Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - Girl Talk: Dating, Freezing Eggs, & Bucket Lists

Episode Date: November 15, 2024

Episode 136. This week, Kristen is joined by Rachael O’Brien and Dhyani Bella for some girl talk! Dhyani gives us an update on the dating apps and why she doesn’t ghost people anymore. Rachael gets emotional talking about the moment she realized she wants kids and the phone call she made to her mother. They also discuss freezing eggs, bucket list items, and what they got in trouble for the most as kids. Also, Dhyani remembers the time she smoked with Snoop Dog himself!   Sponsors:   If you want to upgrade your shave, head to Manscaped.com. Use the code DOUTE for 20% off and free shipping on The ChairmanTM Pro Package.   Head to Viiahemp.com and use the code DOUTE to receive 15% off + one free sample of their sleepy Dreams gummies. (21+). Follow us: @kristendoute @luke__broderick Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Red one we're coming at you is the movie event of the holiday season Santa Claus has been kidnapped You're gonna help us find you can't trust this guy. He's on the list. It's a naughty Lister naughty Lister Dwayne Johnson We got snowman Chris Evans, I might just go back to the car. Let's save Christmas I'm not gonna say that say it. All right Let's see Christmas. There it is. Only in theaters November 15th. You know what's great about ambition?

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So that's super fun. So Deonnie and Snatch, welcome to the podcast. Oh my God, why are you calling me Snatch? I told her that that's what I call you. And so- This feels like I've been ambushed and I don't appreciate it. I don't know why I've been calling Snatch Snatch since college, but... Since 2006.

Rachel O'Brien, why does Deonni call you Snatch? Why do you? I don't know. I don't know either because it was actually like pre-real social media where people would say like, ooh, she's Snatch. Like that wasn't it. So I don't know. It was Snatch and Renanda. I remember Renanda.

You also remember Snatch because that's what I've stuck with. I remember Snatch. But I also remember Renanda when she was saying earlier, this is a total side note. When you guys were talking about Snatch, I was in the bathroom and I was like, oh, they're bringing up Snatch. When we were talking about Snatch, we're not talking about a body part. No, it's just a name you would call me for whatever fucking reason. I don't know. I know and I do it in public too. It's amazing.

Yeah, all the time. I don't know. Okay. So let's catch everyone up to speed because Deonni has been on the pod before and man did you win people over. It wasn't even called this last time. No, it was called Sex, Love and What Else Matters. And we talked a lot about dating, which we're going to do today because it's super fun to talk about dating with your friends when there's no boys around. And everyone knows Rachel, but let's catch the listeners up to speed on basically how

I know you Diani is because you and Rachel have known each other for 20 years. 20 plus years now. Oof. Let's just introduce why. Do you know that we've also known each other for about the same amount of time? You guys went to college together. Like we've known each other about the same amount of time. Give or take a couple years.

That makes it not the same amount of time. Give or take a couple years. So I've known Rachel since 2007, which is 17 years. I'm 04. So just talk about the fruition of your damn friendship. Just so everyone knows how we all know each other. I went to three different colleges. My second one was Los Angeles City College.

You're so ambitious. Very ambitious. Also very decisive. Not a commitment-phobe at all. Crazy. I met a very pretty girl at LACC my sophomore year. Didn't think anything of it, whatever. And then you met Rachel. And then I went to Oregon.

You're so pretty. Then I met another. No, I went to my first class and I was like, oh my God, that girl's wearing like, she had a Juicy Couture outfit on and she had like a Burberry bag. She was definitely like theiest, dressed well person. And we went to Oregon. This isn't like Arizona. There was no one else.

No one even knows what Burberry is in Oregon. So I was like, oh, be friends with her. She's cute. So whatever, we had a few classes together, and I remember coming up to her, and then we started talking. And then somehow very quickly in our friendship, she was, I don't know, we were just talking about our families, whatever, and she showed me a picture of her sister, and I'm like, that's the pretty girl I met last year at a different college.

Is her name? And I said Rachel's sister's name, and she's like, that's my sister, and like, yeah, she went there. So then she calls her sister like, do you remember this girl? So anyways, it was very serendipitous, and we were just meant to be. And then we ended up moving in together my senior year of college, which was just a debacle in itself. Is that the year that we moved in together? I was only there for two years.

So maybe halfway through junior. We lived there for two years together, I think. I was only at Oregon for a year and six months. How did we manage to go down to Vegas together? We were bored one night and decided to just go. Literally, we were both dating football players. They were in like whatever training camp they did in college, which at Oregon was, I guess, a big deal.

By the way, it's ranked number one right now, Rach, in case you weren't sure. I know they are. Good, good job. Yeah, I remember one night we were like, well, the boys are gone. Like, what do we do? I remember saying to Rach,

because I was working at the bar, like a bar there, and I was like, ugh. And I remember being like, we should go to like Mozzie's or somewhere, some fancy dinner. And I was like, Rachel's like, I thought you like didn't have money right now. And I was like, I don't. And I was like, should we just like drive to Vegas? And Rachel's like, yeah. And I'm like, okay. We literally packed our stuff in like an hour. What was that 20 hour drive? I was about to ask how far that is because... It was far.

