Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 65. Dating Older vs. Younger - Does Age REALLY Matter?

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

Something that seems to be a dating trend in 2024 is cross-generational relationships. So we thought we’d take a deep dive and ask the big questions.... like would we rather date someone older or younger than us? Does age REALLY matter when you’re dating someone and can age gap relationships really stand the test of time? Plus, we talk about the major differences when dating older vs. younger. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Let's go. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to Sex, Lies and DM Slides. It is Thursday, which means we are back for our bonus episode. So in our last episode, we spoke all about female friendships and the importance of them. So today we thought we would talk about a predicted dating trend for 2024 by Bumble, which is cross-gen romance so dating younger versus dating older where do we start where where do we start wow okay the percentage that we've got here it says 63%

of people who were surveyed said age isn't a defining factor when dating whilst 59 of women say they're now open to dating someone younger than them thoughts thoughts oh personally i don't think i would date younger yeah i never thought i would and then i did and i think i will probably always go for someone that's older now. I just think, and of course, there can be exceptions to the rule. I completely understand that. But I just think boys are so immature. Boys are immature? They're way behind their years than we are.

They just are. They just are immature and i think what what is it like they're like six years behind us or something in maturity six or seven years so like if you're dating a 22 year old then maturity wise they're like 15 16 yeah and i can see that yeah one million percent me too whereas when you and i can see the difference when you're dating like a 27 28 year old even though you're like mentally there might be 22 23 but the difference it just in the way that they respect and treat women is just completely different and of course like i said there is exception to the rules and we're being very stereotypical but as a whole as a whole older men are for me where it's

at i mean as we all know yeah i think older men i've kissed a few older men which have you dated someone that's younger before have you been have you because it's not in a serious way i've not spoken to someone who's younger i think my ex-boyfriend was a couple of years older um and i could definitely tell that from previous people that i dated before um it's not that it can't work but I just think boys are fucking immature when they're younger like I just like and also I I think the thing that's hard is that when I'm dating someone I wouldn't want to date someone who is too much younger because we're going to be on different life sort of paths like and at different ages like if i was also to date someone now who is like a

30 year old man he might be ready for kids and marriage whereas i'm not well then what is the perfect like for the age that we're at what is the perfect age then that's what i mean like ideally in my head i'm 23 now the max i would probably date is 26 just purely based but oh that's that again like that could change but that's only based on the fact of like i wouldn't want to be at two different set like times in our life where like he's ready for something that i'm not or like vice versa now what's the what's the oldest and the youngest that you would date i think i would date a lot older are we talking like 30s yeah oh i think i definitely i think i definitely. But then I do also agree with what you're saying.

Like, I know that I don't want a family right now. I know I don't. So I don't know. Like, I guess that is the one thing is like being on different paths, but I don't know. Like you said,

I just think maturity is so different in, in guys. And I do think they are behind in that sense so i don't know if i said the perfect age i'd probably say i don't know with us being 23 god am i 24 this year yeah babe we're 24 oh my god i'm 24 this year wow out that's a bit painful i know the fact we're 25 next year like it's not even no i don't want i actually don't want to talk about that because you know if we're 25 we're like in the X factor 25s and older. Yeah, and we're close to 30.

But also at the same time, I hear a lot of people say 30 is their best year of their lives. No, they do. And they have a whole new like, you know, they might come out of a relationship and hit hot girl summer again at 32. And I'm like, you know what, babe? If that's my life path, I'm fine with it.

Yeah. No, that's true. Anything goes at this point. No, it does does but i just think it's just a 25 is a painful number i know i just i don't feel it though i think that's the thing yeah but i just don't feel that old sometimes no but i think that's why it's more painful yeah because other people look at us as old and it's like no i'm mentally not that age yeah like i know i'm really mature maturity i am that age yeah maturity wise i'm that age but like in my head i'm like oh you i'm still 20 like i'm like do you know what i mean

but then our parents say that to us right my parents are like we don't feel 50 you won't feel 50 and i'm like i must feel 50 my nan who's 79 or she might be 80 now she genuinely tells me that she feels like she's 40 i love that i really hope i feel like that when i'm like 79 80 same yeah it's a good way to be but anyway back to men yeah i'd probably say like my perfect my perfect age even though there is no perfect age probably 27 yeah okay yeah i think because maybe they'd act more like a i don't know if that like there is it six years is that what they say i think it's six years maybe i think yeah it's around that and i think i'm mature at 2023 so if they act like a 22 year

old they'd hopefully mature enough 100 yeah i would agree with you like the 26 27 mark would be like like on my hinge thing where like you can choose your age it's 24 and above just because like and it does annoy me because i think like is there like a 23 or 22 year old that would be like perfect and mature but just in my head i'm like oh no i do just want to date a bit older because like I said I think there's a huge difference in how they treat and respect women and I've seen that in relationships I'm going back to university for zero dollar delivery fee up to five percent off orders and five percent uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think university is for.

