Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 69. How To Be A Girl Boss, Babe!

Episode Date: April 8, 2024

We’ve been wanting to do this episode for such a loooong time and it’s finally here! Today, we’re giving alllll of our top tips on how to be a bad ass girl boss in 2024... Because we think we’...ve learned a few things from working for ourselves over the years. Plus, we talk about what it’s really like to be an influencer (it’s not all glitz and glam!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 let's go hi guys and welcome back to another episode of sex lies and dm slides with me saffron barker and me anastasia kingsnorth so we are back for another week and back for another opportunity to deep dive into all things sex and relationships first of all hi babe how are you i'm good how are you i'm good i've been better i've not been very well the last few days i don't know if you can still hear it in my voice in my head i still sound a little bit like a man no you actually sound considering i couldn't speak to you yesterday because you had lost your voice that badly i can't believe how good you're sounding
Starting point is 00:00:39 guys it's these staff told me to get these vocal zone tablet thing they are the best and loving it not sure on this flavor though i have ordered another flavor to come today this one's a little bit yeah i wouldn't say they're nice no and it's making me gag a bit but it's bringing back the voice so i'm feeling a lot better although literally it feels like it's been one thing after another after another these last few days first of all lost my voice deathly ill hot sweat literally couldn't get out of bed then my hot water broke and I had no hot water so I couldn't get in the shower then I had no water at all they're not even cold water literally was turning the tap on nothing was coming out and then my washing machine's broken so oh babe so right now
Starting point is 00:01:22 it's not really thriving but the water's back on I'm gonna get a shower after this gonna wash my hair finally yeah well how's your dating life going um I mean it's going it's it's no it's going I mean the things obviously I've at the beginning of this year I was seeing that guy um which I ended for a few personal reasons of my own which Saf does already know don't think it would be very fair of me to share them online but um yeah he was lovely it just didn't work out between us um so then I was kind of back to the drawing board but honestly like the thought of going on a dating app just made me a bit like I don't really want to do this again like I'm tired so you're not on dating apps anymore I'm on them I'm still on them like I've always I've never really like come off of it but I'll just like go in and out
Starting point is 00:02:12 of checking it you know like I feel like I've seen the same boys on hinge about 10 times at this point so just kind of just leaving that and I'm in the mindset of like if something is gonna happen it will happen but um I did go for dinner a couple weeks ago with my ex-boyfriend which was a bit of a random one and how was that how did that go um and why why because I was so we've always been friends like I've always obviously everyone's always known that like we've never really lost contact because like the reason we broke up was for like no bad reason um and I like just really enjoy him like being in my life in like whatever aspect it is um and we both just had like reasons to celebrate so he was like should we go for a drink and I was like you know what why not I thought just why not let's go for a drink
Starting point is 00:03:02 I did do a bad thing. And I did lie about where I was to everyone, which I probably shouldn't have done because there was no reason for me to lie. I literally could have just said, yeah, I'm going out for a drink with said person. And no one could have said anything that was going to change my mind. Like I still would have gone, but I did lie to everyone. Okay. And what did they say? Well, I obviously had had to tell I didn't have to tell them actually I definitely could have got away with it but I just said to them like individually I was like oh yeah I went with thingy last night and they were like why and I was like that's the question everyone's asked me why and I'm like why like I don't know but I was very very very drunk very
Starting point is 00:03:42 do you like regret doing it or do you just feel fine no like yeah you went or no like I feel completely fine about it like I've seen him twice this year and like it's just been nice to to see him and like catch up and I don't know like yeah that I don't know what if anything is gonna come from it I don't. I think it's all a bit blurred lines, to be honest. Well, it didn't end badly. He didn't do anything wrong. He was a lovely guy. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:04:11 So I'm not doing anything wrong by going for a drink with him. No. Because we're just friends. But yeah, it was lovely. It was really nice. I just definitely shouldn't have lied about where I was.
