Sex, Lies & DM Slides - 91. The Three Loves Theory

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

Have you ever heard of the 'Three Loves' theory? Today, we discuss the idea that you only have 3 loves in your life: the first love, the intense love and the everlasting love. We give our hot take on whether we believe this theory AND we discuss how many times we've been in love. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

let's go hi guys and welcome back to another episode of sex lies and dm slides with me saffron barker and me anastasia kingsnorth so we are back for another week and back for another opportunity to deep dive into all things sex and relationships first of, how have you been? Another early morning in LA. Another early morning in LA. Sun's not shining yet. Hopefully it comes out soon. No, I've been good. Thank you. I went away. I went on a road trip this weekend. It was so fun. Drove to Arizona with my friends. Oh my God, it was amazing. We got got so drunk we spent two days on a boat it was just it was so good genuinely memories for life um but now I'm like back on the grind I'm back in my normal routine

I've got exactly a month left in LA so I'm just knuckling down working hard working on the reason that I came out here um but yeah overall really good aside from and i even i feel like i need to whisper this because i genuinely feel like he's gonna hear me your neighbor sorry guys you're fully getting an asmr here right my neighbor who lives well not next to me but below me i'm glad there's mics i don't have to talk really loud so right i'm just have I told you about the neighbor Anna no you haven't you just said it to you briefly earlier okay you're not ready for this I'm actually I went to bed last night and I was so pissed off not gonna lie sorry

to be angry but okay so every day I do my singing exercises. Singing exercises don't sound cute, right? It's la, la, la, la, la. And when it gets really high, it does kind of sound like a dying cat. So I get not the most pleasant thing to hear if you're somebody that lives below me. I completely understand that. But it's something I do every day because I love singing I yeah I want to be a really good singer so I do it every day it's just it's a habit right I didn't think that my um downstairs could I didn't think they could hear me so it's just

something I was doing every day and I deliberately wouldn't do it in the morning in case that they could hear me I thought I'd do it midday most people are out most people go out to work so I thought you know there's no way you can hear me anyways one time I'm walking up the stairs and my neighbor pops his head out his door and he's like are you the singer and I was like oh my god I'm so sorry I didn't think that you could hear me he was like no no it's fine but are you a singer and I was like no I'm not a singer he was like oh well you're good but I don't why are you a singer and I was like no I'm not a singer he was like oh well you're good but I don't why are you singing then and I was like uh because I like singing I I don't know but I'm sorry I won't do it anymore I didn't realize you could hear me and he's like I don't

get it what are you trying to be a singer then anyways just went on and on weirdest conversation ever but I thought to myself shit I'm I can't do my scene as such anymore i do understand it's probably really quite annoying also annoying because now i actually can't do something that i tried so hard to become a habit for such a long time and i can't do it anymore but anyways completely get that then another time i see the neighbor he knocks on the door because it's when my mom was here and we had heels on and we were about to go out and he's like hi I'm your neighbor from downstairs I can hear everything please can you take your shoes off obviously again we understand I mean we've only had our shoes on for about 30 seconds but we understand we're like okay fair enough maybe because we're

wearing heels it sounds really loud so we'll just we said to him it's sorry we're literally we've just put our shoes on we're just about to leave and he's like okay I'm just I can hear everything and we're like okay we're just about to leave right so that was that but then last night at 10 p.m I've just made my dinner well I had my dinner you know a few hours before I've been sat down and then I thought well I need to tidy up the apartment and this is why there's still loads of stuff here because I didn't finish tidying up my apartment 10 p.m I get the doorbell goes and obviously I'm nervous because I'm literally here by myself yeah the fuck it's a neighbor he goes hi I live downstairs and I'm thinking I know this is the third time you've knocked on my door now I know I can hear everything and I'm thinking, I know, this is the third time you've knocked on my door now. I know. I can hear everything. And I'm like, I don't know what to say.

I'm not doing anything. I'm genuinely not doing anything. Well, I don't know what you're doing. I said, I've got no shoes on. I've got no shoes on. You're just walking around. I'm walking around my apartment. Guys, I might be a bit heavy footed, but i can't be that out i'm five foot two i really

can't i've never thought i've never thought you're heavy-footed ever like i'm not genuinely i don't know but it's not like i'm here with anyone it's like loads of us are running around i genuinely was just tidying up my apartment anyways he's got his hands in his head right he's going oh something's not right here i'm standing there like i really i'm in my pajamas i really don't know what you want me to say i don't know what i could do he's honestly he's huffing puffing he's so pissed off hands his head i think he might i think he might be on drugs because i i like, something's not right. Let's go. The all new FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino is bringing you more action than ever.