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Let's go. do you know anybody who's dating like a lot older or a lot younger i actually have no friends that are dating a lot older or a lot younger don't think um this is the thing my best friend is dating someone that's younger a year younger and he's so mature and he's incredible to her but I feel like that is a lot rarer yeah to be fair that's the exception yeah that's that's literally he is the exception he is so incredible to her he is just oh he's just so sweet like he'd genuinely do anything for that he's just so amazing um but yeah I do think that's the exception I think what it is with like older people is they've been through more and also they probably learn lessons like if you if you're somebody that's younger you probably haven't

been in many relationships so you've never really had to have like you've never had to have been taught a lesson before whereas when you're older you've been through all these different relationships you might have been an idiot you might have someone might have treated you badly like you've just experienced more so I do think if you're older yeah there's just going to be a lot more maturity there and also as well when you're older you think well I need to get my life together I need to again I'm not saying everyone that's older is an angel because that isn't the case. But I just think, yeah, as a whole.

I completely agree with you. Like I'm trying to think, I was trying to think like in my immediate, like friends, do I have anybody who's dating with a really big age gap? And I actually don't. Like it's give or take a couple of years. But my mum and my dad had a massive age gap and I actually don't like it's give or take a couple of years but my mum and my dad had a massive age gap my not like my real dad my stepdad they were they were 21 years apart or 22 years apart which is like that's a lot but it worked for like I don't know how long we're together for I think 13 14 years it worked which is like so it like big age

gaps can work but like my mom she dated older but and so they didn't obviously you don't need to get into it it's your mom's relationship but they didn't end because of the age gap nothing to do with the age gap like literally nothing to do at all yeah like and i always just say to my mom like dad's a lot older and she was like yeah like I like an older man like he's mature and I was like yeah very mature he's like 20 plus I think it can definitely work once you're young I think it's when you start to get older and you then one of you wants a family I think that's where the age gap then becomes a problem but if you're somebody that's younger and wants I mean obviously the man could be so much younger but I'm talking from a girl being younger you know if you wanted a family young

then I don't really see why a big age gap then wouldn't work because normally that is the biggest problem is you're at different stages in your life like if a guy's 40 and a girl's 23 I don't know for an example like a huge age gap it's like at 40 he probably does want a family but then a lot of girls would have a family at 23 so if you wanted that I don't see why after that you you it seems like you'd always be on the same path yeah and you know what it's even weird because even with dating now like and this is what makes me feel more mature is those conversations actually have to happen when you're dating now. Like, do you want kids? Like, do you want to get married? Like, when would you

like kids? Because we're 24 this year and people, I mean, I know a lot of people have kids already and a lot of people want kids now, but in the next couple of years, people will start planning kids. You know, you have to have those conversations with a potential partner, because for me, like I, when I'm dating I'm dating to date someone that I want to be with and hopefully start a family with I'm not now 23 dating someone just to be with them for a year and then break up with them like I don't want that so it's like it's so weird that those are the important questions that you kind of do have to have a bit early on no it is it is yeah it's crazy because you don't have to even consider that

when you're young not like you like you, like, of course. Like if it happens, it happens. Yeah, of course you chuck around the question like, oh, do you want kids when you're older? Like, yeah, of course you would. But like now it's like, you know, if I was dating someone and they said to me they never want kids, they never want to get married. That would be a problem for me because I want that. So it's just a whole other like dating as you're getting older is just crazy. And that just brings a whole other thing dating as you're getting older it's just crazy and that

just brings a whole other thing into it yeah no definitely and i think it's like although you're still saying when you're older that older is a lot sooner um i think that's yeah i think that's the biggest thing is like what age is like a young parent i don't even know anymore like to me what a young parent is is different to what someone else thinks a young parent like that's without saying none of my immediate friends have had babies but like I know a couple people from school like some people in my school were pregnant when I was at school so they were like super young mom at like 16 17 but then like some people I see on Instagram are like 21 22 and they're a young mom so yeah I think it's completely different I think

some people and I was speaking to someone yesterday actually and they were like I just want to be a mom they're like that is all I want in life I just want to be a mom and I can't wait to have kids and I also in some ways do feel like that like I really I can't wait to have children and I can't wait to have that but I just know that that's not meant for me just yet I think I've still got a little bit more of me time to get out of my system um before I have kids and you know because your whole life changes but yeah I think the definition of like young mum nowadays is completely different yeah definitely let's go as the world's population grows so does the need for resources like potash to support sustainable food production.