Starting point is 00:04:21 I literally went to bed that night thinking, why have I done that? Like that was just so. Well, you didn't tell me. You that was just well you didn't tell me that I did tell Saf actually when I was there as well I was like you trusted me actually so do you know what I would take that as a um a big win that's a big win because you were the only person I told actually because when I was in the toilet that night I texted you and you're like you're not gonna believe you're up with I think because you just knew like who am I gonna tell like I yeah i just just i would never would i would never tell anyone then this could come across really wrong and i don't want it to come across really wrong to anybody else but like
Starting point is 00:04:54 you're like my safe person to tell anything to oh like i can like i can just say because i know you're not gonna tell anyone yeah do you know what i mean like I can just say and I'll just tell you and just be honest with you and you're just like okay slay and I'm like yeah that's what I needed okay slay cool like do you know what I mean like I just needed to get it off my chest and I told you I'm glad that's the relationship that we have I'm glad that you feel like that because I would like to think that all of my friends can feel like that I never really feel the need to tell someone something else I'm like someone's trusting me of something I'll just keep it to myself like you know so Slay I told you I was with my ex-boyfriend in a bar um and yeah it was like do not tell anyone I was like do not tell anyone I'm gonna tell everybody in 12
Starting point is 00:05:40 hours do not tell anyone um but yeah I think the reason I didn't tell anybody up here was because I didn't want anybody to talk me out of it because I was in my head i was like i'm gonna go but i was like i don't want other people's opinions to sway me into thinking maybe i shouldn't um and i'm glad i went it was lovely and yeah we i mean we still speak all the time anyway so who knows what's gonna happen guys you never know you never know you never know she's meant to be it will be exactly still very much a single girly but kind of enjoying that and kind of just slaying that right now like I'm really just just I feel like I'm just thriving like touch wood I mean apart from the lack of hot water and the sore throat
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Starting point is 00:06:58 Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Visit connectsontario.ca. Let's go i don't know if you saw emily ratajkowski but her divorce ring she basically got her engagement ring split into two separate rings for a divorce ring and i think that is a big fucking slay a big slay like yeah gobsmacked and like genuinely when i saw that i was in shock well he says i news described it as the peak of girl boss feminism and i was like yeah it really is because like you don't want to get rid of the ring it's expensive yeah it's expensive so yeah too right i love that and that is what kind of got us thinking today about we need to do an
Starting point is 00:07:52 episode on girl boss girl bosses and girl energy and feminine energy i'm really surprised we haven't done this sooner i'm not gonna lie because this is something we're both very passionate about me too um both being people that like a self-employed work for ourselves I feel like this is yeah we're very passionate about so I'm really surprised we haven't done this before so I guess like first question from one guy to another what is your top tips for being a girl boss there's so many tips and like with anything I think it's going to be super individual but I think for us especially like we you find your passion and then go with it you got to find something that you love so deeply and have such a yeah like a love for and you really want to do it and put your all
Starting point is 00:08:40 into it and go for it and for both of us like sitting in this position now that is exactly what we've done with YouTube and social media and everything like that and like to be honest 10 years ago if somebody had said you'll be in this position now I would have been like really like probably not but we've done it so I think that is like the number one tip like finding your passion and finding what you're passionate about and going with it like full force. Yeah, 100%. I actually saw, it was actually about a guy, it wasn't actually about a girl, but it was saying how like he brought out this fashion brand and I was literally watching it before this episode. He brought out this fashion brand and it failed and he thought to himself, know like I really feel like something could happen with this like I
Starting point is 00:09:29 genuinely do and he didn't give up and now it's so successful and everything else and he was saying that like you will never fail if you believe it's going to happen because you're always then on that journey it's like if you're on the journey even if you aren't at the point of success, you haven't failed because you're on the journey. And so I think it's like being passionate about something is the best thing that you can be. And also just like for both of us, I know that a lot of our success has come from self-belief like it has, because there's a lot of people that have doubted us our entire life still doubt us now that that won't change I think self-belief is like one of the most powerful things and I think when you're passionate about something you can put self-belief and passion together and so I think that is also
