Sex, Lies & DM Slides - S1E21: Gizzi & Sydney | Judi Love

Episode Date: October 10, 2022

Comedian Judi Love comes on the show to give Sex Lies & DM Slides some unofficial agony aunt advice. One listener wants to know whether it’s ok to date an ex-terrorist. Sydney wants some tips on how to respond to some creeping DMing her to ask if she’s a prostitute and Gizzi has had some requests from people to send them her dirty knickers! Lots to chew on.  Sex, Lies and DM Slides is a Spotify Original. This series was produced by Heydon Prowse Productions, edited by Podmonkey with music by Free Seed Films. For Spotify, the executive producers are Rachel Simpson and Alexandra Adey. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Thank you. and why everyone's so weird on social media. Sex and lies and DM slides. This podcast contains adult content, graphic details about sex lives, and the filthy contents of our inboxes. You have been... So what's it like to buy your first cryptocurrency on Kraken? Well, let's say I'm at a food truck I've never tried before. Am I going to go all in on the loaded taco?

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You will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue.yorku.ca. And we're back with another exciting edition of... Sex, Lies and DM Slides. Sid, what's going on? Bloody hell, Gizzy. Just some travelling this week. I know, you were in Turkey, right?

I was in Turkey. First of all, you were in Turkey. You didn't tell me you were going. Suddenly I see you in Turkey. I disappeared. Well, I'll tell you who did know that I was in Turkey. Most of Instagram, it seemed, because I got multiple messages from men out there.

What do you mean? Because you were staying in a very famous spa, right? Yeah. And you had Instagrammed that you were there. Well, I had to geotag it for work. Anyway, I just had about 25 messages from strangers being like, oh my God, you're in Turkey. Welcome to Turkey.

Are you still in Bodrum? But mainly, I've had a lot of penises. And some of the penises have been retracted. What do you mean retracted? I guess they've unsent them because I didn't give them the reaction they wanted. Can you unsend on Instagram? Yeah, you can. I didn't know that. I've done it a lot.

So we didn't get a screen grab of the dick. No, but please believe me. No, I believe you. So yeah, it's been a bit full on on the old gram this week. How have you been? I've been good knee deep in uh restaurant my knee deep in what restaurant what did you think i said god no um yeah restaurant stuff kicking off so what i've been getting is a different kind of dm slide i've

been getting a lot of abuse no yeah like if the most part, we're getting really good reviews. I mean, we've had like four out of five in pretty much every single thing we've done. And to be honest with you, two weeks into roaming a restaurant, I'm proud of myself.

But when people don't like your food, boy, do they like to tell you. And I've had people sliding into my DMs and telling me that you can't cook for shit, you bitch slut. Bitch slut?

Yeah, which was nice. I haven't heard that used for a while. Bitch slut? It's just one word, bitch slut. Bitch slut? Yeah, which was nice. I haven't heard that used for a while. Bitch slut? Is that just one word? Bitch slut? Yeah, bitch slut. I think so. But also there was just a lot of moaning

and people thinking that they are restaurant critics, which I'm actually kind of fine with. I can, by the most part, take criticism. But it's like the reams and reams of, you know when you get a certain amount of words to dm when you've had about seven of those blogs yeah yeah you're like all right chill out you're not jay reina come on give it a rest i think the night i mean there is a good part about this where there's a lot of glory we get online and there's a lot of people saying oh look it's

great it's great and actually when something does come in that is shit like that it's a big thump and it's horrible and it makes you feel crap but it actually gives you a kick up the arse and it's made me like really just want to keep improving fantastic yeah anyway today joining us we have a woman who i'm hoping can help us make sense of the murky world of social media it's comedian and unofficial agony aunt, Judy Love. Sex! And lies. DMs. Lies. Hey! How are you doing today? I'm doing good especially now that I've got this hot chocolate.

I came in like the biggest piece of hot chocolate and demanded a little bit more. Is it proper milk or is it weird milk? It's soy milk because I'm trying to cut down. Are you veganing? You're trying to make me choke. Did you say, am I vegan? Am I veganing? No, girl, do I look vegan? Look at me.

