Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 75. Can You Ever be FRIENDS with an EX?

Episode Date: April 29, 2024

Since we both met up with our exes recently (just as friends), we thought we would discuss all things break ups and exes. Like can you actually be friends with an ex? Would you ever let one of your friends date your ex? Plus, you sent us some crazyyy break up stories Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

let's go hey everyone welcome back to another episode of sex lies and dm slides with me anastasia kingsnorth and me saffron barker so we are back for another week and back for another opportunity to deep dive into all things sex and relationships so how have you been been good i still feel like i was getting over the jet lag for like this whole entire week like it was hitting me at the most random times where i just fall asleep at like 2 p.m in the afternoon and i was like how is this still happening to me yeah everyone i've spoken to on the trip is like i swear jet lag was meant to work the other way around because

i was up from like 2 a.m to like 18 i was gonna say that you were waking up so early for the first two days we got back I woke up at 1pm and that is not like me like it was but that's how direct lag is supposed to work I got a jump scare when I looked at my phone and it said 1pm I was like how have I slept for this long but I feel like I've like kind of no I hadn't before then so I was like how have I done this but I feel like I've touch wood got over it now but how have you been because you've not been very well yeah my throat is actually still hurting a bit more than I thought it would be but here we are still surviving just coping yeah everybody on the trip I feel like has had the same thing so I feel like I must have got it from when we was away but I mean who knows I'm hoping it's not something that's going around here um yeah hopefully you don't get it hopefully

you've passed that I'm really hoping because once I have a cold as we all know from this podcast I lose my voice it goes you do a week and I always get laryngitis and I just cannot be bothered to have that again because it's the worst thing. So fingers crossed. It's going to be a good week. We're going to power through our illnesses. You're going to get that vitamin C. I'm back on the vitamin C. Yeah, you know, we're going to get those Baroccas in.

I need to start taking like multivitamins. That's what I need to do. Like a vitamin, like the little tablet ones. Yeah, to be fair, I go through stages where I'm like, I start taking all of my vitamins, but there's so many to's so many to take well yeah to be fair you can just take one multivitamin and then it's got everything in it babe i went to that stage again you know that box that everybody has like monday to sunday and but they put no i have that yeah i had it and i just gave up after wednesday so i've just i need to get back into it yeah i did the same thing but it's actually we

should we should take vitamins like i don't eat any fish so like omega-3 is what i need to be taking it's so good for your skin and for your hair i was gonna say it's really good for your hair yeah do you know what i've woken up this morning and i've been like it's the first day i feel like i can actually survive the world although i don't really feel like i love that i think think I got off about 20 minutes ago, but it's the first day that I've woken up in a week and felt okay. So I thought, that's good onwards with, with it's all things health.

It's getting back into track. Yeah. It's track on track. Oh yeah. Getting back on track. Anyway, still very tired. Our healthy lifestyle begins today right now today

this morning right now you heard it here first no it's the fact that when we were coming back from LA we were saying to each other on the plane back like have you done your to-do list like are you ready to like thrive when we get home I got home and I was so unwell and I thought well all that's gone out the pan yeah I started to tick things off and then you know when you just you just get carried away doing other things ended up going out you yeah you were going out like the day after you got back I was like what the hell yeah I don't know don't know what possessed me to do that I got in at like half three in the morning so it's just that was a weekday as well wouldn't recommend but now it gets back from a holiday

and goes on a night out this girl apparently this girl apparently but no more of that guys for a couple of weeks whole single weeks now we're gonna get back into the gym we could be eating good we've got this all of you that are listening we're ready to thrive yeah next week we'll come back i'll be like babe i've not even done it no i am doing it i'm doing it yeah i'm going to the gym after this i'm doing it i'm expecting next tuesday to get i made it all the way back to another tuesday i took all my vitamins oh you know what i'll fill up my little pot after this podcast and i promise you i will have every single one up until next tuesday We're going to do it. Perfect. And to top it all off, quick and secure withdrawals. Get more with real-time notifications. Or have out more ways to customize your casino page with our new favorite and recently played games tabs. And to top it all off, quick and secure withdrawals.