Starting point is 00:10:19 what creates success um and like yeah it's it sounds really cliche like it's not people probably might take this and think well now I still don't know what to do but you will know what to do you need to love what you're doing and you need to put in the effort and put in the work and that is how you will be successful I love hearing like female success stories so I can't actually remember her name now but I read the book a really long time ago and it was called Girlboss and it was about the girl who created Nasty Gal and they actually made a Netflix series on it based off of the book after that and it's I don't even know if it's still on Netflix I'm going to assume it will because they take things on and off all the time
Starting point is 00:10:59 but that's an amazing series to watch if you have like a real passion about something and a real drive and she started from nothing and it's the same with connor walker who owns house of cb like i just recently saw she did an article about how i mean house of cb is now worth like what 200 million i think and she started from a three thousand pound loan that she borrowed off of somebody and look at her now and I think she had her passion and she had her drive and her self-belief because believe me she would have had so many doubters just like we have and look at her now it just goes to show that like like you were saying with like the self-belief you really have to believe that you can do it and ignore everybody else's outsiders negative opinions yeah and I think you'll notice as well
Starting point is 00:11:46 all of these people that are successful have had consistency and again that comes from self-belief like if you believe you can do something you'll stay consistent to doing it and so I think that's also where it comes hand in hand um because like when people ask me like how do I become a youtuber the first thing I'll say is consistency me too I think you've got to have the self-belief to keep up with the consistency. It all goes hand in hand. But realistically, I think that what it does come down to is the self-belief.
Starting point is 00:12:14 It is. And the love and the passion. I mean, all of it together really, isn't it? Especially in the YouTube world and in this industry, a question, yeah, like you said, we do get asked a lot is how do you do it like how did you start and it genuinely is the constant uploading the consistency of making your presence known in the online space like if i didn't upload if i i know if i uploaded that once every three months or once every six months i'm not going to be achieving as much as i am now by uploading as
Starting point is 00:12:45 much as I am because I'm making my presence and I'm putting the work in because I want to because like yeah I can see that is genuinely it but it does come hand in hand with self-belief because I remember I found it really hard and almost like disheartening in the beginning when you're being so consistent but you're seeing no return and I think that that is so hard to get over when you're putting so much into something but you're not getting anything and I think that that is so hard to get over when you're putting so much into something but you're not getting anything out of it so you just really have to truly believe that if you stick at it you will but it's just getting getting over that almost like hurdle first 100% and I think one of my least favorite traits in a person I think it's horrible trait to have is being bitter and I think
Starting point is 00:13:27 a lot of people when they want something so badly but haven't got there yet end up becoming bitter that is one way to have a downfall like that won't make you any more successful I think it's like understanding that there's room for everyone as well like we can all make it to the top and I think becoming a bitter person doesn't make you a good person it's a really terrible trait to have like don't get me wrong there's a lot of people that screw me over in my life and at the time I've thought to myself like they don't deserve that success like people knew what they were actually like like blah blah blah and like as I've grown up I've just realized to myself like do you know what I believe so much in karma like
Starting point is 00:14:10 there's no point in being bitter because it's such a terrible trait to have I'm wasting my energy on somebody else like actually just focus on my own lane do what I love put the work in be consistent and I will get the reward in that way and so I think that's another thing to bear in mind as well because social media is so over oversaturated at the moment I think it's going to be oversaturated forever now but it's I think anyone that wants to go into social media it is really hard and it is so easy to be bitter because you know you might have been going at it for two years and then one person has one video overnight that blows it up and it's it is frustrating it is
Starting point is 00:14:50 hard I get why you'd be angry but it's just not a good trait to have and I think honestly just keep focusing on yourself and knowing that you will make it and you will I think my favorite thing out of what you just said it's like there's room for everyone and there really is and I think a lot of people like especially in our industry probably don't understand that there's billions of YouTube videos out there there's thousands of podcasts there's millions of tiktokers but there is room for every single person in this industry yes it is potentially harder to grow a platform now than it was maybe when we started because like you said the industry nowadays is insanely oversaturated and I think a lot of that is probably down to TikTok because like that wasn't a platform when we started we literally started on YouTube and then had Instagram as like our backup thing where it was