Anyway, so you used, is it fair to say you used social media as a sort of way to launch your comedy? Or the internet at the very least? Yeah, I have used it to a certain extent. I was doing stand-up before I had a Facebook page and an Instagram page. And it was literally just after about, I'd say like a year and a half, two years, my friend was like, why don't you just do a page? Because I just did a video in my car one time and it was singing to an old school garage tune or something and I put it up and I was like, who remembers this?

But it was on my normal family and friends page and everyone was just laughing. It was so funny. You know, they shared it. And then I was like, OK, maybe I should open a little page. So it's a Facebook page? Yeah, open the Facebook page first. I was like, OK, yeah, I'll put some videos up, you know,

a Judy Love page. And then I did the same with Instagram. And I can't remember my first Instagram post. I'd have to go back. And I just kept on posting and it kept on getting viewed and shared. That's really the point. It's like remembering your very first post. I know my first one.

Do you? Yeah, it's me in the bath. Well, it's not me in the bath. It's me drinking a can of Strongbow in the bath. That's basically still what goes on. I'd love to go all the way back to the beginning of mine. I don't know if there's an easier way. Yeah, no, you're absolutely right.

Sometimes I can't find recipes, so I'm, like, scrolling through. And you get sort of, like, a year and a half down and you're like, nah. I can't do that more. And also, what a twat. It's sort of like being faced with yourself to that level. You're thinking, fuck, did I really? So social media has definitely helped, you know,

getting yourself out there and building your own platform, without a doubt. But I would say, like, you have to, you still have to be slightly confident in yourself and not take it too seriously because, you know, people, trolls and stuff on social media can be quite harsh and you can't please everybody. Some people might like your stand-up, but some people might like the video.

I didn't even realise when I did my first video, which wasn't characters or anything, it was just me dancing to a song, I didn't even realise there was a whole industry of people making viral videos. I didn't even understand that yet. It's not until I got into it. And I tried to, yeah, look at the comments

and you'll see if they're laughing and so on. And there's still some negative comments in it, but I just don't pay it no mind. Because otherwise your creativity and your art form will slightly change because you're trying to navigate it. Appease them. Yeah, to appease people.

And also there's that tipping point of the fact that when they are being dicks, then you're probably kind of made it anyway. Wow. If that's the case, bring on the dickless. I mean, we were watching last night your rant. Oh, man. Which one?

It was the one about sort of how we can't complain about people on social media if we're putting shit out there. And I loved that. Yeah. Because it is a place where people just fucking moan out there. Yeah. And I loved that. Yeah, yeah. Because it is a place where people just fucking moan all day. Yeah, they put out everything.

Their relationship problems. Do you know what I mean? Which fanny side is longer than the other? Like, come on. Like, how much information do I need? I don't need to know

about your left toe. I'm kind of interested now, though. Yeah. They put everything out. So if you put so much out, you've got to expect that you're going to have certain things come back.

And I think it's really easy to get lost in social media. Do you know what I mean? And become a character that you're nothing like. And that's when serious issues come into hand. And also with the filters, you look nothing like yourself either. Exactly. And you know what? In saying that, I'm very much like,

I will do videos with no makeup, no eye brands, nothing. And I did a video about that a few months back saying, dear future husband, sometimes I'm going to look just like this. And I had my hair in like little doo-doo colour purple flats, yeah? And I had no makeup on, a little Primark nightie. And I was like, sometimes I'm just going to look like this because I think it's really important to just not get too caught up in the filters.

Sometimes I do use it. It's a laugh. I mean, sometimes, you know, I've got a day off if I'm using filters. Yeah, yeah. I think what you're saying is really true, though. I think the people that really get positive followings by the most part are the authentic ones. And being authentic, sometimes it means you have to bear

the honest part of yourself, which is, look, this is the real deal here, you know? And I think that goes from having a really honest perception that can sometimes be politically incorrect or going against the grain, because it's what the reality is of, you know, how people really live. I do wonder though how real people are

on social media. Like, if we're really seeing the real them. For me, I put, all things I put out is definitely the real me.

But, you know, you have a video that you have to edit. I might brush up my hair a bit before I do a video. On some days, I might not. I don't put my kids

on social media. That's something I feel quite strongly about. Yeah, but there's some days where I might have been exhausted, but I've done a video and I'm really happy. But I'm quite honest in saying, like, I was really tired yesterday. Or I might start the video and say, oh, my gosh, this makeup better last or look a mess.

