Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - 6 Things You Should Already Know About Your Partner

Episode Date: October 1, 2023

Episode 60. Kristen and Luke are podcasting from Indiana this week! They finally address the recent media coverage about a show on Bravo – more to come on this. Luke and Kristen talk about their favorite and least favorite sex positions, looking at porn in a positive way vs. educational, and 6 things you should already know about our partner. Lastly, they discuss the news that everyone’s been talking about… Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce! Major Announcement: Kristen and Luke will be recapping Golden Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise every FRIDAY so be sure to mark your calendars and tune in! Sponsors: Go to Quince.com/doute to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/kristen Get 15% off with the code DOUTE at Oneskin.co Follow us: @kristendoute @luke__broderick Email us: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello lovers and friends, wishing you all a magical week and just wanted to say I love all of you because we've gotten so many fun DMs, but welcome back to another episode of Sex Love and What All Smatters. What's up, baby? Hey, baby. Can't tell you how excited I am to be recording one from Indiana in my dad's basement where I grew up. I mean, I'm looking at gorgeous woods, a private lake.

This shit doesn't suck. Let me put it that way. The dogs like it. Yeah, everyone likes it. So we're in Indiana because if you follow me on Instagram, which you all should, you would know that last Tuesday we left LA. We drove to Colorado straight through how many hours I slept. That one took about 15.

I wasn't feeling so hot. So I slept most of the way. Normally I try to stay up and keep them company. And then we spent a little bit of time on the ranch, on Luke's ranch, and then we left a few days later, and my crazy fucking boyfriend decided to drive another about 16, 17 hours straight to Indiana. Sure did, yeah, that one was a little bit longer.

It's like a flashback from December. But much better weather. So much better it better better weather It's always better when it's wetter. It's true So here we is we in Indiana we're going to be here for a couple of days. What do we leave? We go to Michigan Thursday. Oh my god. I don't even know what time of clock it is, what day it is. Like you guys, my brain. Right. But yeah, we're going to Michigan to visit family enjoying a little bit of the Midwest fall and summer mashup because we don't really get to do this very often.

We don't. It's so nice to see family and we came in. So that 17 hour, 16 whatever, our drive to Indiana, we got in at 5.30 a.m. Eastern time, which obviously at the time change our bodies weren't on that clock It was more like 2.30 or 3.30 and And it ended up getting three hours before our late day with all our friends in the neighborhood Which is so much fun because I was like wait a minute so everyone's bringing their boat. They all have pontoon boats. Like this is so awesome.

My dogs can come. And I completely didn't realize and forgot that there's literally a lake in this neighborhood. So we drove about a minute and a half up the street and went to the bigger lake. And yeah, they just like tied the pontoons together and it was just like, oh fuck yeah, Michigan summer. I mean, I know we're in Indiana, but it reminded me of that kid rock song.

Wait, that's Michigan summer is a kid rock song? Yeah, he does a song to the tune of Sweet Home Alabama. And it's like summer time in Northern Michigan. Oh, yeah, yeah, I got you. So that's what it reminded me of. So it's nice to be home after a wild summer. And you know what, guys? Here you go.

Here's a little Easter egg for you. Yes, there has been a show announced that is a show on Bravo. It was confirmed that it was announced. And everyone in all of my Ask Me Anythings is asking for me to tell you about it. And I just can't. So there's my Easter egg. I know about it. I'm well aware of it, but we can't talk about it. And I just can't. So there's my Easter egg. I know about it. I'm well aware of it, but we can't talk about it. So I hope that delivers enough news to you

for the time being. I think that's fair. That's accurate. That's true. And that's why we left. And we were done with the project. And we left because it was like, yeah, gotta get out right when you wrap. Yeah, and my brother's moving to Spain for six months. I was trying to get back here and see him. He's like my best friend, having golf together at all this summer.

It was just really nice to see him and everything. But I wanna take this back to like our lake day. We got a touch on this because this neighborhood is kind of like an upper middle class neighborhood. Where you grew up? It's where I grew up. There are definitely some like desperate housewives is kind of like an upper middle class neighborhood. Some... Where you grew up. It's where I grew up. There are definitely some like desperate housewives,

and therefore I feel like there's a lot of drama, a lot of strong personalities in this neighborhood. There are some fights that happen. There are friends that, you know, get kicked out of a friend group. There's so much gossip. People move away. It's a reality show.

It is a reality show. That's what's so crazy. We're out on the boat and talking to people, and it's like, wait, what happened? Like we just ran away from California, but now at least we're like sitting on the outside listening in, but you're more familiar with all of it than I am. Oh yeah, now I know. With this group.

Yeah, I know these people's personalities and everything and it's just, it doesn't change something about this neighborhood has a lot of drama. And I think that's why people like reality TV because they can, and even if you don't watch it, or the women, probably more of the women that watch it as we know, and maybe they get their husbands into watching it. But I think that the reason what I've learned over so many years of doing reality television is that it's because they can connect, even though we're in Los Angeles, right? We're in Hollywood or the Valley or whatever.

And I think a lot of people in the Midwest, my friends and family and whatnot, look at it like, oh, wow, it's LA, at the same time, they can fully relate to the friend group. To the type of drama that he said, he said kind of thing. It's like, and you believe he said this about me Yeah, and then go to his wife and say you might need to talk to your husband

He can't I can't have him talking about me like this if we're gonna be friends. Mm-hmm Those things are absolutely happening. It happens right here in Indiana y'all So we just thought that was hilarious and also you can't make this shit up Like when we were driving to Indie, you have this big giant group chat, like many friend groups do, many neighbors do, right? And some of the friends, their daughter, is someone that you used to date.