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Up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber one for students with deals this good everyone wants to be a student join for just $4.99 a month savings make very eligibility and member terms apply let's go also this guy i'm so scared that he can hear me and he's literally probably gonna attack me i'm actually very scared of him he doesn't leave the apartment ever oh he's never left the apartment he orders breakfast lunch and dinner to the apartment he orders sdk steak champagne everything he's never left the apartment he even has a cleaner that comes in every few days and he doesn't leave when the cleaners are he's still sat wait how old is this guy

is he older i don't know maybe like 30 something maybe like young 30s i mean but anyways i then i i was found myself tiptoeing around my apartment and i thought i can't live like you can't be doing that you you're there for a month yeah like i actually can't live like this. You can't be doing that. You're there for a month. Yeah, I actually can't. Fair enough, my singing exercises, which is very annoying. I'm glad I didn't come here for singing because if I came here to do singing, I'd be very upset.

Yeah. But yeah, I just, what do you actually do in that situation? What do I actually do? There's nothing different I can do. Well, you can't not walk around your flat. Like you're just going to have to. If there's that much of can do well you can't not walk around your flat like you're just gonna have to if there's that much

of a problem surely he's gonna have to move because yeah like when I tell you he was so angry that I can't

I can't even put into words so how did the conversation end last night did you just say like sorry and then shut the door no after that he said

he said for like the third time something's not right and then he just walks off i think i really don't know what you want me to say yeah it potentially does sound like he may be taking something and it's maybe don't you think so because that's just not normal and maybe it's a lot louder to him than it actually is in real life yeah i think because like yeah i mean i understand flats are built differently but like i've not once ever heard people walking upstairs like ever even with heels on i mean don't get me wrong sometimes i can hear little things that he does like if he

slams a box i can hear it so i do get that i probably he probably can hear me probably can hear stuff yeah but that's if i'm if i haven't got shoes on i don't know what you want me to do yeah you want to fly you want to go out like what you're like and and the thing is it doesn't help because he doesn't leave his apartment so yeah it's like he doesn't help because he's there all the time yeah i mean i'm not even i'm rarely even here and i was so self-conscious you're gonna have to keep us updated on this sucker because that's not well i'm not gonna answer the door i can't answer the door anymore yeah i think i'm actually i'm actually scared genuinely i think what's bring

on the book do you have like a peephole on the door what you can look through yeah i do i think if you see that it's him don't answer like. Like, just do not answer the door anymore. But the thing is, he's going to know I'm in because he's below me. So there's that. Yes. Guys, what do I do? Is there actually any advice? I've messaged the guy from the Airbnb and I've said to him, does he know who he is?

Does he live here permanently? So I'm waiting for his reply. Okay, that's good that you've messaged the guy but yeah for now i think even if like he knows you're in just don't answer the door for your like for your own safety just don't answer the door yeah no i will thank you oh my gosh anyways glad i got that off my chest what a saga i can't believe that. Neither. Neither. Well. Anyways, that's my update.

How are you? I'm good. I also went away for the weekend. Well, it wasn't a weekend actually. I went away on Monday. So I went out this weekend. It was bank holiday weekend in the UK. So literally like everyone and their mother was out and it was Freya's birthday.

So there was like 30 of us um who went out on the Saturday which was fun and then I went to the Love Island Villa um yesterday well the day before on Monday um and got to do all my behind the scenes stuff and I got to finally post I basically went to do behind the scenes of like the um press day when they go and get the like pictures taken and stuff and ITV were like oh we'll take one of you so you can post it and like prank people whatever and i sent it saff on the day um that i took it and saff was like oh my god it literally looks like you're going on the show because i've just filmed a video pranking everybody but i was like i can't prank saff because she's one of the only people that knows that it was never real in the