So I think it's really hard what is real and what's not. Let's open up the inbox, I think. It's time. Oh, OK. The inbox, I think. It's time. Oh, OK. The inbox is time. Let's open up your other inbox. I've had all kind of things, to be honest with you. I've had people, you know, horrible messages.

You know, they want to do me something. My eyes. I always get about my eyes. What about your eyes? Your eyes are like frog eyes. What? Your eyes are so... Because when I do facial expressions,

I think my eyes are quite big, so they're quite... Yeah, I would get that and I just ignore it. Or I had one guy about a few weeks ago and I just laughed. He didn't even direct message. He put this straight on Twitter and said, wow, I didn't know TV was champion obesity. Yeah.

And I was like, well, your mum, I thought it was all right. But... So you get all those kind of messages and you do get the odd... like, well, your mum I thought it was alright. So you get all those kind of messages and you do get the odd, for some reason, I get the odd guys that will message

and say, hi, that's it. Yeah, lots of hi's. I get a lot of hi's. What is that about? If you can't even open a conversation, then babes,

you ain't gonna open my legs. Do you know what I mean? Let's keep it real. It's fucking true. Have you ever gone on a date with, are you single? Yes, I am single.

Have you gone on a date with anyone from social? No, I haven't. Have you though? Yeah, my current boyfriend. Oh shit, really? Yeah, he's seen into my DM. You're joking.

Someone's signed up into my DM. Hello? No, I haven't. But what if they're really hot? Would you do it though? The thing is, I think to myself, do they really look like that? Would you do it, though? The thing is, I think to myself, do they really look like that?

Then for us being in entertainment, it's like you just don't know what their intentions are. Do you know what I mean? Are you going to go out and they're going to turn up and take a picture? Oh, I went on a date. I met Judy on DM. And screenshot the whole conversation.

You just don't know what people's intentions are. And I think because I am a comedian, I think that guys are a little bit more scared of me. I bet they're intimidated. I don't know what people's intentions are. And I think because I am a comedian, I think that guys are a little bit more scared of me. I bet they're intimidated as hell. I don't know why. I think they think that I'm going to, like, talk about our relationship or something like that, which I don't do, really.

No, not really. Not really. Do you use any of the other dating apps? I have done Plenty of Fish back in the days. Plenty of Fish? Back in the days. That is quite old school. That was... The garage days.

Yeah. That was like years ago. I was like, let me see what this worked out to be. It was a hot mess. It was not Plenty of Fish. It was Plenty of Darts. What was the set up of Plenty of Fish? Was it just like... A mess. It was a hot mess. I think you just matched. You went

through it and looked and you tapped who you liked. And I met It was a mess. I think you just matched. You went through it and looked and you tapped who you liked. And I met this guy one time. I did meet a guy from there and this guy had more gums

than teeth. Yeah. And it's just like he still had milk teeth. I don't know. That I realised like each their own but the thing is

if I had pre-warning the pictures I realised he was doing like a little smile, but with his mouth closed. So obviously when I met him and he was talking, I was like, hold on a minute, Mitch, what is that in your mouth? So, you know, it was a bit awkward.

Try and think my first thing. My first thing, I was in LA about eight years ago filming a show with Kelly Brooke, and we were both absolutely shit faced and got naked and put on turbans and glasses and did chat roulette oh my god oh my god is that still going he forgot about that did you put that on your Instagram no oh do you remember chat roulette it's the fucking grimmest thing on the whole of the internet it's like skypes but with random people that just pop up

oh yes so a lot of dicks just pop up oh my gosh is that what you did yeah so it was just us with our tits out

and people would be like hey oh wow yeah the internet I tell you what it's a place what's your first

what's your first go on the internet what do you mean my first go what's your first What's your first go On the internet What do you mean my first go What's your first go In anything like sexy Have a hotel What Do you not remember

Have a hotel No Oh my god Well I don't think It's really sexy I feel like I need To be taking notes Have a hotel

Have a hotel Was a online chat room But you had your own avatar And you'd walk around And you'd start speaking To people And then you'd go off Into private rooms And people would have Like yes text sex is that how it's

going to be I don't know how long ago I think it's still going a chat room but you change it into the anyway that was my first wow I'm kind of gonna I feel like we need to have a go on this and like actually record it we'll bring it back? I'm really up for doing that. I got a message the other day in my DM from a guy and it said, Judy, if you need some young energy to give orders and body worship you, baby oil massage all over, my pleasure. Definitely holler me if you're in a whatsoever area. And he says, trust me, I've got big hands and they want you.