You ladies being like West Coast or like Pacific Northwest, I had never been to Vegas until I moved to LA because when you live in Michigan, you don't just like go to Vegas when you don't have money. You go to Chicago. So I'm like, oh, how far of a drive is that? So 20 hours? That's really far. We went for one night. Oh, wow.

It was a terrible idea. We were just talking about how De'Ani manifests money. Yeah. Oh, she's so good at it. So even if she was broke, she was like, she's gonna be fine. We met the president of Walmart or something? It was the president of some large corporation of something. We were, by the way, not 21, either of us.

Yeah, definitely not. I was Hawaiian in my fake ID, so I don't know. I remember my name was Vanessa. She was from Florida. I'm sure she's like... You look like a Vanessa from Florida. Whoa. In college?

The offense right now? I can so look like a Vanessa from Florida. Do you know? Those are fighting words. Those are fighting words. Because you look like a Vanessa from Florida. I can't believe you said that. I can't believe you said that. I can't believe you said that. I can't believe you said that. I can so look like a Vanessa from Florida. Those are fighting words.

Those are fighting words, Kristin. Oh my God. 20-year-old Diani is totally Vanessa from Florida. I did not have eyebrows. I for sure was Vanessa from Florida. No eyebrows. It was great. Yeah. So that's how we met.

And then we've been friends since-ish. It's adjacent. It's adjacent. It's adjacent. By proxy. I missed her wedding because it wasn't convenient. That is true. It was in it. And you were bridesmaid.

It was a bridesmaid. I just, I don't know. If you don't want to come to mind, which is not planned in the slightest. As long as there's not a tsunami. There's also no proposal. Wait, so, okay, so your wedding's not being planned right now. So last time we, because last time we talked to you on the podcast, you, I don't know why I was saying on the pod.

I don't know. I felt like we were on Love is Blind. It was really weird. In the pods. On the pod. You were single. Yeah. And now you are.

Single. By choice. I am super actively trying not to be single now. Yeah, you're dating. You weren't dating then. Yeah, I'm like very much not wanting to be on dating apps, but also not wanting to leave my house. So I decided like something's got to give and I felt like, I guess the dating apps is

it for today. So I've been like knocking through them. How many dating apps are you on? One, oh my God, I can't. How do people do more? I don't know. That's like putting clothes up on like Poshmark and eBay and then like having to figure out what it sells on. That is so true.

It's stress. I'm not doing that. Notifications. Like Facebook marketplace, eBay, Poshmark, offer up. Like, ah. So yeah, no. And I don't have my notifications on. I've actually been told off by a few people, it's like, well, it was really nice getting to know you. And I'm like, I didn't get to know you.

I'm like, I'm sorry I have a life. I'm so sorry I didn't check this all day. And I'm not having my notifications of dating apps. I don't have my notifications on, like, for anyone. What time of day do you typically, like, scroll on the dating app? Oh, a lot of... Because I remember being on dating apps. I downloaded a dating app during COVID.

Or like when I had COVID, not during, not like 2020, but like when I had COVID in like 20. Actually when I was very sick. It was right before, it was like, I think maybe I, or right before I met Luke or like maybe right after, no, it was right before I met Luke. There was like a two week time span and I had COVID. I was going to say you had a very short amount of time. Very. I recall. It was like two weeks. It was like 11 days. Yeah, because I was like, I remember like Zach or whoever texted me and was like, Kristen broke up with her ex and it was right before the wedding. And I was like, well, she's upset. She doesn't need to come. It's okay. You know, I in fact came even earlier. You did carry throw a shade at me. No, no. You still showed up.

Both of you are amazing. That has nothing to do with anything. I'm embarrassed that I even like had a wedding. So just be quiet. But like, yeah, like that timeframe between, cause I was like, I was so worried about you. I was like, ah, that timeframe between, because I was like, I was so worried about you. I was like, oh, she's going to be heartbroken. And then it was like, well, Kristen picked up and found someone new within a couple of weeks. I mean, I was like distraught for probably like a few days.

And then I moved into my new apartment and I was bored after like night one. So I was like, oh, hinge it is. How many dates can I go on in the next two weeks? And what time did you scroll? Always like late at night or early in the morning. Same time I scroll on Instagram. No, same for me. I have a thing like scroll up on my phone, check Instagram, board. Okay. Now I'm like thinking I'm a TikToker. So I check TikTok. Interesting.

Oh, it's a big deal. I'm on TikTok shop affiliate. Thank you very much. I don't know what that means. I made it. Are you selling stuff? I'm trying. Okay, I love it. You know what?

