Sex, Lies & DM Slides - S1E2: Gizzi & Sydney | Miquita & Andi Oliver

Episode Date: October 10, 2022

Chef and presenter Andi Oliver and her daughter and broadcaster Miquita Oliver chat to Gizzi and Sydney in an hilarious conversation about love and sex - much to Miquita’s embarrassment. As they open their social media inboxes, Miquita discusses the DMs she gets from prisoners who want to thank her for helping them to 'pass the time’ in prison and Andi chats about the messages she gets from angry Christians.  Sex, Lies and DM Slides is a Spotify Original. This series was produced by Heydon Prowse Productions, edited by Podmonkey with music by Free Seed Films. For Spotify, the executive producers are Rachel Simpson and Alexandra Adey. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, my name's Gizzy Erskine. And I'm Sydney Lima, and this is Sex, Lies and DM Slides. Where we invite our celebrity friends to dive deep into their DM boxes to see what terrors lurk within. We'll be chatting about online trolls, online dating, perverted proposals and why everyone's so weird on social media. Sex and Lies and DM Slides. This podcast contains adult content, graphic details about sex lives, and the filthy contents of our inboxes.

You have been warned. Hi, I'm Sydney Lima. And I'm Gizzy Erskine. Welcome back to another episode of Spotify Original Podcast, Sex Lies and DM Slides. Oh my god, I just got a text from Angus Deaton, him naked in a pool. Is it? Yeah. Stop it, show me.

It's just him in a pool in Italy with a hot dog. Oh. Like a water blow up. And then he said, lads reunion. Basically, I just came back from holiday with him. So he's now saying lads reunion, deal permitting. I don't know what that means. Anyway, so Angus Deaton is a,

well, remember he presented Have I Got News For You? Yep. How can you forget? How can you forget? And he was in Nighty Night. Remember Nighty Night, the TV show? I loved Nighty Night. Nighty Night.

Anyway, he's a complete legend, but he had a few problems with the press and a few things came to light back in the 90s. The 90s. It was all better off in the 90s. So I went on holiday was all... Oh, it's fine. All bets were off in the 90s. So I went on holiday with him. With a few other people. To Italy for a few days.

I'm still livid about that holiday, by the way. Why? I'm never going to forgive you. No, we knew we were meant to go on holiday. She rejected me to go on holiday with Angus bloody Deaton. I'm like, thanks, mate. It was quite intense. I was heartbroken and devastated.

And we were going off to a retreat and she fucked me off for four days on a massive bender with detox anyway so who have we got on the podcast today gizzy we've got good friends of both of ours actually makita and andy oliver makita as you will know is an iconic presenter who's known for pop world t4 and for music she's very known for her awkward interview style and I actually just found out today that there was an incident in the mid-2010s where Makita was overheard insulting

singer Kesha behind Kesha's management's back. Whoops. Whoops. Easily done I'm sure. I don't know if she's entirely to blame. So her mum Andy is a good friend of mine as well, and yours. And she is...

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though she was a big pop star back in the 80s, is still a big singer, sort of going on forward. But I met her first of all when she and Naina Jerry, who's her best mate, they were doing a thing called, what was it called? Dish It Up, that was it. Dish It Up. What what were they dishing up they were dishing up some really cool food it was a basically show about fusion cooking it was fucking brilliant yeah and i always was really like hats off to

those it was a show that i really wanted to do and they were vibey and they just had a really good time and i was doing this kind of very formatted channel four show that had a poker up its ass so i um i was a bit jealous and then i kind of got to know makita and got to know andy just kind of from hanging around in hackney really but now we just party with them now we just have a fun time with them but now you know andy's obviously huge in food and she does things like saturday kitchen great british menu food unwrapped anyway we love those guys we love them but what was really cool about the dynamic of these two is that it was a mum and daughter.

Yes. And it made me think a lot about my relationship and your relationship with your parents and sex. I mean, the first day I met Sydney, we need to say that I met her parents. Yeah, we were very forward. We were quick moving. We moved in together the next day. Yeah, no, I'm afraid you did meet my dad.

Well, when we were out with him recently, we were out with him recently, weren't we? We went to a gig, another gig. The Liberties again. Went to the Liberties again. My dad decided to get really drunk and not watch the show. He was like kind of upstairs in the VIP bar

flirting with like bar ladies. And then I went upstairs after the gig had finished and he was just literally swaying in a non-existent breeze off his trolley and we went to like kind of leave the venue he i saw him he was behind me i swear to god and then suddenly i turn around and he's no longer there i later find out he was taken away by saint john's ambulance which i did you see it happen because no i mean i think the last thing was me leaving your dad at the vip while, I can't understand a fucking word he's saying. I'm out of here.