Yeah, I'm not a young G hope to see you soon I mean I don't know why I mean that's hot that is isn't it I don't think that's saying go for it

that is isn't it oh fuck it sitting here thinking sitting here thinking why am I doing this to myself why why am I reading the text

why am I just reading oh I had a message I should have been like I got a man because he sent me this message. And he's got massive hands.

That's what I want to help. I mean it's quite weird because that is I mean it's bold as brass isn't it? Someone going in with a message like that. Very.

And I do wonder like what the rate is of like the success rate of something like that is. In regards to Pretty low I think. Oh I can't see their page is blocked. regards to... Pretty low, I think. Oh, I can't see.

Their page is blocked. Oh. Well, not blocked, but I don't find it... I know, but let's sort of see. Come on. Let's have a look. Is that a face?

I'm sorry, he's like so fit. Don't read that. It's profile time. I won't. You are insane. Oh, my God. What is wrong with you? I'm like...

You've got homework, Judy. And that's to get boned by those... Oh, my God. You've got to you? I'm like, do this. You've got homework, Judy. And that's to get boned by those girls. Oh my God, you've got to follow him. I came on a podcast and now I've got homework. Have you received

anything else from men? Do you know what? One of my first ones on my Facebook was a guy saying, I want to black own you. Ooh. Yeah,

it was a white guy. What does that mean? I don't know. I don't think it was anything racist. I think he just liked black women. Yeah. And does that mean? I don't know. I don't think it was anything racist. I think he just liked black women. Yeah. And he wanted to, I don't know,

maybe he thought he was being sassy and sexy. I think he just wanted to, I don't know. It was definitely something sexual because he was like love hearts and it was nice. It was nice. I want to own your ass. Yeah, I want to black own you. Then I was like, hold on, do you want me to be a slave?

Maybe it's worth a little bit. A little bit indirect racism. So I was like, wow, okay, great. Take care. What about like really horrible things? Has anyone threatened to kill you? I've probably had that, yeah. Probably had someone like, oh yeah, when I see you,

I'm going to punch you and stuff like that. And I'm like, oh, yeah, when I see you, I'm going to punch you. Oh, nice. And stuff like that. And I'm like, well, okay, babes. I'm a mama, so my hands are fast. Yeah. Well, you've got those big hands as well. It's got those big hands to protect me. But you know what?

With those ones, I just don't take it on because unfortunately, the world we live in, you don't need a DM for anybody to tell you they're going to attack you. It could happen anywhere. Well, exactly. You know, you could just piss off the wrong person. But if I'm honest,

it tends to happen in the internet because they're living behind the scenes. I do remember one time I had this guy I performed somewhere and he didn't like my comedy. I don't know where it was. It was just something he didn't like. He was at the place and then he decided to message me

and tell me he didn't like it. Cool. And then he he tried to message me and tell me he didn't like it that's cool and he decided to message me again and tell me he didn't like it what did he just say i didn't what did he say were you actually performing at the time no literally as i've got off oh god it was it wasn't the whole set it was just like one particular part he didn't feel like i was speaking good about men or something and he started to tell me again and And I thought... And then I realised the dude was actually at the show. So I was like, oh, my gosh, he was actually at the show. And then you've got...

It's been blocked. You've now got a next account to come and tell me that you didn't. Like, I was like... A bit frightening leaving that night. No, no, no. That was... I'd already left. No, I don't fear nothing.

Whatever's supposed to be would be. That, no, no. That was, I'd already left. No, I don't fear nothing. Whatever's supposed to be would be. That's how I live. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber One for students.

