Sex, Lies & DM Slides - S1E18: Gizzi & Sydney | A Seeking Arrangement Love Story

Episode Date: October 10, 2022

Sydney and Gizzi chat to a smart and ambitious medical student in her twenties who used the Seeking Arrangement matchmaking website to meet a ‘sugar daddy’ over forty years her senior. Flash forward a few years - the couple are head over heels in love and have never been happier. Go figure!  Sex, Lies and DM Slides is a Spotify Original. This series was produced by Heydon Prowse Productions, edited by Podmonkey with music by Free Seed Films. For Spotify, the executive producers are Rachel Simpson and Alexandra Adey. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, my name's Gizzy Erskine. And I'm Sydney Lima, and this is Sex, Lies and DM Slides. Where we invite our celebrity friends to dive deep into their DM boxes to see what terrors lurk within. We'll be chatting about online trolls, online dating, perverted proposals and why everyone's so weird on social media. Sex and Lies and DM Slides. This podcast contains adult content,

graphic details of our sex lives, and the filthy contents of our inboxes. You have been warned. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee, up to 5% off orders, and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber One for students.

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Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Visit connectsontario.ca. Welcome to Sex Lives and DM Slides. I'm Sydney Lima. And I'm Gizzy Erskine. So this week, I've been thinking a lot about age gap relationships. And I've been thinking about how a lot of my exes are now dating teenagers, essentially. Keep in mind, I'm 27.

They're probably about 10 years older than me. I don't know, about 5 to 10 years older than me. Yeah. And I was once the girl that was the 17-year-old, 18-year-old that was dating the 35-year-olds. Okay. So what's your take on these? What's your experience with all? So when I was 15 15 I went out with somebody

who was 28, 29 for a year my mum was my mum was fine with it it's it's very weird different times apparently

it's weird I'm going to be completely honest the guy who I was going out with ended up coming up to me about 10 years ago and saying look I feel thoroughly revolted at myself. You were way too young

and I couldn't get my head around, but I was in love with you. I want you to know that. I think there are times when it's more appropriate than others, but it really isn't that appropriate, let's be honest. I don't mind an age gap. My father was 30 years different from my mum. But I'm talking mainly when I'm teenagers. I'm talking from 16

and 15 in your case. I absolutely cannot understand why a man who's in his 30s would go out with a teenager let alone somebody in their 40s and 50s i agree it's revolting i literally i i've um so i was thinking back because when i was 19 i was going out with a 30 year old uh about that and i don't know that person i wasn't 19 like they were just so far removed from the person I am now. Like, it's just so weird

to think that my exes are going out with like teenagers like that because I was just so young. I was such a mess. I mean, I'm still a mess. Yeah,

but it's a different, it's not even a mess. It's like, you're discovering stuff. Yeah. Like, I didn't really like, I was having sex at 19

with my then boyfriend and it was like, it was shit. It was fucking shit. Like, comparatively. Like, I just don't know what with my then boyfriend and it was like it was shit it was fucking shit like comparatively like I just don't know what you're getting out of it I think what the frustrating thing is is it suits a young person to learn from an older person what it doesn't suit is the damage that that older person will eventually put onto that younger person so without all of my experiences as I'm sure the same for you, I wouldn't be who I am today, all of those things.

The fact is, that person has crossed a weird line and found it appropriate somehow, and I can't justify that for anyone. Being that 17-year-old, so I was about 17 when I first started hanging out with 30, 35-year-olds. And at the time, I remember there was no women that were there, like 35 year olds hanging out with us. Of course, it was just the men hanging out with us. I was like, where are these women? And like, oh, they're kind of getting on with their lives kind of thing. But it just made

like, at the time, I thought that I was really in control of and in powerful position. But now I look back on it, and I feel a bit weird about it all. And the thing is, I've left hanging out with those people, but they're still hanging out with people that are 17-year-olds. Like, they're getting older, and they're still hanging out with 17-year-olds, these men. The teenage thing is the problem. It's like, it suddenly makes the whole thing feel totally sexualised. Like I said, even though I was a really mouthy, clever teenager,