Yeah, no, he was chatting absolute shit. But I absolutely love your dad. And your mum, Frances. Frances, big up. Me and your mum have such a good relationship. We chat about you the whole time behind your back. It's brilliant. Oh, God.

Yeah, anything that disastrous happens in your life, which is quite a lot when it comes to relationships we um yeah we chat but what's your relationship like with your mum talking about sex so my mum's very bohemian um in in everything so she would sit us down and enforce conversations of sex and i think it's really important actually i was talking to my sister about this over the on the weekend because we would we started talking about wanking in front of my niece who's 13 and henny's like no it's too sensitive yeah so then suddenly i'm thinking god it's really an interesting thing how men probably get taught we get taught about periods that's our big thing and men probably get taught about masturbation yeah and we don't I mean, I didn't understand where my clip was until I was about 18. Are you sure you know where it is now? I'm not entirely convinced.

I do, Gizzy, I do. But, you know, it was a really interesting time. Anyway, my mum then pipes up and is like, why are we not having this conversation? I'm like, and Henny's obviously been traumatised for life. I should say, at this stage, Henny's sister it's it's interesting how what our upbringing was to be fair though Henny was called up by my mum on her first day of work I believe when she was a teenager to tell her that the reason that she might be single was because she didn't ooze sex enough I know like whose mum does

that how does one ooze sex I I mean, there's two ways. Two ways. One, you squeeze it out, and the other one is it's a ceremonial thing. So talking of awkward sex chats with your mum, here is Andy and Makita Oliver. Sex and lies and DM slides. How are you girls doing? Fine. Sex and lies and DM slides. How are you girls doing?

Fine. The thing is, I was just thinking, because I said to my friend what we were doing, they were like, oh, God, is your mum going to talk about her love life on Instagram? And I was like, no. But then I was like, oh, God, I don't know. That's exactly why we're here. I don't have...

What do you mean, my love life? Like, do you get... I don't know how sexual it gets with you and your Instagram. I don't want to get sexual. I get things like weird guys in bad leather jackets kind of going, hey, pretty lady. Those are my favourite. Can you send them my way?

Just like really strange, like creepy. Hey, pretty lady. But really like a roadie. Like a weird old roadie. Why are you complaining? Am I complaining? Well, I'm just alarmed slightly. I'm tired, babe.

But do you reply to them? I've got silent witness to it. It's not going to watch itself. I don't have time for weird roadies. It's not just a specific kind of weirdo, the roadie. The roadie. And then the other thing that I get are, like, really angry Christians. Oh, wow.

I make them really angry. I got one. Shall I tell you the one I got? Yes. So they get angry because I've got a bald head. Right. That is infuriating. The Bible says it's a sin, disrespectful, etc.

If you're able to have long hair, grow it to your middle back. Only if you can grow it short, then okay, it's short. Then show cover your head with a scarf. And if shaved it off the bible calls that shameful not getting on at you only biblically advising you and this is my favorite only biblically clearly obviously i do need a bit of biblical advice because i've never read it this is my favorite evil lesbians are at record numbers and are shaving their heads and we know it's wrong and we know homosexuals all go to hell. Last bit,

have a great day. I'm joking. My top just burst open. As you said, evil lesbians. Stop trying to go for me, Daisy. Brought out something feral in you. Have a great day.

Oh my God. So not a balding man. He's not being disrespectful to the Bible. No, no. Well, he's allowed to be bald because he's a man. It's the fact that I'm a woman with no hair. And I have had this many times on social media where I just get angry.

Actually, from other religious groups as well. I just realised it's not just contained to the Christians, just angry religious people. I just realised it's not just contained to the Christians, just angry religious people. I just make them upset for some reason. Do you ever reply to them? No, God no. No, in my defence. I did post that though because

I thought it was so hilarious. Did you? Yeah, because I just love to have a great day. Also the idea of these marauding evil lesbians who are probably my mates. Yeah. Or my family. So we start off with the sort of these marauding evil lesbians who are probably my mates. Or my family. So we start off with the sort of sex bit. Oh, great.

Makita, as you walked in, you were like, where are we going to be going with this? We do actually want to know this from both of you. Yes. So, I mean, do people jump into your DMs being a bit saucy? It's more where they're at. The mixture of where they're DMing me from mixed with the content, i.e. prison. You've always heard that, though.