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let's go Saf and I did in fact meet up with our exes as friends literally nothing more than friends before anybody gets that twisted um and we were feeling inspired by Ariana's new song we can't be friends and we got thinking about all things like breakups and exes and whether you can actually just be friends with an ex and whether you can have a healthy breakup so we actually asked you guys to send in your worst breakup stories or like craziest way like you know somebody has been broken up with um or how you've broken up with someone and we're going to go through them and some of these are wild so i'm excited can i just can i just really quickly um ask you a question do you think so obviously with you

meeting up with your ex do you think that it is possible to just be friends then so your answer is yes my answer is yes but like it's really hard because my answer wouldn't be yes like straight after the breakup I don't think you can literally go from like being in a relationship with someone the next to the next day just being friends and just being friends. Like I feel like if you can do that, then you probably weren't in love with them because you can't just like switch those feelings off overnight. But like once you've like been able to have time away, maybe like fall out of love with that person, maybe you genuinely were just better off as friends. I feel like then it can be possible but then some people would disagree with me some people generally would say well you never loved

him then so i felt like what no yeah babe the amount like honestly the amount of times i've heard people say like if you can be friends with the next you were never in love with them i'm like i personally think that's ridiculous because you can fall out i think i i genuinely think that's ridiculous i think you can definitely fall out of love with somebody. I genuinely think that's ridiculous. I think you can definitely fall out of love with someone, especially if you have a relationship when you was much younger. It could be like five years on. Like, of course you can grow out of love with somebody. Like, that's such a good, you know, that's like a, yeah.

Like, I definitely disagree with that 100%. Obviously, I met up with Tyler. I was with him, I don't even know, two and a half years ago three years ago like years and years ago so I don't think I would have been able to have met with him six months after our breakup but also as well the only other thing is is we ended as friends like we there was never like anything bad that happened in our relationship with me and him. So I think that's why. Whereas like other exes,

I would never go and meet because well, one, I really wouldn't want to be their friend. And two, we wouldn't be friends because it didn't end on good terms at all. And you're right. That is exactly the difference like with me and my ex.

We ended to be like as friends, like we were always really good friends from it I think we just yeah that's how it was but then I've had other people where like I wouldn't ever want to speak to you ever again because you didn't treat me very nice so I think it just depends on like how the relationship ends how you were treated there's those like factors that come into it as to whether you can actually be friends or not but yeah I don't agree with the whole like you were never in love with them because I think that's you can't say that for every single person who has managed to stay friends with someone like after a breakup I think

that should like that's a nice thing technically that like you were able to still leave some like have something from that relationship yeah the one thing I would say is you have to not be in love with them though to be friends because like if like any part of you even feels like remotely like little feelings i don't think a friendship is ever gonna work i think that would be hard if like one of you only felt those things because like that one person's always gonna hope for something more but then the other person's gonna be like completely over it so then it's never actually never is a friendship on that person's side who has like that little bit of feeling there so yeah i agree with you like to be friends i feel like you literally just have to

be completely like over each other in that sense yeah i agree i definitely agree okay right should we move on then to these yes so these are stories right that people have said people been dumped by yeah very short brief like little ones okay first yeah so got dumped over facebook he blocked me once he'd seen i had a glow up then reached out to me and tried to ask me out again i said no he cried and i blocked him see this is the thing with guys is they always do it when it's too late but also i think they do it to try and fuck with you a little bit do you know what i mean like some guys will do it just to kind of like keep their place and so like you don't forget about them i know what you're

saying yeah but i um do you know what I think it is with guys? I feel like I've said this so many times on the podcast, but everyone wants what they can't have. And for a guy, I think it takes them longer to realize what they've lost. Like it definitely does. Like it's like, you could like, I don't know where, but somewhere it's proven

that it takes longer for a guy to realize, okay? And I genuinely think that they think like I think yeah later on down the line I think fuck what have I done when they see someone have a glow up but again it's because they can't have it anymore yeah and it's I yeah I agree with you I think some guys will realize I think there's like two different types of guys some guys will realize it straight away and they'll try and heal from the breakup and they'll be like oh my god what have i done but then some guys will generally realize it like months after oh see i think guys always realize it after really oh see no i don't think i do think some guys i've spoken to some guys who've like split up with their girlfriends and they are like absolutely devastated for months after like for like literally from the day up

with them that early on i'm surely they can get them back but the girl could have cheated oh right like if the girl i thought i thought we were talking about guys that had left or like screwed the girl oh oh if the okay if the guy screws the girl over then yeah it will be months after but like if the girl does if the girl's done something or like they got broken up with i think it then hits them or might hit them a bit sooner i think that would hit anyone because you're yeah like you're in shock yeah i definitely agree with that for sure but this girl so he blocked her once he'd seen that she had a glow up that post-breakup glow up that everyone fucking loves it's true a true thing, though. I do think you glow differently when you come out of a relationship.

