Sex, Lies & DM Slides - S1E22: Gizzi & Sydney | Beam Me Up Softboi & Paige Woolen

Episode Date: October 10, 2022

Iona Erskine, the brain behind the incredibly popular Instagram account beam_me_up_softboi, comes on the show. She explains to Sydney & Gizzi exactly what a Soft Boi is and consoles them when they realise all of their ex-boyfriends may have, in fact, been Soft Bois. Then model Paige Woolen tells us about her exploits as a vigilante DM Slider, stress testing the willpower of boyfriends for their suspicious other halves.  Sex, Lies and DM Slides is a Spotify Original. This series was produced by Heydon Prowse Productions, edited by Podmonkey with music by Free Seed Films. For Spotify, the executive producers are Rachel Simpson and Alexandra Adey. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, my name's Gizzy Erskine. And I'm Sydney Lima, and this is Sex, Lies and DM Slides. Where we invite our celebrity friends to dive deep into their DM boxes to see what terrors lurk within. We'll be chatting about online trolls, online dating, perverted proposals and why everyone's so weird on social media. Sex and Lies and DM Slides. This podcast contains adult content,

graphic details of our sex lives, and the filthy contents of our inboxes. You have been warned. I'm going back to university for $0 delivery fee, up to 5% off orders, and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber One for students.

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to customize your casino page with our new favorite and recently played games tabs. And to top it all off, quick and secure withdrawals. Get more everything with FanDuel Sportsbook and Casino. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600. Visit connectsontario.ca. Hello there, Sydney. Welcome back to another episode of Sex Lies and DM Slides.

I'm your host, Sydney Lima. And I am your other host, because yes, good. I forgot about you. So what what you been up to Sid well I've actually just been like messaging back someone who's dm'd me for once I've actually messaged them back okay go on it's just the opener was so good is this a lesson on how to dm someone yeah basically it's just so good okay oh gosh like it's already making me feel a bit off she's that smattering her chest like she's having heart flutters right good morning my angel i hope yes sorry good i was like okay good morning my angel i hope you had sweet dreams i had a bloody weird one last night i went to sainsbury's to get some shopping anyway the next morning i opened up my weetabix with brekkie

and they were all broken. I must confess, I don't mind broken Weetabix, especially, you know, the last few in the packet. All that wheaty, crummy goodness is quite nice anyway. I'm rambling. The point I'm making is I'm boycotting Sainsbury's now just in case my dream becomes reality. Just thought I'd update you.

Anyway, better get up and get a brew. I'm working soon. Hope my fucking Weetabix aren't broken. Have a wonderful day, my darling. You deserve it. Wow. Desperate times for desperate measures. Come on. So I replied, happy to see all your Weetabix were in one piece because he sent me a video of his Weetabix. That does sound like something that could happen at Sainsbury's. I don't think Waitrose would have ever offered up such devastation. I remember reading somewhere that the cost of Weetabix could rise significantly with Brexit. Let's hope they don't get more broken up.

We don't want another EU situation on our hands. Have a wonderful day. So it's just been back and forth like this. Just updating each other on our day. It's really nice. I like it. Yeah. And it's good humoured.

I think it's very funny. Yeah. Let me see what he looks like. He's saying his bio is cult classic, not bestseller. He's kind of fit. I'm obviously not going to... Oh, I don't know. He's fit.

I like him. Actually, no, I'm into it. What? Yeah. Okay, well, if you're listening, I can't name you

for legal reasons, but if you're listening, Gizzy is up for meeting you. No, not me. For you. Maybe we can all meet. It's far too young for me. Anyway, Gizzy,

what have you been doing? I got a DM as well. I've had two really alarming ones. The first one that came in was from this... I mean, I don't even know if I should be responding to him, to be completely honest. Oh, God, what's he done? He sounds really young.

So he slid into my DMs just going, you're so hot. So I respond to him saying, thank you, you're so young. Maybe I respond to him saying, thank you. You're so young. Maybe, but I am sagacious, which I had to look up. So sagacious in the dictionary means having or showing good judgment, wise or shrewd. I'm like, bloody hell.

