Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 62. Outdated Dating Etiquette - Should It Stay or Go

Episode Date: March 14, 2024

In this week’s bonus episode, we look at well-known dating etiquette and traditions from over the years and whether these are still relevant in 2024 or outdated and need to go. We discuss things like calling vs texting, whether a guy should pick up a girl for a first date, and waiting 'til the third date to seal the deal. Love you guys! Xoxox Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

let's go hi everyone welcome back to sex lies and dm slides it is thursday which means we are back for our bonus episode so in our last episode we spoke about dreams and what they mean and it was really weird um so i would recommend going to listen to that i must say that's actually one of my favorite episodes we've filmed me too because i love talking about it i find that stuff so interesting. And honestly, guys, the second you start listening, you're going to find the most wild fact out.

You're all... Anna threw this fact in that, Jesus, like you're going to be gobsmacked when you find this one out. So go and listen to that episode. I'm going to start bringing a fact to every podcast episode. You're not only going to learn your dating and sex advice on here, you're going to be whacking out the facts that you can use on first date. Whacking out these facts that are not true at all.

That is just made up at the top of my head because it sounds quite shocking. It's like, but no, I actually do have some really good facts though. That one was just, I happen to not be true. The one about the dinosaurs and telescopes is so cool. And that is true. So I do actually know some really good facts just not the dream one but for our bonus this week we wanted to discuss some classic dating etiquette

and traditions that still exist and we're going to give our little take on whether these should still be a thing or not yes okay first one okay should we go down this list do the list you start a guy picking the location for a first date i feel like we should say yes or no three two yes yes definitely absolutely definitely for a first date like i i don't really mind doing it for the second i actually kind of enjoy that i like alternating in the whole dating thing because it means that like i don't know like i love surprises but i also do like having a little bit of control but for the first date i'm not picking a thing sorry i'm not the thing is like yeah i'm like you i don't mind it's like i don't mind but to me it's just so much more attractive

if you're just like i booked here or if he was like, okay, meet me at 7pm at this place. Or meet me at 7pm here. And it's like a surprise. Yes. I'm like, oh, I like that. Yeah. It just, I don't know. It's giving a man. It's not giving a boy.

Yes. If you're in the same area or you're both traveling, I personally think it's so much more attractive for a guy to just be like, we're going to go here. Me too. Completely agree. Okay. The next one. Having a guy pick you up on the first date i mean to be honest i kind of like the idea of going there myself me too for a first day i think the car journey awkward like i don't even want that for

a first date definitely i think i would rather just meet you there and like make my own way back yeah make my way back home also but maybe second or third date once i'd met you i wouldn't be so opposed to you picking me up i actually still do think i'd find it attractive like even on the first day if a guy was like oh i'll pick you up i'd be like oh that's nice but like i'm not bothered about it it's not like oh my god he like didn't offer to pick me up yeah because i don't really i wouldn't really want the first conversation to be like in the car if he was sat in the car like if he got out the car and waited by the door to open the door and give me a hug i think

that's really sweet but like if he was just sat in the car and then i had to walk over and he's watching me walk over to the car oh my god i've got the about myself i'm not doing that yeah and also like imagine like i think i could easily get the ick like if he had like a manual car and he kept stalling it i think i would get the it me too genuinely like to the point where like it would put me off i wouldn't even want or like he couldn't park the car like yeah yeah there's so many things that give me the there's too many things that could go wrong or like even if he had a really nice car like he was trying to drive it fast i'd be thinking every time i rev the engine i'm like mate your dick is tiny yeah so i actually think i'd rather just make my own way there but also like it would be like it's still i think it's just for me it's

attractive anyone just having the confidence to be like i'll do this arsehole a hundred percent so it's not like it's unattractive but just for me personally I'll just I'm okay I'll just meet yeah me too okay the next one being fashionably late to a date well if it was us we already had this discussion didn't we we were like yeah we're gonna we can be five ten minutes late but if he was five ten minutes late and I was left standing there I wouldn't like that no but then that's one more one yeah which I mean it's not really fair no No, not at all. Let's be honest. Not at all. But I do think... I don't know. Maybe I'm a bit more old-fashioned.

Like, I just don't think it's very nice for a girl to be waiting by herself, but then a guy can say the exact same thing, so I get it literally sounds like one more for one and not for the other. I would just prefer if he was waiting there when I got there. Same.

I'd like a guy to be early. Yeah, me too. Because fashionably late is like, if you're a couple minutes late because of traffic or there's actually a genuine reason, fair enough. But if you're turning up half an hour late, for what? That's not like fashionably late. That's just like rude.