I dated, say dated briefly. Date briefly, right? She's younger than I am, as well as Luke is, obviously. She's much younger than I am. well as Luke is obviously, but she's much younger than I am and They had mentioned that she was in town and maybe you would come on the boat day and asked if that would be it But essentially they said I don't know if Luke and Kristen would really want that so Luke asked me and I'm not gonna be like the Debbie downer Like listen, I already won. I got him like he's mine So I'm not the prize. I sure fucking did.

And so of course, I was like, I does not bother me at all. It's not like some long-term girlfriend that you had some wild toxic breakup with where it's going to be like horrifically awkward for you. So I just said, if you don't care, I don't care. But it was like a little nerve-wracking thinking, I just said, it's all good. It's all good. And I was like, man, she's young. She just said, it's all good, it's all good.

And I was like, man, she's young, she's probably really skinny, she's gonna have this little tiny bikini on and I'm gonna be like, in my mom bod, one piece, and whatever. That's just my self esteem talking. But she didn't end up coming on the boat, so. She did not.

Yeah, there was, I'm not going to say there was any anxiety for me about it. I mean, yeah, we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. We didn't have this long relationship, didn't have a big nasty breakup, nothing like that. So it's just, is what it is. And you knew that I wasn't going to be like, so like, how was he for you? Because he's just like, you have no idea how good he is now. But drop him like the petty me and me. There we are. Oh and also of course I packed last minute per usual because I'm a dick like that. Even though I knew we were going on this trip for God knows how long and I forgot to pack

a bathing suit. So I'm like oh shit. How do I, where am I going to get a bathing suit in this tiny little suburb in beautiful like Woodsy, Indiana, and Luke's, what was your response? I said, oh, I've got a kind of a collection from high school college days at Fs and parties here, and bathing suits would get left, and I've got kind of a pile in the closet, in the linen closet, and Kristen wasn't about to wear one of these bathing suits.

No. They'd been washed. Yeah, but if you had had sex with any of those girls, I already had to share your penis with them. The last thing I'm gonna do is share a bathing suit with them. My vagina doesn't wanna get that close to a girl that you've had sex with before. Okay.

It's weird. That's not a battle I'm willing to fight. So I went to Walmart. And apparently it's a seasonal thing out here. It's a very seasonal item in Indiana and they didn't have any so. Well, I have been in LA for 16 years. There's no such thing as seasonal bathing suits.

We have them year round, anywhere you go. You can walk into any target or wherever, last minute. So I'm like, well, here we are. I'm gonna wear a sports bra, this fucking blows. But one of the neighbors came through. We have the same bod and it all worked out. Shout out to Don. Shout out to Don, someone he has not had sex with.

Definitely have not, not anyone in this group. Everyone's married. It's a lot of fun. It is. So anyway, in conclusion to all of this little bit of Indiana talk, we found out there's actually a lot in this neighborhood available, a buildable lot that... Available for sale?

It's for sale, and I have got some background in real estate in this place, I think, as a steal of a price, so Kristen and I are about to put an offer in on a lot in the neighborhood I grew up in. Sure are. I mean, we made this decision while we were watching college football, definitely drinking, day drinking on the boat, smoked a little, something, something. And then the next morning Luke was like, are you still in or was that you said, is that a drunk decision? And I was like, no, I'm fully in. Like, let's flip something. This

sounds amazing. Yeah, it's what needs some little bit of clearing work and stuff. But I have the tools I've got the friends that are gonna come help me. We're gonna clear some stuff out in this half acre lot. I think we can double or triple the value of it and just a little bit of work. It's like our first real thing together.

I mean, we have an apartment together, but it's like a thing. Yeah, we're so efficient, it's like insane. We're buying real estate together. That's a big deal. Yeah, it's a huge deal. And I have no hesitation whatsoever. I think this is a slam dunk.

Gotta do it. Let's make it happen. I trust you. So that's our story so far, guys. And also, well, so here's my other thing. I have this thing where I've really wanted to have sex and Luke's bedroom that he grew up in and we haven't done it yet. No, we hadn't before this trip.

He just looked at me all weird. We hadn't before this trip because we really didn't have time and we weren't staying here. So we did. So, score for me. But also Luke falls upon this book. What's the story behind the book? So this book is titled Real Sex for Real Women on the Top. It says, For Women Only. And it's intimacy pleasure and sexual well-being. This is by Dr. Laura Burman, PhD, who is obviously

worldwide well-known. I knew exactly who it was, but this book is from 2008. And why do you have this book, Luke? So I have this book. This is for women only. This is for my school. My high school girlfriend, my high school sweetheart, dated a couple years in college, she was given this book by one of her best friends, moms. And yeah, I know it was interesting.

I hadn't seen it in so long, found it under the bed, or in a drawer I hadn't opened in a long time, and yes, we started looking through it, and there's some interesting stuff. It's kind of textbook-like, but very informational. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, even the cover, like the cover's like really interesting,

if you guys wanna look it up, real sex for real women, really cool, like textbook-looking sort of educational, like Luke said, like, cover. And then as we start flipping through, to be honest, I'm not ripping on the book by any means. I'm maybe I'm not familiar with books like this, but there's like, it's pretty graphic.

It's not drawings. I was expecting drawings. And I don't know why I feel more comfortable with drawings when I'm reading sort of an educational book. And these are like full on photos. Like, what was that photo shoot like? How did they cast for this? I didn't even think about it.