Like this kid's literally about 15. So I'm like, I can't argue with that. Your avi picture is so stunning. Avi? Yeah. Avi? Avatar? Avatar. Avatar. avatar yeah then he comes back going a compliment's restricted on age how old do you have to be before i can show you some

appreciation i live in a small village in the west country i don't know people no vices don't drink don't smoke my own real chance of seeking beautiful women is online i just look and occasionally offer an appreciative comment i don't even expect replies if i've offended you in any way i sincerely apologize but you are damn beautiful that's fucking great wait but so his whole bio thing is friendly dm so he just goes around sending nice nice messages bless him well that Really sweet. So I've got another one which came in, which was very also probably the most... I really want to reply to it.

I think we should reply to it. I was waiting for you. He says... First of all, he slides into my DMs on the 8th of September with a little smiley face man with the love heart eyes and then an innocent halo. Oh, nice. And he slides into my DMs on Friday saying, what's your perfect penis?

And then waits. Is that why you've been drawing penises on the piece of paper in front of you? Literally, if you can see this, since we started recording, there's two penises drawn on a piece of paper. The script. I might be quite horny. I'm just putting that out there so then he says please though will you look at mine and be brutally honest and i'm like i kind of want to say yeah and this kind of leads into really well into our guest today you're a dick spurt

yeah gives you her skin chef and dick spurt. So I kind of want to reply to him and say, because basically our guest today is Paige Willen. If you haven't heard of Paige, she is an Instagram model who sends DMs to men's girlfriends to test if they've been faithful or not. Honey trapping, is that what that is? It's called honey trapping. Honey trapping.

So half of me wanted to go out there and like say sure if you send a picture of your dick I want your face in it and then I was going to be like

I've thought about this a lot by the way then I was going to be like right now if you do this to anyone else I'm going to post

this picture of you all over the internet with your fucking face in it why because you don't slide into someone's DMs and ask to show their penis oh yeah i guess that's the whole point of our podcast i'm like why not oh yeah oh yeah i mean this is wrong so normal to us now this is how fun it is he did ask you first for permission for still i. I don't want to be seen. So you wanted to shame this poor penis man.

Poor penis man. Imagine if he had a little micro penis. So where are you at with it then? Well, nothing. I was going to wait for you. Because this is the thing. So Paige Willen is this model. She frames these guys.

She honey traps them. And I was about to, like, not honey trap this guy, quite the opposite. I just wanted to expose him for being a bit of a pervert. So is honey trapping acceptable? I don't know if it's ever acceptable i mean i don't i don't think i think it's unfair i mean he did ask oh god am i being completely wrong am i being am i being unwoke is that i don't know i mean be unwoke i think that's kind of what we're here to talk about tell me your immediate feelings i don't know i don't think i think it's a bit wrong

isn't it or maybe it's not no it's not i don't know gizzy i't know. I don't think, I think it's a bit wrong, isn't it? Or maybe it's not. No, it's not. I don't know, Gizzy. I think I need to speak to her and like work out how I feel about it. Yeah. It depends how far she's going to ensnare them. Is kind of her messaging them, like someone could see it as like an extension of porn, like just to then dabble in like messaging back and forth the thing about honey trapping is pretty much what you just said there to me which is that you're you know if i respond to this guy even though he's slid into my dms being a pervert i'm now taking this to the next level so now we've suddenly engaged in a transaction of conversation so then that suddenly puts the power into my hands slightly but giving him permission to respond so even though i want him to respond to humiliate him which is essentially what she's doing here but in a much different way she's doing it in a vigilante way essentially to try and get these these women the real truth about what's going on with their

partners so the difference with honey trapping is she's sliding into their dms first on a pretence she's a beautiful woman yeah and she's really beautiful, amazing figure, proper Instagram model. You just did figure, but you went straight to the tits. Very horny today. I really am. And she is then deliberately trying to expose them. Is that okay? Well, that's what I'm saying. It's like, I don't know what her process is,

and I don't know if, are the girlfriends going to her, well, obviously they are, asking for like some kind of help. Like what's like the, what have they done in beforehand? Like what are they guilty of so far? It would be really interesting to find that out. Bloody ask her, Gizzy. Should we ask her?