There's a difference between fashionably late and just being late. And genuinely, somebody would go down in my books for being late. As they would for me. Retweet. Yeah. Let's go. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on

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like oh yeah do you know what that's happened to me so many times where guys pull the chair out and then like tried to push me in i'm thinking no i'm sitting on the chair you don't need to push yeah it's like i'll push myself in just if you could just pull it out yeah and i'm thinking oh well we can't push the chair no it's a little awkward it's fine i'm like shuffling my own leg it's trying to push you in it made a really big noise and it scraped across the floor i'd be like oh my god this is just awful yeah i think like the pulling out the chair is really lovely yeah but don't push me in yeah no that's actually so cute okay the next one a guy paying the bill on the first date i mean this is very i feel like it's actually controversial nowadays but i'm saying a guy should absolutely i would like that if the guy has asked me out i would really like that if he paid i would

obviously if he said let's go half and half of course i'm paying half and half like i have no problem yes with paying for my half but i would i'm very old-fashioned i would like him to pay for the first date i would just think they don't really like me very much yeah me too especially if they'd ask me and then they're like oh okay i'm paying my half i'd be like okay i just feel a bit like oh god yeah agreed men making the first move yes i like that yeah i like that but again i think that yeah no i think so but i also don't have a fear of like making the first move like i thought you know that i've got i don't mind going up to people in the bar you're very good at making the first yeah i'm just like

oh if i fancy that i'll fuck it but then i like your mentality of like well if they like not saying they don't fancy me back but like if they fancy me they're gonna come up to me like if they want to speak to me they would and i think i need to adapt that like mentality a little bit more rather than me just going up to someone at barbie and like hi yeah don't chase don't chase attract i've got to tell you something as well we're gonna have to go through the next one to quick fire because i was gobsmacked i was meant to text this the other day um i was in albert schloss on tuesday shock and the guy who we went when we were in albert schloss like a year ago whatever was not the guy i saw in your guy you saw in my lobby when we were in albert's like a year ago whatever not the guy i saw in your guy you saw in my lobby

when we were getting food comes up to me he went i recognize you i went oh my god you're the guy from i was like yeah we went on that out bar blah and yeah he's been texting me since no and i'm obviously not but so not the one that messaged me no no he's the the one that i was speaking to the friend yeah yeah the friend oh my god that's so funny maybe you're destined to be with him maybe what he said to me about going to the pool together for like a little like date thing but i was just so taken back i was like out how do you feel about that like go to the pool together because you're in the same apartment block but also you haven't gone on a date well baby if i'm honest he first of all he crashed it was work night out like i was with byron and eliza and he comes over with his different friend

who was apparently his godfather it was all very weird he comes over and was like can we join and i gave eliza that look of like we're gonna have him join for two minutes and we're gonna get him to leave so then he joined for like two minutes and then i gave eliza that look and she caught ties with me and she went right guys so unfortunately it is worn out so we're gonna have to end the conversation and i was like oh my god and then he texted me the next day and was like um your friend was really funny and i was like blah blah like we know when we're not wanted i was like yeah sorry about that like you were like oh my god that is so i know well yeah you're probably not wanted because you've just come and joined some random yeah and

like he oh it was just so bizarre and he you could tell he just wanted one thing as well and i'm thinking babe not tonight you're not getting i've not seen him around at all since and now i know i'm gonna constantly be seeing it and do you wanna know who else i saw i'll tell you what though i'd love another night in albert's life that is a good babe do you know who else i saw from that night i mean a different pub the other week the guy we tipped 100 pound no he comes up to me and i'm looking i'm thinking god i really recognize your face i'm thinking where do i know you from he went yeah you're looking at me really weirdly you and saff tipped me a hundred pound i was like i wish you i was like you were so lovely he was so nice because

he was giving us free drinks we was at the bar i mean and it was so drunk and he kept giving us free drinks i mean and i were like no we need to yeah there's no way he's gonna carry on we had a hundred pound on us we're like oh we'll tip him 100 pound that didn't even feel enough like he was the nicest guy but i'm getting a lot that's so funny you saw a lot of blast from the past recently just all coming back from that one night so we need to do another night out in manchester next time you come up here we're going to albert yeah a hundred percent and my 75 days is nearly over look at that maybe my first drinking night out is gonna be we're gonna go to albert house we're gonna go to die cast because that is the new My 75 days is nearly over. Look at that. Maybe my first drinking night out is going to be in Manchester. We're going to go to Albert House.

We're going to go to Diecast because that is the new Alberts and everyone is loving it. Is that the porn place? No, that's behind closed doors, but we can also go there. We've got lots of places. Okay. Let's go. Prime Big Deal Days is coming October 8th and 9th with exclusive savings just for Prime members. Involuntary deal squeals can happen,

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You can earn points almost anywhere, and they never expire. Treat your friends or spoil your family. Earn them on your adventure and use them how you want, when you want. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Learn more at amex.ca slash yamxtermsapply. let's go let's quickly go through these let's just say yes or no okay let's kind of like quick fire yeah a guy walking you home checking you got back okay yeah big fat yes they're genuinely shows that yeah i love that that really made me smile if someone did that yeah a hundred percent there's a guy texting first after a date yes or is the girl texting first desperate nope i oh do you know what though i just want it to come i think if