It is a true thing. And I love it. It's a lovely little glow. But good on you for saying no. Yeah, too right. Do not go back. I'm telling you now, I always think as well, if somebody screws you over, you should never go back

because they will just do it again and again. I've always been someone that's like everyone deserves one second chance. And I think after things I've gone through recently, I've actually thought, why am I even letting people have second chances? That's just not even a thing in my life anymore. I'm not even doing that anymore. Good for you because they always say that they say that second chance is not third but once you give somebody so many like if you once you've given so many second chances out to different people yeah you kind of just get to the point where it's like actually you shouldn't have done it in the first place yeah because you know you wouldn't have done it yourself so why why are we even giving second

chances I don't know maybe I'm gonna I think I'm gonna be so much more cutthroat but like you genuinely like in the future I think I've I't know, maybe been too soft and now I'm not going to be like that anymore. Yeah, but as you should be. I like this new adapted, like, bad bitch attitude towards relationships. I'm enjoying it. Thanks. But this girl, who, first of all, baby, like, the fact he dumped you over Facebook, I think, says a lot.

So, actually, I'm glad that you blocked him and I'm glad that he cried I'm sorry about on somebody dumping you over Facebook yeah that's giving very much like 2016 like we're 16 years old in the nicest way I'm sorry to everyone that uses it I didn't think anyone was using Facebook anymore see I don't have Facebook anymore mine got deleted but part of me so wished I still had it just so I can stalk everybody who like lived in my town yeah I know of Facebook anymore see I don't have Facebook anymore mine got deleted but part of me so wished I still had it just so I can stalk everybody who like lived in my town yeah I know like everyone from school and stuff has Facebook still yeah like Tanisha the other day sent me someone from my year who got married and I went didn't even know she was engaged and she's got a

full-blown wedding and I was like oh my god I wish I still had Facebook just to be able to see all this stuff so people are really using Facebook that much people are still using Facebook maybe we should get back on Facebook maybe well anyways let me tell you something you have not lost anything by someone that actually dumps you over Facebook like that is so embarrassing on their behalf that is like if I was him I would be embarrassed same that is so embarrassing on their behalf. That is their loss. Like if I was him, I would be embarrassed. Same. That is their loss. I would be so embarrassed.

Such is loss. Like, I mean, come on, at least FaceTime you. Jesus Christ. I know. The fact that I have a Facebook messenger, not even text, Facebook messenger. That's like breaking up with someone over Instagram DM. That is literally like primary school. Yeah. Because actually you may as well say yeah i mean yeah anyways you've

not missed out on anything so it really happened okay the next one is i broke up with my boyfriend and he said no you are my girlfriend red flag This sounds too close to home. Yeah. And this is the most manipulative thing. I don't understand when people do this. I've seen a couple of relationships where they've just been refused to be broken up with. And I'm like, how?

If you've been broken up with, that is it. You can't just decide, be like, no, I'm not. No, you've not broken up with me. That's a delusional universe that you're living in and enjoy it but it's not real it's like a few times i've actually seen people have arguments and like when people have like broken up and stuff and like i've and it's funny actually i was watching a movie the other day and they did it in the movie and i and honestly the first thing that went it was when we was watching Clueless. It's in Clueless, right?

Right. And, oh, you wasn't watching Clueless. I wasn't there. I'm thinking I didn't watch Clueless. But I've seen Clueless. You've seen Clueless. I've seen it. So the guy that she really fancies,

or was with or whatever, they split up. And she's like, but you love me. And he's like, no, I don't. and she's like but you love me and he's like no I don't and she's like yeah you do and immediately I thought to myself oh my god red flag and it's like she was telling him how he feels and he's like no I don't and she's like yeah you do and I was thinking that's such a red flag but I think that's the same as like this situation. It's like, you can't tell someone how they feel or change someone's actions. You can't tell someone. As if it hasn't happened.

You can't say you are my girlfriend. If you've just been broken up with, like you can't do that. So I'm enjoying the red flag emoji that the person put with this. Cause I'm glad that we know this is a big red flag. None of that around here. Okay. The the next one i got dumped over text at reading festival oh my god surely not definitely had one too many alcoholic drinks and then i'm just trying to work out my head like were you both at reading and separate parts or were you

just at reading and he texted you saying i thought that he was at reading that's what i mean i feel like there's three different ways this could be taken but either way over text is it like who is actually dumping people over text genuinely i just think like if you have some respect for that person and you can do it in person just do it in person yeah like it is hard because i know a lot of people don't live together and there's like long distance relationships but come on just facetime them yeah yeah of course you've got those different things but like if they lived in the same country which i'm going to assume they did like one of them was just away at reading festival like they could have potentially just waited a few days and just had the conversation yeah even on facetime and also like at redding