Starting point is 00:15:45 like now TikTok has seen like the rise to so many new people um and I think that is what's making it maybe slightly harder to keep a consistent career in the industry but I think yeah there's room for everyone and always remembering that and supporting everyone's wins as well like but like you said being bitter about someone what is the point like what is the actual point like it's a waste of your own energy yeah celebrate their success and then we'll celebrate ours when we get success and you just celebrate everybody like it's just a much healthier and happier mindset to be in it is it will make you a happier person genuinely you're only going to be upset and constantly annoyed at the world if you are being angry at everyone else's success
Starting point is 00:16:30 it's just a really and that are you that's going to reflect on yours because you're then not putting positive energy into your thing that you're doing exactly and that's it I just think don't waste your, I like the reason I say this, because I know a lot of people that like, have tried for many years, and then they're like, but they don't deserve it and blah, blah, blah. And it's like, I get that. And it's really shit. Like it is shit that has happened. But you but you are wasting your energy on being bitter and, and watching what they do. Like just focus on yourself and those things will come for you. And then you will put more effort into what you want to achieve and become. I feel like this has totally gone off top tips. I think this is just more my generic speaking, but I do just think like, I don't know, I think because I'm just
Starting point is 00:17:24 thinking about social media and I just know a lot of people that get really frustrated about the algorithm and how it works and it's not fair but it's life that's just what it is and the thing is you can't change it so what is the point of being bitter over it because it's happened so it's your choice how you react do I mean like you're being bitter you're upsetting yourself do you know I heard something the other day and it has stuck with me so much as well now I'm such a good person in manifesting and I have my entire life I've man I've been manifesting like I've manifested my life without even knowing what manifesting was when I was younger and I heard this thing the other day and I'm very much believing like law of attraction as well what you put into the universe will come out and blah
Starting point is 00:18:10 blah blah and how you know it's all such a powerful thing like it just is that you can speak into existence well someone said the other day in this interview they were like the person that's listening the universe is listening doesn't know the difference between complaining and manifesting because it's just what you put into the universe like so when you're complaining about things whoever's up there doesn't understand the difference between the complaining and the things that you want in life so stop complaining about things and just put into the into the universe what you want and all of the good things because then that the the universe doesn't understand the difference and I thought that's so true because like we all talk about manifesting and how like
Starting point is 00:18:59 put in what you want and it's like I'm gonna be successful I'm gonna be this but when you're complaining like I don't like this and I don't like that it's yeah I've never ever thought about it like that but that is a very true and interesting way to to look at it and to like perceive this like yeah I've never thought about that before because I feel like we're both very big on manifesting I love The Secret I think that's one of my favorite books I've ever read or if nobody if you don't like reading you can watch the Netflix documentary I think it's on Netflix and I think that is another key point in like the female girl boss thing like positive affirmations and saying instead of like oh I'm never gonna get this be like when I have this
Starting point is 00:19:42 or I've got this or you know speaking as though it's already happened is like such an incredible way I'm just visualizing things like I make a vision board at the end of every year for the following year where is it oh mine's still over there from the other year but I basically I write my affirmations underneath and then stick pictures on top so I know they're there but like and then I'm looking at visually the things that I would like and it sounds so silly because like some of them were so fucking far-fetched but then the majority of them happened without me even like I edited myself onto a billboard because I was like I really want to be on a billboard and then literally last year it was
Starting point is 00:20:21 insane what was going on I was like this actually mental. I can't believe I manifested that without even realising. So I'm not saying, you know, because it's not as easy as that sometimes. But it is because you believe it's going to happen. So therefore, how it works is you then put in the actions to make it happen because you believe it's going to happen. Yeah, I said, like we were saying, we set a clear goal and we set an achievable goal and we hit that goal I think that is another thing with you know being like a female girl boss
Starting point is 00:20:51 setting your goals and knowing what you want it's so important because then you've got something to work towards and when you don't have something to work towards you're always going to be all over the place like oh I don't really know what I'm doing what should I do say but when you know what you want every single day you can make take a step forward into hitting that goal I think it's all about that whole you know when they say like one percent better every day that's another thing that like I because listen we all make mistakes in life and Anastasia and I obviously we've grown up online and so there's definitely mistakes that we've made and people have called us out for numerous amount of times because we are literally human. But we learn from those mistakes.
