Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 59. Is Love REALLY Blind?

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

We’ve been watching the hit Netflix reality dating series Love is Blind and it really got us thinking about what are the most important things in a relationship... *especially* when it comes to physical vs emotional attraction. We also have a little chat on whether love really IS blind... and do the little things actually matter when you are dating someone?! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

let's go hi everyone welcome back to another episode of sex lies and dm slides with me anastasia kingsnore and me saffron barker we are back for another week and back for another opportunity to deep dive into all things sex and relationships so how's your week been you know what my week has actually been really nice this week. My mum and Atticus came up today for like four days, which was lovely. Oh my God, I saw that TikTok. You did that TikTok where you weird smile at him. I've been wanting to do that to someone for so long.

Have you seen the trend? Because obviously people are doing it with their boyfriends. Like, oh, getting my boyfriend to tell the story of how we met. And I'm like, well, I can't do that. So if I do it with Atticus and just ask him like tell me all the things you love about me but I don't think I was like listening to what he was saying because I was so focused on doing the weird face the thing is you didn't do what other people do other people like smile whereas you was doing some like creepy ass face I know I but the thing is because my phone was on back cam I couldn't see

what my face looked like and I hadn't practiced it before i just randomly thought like i'll quickly just do it and i watched it back and i was like oh my god look a bit like like if i had clown makeup on it'd be giving like creepy clown vibes yeah yeah yeah it was like i wish i could sit here and demonstrate it it was so funny but i really want to do it with my dad because my dad is like probably the only person that wouldn't have seen that trend oh you need to do it i think he would be like what the are you doing such a good trend i love that trend and have you seen it's resurfacing again i have done it with my mom and i need to upload it that one where you like fake a birthday message to someone and you have to do like that face you're like happy birthday rachel yes yeah yeah yeah see i want to do that but i feel like my mom and stuff would have already

have seen it well my dad maybe not but yeah maybe your dad is like the perfect person to do all these trends on just yeah and the thing is my dad knowing him he'd probably go along with it so if i said to my dad like because also my dad he thinks he's hilarious and so if i said to him oh they think you're hilarious he'll probably start going along and start doing it too he would he'd start doing the tongue and he'd just be going along with it well that's what I did this week I literally spent the time of my monastica's went out again on the weekend which is really funny because I keep saying in every podcast that I'm not going out every weekend and every weekend you go out and every weekend I go out but it was my friend's birthday this weekend which is a valid excuse yeah going out and we went to some really cool we did a

northern quarter bar crawl we went to this really cool bar called behind closed doors and it's like completely underground and it's like a porn bar oh which like very random but like there's just pictures everywhere of like naked people which sounds a bit odd but like it was it's like a it's giving like amsterdam red light district vibe but in an underground bar right oh it sounds kind of cool but it was very cool like i'd heard loads of people speak about it and i'd had no idea where it was and then we walked past it and like you'd walk past it and miss it but it was a massive so i would recommend that if anybody's in manchester do you know what's annoying me though i know i've

never seen this content like why are we not seeing this going out content i want to see it i know i need to start feeling my nights out as soon as i go on a night out my phone just goes my bag and i'm just i can't bother to carry it as well then i'll just like drink and just not go on my phone but i promise i'm gonna do i feel like i should do like a come with me on a manchester night out tiktok yeah i would watch that i want the amount of bars we found another really cool like tiki bar like we were downstairs and it was like i don't know it's like a normal bar i walk up the stairs massive club looks a bit like hawaii with like tiki bits everywhere i don't just recently been finding some very good wow little gems no you should you should be like vlogging

this i would watch i know next time you go to to Manchester I'll take you out on a night out please yes come out with us so you're probably going to be out this weekend so just do it this weekend that is true I probably will be I probably were in my head I'm not but I probably will what have you been doing this week well what are you doing this week honestly I have just been working on myself I've been very busy at work which is just so boring like not interesting to anyone um I obviously still haven't drank which I actually find madness because the last week I've had like so many opportunities to drink and I reckon by now if I wasn't doing this 75 days of not drinking I reckon I would have drank minimum 10 times by now yeah probably because we're near end