Let's ask her. Let's get on with this then. Ring, ring. Sex and lies and DM slides. Got any slides? Thanks so much for having me on. We're very excited to have you on. It was quite good because you messaged us on our Sexualized DM Sides Instagram telling us about what you do with dudes in the DM.

Can you tell our listeners a bit more about it? So I started dudes in the DM almost a year ago. I just sort of wanted to shed light on cyberbullying and the kinds of things that are being said in the DM. I wanted to show kind of like that side of Instagram. So I just wanted to, you know, post my messages. And then it sort of evolved into different things that happen in there. And I wanted to shed light on all of that. Can you just let us know the sort of messages you were getting? I mean, I get all sorts of funny messages. I get pickup lines. You know, I get threats. I get people picking apart my body. I get fun ones. I get scary ones. I get all sorts

of crazy DMs. And I also post, you know, from other models, other girls, boys, anything that's sort of bizarre, I'll post on there. And then I've sort of built a community around, you know, seeing these messages and kind of supporting each other. And, you know, sometimes we report the really bad accounts and we sometimes get them taken down. So what made you want to go from someone kind of showing up bullying behavior to then become a cheating boyfriend hunter? So, you know, one Friday night after many a glass of wine, I was frustrated because I love that. I saw that. Yeah, right. The wine always helps. I you know, I was noticing that a lot of the guys that DM me on my personal Instagram, which is, you know, on the sexier side, I'm posting in lingerie and swimsuits.

I noticed that a lot of the men on there had their wives or girlfriends in their profile photos. And I thought, you know, that's really frustrating for me. So I went on to my second account and I posted a story and I said, hey, you know, if you want to see if your boyfriend would sort of entertain an Insta girl, DM me on that account and we can chat with him on my account and see sort of what he says. That's a bold move, isn't it? So how did these women react? You know, it was very surprising.

I'm the kind of girl I think I wouldn't want to know maybe, which I think says something about me. But I was surprised at how many women, you know, wanted, said, you know, let's go now. Let's do it. So I was like, oh, gosh, okay. You know, I messaged probably around 60 guys that night. Wow. A lot of wine. Yeah. A lot of wine.

Yeah, a lot of wine. I know we're talking two bottles deep and I'm like, wait, what's happening? But yeah, I messaged a ton. The girls were like, you know, I feel like I'm friends with all of them now. They were just so, they wanted to just see what it was. Maybe they had like a hunch that he was being sketchy or, you know, a couple of them were pregnant. And, you know, it was all sorts of crazy situations. So what kind of proof did they already have about these these cheating boyfriends? You know, I didn't even ask. So you just went on full attack.

Yeah, well, OK, so I would my opening line was always high with a winky face. OK, so, you know, winky face means DTF. You what I mean I'm so naive by the way I just like I would never have known that is that really is that really sort of emoji talk is down to fuck yeah that and an aubergine I think yeah okay but the aubergine I get is that true a winky face generally means you're down to fuck I think if it's the opening line I would think so. What do you guys think? Definitely. Really? Now you know too, you know, if you're DTF, you can just send over that winky face and you're in business. That would be my opening line. And

you know, the girls were comfortable with that. And then from there, it really was like a collab with each woman. It was like, okay, he said this, what do you want me to say back? I didn't want them to feel like I was like actually flirting with them. And I wanted them to have sort of full control over, you know, what was going on. If that makes sense. Yeah, completely. So they were kind of essentially messaging their boyfriends, but for your, for your 2021 stuff. So just to sort of go back slightly, would you call this honey trapping? Because you're actually putting something out there where you're actually going to get the information. Or do you think it's only the people that actually slid into your DMs in the first place that you wanted to trap?

You know, I don't know what the definition of honey trapping is. But I think it's more like it was a curiosity to see if your boyfriend or your loved one would entertain the situation. And, you know, like I would never meet up with them or take it past any point of it being weird. And so I think it was just a general curiosity. Like these Instagram models are sort of these strange creatures. And it's like, oh, you know, would my boyfriend entertain it or would they not? Not necessarily cheat, but it's like, oh, how are they going to handle this situation? And a lot of men ignored me, which I loved.