We're talking manifestation. Yeah, I'm selling stuff. I'm a millionaire in fact. You are. I love it. You are. Wait, so yeah, I'll check TikTok and then I go to Hinge and I'm like, this is not supposed to be a game.

This isn't supposed to be social media. It's kind of like a game. It is. And what I've to Hinge and I'm like, this is not supposed to be a game. This isn't supposed to be social media. It's kind of like a game. It is. And what I've noticed too is like sometimes in the morning I'll look and I'll be like, wait, I matched with that person? That was an accident. Like, oh crap.

So then I have to like go and do it. It's awkward. But this is a profession at this point. That's amazing. It's my work. How many like dates have you been on? Not like if it's one person you went on like two or three dates,

but like how many people have you given a shot or a chance to? I think in the last month, let's think. Two, four, six, eight, nine. I think nine. I want to say nine. Oh, I love it. Good for you. Quickly though. I'm like not messing around. Like I'm like, oh, like I went out with one guy and I'm like,

oh, that was kind. You're not straight, but it was super nice to meet you. Yeah. You're like, I'm not going to waste either of our time. No, I don't want to waste either time. It was funny too, because he texts me the next morning and I'm like, oh, that was kind. You're not straight, but it was super nice to meet you. Yeah. You're like, I'm not gonna waste either of our time. No, I don't wanna waste either time. It was funny too, because he texted me the next morning and I was like, thank you so much. And I'm very nice. I don't wanna ghost people, because I don't wanna be ghosted.

I'm communicative. That is really nice of you. I just feel like we're, I'm too old to, there's no game. We both came on this date looking for something, looking for love, and I didn't find it, so I gotta go. But yeah, no, I'm just like, so nice to meet you, thank you so much, blah, blah, blah. I was like, I just didn't feel like

there was like a romantic match for me. And it was so funny, because like, first of all, bro, you text me in the morning, so clearly you were trying to like continue this. And he wrote back, like, no, totally, I felt the same way. You didn't, but that's fine. So I was like, oh, good. And then he was like, we should totally be friends. You should came out with my group of friends, da da da da.

And I was like, yeah, that was the one. Yeah. So I'm very quick. I went to the farmers market with one. He was like very animated, his facial expressions. And I felt like there's not room for two of us. Okay. So I'm not going to lie when I was single, I could not. No, I can't. I'm expressive. I can't look at myself. I think everyone just heard you speed talk. No, no, I can't. I can expressive. I can't look at myself. I think everyone just heard you speed talk. No, no, I can't. I can't.

I totally get it. I feel like I had, this is gonna sound worse than it is, I feel like I had to drink when I had, I was like, I don't wanna go and have coffee with you. Yeah. I don't wanna have coffee with you. My coffee is like, I go and get a coffee and I come home or I like go run errands.

I don't wanna sit at Starbucks and like nurse my coffee while we like get to know each other. My coffee is gonna be cold or melt if it's already cold. I don't know, it was just like a whole thing. I also had to have like a little bit of liquid courage. Again, sounds terrible, but whatever. But you know, so you just reminded me of something that I've, you just like made a thought pop into my head

that made me actually like the bachelor and the bachelorette, the TV shows so much more because you were like, you choose not to ghost, which is awesome and very adult of you as, hey, single people, don't be an asshole, okay? Don't ghost people, just be honest. Just be honest. You might hurt someone's feelings,

but at least you're not being a dick about it, right? But it just occurred to me that like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, they're forced to not ghost people. They have to tell that person to their face. To their face. Oh, you're right. But in their defense, A, it's a TV show, B, there's producers behind them telling them to cut. But also like, I'm not going on a date

with 12 other women that are also there where at the end of the day, the guy's like, and not you. I'm like, yeah, I'm not going on a date with 12 other women that are also there. Where at the end of the day, the guy's like, and not you. I'm like, yeah, I'm not doing that. But I'm just saying it just like occurred to me. They have to like politely say, I'm so sorry and like good luck with everything. But it's like they weren't feeling it in the moment. That chemistry wasn't there. And so they have to say that rather than just being like, anyway, I'm going to go hide in

the other room and hopefully you take the hint. Well, kind of. I am hiding in the other room. You're just not getting a rose. And by the way, some of them don't have to explain it because sometimes the girl is like, or the guy, whatever, is just like, okay, thanks, bye. Versus like, what happened?

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Trust me, you're going to love the experience. Who has the confidence, like think of the personality type that has the confidence to choose to be in a group of 12 people and be chosen. Like what personality type is like, yeah, I'd like that sudden death type of thing. Me when I was 20. Like if you think about it when we all went to clubs and you're like, ooh, there's the guy and the VIP, obviously we all have our different types. Rachel knows mine.

But that is it. You're trying to be chosen by a bunch of girls that are around. Like you're hoping that the guy's asking you to go home that night or for the phone number or whatever. Like now I'm like, oh, he might be dating other people. I'm not doing this at all. Like you can have him.