Always. Always. They're DMing from prison. Love me. No, it's post-prison. It's post-prison and then they talk about how much I got them through prison. I think T4 was huge in the common room in prisons. Because it was unbelievable how much people would be like, oh, in jail. Oh, T4 was huge in like the common room in prisons because it was unbelievable

how much people would be like oh in jail oh T4 and I just couldn't understand the idea of all these guys in prison

watching like the Friends omnibus but you probably would need Friends to get like Friends fine but I hope they switched over

the Hollyoaks but yeah so it's usually I don't think that's what they're interested in no no no it never gets too sexual just a lot of looking like my future ex-wife yokes on this. But yeah, so it's usually... I don't think that's what they're interested in to be honest. Yeah, no, no, no, no.

It never gets too sexual, just a lot of looking like my future ex-wife. I find that quite funny. Oh no, I'm totally... The worst thing about this show has been

how little attention I'm getting on Instagram. It's really bad. Really. Sid, what do you get? What do you get? I get...

Because you're so fashion and I wouldn't expect your crowd to be so dirty. I get... I mean, I've stopped getting a lot of attention when I start calling them out. Oh. I've lost a lot of interest in that.

And followers. But I did get, like, financial slave interest. What do you mean? What, like, pay you to be a slave? Like, asking me if they could be my financial slave, so just send me money. Oh. Well, yes.

But they wanted me to, like, meet up with them, which is kind of like, you know... No, no actual meeting. For what? Which I did do. Oh, no way! I did meet up with one of them in a pub, yeah. Did you?

I keep banging on about this. I feel like I need to get a new story. That's why we're still a pool. I'm gripped. I always think people like that are handy. Do you know what I mean? Like those ones who want to clean. Oh, yeah.

She's fine and you can pay me. He wanted to sleep on my floor and help me move house. But I think the sleeping on the floor was just, you know. No, you don't want him sleeping in the house. No, you don't want him sleeping. You take the moving hand. Dance off on the house. No, you don't want him sleeping in the house. But you take them... It starts off with the sleeping hands. It starts off on the floor. You know.

Are either of you on dating apps? No, come on. I have a man. Oh, you do? Yeah, you definitely do. We couldn't work it out. We're thinking. He's secret because he's really annoying.

No. I've been with Garfield for like... I've been saying 21 years. Four about... How old are you? 35. I think he's been with us for 24 years now. Been with us 24 years.

Yeah, I've been with him for many a moon. So we didn't even have mobile phones back in those days. And how did you guys meet? So in Labrador, there's a place called The Globe. Yeah, wow. And I used to live on Paris. We used to live on Paris Terrace. And I used to run The Globe at one point.

And that was like our little hood. And it was actually, The Globe was the first place I ever cooked food and people paid me for it was in The Globe. I used to do chicken, rice and peas, bananas and rum, whipped cream, all the things, Dem. On a Friday and a Saturday night thing. Like at four in the morning, sort of weird, like munchied Grovers. And then Nana, my friend Nana's makita's auntie moved to spain and i went we went to spain for a bit and i came back and i

went down the globe and they'd somebody had taken it over with different people used to run that time and uh they opened the door and it was garfield basically but i was a bit like why are you in my front essentially i thought you I thought, who the fuck are you? Get out of my way, let me in. So, and he was like, let her in, let her in, let her in, and we just started talking, and we discovered, we both thought that camping was a sin against humanity.

I agree. I mean, why would you bother? That's another entire podcast. And then he bought me a drink and we just started talking and then that was it. Tell me that there was whipped cream involved. Oh my God!

Stupid! No, like, honestly. He literally won't let me talk about things like that. Like what? What do you understand? I'm going to bring him back to a magical place. Hearing that story, I do know how Mum and Garth met, but I think that story is very much in the back of my mind,

along with many others, of my parents and my aunties and uncles meeting. I think that's why I've never been on a dating app because I just know too many great stories like that. Is that a great story?

Yeah, of course. It's just serendipity and just kismet and moments. He was. Let's say I make it less magical. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did find out. Then we started seeing each other.

And then I discovered he was seeing someone else that he hadn't told. Oh, my God. And he didn't tell me. I just kept thinking, why does that girl hate me? And me and my friends were, like, a bit mean to her. We used to call her Penny Jenny Wenny. I was like, gosh, she's so uptight.

And then I find out it's because it was his girlfriend. Are you thinking? She was sleeping with her boyfriend. And then I was having it was because it was his girlfriend. Are you thinking? Was sleeping with her boyfriend. And I was having an affair with her and I didn't know. And then anyway, I found out

and I still hated her, obviously. But she knew. She found out, yeah, or she just knew there was a vibe and he was just really,

he was just a dodgy, hackneyed guy, basically. So I'm looking for all of those magical stories. These are the magical stories we keep thinking about. No, I don't like dating apps. I think obviously because I've been well-known since I was a kid.