Yeah. Good. How far did these conversations go? Out of 60, I think only one ended up breaking up with her boyfriend. I think there was only one breakup out of 60. And, you know, she was about to move in with him and he was really just not good. You could just tell that he was just, no, no, I don't have a girlfriend. Oh, let's meet up ASAP. Like that. She said, you know, you saved me from this really big mistake, which I was like, oh gosh, I would, I just wouldn't like me afterwards. But you know, she's more evolved for sure. Yeah. I mean, you're offering a service. I think people go in with their eyes wide open, surely. Yeah, you would hope, but it's still hard. I mean, you know, I cried throughout.

I mean, maybe it was alcohol, but I cried throughout the process because I'm like, my intention was never to like ruin someone's relationship. And so it's like, you know, what part am I playing in that? You know, I got asked a lot, like, is it entrapment? And I'm like, you know, I don't know. I don't know. I'm just trying to help out the girls. So I'm just reading out some of the bits

from the Daily Mail article. And you've posted, if anyone wants to know if their boyfriend is faithful, I will DM them from my main account at page Willem for free. And so then somebody's come into your DM box and said, this is called entrapment and it's illegal with a winky face.

That's a confusing message. You've never heard of it. Now I know what that means. So a confusing message you've never heard now i know what that means so and then you've obviously got one from women saying not all heroes wear capes and then some people being mean going i don't want to sign up to your only fans and some but also some boys immediately getting like really defensive saying why are you dming me are you a prostitute yeah gosh gosh so one's saying hi you're saying hi and then the other person's replying hi with a winky face what's up and you said just thought you were cute and i was hoping we could meet up if you're single he said well

i'm single enough do you have snapchat what's single enough me that's horrible horrifying single enough did you get kind of moved on to a lot of snapchats then you know I was not like oh yeah here it is or anything like that sort but but I do get many a dick pic in my snap you know I can't open my snapchats in a public place because I think I'll be charged with sexual harassment because my phone just has like big dicks everywhere how many dick pics do you receive on a daily basis you know if i post a photo you know with my boobs there in the in the photo i probably get like not a ton maybe seven to twelve and a half you know i don't know how much it's quite a lot per post it is quite a lot how do you handle a dick pic and also what do you think the psychology is

behind the fact that they feel that it's OK to send you a dick pic? You know, the dick pic conundrum, it's a tough thing because I think some men, I think some men do it to harass us. I think some men are proud where they say, you know, look, it's like when a cat kills a bird and they drag it to your feet. I think that's kind of what the dick pic is, right? It's like, oh, look, this is your prize. I gave this to you. Like, you know, aren't you so proud of it? So I think there's both ends of the spectrum. And I think that, you know, Instagram has been trying to tackle this issue. You know, I was speaking with them about the whole situation. And so they,

I'm sure you guys have noticed this, where now when you get a photo that's not from your friend, you can click it. And at first it's blurry. So you can sort of make out what it is. Yeah, they did that because there were so many inappropriate photos going around. So you can sort of screen the photo and you're like, literally my brain now works like, is this a dick or is this not a dick? What blurry. Like a Saturday night, family Saturday night show. Exactly. Right. I know it should be on, it should be on like primetime. And so it, I,

you know, appreciate that from Instagram because it is kind of draw. I mean, you guys receive them. I'm sure it's jarring when you first get one and you're trying to like brush your teeth or like focus on something and you're like, ah, penis. Back to the cheating boyfriends. Do you ever feel bad about exposing them? You know, I, yes, I, I, the whole thing I had a lot of feelings about and the thing I did not do was I didn't post anyone's name. That's like a big no-no for me. Even when I get, you know, bad, bad, um, DM, I don't post their app because one, you know, I guess it goes against community guidelines. I actually have had both of my accounts taken down since, you know, the Daily Mail articles and, you know, all the other articles came out. My accounts got reported so many times that they got shut down.