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Get more everything with FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Visit connectsontario.ca. Okay, so I just want to sort of go back to the fact that being a female comedian, I mean, I'm a female chef, and the thing that pisses me off the most is, like, having to be bracketed within that and actually becoming part of your identity. But when it comes to dating, you know, you've already said it sort of can be inhibiting are you prepared to share any examples of like how it's been on dates that where people are just

like freaked out or yeah I've had like guys approach me oh it's really nice guy approached me about a year ago actually you know you meet somebody you think oh god there's a little vibe there and he actually said I really want to try and check you up, but I'm just so nervous as a comedian that if I do something wrong, you're going to diss me on stage and it's just going to make me paranoid. I was like, get a grip.

Yeah, exactly. I thought to myself, don't come over here with your short back and side looking all crisp like a piece of, you know what I mean? Strawberry dipped in chocolate and you're going gonna come with that lime like come on

get a backbone like it's yes it's Julia Love and all that but obviously I'm not on stage if I'm alright don't piss me off

but you know so I think there's that element and then I've had guys say come back months later oh I actually did like you

but I didn't know if you like I thought you just flirt with everybody what? yeah like because I'm a comedian I'm confident they just assume Oh, I actually did like you, but I didn't know if you liked... I thought you just flirt with everybody. What? Yeah. Like, because I'm a comedian, I'm confident.

They just assume I flirt with everybody. But I bet you you're, like, actually... Are you quite shy when it comes to boys? Yeah, I can be quite shy, yeah, especially if it's someone I like. I think I've got much more confident in the sense of, like, having a conversation with them. Like, back in the days, I would not... If I liked a guy, you wouldn't even know. I'd just be so nervous.

So now I can have a conversation with guys. So, yeah, I'm definitely a little bit more confident. So it's either that or they're not sure, so you're kind of in the friend zone kind of area. Or you get ones that are just like, oh, God, yeah. We're going to talk about your advice you give on your videos on YouTube, Real Talk. Real Talk, yeah.

And you know how that started? That was someone sending me a message and it was a white male, actually, and he was saying, look, I like black women. How do I approach them? And I was like, oh, like any other woman. We're normal. But it was quite sweet. He's just like, I really like black women. I've always liked black women,

but where I grew up, there wasn't many. And I've moved and I just want to make sure I'm not saying anything or doing anything that, you know, culturally. I said, well, firstly, there's different. There's West Indian, there's African, there's British born, you know. And then I just did a video and was like, look, you know, just make sure you've got a job. Okay, brother. Teeth are clean, shoes are look, you know, just make sure you've got a job. Okay, brother. Teeth are clean, shoes are clean, you don't smell like potatoes. And compliment us on our hair or our skin tone or something that's quite personal, eye shapes, whatever. And then just have a good stimulating conversation.

So just like normal. Yeah, just like normal. But I think it was nice. It was a nice feeling that someone felt comfortable enough to come to ask me something like normal. But I think it was nice. It was a nice feeling that someone felt comfortable enough to come to ask me something like that. And then from there, I started to get loads. Oh, I had a real serious one where a lady actually had an affair on holiday and she went to Gambia.

And so she was worried because obviously her husband are both white. And so she was worried because obviously her husband are both white. And so she was worried about what she should do. So I said to her, well, firstly, go and have some sexual health checks. Secondly to that, you need to tell your husband. And she did update me. She did tell her husband. He did stick by her. The baby was actually theirs.

Oh, my God. I thought I had to respond to that! I know! I was like, wow! But the fact that this is great that people are coming to you and asking you this. Yeah, I still get messages now because Real Talk, we did it for three years.

We stopped this year because I had other commitments, radio shows and stuff. But I still get, you know, I do my DLM's on my radio show, so I still get stuff now. Well my DLM's on my radio shows so I still get stuff now well we're going to give you some I think we want some advice

so we've had a few people get in contact looking for advice in regards to dating online dating the first one is from an anonymous

female friend who had a date with an ex-jihadi terrorist what? the story is I was chatting with this quite hot guy on Bumble

he did a brag where he said he told me he was about to do an interview on is, I was chatting with this quite hot guy on Bumble. He did a brag where he said he told me he was about to do an interview on BBC Radio. I was like, you're chatting on BBC? He was like, yeah. I did some Googling and found out that he used to be a jihadi terrorist. That now helps young kids not to go down that route. The date was quite good, but I don't think he approved of my morals. We didn't kiss.