These are all things that are going through my mind. It's like, do you mind being completely naked on top of another person and simulating sex positions? Well, I'm curious if we got Laura on this or Dr. Berman on this podcast. I would ask her if they Intentionally went for couples for the comfortability of it. Oh, you know that could be a thing It just it doesn't look like it to me unless these couple like These people are very pretty. Yeah, some of them are very good-looking people that like look like that perfect commercial looking couple. You know, like they definitely could also do like Amazon Alexa commercial or something like that.

So I feel that's why I feel just being in the world that I'm from that used to go to these commercial castings and print castings. So it's like how, I'm just, I don't know, I'm curious. It's almost like naked stock photography almost. It's not porn like, it's not. I'd call it more like. It's very realistic looking, but pretty people. Right, it's like soft core photos.

That's a good way to point it. That's why I'd call it because it's skin and mask. Yeah, the women are topless. You can tell they're both naked. You see some butts, but you don't see vaginas and dicks. Correct. Yeah, it's not like. It's not explicit.

Yeah, you're not looking at a hustler magazine or a house or whatever. It's still, it just, it not, it doesn't make me uncomfortable by any means, but it definitely caught me by some prize. So I want to flip to this chapter because there's something I want to talk about. So this was the chapter Luke was like, just look at one more photo. Wait, just look at those one more time. So again, this is very educational that honestly, it's like a really fucking awesome book. But there's a chapter that includes like tried and tested sex positions. So that's when I started looking at these photos, I was like, man, you guys had to have like serious, like comfort and safety and trust in the person you were doing this photo shoot

with and the photographer. And I was assuming a close said, I want to ask all these freaking questions. But on a side note, sort of like wrap this up, I was looking on Instagram and obviously Dr. Emily Morse. We've had her on the podcast before. I love her Instagram. And when I was scrolling through, I saw doggy style sex positions like the different types of doggy style and so I was like, oh, that's interesting There's like multiple slides. So I start going through them and One was the wheelbarrow and I immediately went that's something I would never want to do It sounds like so much work. I don't understand how that'd be pleasurable

That's because you're lazy lover. I am You're really gonna refute that? I mean, kind of. I like to be comfortable. Exactly. But I don't want to do a fucking like keg stand, like, well, you're, it's weird. So then I just started thinking about all the sex positions that I don't like.

And another one that I saw while I'm scrolling through Emily's thing, so I'm like, she's probably going to come back and be like, girl, you need to try harder and you need to do this more. Right? Emily, I can hear your voice right now, but also like sitting, like sitting, like you're sitting on a chair or couch and then I'm just like, where can we really like move from around like in a chair? I don't know.

If I feel like I'm too long and lanky. That's what it is. I think I'm too long and lanky for the wheelbarrow. I think I'm too long and lanky for sitting. And like, you know, when you watch porn and the girls, again, the shower and then they're like, you're facing each other but she like jumps up on a guy and they're trying to have sex while she's like legs wrapped right. He's like holding her up. I'm like, yeah, fuck it, right. It's just too much work. How can you focus on the pleasure when you're like doing acrobatic athletic shit? That's why, you know, I'm willing to do the work.

I didn't, I'm not, didn't I show you? I don't want to be athletic. Yeah, I know. I didn't mean to shame you in saying that you're a lazy lover, but to be fair. I'm not a dead fish. You're not a dead fish. You're like, I'm very vocal.

I mean, I can't have you. I mean, I might be a fish out of water, but you're not dead yet. I're like, I'm doing vocal. I mean, I can't have- You might be a fish out of water, but you're not dead yet. I'm sorry, I can get you off in two fucking seconds, but- Yeah, exactly, it's one of those. But you're also not wrong. I don't like- I don't want to be an athlete while I'm trying to enjoy sex.

That's fine. I was just explaining to somebody. I don't want to be a gymnast, I don't want to be an acrobat. I don't want my legs to get super sore where I'm like, I have a cramp, we gotta stop in the middle of the orgasm. Like it just all sounds like. Would you rather go to the gym or the bedroom? That's the bedroom.

Bedroom. Sometimes the gym, well, both, I mean, well, the bedroom, I'm lying to myself. Are there any sex positions that you don't like? Sex positions, I don't like? Sex positions I don't like. You can't tell me that it's easy to have sex like holding me up, like you standing and holding me, you know, front facing.

Like that is so much work. There's so many better ways to do it. I mean, you're a wheelbarrow? You want me to do a handstand? Truthfully. Are there any positions you don't like? I'm not going to say that I don't like. There are some I prefer over others, but nothing I'd say.

What are the ones that you prefer less? Mine are anything with athleticism. I'm not trying to train for the Detroit Lions football team, ball I'm getting off. Sometimes being on bottom and too much back and forth versus up and down is not necessarily enjoyable. It's not like it's painful, but it's not necessarily enjoyable. But if it gets you off, I'm like, okay, I'll write this down. Which is so funny because for me, it's like going up and down is like, mm-hmm.

Yeah. But I know that you like it. So I'm like, oh, I'm willing to do it Like that's when it's like you give and take but like I'm willing to do it, but don't do anything for me You know, yeah, and that's I just that was interesting kind of the same thing the back and forth It doesn't really do anything for me But if it's gonna get you off and hell yeah, do it. Oh, thank you for pretending that it does because you always do pretend that it does, which is like, you make you a really good partner. You're looking right at me and I know you wanna see it.

You wanna see my reaction. So, of course. Totally true. I'm like, just tell me, really like it. I don't know. I thought it was so interesting reading about all of these and then just thinking about the shit that I hate. Because trust me, I'm not being negative about sex.

I basically like everything else. Just, and I want to work out. That's all. I want you to work out. And then you're like, oh, I worked out today. I don't have to go to the gym. We can spend more time together. Yay.