Whoa. And, you know, I pay, you know, a lot of my bills from Instagram. So I was horrified. And luckily I got both of my accounts back. But it was really sad. It's because so many people reported it at one time. Bloody hell. Now, I guess like the, you know,

I suppose that that's a risk with making this career move, but also it is part of your career. So it's kind of, it's a complicated feast. Has anyone ever clocked what you're doing? When you've been trying to expose them and try to kind of honey trap them, essentially. Have they ever kind of known your work from other situations they have they have and exactly that's my problem now i mean aside from you know the death threats which aren't fun a lot of people now are like oh yeah you're that girl like you're the girl that's doing

this and i know you or some guys have already followed my account dudes in the dm and they're like oh your account's so funny nice fucking try amazing well that should be a little bit of a nod to how well you're doing in your life i suppose like your career i'm certainly flattered yes yeah yeah absolutely one final question are you going to continue on as a vigilante dm? You know, I have goals to perhaps maybe have some sort of agency where I have girls do this that are kind of underground or maybe they don't have like, they have maybe a smaller following. So it's not so obvious or obviously it's not my name. So that could be an option, I think. So I think the moral of the story is don't cheat and don't be a dick and you won't have

anything to worry about. It's so true. Well, I literally support that. So nice to speak to you, Paige. Thank you so much for having me on. So that was Paige Woollen. I like her. She was actually pretty great.

She was a clever girl. It was kind of funny. And she had a conscience. So I guess clever girl. It was kind of funny. And she had a conscience, so I guess that's what you want out of that. Have you heard of that Instagrammer called Selena Powell? No. Well, she's kind of an influencer-y model who has been known to date a lot of rappers.

And what she does is she gets numbers of famous rappers, but she ends up kind of being flown out to say Snoop Dogg's hotel what? Snape's there for like three days like kind of getting on it and having sex

etc etc and then she goes on YouTube and she does this kind of tell all expose about her experience with them

and she'll say like a review yeah like a review but she's got a bit of a following now obviously from doing things like this I really want to get her on she sounds brilliant I think she did just get arrested she just got a bit of a following now, obviously, from doing things like this. I really want to get her on.

She sounds brilliant. I think she did just get arrested, though. She just got arrested for what? I don't know. It's an expose. Bad Trip Advisor reviews. She recently posted on her Instagram story that she had some exclusive sex tapes with Snoop Dogg, but they come at a hefty price.

Oh, wow. So that's an example of someone really monetising Instagram. So is this the one actually, it does ring a bell, was she the person that ended up actually, rappers now call her up to be on her show and exposed? It's not really a show.

It is good for her. I think it's like, I think because she's just fit, I think like that people will still have sex with her because you would have thought people would know by now, like all the rappers would know not to have sex with Selena. Yeah, I was going to say. I feel like there's a big no.

But clearly no one's, everyone just allows it for the sex. She shagged. I don't know how to say it. I'm starting to get a bit coy there. She did what? She shagged. She shagged.

Did she bonk? She slept with rapper 6ix9ine. And then she put the stuff on her OnlyFans. Wow. So, I mean, that means that the rappers know what they're signing up for to a point. We hope so. God. Her strapline for her OnlyFans is, drumroll please.

Watch me fucking suck academics, NBA and NFL players. Also get peed on by Jimmy Smacks. Subscribe for $5. 15% off. Following bundles. 15% off. Would you sign up? I mean, no.

I don't have... I mean, it's obviously come from Hayden. Hayden knows all about the OnlyFans. No, I wouldn't. I mean, look, let's look at it this way,

that that whole culture in America has now become, you know, I suppose Kardashians, we know that the way to fame is to sell a sex tape and this is just how the influencer the sex influencer or the i don't know it's like being able to sort of continue that way of monetizing to get a career i guess would you ever sell a sex tape absolutely not on your life probably because you're more into soft boys, which leads us into our next guest, as we're doing a double whammy this episode. Gizzy, what is a soft boy?

Okay, so I didn't know what a soft boy was when we did this interview. But now it's just been the most exposing interview we've ever done. It's just highlighted all of my love requirements. So there's a soft boy spectrum at one end it's just anyone who has any unique alternative interests that make you feel superior to other people at the other end it's quite hardcore emotional manipulative men who use his interest to really mess about with women or men so it's basically if you're a bit of a art twat and you and you like all of the creative stuff in life and you like poetry and you like art and you like good music and you like all of the creative stuff in life. And you like poetry. And you like art. And you like good music.

