Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 9: Break ups and focusing on yourself with Maddie Grace Jepson

Episode Date: December 6, 2022

TikTok queen and newly-single Maddie Grace Jepson sat down with us on this week’s episode and girls, she is even more hilarious and STUNNING in real life. Maddie opened up about her recent breakup from a long-term relationship, how old school romance really gives us all the feels, plus how your social posts change after becoming single. Sex, Lies and DM Slides is a Spotify Original podcast. Produced by Spirit Studios with Raymond Tannor and Kate Willis as the producers and from Spotify the Executive Producer is Rhyanna Coleman. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey guys I am Anastasia Kingsnorth and I'm Saffron Barker and welcome to Sex Lies and DM Slides. This week we are actually joined by Maddie Grace Jepsen. We love her and we talk all things privacy in relationships. Yep it was a very really nice like girl bathroom sort of like episode. Yeah. This is everything which like I just feel like you know you know on a drug night out when the girls go to the bathroom and they have a good girls chat. That's what this episode reminds me of. So I just love it. I loved it.

I feel like I slightly scared her with the dating world that she's about to enter, but I love it. Let's get into it. Let's get into it. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber One for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month.

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with the big question because we ask everybody this on the podcast. Anna and I are very... Are you still very single? I'm still very single. So basically, what is your relationship status? Guys, I am single. You're single? I i am i am newly single

though right so i don't know if i would say i'm very single just yet you know when you're like yeah not quite had the single life just yet okay you haven't experienced a single life you're just it's a new thing no guys no are you excited to join the single life um yeah I think I think part of me is I think it's an exciting it's a weird one when you get out of a relationship though isn't it because you don't just want to jump into anything else do you know I feel like you don't even at first have time to be like oh this is so exciting because you're still kind of getting over a relationship exactly and for me like it wasn't even like the reason we broke up was because I was like I had this like feeling of just needs to be on my own like even the thought like I didn't really have I don't even know if I do

even like really have any massive desires to try and like get out there just yet anyway and like you say like I was with him for four and a half years so it's like wow a massive adjustment in my life yeah definitely yeah so you don't just want to jump into anything else no no you do you for you yeah I think as well I'm I'm 23 I'm like you know because I've been with him for so long as well I thought if I'm not going to be with this person the rest of my life like what you know I mean like 100% and the same for him like I thought we just need to live our lives young 20 year olds and then do you know what I mean and also so much can like change in four and a half years i think as well so i was got with him when i was 19 you're so young when

you're like and yeah i don't know what i wanted i was doing something completely different then i was at drama school like i was training to musical theater i'm like not even doing that anymore so it's like you know it was just a lot a lot. A lot had changed. And so when was it that you started doing TikTok? It was, well, I never, I never, never really know when to say because I had like my first viral video in like January 2021. Right. So it had just been turned 2021. Not even that long ago.

No, my first one. But that was like a fluke. Like no one even really knows that video. What was you remember that do you remember that you're like the fact that you're laughing already it's like because it's just like the weirdest thing do you remember that trend and it was like don't ever message me again you fucking little slag you know i remember that and then the swinging arm like that you're swinging army to unreal that's what i did that's my that was my first viral video and i just it was like this trend and i was like i've got to do it because i know i've got crazy arms so i've got crazy arms i need to jump on this trend

and i had about like two followers and i was like and then like overnight it was like 10 million views no way what is going on but no one knows me like no one really remembers that that really so it wasn't probably until i started getting the tongue in involved i was gonna say this sort of like i guess character that you kind of play how did you come up with that well i never really got you know i never really call it a character it is a state an extension of me and it's something that's always i've always done with my friends i was about to say do you do it with your friends yeah oh my god right okay it wasn't something i just came up with one day like i've always done this like weird voice like weird singing like this sort of persona and it was always something me my friends did so then when i started put online it i can see why people think

it's a character because obviously i'm not like that 24 7 imagine no one would want to be my friend people that like expect you to be like that because i think i would find that like almost annoying though because i'll be like i'm not like this all the time yeah i mean i'm trying to get i'm trying to navigate that a little bit because i never want to be rude but like at the same time i think it's really like it's exhausting to be expected to be like it's like weird well yeah and i guess people expect you to just always be funny yeah yeah and it's a lot of phones in the face will you do this will you do this i saw you post about it saying that like people come up to you in the street and say like can you do the tongue

or can you do this yeah and i understand like and i understand% and if you catch me in a good mood or like well most of the time I am I'm in a good mood but if you catch me like you know at a good moment where I'm like up for it then great and I'll always do it but I always think should we just have a chat like should you just are you all right how how how are you like why didn't we start there instead of like can you just do this you know imagine just out with your friends for some dinner and something's like can you do the face you're probably thinking oh i know not really i know it's difficult because obviously that's all that people know me for pretty much so like i obviously it's a compliment isn't it but yeah oh my god and it'd be the same way in which like