Starting point is 00:21:30 And I think one of the biggest things I've learned growing up is just being 1% better every single day. And this goes throughout everything I do in life. Like if you show up and you're 1% better than you was the day before you will find success like you genuinely will and when you have a clear goal it's a lot easier to make that one percent happen and I think the point that you just said about us growing up online and you know we've made mistakes everybody growing up makes mistakes right but a lot of them aren't going to be publicized on YouTube for people to see whereas we have you know we've said things and we've done things whatever that is on the internet and people
Starting point is 00:22:11 are going to look at and fuck like yeah we shouldn't tell you but making mistakes is what you learn from and it's almost normal to make a mistake because if you didn't you're never going to learn um and i think that's that's another big thing in you know becoming like a girl boss and doing all that like it's okay to make mistakes it's okay to not be perfect all the time but as long as you learn from the mistakes and you surround yourself with positive people who make it a little bit easier um and accept that there's always going to be negative opinions because there always is you know you're never going to be able to please everyone I think that is something that we found most definitely in this job especially you cannot please everyone
Starting point is 00:22:55 there's no point even trying because it's not going to work but as long as you're pleasing yourself and you're making yourself happy then I think that is the main thing yeah it's hard because I've I woke up this morning to Anna and I've genuinely been like the best I've been in a very long time but I woke up this morning and I was so annoyed because there was this TikTok video that got surfaced around the whole TikTok again of me. And I looked at the comments and they were just so negative. And I thought like, I've said nothing wrong. I've done nothing wrong. But once again, everyone has just like, and I know I put myself on the internet. So I know anyone could comment on whatever they want
Starting point is 00:23:43 to say about me, but the comments were just so negative and I just thought to myself why am I actually allowing this to upset me because there's just some people and this isn't just me but just I'm talking about everyone like there's some people that will just dislike you because they want to dislike you. Like, it doesn't matter what you say or what you do. They just want to dislike you. And I think I'm really starting to learn that. Like there's, I'm really starting to learn that like, I'm never going to please everyone. Not everyone's like everyone's, I'm not never going to get everyone to like me. That's not going to happen. Like there's some people that just want to dislike me. It doesn't matter what I do. They just want to dislike me. And I'm not saying this like, oh, cry, feel sorry for Saffron. I mean, this is my personal
Starting point is 00:24:34 experience, but the same goes with Anna. The same goes with all of you that are listening right now. Like people will just, will just want to dislike you. Like you will never please everyone. And so I think it's like learning to come to terms with that. And as long as you like yourself, as long as the people around you know that you're a good person, you believe that you're a good person, then I think that is genuinely what is most important in life. A hundred percent. Like I couldn't agree more.
Starting point is 00:25:01 I think literally on the TikTok thing, like you said said you had that one a couple well about a week ago i had one go around everywhere because i did a dating show where i was being told what to say to people and this tiktoker had purposely cut it so it looked worse than what it was and obviously all the comments didn't know what the clip was from or whatever it hit some weird algorithm. And I was reading and thinking, fucking hell, these are disgusting. But it's almost like a trend nowadays just to try and get the top comment in the TikTok comment section.