first place um but it was so much fun did the villa got to like a professional walk-in with the slow-mo cameras and literally the amount of times i've watched that video back of myself by the way you looked insane i honestly like i'm i'm bigging myself up here i ate that i ate that so hard like i was watching it like oh my god i'm sorry as well why have love i did not actually ask you to go on the show after seeing the reaction i like well i know i want you on that show i don't you on that show i also kind of want to go on the show now because i've got my eye on one of the boys i really fancy sam sam i don't know that because i was okay so my friend harriet's going on the show it would have been so good if he was on there at the same time i know genuinely

died i know i i did not put sam down as i was trying to work out who she'd go for oh okay right and i didn't have sam i'm sure I put Sean as who she'd go for. Let me quickly have a look who Sam is. Really? Well, he is my type. I would not put that as your type. Oh, my God. The minute I saw him, I thought, no.

I thought, this can't be real. Like, how is this? I wouldn't have said his hair is curly enough for you. That is true. He does have curly hair. He has a mullet. But I'm kind of into the mullet which I never thought I'd say either but like whether it's his tattoos or the fact he can give me a blow dry I don't know it's all just like it's all just a bit too perfect and if I was in there I would

1 million percent I think have gone for Sam like really yeah like when I when I was in the villa I was thinking yeah I could imagine myself sat here with him loving it so jealous i'm not actually going in um but yeah i do i was looking at the boys and yeah he's definitely most my type i reckon out of the ones that have been announced so far sure i think i think harriet's gonna go for sean that's who i think she'll go for but when i look at hang on let me get it up, so when I look at the pictures, I think Sean. But when I look at videos, I think Ronnie. Because when I tell you Harriet loves like an Essex looking boy, the whiter the teeth, the...

I don't even know how to explain it. Me and Harriet have the most opposite types. But I would say if I look at the videos, that's who I would put her with. But looking at the pictures, I feel like she'd go for Sean when I watched the video and I saw Ronnie the exact thing popped in my head I thought Harriet's gonna like him really straight away yeah yeah I do I do actually think she loves an ex-ex-boy yeah I do think Sean is good looking but yeah I can imagine Harriet going for for Ronnie way more especially in the video because I feel like not gonna like the pictures and i don't do people any justice they really don't see that's the thing it's really hard to go off the pictures wait is the guy that you're on about the guy in um

in the second video they posted seeing the one in the white shirt with the collar the white like collar top in the second video let me just um no no in the third video sorry so after all the pictures there's a third video is he the one in the white top no no that's kieran they haven't actually posted a video of sam yet oh my god i was gonna say because he looks more like your type um i would say he looks wise is my type and then I found out he's a Welsh rugby player and I thought probably not oh yeah maybe not maybe not I didn't know that but I do think he's good looking he's very tall he's six foot five which is nice but I just don't I just don't know what it is about that Sam guy like I was saying it to everyone I was like there's just something about him that I've really got in my head anyway it's gonna be very embarrassing when he comes out of the Love Island if he ever sees all the stuff I've said

literally as I was in the villa film my promo stuff I was like I can imagine myself sat here with Sam and I've left it in so I was just like I fancy this boy so much but that is so funny at Love Island personally there's none of my type in that in yeah i don't think they're not all attractive people but they're just not no i don't think any one of them's my type i reckon like a bombshell like an early bombshell will be your type i think they're going to put in an unbelievable like looking guy like early on i think so yeah because i've always maybe you know maybe you know more than we do because you've been there and we haven't. I mean, I saw the villa was gorgeous.

My God, I can imagine myself there for two months. So at Love Island, if you need anybody to go and get Sam, I'm your girl. I've done the walking already. I know I can look hot. You should be doing that. I know. The way that I'd be even more nervous watching the TV.

Oh my God, imagine. I'd actually, I don't think my heart could go through it to be fair. I just don't think it could. I feel like it'd be a lot. I don't think it could. It'd be a lot. Yeah. It's just hard because they really do show you how they want to show you.