but it's still not okay. So my niece asked me to buy some leg warmers for her birthday. And they were these, like, stripy, old, gothy ones. And I had to Google them, and I couldn't find it for a love nor money. Avril Lavigne ones. Kind of. Yeah, exactly. The Avril Lavigne ones. Anyway, the search I eventually found,

the only way that I could access them was Harajuku Girls Lolita and she's about to be 14 it's her 14th birthday she has no idea that that's what it is but the fact that you're selling a product

as a Lolita product to teenagers let's remember what Lolita is Lolita's from a novel and it's it's about a sexualised teenager

and somebody's like sexual awakening from an older guy's perspective like it's it's grot sexualised teenager. Yeah. And somebody's, like, sexual awakening from an older guy's perspective. Like, it's grotty. And teens want to aspire to it. But teens don't understand it. I don't think my niece has any idea. She sees it as fashion.

Yeah. But the fact... I don't have a problem with her wearing them. They're not sexy. I mean, they're leg warmers, though. They're leg warmers. But the fact that you're allowed to sell them within fashion as a Lolita product, that's the problem.

No, I agree. It's like, I mean, there's a whole, the Korean movement of Harajuku girls. Like, that's like, I really would like to get a Harajuku girl on to talk about it a bit more. And to maybe like, hear her perception of it all. Because for me, I feel like it's a bit dodged. I mean, there's no other way of aligning yourself to it you're either a teenager trying to aspire to be grown up or you're a middle-aged woman adhering to men's fantasies so anyway um who've we got on today we've got on a

anonymous guest who is um has basically found love on seeking arrangement and if you don't know what seeking arrangement is it's where women mainly women go uh some men i guess to find um a sugar daddy uh so someone who will kind of pay for their lifestyle and this woman is very adamant she's found love for it this just goes to show my age you know you're really up on all of these things you think was thinking that, but I don't know. Yeah, we're very well versed. But I, I'd never heard about it. So essentially, you go onto this website,

you put your vital statistics up, but, you know, and literally your vital statistics, everything from how you physically look, your sizing, what your aspirations are, what you want from a guy,

and they pay for you to be in their life. So it's a sugar daddy, right? And you're a sugar baby. And some people just go in for the thrill of the one or two dates. I mean, is it escorting? I mean, yeah. It is, isn't it? Is it sex work?

Because a lot of people would say it isn't. It depends where it goes. I mean, this woman is obviously in a relationship with her sugar daddy. But that wasn't aspired to a relationship, or was it? But are you still fucking for pay? It's such a fine line, because if you're not havingired to a relationship, or was it? But are you still fucking for pay? It's such a fine line, because if you're not having sex with a person, is it sex work?

I don't know where these people find them, firstly. Like, I've literally, I've bloody tried. I've tried to get a sugar daddy, and it was like, I went on seeking arrangement once, and the guy I was speaking to, he wanted me to go and meet him in this private members club and to have, like, a coffee first. I was like, everyone else I've spoken to like posted a picture of their lips and they got like free grant. I'm like, why the fuck am I having to meet

you? I've got to show up. But then that does make it being an escort. That said, she was getting her way through medical school. And, but yeah, no, but the age gap was about, I mean, she was in her twenties and I think he's about in his 60s. So she's probably around 40 years younger than him. Why would somebody want to, I mean, it must be a power trip. What's the psychology in this? There's money in it.

Yeah, but what's he getting from it? She's getting the money. He's getting young bodies. But nothing real. Anyway, let's see what you think. Sex and lies and DM slide. And slide.

Joining us down the line from the States is Babs, who is going to tell us a pretty amazing story of how she fell in love with her sugar daddy. Is that the right term for it? You know, the thing is, though, you know, because initially you would think, like, it was a very sugar daddy kind of thing. I mean, what else are you going on the side for?

But I guess I never really considered him as one because I think when we met initially, we just really hit it off the bat and it ended up being more of a friendship and companionship. And then it developed into the relationship that we have now. And so I remember all my friends were like, but yeah, like this is, you know, a sugar to any kind of thing. And I'm like, I, you know, I guess no, just from how we perceive each other and how we respect each other. I don't think the finances wasn't a, such a huge dictator of, you know, the relationship. It was just something that came naturally to him to help and provide for me. But it was something that the love and the respect we had for each other was a lot stronger.