Starting point is 00:25:35 People forget that that is actually about a person. Like there's a real person reading those comments who that is about. And when they're writing those comments, they probably don't think that. They're just like, oh, I want to try and get 5 000 likes blah blah I'm gonna get top comments they'll try and think of something that they know people are gonna like and I'm like that is such a toxic mindset and that is why I have such a love-hate relationship with TikTok because sometimes I always see like I almost see something I'm like that's gonna end up on TikTok I know it that's gonna go out I know it I know it's like for me it's definitely I've said this I've been vocal about this so many times with by far my least
Starting point is 00:26:09 favorite platform because because of the comment section because it is it is like who can get the most amount of likes whereas like Instagram and like I know I do it as well when I go down TikTok I look at the comment section like that is what I do when I watch TikTok video. If I watch a YouTube video, I don't look at the comment section. I look at someone's Instagram picture. I don't look at the comment section. The only platform we do that on is TikTok. And don't get me wrong. Sometimes the comments are funnier than the video itself. Like if it's a funny video, but yeah, it just is unfortunately such a negative platform. And again, I think it just goes to people one not realizing that it's actually a human behind the screen and two I think you know people
Starting point is 00:26:53 are just going to dislike you whatever because they want to and you've just got to learn to accept that yeah really weirdly Saf and I were having this conversation this morning before we recorded the podcast but it's always the same people and this goes for like anyone who is in this industry or in any industry and is experiencing negativity like is always the same people who are commenting hate that like if God forbid something bad would happen they would be the ones preaching be kind and really they don't mean any of what they comment they could put that negative energy into something positive in their life and it is a reflection on them like but it's just really hard to understand that when like you're in the firing line and like you're the one that the TikTok's
Starting point is 00:27:36 being made about because it's just like oh another thing and also like we were saying it's embarrassing because we don't know who's seeing that TikTok we don't know whose view page that is landing on I don't want people to see that i don't want people to read the comments about it yeah it's hard it is exactly what you just said in the sense of i don't think the people that are commenting actually realize what they're commenting because they are the same people that like be kind and you know what they probably aren't even saying that because they're like oh shit i said this they're probably saying that because they probably actually believe they're a really kind person because they probably don't actually realize that their comments, that person's going to see it.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Like they're a human being, but they just think because you have lots of followers or because it's online, it doesn't mean anything. They probably wouldn't say it to your face. No, they wouldn't. They wouldn't say it to your face. They definitely wouldn't. But they'll happily write it online because they don't realize
Starting point is 00:28:22 the impact that it has. Like even you just tagging a friend, you don't realize the impact that that actually has. Like actually think if it was the other way around and you saw this video of yourself and then you saw people tagging their friends and writing things like it would make you feel like shit. So. I just, it's just so frustrating. Like we'll never, ever, ever ever win we'll never win in this sense like I don't think us saying this will actually make I don't know maybe it'll make one person think differently I hope so I feel like we've we've tried to say it so many times and I like
Starting point is 00:28:56 every time it comes out my mouth I just think this is still gonna happen but like you said at least if if this even gets to one person and they think, oh, actually, maybe I shouldn't. It's a little bit of a change. But it's even like it's even like crazy. We're going slightly off topic here. We will go back to being a girl boss slay in a second. But it's even being like I've I don't know if you've experienced this. I'm pretty sure you probably have.
Starting point is 00:29:17 I feel like everyone in the industry has. But sometimes people come up to me and they're like, I didn't expect you to be nice. I thought you're going to be a bitch. Yeah. And I'm like, why? Like, why would you think that? And they're like, didn't expect you to be nice I thought you're going to be a bitch yeah and I'm like why like like why would you think that and they're like oh because you're an influencer and it's the misconceptions as well in the industry of like people just paint you under the same brush and assume you're the same as everybody else because I think it's also when you're trying to be like a female girl boss ignoring all these other opinions and knowing yourself and knowing yourself and
Starting point is 00:29:45 knowing who you are because we're all individuals we're all completely different yes we're all i hate the word influencers and yes we all do that for a living but we can't all be painted under the same brush as everybody else no and i think this this isn't anastasia and i feeling sorry for ourself in any way by the way but stereotypically we don't have it like influencers don't have a good name for themselves and I kind of get it like I kind of do get it but yeah it is hard when you are all painted under the same brush especially because like you go into I don't know an office job or hey you don't paint everyone who works in an office exactly the same so like why is it with influencers that everyone's painted the same I don't know it is just I think
Starting point is 00:30:30 it's just a crazy misconception of people and people like like we said about hate people love to jump on the bandwagon once they see something that a couple of people are talking about or hyping on they're like right that's it here's my five minutes of fame now I'm gonna try and get top comment but you know what makes me feel better is i would never do that i would never think like that and that makes me think that you know what there's a lot of people that wouldn't think like that and there's a lot of people that wouldn't do that so to the people that are i think that goes down to their own insecurities like it does because you have to say that to make yourself feel better about yourself it is if you bring down someone else to make yourself feel better if someone is spending their free time commenting
Starting point is 00:31:08 on somebody else's life in a negative way then i feel very sorry for you because i would never genuinely i actually do yeah because i wouldn't do that i have a lot better things to do with my time than commentate on somebody's life and try and bring them down yeah so again it goes back to bitterness it's the worst trait you could have it is and i have no problem saying that well with saying that i think everybody who has done that and you know me and staff have experienced it a lot through the years i feel sorry for you and it's a very sad trait to have um it's not very female girl boss slave you is it Let's go. Essential resources responsibly produced. This is what BHP has committed to Canada. The future is clear. It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company.