And you know about this stuff. It's somebody who's utilising that kind of intellect against you in order to fuck you. Basically, you're a highbrow fuckboy. So we found an Instagram account, which is kind of blowing up at the moment, called BeamMeUpSoftBoy. And basically, it shows all these DMs from said softboys. And me and Gizzy really realised we would fall for every single one of them so we've got iona uh on the line now and she's going to be talking about her account beam me up prime big deal days is coming october 8th and 9th with exclusive savings just for prime members involuntary deal squeals can happen, like the deal on new running shoes squeal.

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So on the line now is Iona Erskine. And Gizzy, is this your sister? I'm kind of in a fury. I'm like, I'm the only Erskine on the line now is Iona Erskine. And Gizzy, is this your sister? I'm kind of in a fury. I'm like, I'm the only Erskine on the radio. Are we related? I mean, probably. So if you don't already know, Softboy is a particular kind of guy on the dating scene, and you have met him.

But I'm going to let Iona explain this for you. Well, yeah, Softboy is basically a boy who uses his love of all things alternative but he uses them in a sometimes quite a nefarious way to try and get prospective sexual partners into bed it's like a roundabout way of describing it and there's many different kinds of soft boys there are some that are you know they just like the smiths and that's fine and then there are some who will say oh come. There are some that are, you know, they just like the Smiths and that's fine. And then there are some who will say,

oh, come round and let me show you the Smiths because you haven't heard of them. Let me just explain, like, all of the different B-sides and then, yeah, let things go from there. Oh, God, this is like my dream man. That's really bad. Have you ever met any soft boys? I used to think that I hadn't,

but now I realise that probably all of the guys I've ever gone for have been quite soft boyish. There's so many, though, like I said. I would say that there's like a spectrum, and then on one side of the spectrum, it's just anyone who wears Doc Martens and this is Radio Hell, and then on the other side, it can get quite nasty. There's some guys who are just um using like emotions and being open in a vertical was about their emotions but actually they're just sort of manipulating girls and it's not great or guys it is kind of like

the typical cliche that i think both sydney and i completely relate to like if you asked me to describe my dream boy it would be somebody who understood philosophy, was into all sorts of music, particularly the B-side, was able to sit with me over a glass of wine and explain the world to me, including some obscure bands, go to gigs, definitely needs to own a pair of DMs. And I'm a terrible cliche um so i don't know do you think soft boys can ever become soft men um i actually think that's a really good question i think for sure you can find you know the guy with everything that you want with all of the alternative clothes and everything and they can be um just mature about it and adults and not mansplain things to you

not try and manipulate you or walk the way that you've said. It's just, it's a very fine line. And I think the soft boys that you see on the account are mostly just trying to figure things out. And sometimes they just come across like massive twats while they're doing it. But for sure, you can be, you know, I get a lot of people saying like, oh, but what am I supposed to do? Like, I do really like all of these things and I am like alternative. But like, oh, and it's like, it's just don't be a twat about it um yeah what is it about women that makes us interested in these kind of guys it is the poetic ideology of love isn't it it really is like um you want you know these guys

often do like they're artists or musicians or writers or whatever and it's just so like poetic especially if you've grown up like like, watching Skins and stuff. You're just like, oh, this is ideal. Like, he can write a song about me. If that's all that he's doing, then it's really not worth it, is what I've discovered. OK, so come on, I'm assuming loads of women, like, slide into your DMs exposing some of these men.

Is that how it works? Yeah, no, there's so many. There's one about Pulp Fiction that really just gets me. I think it's like, they're talking about Shrek and it's on Tinder. And she's like, oh, I say Shrek's probably my favourite film. And he's like, it's just not very enjoyable. Like, there are actually much better films out there. Please tell me you've watched Pul fiction oh wow condescending and annoying but like i we've all been there yeah i've just

found one on your account which is quite like which is um sent firstly at 12 11 a.m i imagine that you smell like cigarettes and avocados you kind of look like my cousin i mean that's so funny you kind of get the sense that he's just kind of throwing everything out there seeing what what will stick her breath polish lager and cigarettes her neck sweet fruit perfume not too expensive our future together i'm not a liberty to say that is it it's so funny I mean you ask is there any soft men

like surely surely that guy can't be older than like 17 it's really shocking to see that some of these guys

are actually like 30 you should have grown out of that by now but I mean this is a brilliant one you look absolutely

bang tidy you're one of the good cunts and I'm sorry for calling you a bitch. Would be ping if we could listen to Gary Newman unplugged or slash a coffee. Oh my God, I just found this one. It's offended me.