I'm not trying to win. But it's like pure torture. It's like, it's like, it's like, he could be married. Like, no, no, no. Even when we were in our twenties and we went to clubs and we were's like, it's like, it's like, He could be married. Like, no, no, no. Even when we were in our 20s and we went to clubs and we were doing that, it's like, Oh God, I hope he chooses me. Well, the girls that are on this TV show, they're in their 20s.

Yeah, sure. Some. But it's so specific in that scenario though, too, where it's like, it is exactly this many people and like, it's like, well, I'm being ranked from one to 20. Well, it's got to figure it out. Also, I feel like the later it gets in those type of shows, the easier, at least like, let's pretend I was on the show. If I'm getting kicked off night one,

I'm going straight to a plastic surgeon. 100%. No! It was purely based on this. Oh, that would murder my career. No, it's so bad for your self-esteem. That's what I'm saying. But 10 days in, like at the end of the show

where there's six of us, I'm like, oh, okay, at least he got to know me a little bit. But like that night one where they're like, oh yeah, I just didn't feel chemistry. I'm like, I was standing in the corner. Like, what do you mean? What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong?

I mean, I wouldn't obviously really go straight to it. I mean, it wouldn't be on the show, let's be honest. But yeah, no, the confidence. But it's like bad for your self-esteem. Terrible. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I have the obviously really go straight to it. I mean, I wouldn't be on the show, let's be honest. But yeah, no, the confidence. But it's like bad for your self-esteem. Terrible. Yeah. I don't think I have the self-esteem to do it. Especially because we just talked about love languages

before the podcast and how much we like words of affirmation. And like, when you first get to know someone, Dianne was talking about some dates she's been on and how one particular guy was not even saying like, oh, you're pretty or like, you're so cool or something. But he's interested and I'm like, how? When there's like zero compliments. Yeah.

So you know what I mean? Yeah. I think both are beautiful in case no one told you today. Thank you so much. Meanwhile, you're engaged and have a husband, but it's fine. Diani, you're gorgeous. You've always been gorgeous and you've always landed almost everyone. Call me tomorrow.

You know why you don't have a husband? Because you haven't wanted one. I haven't wanted one. Someone told me that recently. Balls in your court, bitch. Janine told me that recently. She said, you were a playgirl. I was like, oh. You're looking at your life. I've met some cool people. I mean, mostly not. And you have really good stories to tell.

I have great ones. Even in a month, it's kind of crazy. She's got the fucking best stories of all time in life. And I think it's okay that like, I never ever, different than Kristin, I always thought that you were kind of the same as me, but I guess not because you confirmed. Just kidding. No, no, no. She was not. I just confirmed myself.

Rachel just confirmed that when she told me about her college number. I was like, what? That's all? Something like two people, maybe three. That's kind. Me too. Yeah, that. She just like in a night? In a weekend? Whatever. I had a good run in LA. Let me live.

It's admirable. It is admirable. But regardless, me like Sabrina, who your listeners don't know, but you should have her on your podcast. We never ever thought about getting married, having kids. It was just like, I put career first. It was just like, it was never something I thought about.

I just, I wasn't one of those, I never pictured a wedding. I never pictured anything. I pictured being a stand-up comedian. I pictured- Super independent career driven focus. Yeah. I just was super, and I always kind of thought Super independent, career-driven, focused. Yeah, like I just was like super... I always kind of thought you were like that,

because you were focused, but... No, extremely codependent. See, I'm in the middle, because I was thinking... I pretended to be super career-driven, da-da-da. The second I got in any relationship, I was super codependent. However, up until maybe like 27, 28, I didn't want kids either. 30s I wanted kids and now I go off and on. Yeah.

There's eggs in a freezer. They just raised the price. I don't know if we're paying for those this year, but- It is so expensive. Maybe because you know that you already bet on it, so you're good. But Diani, starting in, I think it's July 2025, I want to say, don't quote me, I may be wrong on the exact date, fertility procedures that will be covered and freeze your eggs being stored that will be covered by insurance. I don't have insurance.

Insurance is going to change because of presidential things. So we'll see. And worse, my eggs are in Georgia. Okay. Well, this is the insurance podcast. So if you work for Blue Cross Blue Shield, please contact me. I do have a question for both of you. See, whenever it comes to shit like that, I'm just like, okay, when we stop recording, just tell me which bank they're at. I will find someone who works there, become friends with them. Perfect. Got you. bank they're at. I will find someone who works there, become friends with them. Perfect.

I got you. No, they literally just sent an email and said, we're doing something so nice for you guys. Now you pay monthly instead of one bill at the end of the year. And then I added up the monthly and I was like, this is double. It's actually cheap because it is in Georgia. But yeah, no, there's eggs in a freezer. So yes, now I want kids.