For me, again, it's a whole other thing. That's a bit of a tricky area. But then the one for people that are well-known is Hideous. Have you ever been on it? On what? Raya. Oh, yeah, Raya. Oh, Jesus Christ.

I was on it for exactly six weeks, went on three of the most absurd dates of my entire life. One of the dates should go down in, like, history. Was that the one it was? I thought I was going out with someone from one band, went and met them, and it turned out it was someone completely different. Which band?

Orlando from Maccabees. Oh, no! I knew it was a Maccabees. Oh, no! I knew it was a Maccabees! I knew it! The best piece was. You wish it was him. I just read Orlando and I was like,

brilliant, fancied him for years. He's been in relationship rages, I've been in relationship rages. All of London's been playing for Orlando to get out of a relationship. Anyway, I turn up

and it wasn't Orlando from Maccabees, it was someone else from another band who will remain nameless. Oh, no. And the worst part was, so I just went in, said hi, went and literally lay on the floor, pissing myself in hysterics, texting my best friend going, how the fuck did I get out of this? Had a drink.

He was very sweet. He was half my age as well. I just, because I've got ADHD. I haven't read it properly. I just saw Orlando and he was very sweet he was half half my age as well I just because I've got ADHD I haven't read it properly I just saw Orlando he was in music that was enough for me that will do

that will do no when I was on I'm not on it but I was looking at it because I guess it was I guess it was Lily

no I can say no no no I've honestly never had it because it's quite complicated you have to be invited like Maddie tried to invite me or some shit no but Lily is For Alan's sake. No, no, no. I've honestly never had it because it's quite complicated. You have to be invited. Like Maddie tried to invite me or some shit.

No. But Lily is getting married to the person she met on Raya. I know. So, I mean... This is Lily Allen, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's like the happiest she's ever been. And looks amazing.

With lovely David from Stranger Things. But when I was looking at it with her, it was like weird model bookers in Amsterdam. Do you know who the first person who came up when I went on it? Jamie Reynolds. Just to explain, that is Gizzy's ex-boyfriend. Oh my God, shut up.

What's the worst date you've been on, Makita? Oh, I've never really been on a date until recently and it wasn't bad, it was good. No, it was bad, but you didn't know it was bad mom i don't want to talk about this she thought we need to have a bit more of this absolutely not just a little bit don't say the person just say what happens gone because it's funny it's not funny just the first bit right so she went away and then she went oh it went really really well and then she went oh yeah this is good okay yeah so we went on a date and i was like god that went so well

i really like him and he texts me going like oh my god i can't wait to see you again so i was like killing it and then he's like can i see you tonight and so the next day he's like can i see you tonight i was like yeah absolutely so i went to meet him he's like shall we talk about what happened i'm, it was fantastic. And we're very well fully in love. Do you want to go into details? He's like, no, no. We drank so much tequila, he fell over twice.

Fell over twice. Told me to go fuck myself. Yes. And made us go to a pizza place and order like 25 pizzas. And like dough balls. And then like left him. Told him to go fuck himself and left. And woke up like, I'm so in love. He was like, it was a fucking shamble.

But you're great. But he still wanted to see me again. So my charm obviously cuts through the tequila haze. Are we still in this relationship? No, we're not. But yeah, I don't know. Dating is a toughie. It really is.

What is the moral of that story? Don't drink too much tequila. Don't drink too much tequila. Avoid tequila. The problem is, it's like... The moral is don't drink too much tequila, yeah. I mean, the thing is clean dating. I tried.

I wasn't drinking for a while. It's a very hard zone to be in. I can't imagine. It's horrible. I tried. Have you. I can't imagine. It's horrible. I tried. Have you ever felt? No. No.

Is that why you targeted me? The whole point is to hoodwink someone into falling in love with you and then get better. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then you can at least go to the cinema sober later on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, dating's a minefield. It's anxiety-ridden, dating.

You know what I mean? It's just horrible. Like, just, you have to have something, to me anyway, to just take the edge off that kind of like, ah! Do you pre-drink before a date? No, no, not... Well, yes, is the answer. Definitely was pre-drinking 20 years ago.

Yeah, but no, this time I was like, I really like him and I don't want to get too big. So I did a pre-drink. Did all the drinking on the date. When you woke up in the morning in this lovely haze, at what point did you cut off the bad stuff? When did you stop remembering these things?