Well, listen, let me get you to rewind a bit there. So start from the very beginning. How did you guys hook up the first time? And when I say hook up, I mean, getting contact. So this was like a really funny story. So it was July of 2017. I was 20 years old. And I had recently gotten scammed on Craigslist because I was trying to sell a laptop. And I was like, oh, my fucking God. I'm 20 years old now. I lost a laptop. So I'm really broke. I'm out like all my money. And I remember I came home and I was like really high and I was like, okay, I need to figure something out about my life. Like, I don't know what it is. It's either I sell my body or I do something else, or I somehow just end up getting on the street corner

and just like selling jokes for a living, which wouldn't get me anything. So I was really in this state of desperation because I had to go back to school in August. And again, I had no laptop, no money. So I remember at 2 a.m. reading this Cosmopolitan article. They're like, yeah, women have all the power. And men are willing to pay for it. And I was like, oh, my God. Just count me and I will do anything and everything. So I get on the seeking arrangement site and I was pleasantly surprised of just how professional

it is. You know, you get on and they're like, everything's very transparent. And so the application process was interesting because they'll ask you, you know, you can't use your real name. So you have to use an alias, you know, to protect identities. And they ask you like your biography, your summary, what you're looking for, what your interests are, what you would expect out of the relationship, whether it was romance, whether you wanted it to be more platonic. They would ask questions like about like what kind of lifestyle you wanted, how much money you expected, you know, the, your other person to have. So everything

was just, again, very professional in a way. And so I remember again, me being high at like 2 AM, I wrote down like the dumbest things in my bio. I was like, hi, if you're looking for a good time and a date to your boss's like third wedding, I guess it'll be like a hoot and a half and like some really stupid shit I'm not taking this seriously at all I was like no one's gonna take this seriously I'm gonna get and so I'm gonna knock on my door my mother's gonna have a heart attack so it was just like some really dumb I was like you know if you want to help a struggling college student out um just with a lot of this you know basic funds that she needs um I will I promise I'll be a great friend I'll listen to you I'll be your therapist if need be for an extra like

a hundred dollars an hour like whatever you need so it was just really dumb and then they'll ask for like pictures and so I remember again I wasn't taking this. I had a picture of like my university's hoodie on, like me posing like an idiot. I had this other picture of me at a frat party and I had like worn like a black bra underneath. So it was like a very Regina George moment for me. It was so bad. Like if you saw this, you would have had like no respect for me. The interesting thing about the website is just because of how professional it is and how transparent they make the whole process.

You know, it's not like Tinder or Bumble where you just post and it's active and it's like immediately live. You actually have to get approved. So it takes about like 24 to 48 hours for your whole profile to get approved to make sure you're not like, you know, trafficking or anything. And so 48 hours later, I got approved and I was like, oh, God, here we go. And so 48 hours later, I got approved. And I was like, oh, God, here we go. And so like, I remember scrolling through and again, everything is very transparent. I think that's one of the things I really was appreciative of the whole platform.

So they'll have like different men and I'll tell you again, their interests, their bio, what they're looking for, whether or not they're smokers or drinkers, you know, what their lifestyle is like as well. And, you know, something like, oh, I'm looking for a companion, or I'm looking for a romantic partner, or I'm looking for you to just send me pictures of your underwear, like twice a week, like everything you could imagine there is there. Some people were like, I can only meet you at hotel rooms because I don't want my wife to know. And I was like, oh, dear God god so it was quite a filtering process oh and the interesting thing that they had their net worth so you could also check their net worth interesting so like what does it take to be a sugar daddy like

what is your minimum spend yeah how much money do you gotta have I mean I gotten some stuff like from people that were like you know I'm like a professor and making like $42,000 a year. And I'm like, what do you expect out of this? You said that you had to specify how much money you expected from them. How much money did you put? Oh, my God. I like had such low standards. I don't even know.