I'm very selfish. I'm not lazy, I'm selfish. Okay. A little bit of both. We can, you guys, we're allowed to talk to each other like this because we have a sex podcast and we are a couple. So no hating on either of us. This is healthy communication, that it's finest. Exactly.

We don't need to filter each other out and say, oh, that's offensive. Yeah. You're not wrong. It doesn't hurt my feelings. Good. Even though my closet is pretty full, I still feel like I never have anything to wear, but that's when I found Quince, and I've finally given my closet the upgrade, we both desperately needed.

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Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash Kristen all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash Kristen to take your business to the next level today. It's shopify.com slash lowercase Kristen. So what's speaking of Dr. Laura, then I like pulled up her Instagram because I'm so familiar with Dr. Laura Dr. Laura Bremen. We would love it to have you on the podcast. When I started looking through some of her posts and something that she posted that I really liked that sort of feeds into last week's podcast, we talked all about porn and it was so much fun

and so interesting. And honestly, like dare I say, educational for me, just to learn more about the industry. But something that Dr. Laura says is don't use porn as your sex education. And I think it's a, I agree and disagree. What I do agree with is for the health of a girl as a woman, as a woman, the health of self-esteem is not comparing yourself, which we did talk about on the podcast.

You're not comparing yourselves to these women and these scenes that are two actors performing a scene, and that your love life should look like this performative scene every time you're having sex. Right, and it falls into the same category of like looking at these models and these these celebrities and these people these women with the perfect bodies and the beautiful face and all these things that you just want to aspire for If you take put that into your sex life It probably isn't going to help yourself a steam trying to live up to that level Just in general you're just feeling that you're less than you don't need to perform like a porn star You don't exactly to perform like a porn star. You don't.

Exactly. Because you don't. But the don't use porn as education, I thought was interesting because the way I agree with it is that like don't compare yourselves in that way that if you don't have this wild performative sex or have the bodies of some of these girls or all the hair and makeup that's done as well, the lighting and all of that. But on the other side of that, something we did talk about last week was you had said, like some of the things you learned about sex was from porn.

Yeah, you do see positions that you're like, oh, that could work for us. Right. Or you see some things that, if something turns you on, something specifically turns you on, you might want to try that specific thing, but putting on a full performance is probably not going to happen for the average person. So. Well, also, as Dr. Emily told us when we had her on the podcast, performative sex is a fucking no, no, no.

If you're having sex just to fake the sounds you're making and throwing your hair back and whatever that looks like because you're just trying to please your partner by faking it that way. Performative sex will never end up well. You need to communicate, make eye contact. Eye contact is so hot with your partner and pleasing them, obviously making sure you're pleasing yourself and your partner's doing the same. So I kind of think it's like, I don't know, I'm just, I think it's like playing devil's

advocate. Yeah, it shouldn't be your soul education. You should have some sex education outside of porn. However, there are tidbits you can take. And that's like, I think I've told you, that's how I look at self-help books. If I listen to some thing about improving better habits or just some of these like memoirs like Kevin Hart's got a great book About his life and his drive and determination and focus and how he got to where he is and you take these tidbits It's not like you're turning your life into his

But you try and kind of take certain themes or principles that they have and keep that out of the book Yeah, you know, and so that's the way I think you can look at porn in a positive way and just pull the little things that you think are realistic for you, a little way you can improve something new to try. And that's a good way to look at it. Yeah, you'll see what you like and what you're not into. So you know where your boundaries lie and you know where your curiosity lies.

You know, I think that's a good way to look at it. Yeah, exactly. When it comes to born in real life. So I don't know, I just thought that was super interesting. And then another thing, Luke, that I read that I have not told you about it, but I'm curious your thoughts. So this was a post from Dr. Laura Burman. It's six things you should already know about your long-term partner.

Okay, hit me with it. Okay, number one. What makes them laugh or cry? Hmm, there's a lot. Yeah, I'm not steadily in a five. I probably ride around a solid eight and either laughing or crying. You know what I mean?

You can cry from happiness, anxiety, sadness. The crying comes from a number of different layers. Yeah, cry from happiness a lot. That's what I do and I'm sad. It's like when I'm feeling sad, I watch, like what I said this on the Maggie Lawson podcast that I like to watch YouTube videos, either something that's gonna make me

just completely out of my head and making a laugh, comedians, whatever it is, or I like to watch military spouses or like dogs. America's Got Talent. I've seen you cry from such incredible performance on America's Got Talent as made you cry multiple times. One hundred percent and I'll continue to watch it over and over and over because I know that it gets me to cry and I just feel better. Like I need to get a cry out sometimes. But I also love to laugh. So what I mean, also love to laugh. I know exactly what makes you laugh and cry.

And you're so weird when it comes to laughing. I'm learning, which is so, I mean, we've only been together a little over a year, right? Feels like forever in a good way. But when we were watching, or we were listening to comedy, because we did a whole audiobook on the drive on the road trip, we tried to listen to music and we were both just like, because we did a whole audio book on the drive on the road trip. We tried to listen to music, and we were both just like,

not working for us, so let's put on like a comedy special. And I'm like, I'm the annoying person who just laughs so hard, and then look at you. Like, are you laughing too? Do you feel what I'm feeling? And you're not,

so I'm immediately thinking, he hates it, I need to change comedians. Like, what do I do? But you don't laugh out loud a whole lot. No, I don't. It's gotta be, I feel like it's gotta be so awesome. It's hysterical or nothing.