Oh, 100%. I don't know. Just from friends I know have gone on the show that have been made to say things, I think's hard you've got to take it all with a pinch of salt isn't it but we all have such opinions on certain people yeah like you can go in there and be the nicest person in the world but if they want to edit you to be a bitch they can edit you to be a bitch like they what's funny is we've both said this half the people i've thought they're going to be so nice are always the opposite of that show oh yeah 100 crazy 100 because like as much as they're all people and i mean this is the nicest way possible love island they're

trying to make a show they're characters to the producers yeah like they will persuade them to do things and make decisions and like they could look like the nicest person in the world but yeah they'll be like such a bitch like you literally have no idea and that's why like i try i don't i don't want to judge any of them until like i've watched because it's so hard isn't it like even when they come out they're like did you see this did you see that and everyone's like no like it was edited like this so people are like what like it's it's just crazy but it's obviously because they have to make a story but and i think it's it's different for us because we've met a lot of people on the show and we've seen firsthand how i don't know how

different we can be compared to the show but anyways i'm excited nonetheless it's gonna be really good i'm very excited i need to get a vpn so i can actually watch it over here yeah oh my god yeah you do i'm excited actually i think it's nice like well i'm going to bali so i need to get a vpn for bali as well but it's nice to actually know i have something to watch in the evenings like i like that i look forward to knowing that i've got something so and you had a few friends that've gone on the show now so you would have experienced it but i've never well i've known one person that's gone on the show but this is my first like proper friend that's going on the show so it's weird watching it yeah i feel like it changes your whole perspective when you know somebody in the villa

when you're like you're watching from a completely different angle but even more so they come off a way that they aren't in real life it's gonna make me so angry i don't think i'm gonna be able to sit there i'm gonna have to you know yeah i don't know i'm gonna do it that's exactly because i made the joke to byron about me going in and that's exactly what he said he was like i don't think i'd be able to watch it because i just i i just don't think i'll be able to do it it was like I get so angry at people if they were horrible to you and I was like yeah I know what you mean like it just infuriate you because you like it hits you on a personal level but we are going to be watching Love Island this year let's go as the world's population grows so does the need for resources like potash to support sustainable food production. This is why BHP is building one of the world's most sustainable potash mines in Canada.

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Let's go. Okay, right. So let's get on to the topic of this podcast. There's a theory called the three types of love. And that's something we wanted to discuss in today's episode. So let's just, we've chatted for a long time. So let's just dive straight in. So there's a theory that throughout our lifetime we all fall in love three times at three different stages of our lives i don't agree with this from my personal experience but really okay we will see um each love feels totally unique from the other and teaches us something different that shapes us to the person we become the three types of love are the first love the intense love and the

unconditional love right the reason i don't believe in this is because i've had three relationships in my life and i think it's really easy for me to look back and and say oh i think i thought i was in love but actually i don't think it was love because I was so young but actually I think I I think when I was 14 I was in love like yes a completely different type of love but I think just because I was young doesn't mean I wasn't in love so for me I've probably been in love with three people throughout my life I don't know maybe this could maybe this could still be true but i could see how this is a thing i just don't know if it's the magic number of three yeah i think for me it's so hard because you said when you're younger you can confuse love

with like obsession and like being obsessed with a person because it's the first time you felt all these emotions for somebody else that's like it's love in a different form isn't it like finding somebody really attractive it's completely different I it's really hard because I think I've been in love once so I think I've experienced the like the first love I don't think I've experienced the intense love yeah and the unconditional love because I just well I haven't I guess that sounds maybe really bad to say out loud but I just personally don't think I have um but then I also like but like the theory like it I kind of do believe in it but I don't know whether that's because I want to believe in it because I want to know if that's because I want to believe in it because I want to be like yeah like I'm gonna have that unconditional love blah blah blah

I haven't had it yet but I don't know I think it's hard to say that I've like maybe I've been in love twice I don't know it's hard isn't it it's my relationships haven't been long enough to me to warrant like is this love love or yeah or am i do i just really like them or yeah do i love them or am i in love it's really hard for me to separate that and figure out which one's which i don't think i'm actually going to know that until i've fallen in love again and then i can look back and be like right was I in love was it not yes yeah so um I remember actually god maybe like a year ago my mom sent me a video on this and she was like this is gonna be you this is what my mom had said to me and although my mom well my mom actually had a boyfriend that she was in love with before my dad but then she met my dad i don't know if she had a boyfriend before that i'm not sure but i know she did love someone before my dad and then obviously she met

my dad i've said this sometimes the podcast say that you moved in together the day they met that's i think unconditional love yeah i don't know if there was someone before that but my mom's very much she believes in this and i i don't know i've seen other people that have been through this i just don't know if the magic number's three so i agree with all the points i just don't know if it's always gonna happen in threes um yes even though i really weirdly like the number three but anyways so yeah me too it says the first love usually happens at a young age i.e in high school it usually ends due to two people growing apart or something trivial the relationship cannot withstand it feels like love at the beginning but when you look back you realize