I wasn't clearly going after someone with $42,000. Like some kind of higher expectation than that. I, you know, and again, it was more of just like the lifestyle like that I was expecting to walk. But again, I was not taking any of this seriously. I was like, this is gonna last a week. I'm gonna cry. And then I'm gonna have to ask my parents for help. I want to say like, at least like a million or two, like, you know, YouTubers make more than that. Like I was not. I thought I was being very humble, I guess. Prime Big Deal Days is coming October 8th and 9th with exclusive savings just for Prime members.

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It's so bad. And I remember, you know, I got a message from him and it was like something really nice. And oh, because in my bio, I said, please do not watch Fox News. Save yourself the embarrassment. And he was like, you know, what if I do like I watch Fox News? But like, you know, he said something really witty about it. And I was like, lol, like, what's up, brother? Like, how are you doing? And so we got to talking and then, you know, we exchanged numbers and ended up talking over the phone.

And it was just a very natural conversation. It was so pleasant. It wasn't awkward or creepy because I think that's one of the very big hesitations people have about it is like, they're like, there's creepos. And I'm like, there's creepos everywhere. You just have to learn how to filter them

and it's easy because you're online. Our conversation was just so natural. It was so nice. What were you chatting about? So we chatted about like what he did and he had a really nice net worth that I was like oh okay like i was like hello how are you doing um and so we yeah we were chatting about what he did he was a huge tech consultant we chatted about what i did and i was like i'm broke and so we talked about like where we're from originally you know like

i know i guess the conversation did come up like what do we expect and i was, you know, like, I guess the conversation did come up, like, what do we expect? And I was like, you know, I would love like a mentorship. Like, I also want someone that I could learn from and guide me a lot with, you know, the next steps of my career and my academic career. And I was like, you know, what do you expect? And he was like, OK, like, I take it day by day. Like, I just love to help people out. So, you know, if it ends up being something more, that's great. But, you know, I would just love to kind of get to know each other so I was like yay so there was no sexual implications like he was there was no kind of talk of it was just meeting up honestly it was just so

casual it was so nice can I ask quickly like how old is he and what is his net worth um so john's net worth was i think between six to seven million and he was older like i think he was like i think like 60 something i want to say like 61 what what was the negotiation then so you're obviously chatting you're getting on really well you're having this conversation let's get to the dirty the down and dirty well I'm ready I didn't even shower today so I'll tell you okay so after a few times we chatted he asked me for my email and I was like you know what I already got scammed I don't need you making fun of me for it he was like you dumb ass like can you just send me your email and and this was like I, like marking a week after talking. He had sent me money without us even knowing. How much?

How much? I know. So I would want to say about like $200. For just chat? For just some simple chat? Just from simply chatting. He's like, here, go have a nice dinner on me. Let me know where you go.

And just enjoy your time. Take some stress off your shoulders. And I was like, oh. Did he ask for pictures? He sent me pictures. He already saw my pictures on the profile. No, but picture pictures. Like pictures of you eating.

I mean, I don't know why I say eating. But pictures of you at the restaurants. Like any kind of like, were there any photos attached to anything? Yeah, yeah. So like I sent him pictures like of you know me and my friends over the summer and he was like oh okay cool like you know you're like really pretty and i was like thanks bitch and then and then i already saw pictures of him like at work at disneyland and stuff like that so like i guess you're just like oh that's so cool

perhaps i've also got to say i'm not that impressed 200 pounds for a week's worth of work even if chatting to somebody yeah even if it was just me like hey how are you I'm like thinking that that's not good value for money why is this guy at Disneyland Disneyland was one of his clients right so you know after the first week he sent me money and I like ran to my friend house like oh my god oh my god oh my god this guy sent me money and all we did was talk about like you know life and say hello hi and I was like freaking out because like again I'm 20 never did this before I'm like this is insane that this is real and so then a few weeks later I had to go I was at Lollapalooza which is