Right. Okay, well, the good thing that she's saying is he used to be yeah he used to be he used to be and he's now helping the community he's reformed everyone can have a second chance however she's stating that there was a conflict in regards to her morals and his morals and that seems to be a clash i think we've always got to be honest with ourselves. When you meet someone, you go on a date, you know deep down whether something's not going to work. Like, if it comes to things like morals, then that's a real serious problem because to have a child, get married,

these are the things that you need. Like, if it's just like, oh, I don't like the hairstyle or the clothes style, those are things that can be changed, but you can't change someone's morals. Well, I hope you can't. So I'd say to a sister, keep it moving. And you didn't kiss, keep it moving. I don't kiss on the first date anyway, but keep it moving.

Do you kiss on the first date? I kiss on the first date, yeah. I'm trying to be honest. I haven't kissed anyone on the first date. How many dates till the kiss? I don't, I need to, see, I need to see what your life, if I'm speaking to you and I can, like, I've spoken to you for like three weeks,

and I hear like maybe, you know, you phone me in the morning, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was going to speak to you, but I'm getting in the shower. And then when I speak to you at night, he's like, I'm tired, but I'm brushing my teeth and talking to you. And I know like, okay, this guy's like hygiene level. I can see he brushes his teeth in the morning. I need to speak to you and see what your routine is like

and then I'll feel a little bit more comfortable. But then with a brandy and that woo woo woo all out the window yeah anything is possible so Judy I was going to

ask for some advice on something that happened to me hi Sydney hope you're well my name is Patrick I'm an art director and I'm in LA on a business trip

I saw your pics on Instagram which is also where I got your email I hope I'm not being too rude in asking but I was wondering if you were available as an escort I'm not being too rude in asking, but I was wondering if you were available as an escort.

I'm staying at a luxury hotel. Thanks, Patrick. Wow, Patrick. Wow. Patrick said that in such a professional way. It's so professional. Look at it. Look at the paragraph.

Oh, my gosh. This is real. Yes. Patrick. What would you say to Patrick? I would say oh hell no Patrick

I would say I need a deposit what I need is a deposit right I should have I need a little deposit and then

I will get back to you and I'll be gone oh my gosh I'd be like why did you think that was it the pictures I don't know

I'd just I'd find it quite funny to be honest with you I mean you could sort like why did you think that was it the pictures I don't know I'd just I'd find it quite funny to be honest with you I mean you could sort of like can you be that offended yes yes

he said it in such a nice way and I think but it's a luxury hotel bit it's like that was seal the deal seal the deal and you're like how luxury were we talking

I didn't well I didn't really I didn't write a reply did you not reply well I did an open reply and a kind of like you know. Thanks for contacting me.

No, no, I just posted it on Instagram with my open reply. And what did you say? What did you say? Oh, it's long. Oh, come on. Dear Patrick, Firstly, I'd like to congratulate you on indeed offending me despite your intent. I think it's safe to say that I hope I'm not being too rude,

but sits very comfortably alongside club classics such as I'm not being racist, but, and I'm not being too rude, but sits very comfortably alongside club classics such as I'm not being racist, but and I'm not sexist, but. All comments which we know very well are followed by something rude, racist or sexist. The fact that you have added in two makes me think you are aware of this, but just wanted to check the measure of my rudometer to avoid flying off the scale. Unfortunately for you, Patrick, you have flown into another dimension entirely. And it goes on. She's good. I fear it may come

as a bit of a surprise for you, but Instagram, unlike Pornhub, is not a collection of imagery and videos for your sexual pleasure. It's not the eBay of the sex industry. Anyway, I ended up

just sending him a picture of me with my finger up, asking him to art direct that. Oh, wow. When you put that post up, did you tag him in? No, because I don't know,

I don't have his account. Oh, because it was an email. Because he emailed have his account. Oh, because it was an email. Because he emailed me from Instagram. Oh, my. So Patrick could still be following me. I don't know. He might block me. I don't know.

Where is Patrick? Call out to find Patrick. Call out to find Patrick. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, no, that is offensive. And I think you did the right thing. So if anybody is an art director out there called Patrick? Then, yeah, you're blocked, bitch.