I go on all these dates and I realize my first question, not first, but a question is like, do you want kids? And I went out with one guy who was like, absolutely not. And I realized that that's a deal breaker for me because I still want the option. So I'm, I'm okay if they want them. I'm okay if they're unsure, but leaning towards yes, right? Even though I'm still basically open, they need to be open to the conversation. Totally. The ones that are not interested, I'm like, oh, oh, whoa, that was too much of a commitment. I can't do this. And you know what, too, though? I think...

I mean, tell me if I'm wrong. The way I'm registering it for me is like, if someone kind of knows that it's something on your radar, as it may be, maybe not, and they're just like, mm-mm, no. Well, so it's like, so you actually don't even care that I, like, what if we were so great, possibly? And you're not even willing to open your mind to that down the road?

Yeah. I think there's been really great guys that are like, it's a decision for two people. And like a guy I went out with last night said that, and I was like, he's being too nice. Like I want him to know. So I was like, okay, take away the second person. Like, do you want to be a dad?

Like if nothing else mattered, do you want to be a dad? And he was like, yeah, I do. Will I die if I'm not? No. My thing now is just like, you know, just the world is crazy and climate and blah, blah, blah. And I think for me now, I guess the older I get too, I'm like, oh, I don't think it's gonna get easier.

Right. But also like- And it gets scarier. It gets scarier. Like because of the world. Yeah, yeah. And I think truthfully, I'm like, okay, if I meet like the dopest person because I am older now,

like what if I wanna spend five years traveling the world with them? Like, oh my God, I'm not going to be up, okay, I'm not 40, I'm not 50, but still, but like, I don't want to be that old trying. But there is like a, yes, I have eggs in a freezer. That's great. I mean, that is really, that is really smart of you

to have that backup because you truly don't have to worry at all about egg quality. And if you want to do it in a couple of years, you want to do it in five years. Like it doesn't even matter. And that's something that I sort of wish I had done back in the day and didn't. But I just had all these feelings about all my friends that were going through it at the time and just seeing how difficult it was for them. Rachel and I were talking about this, but Rachel thought that I was like, yeah, this

career-driven, never-wanted, I'm like, oh, no, no, no. I mean, literally, I think my intro to my book says every guy that I've ever dated was the guy I was going to marry. Oh, I read your book. Every single guy. I was like, that's it. Doodling hearts, like my name was his last name. She was-

You've always been emo, yes. I will say, when I read Kristin's book, I was like, yeah, sister. I guess I knew that, but you weren't like the type of person, like I consider like Brittany Moore, someone that would talk about like her wedding day, or like you never like talked about,

like you fell in love really easily like you fell in love but like the wedding is just a party though yeah that's just a party but the wedding that's a guarantee i don't need to talk about it you fell in love easily but i never pictured you to be someone that was like white picket fences and like a wedding and a baby like i guess no that was my thing there was a a time that I was like, maybe I'm like dreaming this all. Maybe this is something that I've like thought that I wanted and now I'm convincing myself I still want it kind of a thing as I got older. And that was in between ex-boyfriend and Luke.

That was like, you know, those few weeks during those few weeks. Two weeks. By the way, I don't think it was two. That was a good run. I don't, you guys, I think you guys are giving it an extra couple days. I want to say it was like 10 days. It was quick. It was quick.

The time between that breakup and- But guess what? When you know, you know. And meeting Luke, I was like, maybe I'm just saying that I want all of that. These girls had 10 nights of sleep and decided to- Yeah. I actually think it's quite cute that you met your person. But then I was at Rachel's wedding and you can't be, I personally, I personally cannot

be at a wedding and not want to get married. So that was just that. Maybe that's why I didn't go. Rachel, at what point did you switch your mind frame to like, because now you really want kids. I mean, you're married, you've been married for two years, and now you want a baby so much. And you're such a... We were talking about this all day today,

like the three of us just hanging out, like, I'm what a caretaker you are, and how loving you are. And granted, yes, you live on the ranch, and you are surrounded by men that you do take care of. But just like your personality, like taking care of me, when Luke's not here, taking care of Deanna, you know. But was it when you got married? Was it when you got engaged or was it before? Was it like more recent? I don't know. Like I searched for so long, like in the day, like I had long term relationships,

but then there was probably two years maybe before Greg and I like settled down where I, I mean, to be honest, I did most of Los Angeles. I did the other half. Actually, it turns out tonight I dated 90% Rachel just tried to pick up the stern for good. Rachel just tried to tell a story. Sorry, I have to reject before we got started on this and was like, Oh my God sorry I have to reject it, please do, before we got started on this and was like, oh my god I have to tell you the greatest story and then says, you didn't sleep with blah blah blah

did you? And I looked at her and I'm like, yeah I did and she was like, wait what? I was like, oh what? And I was like, in college, what are you talking about? You were like, Dionys seriously? I'm like, Rachel you knew about this. Anyways, she was still shocked. It's hard to keep track. What do you want? We used to have a list and I don't have it anymore. You know what happened? Remember I had to throw it away? She ran out of paper. Why did you have to throw it away?