i don't know like if i was to meet bretman rock like i'm gonna be like bretman can you like do like the way you are because like obviously you know them for that kind of character they play exactly so i'm not i'm never offended by it but it's like you know if you've had a bad day or you're tired or something and someone's coming to you do the tongue do the tongue do the i'm like oh my god i mean especially like these past couple of weeks after like i'm going through a breakup and i'm like gotta pretend everything's all right and i'm like gotta pretend everything's all right that is so funny so how are you doing how are you finding everything with your new kind of like tiktok career because you're absolutely blowing up you're doing amazing thanks no it honestly it's incredible i literally could never have imagined this would be like possible like

literally a year ago like I was not even doing it like I wasn't doing it full time like it was just something I was doing for fun and now it's like my full-time job it's also such a new career and a new pathway like there's always new things you can do with it but this wasn't really a thing like two years ago no because you like obviously like YouTube is always something I've always thought as like a content creator when you say content creator so for me with tiktok it was never even like i don't even think it was like i was like oh just be for fun like yeah i didn't ever think i think that's the best way to start that's actually when you have like organic content yeah because i know for anna and i when we first did youtube we never knew it would be a job and i think that's like the best way to grow because

you're just doing it because you love it. Whereas now it's like you said, there's no really, there's no like way to grow. There's no success. It almost is luck, right? It's consistency, it's luck. But it's also, I think you can tell when somebody just genuinely loves doing what they're doing.

And I think with you, like that just, you can just tell you're naturally funny. And I think for me, I could tell you was like that with your best friends because I know I'm weird around my friends and when I watch you I'm like I could so relate to this girl not that I can do the tongue thing that you can do no I think you're you're like so totally right because the same way it's like even when I'm watching people on TikTok now I'll always gravitate to the people that I'm just like I know this is actually you this is not like something you're putting it on it's not you're not trying too hard like it's just

really authentic and definitely and I think as well TikTok like you say because it's so new it's really opened up like a lot of doors for people that may have never had an opportunity like do you know what I mean to do something like that so it's like it's I just I just think it's great I think it's really it's paving the way of like social media like the new world of social media because as well you see so many people in so many different lights and like when they're not looking their best and you know compared to maybe like Instagram which is obviously more real tiktok 100 and so i would never have i would never have been able to become like a influencer from instagram yeah i mean that was never going to be my life but like tiktok's allowed me to do it because it's so based

on personality and you know but yeah i'm just loving it and i can vouch that you're really like that because when we were in ibiza the funniest thing that you did was when you're with kyron and we were all on the plane and you guys were doing the mouth thing the siren oh my god have you seen this tiktok i don't think i have it is the best thing oh yeah this is actually this is actually karen's thing really but we does everyone need video on right now it's like a seagull but we were they were like oh my god it was so funny at what point did you think oh i'm gonna try and be a seagull i don't even know how it come up i don't even know i don't

even know we were just delirious by that point as well. Like we had like no sleep and we were all still like so hung over, but also continually drinking as well. And we actually just sat on this plane, like just bored, I think. It literally just came out. That is so funny.

Honestly, guys, it was like, when you think back to it, I think what was even going on? I watch that video back and I cry laugh every time I watch it. It's just so funny. No one knows what to expect going on. But I edit it back and I cry laugh every time I watch it. It's just so funny. No one knows what to expect as well.

So kind of just going back to where you said how you, you know, you've never really been like on your own. Do you think that's partly to do with like your new career, like your new job, because you're doing something so different now? Probably it was a massive comfort like you know and also like it is it's quite a scary thing for me now going into the world being single at doing what I'm doing because dating's not the same anymore yeah and like meeting people is not

the same anymore so I think for you know it was a massive comfort and I and I had a lovely relationship and I've to be honest like you say like I've I've I've never been single so like ever since I could start being in relationships from literally from like 16 I've like had relationships but you don't think it's like your new career that's like changed your opinion or um no I think it has I think maybe because I've been so like I'm just like really reliant upon myself now like I don't necessarily need another person to make me feel secure like I feel really quite secure in myself I feel really good and and I think that's really important like definitely so I think it definitely made me feel much more independent like I didn't need a relationship for example like if it wasn't

right and also you must be so busy as well now do you know what I mean this career like your career's just gone from like zero to 100 so quickly literally that your life must have just changed so much it was so it was we were on we were on like different like paths. We're just completely on different wavelengths in terms of what, what we're doing for work. And I don't think that's like, you know, I do think you could be with somebody who was doing complete different work to you and it's, and that's fine. But like, ultimately there was obviously issues deeper than just that, that, but that was like the main thing I thought we just,