Don't be sad. Life is wonderful. Next message. LMAO, are you one of those emotionally distraught women who hasn't figured out her purpose yet? That really hit home. Oh my god. No, you can't pay attention to these ones because you just can tell that they've like spent

maybe a little bit too much time on Reddit. You know, it's kind of like the nice guy stereotype. Like, I'm doing everything right and I'm so emotional but like oh, they're still not shagging me. I'm sure part of your account means that you know, you are having people sliding into your DMs anyway for content, I suppose. Yeah.

But do boys ever slide into your DMs trying to chat you up with their same kind of ridiculousness that you're exposing? Actually, no. I think they're all too scared. I think they're just a little bit terrified that, like, I don't really get any of that on this account. I don't know. It still baffles me how people find guys like some of these ones that like, I don't really get any of that on this account. I don't know.

I just, it still baffles me how people find guys that like some of these ones are just like, oh, this one I've just found out. It's on Tinder going, I just want to spend my evening Snapchatting pictures of my ass and then new message. I just wish you cared, I guess. Where do you find them?

I think, I mean, people are, there's some very high people. What caused you to start the Softboy account? I think I was just kind of drunk with my friend and her boyfriend, who's like in a really solid relationship for like two years. And he just started like messaging her like pictures of different strains of weed, being like, check out how sick this is. Oh my God. And we were just kind of laughing which is kind of bad but then he was sending her links to like short films on youtube being like check this out and you could just tell

that he's really high and it was really funny um so i screenshotted it and put it on my instagram story and i was like send in your most indie soft boy text and like we'll see who wins and i got so many people sent them in that i was like this has to have its own platform. Have you received a soft boy message? No but I mean I really wish I would that is a surefire way to get me into bed to be completely honest I am that twat it's so bad to be honest this for me is it's a shame. It's once you think about it they um they really have been around for a while like I always think of um the obvious choice is like Shakespeare and stuff and then Shakespeare as a soft boy I love it it's such a soft boy and like Ted from How I Met Your Mother also a massive soft boy they've always been there they've just now got a platform I mean the interesting thing is I'm now

thinking of myself like is there such thing as a soft girl, you know? Because I probably do use some of these tactics too. Yeah, I think definitely there are soft girls. I would say that I'm a soft girl. I mean, I think everyone's just a bit of a soft boy. You can try and hide it, but it doesn't work. But it's just funnier when guys do it because they just tend to mess it up more often. So, you know, let's take the laughs aside. Like, how are we now meant to know what that fine line is of when somebody actually is educated and wants to showcase their knowledge?

Yeah. Is it just that this is it now? No, it's not at all. Like, it is really difficult. And I think it's especially important now as men's mental health and stuff is very important and being emotional and like well and like whatever your interests are like being able to be emotional and stuff in front of people that you're dating is very healthy and important and it's not like it's not a case of like you can't um do any of that without being like ridiculed it's just like when you start to think like oh well she should like me because I have all of these interests and they're the same as hers and like I'm really

emotionally available and stuff and then they kind of go oh but why doesn't she like me and then they get angry um and it's just kind of uh it's red flaggy it's not on in terms of dating behavior and that's when they'll get like exposed but if you can be mature like I get so many I actually get a lot of submissions that are of um just normal guys just saying like hey look you really, you really hurt me, or like explaining how they feel, and like people submit that, and I'm not going to post it because that's really healthy and should be encouraged. Like there's definitely ways that you can be well-read

and into whatever you want. Like it's not, I don't know, it is difficult. It's kind of the smugness that is the line, isn't it? It's the, you know, there's one thing showing, oh, wicked, we're into the same stuff. And oh my God, I could educate you on this because you might not know this song or blah, blah, blah. But to suddenly be, look, check me out

because I know all this shit and you, and actually I'm going to be really condescending in my delivery. Yeah, exactly. But then there's a lot of posts on the account that are not harmful. They just happen to be funny. It's just the guy shooting his shot or whatever, and it's just come off really funny.