Because an ex found it and I tried to lie about it. I was like, those are my clients for clubs. Was it the one that I got you, I ruined your relationship from doing my own podcast? No, different one. He didn't find a list. Your podcast ruined that relationship. By the way, all of these things that have ruined it now at this age, maturity, I'm like,

oh, it wasn't my person. It's all funny. It wasn't meant to be. It's all funny. It wasn't meant to be. And it's mostly funny now. It's hilarious. By the way, I hope the guy that I went on a date with last night doesn't ever hear this because I think I might like him. We really like him. Maybe time goes-

Rachel and I already like him. You know what, Dianna? I don't even know what he looks like. I have not seen a photo and I love him. Every friend I've told about him has said what you've just said. The only thing I know is his height. Because that's the most important thing. I mean, it really is. I don't even know his height.

But what if this is the cutest... Well, we're not going to say it. No, just in case. Okay, but Rachel, hold on. We're reflecting. Yes, we get that you date a lot of people. At what point do you feel that you were like, I actually want kids? Or even to get married?

I think it was starting to date Greg because I was dating all of Los Angeles. And I remember coming back from a trip, it wasn't when we got engaged. I can't even remember what it was, but Greg was my friend. He was my friend for six years pretty much before we started dating. And oh yeah, we went on a trip to Yellowstone and I came back from the trip and I called my mom and I said, I think I got my happy ending. Oh, that's so cute. Are you PMSing?

It's cute. Yeah, she is. Either that or she's pregnant. It's one or the other. So, it's still her hobby. I just remember because it was so, like dating was so hard in LA at certain points and Jesus Christ, I hate myself. No, but I just remember like going into my apartment building after he dropped me off being like, I think I finally got it.

Yeah, and he was so in love with you for so long too. So he was probably like, thank God, finally. Oh my God. But I got to know him really well beforehand. Did he, all the time leading up to you guys actually dating, did he ever express that he wanted to be a dad, that he really would love to get married one day? Like, did you guys talk about that stuff just like in general? Or not until you started dating? Because I didn't even notice that he thought he was like stalking dating me for a long time.

Like, I didn't really know. So no, we didn't really. So it wasn't on the radar until after you started dating and then it became a conversation. And then when I felt like I started dating like a friend or someone I really trusted, that I was like, well, this will be nice. It was just more like a comfortability. So many people I dated in LA, it was just like, I don't really even know you, it feels like. I'm thinking back on this. I don't really even know you, it feels like. You know? I don't know. I'm like thinking back on this.

Don't look at me. I don't know any of them. Like how sweet that all is. Are you sure? No. Like when Luke and I, we would talk, like the whole, all of our listeners know this, but like we would talk on the phone for like hours and hours and hours a day because we were never around each other. But when we, we had sex first, obviously, and then we were getting to know each other. That's honestly the best way.

And falling in love. But that whole time I was like, so I'm getting older and I really wanna have kids. So I know you're at the time, he was 31 when we started talking and I was like, I, gosh. That just made my blood go cold. It was like barely over the age of 30. And I'm like, I'm almost 40.

So I want to have kids. How do you feel about that? You have to be honest and say it. He didn't run. Right. But I was a little crazy. I don't think it's crazy now though. I don't know, maybe because we are of that age,

but like you can't. I just didn't, yeah, I didn't want to waste his time or mine. Yeah, cause back in the day, like let's say out of there was a time when I did want kids and the guy was like, oh, I don't know. And I'm like, okay, well, I'm going to stick around for another year to see if maybe I can change his mind. Yes.

Oh, God. Like, I'm not doing that anymore. I did that too. Yeah, you can't do it when we're getting older. I'm just getting older. I'm not doing it. Well, but you have your eggs frozen. I know, but I don't really want...

First of all, let's back up a second. They didn't get a ton of eggs that I always get concerned like, okay, well, this isn't a guarantee. It's still not a guarantee. Well, this wasn't a good gamble. What did you do here? I was up in the stirrups and the lady goes, great quality. When did your mom go through menopause? And I'm like, I don't know.

And I'm in the stirrups. When did your mom go through menopause? 41. That's tomorrow. Oh, that's young. And it's very directly related. So she goes, when did your mom go through menopause? I'm like, I don't know.

So I'm texting my mom and my mom's, bless her heart, she'll never listen to this, but like stupid. She goes, you don't remember, honey? No, mom, I don't remember when you went through menopause. And then says 41. And I was like, mom, I was five. Like, what was I gonna remember?

Also, Elle's not stupid. Don't call her stupid. That wasn't. So I asked my mom many years ago and I swear, my mom told me it was like late 40s or like late 40s maybe I made up sort of early 50s. My sister who would know much better than me because she's older than me, my sister was like, no, mom went through menopause like very early 40s. Maybe even like I'm 41 like right around my age.

And I'm like, why did no one tell me this? Because then that probably would have scared me into doing IVF. Yeah, it's better- I would have been scared into getting- I would have been scared into doing IVF. I would have been scared into doing IVF. It's better you didn't know.