of February yeah and like I had four events last week that like every event I went to I wanted to drink and I you know the self-discipline is that I've never felt so much self-discipline in my life I genuinely feel so proud and I'm going to Dubai on Thursday evening and I'm still not gonna drink I love that for you and if you come back on the pod when you come back from Dubai and still say I did not have a drink I know you have you've mastered self-discipline then no cocktails on the beach crazy that's what it is for me that's like the one time i love a drink it's like cocktail it's just on holiday i just love a cocktail a strawberry daiquiri on the beach or like on a boat oh on a boat i'm just so jealous of the tan you're gonna come back with i've never failed so pale in my

life like i haven't faked tan for like two weeks i keep looking outside like i'm not gonna get a tan until like august to be fair i've still kind of got my tan from summer as well i feel like i haven't faked tan for like two weeks i keep looking outside like i'm not gonna get a tan until like august to be fair i've still kind of got my tan from summer as well i feel like i'm gonna tan so good you will too i still have that weird bikini line yeah i've got i still have it really it's me and you got tan this summer i think the last summer was the most tan i've ever been in my life babe i'd never looked like that. We literally were looking in the mirror like, this is insane. Yeah. I loved it for us.

The UV was doing something on that cruise ship. Honestly, I think it was though because we were on a ship and we were on like the top deck. So obviously like on water you tan more. So it was just an all rounder, insane tanning experience. I've never felt like that in my life. No, neither. Confidence levels through the roof. Yes.

And that is what I'm craving in Dubai. But, you know, there's one negative thing about me going to Dubai. I'm only halfway with Lewis being away. So he's been away for five weeks now. So I've still got another five weeks, which is crazy. Like, it seems like it should be so much closer to the end. I feel like the next five weeks will really like speed up especially because i'm going to dubai but we were talking last night on

facetime and we were like jesus christ like we say to ourselves we can get through these 10 weeks we can get through anything and now i've made it harder for us because now we've got a nine hour time difference nine i didn't even think about you're joking i didn't even think about the time difference are they behind or in front they're behind and then dubai is four hours ahead so yeah it makes it nine hours time difference we were like geez if we can really get through these 10 weeks we can actually get through anything exactly you're getting over some big hurdles here and also first of all you've made it to the halfway point which is amazing but also it literally maybe it doesn't for you but it feels

like for me forget that it was literally yesterday that we had the conversation where you were like he's been gone three weeks and now he is oh it doesn't it definitely doesn't for you no it definitely doesn't for you and you've reached the halfway point it's not long at all because we only got seven training sessions i'm like that makes no difference to me. It's still five points. Yes. In his head, that's like his timing. But you're like, that means nothing.

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Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Visit connectsontario.ca. Let's go. Right, this week's episode,'m very very excited have you been watching the latest series of love is blind i have i've watched as many episodes as like has come out so far have you watched it no so i haven't actually watched this season but i've watched all the past seasons and it's a tv show that I absolutely love like I think I really struggle I love the idea of it but I struggle to get my head around it me too if you haven't watched it by the way it's essentially where like boys will live with each other girls will live each other you're all living these weird like little pod things and you try and meet your

perfect partner but without ever seeing what they look like so it's all based on personality rather than the physical attraction which in hindsight sounds amazing because I can imagine that when you're in that bubble of like that's all you've got to think about just meeting all these different people it would be incredible and I think to be honest I probably would start to take a real liking to people in there but like I just don't know if I could do it and I don't know if that sounds really shallow but I just don't know if I could do it no I agree I definitely agree okay so honest be honest here I guess physical attraction do you think that you need some sort of physical sexual attraction first before you can develop a relationship it's hard because like in like 90 of me is like yes and like it's hard because dating nowadays

is the first step is like based on looks like on dating apps if you like what they look like you're gonna like them so it's all based off of looks like yeah like you might like some of their prompts or whatever but if you don't fancy them you're not going to like them so that's all based on looks you're only going to go up to someone in a bar if you fancy them like you're not like do you know what I mean like you can't you wouldn't find out somebody's personality really unless like you struck really lucky and you were just in a conversation with them unless you fancied them so I do feel like that is such a big part of it because I also want to be so attracted to you that I want to rip your clothes off I want to enjoy that like do you know I mean you need that like feeling yeah do you agree do you agree what

do you think no I definitely agree but I also think that physical attraction and personality is just as important as each other um because know, somebody can be the most beautiful person ever, but if their personality is rubbish, you're not going to want to be with them. You're not going to find them attractive. I definitely do think the physical attraction has to be there. Again, it might sound shallow, but I also think, right, so you can find somebody naturally not, somebody might not be your type, right? But you can get to know them and the personality grows on you that you find them physically more attractive because of how attractive their personality is.