I just I'm not on the same wavelength as you. I can't give you like the support that I feel like I should be able to give you right now I'm too busy and like same ways which he didn't really understand what I was doing so it was just like I'd rather just be on my own yeah then you know being in a relationship that doesn't feel right for either of us so before you're with your boyfriend did you use any dating apps or anything like that because obviously you said you're always in relationships so how did you meet people well i had a period of time four months do you think you're gonna last longer than four months i hope so please god don't make me meet somebody because i'll fall in love in the second one second no this is me this is my problem if i if i like someone

i've like fallen in love with no honestly because i'm such a relate because i am a relationship person i'm like really romantic like i love like old romance so like me too i'm a proper yeah i can so honestly i feel like that is secretly deep down like every girl though no it's every girl's dream to wear a rose petals on the bed i'd like find myself doing that for like my partner i'm like why am i no it's same i'm like this should be the other way around and i'm like i should i should be the boyfriend in this relationship really because i would be great no but um so I did on that those four months I did use the old tins I did use the old tinder I did will you be using hinge now no I'm too scared are you scared I'm too scared I don't feel like I can go on that sounds really pretentious but I don't feel like

I could go on a dating app and not feel like really embarrassed anymore because like okay well in the sense of because people know who you are now some people might know and they'll be like oh yeah she's on she's on here like a screenshot on it like you know it's just like there's no but the good thing is though a lot of people can just think it's fake i know you can always get away with that if you don't connect your instagram there's actually no proof that it's you so true this is where like 100 accounts yeah i know or using your face no i don't even think it would help anyway guys don't you don't use it it's not gonna get you anywhere um no but maybe at some point but right now it's not i'm not necessarily thinking about jumping on an app yeah it's a bit scary i feel like the times i was on it as well like it was just like it was so

boring it's like just like small talk with like these random people like i actually don't really care about you and stuff like i think it is so much better when you can meet people out and about exactly 100 rather than having to have a conversation on a dating app i've had many of them and it gets very boring and i've had i did go on a few i have been on a few dates from like the time when I was using to date naps and they were just never good so really yeah I've never had okay so you're just avoiding that yeah I am I'm just hoping that it will just happen like I'm not even thinking about it right now even like just like if I meet some someone nice I meet someone nice but

I'm just I'm actually enjoying being on my own yeah really I think I owe it well it's like you said that's the reason you you know you kind of split up because you wanted time by yourself and so you should focus on yourself yeah exactly just jump into something else straight away so no 100 so you was in a relationship for just over four years right yeah well yeah I came up with that for like four and a half years so I just wondered like how do you feel about like privacy because like did you share a lot of like your life online or like not your life your relationship online or not not hugely to be honest I mean he was never I never do you know what it was I never wanted to put sorry I never wanted to put someone in a situation where people could say things about

them and they not know how to like take it you know like as like the fourth the person who's making the content you get used to people saying stuff about you and like you can take it and stuff but I always used to feel like I had a bit of a responsibility to almost not put somebody in that position if I felt they might be a bit, like it was going to put them down because then I would feel really bad. Yeah. So to be honest, it was never, it was never like massively out there on my TikTok.

Like he was in a couple of my videos. How did he feel about being posted? Was he okay with being in it? He liked it. Towards the end, he liked it. Like, and I thought, you know, oh, we'll do some more because I was like trying to, you know,

somehow help him. I was like, maybe you could go and him I was like maybe you could go set up a little TikTok thing go in and but then like it just it was never gonna work out like that but like he he was absolutely fine with it actually but it was I never like said this person is my boyfriend in this video I think it was just like yeah I think that's really nice because I think therefore as well you have such like a it's such a good happy medium because you're not hiding your life but also you get so much privacy as well which is actually really nice because I know a lot of my relationships have been so online that

I literally end up having no privacy like yeah whatsoever no everything you do it's like it's do you think now if you were to get into a relationship would you post it i think i still would just because i wouldn't want to hide half of my life like i would really struggle but nowhere near as soon like previously when i've got into relationships straight away i'm like this is my boyfriend everyone yeah whereas now i know that like i would try and keep it to myself as long as i can because when it is private it does feel more special before everyone knows because it's like you said as I can because when it is private it does feel more special before everyone knows because it's like you said as well everyone then comments on them and that's not a very nice thing like you know what social media is like it's not always nice so I think that's

you know the hard thing as well definitely so yeah I think like um what you just said as well you're because you're like my content's more random as well so it's not like life necessarily lifestyle like it's not so much about like you know I'm not really vlogging or anything it's very much random so like if if I did content that centered a bit more around like my life and things and 100% because I think that's really fitted for that sort of thing like you want to share that with people that are watching your content they want to be involved in it like you know it's part of it so for me it was never even like like I never used to think of he doesn't even need to be in them really because like yeah no one's really no one's even probably that bothered you know I mean same