I looked at the WhatsApp and I deleted like five messages. I was like, ooh, I must have been texting. Oh, shit. And I just pretended they didn't happen. I just deleted them. I was like, I can't see them anymore. So they didn't happen. I just delete them. I was like, I can't see them anymore. So they were never sent. Do you get involved much sort of in a counselling level with a Makita?

Yes, deeply. And how much does... I'm a very wise woman, Gizzy. And how much? So I just think about the relationship I have with my own mum and almost still out of spite. I'm still 14 years old. I still kick off. It was her birthday yesterday and I had a tantrum and cried all the way through it. Oh, my spite. I'm still 14 years old. I still kick off.

It was her birthday yesterday and I had a tantrum and cried all the way through it. Oh, my God. I know. I'm the pits. I'm not arguing with that. But I would with her. If my mum ever gives me relationship advice,

I'm spitefully rebellious. No, we're quite good. We go deep. We speak on the phone like 10 times a day. And you'd be like, oh, I'm just, we all go through the emotions

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Subscribe today. You got this. Yeah. So we are definitely going to talk about boyfriends. And she gives me good advice. She gave me very good advice the other day about Garfield because, you know, I wanted to punch him in the head. Yeah. Because we've been

together for 20 odd years and he was driving me up the wall. It's about time. So, you know, you gave me very good relationship advice the other day and you gave me very good life advice the other day. We're really good, actually, with each other. And you know what? We got better after we went on that car rally. We did a car rally across Asia. Like a gumball rally thing, wasn't it?

Yeah, we did this thing called the Endurance Car Rally. We drove across... For the BBC, we didn't just do this. We drove across Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam and it made us... All our family were like,

you're going to do what? And they were like, I can't wait to watch this because you're actually going to kill each other. And once you're in the car after two days, it was going to go either way

and we just had to get patient. Like 15-hour days with each other in a hot car in Vietnam. In a 1956 Morris Minor, boiling hot, 38 degrees inside the car with a blow heater. So that did change our relationship, I think, but also there were cameras. Also there were cameras. Moving on.

No, but it taught us to be patient, and actually it was a good lesson in learning how to listen to each other and talk to each other properly about stuff. And it has really And it's stayed. But I don't talk about my sex life

with my mum, do you? My mum talks about her sex life. So I was brought up with a very bohemian mum and actually not so much to me but to my big sister who was like 15, 16. She was like, darling the problem with you

and the reason that you're not getting that many dates is because you don't ooze sex. So you've got to learn how to ooze sex. And she used to phone up my sister at work before, I think it was time that you went on a date and saying all this stuff. Anyway, my little sister and my mum talk about sex a lot. My mum was more, yeah, she was kind of hedonistic in a sexy way, I think.

Back in the 60s, 70s. And so she's kind of got a lot of sex stories. God, this is terrible. Is she with anyone at the moment? No, but she hasn't been for, I mean, she's in her mid-70s. And she's like, I don't think she's had a... She's been on a couple of dates. She went on a dating app once.

Really? Did she? Makita hates the idea that I have sex. Oh, my God! Just sit on it. Jesus Christ. I'm 56 years old. Of course I have sex.

How do you feel about Makita having sex? Those guys want her to have more. I think she should have loads of sex all the time. Look at her. Look, she's absolutely mortified. This is her. Look, she's absolutely mortified. This is brilliant. Look, she's actually gone purple. I've really not seen looking at all of her, like, features.

She just hates me saying sex. Look, what? Sex. Look at her face. She just hates me. It's just unfair of her. I have sex regularly. Oh, my God!

No, no, no. That's it. Because I know the other person involved, you know what I mean? Well, your stepfather. You don't need to turn your back on me. It literally turns around. Physically turned. It still means...

Next question, Gizzy. Andy, what do you think of the guys that Makita has dated? Well, some of them are nice, some of them are terrible. I'm very nice to all of them. I'm very nice. I'm a really nice, like, Mother of North type person. You were very nice to Simon from it. Oh, he was tedious, though.

And dry. I can't stand a dry guy, you know what I mean? It's like, come on, mate. Where's the chat? Come with some chat, at least. At least come with some chat. And also, you know, we're a very, you know, chatty household. So if you're going to turn up...

I'm going to be very loud in your house. If you're going to come to my yard, you need to be able to express yourself and hold your own, basically. Must be bloody terrifying, actually, walking into your house. No, because we're very... There's chicken, you know? There's chicken, there's rum, there's tunes. Yeah.