a festival and I was there with my friend and it was like on the last day and my friend was going to leave. And so I was going to go on the last like the last last day by myself. And so I had no signal in the festival at all. So I'm coming back like all drugged out. I was like, and then I get a message and he's like, hey, you know, I'm on my way back to L.A. from Miami. But I was thinking of stopping over where you are, you know, would you want to meet up? This was like eight hours, like after he had initially sent that. And so I read it and then he sends another message. He's like, well, I didn't get

a response from you. And so I just want to let you know that I did book my ticket to come see you. And then I did buy a ticket at the festival. So let me know if you want to meet up and if not, you know, it's whatever so he basically followed you to Lollapalooza he basically I was telling him that I was going and he was actually in Miami for work so he was like okay like why not I like when would we meet each other we might as well do it now yeah um because we don't know what like each other's like schedules yet and so he I mean again was he into the headliners oh yeah I just don't know if he paid for your tickets or level up or anything anyway I've never seen him offer that's the thing he did

offer to pay for my ticket I was like no no like it's okay like you've already done so much with sending me money because he had sent me money again like a week after that how much was that so like that one was like 300 and so I was just like no no no like, no, like, it's okay. Like, don't worry about it. Like, I already got the ticket. Like, you know, you don't have to do it. He's like, are you sure? Like, did you get a hotel with your friend? And I was like, yeah, no, I'm staying at her place.

Like, again, he was just being so nice about it. And so like, I was like, no, no, don't worry. You know, because again, I still was like, I'm a strong, independent woman who just needs some man's cash. So I was like, oh, my God, like, we're actually meeting. And I told my friend and she is like, oh, my God, like, we're actually meeting. And I told my friend, and she's like, Oh, my God, what are you gonna do? And I was like, well, like, you already bought the ticket. Like, I'm not gonna be a dick and be like, LOL. No, dude, like, bye. Like, I don't want to do that. So I was like, Okay, great. I'll see you tomorrow. I went back

home. And you know, my poor mother is like this devout Muslim. So God knows if she ever, you know, her heart would just break. I remember I come home, you know, and I'm like, chilling poor mother is like this devout Muslim. So God knows if she ever, you know, found this out, her heart would just break. I remember I come home, you know, and I'm like chilling. I'm like really excited. I'm like, oh my God, like I'm going to see this man that I've been talking to that's been sending me money. And clearly I don't have a fear filter in my head. So I was like, yeah, like new opportunities, like just take it in stride. So the next morning comes, we're talking.

And then he calls me an Uber from my place to the festival. And I was going to meet him up at the hotel that he got. I'm like pulling up and I'm like, oh, my God, like this is actually happening. And again, I look like a typical 20-year-old college student. I have my university's hoodie on. I have leggings on. I look like shit, okay? I look like shit.

So we pull up into the Plaza hotels and I see him and he opens the door. He grabs my luggage and we like, we're like, Hey. And it was, I just want to tell you, like, it was not awkward at all. I think because I've learned about him, like he's not an awkward person and I'm not either. And so we hugged and we were like oh my god like this is great like how are you we're like good good good he's like all right let's go to the restaurant you know let's just settle down and so we get to the restaurant and we're talking and you know I'm still using my fake ID like this oh shit I didn't even thought of that did he know how old you were

yeah he did he did like it's embarrassing because I've still used my fake ID to get drinks. And so we ordered two gin and tonic. Did anyone look at you funny? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Everyone's like, okay, what's going on? Is she like the make-a-wish kid? Like, what's happening? Kind of.

Just quickly, can I just, at this stage, how long has this been going on for? Because I can't quite keep up from first port of call to meeting online to actually this Lollapalooza date. How long has that actually been? So like two and a half weeks. Two and a half weeks. Cool.

And you've got 500 bucks out of him at this stage. Yes. And I was like, that's like more I've made in a month. And then what were his expectations of you on that date? Here's the thing. Just because he's such an amazing guy and he doesn't take anything too deeply or is demanding or anything, I think his expectations were like, okay, we'll just see how this goes. Like he didn't have as much to lose as I did.