way as like now we're not together people are probably not even that bothered if I said like oh I'm single people are just like oh I didn't even know you in a relationship but you know what i mean so yeah when you do youtube i think people get really invested in your relationship and they want to know like the ins and outs and if you don't post with your boyfriend for like two weeks then you've broken up apparently like that that is yeah and the thing is as well though if you are in a relationship and you're not showing it and you're showing the rest of your life it it does almost feel like you are lying as well do you know what i mean yeah because you're hiding a big part of your life yeah i don't know i think yeah i think for me when i do get a boyfriend i want to keep it private but not secret

like okay so let's talk about like soft launching your boyfriend because joe baggs called it a soft launch which i really like and i think this is i think this is quite fun so like he posts a picture of their like hand do you know what you know when like someone like just doesn't tag their boyfriend either and like they posted them for the first time and i'm like no i need to see more you know who did that so well montana from love island yeah she hid her boyfriend for about two three years didn't tag him and she only has just tagged him now oh my god do you think that was his do you think he said like oh i don't really want people on like coming over to my socials or it might have

been maybe like she'd always post at the back of his head as well so like it was never like yeah oh my god which i love i love that but how would you guys feel about your boyfriend like just not wanting to be in social media at all because i think i would struggle with that i don't want a boyfriend that's like all over obsessed with it but i know personally i would struggle because i filmed so much of my life like there would be so much i'd therefore not be able to feel yeah like if he's there i think it would make your life harder that would make that would make like your situation that is difficult I think for me for me like I'd I don't know I would have to see I've not had to think about that ever like really

especially because I met my boyfriend before I started social media so when he was a bit like in the beginning oh I'm not really sure I was like well that's so totally fine but I suppose if you meet somebody who knows you already do it they might be a bit more like oh i'm gonna expect it like do you know i mean they might be a bit more they might be a bit more open to it but i don't know i'll see might be a bit shady i'm like why don't you want people to know am i ugly i think it's definitely easier for if you didn't want to post your boyfriend because you do tiktok i think it's a lot easier yeah i mean my content yeah is so random so but whereas youtube is a little bit harder yeah i can imagine that if i'm doing a day in my life my boyfriend's there yeah sorry you're gonna have to stay that side of the camera yeah you're not here i'm cooking two meals but not for you yeah there's

actually a girl i watch you're stephanie sue yes. But she always, her boyfriend always has that like panda head on. Oh, yeah. Wait, what? I haven't seen that. So he's in her videos, but he'll always sit behind the camera. If he ever comes on, he like puts this like panda head on.

She does like mukbangs, but talks about like true crime. Right. So like- Can you hear him talking with the panda head on? Yeah. So he's like, but you don't see him.

Like if he sat behind the camera, he doesn't necessarily have the panda head on. Right. But if he's ever in a vlog, he's always got this panda head on yeah so he's like but you don't see him like if he's sat behind the camera he doesn't necessarily have done a head on like right if he's ever in a vlog he's always got this panda head is really really funny yeah but like people have interesting ways of hiding their relationship yeah so like she's never ever shown what he looks like but i think that's him i think yeah that must be him i think he said i don't want to like be known it's like what you said if if my boyfriend didn't want to like you want a little's like what you said. If my boyfriend didn't want to, like you want a little bit of showing off to you. Well, not even just showing off,

just like actually, yeah, showing off. Like if they don't want to introduce you to their friends and stuff as well, that's just like such a red flag. So if they don't want to show me online, I'd be like, well, why? Yeah, how would you feel if your boyfriend didn't want to post you online?

Like even if it was just a story. I think, well, there's something shady going on. Yeah,'d be upset i'd be saying i'm ugg i'm really yeah i think i would be like i would be thinking something else is going on here yeah well because they should be proud of me and like want to like show me off yeah almost so i always think if people's not posting their relationship right either one they just don't do social media because actually my ex like he really didn't do social media ever but he would still like do the post of my birthday yeah but he like wasn't just an active person but if you're with someone who is an active person and they never like that is weird sorry but saying that actually some guy that i was seeing he would always like post stories and

stuff of us and i know that nobody would ever see it because you know it's just like nobody would see it basically and i would always like repost other people's stories and stuff like that and i would never repost his obviously because i've only just started seeing him yeah and so it's like we said i wouldn't just want to straight away now be like this is my boyfriend also because he wasn't my boyfriend and it's one of those things where it's like you know we we date we see loads of people so if i therefore say like oh i'm seeing this person everyone's gonna be like oh jesus christ you're seeing another person she's telling us now so i can't tell people.

But I think from his point of view, towards the end, it was like, well, you still don't want to like show who I am. But for me, it wasn't that. Do you know what I mean?