And I always make sure to say if something's actually not on, there's a lot of guys that just seem like complete psychos. If it's actually not on, I'll say this is a red flag. You should really look out for this stuff. If someone starts saying this kind of stuff to you, you should call them out on it. But most of the stuff just happens to be funny in the moment, and it's nothing really to worry about. I don't think i should worry too much about um you know oh no i can't

like david bowie now because of this account or whatever yeah yeah i've just been quite silent because i've been trying to desperately find a soft boy message she's been frantically frantically scrolling but i've realized i think i've given it as good as I got. So I can't tell you. No, it's really useful because I'm often writing a really long paragraph about how, yeah, you've seen this film, but do you actually appreciate it? And then I'm like, hang on, would I post this if I got submitted it promptly? So how can people follow you? Give us your handle. It's at beammeupsoftboy with underscores in between all of the words.

I actually had one more question. Yeah, I mean, so in a way, I guess you've got to be careful because these are sort of the guys that you're into and you could be like shooting yourself massively in the foot for how these people are going to sort of react with you. I mean, you're anonymous to a point, right? Yeah. Or not?

I don't have my name or anything on my account. Oh shit, we just said your name. Fine, like, that's fine. And, you know, have you ever had anyone come back at you and really sort of, like, you know, you've posted something and it's like, no, fuck this, it's private. Has anyone ever, like, got in touch being like, please take that down, that's me?

It's never really the guy who's got in contact and said, please take it down. Normally the girl or never really the guy who's got in contact and said please take it down normally the girl uh or the boy or whoever has sent it in has said like oh they're actually really upset about it can you take it down and i like always take it down and in terms of anonymity like i would never like no one's name is on there it's all completely anonymous like in terms of what gets posted but if a guy gets like but if you guys get really angry at me obviously i take it down but it's such a small percentage of guys that I just think that... Fuck them.

Yeah. Don't do that. That's a lot of content. Yeah. So our toxic male producer, Hayden, has just thrown in with,

what would you do if you were a soft boy? Basically, he's saying, am I a soft boy? Yeah. I had this guy interview me as well and I did his final question which was like, I'm a bit worried now. And it's like, you I a soft boy? I had this guy interview me as well, and his final question was just like,

I'm a bit worried now. And it's like, you really just need to not stress. It's annoyingly, even by stressing about it, you're exhibiting some soft boy qualities. Move on. I mean, if I'm completely honest, I feel like I want to back the soft boy. I'm into them.

Oh my God, I'm so into them. It's actually a complete joke. Like I would like have this whole account and then like a few months later just have my life ruined by someone. By one of these people. Yeah. I mean, which is kind of what makes it all funny as well.

I think you should bring out some I love Softboy merch for me and Giddy. Yeah. I feel like I'd be utilising this as a dating site. We should. Yeah. Don't make it anonymous. Yes.

No, they're all great. Like, I was a boy, like, we're all, like, there's really no reason to stress. Oh, my God, it should just be just, like, a place for people who like this mess to come together. Make it sound better. It's like a home from home. Anyway, listen, Ayanna,

thank you so much for creating that account for one I'm like hooked to it already I know exactly how I'm going to be spending the rest of my

day so thanks very much thank you so much thank you for listening to our Spotify original podcast Sex Lies and DM Slides.

Please follow us on Spotify and tell all your mates about it if you enjoyed it. And if you have any weird and wonderful Sex Lies and DM Slides stories of your own, do slide into our DMs, at Sydney Lima and at Gizzy Erskine. No dick pics, please. Also follow us on Twitter and Instagram,

at Sex Lies DM Slides. This Spotify original podcast is a Hayden Prowse production edited by Matt and Scott at PodMonkey. With music by Free Seed Films. Our executive producers at Spotify are Rachel Simpson and Alexandra Adie.