really yeah like was the guy if the guy was at redding and he broke up with you it just made me think like what was he doing at redding festival to suddenly break up with me yeah see that's the way that i initially took it yeah i think i would assume either way they're all bad yeah either all three different versions of that is not great so i'm very very very sorry that happened to you his mum told him to break up with me because he didn't like the look of the town i lived in sorry what i tell you what parents are getting way too involved in people's relationships is what i've decided i'm gonna strongly agree on that one with you like i'm really close to my family

really close but my family will always be fair and they'll never like get involved in something they don't need to get involved in yes because you know what i mean like it's your relationship like obviously like you said they get involved when they need to get involved in yes because you know what i mean like it's your relationship like obviously like you said they get involved when they need to get involved not because they just like want to have their like two pence in everything i don't think my mom would say to me ever oh i don't like the town he lives in south i'm telling you now that would never come out of my mom's mouth like it would genuinely never come out of my mom's mouth neither and also like sometimes you can't really help maybe where you live or where you've been

born into. That's like, you can't really change that. No. So I feel like that's just very judgmental if I'm being completely honest. Yeah. It's really judgmental and an awful reason to break up with someone. Yeah.

Like how is that even justifiable? That to me is just looking for an excuse. But the it's come from his mom is crazy yeah what on earth td and your small business go together like... TD's Small Business Account Managers have in-depth business banking expertise so they can give you the advice and resources you need to make your day-to-day easier. So if you're ready to meet your small business match, we're ready for you.

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It's happening now at BHP, a future resources company. To discover how, visit bhp.com slash better future. Let's go this was awful i don't even know why i'm laughing but it's just the way that it's worded he told me it was a free trial and he didn't want to commit to the subscription sorry what no your relationship was a free trial but he didn't enjoy the free trial

doesn't want to subscribe why on earth would you want a breakup actually no i need to see if i need to put a face to this person because yeah who does this guy actually think he is who is saying that to break up with someone first of all how long were you together i'm going to assume it might not be long if he's like describing it as a free trial a free trial oh my god i'd be i'd be fuming i'd be absolutely fuming i turn around surely not i would say that are you having a lot like are you trying to make me laugh like are you having a laugh or is this dead serious because that doesn't sound like a serious sentence no i'll just be like surely that hasn't actually just come out of someone's mouth no like

surely you're just trying to put a comedic spin on the breakup like you're not actually being serious oh my god that's so bad well i'm so sorry that he didn't want to commit to the subscription in his words that is crazy tell him your subscription was he couldn't afford it anyways exactly girl that's exactly what you're gonna tell him told me he wanted to end things because he liked my best friend better that hurt i mean that would be awful with situations like that i just can't ever fathom it because i feel like i would question the whole relationship then as to like whether he actually liked me or whether he liked the like her best friend the whole entire time and surely as well for him to end it like that surely the best friend and him have to get together this is what i was going to

say is the best friend aware of this or like is she completely oblivious because like part of me just doesn't believe that you would be completely i don't know i don't think i don't think someone would say that if they didn't think they could end up with the best friend yeah like surely you're not saying that because if you're breaking up with them then you're obviously hoping that you're going to be with the other person yeah so i feel like the best friend and him must have something going on or like i don't know but yeah i mean that that would honestly kill you wouldn't it situations like that i feel like i just can't get my head around as well because i feel like we've heard a lot of them on the podcast that people have sent in where like this has happened but like i think that it's

horrible because it's like a double whammy of like you're losing your boyfriend but you're also losing your best friend and like your best right you could have been best friends with that person for years and years and years and like a friendship breakup like we've spoken about this as well but like it's just as hard if not harder long term than a breakup because you're going to miss that person forever so I'm so sorry but that is just absolutely awful and like my heart goes out to anybody who that's happened to because I just can't even imagine it no I mean I also just couldn't imagine being a friend that would like ever do that to their friend like that's just crazy isn't it

I think it's just like girl code is just off limits like if your best friend likes someone then immediately it's a no from you like that like that just should that should be how it is yeah 100% this kind of going off topic a little bit okay but that like reminds me of like um so some friends that I've had in the past, or maybe not like people I've been with, but like say a guy has messaged me and they message Anna. I am then not interested. Yes. Because I'm like, they, if they fancy all of my friends, why would I want to be with

them? We had this conversation at Coachella, didn't we? Cause there was a guy that we both matched with on Raya and immediately I was just like oh no no no absolutely not yeah it's like but I know some people that genuinely it wouldn't bother them and I find that really crazy like I know it's maybe just a message and you don't know someone until you actually get to know them but for me I just find it so bizarre because I just wouldn't want to be with anyone that like my boyfriend fancy like I just like that no sorry I wouldn't want to be of anyone that fancy all of my friends I just think it's really strange and I find it