It's more because of like my job. I just felt like. I feel like that's like a completely different situation. 100%. I guess it's also hard for like them to understand as well. Like if they don't do social media as a job to then date like a social media influencer to try and explain this world to someone is really hard and it's hard to get them to understand like you know if we date this might

happen or this could happen or people could try and interfere like it's a whole different world honestly already my experience of single life right I went went on this um well I went to a bar okay I'm chatting to this guy every single guy I spoke to is like what so what do you do like obviously it comes up so what do you do oh I do like content creation on TikTok what's that what what's that what do you mean I'm like i'm like oh well that's literally what i do i make videos like comedy videos and tiktok right what is that a job like can you do like and then you know i'm already like well this is yeah this is this is the end of my life i know what to be for every time someone asks me my job i'm like where do i start it's such because also you know you're

gonna get a million questions i know and then someone actually says to me how would you monetize that i'm like as if you would actually ask me that in the first five minutes of meeting me just to warn you you will probably get that a lot i know because a lot of boys on dating apps are so curious about like how we earn money so that's like a number one question i tend to ask now but i'm just like great this is what i've got to prepare myself for i'm not used to this do you know what do you do do you know i mean what do you do tell me what you do how do you monetize your job what do you earn a year i always beat around the bush about it like when they say what do you do i just say oh i just work in like social media yeah i do say that most i have lied

and said i was a social media manager before because i just didn't want any more questions i was like i'll just lie they're not gonna ask me anything else if you say that so no that's so true yeah just lie that's the advice just lie lie about your occupation okay so let's talk about like online expressions of love so would you want your boyfriend to be very like i don't know post a story like i love you all this stuff like really cringy online relationships i don't think like really cringy give me a give me a scenario yeah god let's think of these scenarios when i think it's i don't mean this in a bad way but when i think of like online cringy relationships there is a lot of tiktok couples who do i personally think take it over the top yes on tiktok like i have one in my head but I

obviously can't name them but like all their content is just very like her bums out all the time and she's like she's trying to like seduce him like while she's cooking in the kitchen yeah like it's just a bit much but that isn't even like showing that isn't even like the cringy that's just a lot that's a lot that's just a lot it's just a lot and then i think what the conversations you're having in private like oh okay you just stand there with your bum out while i pretend to walk past i'm like really i'm so embarrassed my mom and dad to see me too yeah oh my god but that's just me i mean a nice picture of the dinner table i was gonna say as well words of

affection as well like i think it's actually not it's like it's like you said you want your boyfriend or your partner to show you off to a certain extent like if he's putting like oh i love this girl so much that's fine it's just when it's every single day yeah maybe it's a lot you know what i mean it's very sweet why you're really laughing no i'm just imagining it because you do you do see it and you're like i don't know if i would if that was me if i would cringe or if i would like it yeah you know but do you think you'd like it every once in a while yeah yeah that's what i'm saying i like it every once in a while i just wouldn't like it every minute of every day yeah no if it

was like every day like so proud of this girl like picture me so proud of this girl she means she means the world to me she's everything to me I'd be like I'd actually have to say that you can't just say that to me like directly yeah yeah like you don't need to be posted online yeah yeah yeah you know what I think is really sweet though some guys have like little highlights for their girlfriend but they won't put like a name they'll just put like a little emoji and it's just like all of the I don't know like dinners they've been on together i've seen that a couple times i think that's quite sweet it's like a subtle way of like you wouldn't really know but like when you click on it you're like oh that's cute yeah i think it's just nice like if you're out for dinner like

if you just like took a pic of you on the story just let everyone know we're out for dinner love that yeah so nice yeah okay so would you mind that when okay when is the right time for your friends to follow your partner or your friends to like follow the guy you're seeing on instagram because for me i wait a while because i sometimes i don't even follow the guy i'm speaking to because i can't stand for people to go down and find him i don't really feel like i would wait a certain time i feel like if my friends met my boyfriend and they were actually my boyfriend they would probably just follow each other yeah just i mean i wouldn't be yeah exactly i wouldn't be like oh go follow him

i'll see when i like we had that conversation last time i was seeing someone yeah we were like when is the right time to like follow this person on instagram what you had the conversation with your friends yeah we all sat and spoke about it and they were like oh should i follow him now he's like is he gonna follow me back like we had that i guess maybe but i think if i was actually in a relationship personally i feel like they would maybe then naturally follow them what about in the talking stage though to say if you were speaking to a guy now but you were like quite you know heavily into it let's say like three months well i don't think my friends would follow them unless they've met them yeah

that's what i was gonna say unless i've met them i probably won't follow them but if they maybe i'm like i'm probably waiting till they're like literally boyfriend girlfriend yeah to be honest yeah i would now i definitely would now yeah i've never really thought about that before i guess but yeah we did have that conversation. What about lock screen? See, if my boyfriend had me as a lock screen, I love that. I love that.

I'm so excited for that. Everyone can know the second he opens his phone that I am his. That's never happened to me before, though. No one's ever done that for me. Babe, you deserve that. Yeah, I really want that kind of lock screen. That is the bare minimum.