I definitely do think that's a thing. And I think that's happened to me multiple times. However, I do also think in the long run, I think those things tend to not last. Reason being is, is because I think it's easier to like get the ick if you don't find somebody so physically attractive. Like I think in the long, like short run,

it might work, but I actually think they're both as important as each other because I think eventually, I don't know. Yeah. If you don't have that, like I want to rip your clothes off. I don't know I just don't really see it like I don't know I guess maybe from my personal experience it's never really worked I think they are honestly as important as each other

because I would like to I think personality is more important but I definitely think you have to have some sort of physical attraction I agree and and you know that I've been in a situation before where like everything else has been there but I just don't know if I fancied them and that it sounds so shallow and I hate how shallow it sounds but like that did really put me off because I want to really fancy the person that I'm with I really want that but like even did you watch Levan and All Stars yes even everybody going in there right was all saying because obviously they're all a bit old now they're all like kind of like 27 28 and all of them are going in there like personality is my number one thing like every time they were asked what they find attractive they're like oh

just personality and everybody was going for Chris because he has the most insane personality. It's funny. Yeah. But I think I would still say personality, like personality is the most important thing, but I think physical attraction is also so important. Like I don't necessarily have a type, so I couldn't sit there and go, well, the most important thing is they have blonde hair or brown hair. Like to me, that doesn't matter. I have to just find you somewhat physically attractive. Like, I don't think I have a type. So for me, personality is the most important thing because I don't care. I'm sitting across to the most beautiful person ever. If their personality is boring, well, I'm bored and I don't want to be with you. Like that is not someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. So yes, I do think personality is the most important thing I just think physical attraction is also important and I think

people are crazy to say that they don't care about that yeah even if like like you said you don't really have a type and like I've never really been with my type like I have like a guy that I'm in my head I'm like fuck I think you're gorgeous like I would like I could describe a perfect man but like I've never been with someone that actually looks like that really at all I've got a bit of a weird like okay if actually if you were to describe someone that I would be with what would you say they look like they would be tall curly hair brunette um not like too muscly uh i mean you would choose somebody that's probably like a bit more tan although you're never really with guys that are tan

everyone is pale it's made me feel better about myself like you choose someone with i think your thing is like curly hair and you don't even realize it it is it's unintentional curly hair yeah like it just happened yeah I don't know why I also do love a blonde buzz cut but again never be with someone with a blonde buzz no and I just can't see you with somebody with a blonde buzz cut I can't either unfortunately I really can't but I do see myself with someone with curly hair yeah absolutely so I don't really think I've ever been with well that's the thing like I always said I had a type but then I was never really with my type but then it's funny because like my friends would see somebody

and be like oh that's your type like I feel like my friends would just know who I fancy but I don't really have one type yes I feel like I've done that before like I've been I've seen people and I'm like oh like he would be Saf's type or he would be this person's type like you just kind of like I've definitely done that before but yeah I feel like we've never actually I don't know what I've yeah I've never been with my type but I guess that is because I find their personality attractive yeah definitely like that honestly makes the the biggest difference like yeah I've never been with my type for that reason that's the biggest difference like yeah I've never been with my type for that reason that's the thing we all say we have these types but really

it does come down to personality but again it's not that these people that I've been with that aren't necessarily my types I haven't found attractive I've still found them attractive yeah a hundred percent yeah me too like and you have to have I agree with you even if it's not like a hundred percent your dream type you still have to have some level of I want to rip your clothes off oh I really fancy but that does come with falling in love with them more and that does come with the more time you spend with them and the more you see them as a person you just fall in love fall in love with them as a person as a whole rather than just for obviously what they look like yeah I mean I was with a guy once and like honestly everyone would look at him and think,