really strange that other people like that wouldn't bother other people I think it would bother me way more if they like messaged before if it was just like a simple swipe on a dating app i feel like i'd have to get over it because like a lot of my friends up here we're all on hinge and we've all been matched or swiped by like all the same guys because in the end you just come across all the same people that is like pretty impossible not to but like if say like freya i'd had like a full-blown conversation like really got to know this guy maybe he was supposed to be seeing him and then he matched me I'd be like absolutely not yeah okay fair enough I guess that's a bit different like you say you're in the same area

yeah I get that I think an example is like I was speaking this was but to be fair this was like years ago but I was messaging this guy, but like quite a lot. And then the other day, my friend throws in this manner that she's going on a date with him. And I genuinely don't care, by the way. Like absolutely go on a date with this guy. But I thought to myself, it's really funny because if I knew that, I wouldn't be able to. Maybe that's like more of a, I don't know. I just thought that was like a common thing.

Like I just, for me, yeah, I just don't know i just thought that was like a common thing like i just for me yeah i just don't think i would have wanted to knowing that he'd messaged my friend not that by the way i have any feelings towards this person or care at all like it literally means nothing so obviously that's the way that she sees it like oh it means nothing but because i know she'd never do anything like you know if i actually really liked someone and I was seeing them or whatever, I know she would never do it. But from her point of view, it was, oh, it meant nothing, which it literally does mean nothing.

But for me, if a guy that you even messaged two years ago, I'll think, oh, no, I don't want to go there. I think I just think as well, like, say if like something happened with that guy and then you were introduced to him and you saw him in person and knowing that like he fancied my friend,'d be a bit like that's what i mean that's why i don't think i could do it for that reason yes i agree i agree with you there like that's why i thought it was really surprising that it wouldn't bother her knowing that he obviously fancies me as well as her you know yes yeah 100 and i could yeah i completely agree with that

like i said a bit weird with dating apps up here because like you're always gonna match the same people but like if anything goes further than that then it'd always be a bit like oh i'm not too sure that's like territory that i just wouldn't cross yeah um okay next one he came over for a quickie then left and send a text saying he didn't want to see me again yeah that's actually just vile there's like nothing else you can say to that so yeah it's vile that is disgusting behavior from him like the front like oh the way word is i'll come around for a quickie and then send the text like no no that is like so gross in every way and if i was in your situation I'd feel so

I don't know like I think you'd feel like I think I'd feel disrespected yeah you'd feel so disrespected not that you should feel like this but I know if that was me I would feel like gross about myself like because I'd be thinking and also you'd be questioning like what, I would feel like gross about myself. Like, cause I'd be thinking, and also you'd be questioning like, what did I do wrong? Like, that's just an awful thing to do. I can't understand why anyone would do that. Like that is the biggest fuck boy of all fuck boys.

I think that I, what you just said, I think that's where my brain would go. Like I take it personally and I'd be like, Oh, was it not very good? Like, am I not,

do you know what I mean? Like I take it there, which is not fair for like a girl, like no one, someone to ever question. So like the fact that like that like he just he texts you to say that honestly i never thought this but i'd actually rather him say nothing yeah so would i i actually think i would too that's just awful yeah that's awful and i'm so sorry this one honestly doesn't even sound real. He stood up and he told the waiter to tell me. No, I'm sorry.

Surely not. He asked the waiter to tell you that he was finished. No. No, that didn't happen. No, I actually don't believe that. Actually, I can't. I can't believe that. That can't be true.

I'm just trying to envision myself in a restaurant if I was with a boyfriend and the waiter come over and said to me he's breaking up with you i'd be like good joke so like do you think he left the restaurant and was like can you tell her i can't do it anymore oh surely not i would assume so because if he was just stood up at the table then why has he got the way to say it i think he fully got up and like left and said to the imagine being that waiter that had to say that as well i could i couldn't i physically would not be able to do it i'd feel like i'd have to console the person i'd be giving them just like free drinks free food like babe it's fine like i literally

wouldn't know what to do let me tell you that guy that's done that is he is not a man that's a fucking child yes that is a boy not a man yeah that is a literal boy how you can't how you've had to ask a stranger a waiter to do that why are you getting beyond me yeah to initiate your break that is so strange and i'm so again so sorry that happened to i honestly i've never heard anything happening like that before i just don't understand why some people can't just be a bigger person and just say it neither because i imagine imagine the pure shock that she would have got that coming from the waiter i don't even want to imagine it like i actually just can't imagine that it's a fact as well like you're out in public like i just want to be in my room and i just want like you just want to cry i just yeah i literally want