Yeah, exactly. The bare minimum. And it's so much better when you don't ask they just do it i think i'd cry if i actually just tap my boyfriend's phone and it was just a picture of me without me knowing i know it's i actually think it's the cutest thing it is so cute because i love it and if someone says like what's the time they can be like that's my girlfriend no i love that i and i always put whoever i'm with is mine is my lock screen yeah so like a picture of us probably not just him yeah well to be honest i feel like i'm so i change my lock screen all the time you have a different lock screen every day i swear it's because right it really depends how i'm feeling that week it might be a

motivational quote i was gonna say or you have like a random girl or something yeah like if i'm like in the gym i'll set it to like my body goals swing so like so then i look at it and i'm like this is what i need so it'd be like some random person like i don't know like inspo or now it's my little niece now it looks like i've got three kids because i've got my niece and nephews next week it will yeah it would change whenever boyfriend it would change to him i love that my favorite one sorry when you crop it off google images but you leave the google search in and you put the whole thing into your background i tap it like oh my god it's because right i know i'm gonna change it like it's just there for that certain amount of time okay so if you were

broken up with your boyfriend would you then delete all of the photos on instagram would you delete tiktoks or youtube videos i guess oh i don't know if i delete tiktoks i was about to say i wouldn't delete youtube videos no i wouldn't do that but instagram yeah yeah would you just i archive them. Yeah. Yeah, because you don't want them because it's still a big part of your life. So for me, I wouldn't want to like completely delete them.

I would archive them. But how soon after do you do that? Pretty soon. I did. But I didn't really have a lot on my Instagram of me and my ex anyway. Like maybe a couple. But TikToks I would not delete delete have people clocked on that

you're not together because of your instagram no really no and that's the thing like i wasn't overly massively public i think because we've been together for so long it wasn't even like we were that we weren't like posting each other all the time because we've just been together such a long time we're in such a different stage of the relationship like just wasn't really part of our relationships like really post each other anyway um but like no i wouldn't delete the tiktoks because some of them got millions of views with our youtube videos i wouldn't delete any youtube videos because like it's my job yeah i don't know it's just i just feel like it's just different to instagram as well isn't it like yeah and also i feel like people like we're talking about like viewers of people who watch us and stuff i think they only really care that much if you one really did post

your like relationship online as well but also if you're both in the social media world so like when i don't know when couples break up who are really public and both do Instagram that's when I think people more invested in a breakup oh yeah definitely whereas I feel like you say if I had a boyfriend now and didn't and broke up and didn't like post about I don't think anybody would really no that's what I mean I don't think anyone really even like maybe like the people who really really are like invested in me you're the odd person who's like everything yeah because actually I went on a TikTok live like the people who really, really are like invested in me. You're the odd person who's really like knows everything. Yeah, because actually I went on a TikTok live like the other week and it like came up and I said, and everyone was like,

oh my God, you're not, oh my God, you're not with your boyfriend anymore, you're not with your boyfriend anymore. And I thought, oh, well, but then I suppose if someone's going to watch TikTok live, probably really like you. So it's probably like the people that really like you that would actually notice, but probably most of the time people won't notice. I wonder why it is though that like we feel like on instagram we have to delete delete delete them whereas like tiktok on youtube we don't i know like i guess maybe from my point

of view it's probably like if like other guys were or whatever were looking on my instagram and they were like pictures me and my boyfriend they think we're still together whereas like with youtube i feel like oh she's not going to go delete that. No. And also, if you're just going through your YouTube videos, it's not necessarily like the ones that stick out. Yes. Do you know what I mean?

Whereas on Instagram, the ones that stick out are probably the ones, oh, she's in a relationship. Do you know what I mean? It's like a bit of a mating ground, isn't it, Instagram? Oh, it is. You know? Absolutely. They're on that Insta scene.

I need to have a little look. That's where you look, isn't it? To see if they're absolutely they're on that insta scene i need to have a little look that's where you look isn't it see if they're in a relationship on insta so what is your thoughts on like publicly announcing like a split then like announcing a breakup because i know you haven't like i know you've like mentioned it on it so that's kind of like a soft way of like yeah saying you've broken up is that how you know you know, you'll go about it? Yeah, like I didn't, because like, like I said, like, because we weren't like massively, like it wasn't like people were following my TikTok because we were like a couple's TikTok.

Whereas I know some people who have had really public breakups because it's had to be like an announcement. Whereas I just don't feel like people would even, like I say, like would even be that bothered, but I would like to just let people know just in case anyone thinks I'm like pretty but like anyone wants to show her off yeah no but just it wasn't you know I did think oh maybe I should just put it out there more because I was actually feeling so rubbish I was like I can't like I don't want to post like I'm not I actually felt

like maybe I just need to let people know that's why I've not been posting but then I thought I'm not even gonna do that it's my life like it is what it is people are probably not that bothered like it's it will just eventually come out like it's fine so yeah I mean it's not a big deal for me I'm just like this was a this is a good way I knew I was coming here I was like this would just be a good way to just if people watch it they watch it and they know and eventually word spreads yeah i mean very quick you know it's like but like i say i don't even think people would be i don't know if like people are that bothered to be honest i'm sure they probably still are yeah people are definitely invested people are more bothered than they're on believe me really i feel like for you when

did you do yours like a your breakup in a q and a do mine there's like this list do i do mine do you want to be like did you i think you did yours in a q and a didn't you on instagram my last breakup yes because i remember seeing it yeah yeah because i didn't want to like make this whole big announcement thing but people were invested oh people were so invested i i share so much of my life yeah um and so I had to announce it like I couldn't just so yeah I did a Q&A and then I kind of just mentioned it there and it was really short and sweet that's a really good way to do it definitely that's what I was hoping would happen let's go.