I mean, I think everyone would look at this boy and think, wow, he's a beautiful human being. But his personality was so bland that like everything about him became unattractive because he was so bland. Like there was nothing there that then I honestly, like it just made everything about him unattractive and I think it goes both ways I do think personality does make a huge impact on what

they look like as well but yeah I think yeah like I said I think it'd be crazy for people to say it all I care about is personality I don't think that's true no I don't think that's true either and it's like if I was in love is blind right as well I feel like I'd be getting to know somebody and in my head I would start to picture what I think they look like and then I think that's the part I would struggle with because when you see each other for the first time I'd be imagining all these different things in my head of what this person could look like and even though yes I've fallen in love with their personality I wasn't again as shallow as it sounds I wouldn't want to be disappointed which I'm sure I wouldn't be but like you just feel so many fucking emotions

like seeing this person for the first time like I just wouldn't know how to deal with it all yeah I definitely agree I think it's hard as well because most people I've been with I've met online so I've got to know their personality online and I've like it sounds crazy but like I've fallen I've fallen for them online throughout throughout everything they've been telling me through what they've been saying and you kind of like create this image of someone but even so I still know what they look like yes so you can imagine how they'd say things and I don't know it's you're still getting to know their personality online so like you're not really getting to know them like they could say anything like their morals and stuff might like you know how they react to a wait waitress for an

example might be different in real life compared to what they text you so you can still create like a false image but like you know what they look like whereas love is blind i find crazy that yeah like you said you can have this idea of what someone looks like and for them to walk out and to look completely opposite to what you expect I don't know I just don't know how I'd feel about that I don't know crazy but it works the thing is it works it doesn't like I actually don't know if like from the past seasons if some people are still together or not I'm I'm going to assume that some of them probably are but like it's such a crazy concept and I love the concept of it like imagine saying to someone like oh how did you and your partner meet oh we got to know each other in a pod on a blind date for blind dates on blind dates for a literally until do they get do they get married do they propose each other

yeah imagine it's as soon as they walk out as well isn't it yeah as soon as they walk out will you marry me i i wouldn't know where to look my head would be all over the fucking place yeah i don't know it's yeah it's actually crazy it's crazy because i think as well some people that don't work out you can see that they wasn't expecting somebody to look a certain way as well i mean they do talk about what they look like yeah that is true they do they can describe themselves yeah too and then if only you can start to i'd be still picturing like 15 different versions of them though if they said blonde hair blue eyes like i don't know who i'd start to picture but i know it would be very

exciting but also like very fucking scary but i think like if you do have that little if you do have a bit of physical attraction to them you definitely know they're the one because you've got to know their personality inside out i was literally that you would know like or get to like everything about them like in that time but you know what the only thing i would struggle with as well like being in there is like if you you know when sometimes they like the same person or like that person likes to is getting to know two people at the same time and then you're living with that other person yeah I'm not doing that no that I start that I start to send me crazy but that really really would and then if I ended up falling in love with them they didn't choose me and then I saw them and I thought oh my god yeah you are the

most beautiful person in the world it's just a lot of emotional emotional ups and downs they're going through in there. Yeah, absolutely. Like the deal on new running shoes squeal. The deal on a new blender squeal. Or the infamous deal on a new massager squeal. Save big on electronics, fashion, and more this Prime Big Deal Days, October 8th and 9th. After decades of shaky hands caused by debilitating tremors, Sunnybrook was the only hospital in Canada who could provide Andy with something special. Three neurosurgeons, two scientists,

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okay so let's talk about emotional attraction then is this important to you like do you think like emotional attraction is more important than physical attraction when you say emotional attraction can you like explain I guess being like very like emotionally available like feeling like they like understand you thinking about them often like enjoying spending time together like just being like I guess yeah like really like emotionally available yeah I mean for me that's personally that's such a big thing like I wouldn't want to be of somebody that wasn't like that and couldn't express how they feel and so yeah I think that's super super important it's hard like yes I probably would say that personality and emotional attraction for me is more important than physical

attraction I just think I'd be lying if I said that physical attraction didn't matter because I do think it matters yes me too but being emotionally available I've only realized like as I've gotten older is such an important thing oh such an important thing yeah and that really is like one thing that it's hard isn't it because you can't just say to someone like are you emotionally available like I wouldn't just come out with that question on the first date no I think that's something you'd like discover about somebody over time and I think if somebody's really emotionally available you will notice that quite early on and if they're not you're no I mean I think it's something you will notice very early on because it takes one million percent a lot of confidence I think

to be emotionally available and so you'll see that a hundred percent like I've been literally in like two polar opposite situations where someone is so emotionally available like I've never seen anything like it in my life to someone who is completely shut off in that like area and it's like it's so difficult that that is what emotion availability would be like one of my number one things that like I'm looking for in a partner now because I've only realized how important it is as of recently like it actually is crazy yeah but it's crazy because I wouldn't have said that any of like my exes wasn't emotionally available but compared to my boyfriend now like he is so emotionally available like to the point where he is so honest about how he feels I just think being honest and