to cry and i would not want to be doing that in the middle of a restaurant after i've just had dinner with my partner well ex-partner now that is horrendous and actually might be one of the worst ways i've ever heard about somebody breaking up with somebody that is like what you'd hear in a movie yeah it's literally it's a film scene that genuinely what it is that is the beginning of the film horrendous yeah like and i am so sorry you went through that but let me tell you the fact that he's actually had to ask somebody else to do that for him it's so embarrassing on his behalf little boy behavior that is exactly like little boy behavior i don't think he's ever growing up anytime soon so you're not missing out the next one is just ain't great either he broke up with me because he wanted to focus on football and then

he got with someone else two weeks later i mean right this is obviously awful it's hard to say someone i've fallen out of love with you i don't know how long you guys have been together. And the fact he obviously got with a girl two weeks after is obviously disgusting because like, Jesus Christ, just try and keep your pants for a couple of weeks, like come off it. But I think the excuse thing,

it is hard because I think we've all given up. We've all given bad excuses to get out of something because you feel so guilty. I've learned as I've got older, being honest is like the best thing in the world. Like you, it might be harder at that point, but in the long run, it will only be better. Like if he had said to you there and then,

you know, if I'm being honest, I'm just not in love with you anymore. It would have hurt more. It would have been more awkward for him. But then when he gets with another girl, it wouldn't be as big of a deal. As much of a shock. Yeah.

So like I've learned getting older that like being honest is just the best thing you can ever do for the long run. But I kind of get where his pathetic excuse of, I want to focus on my foot, even though it's obviously not true. Yeah. And you're right. It literally is just an excuse. Kind of comes from of comes from yeah yeah it is just an excuse and it's not okay because imagine imagine someone you was with being with somebody else two weeks later that would be horrible to

see yeah it's it's horrible and I agree with you it was I think it 100% is just an excuse and unfortunately he just was, yeah, maybe he really horribly did fall out of love with you, but he just didn't find the words to be able to say that. Which is, I guess that is hard, like to say to someone's face,

like, you know, I'm not in love with you anymore. If that was the case. Yeah. But like you said, yeah, it would have hurt a lot more at the time,

but would have made more sense when she found out that he was with another girl yeah i just i couldn't imagine that though like again my heart breaks for you because like to see that two weeks later that's just not what you're doing that like surely try and keep it private yeah yeah i wonder how the girl found out but yeah like when like you're going through break you just want to like heal like you don't need to see like for me it's like outside out of mind like i'd rather be like not hear about the person but yeah that's not very nice at all so i'm so so sorry um the next one is also just horrendous what the fuck is going on with these public breakups my year eight boyfriend broke up with me in front of the whole year no the whole year that's giving like that again is actually just disgusting just why like again like why would you like publicly want to not that it's humiliating

but you would feel a little bit humiliated being broken up with yeah but that is humiliating like that is humiliating somebody in front of everyone and the thing is because of like you're saying it was year eight like how cruel kids can be nowadays i feel like everybody maybe just would have laughed do you know what i mean i feel like everyone would have had that reaction which is just like 10 times worse when you're all like when you're being broken up with like i said i'd rather be in private just us two so that i can just like cry yeah i don't think that's something somebody would be getting over like if that had happened to me that i'd probably have stuck with me my entire school years like that would have been horrible i agree and i feel like you're like when you do things like that you're always in school then it's like oh you're the girl that got broken

up with do you know what i mean it makes me so sad yeah that's like i don't know how old you are now but i just really hope that that didn't ruin all of your school years because for me i mean i actually that's just that is actually disgusting it just sounds like he was the sort of guy that just like you know like a class clown but wants all the attention yeah sort of guy in school it sounds very much like he was one of those and he was doing it to try and get everyone to like laugh at him and like he always needed a bit of a confidence boost and it says way more about him than it does you're like honestly it just screams insecurity from his side i was about to say all it does is scream insecurity yeah that is literally what it

is so yeah like staff said i really hope it didn't affect the rest of your school years because you didn't deserve that at all do you know what's funny as well is it's always the bullies and like the people that was the most popular in school that end up like where are they now like all of the bullies at my school couldn't tell you where they've ended up all the nice innocent people that got bullied they're all fucking successful and thriving yeah a hundred because like it's just the way that it works yeah it's always the case i think the bullies in school were always the ones who were so insecure about themselves and hated their own so insecure that all they care about is if people like them yeah and like they care about everybody else who was doing really well they wanted to bring that down because they couldn't have that

for themselves and like you said like all the people who were like super quiet in school and just kind of kept themselves to themselves look at them now everyone's thriving and it's like and it's always the case it's it's literally always always always the case and like i am so glad that i never have to go back to, like, being that age and going to school again. Because kids are so fucking cruel. Like, so cruel nowadays. Honestly, I feel like it's getting worse as well. Oh, I don't think it's getting better.