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should we talk about emotional maturity then in um in the age groups because i think that is a big thing that is very different well i think this goes to exactly what we're saying men tend to mature at a slower rate than women like and it's literally proven yeah it really so i mean i think we've kind of covered that though in a way really like we both very very strongly agree with it yeah and i also just think that like it was at the point that you said you know if you're going to date an older guy they have probably had more experiences so therefore they have and life lessons and life lessons therefore they have learned how to treat a woman properly yeah which is to be respectful

and be respectful because you know they've they've learned their lesson and they've just they've seen things they've just they've grown up that is the main point they've grown up and for me now like dating i want to be with someone who is grown up and knows how to treat me with respect and that is everybody that is what everybody wants yeah absolutely and yeah I I just I just think that comes from I think obviously it comes from growing up but I mean I feel like we've covered it but I just do think it just comes from experience different things in life having life lessons knowing there's consequences like understanding all of those things just comes from age and just comes from life experience so a hundred percent yeah I think that just honestly

kind of covers that to be honest there's a quote here from Grazia magazine and it's about like a scientific reason as to why women are attracted to older men and it says in evolutionary terms professor fuguer i think says that for men it is simply about ensuring that a prospective partner is fertile while women consider the resources an older man might have such an income an older partner may be in a better position to provide stability it may also be more mature which a woman might prefer see my thing is I don't really care about the income and all that kind of stuff that's not ever why I'd want to date someone that's older personally I genuinely don't care for that I just want somebody that knows how to be respectful and that that just somebody somebody that can treat someone right and yeah be respectful I guess like

that's genuinely I think the only reason I would I completely understand about people you know wanting somebody that has a more a better income and I don't know a more reliable job and things like that I don't know maybe because I don't know maybe because of the and things like that. I don't know, maybe because, I don't know, maybe because of the job that we're in, like we do a lot for ourselves. Maybe that's why we're less bothered about that. But to me, that really doesn't define why I'd want to be with somebody that's older at all. Neither, like I love to be with someone who has aspirations.

I don't know, you are the exact same, like someone who is like working towards something is super positive about that. And I love but whether that I don't care how much money they get from that that has never been something that bothers me whether they want to be a superstar or they want to work in a coffee shop or they want to do any of that like as long as they're enjoying themselves and they're happy and they're giving the best they can to the relationship I don't money and income has never come into that but I but yeah I I guess that is what you're saying as well like because me and you have worked for ourselves for a really long time as well like from a very young

age so yeah that doesn't really bother us but I think it's just like I've learned as well those things aren't the things that make me happy. Like genuinely, like you can have all the success in the world, but I'm telling you now, it doesn't make you a happy person. And everyone will learn that. Like they just will. Like success really, success can make you happy to some sense. Like I have so many goals in life. And if I reach those goals, when I reach those goals, because we will say when, when I reach those goals when I reach those goals because we will say when when I reach those goals like of course they're going to make me happy but really the things that make me happy is having good people around me and also just be a good person myself and I think having a partner that you know you know is respectful and all of those other things is so much more important than

somebody that's successful in their job and also i would like much rather like you know yeah my partner can go and buy me thousands of pounds worth of stuff but if they're not respecting me and they're not giving me the love and the the key word here being respect this episode just should just be called respect if i'm not getting that then i don't care you can buy me whatever you want you can say whatever this it doesn't matter unless i feel like and how i should feel and be respected how i should be respected yeah a hundred percent preach i think that's a good note to end it on I think that's a great note to end it on we filmed an

episode on Tuesday um that was covering um why we love female friendships so much and why they're so important and really why they are the best kind of friendships so definitely go and check that one out um I don't know it's a very positive episode but i feel like we give our honest opinions on friendships guy friendships girl friendships i think it's definitely one worth watching one million percent and thank you all so much for listening to this episode as well key word to everyone who's listening to this respect that is what we want respect and mature men yeah absolutely right thank you so much for listening and we will see you on tuesday for another episode see you then bye