open about how you feel is so important because all it does is resolve an issue so much quicker yes a hundred like he doesn't drag things out I've just yeah for me like I've said this so many times in this podcast but it's one of my favorite things about him like it's that important you've always said that to me from like very early on you're like he is so emotionally available yeah to be honest i kind of literally saw that from day one genuinely hand on my heart actually maybe day two day two day two from knowing him I realized that he was emotionally available because it was like that obvious yeah and but like you said like that makes everything so much easier because you can just talk and be honest with each other and you always know where

each other is at whereas when you're with somebody who's emotionally unavailable you're always kind of guessing a little bit yeah which is like so one is so painful second of all it just plays with your emotions it's like yeah yeah there's so much confusion there which nobody wants no but the emotional availability if you've got that removes all that confusion who's like so yeah i feel like going forward that is like but this is the thing with love is blind though it's like it's so much easier to be emotionally available because you're hiding behind a wall i think saying that is like but this is the thing with love is blind though is like it's so much easier to be emotionally available because you're hiding behind a wall i think saying that is behind a wall and actually saying it to somebody's face is two completely different things so i feel like with that show you know for me to say i didn't like you and i can't see you is 10 times easier than

me saying it to your face that is very true because i would also feel like so comfortable because that person can't see me would also feel like so comfortable because that person can't see me so like I can just lay on that sofa sprawled out wearing whatever I want like no makeup whatever just getting myself like super comfy but having the most like but having the most like emotionally available conversation with them but yeah if I was having that face to face and I could see them i agree with you it would be a completely different ball game yeah but it's like even how there's like keyboard warriors for an example it's so much easier to say everything behind a mask like i don't know even when i've

met people before even with my boyfriend now we spoke for so long online that and in fact we would facetime and stuff as well so we'd speak but even that initial when you see each other it's so weird because naturally if you have a connection online you start like flirting more but when you see them you're not just going to start like flirting as if you would when you've been texting them it is just so different when you see someone yeah it really really is especially if you can on love is blind marry them as soon as you first see them yeah which is crazy absolutely crazy the next one somebody's morals someone someone's morals have to align with yours like i feel like that is like again up there with emotional up there with emotional, up there with emotional availability, morals are so important.

So important. Yeah. And that maybe even tops emotionally available, to be fair. Yeah. If I don't like your morals, there's absolutely nowhere

I could be with you. No, neither. And I feel like that's a good... That's like major red flag because I have great morals. Major red flag. No, I agree with you though because like nothing it's not really gonna work unless your morals align no and like genuinely I think I have great morals so if your morals

aren't aligning then like you don't have good morals because I would like to think I have good morals and I've been brought up well and to be polite and me too yeah like I would just if somebody's more is in the line I would just find that crazy I think that's also like when you're saying you've been brought up really well and like how to treat people and stuff I feel like that's something that I would struggle with in love is blind because yeah you can fall in love with them like for their personality but you're not going to see them out and about in like public situations or out like and I would struggle with that so much like if I'd fallen in love with this person but they're rude to a waiter I don't know what I'd do do you know what I mean like I'd be

thinking to myself like I think I'd find that so hard yeah and like I said it's so easy to say what you want what you think somebody wants you to hear behind the screen. Yes. Oh, I've got to watch the new season now. This is making me want to watch it and see how many people lost. It genuinely really is terrifying. Do they, I can't remember if I'm right or not, but at the end, don't they go on like a holiday and stuff as well?

And they all like go away together. Yeah. All the couples go away. Yeah. And then they start living together and then they start switching couples sometimes oh my god the physical attraction does make a difference you are so right in the last season some of them switched didn't they because they fancied like the opposite couple that's crazy because the thing is like that's the thing and they all kind of got to know each other

right so personality does matter but I just yeah I do I don't know I keep saying it but I do think the physical attraction does somewhat need to be there and I think the couples that do work out like they obviously do and obviously personality makes someone attractive but they obviously do find them in some way physically attractive because if like yeah there's a lot of people with great personalities like I don't I don't know how to explain it but I just yeah I think I honestly think they're both as important as each other I think morals are super super important I think yeah I think would that show it's hard because you don't actually get to see what they're like in public you don't get to see i don't know like tiny little things

like i guess this isn't really physical attraction but like physical things that they do nobody's no it's true like their little like and their little habits and like i don't know like it's a very's true like they're little like and their little habits and like i don't know like it's a very unnatural way to fall in love with someone in the in love is blind like it's a it's a way that like unless you're doing that tv show you're never going to have the opportunity to fall in love with someone like that really whatever we're like it's just not going to be a thing so like the whole concept is, would you do it? If you got like, say if you were single and you got offered, would you do it?