I actually think any boy that I was dating would be very lucky to be part of my family. They love me. All her boyfriends love me. And not just me,

all my cousins and stuff, whenever any of us have boyfriends, they all fall in love with the family because we're loving and open and we have great parties.

I speak about you guys a lot at parties, just wondering if there is ever this kind of... It's like your party chat. Simply from the perspective of, is there a more creative family ever

that's ever existed in life? I really like... I get deep... About six in the morning, I get deep. And you could go through my Google search. There's probably a family tree search I'm trying to disprove this point. No, it's a very special family to come from,

so if you're going to date me... You better come correct. You better come correct. Wow. You need to come correct. I don't think I've ever said anything like that. Well, just come correct me, like come with the game. Like, proper.

Come with some chat, come with some game, know what you're talking about, know what you're doing. But that is still intimidating, because even if you do have all that chat, it's frightening, though, to be put up, like, I don't know. But we're kind. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

I'm not like, come correct kind I'm not like conquer it I'm more like conquer it you know and we'll talk generally I end up being their therapist I'm your boyfriend's therapist that's a good point Jamie comes to me with all the

problems I'm a totally therapist a very full circle good point all the young boys they love and chat I've been totally his therapist. It's a very full circle good point. I've been totally his therapist. All the young boys, they love and chat with Andy. Yeah, they do. Mum and Garf are very much guiding the young men of Hackney through their lives.

Lucky, lucky boys. What's your most recent DM slides you've received from strangers? Oh, it's so fitness-based. I do keep messaging you, Peter. As in, you're looking so fit. No, we have to get you skipping. But yeah, it's all just like, I want to skip with you.

That's a new one. I want to skip with you. Also, there's some that I've deleted because I really don't like those emoji, the wet thing. It really gets to me. How many wet ones do you get? There was a point where I was getting like four a week from different people,

but there's certain people doing them all, every picture, and it just felt like a sort of onslaught of wetness. Jeez. I don't think I knew that that's what that meant. I just thought it meant rain. And I only found out about aubergine thing the other day. I never really get the aubergine thing. I was like, why do people keep saying each other vegetables?

I don't understand. Jesus, Mother, it's a penis. It's a penis. No, I know, but weird-looking penis. Exactly. True say, actually. It's not very penis-y, the aubergine. No, it's really wide at the bottom and then on at the top.

Your mate might need some sort of operation. I'm not being funny, but that's not very penis-y at all. How do you feel, like, the whole sort of dynamic of dating has changed? Because, obviously, you're both hot women and, you know, the internet sort of came about probably more... I mean, I'm a bit older than your generation as well, but, like, is it something that you feel, like, has had to be really utilised and integrated into how we sort of work, whether it is, you know, through dating

or how we all interact with each other? To me, it just looks really harsh for young people. I mean, I'm just like, God, it just looks so tiring. And also, this ghosting thing. I mean, what's that all about? I'm sure me and Sandra, my friend who's 60, were talking about this the other day, and we were like, guys used to be a bit crap,

but they didn't, like, make up an entire life and then vanish. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's like this happened to Jadine the other day. This guy was like, yeah, I worked for this company in America and do what this did. It turns out he's in Hounslow. Massive fucking liar.

It's just like, how weird. But that's not ghosting, Mum. That's catfishing. Oh, sorry. And then he disappeared. That's the ghosting. Ghosting's just kind of... Just disappearing completely.

I may have ghosted someone once. I ghost people all the time. I'm so upset you're here biting my tail. I have too much guilt. It's the catfishing I'm in. I have too much guilt to ghost. I'm always so worried're here biting my teeth. I have too much guilt. It's the catfishing I'm in. I have too much guilt to ghost. I'm always so worried about people's feelings. And also, I hate not being liked.

So when people pleasing, I've seen people, I'm like, entertaining this for far too long. You know what I mean? And then you know what it's like when you fancy someone. So it's like, I hate stringing people along. So the correct thing to do would be, it didn't work yeah it was like thank you for the drink yeah crap pasta or whatever you know it's just not it's not my bag man yeah the only time i did actually do that that was another way i would say okay was it the right person this time yeah and really just sort of

did a snog and run has anyone just sort of did a snog and run. Has anyone ever done that before? A snog and run? You ran out down the street. That's really quite shocking. It's like, I need to get out of this. Wait a minute. So I'm going to kiss them and then run away. Yeah.