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You can earn points almost anywhere, and they never expire. Treat your friends or spoil your family. Earn them on your adventure and use them how you want, when you want. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Learn more at amex.ca slash ymxtermsapply. Okay, well now you're a single gal. Uh-huh. Can we read your DMs?

Yeah. There's not really anything interesting on there, guys. I really need to... Have you looked through your requests? Like, is that something that you look through a lot? Sometimes. I'll check it it but most of the time it's just people replying to my stories and things you can have a look i guess as well because not that many people know that you're single you're probably gonna get less hang on let's

talk about this actually listen after this podcast babe it's gonna be flying no i i've got a theory that i'm ugg what are you on about guys Guys, I have, because, like I say, right, because I've not been very public with my relationship anyway, like, no one, I don't think anyone,

like, some people probably didn't even know I was in a relationship. I've had no, like, not that I'm complaining because I was in a relationship, but like,

no one's even, no one even tried to DM throughout the time I was in a relationship. So now it's like, there's nothing on the Instagram that's been like deleted that people will go like, she's single no one's tried to slide in dms anything i think i'm ugh no that actually upsets me because you're actually stunning you are so

stunning oh like i literally thought as soon as i saw you no it literally sounds like i'm just saying it but the second i saw you i literally thought my goodness. And also you're like one of those people that I'd actually be like, oh my God, she's even prettier in real life. Oh my God. Oh, that's the best way to be though. But also as well,

you wasn't looking for it because you was in a relationship. So that's why you're going to feel like that. Maybe I've been giving off the energy of I'm just not interested. Exactly. Like once you have this single gal energy, you wait.

It all changes. You'll read your DMs and look at them in a different way now yeah do you know what i mean i do feel like maybe i'm friend zoned a bit as well with quite a lot of people because everyone's known me like people i know have known me so much to be in a relationship and also because i'm like the funny girl like i think people think like they don't see me in a like sex like sexy or like i am really yeah i'm sexy i am i know i am i'm very very sexy person actually you tell no one gets to know it this is when your next like tiktok is like so sexy and so different and everyone's like what's happening here you better wait for it

your cat walking into the party on thursdays no no oh my No, it's just, so my DMs are very dry, but we can have a look. Oh, you're right. It's just, it's just a lot of, it's stunning. Someone's called you stunning. See?

And did you see that? Was it a girl? Or was it a boy? No, it was a boy. See? Who's Luke? Who's Luke? So you're not looking for it.

That is, that's what it is. No, I think that might be my gay friend. See, it went over your head. Is it Luke Frasier? Hamlet? who's luke so you're not looking for it that is that's what it is is it luke frazee eight hamlet see she doesn't know him she doesn't know him oh i think he's gay hun you can take mine okay i honestly i've never done this to myself can i just say something as well? My nan listens to this podcast. Aw. My mum listens to this. I'm dreading this.

Okay. Okay, I'm just going to search fuck. Okay. Is this in your messages? Yeah. I think we needed to add the me because it doesn't, nothing will come up.

I do say fuck me quite a lot though, but not in like that. Oh. Oh God, it's actually, my stomach's dropped every time no no no it's i've got holy fuck you look so sexy oh that's that's quite nice i like that oh fuck me you are literally so sexy you know i said but these are like actual things like wait is this you

saying it no i know who said that oh yeah that's sweet that's really nice that's sweet what else you might need to think yeah so it's like a what do you use oh i've just got one here i have an expensive dick with no saved name it's no i know who that was i can't remember if i told this story already. Yeah, I was just walking down the street and someone random just gave me their number. Oh, you did? Say this. And they were texting me some wild stuff. Oh my God.

Okay. Horny. Just I'm horny. I've got a couple of I'm hornies. Always horny. God, I'm horny. Well, there we go. Can we do your phone?

No, I actually don't want to do my phone, guys. No, I actually can't. Who have you been texting? I have had more friends. I can't. I don't think I can do it. No, don't worry. You won't let me look through your phone,

so I'm holding you to do that in another episode okay in another episode you can you can look through mine we have got some uh dms that you guys sent in, messages that you guys have sent in, and we're going to read some of them out and respond to them. These are good this week. Okay, so this is more of like a scenario. And they've kept their relationship a secret. So they've said, my dad doesn't know that I have a boyfriend

and we've been together for a year and five months. How have you hid that for that long? Oh my gosh. I would hate that. That's quite a stressful situation. I feel like I'd rather my parents know and not like them and them still know than have to hide the whole thing. Because like that must be so hard.