No. I don't think I would either. No, I don't think I, no, I wouldn't. I really think I would. I'd love to go in there for a day just for the experience of like speaking to all the people just out of curiosity of what it's like. Yeah. I think I just don't even like the idea of falling. like you said I don't like the idea of falling for someone even if their personality is amazing I will create this image of somebody in my head and if they

didn't come out like that I think either way I would almost like be disappointed like even if I found them even more attractive than what I expected them to be like I just think if it isn't what I would be imaging in my head either way it would like freak me out so I just I just don't think personally I'd be able to do it I think it's amazing people that do but I think all of it's as important as each other I think that the modern day the modern day version like the version that we could all like do that is like texting too much before you meet someone this is something i do as well because i do think personality is so important no you know what i have fallen foul to this on two separate occasions and it is crazy because like you'll be speaking to someone and just the way that they text and the way that they respond and like the conversations you're

having makes you really like someone without meeting them we have both done this we've both done it and i genuinely like this is so weird to admit i've actually obviously i haven't felt heartbroken i've actually had that feeling of like oh my god i literally been saying like two days and then nothing maybe a bit longer than two days but like i feel you like genuinely same thing like personality is so important and the way somebody texts you can kind of gauge of how you think they'd be like if you saw them i don't know like you can text someone you could be like how are you and they can just respond yeah i'm good but somebody that's constantly like bringing conversation to the table and constantly asking you things like even over a text you can

understand what somebody would be like in person yeah so I think it is really easy to fall in like to fall for someone so easy and I'd never really had it before maybe I like romanticized the whole idea a little bit too much because like I always knew what he looked like I found him on a dating app I really fancied him and I liked a lot of things about him but just the conversation and his personality from what I'd seen through the text was just like exactly what I wanted and then when it finished after two days because he ended up ghosting me or whatever I was like oh my god like it actually really hurt have you ever text someone like that much really fallen for them and then met them and they've been completely different because you've created an image of them yes I did that with yeah the guy that I went on a date with uh when did I

go on a date with him the last day I went on for Christmas like around like November-ish time I think okay so you was texting him so we texted for like a week or so and then we kind of lost contact because we both got really busy and then it came about again a couple of weeks after to go out for a date but like in that first like week of us texting for like two three days I like the idea of him again it was the exact same feeling I had with this other guy I was like oh my god I really like him like how can I really like I've never met you but like I just really the vibe was just so like perfect and then when I met him in real life I almost just felt a little

bit not let down because that's horrible but like it just wasn't what I had was he not giving what he was giving on the text then not really like not really at all I feel like I you you can gauge someone's intention I think from the first five minutes of me in them so do you think also it's partly like not your fault but do you think also where you were texting him so much, you created such an image of him that when you met him, he didn't quite live up to that? Yes, I created a false reality. Right. I think, or a false image of him. See, I think that's so easily done.

It's so easily done. Because especially when, like, I don't know, I have a bit of a wild imagination anyway. And I do have that tendency to start imagining our kids and our wedding and all that stuff which is so fucking dramatic but like everyone's done it like the thought has been there in everyone's head like I definitely was doing that and then obviously it didn't work out like that like I could just tell like within the first five minutes of meeting him like so lovely gorgeous in real life so like he was actually like one of the people that I've met for that like on a date that i thought fucking hell like you're actually gorgeous i really fancy you which doesn't come easy for me

because i actually don't find that many people like that that that attractive um but yeah it just after five minutes i was thinking you literally just came here for a shack right okay do you know i mean like the whole energy he was giving me over text was just not. The same. The same. So I've definitely. See, it's hard because I would say don't text someone too much. But every person I've ever been with, I've texted way too much before I've met them. Because I do feel like you do get to know somebody to a certain extent.