Have you ever done that? Yeah. Wait, what? Is this a thing? Well, it was more snogged all over Bungalow 8. I suddenly realised what was happening. I was like, we have to get out of here immediately. I just remembered

something really so me and several of my friends had this therapist who was like a hippie kind of guy and then I went on a date with him

and then I got him really I took him down the globe got him really like mashed out his fucking head let him snog

my face off and then broke the therapist basically and he just like had a sort of slight breakdown and then couldn't do therapy anyone all my friends were really annoyed wait wait well you broke his heart i broke his spirit not just his heart okay we were looking into an article about you finding an upskirt photo of yourself. I've got loads of those. That was really upsetting.

Yeah, when I was a kid, when I was 15 or whatever, Pop World, we were poor, so we only had one rolling camera, so that was the only shot. And I was young, so I was always in a miniskirt,

so you do the math. It was just like up my skirt. So it was at work? Yeah, at work. And then people would make horrible videos of just different shots of up my skirt. I've got that! There's a lot! Oh, right, yeah.

Mountain charges. You love a short skirt as well. We do love a short skirt. Yeah, somebody at home takes clips of, like, just literally cuts out bits. Any time, yeah. And they put it on these, like,

pervy blogs. Blogs, yeah. It was blogs. It was blog time. Is it like the foot fetish ones? Is it like the up skirt? You know when they get, like, celebrities' feet?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like an up skirt celebrity foot. I was, like, a kid. I was, like the upskirt, you know when they get like celebrities feet? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like an upskirt celebrity feet. I was like a kid. I was like 17. Well, remember that horrible guy that used to be on Radio 1?

I nearly went down there because she was 15 years old and he was on air going, Makita Oliver, fit or not? Then it ended this whole thing and I was absolutely

incandescent. Fucking hell. And the guard had to stop me going up Radio 1 to go kick his ass. The thing is, Then it ended this whole thing and I was absolutely incandescent. And Garfield had to stop me going at Ray J1 to go kick his ass. The thing is, that just wouldn't... Could you get away with that now? No, she went away. She was 15 years old. This is another of the less moral early noughties. The thing is, we always look back at that time and go,

oh, it was a different time. But thank fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it wasn't that long ago either, P.S. Do you lie to each other? Do I lie to Nikita sometimes? What kind of stuff? Oh, look at your face. Now you're focused,

aren't you? I'm trying to think what you may lie about. Do I lie to her? Yeah, I do lie to her. To protect me, though, yeah? Yeah, of course. Is there anything you want to fess up about? No. No, I mean, sometimes it's none of your business. Sometimes things are just not your business as a mother and daughter.

You know, so I hate that thing. We've talked about this before. We do have a good friendship. We are really close, but she's not my best friend. She's my child. Do you know what I mean? And some shit is just not her business, basically. Yeah, but so when my mum was running this pub called The Birdcage...

I remember it well. Yeah, I think we were all there. We were all partying a lot and we were just all a bit all over the place. It was unbelievable what we thought was acceptable. Acceptable. It was quite an intense year or two there. Quite an intense time. You know, when you're running a pub,

it's like, let's have a drink at one in the afternoon every day. Yeah. But anyway, so at that time, she would lie to me quite a lot about what had happened the night before to the point where

I got a new nickname as FBI because I'd be like, who was here? What time did you guys, what time did the party end, guys? My mates would be like,

auntie, auntie, FBI, FBI. I'd be like, hi, kids. And they'd be like, hiding all their disgusting behaviour. So I think, and that still,

that comes up quite a lot. If she goes out and parties with some mates, she doesn't really want me to know who she was with, what she was up to. That's for me none of my business. I'm a grown adult woman. And I lie to my mum. I really try not to lie at the moment.

After a lot of therapy, I'm really trying to just... No white lies, no big lies. So, yeah, I don't think I lied to you at the moment. Have you ever told a lie to get out of seeing someone again after a date? No, I really haven't. I have. I watched this guy, Giles, who used to live in our

house, and then I went and sort of weirded out. It was a really ill-conceived, bad idea. I didn't see him for ages, and he turned up at my house one day, and he was sort of sitting on the chair, and I thought, I cannot deal with this he turned up at my house one day and he was sort of sitting on the chair and I thought, I cannot deal with this. So I pretended I had to go out. So I got dressed, walked down to Labrador,

all the way down to Labrador. Bye! Pretended to get on the tube. And then waited around the corner and then went back home again. I was like, get the fuck out of my house now. So I pretended that I had a really important meeting to go to. You got all dressed up and everything. Oh, no.

I didn't know how else to get him out of my house. I've done something quite similar. Yeah. What have you done? Just look like you're going somewhere to kind of get them to leave at the same time. Yeah. And then hide around the corner.