Especially with social media. Like, it's so bad. Yeah, because, like, for me, when I was at school, I had a BlackBerry. Like, iPhones only came in, like, I don't know, like, towards the end. So, for, like, Instagram and stuff, like like i don't know like towards the end so for like instagram and stuff like that wasn't a thing when i was at school we had bbm but like instagram was definitely a thing when you was at school yeah but not me not in like my younger like when we had blackberries like none of nobody in my school had iphone so we only had bbm i remember like the first person to get an iphone which was the iPhone 3 I had the iPhone 3GS

yeah and then I went to the iPhone 3 was it 3G or 3S I can't remember yeah but like we like I think I only got I think I got Instagram maybe when I was like 12 13 so like yeah so you must have been like year eight probably like year eight year nine yeah like 12 is like year seven but we weren't allowed to bring our phones to school on my phone oh see we were oh yeah my phone just sat in the in my bedroom like we weren't allowed to properly use them until like years into school we get told off if we had them out right okay so we were allowed to use ours and well it's funny how different schools have different roles isn't it i know yeah but i'm pretty sure now like obviously phones are allowed on every single school which again is a massive

fucking problem but anyway that's a whole different toy for another day i know i do worry about our kids but let's just not get into it because i don't even want to talk about it get ai scares me so much but yeah no it's always the case anyways going back to what we're talking about it's always people that care about how other people like perceive them perceive them 100% that end up doing worse like if you stay in your own lane and stay focused on yourself and don't care about that you will always end up on top I can tell you now I don't know who this guy is but he's not successful in life no to do that not at all so i hope you're okay like i said i hope it didn't you didn't let it ruin the rest of your school experience because he is not a very nice person um okay we've got a couple more didn't even break up with me he just blocked me on everything again so childish like so childish

no reasoning no nothing just blocked you I think that would really hurt I think not having a reason would like genuinely kill me like if somebody had broken up with me and there was no reason I think my mind would then make up a reason that maybe wasn't even true like I'd literally go through like endless possibilities as to why that could have happened which is almost like crueler that's like when we were talking about ghosting like you sit there and question everything yeah which might have happened in this case as well because i guess that kind of is ghosting but like that is just awful okay so to kind of like wrap all of this up um I mean we've kind of given our thoughts and stuff on you know can we be friends with an ex I think we both have actually very

similar opinions on it um and we kind of gave our opinions on like do we feel like there's a certain amount of time it needs to pass for you to be friends with an ex um but somebody I saw when we were doing this um somebody was like I wish I could just like erase all my memories of my ex and it's funny because it really got me thinking I actually don't think I regret anything in my life like even awful things have happened to me I genuinely don don't regret it. But it actually made me think, I actually don't think I would erase memories. I wouldn't because I think they all like bring you to where you are now.

Like everything that's happened has happened and I'm the person I am now because of it. So like even at the time, even though I was hurt, sad, whatever emotions I felt, I felt like I needed to feel those because now I have like a way better outlook on what I want in a relationship because I've learned from mistakes and I've seen what I

don't want like if everything was like super perfect then it would be a bit weird like I feel like everyone's are going to experience loads of different things but yeah no I definitely wouldn't erase memories or like mistakes or anything I feel like it's all it's all part of the journey yeah exactly I feel like everything makes you the person that you are today yeah a hundred percent like I think even like from my last relationship it's made me realize like certain things I'm not settling for anymore whereas like I wouldn't have that if I didn't have those memories and I hadn't gone through what I'd gone through, you know. So I feel like it does just make you the person that you are today.

So, yes, I guess people will have different opinions on it, but I actually really think everything shapes us to who we are. And so, yeah, I definitely wouldn't. Let's go. One movement disorders coordinator. 58 answered questions. Two focused ultrasound procedures. One specially developed helmet. Thousands of high-intensity focused ultrasound waves. Zero incisions. And that very same day, two steady hands. From innovation to action, Sunnybrook is special. Learn more at sunnybrook.ca slash special.