Like, like I said, little things like, you know, if they ask you a question back like all of those sort of things I think you can gauge on a text but like you said I think it's super easy to get a false image of somebody and again I think it's so easy to even portray like a false image of yourself like you know I feel like all of us have had that one guy that's like you know said all of these like I don't know like really dirty things to you about how they want to rip your clothes off and do this and that and they see you in real life and they aren't given any of that no like every I feel like genuinely everyone has been through that like guys I mean girls probably do it too but you know say all of these

things but it's so easy to say that because it's over text and it comes to it and they're not doing any of that they're not saying any of that but it's so much easier to say that over text so again if you was proper into that it's so easy to create this image with somebody over text so I just think meeting somebody in person is just so much more important than like yeah just texting I guess yeah me too like the thing is we say to people like don't text too much as well before like you meet someone because I personally like the thing is like I want to get to know them to a certain level before I go on a date with them but I also don't because I want to have loads of questions to ask on the first date like when I've really gotten to know someone over text maybe for like i don't know so if you were texting for like three weeks before we met i'd be so much more

nervous meeting them in real life because i would have this expectation of what they're like i would be expecting a certain person to turn up and if that person doesn't turn up i'm going to be disappointed and i also wouldn't know what to fucking ask yeah and also i feel like sometimes you take it too far on text like even with flirting like you have so much time to think about what you're gonna say and like flirting and then you see them in person you're like shit when i'm flirting with someone over text of course it's me but it's also probably you and my friends maybe yes exactly like you're not just flirting with the whole group what do i say to this yeah all that we're setting with screenshot and things like help what can i put it's like

actually you're flirting with my friend you might like her more so when it's in person it's actually going to be a little bit harder yeah no so yeah true let's go it's a new day how can you make the most of it with your membership rewards points? Earn points on everyday purchases. Use them for that long-awaited vacation. You can earn points almost anywhere, and they never expire. Treat your friends or spoil your family. Earn them on your adventure and use them how you want, when you want.

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To discover how, visit bhp.com slash better future. Let's go okay the last one then overlooking red flags so do you think that like if you were getting to know someone through love is blind or on text or whatever because you're not seeing them in real life do you think you could overlook red flags easier or would that be something that you'd do i think i would overlook red flags less if i couldn't see them if i didn't find them physically attractive i'm just going off personality they're giving me red flags i feel like i'm gonna do that less but also if somebody's the opposite somebody's personalities and morals

was so perfect then I'd probably overlook red flags in fact I've done that yes I definitely have also done that because like again I've romanticized the idea of them in my head to a person that they're not and if there is a little red flag I'm like oh that's not a red flag yeah and especially if something like your morals and stuff align yes you're like oh yeah but his morals like he would never and you just overlook those things right yeah because in your head you're like well all this works yeah it's gonna work like it will be fine we can work through it but actually probably not like yeah like if i see a red flag now i'm like i'm seeing that red flag and I'm ignore like I will either end the situation or bring that red flag up yeah because I can't be doing my red flags nowadays

I'm 23 but I feel like I'm getting too old for it no I agree agree we are looking for emotionally available emotionally mature men exactly I mean I've got that I'm quite lucky yeah that's what you're looking for you've got that emphasis on the man. I want a man. Yes, please. Not a boy. I'd love a man.

That'd be lovely. Anyone out there listening. I'm sick of fucking thinking that. Okay. So that is all for today, guys. Let us know. Could you do love is blind? Could you do that?

Yeah. I want everyone's opinions on it. Yeah. And also as well, like, do you agree with us do you think personality and physical attraction is as important as each other because I think to round up I think we both agree that they're both as important as each other I agree with you or even if they're

not as important as each other I don't know actually personality probably is more important in my eyes but I think you've got to have that physical attraction there. So maybe not as important as each other, but I think they're both very important. It still matters. Yeah, like they say, looks fade, personality stays 1 million percent. Exactly. But you do just need that little bit of a mixture of both.

A little bit of spark, I think, to make it exciting. I think to be nervous around somebody, I don't think just personally, i don't think just personally i don't think just somebody's personality can do that to me no because a big part of a relationship and this is what makes a difference between a friendship and a relationship is the sexual attraction that you have for each other and that intimacy you have with somebody the intimacy and you need the physical attraction there to be able to have that and build a stronger relationship so i think that is also why that little bit of like physical attraction definitely matters

but yeah you said i want to feel nervous so that feeling's like exciting so let us know let us know what you guys think message us or leave us a review on the spotify and let us know what you guys think um we will be filming a bonus episode on thursday so go and check that out so you don't miss out and you can catch up on last week's episode and yeah we shall see you guys very very soon bye guys bye