You're blocked. Oh, my days. And the thing is, it's like, what, if you do dress a little bit sexy or, you know, you're posing in a nice way on your Instagram, does that necessarily mean that you just want to give it up? And this is unfortunately what sometimes social media, it changes the perception. It's so hard because you should be able to feel comfortable and sexy and put up a nice picture without being felt like,

oh, well, she obviously wants to give out something. You just want to enjoy looking gorgeous. I can hire her. You know what I mean? No, but you should have just sent a dick pic. You know what I mean? But you took it a bit further and wanted to send some cash. Well, Sydney gets the best of this.

I mean, I'm actually genuinely devastated some cash well Sydney gets the best of this I mean I'm actually genuinely devastated and jealous of her you want Patrick well I don't necessarily want Patrick but she's been offered to be a financial slave

right you want someone to pay for it you want someone to offer to pay we just want money I'm like come on guys I do get a lot of crude shit

but I've never been there's never been money offered to shows knickers and socks and shoes I've been asked for those people's money offered to Nickers and socks and shoes I've been asked for those People's asking for your knickers and socks

Do you know what there is my friend was telling me online I don't know what it's called but there's like a thing where people sell

used knickers Have you heard of this? Yeah They did it in Orange is the New Black didn't they? Wow They were selling them

out of the prison to like get money for heroin. Is this what Miller asked you for? Yeah. How did they ask you? Just straight up? Just like literally a post off a P.O. box,

which I didn't even know still existed. Oh, wow. And please send any used underwear, socks. It's called the Panty Trust, apparently. Wow. And to pop it in his P.O. box. Imagine how many pants are in that box. Is a P.O. box a box, right?

The P.O. box itself is disturbing. The person who runs the P.O. box facility must be walking around saying, I can smell pussy. I don't know where, but there's pussy. The pussy box. Everywhere. Shove that in your PO box. Oh my God.

That is madness. That's absolutely crazy. So, look, we've come to the end. No! I know! But thank you so much

for coming on. I really, actually I'm insisting you go on that date and I want to hear all about it. Okay. It would be great

if we could feedback on that. I'll think to hear all about it it would be great if we could feed back on that I'll think about it definitely I've been on some nice dates though I've been on some dates with some guys

who like they've pushed out the bar but you know it's like it's so much they've you know massive hundreds

for meals big Lamborghinis and you're just like I'm like wow oh my gosh see now I'm in a fury. I think the worst is I had this guy

take me out and he had a beautiful Lamborghini and I had a really old W-Ridge, like BMW and it was, that time it was going

clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack and I parked it further away from where he dropped me and then I ran round and got in my car but when I got in my car I'd left something like a book or something in his car so he was phoning me saying oh you've

left your book like I'm outside your house but he wasn't outside my house because I made him drop me somewhere and act like that was my house and then I was like oh um and I didn't want him to come to my house so I said all right I'll you. So you can hear this Lamborghini in the background. I said, I think I'll drive to you. I can hear you. So as I was driving, I was on the phone to him. And he was like, oh, I can't see you. I can just hear some brought down car coming.

Are you behind that? And I was like, no, it's me. So next to him, he was there going with his car. And I turned up next to him going, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. I was so embarrassed. He looked at me and was like, I remember them days. I was there. I was there going, with his car. And I turned up next to him going, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. I was so embarrassed. He looked at me, he was like, I remember them days. I was there, I was there. Don't worry about it.

I was there. I drove off, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack. He spent like hundreds on meals. Well, that is a brilliant thing to end on. I don't really know how we're going to improve on that. Thank you so, so much. Thank you. Thank you very much for coming on. You beautiful ladies are amazing how we're going to improve on that. Thank you so so much. Thank you. Thank you very much

for coming on. You beautiful ladies are amazing. Oh, stop it. You are. Thank you for listening to our Spotify original podcast, Sex Lies and DM Slides. Please follow us on Spotify and tell all your mates about it if you enjoyed it. And if you have any weird or wonderful sex lies and DM slides stories of your own, do slide into

our DMs at Sydney Lima and at Gizzy Erskine. No dick pics, please. Also follow us on Twitter and Instagram at Sex Lives DM Slides. This Spotify original podcast is a Hayden Prowse production produced by Amanda Redmond, edited by Matt and Scott at PodMonkey. With music by Free Seed Films, our executive producers at Spotify are Rachel Simpson and Alexandra Ady.