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Starting point is 00:32:38 That's the powerful backing of American Express. Learn more at amex.ca slash why amex. Terms apply. Let's go. Okay, so what advice would you give to someone who is thinking of changing their career and wanting to become their own boss? I say well first of all I'd say go for it because what have you got to lose I think if you're unhappy in what you're doing then a risk is better than being unhappy and without risk there's no reward if it was easy everyone would be doing it it's as simple as that like I want to go into a new career and I know it's not easy it's really
Starting point is 00:33:25 freaking hard but at the end of the day I'm like what have I actually got to lose like what have I got to lose like I don't know unless I try and so I think it's just like having the mindset of and yeah I think it is just understanding that if it was easy everyone would do it you know so I say go for it like try it see what it's like give it your best shot again self-belief is your best friend honestly like I know this is gonna sound pretty stupid but ultimately we live on a floating rock right you can do whatever you want to do like I sometimes actually sit and think to myself like like we always have this conversation with friends the other night we were like there's a rock in the sky that lights up we live on a rock like there's so many people in this world ultimately just do what you want to do like I've lived so much of my life being like scared of what
Starting point is 00:34:24 to say like scared of what to do I don't want to do that just've lived so much of my life being like scared of what to say like scared of what to do I don't want to do that just in case I upset this person or I don't want to do that yeah just scared but I think there's always something really positive on the other side of fear and when you get over that fear you're only there's only going to be positivity it's not going to be worse you've done it you've completed it and like you just got to think what could happen yeah okay it might not work out the first time you might have to go back to another job and rethink everything and try again but the point is you're trying and you're conquering the fears and I think you gotta think what if something good does happen from it what if you become like the best version of yourself your own boss and you do it you're never going to know unless you try and
Starting point is 00:35:06 you're only going to kick yourself for sitting there thinking or what if no one wants to go no one wants to sit there at 80 years old and think what if I'd done that so just do it whilst you can I have a lot of fears in life like there's a lot of things that to go into this new career that I want to go into I'm terrified of doing but I either take the risk and I conquer my fears and do it and then the worst thing that can happen is it isn't successful and or I might be a bit embarrassed or whatever but at the end of the day I if I didn't try I would always have that doubt of like but what if yeah what if I did try you're always you're always going to regret it if you don't try and and you're clearly not happy in in the way that
Starting point is 00:35:50 you are now so just go for it like genuinely just go for it exactly I think like I was really nervous when I decided that I wanted to write a book because lots of youtubers have done books you know everyone knows and I was i was expecting the response of oh it's just another youtuber book she didn't write it herself all this stuff and i was like you know what i'm gonna prove every single person wrong and i wrote the book myself i'm so fucking proud of it i don't know how it's not out yet so hopefully everyone loves it but like I was so nervous because that was an like a whole other avenue that I'd not been down you know like I'm not afraid to I left school at 16 like I you know I did pretty well at school but so as I went to
Starting point is 00:36:36 uni and did literature and then become an author from that but I think you never like unless you try you're never gonna know and now I found a whole new aspect of something that I love doing and if I get the opportunity I would love to write another one so I think like it's just getting past that fear and finding something new that you enjoy like the risk always pays off the majority of the time so yes I think just exactly if you're going to take anything from this just do it because you're only going to regret it. Nike said it first. Nike said it first. Just do it.