it may have not been true love we learn not all relationships last forever so yeah when I look back at this I think it's very easy for me to be like oh my god I was so young and naive but I actually I know that I was in love at that at that point like I know I was so young and naive but I actually I know that I was in love at that at that point like I know I was so young and yes we did grow apart and we grew up but I don't doubt that I wasn't in love with that person I mean I was in a relationship when I was 14 for two and a half years I don't think you can be with somebody for that long if it if it wasn't love and I you know had like little tiny little flings and stuff in school before that lasted I don't know three weeks whatever that's not love you know

yeah but I don't think just because you're in high school and you're young you can always say because I think a lot of people do that oh well I was so young so that wasn't that wasn't that wasn't love at the same time I can completely see how when you're young you can think it's love and it isn't but you know what and it kind of contradicts my point actually what I just said but it's love for what you knew love to be like yes I think I think love feels and will feel different with every single person and like that person that we end up with and we have the unconditional love with that will be the our adult love that we know and like a mature sort of love but the first love even though it's yeah it's not the love we we want to experience now as an adult it was what we knew it to be back then so I think you were in love but it was just a different sort of love to what you'll experience

now so maybe I have been in love more than i think i think we all i think we all change of age i mean i think the only reason i say that is because i don't think i've ever i've been in three relationships and i would never go into relationship unless i thought i was going to be with somebody forever and genuinely even at that age of 14 that is the way my mindset was until i fell out of love with somebody yeah I didn't want to be with them which like genuinely sounds crazy my mom would be like you're not but okay my mom would actually say that to me she was like um she was like yeah I'm just gonna let you know if you think that's great but you know you're gonna get older and la la la um but yeah I I think yeah it's when you're young it is hard to really understand what love is but

I definitely do think you can be in love at a young age I don't know I think personally I think I've always been more mature than my age so maybe that's why and also I'd been in like little tiny relationships I don't count as relationships because I was i didn't even feel like i was remotely in love with them you know so i don't even count that as a relationship um so yeah okay so that's the first love then we've got the second one which is the intense love um this is the second love and it feels so intense it turns our world upside down the relationship comes with massive highs and intense lows this is the second love and it feels so intense. It turns our world upside down. The relationship comes with massive highs and intense lows. This is the love that feels like a roller coaster and the one that can leave us feeling guarded, disgusting and hurt. The heartbreak from this can be incredibly painful.

We learn what we want from this love and what we don't want from this love. Opinions. I take it back. I may have experienced that one instead so maybe I have been in love twice yeah I think I have I think I think I have I think you've been in love twice because I actually think you've been in love twice yeah the second love was like that and I know that the next love will be which we can talk about the unconditional one but like that intense love that the heartbreak is so painful and like it leaves you feeling so guarded is like the the last proper love i think

i experienced but then it was to me that's like that wasn't love but it classes that it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I know you, yeah. But, oh, I don't know. Yeah. I know your situation, your experience. Yes. I know what you mean. Was it actually love?

Or did you just, or was you... Obsessed. Obsessed with the person that it felt like love? I don't know. But I can see how if you was to put them in categories you're this guy fits this category in the sense of how it made you feel yes yeah if we're going to categorize the love like it's definitely yeah that one um um do you think you've experienced this love see no you don't this is why i don't i don't um i think this is a very very common thing to happen and i don't think this isn't a thing

i think for most people this is probably how it goes i can like i don't say i disagree with it in the sense just for me personally this has not been my experience with love yeah I don't think I've ever had that I never well with my second boyfriend I I never experienced extreme heartbreak I didn't I didn't experience that I didn't have intense lows I didn't have that I genuinely had a healthy good relationship until I basically fell out of love with this person and I guess I personally I changed I guess maybe I grew more I wanted we just wanted we just wanted different things in life so I when I read this I really don't put yeah I didn't feel a roller coaster yeah it was intense but I'm not gonna lie every relationship I've had I feel like