Like half your life is a lie. I want to know if his parents or her parents know. Oh yeah, so the other set of parents. Yeah, the other parents. Because how have they been like meeting up are they going to one particular house yeah oh god yeah if they still live at home like yeah are they bringing them on maybe like he or she doesn't live at home and so that's why they're getting away with it but then like even still where are you saying you're going all the time

yeah that's very weird i mean i guess there's lots of different reasons i guess why they couldn't but for me personally i feel like i mean i tell my mom as soon as i've been on yeah i just feel like it's sad actually like to not be able to tell your dad that's actually really sad i wonder what i know i wonder why i wonder why they've chosen not to not to say anything because that's a long time to be together 17 months i've never i've never been personally in a position as well where like i've needed to announce a relationship online right yeah so i feel like it's something that i will navigate for like the first time which is kind of scary same that actually is a really like daunting thought like it is it like

you know introducing a whole new person i want to make sure that it's the right person and i want to make sure that i don't want to do it too quick i think for me personally i'm definitely gonna wait like a year like someone else has sent in a response and they said a year they said they're gonna wait six months to a year i mean i don't think i could wait a year but i'm a very impatient person i don't mean a year though of like not posting even at the dinner table wait so they're gonna wait six months a year to announce they're in a relationship? Yeah. Oh my God.

Yeah, that's a long time. Do you guys think that's a really long time? Well, I do think it's a little bit different for us because everyone comments on our life. So I feel like personally, we would wait a little bit longer. That's my personal opinion because we obviously have loads of people commenting on our life. I think it's something that we just naturally have to think about more anyway yeah exactly so but if i was with somebody that didn't have like an online presence or something i'd think well why have you got to wait a year because it's not like you're telling that many people you're not telling millions of

people you're just telling your friends yeah like and the people that follow you so if it's that like i don't understand why you have to wait a year. For me, I think that's a bit strange. Yes, if I wasn't doing this job, then I think a year is too long. But in this job, I think I'm just extra cautious. So are you extra cautious in terms of the audience or extra cautious from the person? I think it's a bit of both because you know what? I know someone who was in a relationship on social media

and they announced their relationship and then people just started getting so involved and they would like dm her boyfriend and make up lies and say like i've seen your boyfriend here or i've seen your boyfriend doing this with another girl and that has sent me psycho yeah because then i wouldn't want to so that's the only thing that slightly puts me off so i feel like i'd also be doing it for my own benefit like no that is actually so true because people will get involved for just like the fun of it because they think they think it's funny they think it's funny and they yeah that's actually someone's feelings that you're messing with so I feel like yeah it's just something that I feel like I really think about now yeah oh my god I've

never but I've never really cannot think about like because I think that's why I was like oh my god that's such a long time but really that's a little bit of my reality now isn't it if like the next you know once you like announce someone people always tend to ask about them as well yeah for like a very long time so after the breakup if you don't want to be reminded of that person and that people are always going to be like oh where's so and so do you know what i mean no i know it's a whole different world to have to think about. Oh God. Okay, so to end this, I feel like on a positive note, is there any advice that you'd give to somebody

after chatting about relationships and privacy online to everyone listening at home? I'd probably say like, just go at your own pace. Don't feel that you have to like lay everything out on the line for people like if you want if you want to take a bit more of a private route then do it but also if you find if you feel like the best way of dealing with it is by just like getting it all out there then also do that I feel like it's such a personal thing isn't it I mean for me I've really I've well there's pros and

cons to being private because you want everyone to know just so it's out there but then also at the same time it's like do you want to let everybody in in on that like privateness so yeah I suppose it really really depends on the situation as well I feel like if he's fucked you over then I'd probably be like yeah it fucked me over do you know what I mean but it yes I suppose it really really depends on situation. I just say take it at your own pace and like give yourself time to process everything. Because as much as like, especially anyone who's got a busy job or busy life, like it can become so easy to just put it to the back of your mind and try and like throw yourself into work and distract yourself. But like, it's really important to process what you're going through like you know i mean i think it's really important important part of like the grieving process so give yourself time and just go at your own pace and don't feel that you owe anybody anything oh that's what i'd say love that thank you so much for coming on i've got those

wise words thank you so much for having me honestly i've loved it so much oh thank you good luck with the dating as well oh yes get yourself on raya okay you have to refer me guys and honestly next time we see you after this podcast the dms will be fun i want to read your and i can't wait don't film me up guys i'll get like one dm from like some random person hello is your sexy great no fingers crossed sex lies and dm slides is a spotify original podcast produced by spirit studios with raymond tanner and kate willis as the producers and from spotify the executive producer is rihanna colman