Prime Big Deal Days is coming October 8th and 9th with exclusive savings just for Prime members. Involuntary deal squeals can happen, like the deal on new running shoes squeal, the deal on a new blender squeal, or the infamous deal on a new massager squeal. Save big on electronics, fashion, and more this prime big deal days october 8th and 9th we also thought that we should give you some tips on how to navigate a breakup and

I honestly think obviously you've got the whole like cliche like focus on yourself and keep yourself busy and like distract your mind but I also actually think it's really important to allow yourself to feel all the sad emotions that you're going to go through because I think by allowing yourself to feel them and get them all out that is the only way that you're going to be able to actually move on from the situation because once you've dealt with them head-on they're not going to come back like creep back up on you in like six months and be like you like do I mean face it like having that balance between like distracting yourself also allowing yourself to feel i think is so important i thought that's what i've learned from like breakups you know i give myself three days where i'm like three days of being sad

cry it out and then after that get my shit together can't feel sorry for myself longer than three days this one don't like being in bed for too long i don't she could be ill she's up um no but i do i feel like you should allow yourself to definitely grieve and have all those feelings but then there's got to be a certain point where you're like okay it's obviously not going to be easy but i need to get on and I think if you give yourself a time frame it actually does help like it's I've actually found that it has helped because otherwise you could spend way longer than three days in bed three days is killing me though I love the three days I don't know where the three days came from but I always just allow myself three

days and I'm like that's it now three Now I've got to get my shit together. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, they are cliche. I do actually think that all of those things, like focusing on yourself and everything. I think it's like also looking at the things that you wouldn't have been able to do if you was in that relationship

or things that might've been harder that you've always wanted to do and actually figuring out how you could now do those things. 100%. I mean, it really is just putting yourself first. And it is just trying to see a positive in it. But yeah, I think when you're in a relationship, a lot of us give a lot of ourselves up. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing because you love someone.

But all of my friends that have been broken up with or like ended a relationship they've always felt very lost after and I'm like yeah but now you get to do this and now you get to do that and actually all those things they have actually ended up doing that they wouldn't have been able to do in their relationship so I think it's just trying also to see the positives even when it feels like there is none is you will be able to focus on yourself more but ultimately it's the three-day rule you've heard it here ultimately it's the three-day rule you've heard three days podcast three days that's it and i am that person when i'm sad i will make it worse for myself i will listen to sad music oh i do too i will watch sad movies rihanna stay gets me every single time i will

really that's your song well i can just stop as soon as that comes on i can just cry to it like if i'm in the mood to cry okay what song would you put on to cry to cry i'd probably put on oh god i have loads of songs in my sad playlist what i put on i've got loads of songs in my sad playlist yeah i have a sad playlist no i just i just search on spotify like sad songs and then i'll like choose a spotify playlist do you know what can actually make me cry without even there's no lyrics in it is the up theme tune well that makes you cry no no no have you heard it yeah but it makes you cry so like when i'm doing my acting and i need like um certain things like get me in an emotional state i'll put on up theme tune it's it would make me

cry within five seconds of listening to it like i don't think you've listened to it see i don't need words like i genuinely my girl could just cry on demand i can cry no but i can't cry on demand like i can cry so quickly but like i could hear those two notes and like if you wasn't laughing right now genuinely tears could be flooded down my face but that song's called stuff we did and it's about like when you know he dies and yeah it's just really sad it is i feel like i i feel like i need a bit of like free alistair like lewis capaldi like someone you loved like if i'm driving to really get the theme tune yeah i do have loads of songs like that too but

anyways anyway that's iconic There's songs like that too, but... Anyways. Anyway. That's iconic. There is a song that makes me cry. And it's called this, but honestly, do not recommend if your boyfriend's cheated on you because when you hear the lyrics, it's really like, it's a lot. It's called Enough of Me

and it's by Rachel Gray. Oh, I don't know if I've heard that. It's not like the typical depressing, but it's the lyrics. If I had that on a speaker as well, like really booming, do you know what I mean? That's it, the tears. The tears.

God. You can add that to your three-day playlist, everyone. Well, finally then, would you ever let any of your friends date any of your exes if they wanted to good luck to him i mean genuinely i actually because i wouldn't give a shit because i have no feelings so like yeah like go for it it would more just be like a good yeah good luck situation like enjoy yourself i mean it probably wouldn't be my friend no because really fucking weird to be yeah but um yeah like it i don't even

think it would upset me i think i'd probably find it laughable i was literally about to say i think i would laugh because i'd be i'd be like why yeah like just like surely like surely you don't want to do that but okay good luck babe you're in well we'll wrap it up on that thank you so much for listening make sure to check us out on socials and subscribe to our pod on spotify so you don't miss out on future episodes and other than that we will see you on thursday for bonus episode. Bye, guys. See you guys then. Bye. Bye. Sex, Lies and DM Slides is a Spotify original podcast. It was produced by Spirit Studios with Olivia Scott as the producer.