No, if you look, I'm like smiling, I'm laughing a little bit on the inside, but laughing out loud is not a normal thing for me. Unless you're in hysterics. Yeah, I've gotta, it's gotta get me in there, get the inhale laugh going there. Yeah. When that gets going, then I get the inhale laugh going there. Yeah When that gets go on then I'm cracking up for sure

Yeah, and what makes you cry. I mean really sad personal things. Yeah, that's it But you're you cry. Okay, next one. What are they passionate about? I mean, I know what you're passionate about hunting fishing being an entrepreneur completing projects, creativity, anything that sparks creativity as far as work stuff is involved. And I'm passionate about my close relationships in my family. Yes, very much so. Yeah, I take them very seriously. I don't like hurting people.

And for you, you're very passionate about a lot of things. About a lot of things. Fucking everything. I'm going to say about a lot of things. It's fucking everything. It's going to say about a lot of things. About a cause. About a cause. Sometimes you're very passionate about a lonely cloud in the sky. Yes. I felt so bad for that cloud that one day.

You did, yeah. I was just like, he was just off by himself. And I went with his other cloud friend. I was like, that's not cool. Maybe he needed it, maybe he needed it, though. Let me, you know, maybe I needed to think about that cloud and go, you know what that cloud just needed a moment to himself.

You needed space, exactly. No, you're- Damn empathy. Really though, you are very passionate about your career. You strive for excellence. You definitely are passionate about getting better and being a better person. I think you're like the way you look at yourself

like in a self-reflective way, it's super hot to me and also really awesome when you see things and just wanna be better in all ways as far as like meeting deadlines, launching, relaunching James May and nailing everything like you are so passionate about that. Like that's the passion I've been seeing the most recently as James May, you are on it. It's like the biggest thing.

Don't cry. You're pulling at my heartstrings, babe. See, I cry a lot. I'm always in a fucking eight. Thank you. It's so sweet. Okay. How their family affected their growth.

I mean, yeah, I think we talk about our families and know that. Yeah, we do. We've had some similar but different upbringings, I think. Way fucking different. They couldn't, they're so, I mean, similar upbringings and where we came from, the Midwest and like our principles and things like that.

But as far as like up rings with our family, like my parents divorced, no it was three. Very divorced when I was 21. Right, but we know, the point is we know. Yeah, so that's good. We're checking off all three boxes. Next one, what their spiritual beliefs are and how they affect their life choices.

We've talked about that because when considering a family in the future, it's kind of on the checklist. So we discussed it. We are aligned. I like that word, that's good, babe. What kind of support they need when stressed? When I read that one, I was like, well, that's my downfall. What you, oh, for me, you try to push me instead of letting me do my thing sometimes.

I want to fix it. And you're like, I don't need you to fix it. I need you to just listen to what I'm saying. If I want you to help, I'll let you know. But if I don't, please trust me. And I'm like, but I'm gonna fix it anyway. So I kind of. And you get frustrated. At least I'm aware of that. Why can't I fix it? So I am aware of what kind of support you need. I don't necessarily give it to you always the way that you want it. With you is not always the same.

I mean, I try to all force you to give me a hug sometimes when you're pushing me away. Wonderful though. And sometimes you are strong enough to push me away that I can't do it because I think you're going to smack me. I've never, you'd never have. But I try to grab you and you push me away. I'm like, Kristen, just take a breath and give me a hug and think a little bit, like, let calm down. And then, no, I'm just going to be sad by myself.

Where? Everything's the world's falling apart. Everything's awful. Sometimes the world fucking falls apart, man. You just got to be there. And then, like, five minutes later, when I get over it, I'm like, okay, you're right, I feel better. There's, that's, I feel like the best thing for anybody when you're having a, like,

freak out moment, spiraling down where everything's going wrong, everything's going to fall apart. If you've got a significant other there, give them a tight hug, take a few deep breaths, or a friend. Yeah, a big hug, a few deep breaths, and that'll reset yourself because you're not taking those deep breaths. You're not getting that oxygen that you really need, and that's why you're also freaking out. Dude, totally. Remember when I read, I forget where I heard this from, but in moments of,

like, not necessarily even panic or anxiety or like with sadness or just kind of like a bit of turmoil, it's to take one big deep breath and then another small one and then exhale as hard as you can. And it's like number one, I think you're taking your focus off of everything, because you have to focus on that, but it really is like the oxygen going to your brain. And following your nerves. I used to do yoga, and with yoga breathing is a huge part of it.

So it's always, you absorb the most oxygen when you breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Take a deep breath in through your nose, hold it and exhale slowly through your mouth. And do that, if you can do that a hold it, and exhale slowly through your mouth. And do that. If you can do that a few times, it really is very centering. Yeah, I'm not really into yoga unless I'm getting my vagina waxed.

Because then she goes, okay, let's do yoga. Oh, man. And shout out to my waxer Alexis for helping me do yoga when I get my vagina waxed. Next is, the last one is, how they charge their emotional batteries. Okay, before we get to that, I just had a visual. I got to ask you about it. So do they have the stirps, like the OB-GYN and get waxed? There, like here you go, probably speed up. I lay back on a table with my arms. I'm doing it right now, guys, in a chair, which is awkward. Underneath my knees, and then I interlace my fingers

while I'm laying back. Does that make sense? So my knees are like outward, kind of spread and then I'm like holding my legs up with my arms. Okay. And that way she can get down to the beehull. Get it all. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. Got you. Speaking of the, so wait, real quick, speaking of the beehull, I asked, Down to the B hole. Get it all. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Okay. Got you. Speaking of the, so wait, real quick, speaking of the B hole, I asked, did I try to bet you or did I just ask you if you do it, wax your B hole? Like, what would it take? Oh, you tried it. Just for fun.