that's my personality so maybe I'm just an intense person I just don't feel personally I've had this experience but I think a lot of people that are probably listening to this right now and please do let us know if you've experienced this probably have experienced this and actually after my mum had sent me this video I'd sent it to loads of my friends and all of them have been like oh my god I've I've done the first two oh my god now they're in a really good relationship um yeah they they're like oh my god this this has literally happened to me this this must be it so I can completely see how this is a very common thing yeah um and probably the most maybe likely thing to happen but just for me personally it's just not what I've experienced which is a good

thing because I think like yeah like the all the love you've experienced isn't that sort of love that ends like that which is a which is an amazing thing and the last one which I think is going to be the next love that I will experience is the unconditional love so this love comes out of complete nowhere and just feels right there's no games you feel yourself and this is the unconditional love that marks the beginning of forever and you thank the universe every day for bringing them into your world and you learn that true love exists and honestly at one point in time that would have made me feel sick but now it's on growth and like learning that it's actually okay like that actually excites me like to be able to like be with a person

and like look at them and be like oh my god like I'm actually thanking god like god for you like that feeling is so exciting to me now and now that you make me the happiest person in the world to like wake up every day and like look at a person and think that yeah I feel you yeah I know I've always been your mindset like you've always had that yeah I think that's my problem is I don't know how to I've always yeah I've always had that mindset that I don't know how to know now if I feel like that if it's actually right do you know what I'm saying yes I do because I felt like this too many times i don't know but then saying that i've spoken about this on other podcasts i've also ignored things because i've wanted to ignore those signs because i've wanted this feeling you know yes so you don't want any of the other

feelings like that's the love you want which is why you always feel like that because of course you're going to want to look at that person every day and think oh my god thank thank the universe for you like you're gonna want that and like I as harsh as it sounds I don't think I've been that in love that I've ever like really thought that I've thought that about people that I can't be with for reasons but like past partners I don't think I've ever been that so like intense in it um but like I the fact that like people say it comes out of nowhere I actually really hope that it does like I would just love for it to come out of absolute nowhere just out of midair and I'm like oh my god and I just feel this like way about someone like that really excites me now and I really can't believe I'm saying that

because that scares me but it really does and I love the idea I think it will just come out of nowhere I think it really does come when you're least expecting it genuinely and I think the reason it comes when you're least expecting it is because you're not focused on finding somebody that you genuinely are happy within yourself that yeah that's that's when it comes because again I do think a lot of being in a happy relationship is having a lot of self-love and just feeling good within yourself as well yeah otherwise there's going to be all of these other issues that I don't think you can just look at somebody and just love them and not feel because when you love somebody that much and you look at them like that it's very easy to feel

insecure within yourself feel anxious feel all these other feelings so I really think when you feel so good within yourself that's why it comes when you're not expecting it yeah a hundred percent like I think when you're when you go out looking for love or looking for that I think you're only we're not all the time because of course like we've said it's very individual and everyone's experience is so different but then when you're looking for it you're going to probably end up in one of the other types of love that isn't going to end very well because you're so desperate for that that you always feel like you need it to complete you whereas when you don't need to complete you and it's only going to add to your life I think that's when you experience that

unconditional love of like wow this is amazing but like do you think that this love the unconditional one is the love that is maybe like glorified the most in the media and tv because I feel like it well maybe is but then you also see a lot of heartbreak so i don't know but well yeah because nobody wants to share the bad parts of their relationships why would you want to share that online well yeah no one's going to live stream doing it i have an argument or like screaming at their like far or whatever no one's gonna want to do that so yes of course it's going to be that way but also because that's at the end of the day that's what everyone wants that is that is what everyone wants yeah that is like the end sort of

love but I think that's a lovely thing though that you've always experienced that sort of love because I think that's what a person always deserves I'd like obviously you're gonna have that like young fling whatever but like the intense sort of love like as much as intense love is amazing the fact that you know like it feels so intense i mean it hasn't always ended well so it's not as perfect as it seems guys because no sometimes i've thought that way but it's not been the case um but yes i yeah I understand what you're saying yeah it's it's just nice that you've like always gone into it with that mindset and I think that's what I'm learning from you since we're doing this podcast and talking about low I'm learning that it's like it's not a bad thing to go in with a