But had you negotiated money in order to meet, I guess, was it? No, no, he just did this on his own conscious. He was like, hey, I'll just like love to come to see you and meet you. Had he had any other sugar babies before? That's the thing. Like, I know he's had numerous other relationships. Like, either they were very transactional in the sense like he would just help them out and there wasn't any like love and romance relationships, you know, with these women that are clearly like boobs out and, you know, really bitchy and want to go to the nicest places. And then I'm like humbled from Pakistan. That's just like, hey, go out and party.

He's had other relationships I know of. Not that I need to know because I get jealous or anything. It's just like I just want to know where you're coming from because I came from a very different place than I am now because by all accounts what you're saying is you'd gone into this transaction with uh oh shit I need to make some cash and actually come out of it with a loving relationship and with the yeah with the very loving relationship two and a half years wow that's incredible so how does this operate in the sense you have a boyfriend but I'm assuming that looks after you financially now that's kind of what goes on you don't have to negotiate the transactions these days you know it's not actually

no it's funny because when I'm like mad at him I'll pay and he hates it when I pay so how did it how did it turn into a relationship right so like I guess it all starts like after you know we met at Lollapalooza and he got me my first pair of Louboutins like literally an hour later and I was like oh my fucking god like this is actually happening I've only just bought my first pair and I'm 40 and wet my bloody ass off for them yeah and I and you know what is like, I don't even wear them because they're so hard to wear. So I feel so bad. I guess like what, how it transpired was like, you know, after we had met, we just had such a great connection, just amazing, you know, vibes.

And then when he went back to LA and I went to DC, we still were talking everything. And he was like, okay, like, cause I had no furniture either. I was moving into a new place with no furniture and I was like hello Will could we go to like Craigslist or something he's like no like don't worry like I get it's tough I'll take you to Ikea and I think he understands because he never went to college and I guess by the second week of August when I came back to LA he had picked me up we went to our first Ikea date kind of thing. Like I think once we were both in LA in a very stable environment, then it kind of transpired into something deeper. And again, I think the transaction part was obviously there, but I think we were two just invested into each other as people from the beginning.

That it was like, I actually just have an amazing connection with you. It's very clear. He looks like he's 40 and he acts like he's like 22 half the time. So what do your parents think about this? Oh my God, they don't know. They don't know? They don't know you have a boyfriend? No. Oh my God, they would die. Really?

I told my mom I had a boyfriend in high school and she took me out of school for a week. Like, it was insane. So how are you keeping it secret? Are you living together? No, no, no. So we don't live together at all. I think, you know, my family, like, I think, you know, we're also just very unconventional.

So we are all spread out. Like, my sister lives in Dubai. My dad lives in North Carolina. My mom's in Pakistan and I live in LA. Does your sister know? So, yeah. So, like, my sister does know. Yeah. She loves him because

we went to DC to go see her. And so he's like also like a really good friend to her. And does she know how you met? She knows like I think that we met through an app. Yeah. And now she's a very good friend to her. I mean, does he look after her sometimes? Oh my God. He looks

after every single person in my life no yes so this was a huge this was an amazing thing man got infinite funds oh my god this guy's like actually crazy like i look at him and i'm like i really fucking regret going to college like every single day i'm like i really like why am i doing this to myself what about his family what What do they think? They don't know either. Cause I think he's also just very much like, you know, he's at that age. Like again, all his siblings are very similar in age. So they're like older. They don't really share much about their relationships and stuff at this point.

But I wanted to tell you about how he cares about the people in my life. Cause this is a huge thing. And I think just as a life lesson, any man or woman you meet that you're thinking of being in your life, you make sure that they care about the people you care about and you make sure they have a relationship with them. Because I came from really toxic relationships and he's taught me so much, just like how to have something healthy and stable. It's insane. And I will forever appreciate him for it. So I remember the first month into our relationship. So this is like September 2017 now. And all my friends were like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, you're going to die.