you text straight away and was like thank you so much for dinner if the guy paid fine yeah but i think it's when you like leave it hours then you seem desperate because it's like he's waiting for a message i personally if i wanted to message somebody after i would message them straight away and be like thank you so much for dinner i had a really nice completely agree then see what they gauged yeah i wouldn't wait until the next day because then it looks as though you have been waiting for the text yes i completely agree kissing on the first date yeah i don't see a problem i don't see a problem i've kissed on the first i don't really get why people are too fast i genuinely don't see a problem in that it's just a kiss i feel like i'm not deeping it that much no i'm not leaving that that's fine um calling as opposed to texting i mean i do this i do this i don't i'm a very much

a caller a facetimer a voice noter i like that though does take me by surprise sometimes when my mom and atticus were here someone who i went on a date with the guy who did the phone set up his phone in my apartment he called me when my mom and atticus were here to say what to ask me imagine to ask if i wanted to go for lunch on the weekend what no and i'm sorry that just seems like such a random so right i did just have that because i went atticus one second i'm just going to answer this phone call because i'm so confused and i asked it like hello like it was one of those hellos of like have you called the right person hello because this isn't right he was just like yeah you mean to be yeah is this the right person he was like yeah i just

thought like what you're doing this weekend should we go for lunch on sunday and i was like oh no i think that's these are weird like i call people but i wouldn't call someone out the blue like i would be like text yeah no very strange no i wouldn't i'm more likely voice no yeah i'd voice no i like a voice note. Yeah. But we're very much voice noters. We definitely are. I'm actually,

I'm that voice noter that you would hate though. Like literally telling you a story. My friend Jasmine, I love her. I'm so out on her but she is the worst for that. Like literally could be cut down

to 30 seconds but instead it's three and a half minutes long. It does stress me out when I see a three and a half minute long voice note notes you can't go off the message either while you're listening to it well to be fair whatsapp is great though because you can fast oh what's that yes whatsapp's good voice note on whatsapp i know i'm guilty of this i go oh what was i gonna say again um oh sorry i forgot oh um and then i go on and i know i do that and it's so annoying like it's really convenient for the person sending annoying like it's really convenient for the person

sending it but it's not convenient for the person receiving it no okay the next one not having sex until the third date where's the third date

come from I think a lot of people do have like the three date rule it's a bit of like an unsaid rule in the dating world but I think it's just

different for every person if you want to sleep with them on the first date you go do that if you don't want to sleep with them until the tenth date I think it's just really personal I think it's just different every person if you want to sleep with them on the first day you go do that if you don't want to sleep with them until the 10th day i think it's just really personal i think

it's hard because like if i was like giving advice and somebody said what's better i'd probably say wait because also you can do that whenever and like yeah somebody probably will want you more like just knowing because you're just harder to get but at the same time I really think if somebody likes you having sex with them on the first date really will make no difference like the amount of my friends that are in long-term relationships and they set up their boyfriend on the first date and it's worked out is crazy and I have friends also that have not slept with the guy on the first date and haven't ended up with them I think it's just so dependent on the person and how much they like you I don't think that's enough to put someone

off you but also like if I was giving advice I'd say probably just wait like it's not something that's necessary but also I feel like if something that happens I don't really think it's like you should beat yourself up I think we need to get a guys we just to keep saying we need to get a guy on the podcast I want to pick a guy's brain about all these different things i want to know their opinion on this as well so we need to i think they would also say wait i think they would say you know like you always want what you can't get yeah it's exciting building up to i guess as well like that sexual tension in that build a little bit i like and i think also it probably makes you look like you wouldn't just go have sex with anyone on the first day like it would it would look more like you haven't slept

with as many people but like i do also feel like it's such one rule for one and one more like it's completely different rules for girls and guys which i think is super unfair so that's why i feel like it's hard when girls beat themselves up about it because it's so fine for a guy to sleep with a girl on the first date why is it not fine the other way around that's how episode in itself for real okay last two then guys being shorter than girls well i think this is all dependent i mean if you're shorter than me you actually are crazy short me and you are very small yeah we're very small i personally so i would personally like someone me too i personally would like taller again yet yeah might not happen that way i i've dated a lot of short kings in the past but i would like someone a little bit taller and then and i do

feel bad for guys because there is a lot of pressure and that is it's not something they can change or help like they can't do anything about that so it's really it's not very nice at all um and then the last one lying about your body count i mean i'd rather someone be honest like even like no matter what it is i would rather someone be honest yeah especially if you're like lying so ridiculously you just like at the end of the day even white lies all end up coming out so you should just be honest but also I don't it's crazy isn't it I was having this conversation with my friend the other day like it's crazy how you have to tell someone your body count like why does it actually even matter like it no it genuinely is true like and it's not like

is it your business it i i kind of want to know but like yeah it's not really going to change anything because if we're now going to be together forever like you can't change it so you either embrace it or just agree to not talk about it at all but anyway those are all of the ones that we've got to discuss today like i said we need to get a boy on the podcast so we can pick a boy's brain about all these different things so i'm sure we've got lots of questions that we could ask yeah but thank you all very much for listening make sure to go and listen to tuesday's episode as well all about the weird dreams the weird facts that i decided to come up with um and i hope you guys enjoyed and we will see you on Tuesday for another episode bye see you guys then bye