People, there's some real lingerers. Some people don't take a hint. No. I love a hint. I can smell a hint at miles. real lingerers. Yeah, I think. Some people don't take a hint. No. I love a hint. I can smell a hint at miles. I'm not yet. You leave early. But like, people have lingered for like a full day,

like 3pm-er. I think that's quite, it's just, and really get comfy. Well, still in your house for the next day. It's like, no, get out. With their bad energy, look. Get out, get out. Have you ever had anything like that, Gizzy? I'm actually really well behaved

because part of my method is to not sleep with people. So I never really had to lie like that, not to their face. Because you don't really... If they were there, you'd be seeing each other. Yeah, probably. You'd want them there. Exactly, in the first place. But yeah.

We're just nice. Yeah, we're nice. It kind of makes all the other shit that i've said today yeah yeah yeah yeah so you're lying right now on an abuse level i mean there's a lot of abuse on social media and have you ever found yourself with having to be like fuck this is actually really serious shit yes after i hosted the mobos uh oh god that was awful. That was awful! I was 28,

so seven years ago. I did a really good job and it was a really hard show to host, but I managed to get through it and I wore this orange dress and I thought I looked good. You did look good. And I'd worked really hard

to lose a bit of weight and I'd really worked hard, but I hadn't lost loads, but I'd lost something. You looked great. A second. And then the next day, and also it was the first big job I'd had since social media so I'd just come back from bankruptcy it was like I was really vulnerable I was really like okay I'm back and it's on BBC One I've got to do this well and uh and I it was Twitter I hadn't even when I left T4 Twitter was like just beginning so and they were just went in on me just days of just people telling me how fat I looked and people getting pictures of fat cartoon characters in orange anything

and sending it to me and McKee and Oliver hosting the Mobos. But a tirade of it for about 48 hours after I'd got off stage and it was horrendous. Oh, God, no. I really don't know what it was. Twitter is literally a cesspit. It's like all the people that used to sit at home shouting at telly can now actually get at you.

They used to just shout at telly and be drunk and horrible and vile to their mates in their own sitting room. Now they can actually access you directly, and they do, and it's just awful. I would say the energy that it takes to fucking do that? Why would you do that? Do you get a lot of shit? Oh, I get a lot of shit.

I've seen you get terrible shit. What's the angle? I wear anything and everything. My main things I've got is my weight. On my 40th birthday, I went out in a really beautiful dress. You look gorgeous. I didn't have... It was very, like, a day later,

I realised I should have probably worn better underwear. But I looked six months pregnant. You didn't? Well, some people are just like, no, I did. I mean, I accept that I did, but the fact is, I got a succession of people being total assholes. I just do block, block, block, block, block everything, because I've seen people start.

See, I think that's a good attitude. I feel like, weirdly, it's one of those things because being in that sort of world, you feel like you're accepted. Do you think blocking's a good thing? I think it's an amazing thing. It shuts it down. There's no need to. You're not accessing it.

I'm not talking to someone who's that vile and revolting. I've never talked. But you can't always help it because people just come in. Especially if it's too much. People can make new accounts, though. There are people. Because I remember I used to get messages from going out with someone in the celebrity world. And it was all of their fans would just go out of their way to just send messages.

And they'd block them and then they'd just pop up again. What, like Tina 1985? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But 1996. 1996, didn't you? Exactly. 97. I mean, I got a stick when I first did Saturday Kitchen because I wore a dress that had short sleeves.

I mean, who gets upset because someone's got short sleeves? Well, they were offended by your throwing your arms. My shoulder. Women are showing shoulder on Saturday Morning. Well, just the religious organisations again. Quite possibly some of my religious friends. Back for more. Back for more. Back for chat.

Did I talk about sex enough with my mother for you guys? Yeah, I know. I'm a bit disappointed, to be honest. I can't believe you want more than that.

I really do. How about masturbating? I think that is a perfect place to wrap. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you. Thank you for listening

to our Spotify original podcast, Sex Lies and DM Slides. Please follow us on Spotify and tell all your mates about it if you enjoyed it. And if you have any weird and wonderful Sex Lies and DM Slides stories

of your own, do slide into our DMs at Sydney Lima and at Gizzy Erskine. No dick pics, please. Also follow us on Twitter and Instagram at SexLiesDMSlides. This Spotify original podcast is a Hayden Prowse production produced by Amanda Redmond, edited by Matt and Scott at PodMonkey.

With music by Free Seed Films, our executive producers at Spotify are Rachel Simpson and Alexandra Adie.