Yeah, because listen, a lot of people would look at this as a sort of gateway, inverted commas into prostitution. There's no getting away from him. No, no, no, not at all. And you know, I guess in a way, and I think this is something that, you know, John always instilled in me, he was always like, you know, women have all the power. And, you know, and it's you guys really need to understand that, you know, are women willing to pay $300, you know, without even meeting the guy? No, but guys are because guess what? Women are very much of a kryptonite. And he's like, you guys are men's weakness and you guys have all the power and i'm like fuck yeah and so circling back around with how he met my friends so my friends were like really worried they were like you know what's going on like are you going to be okay like what's happening so i was like no like i'm telling you guys like really he's an amazing amazing guy i've never met someone with such a kind spirit and such a gentle soul like him so he had organized like a roommate best friend initiation introduction

night so it's like me and like five other my friends like all six of us and so we went out to this like really really you know fancy sushi place in LA and we meet him and he has already ordered rounds of drinks and appetizers and we're like you know we're like john and he's like hey how are you and he looks so cute by the way and so he was he was getting along with everyone he was asking about what everyone did you know what their plans are like how they are like he was just getting to know them and it was just so amazing like it was everything just like felt it just felt like we were friends forever but seriously though there must be a side to you that's a bit like concerned that he's just buying your affections i mean it

doesn't matter how much you adore this man yeah you've you've you've come together through um through something which is transactional and yeah and um there must be a an insecurity for you or for your friendships you know like what would happen let's say he lost all his money tomorrow and you needed money would he let you have another sugar daddy I think if that was the case like I think you know you know because again I don't think we ever thought about it I know that I'm definitely more of the budget conscious one for sure like even though like you know we'll do a lot of things together, but I'll also be like,

Hey, like, you know, it's like, we don't have to spend this much money if we don't have to. And he's like, I don't care. Like,

you know, let's just have a good time kind of thing. Um, I feel like if he were to lose all his money tomorrow, I think after two and a half years of just being invested together, I know we would just get through it. Like honest to God. And are you still on the apps?

No, no. I, we deleted just get through it. Like, honest to God. And are you still on the apps? No, no. We deleted that after, like, meeting. And what would you do if you found out that he was supporting someone, I mean, privately behind your back? Is that a concern for you? I think it's, you know, if I found that out in the beginning, I'd be like, oh, okay, because, again,

the expectation wasn't as much as it is now. You know, the relationship hadn't really transpired, you know, as quickly as it, or, like, as deeply as it is now yeah you know the relationship hadn't really transpired you know as quickly as head or like as deeply as it has now so I think in the beginning if that happened I'd be like oh okay like I get it whatever but I think now if it were to happen I'm not seeing it as a transaction anymore I'm seeing it as like okay so this is an actual relationship that you and I love yeah we've fallen in love we're boyfriend and girlfriend we're serious partners like I know he's helped a lot of his friends out for sure. And like I have no one saying it because it's again, like it's not my money. It's not like we have a joint banking account or anything. Like I'm not telling him what to do with his money.

Going forward, do you still want to be a doctor? Yeah. So right now after, you know, I have like my morning cry and wine, you know, like I think. The morning wine and cry. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's so cathartic. If you don't have it, you need a story. I'm going to tell you that. We do, Jasmine.

Yeah, seriously. And then if you're really feeling it, you just have the tequila just straight. And then that just gets you feeling all type of ways. I want to be a psychiatrist. Like, that's the thing. I think I never got to steer away from medicine because I told my mom I had, like, wanted to drop out of pre-med. And then she, like, didn't talk to me for six months. So I was like, okay, clearly this is her dream, not mine.

And so I want to be a doctor for sure. And the only doctor I would want to be is a psychiatrist. But I'm in no rush to get there right now. Oh, well, listen, Babs, we're in no rush to get there right now okay well listen babs we're gonna have to wrap that right there thank you so much it's just a fascinating story very fascinating thank you guys so much for listening to my story and I just hope it kind of gave some positivity out to other people who are probably in the same situation it's really good it's a very interesting story thank you you guys have a good one

thank you for listening to our Spotify original podcast sex lies and dm slides Thank you. You guys have a good one. also follow us on Twitter and Instagram at sexliesdmplies this Spotify original podcast is a Hayden Prowse production edited by Matt and Scott at Podmonkey with music by Free Seed Films. Our executive producers at Spotify are Rachel Simpson and Alexandra Aidey