Oh, see, I would have just been scared into getting pregnant with the wrong guy. Oh, yeah. And I thought- I think it's better you didn't know. I think I tried that. I was, with any guy I was like super in love with, it's like we didn't use protection. I mean I was super in love with it. It's like we didn't use protection.

I mean, I was in love with everyone. It just didn't happen. Thank God. I was in love with everyone. I was. Everyone I've been in love with. Although, let me tell you, I haven't been drinking on these dates

and I'm not in love with these people. And I'm very clear. Maybe that's what you need to do. No, I've been not. I'm like, honestly. As I said, have one drink, take your top off once. No, but I realized I used to not to say what you and Luke did was wrong.

That's what I used to do. And I would overlook- But it's the difference between our 20 something year old selves and or even early 30 selves and ourselves now. Cause I would over, I would sleep with them, be like, oh my God, we have amazing chemistry. We are meant to be.

And then I'd start to get to know them and still think we're meant to be. And truthfully, until they broke up with me, I still thought we were meant to be. And truthfully, until they broke up with me, I still thought we were meant to be. Girl, you are singing my swan song. And now I'm like doing it the opposite way now, which has been like actually kind of a culture shock. Cause I'm like, wait, do I like him?

I don't know. And I realized like the chemistry is like actually getting to know someone. And I'm like, now I'm so clear headed of like, oh yeah, that doesn't work for me. No, I'm not interested. Okay. I think there's a balance though.

Like you don't have to be like, I am impressed with like you're treating dating like, cause I like to treat everything like an A student. We know. Whatever. You work for research. Yeah, straight A Ray. Whatever, shut up.

Go to hell. But like there's a balance in between like treating it like, okay, this guy and this thing and this thing or whatever, but like maybe have one drink. Maybe just like loosen up a little bit. I am loose. But she's saying she doesn't need to. She doesn't even want to at this point

because she wants to. I also am just not drinking in general. Right. Yeah, you've never, you always go from zero to 60. Oh, so I stay low. Zero to 60 and a thing with age. But wait. I'm just saying like enjoy general. Right. Yeah, you've never, you always go from zero to 60. Oh, so zero to 60 and a thing with age. I'm just saying like enjoy it. I am enjoying it. Don't treat it like a math project.

I'm not treating it like a math project. I'm also not treating it like I'm going to have so much fun having, this is my thing, I don't need free dinner. So like, I don't need to go on this date again. Like I don't need to, I'm not like, oh, in my 20s in LA, I remember it's like, we all need free dinner. Like, ugh, I don't need that. So like I'm cool, and also I really like being home.

So to me, it's more work to go out versus this. So it's like, it's not treating it like- You're doing it specifically to take the chance to possibly have an opportunity to meet someone. Totally, and I feel like it's super inorganic. I'm so not like a pro online dater. It feels very weird to me, but. You need a concert experience.

I had a good concert experience. Did you marry that person? No. Okay, then shh. You know what I think? But it was fun. Going back to something you were saying, what I think is so funny

that brought a lot of memories back for me, and truly even in my relationship with Luke, is how something, you used this example of like a green chair, right? Earlier you were saying. Explain this analogy. It's like you can love or hate something based on how you feel about that person.

And that's the other not drinking part for me is like knowing there's chemistry. So like there's, I can go out with a guy and I'm like, oh my God, he like won't stop talking about these chairs that he just got for his house and they're green and like, I'm sleeping. And then the next day I can go on a date with someone and I'm like, ooh, I don't know.

There's like some chemistry here. Like I feel like he's cool, da da da. And the man can be talking about the exact same green chairs and I'm like, oh, I love green chairs and I'm learning the shades and now I'm learning a woodworking. And I'm like, oh my God, are they mid-century modern? Are they like, this is great.

So funny, I was thinking about ordering green chairs for my house too. Like, it's just like, as soon as you feel any type of chemistry, it's like, I'm interested in what you're interested in. And it's not to say I'm fake, it's not to say I don't have my own interests. You're interested in what they're interested in.

I am actually interested in what you're interested in because I like you, or because I think I like you at least. So yeah, I mean, until I'm not interested, I love green chairs. But that's also what would be good in a relationship. Like, even if you don't necessarily like what they like, if you really love that person, you're like, I love your woodworking. I will learn. But then there's kind of the, okay, so let me give you an example based on what you're saying, Dee. So with Luke, in the beginning, I know that Luke is a hunter. He likes to hunt and fish and all of that. I'm a vegetarian. I hate animal cruelty in all shapes and forms. I mean, everyone should. And I was having a really difficult time with that

because I didn't know a lot about it, but I just saw the photos on his Instagram of him with a deer and I'm like, I can't. Oh my God, I can't do this. I can't do this, yeah. And so I finally had to just, I mean, within not very long of talking on the phone for hours and hours a day, I'm like,

I fucking hate your Instagram. I think I texted him that maybe on like day three or something. I'm like, I hate your Instagram. I hate it. I can't even look at it. What's up? And he started explaining to me about being a conservationist. So that I was like, okay, tell me more. This is interesting. Now to this day, I love him, I'm going to marry him. Do I like that he hunts? No. And I don't want to hear about it. He doesn't want to tell me about it because he knows that it's not my thing. And he doesn't want to be judged for it as well. He doesn't want to hear your voice.