You tried to convince me to do it. Just for fun. Like a derriot. I triple-dog derriot to get your B hole waxed. That doesn't work on me. There needs to be some sort of financial compensation if I'm getting my asshole waxed. What about sexual compensation?

It's gotta be a lot. Okay. We'll talk about it. We'll think about it. We'll get back to you guys. Okay. Okay, so the last one is how they charge their emotional batteries.

You, golfing, fishing, hunting, something you can do that makes you super happy out in nature. Well, you barely see me. I need to find an ultimate frisbee league in Los Angeles because that is, when I'm on a field and I'm playing, I like just reckless.

It's fine. I don't need to try to compete at the highest level anymore. And I just, I'm such a Jersey chase player. It's just like nothing else exists when I'm on the field. Time doesn't exist. I said when I look up at the clock, if it's going down, like otherwise when I'm on the field. Time doesn't exist. I set up when I look up at the clock if it's going down.

Otherwise, I don't know what time of day it is. Nothing else matters. It is so good to exert myself in a sport that I'm good at. I believe that. I just saw it because it's so refreshing. No, sorry, I didn't know if you'd be like, the reason I'm quick to totally agree with you. I just saw this video on NFL something or other

on Instagram and it was, I can't remember which teams were playing, but it was this past weekend and they, you know, they have like Mike, some of them have Mike's attached to them and it was like something about like professional athletes or still like little boys at times and it was like two guys from two different teams

talking to each other and he was like, man, like something long lines up, like man, we're we need to play football. This is what we do for a living, man, this is so much fun. I was like, that's so cool. It is, it's badass. It's really cool that they're like having that conversation on the field, you know? And then the same people, like opposite teams were talking to each other and they were like, he, like opposite teams, we're talking to each other. And they were like, he was like, oh, you're gonna get some, bro. He's like, you wanna get this?

He's like, you're gonna get this, son. And they were like, but it wasn't serious. It was playful. And it was just like, that's rad. They are so freaking happy out on that field. So I can feel your passion and your energy like that that would be something for you. Oh, I love it.

I mean, that like more mild shit talk, it is somewhat shit talk is playful and fun. But I'd match up with somebody that's my friend from another team that maybe I played with on a club team. Like coming from college to pro and everything. And we like catch up a little bit, but I'm like, hey, so you know I'm about to burn you deep. Like I'm gonna score on you right here.

And he's like, yeah, we'll see. You're recharging your emotional batteries because you're doing something, your endorphins are pumping, right? Serotonin boost is happening. There's no way you can be sad or pissed off when you're doing something that you love like that. So basically what I'm telling everyone is like,

I'm recommending doing something that you love. Like, for example, of Luke, can I ever get into like a tiff or whatever? Or let's just say, was we don't really argue often, or if I'm just having a bad day and he goes to the range, I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna go play my keyboard right now.

Like, don't sit here and scroll on my phone, don't play some games, take away my, I'm like a child, like, I'm taking away my own screen time, and I'm gonna like play my guitar, and I'm gonna play my keyboard. I'm gonna away my own screen time and I'm going to play my guitar and I'm going to play my keyboard. I'm going to do something different that makes me feel happy. I think that's how you get out of a funk and then you have a happier life and better sex life and a happier relationship and it just kind of you got to allow each other that time to reset especially when you're arguing over nothing which

is what most arguments are and long long-term relationships and marriages, it's over something small, that isn't the biggest deal. So, go do something, blow off steam, come back in a better mood, move on. Yeah, amazing. Okay, I wanna, in the words of Andy Cohen, switch gears. Okay, let's switch. I need to talk about what we've been talking about,

what the whole fucking world has been talking about. We need to talk about football we've been talking about, what the whole fucking world has been talking about. We get to talk about football. Yes. Sort of. Kelsey and Swift, and I'm not talking about Deandra Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey. We called it. I thought it was happening. Jason Kelsey, his brother, said it on a podcast that he essentially confirmed it. But we watched the Kansas City Chiefs play and their tailor is in Kelsey Suite next to Mama Kelsey. I look like the real deal to me. I am so fucking happy.

Because I am a Swiftie, I am a hardcore Swiftie, I'm also on an All Girls fantasy league. I have three leagues this year. Luke has like a trillion five, but I am in my All Girls fantasy league. I am one of two out of 12 girls that is a hardcore swifty So where we you know all the other girls are just kind of like hating on This match up and I'm like this is fucking awesome. Two of my favorite like people that I don't know are dating now from two of my favorite worlds. This is brilliant. And if they do break up, if they don't end up together forever and ever and ever, there

will be a whole album about him and there will be a song about the friendship bracelet with his phone number on it and there's gonna be a song about like the touchdown that she said let's fucking go and there's going to be a song about like the touchdown that she said, let's fucking go. And there's just, oh, God, I'm so excited. Let's hope it doesn't come out. I feel like they're both at the same age. Look, they're probably Kelsey, unfortunately, because the way that NFL works is towards the

end of his career. He's got a couple years left. I hope they settle down and have kids and have some beautiful, very talented children. Like I hope the best for them. They're kids who are so hot and so talented. Like, are you kidding me? They would have all of her like creative and musical ability and also have his athleticism and he's so funny. Oh my God, it's a match made in fucking heaven.

Yeah, that's not, not a count there, chickens. But I, I look, I'm knocking on wood. I, not a count there chickens, but I, I, Look, I'm knocking on wood. I don't wanna jinx it, but I am, I am, I, as the kids say, I stand. Taylor's slipped in Travis Kelsey. So yeah, Travis and Taylor, if you somehow come across this podcast, I know it's probably unlikely,

but I want to wish you both, I wanna wish you both the best. I think you guys are, seem like a good match, and I'm a fan you both the best. I think you guys are. Seemed like a good match. And I'm a fan of both of yours. So I mean, I'll say sort of. I'm not a Swiftie. But I don't dislike Taylor Swiftie.