Starting point is 00:37:07 You don't want to live in regret at 80 years old. You don't want to think, what if? You want to think, oh, when I did that, that was pretty fucking cool. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly that. Let's go. Upper Canada College inspires boys from senior kindergarten to year 12
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Starting point is 00:39:07 effort like it is gonna be hard so I absolutely think you should put yourself first I absolutely think you should take time for yourself I think you should prioritize life and balance because that is what will make you happy but you can't be in a snail girl era and then expect the results of being this amazing girl boss it's probably healthier to have the snail girl approach in fact it is healthier to have the snail girl approach but if you want results other people aren't getting you're gonna have to put in more work than other people like it literally is as simple as it is true I know that when I was younger like I sacrificed a lot of friendships because I was always working and always wanted that because I
Starting point is 00:39:45 wanted it so badly that I would turn down seeing people and I lost those friendships in the end which is like do I regret that it's hard isn't it because like no because I wouldn't be where I am if I didn't do that but then also I guess if they were meant to be in my life they would have stuck around and supported my decisions. So yeah, it's, I think you have to, like Saf was saying, it's not the healthiest mindset to be in. But if you want something so bad,
Starting point is 00:40:13 of course, like if you want something, you're still going to prioritize yourself, like your self-love and everything like that. But sometimes some other things do have to give in order to get where you want to be. But again, it doesn't sound it doesn't sound I just feel like sometimes as well there's too many labels or like certain approaches like you know I don't even think there needs to be a label on it like yes you should prioritize your self-love your health and you should have balance but at the same time if you want to be this girl boss that has these amazing results, then you need to, you just need to work hard.
Starting point is 00:40:49 Like it literally is as simple as that. No, I agree. If I woke up one day and thought to myself, I want a chill day today. I just need to sit and eat some food and watch a movie. I wouldn't think I'm going to be in my snail girl era today. I'm back to girl boss era tomorrow. Like I wouldn't think like that. No, no. And it's not saying you
Starting point is 00:41:07 don't do that and you're not successful like yes you you are successful and you do have days that you just chill and whatever else but there's definitely days where you've wanted to chill that you haven't and I'm not saying that's healthy in any way but I'm just saying you do have to give up certain things to get to get the rewards because like I said if it was easy everyone be doing it yeah a hundred percent you have to make sacrifices where they need to be made in order to achieve certain things and I think I mean that's a nice way to end it on overall I think like I personally am really proud of both you and me that how far that we've gotten in our lives and you know at 23 years old I think we've done incredibly for ourself and I don't think it's a bad thing in admitting that we've
Starting point is 00:41:48 done well like I'm proud of us and I'm proud of what we've had to go through to be able to get to where we are and I think it's brushed over a lot and people like oh your job is easy and I'm not saying it's the hardest job in the world I'm not saying that but you know there is a lot of behind the scenes hurdles that people have to go through and a lot of mental barriers that you have to get over to be able to do this so overall I'm very proud of us I'm proud of where we are proud of this little podcast that we've got going everyone listening to us um and it's a nice little family that we've got that we've got going on here and you can do it everyone listening to this can do it yeah a hundred there's room for all of us there's room for every single person that is such a cute way to end it um thank you so much everyone for listening to this episode
Starting point is 00:42:32 hopefully we didn't bring too much of a negative spin on it i'm hoping we didn't i'm hoping they enjoy listening to it though i think i'd find it quite interesting so i hope you guys do as well yeah maybe it's just anna and i ranting I'm not sure maybe we needed that release yeah exactly um but thank you so much for listening and we shall see you on Thursday's episode bye everyone bye you

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