positive mindset no going in with a negative I think you have to I think to have that sort of love you have to go in with such a positive mindset that if you go in with doubt and fear you're I don't think you'll ever have that I mean and don't get me wrong I definitely do think you need to be like I've learned I'd need to be more cautious because in the long run you can very easily get hurt but if you're so much like that I just think you're blocking I don't know just so much like greatness yeah if you go in with so much fear and doubt because you will act a certain way you will react differently to certain things I don't know yeah I does that make sense yeah that makes complete sense and like it's like we need to just meet in the middle and then we'd

be like we'd have the perfect mindset like I just need to pretty much yeah I just need to not be as afraid and not let the fear take over and the doubt take over so like once that's gone then like oh my god like i know it'll be amazing but it's just getting over that fear and that yeah the fear of getting hurt and experiencing that like intenseness yeah it's scary but it's exciting and that's on growth the fact that i'm actually saying i'm excited honestly six months ago if we'd have done this podcast episode on unconditional love i would have sat here in silence until i got but that but honestly i feel like this is probably the most although you want hot girl summer i feel like after this year i feel like you're gonna get into a relationship i can see it

because i can see that your your mindset before was you never really wanted that either i feel like no and sorry if i'm putting words in your mouth you can completely disagree with me but i feel maybe you tried to almost get into relationship because you felt like you should because everyone around you is getting into relationships a lot of my friends um just love being single most of my friendship group love being single and don't want relationships and that's so fine um and there's nothing wrong with that but again sometimes they've said to me oh I should I should probably get into a relationship now and I think it's very easy to feel like you should and for me I think yeah like even when I'm single and I see friends

I think oh I wish I was in a relationship even but I am very much a relationship person whereas although you absolutely will be the best girlfriend ever um fully wife and tear on every way yeah I don't know maybe I'm putting words into your mouth so you can disagree but I feel as if maybe sometimes you felt as if you should get into a relationship even though it's not even what you want you know yeah I think part of that is right I think I wouldn't have done it unless I felt in love with that person at the time because I wouldn't have been fair on the other person but I definitely of course not before I got into my last relationship I definitely started having those feelings of like why has it never happened to me before like why why like how old was I 22 22 23 I don't know I can't remember but like why have I got to this

age it's never happened but like one thing that always gives me like a breath of fresh air is one of my best friends Freya like she and she I know she won't mind me saying this because I've read about it in my book but she's literally only been on four dates in her entire life two two different people a first second date with both of them and that's it she's not had a boyfriend she's not in the slightest bothered about having a boyfriend and it like it was a it's a real breath of fresh air because I feel like nowadays it's quite rare to hear someone openly admit that or like be like able to admit that actually like they're really not bothered because I feel like nowadays everyone is so obsessed with dating and finding somebody and I was speaking to her about it and it made me feel like yeah like maybe I like it's

actually okay to enjoy being single but saying like like yeah hot girl summer this year whatever but I'm not even bothered about it anymore like I like being single and I like going out and having fun and like all of that stuff but I'm actually a bit over it I really am a bit over it now let's go but until you find the right person there's no point in rushing into it so you may as well get excited for hot girl summer oh yeah babe you know i'm in bali for three and a half weeks then in mykonos and then potentially a crew yeah i'm real yeah you know i'm gonna be having my fun and all going to the beach first week of august friends holiday mcdonald's uh okay are you going to mcdonald's

yeah you know i'm gonna be hot girl summering still this year just absolutely erring on the side of caution that i'm yeah yes we're both definitely doing that this year yeah just that's happening I'm open to love this time I I do somewhat believe in this theory I think I will fully believe in it if my next love is that unconditional love then I'll be like oh fucking hell I have done a tick list of all three but um I believe in it I just don't think it's happened for me because listen it's not going to work for every person I actually do believe in it i just i just don't think it's happened for me i think that is with every single like it's so individual i think i'm learning that when doing this podcast because we'll have a discussion and we'll say something we're like

no that definitely can't be true happen or that definitely can't be true and then somebody will message and be like no but this has happened to me so it's like actually like it's just all opinion based that generally is what it is and anything can happen to anyone so it hasn't worked for you it might this theory might work for me or no it's just a theory but unconditional love is what we all want please i would love that and that's a nice way to wrap up the podcast well thank you all so much for listening be sure to check us out on socials and subscribe to the pod on Spotify so you don't miss out on any of the gossip and future episodes and we will see you on Thursday for another bonus ep bye see you guys then bye sex size and dm size is a Spotify original podcast it was produced by

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