No, you think she's very talented and pretty. She's very talented, very successful. She's attractive. She's a good person. Not my genre of music. Correct. Which is totally fine. But I'm not a hater.

I'm not a hater. I'm not as wifty. And I love that he wore the 1989 pajama things. Oh, like stop. The only thing that annoyed me was like, I know Taylor loves her fans so, so, so much. But there was something we watched where they were like, someone's Instagram, it was like,

fans were convinced she was hiding in this like popcorn case thing. Remember the metal, the steel metal thing and the girl was wheeling the popcorn thing around. I showed you it. No idea what you're talking about. You weren't watching it with me. They were like, tailors in there. I know she's in there.

They thought she was hiding in this like giant steel case. It kind of looks like a giant gunsafe metal steel thing and like a popcorn holder. And it was like the size of a human. And all these fans were just all surrounding. And I'm like, y'all, come on. You don't think she just goes in where the football players go in. You don't think that she has a private elevator and then she just goes up to his suite. She at least hadn't asked for it. That's court to the suite. She had a couple security guards walk her there.

I just thought it was so cool and so exciting and I feel like it's so exciting and fun for her. I could feel, I'm just, I love her so much, but when he got the touchdown and he did his little dance and then she's like, glad it's fucking go and like bangs on the glass from the sweet. And like, how fun and exciting is that little honeymoon, like, fun romance butterfly stage? And then they leave in the little cool, like, convertible car. She apparently supposedly allegedly paid for the restaurant they wanted to go to. She paid for all of the patrons food so they would leave.

And then it was like her, Kelsey, his parents, and some other football players and friends. And they like rented out the restaurant for the rest of the night. Allegedly, that's what I heard. Right. Which I think is a baller bombass move. And if I had her kind of money, it's exactly what I would do. I've got to say I have heard multiple accounts of Kansas City fans being very respectful of players. However, Taylor Swift changes that whole algorithm a little bit, like her being part of it. But I know that

like Pat Mahomes, he's gone in there with Brittany and family to a restaurant eaten by himself and not had anyone approach him during his meal. And out of respect and appreciation for all the people of Kansas City that were there, he bought all their meals anyway because they didn't come up to him. They were able to eat and peace and feel normal. And he paid for all their meals because he said, and he stood up before he left and said, this is why I love Kansas City. Oh, I love that. That's gonna make me cry.

Oh, that's so sweet. I just fucking love good people being with good people. And anyway. As good as they are, and as a football fan, it's hard to hate the Chiefs. I mean, I love the Chiefs. They're a competitor for my favorite team, the Colts. And they are gonna be a good team for a very long time,

but I hate them like I hate the patriots, I can't do it. Anyway, we stand Travis and Taylor, and I also think they're an amazing match-up because of their careers. Both of them have a very demanding career, and they're used to having a demanding career, so I think it's maybe even easier to date someone with an also a demanding career and they're used to having a demanding career. So I think it's maybe even easier to date someone with an also a demanding career. You understand each other. I agree. Totally. Yeah, all the haters. I mean, I don't know. I'm not going to, I've read a lot of things about girls. He's dated in the past like from catching Kelsey. I know that girl has spoken out about things. She said positive things about Taylor, but it's like, I don't know, dude, do you really need to like put them on blast when you dated him

seven years ago, just to tell Taylor, be careful once a cheater, always a cheater? I don't agree with once a cheater, always a cheater. Yeah, I don't agree. There are people can grow up. And I also think Taylor has been through her guys and she doesn't need advice from an ex-girlfriend from seven years ago of Travis Kelsey. I think she's not really give a shit about that comment. A 100% boom, drop the mic. Oh my gosh. If her music says anything, it says she's had boyfriends

and they haven't been the best. Exactly. Are you tired of cycling through Oh my gosh. If her music says anything, it says she's had boyfriends and they haven't been the best. Exactly. Are you tired of cycling through the endless amounts of trending skincare products that all claim to smooth wrinkles firm skin and give you a youthful glow? But they don't really deliver results at the end of the bottle. Well, support for today's episode comes from one skin founded by a team of four female PhD level longevity scientists with over 15 years of experience studying the biology of aging.

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At public mobile, we do things differently. From our subscription phone plans to throwing a big sale right now when no one else is. skin. price on a 5G subscription phone plan. It's the perfect deal for anyone who could use some savings right now. Subscribe today at publicmobile.ca. Different is calling. Okay, so a couple other quick pop culture things while we're there. I want to remind everyone that Ariana will we're recording this on a Tuesday. It's gonna air on Wednesday, but Ariana is on Dancing with the Stars tonight you guys. Yay, yay, yay, please always watch, please root for her, vote for her. It is so freaking important. Dancing with the Stars, it airs well, it by this time and aired yesterday, but it'll air every Tuesday at 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, this time and aired yesterday, but it'll air every Tuesday at 8 p.m. Eastern Standard time. And you can vote 10 times either online or by text messages. And yes, I'm fully plugging this because this is my fucking girl. Like I have an actual friend on dancing with the stars online. You can vote at dwtsvote.abc.com SMS text Ariana to 21523. Let's fucking go Ariana and Pasha. I can't wait to get back in town and see it in person

and her body is just going to be even more banging than it already is. Wait, we're going, we're going to go see that live. Fuck yes. Amazing. That sounds amazing. Yeah, it's incredible. I've been dancing with the star so many times. I win. When Lisa Vanderpump was on it, I went and yeah, but now it's like my actual good friend.

And then also just to remind you guys again, this week, oh my gosh, Bachelor freaking recaps are coming. We have Golden Bachelor and Bachelor in Paradise, a double dose of Bachelor Nation every Thursday. Luke and I will be recapping and airing on Friday morning. And I'm really excited. And we were just talking about your grandma, your mom's mom. Absolutely. She should have been. I wish I would have thought about it and I would have like reached out to casting because she would have been amazing. I mean, both of my, okay, so both of my grandmalls are single. Widowed. Widowed. Well, G is, she got divorced from her last one, but my grandma, my other grandma on my dad's side

is Widowed, and they're both actually from very small town in Indiana, very close to where where Jerry's from. Where Jerry's from, which is just wild to me. I didn't know he was from up there in northern Indiana. And now I'm looking back like, damn, if I had known more, I would have told G to apply for this. I mean, no, I'm so mad right now.

There's always an issue. It's okay. There's going to be another one. I have confidence that this will be a hit. Yes, I do too. I'm actually really excited. And I think we did talk about this a bit, but the fact that all the women are 60 and up, I

really like because I definitely thought there was going to be a little, I don't know, it's a bit of a bachelor nation. You never know what is it called. Things they're going to corkscrews. Throw a wrench. Throw a wrench, thank you. I was like, a corkscrew, what do you throw? What's the tool?

Yeah, throw a wrench in it and put on some chicken, who's like his daughter's aid. Put a 45 year old. Or 30 something is what I was thinking. Yeah, exactly. Which would be like super awkward, because he's 72. But I think it's gonna be like a really giant breath of fresh air to air and watch mature women not be caddy and like drunk and just like,

I don't know, it's just gonna be like a different kind of love, a different kind of experience. Totally, and I also think that the women at this age probably, this is an assumption obviously, probably haven't been competitive over a man in decades. And I don't think they will be competitive. That's the thing. They have to be, what do you mean? Well, no, you don't have to be competitive for a man.

You just want to get to know him. It's not like, I don't know. If I were on the bat, I don't know. I see what you're saying. There will be competitive nature with some of them. Absolutely. I imagine it will be something that they have an experience in decades.

And that will be interesting to watch. Well, we're about to find that. And I'm really excited because Matt James' mom is also on it, which is so cool, so it's gonna be really exciting. And then we have Bachelor in Paradise. And I'm not gonna lie, first and foremost, I'm excited for Rachel's journey on this.

Rachel, Rakyia, our friend. Yeah, Rachel's a good girl. Rachel, we fucking love you. We've seen Rachel pretty often as of late, but I can't wait to like watch this part of her journey. Oh yeah, and we're going to, we will try our best to get her on here. I don't know what the rules are, but we're going to try to get her on here for a recap.

And some other Bachelor people. I have a lot of Bachelor friends that we can, we can get to help us out. We can bring in, yeah, to talk about the experience, give you some, maybe some break some fourth wall stuff, show you some of the behind the scenes and how this really is, boom, boom, boom, boom, etc. Yeah, so to remind you guys, if you missed or just kind of forgot when we had a podcast with Blake,

I had asked Blake very specifically, is the boom, boom, boom, boom, real thing? Or can you guys just, why don't you guys just hook up wherever you want to? Like why don't they just come near room? Like I don't get it. Like when you're going to bed, do you have cameras on you? And he was like, he essentially just said like, no, if you're going to hook up, you go to the boom boom room. And I was pretty shocked to hear that. I'm like, I would find somewhere to hide. Are you kidding me? What's wrong with it? I've done a reality TV long enough to know where to go and where there aren't cameras.

I mean, I haven't seen enough of the bachelor in paradise seasons to know if it gets used much, but I don't know. I mean, what would be the problem if that's the thing like that? Because there's cameras in the boom boom room. They're in the boom boom room? I mean, yeah. Okay, I didn't know that. That's what I'm saying. So they, so like the covers go up and you like see, and you hear sounds and fuck that. That's a no-boy no-for-me. Yeah, no thank you. Anyway. No cameras in my bedroom, right, Luke?

Right, Kristen. Mm-hmm. Okay, guys, well, thanks for joining and really stoked for this coming week of Bachelor Recaps. And also, as everyone has been answering when I asked about the Interprone rules, I've told you that I'm not super uncomfortable with some of the seasons, but I'll just say this, I've gotten a lot of love and support that has said like, we appreciate you standing your ground on the seasons that are difficult for you and

if you want to skip those or skip over episodes, our listeners have said like they totally understand. So I think we need to give the people what they want and when Bachelor recaps are over, we will go back to Vanderpump rules. We might just skate over a few things because it's with my boyfriend now. It's a little weird, you know. Right. And I'll just say, if it isn't in the emails, if there are certain episodes that you want my opinion on that Christmas not comfortable with, I am willing to give my input on some stuff that she is

not willing to relive. So let us know, I'm not going to do that on my own, but if enough, we have enough people saying that that's what they want, then I will do it. Yeah, we can grab like a former cast member or a current cast member. Do you do that? Exactly. Yeah. It'll work out.

It'll work out. Yeah. And it won't be Jack's or Tom Sanable. We'll just throw that out there. Anyway, love you guys so much. Thank you for all the support. All the love. Please rate us five stars per year.

And we will talk to you this Friday for our Bachelor of Recaps in next week on Sex Lab. What does matters? Yeah, thanks for listening. Love you, bye! Make sure to follow us on social media. You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Dodie and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke Double underscore broadred.

Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with new episodes every single Wednesday. Thanks for listening. See you next week. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