Something he really loves. So we just don't talk about it now. But I don't, because I love him, I don't hate him for that, or hate that about him even. And in the very beginning, I really wanted to understand it. I was like, oh, he's not a hunter, he's a conservationist. I'm dead. So here's the difference. He's really doing the planet some good. Well, here's the online dating problem in that. A lot of these guys will post like, and by the way,

my next company for short, is starting a consulting company for men's dating profiles because they are so terrible. They're terrible. But like holding up a fish. And I'm just automatically... Not it. Luke totally had a fucking fish photo. No, he did. He told me he had one on his online dating profile. And I'm like, I would have never swiped for you.

No, I would have never. So that's my point. And that's why I don't love online dating is because it's like this like false thing of like, like again, I can the hottest guy in the room may never approach me. But if he's there's a picture, I'm like, oh, let me try this one out. Totally versus the maybe not the hottest guy in the room might have the best personality. But like he had a terrible photo, which they all do.

Right. And then I'm like, oh, I'm not interested. So I'm like, it's just not it's tough. It's a tough world. But yeah, I would have asked anyone out with a hammer, a hunter. And the guy I just went out with, we were talking about men's profiles and women's. And I was like, what's like the equivalent of a guy holding a fish? And he goes, girls burning man photos. Oh my God. Fucking yes. That's hilarious. I was like, not Coachella? He goes, no, that's a concert. That's normal. It's fine.

Burning Man is the new Coachella. Burning Man photos. He goes, literally, girl, Burning Man is probably your equivalent to a man holding a fish. That might be one of the funniest things I've heard in a long time. It's the guy you like, by the way. Because I've known about Burning Man for like 20 years. The new guy that you like. I had an ex-boyfriend who was Burning like back in like the late 90s.

Yeah. But Burning Man now is not Burning Man then. So Burning Man now is like the old Coachella. Exactly. It's like the Coachella of 10 years ago. Fact. Both of them are my worst nightmare. Because now Coachella, you just accept that it's a social media thing. Yeah, but it's not even like- But like 10 years ago, it wasn't supposed to be. And it was annoying because people went for music. Oh my God. Anyways. Hey guys, I want to share a little something about my journey with money. I remember feeling totally lost when it came to investing.

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And clearly very humble. And modest. We were talking about rebellious things that we had done when we were younger, but not teenage younger, not high school, not 20s. I'm talking like grade school to middle school. So Rachel, so I want each of us to just think of something that we had done. Rachel, I would love for you to... It is such a good story, Rachel. I feel like you're bullying me. And you painted it so well. Why is it bullying? It's hysterical.

I was an adult. So look like it in the photo, but you were not. I was an adult. I will share that photo because it's on Rachel's Instagram for everyone to see. Oh my God. 600 people agree. So how old were you? Okay, set the stage for us, right? So I think I was around 11 years old.

At the time, I didn't know that my friend's father owned a cocaine ranch. It's fine. I'm not naming names. Didn't know. Surprised my mom would let me go there because my mom would not let me do anything, really. She still doesn't. Yeah, she literally anything, really. She still doesn't. Yeah, she literally still doesn't. Literally still doesn't.

I was on a road trip with my parents right after my car accident, like in June or whatever, and or July, and she was like, you can't go down to the, I had to go down to the lobby, the hotel room to work on my podcast. And she was like, you need to text me when you get down there. I was like, but you let me go to a cocaine ranch when I was 11? What time I moved anywhere Cindy's

like, what are the security cameras like? I'm like, Cindy, I don't have money. There are no security cameras. What's the plan here? Okay, so you go to the cocaine ranch. All right. So, my best friend is a child. her dad owned a cocaine ranch essentially. He had passed away and she was sad and I was like, don't you worry, I'll talk to the counselor at school, we'll go to my house. The caretaker. Yep. And so we went home early from school and then we were in my bedroom.

Wait, you went home legally early, like got signed out or? Yeah, we got signed out. By who? Yeah, who signed you? Someone at school. So you didn't like you walked out. Not by your not by your parents. I don't know. Perhaps. You walked out of school. Perhaps we scrammed from there. I don't know. I don't remember.

Okay. So then what? I remember this part. So she's telling me her sad story. I'm like, let's get out of here. I'll take care of you. We'll get away for a couple of days. It's gonna be fine. Charlie's thorough. Get away for a couple of days. This is what you need. You just need to relax.

It's like you're 35, like with your 21 year old niece. You're like, listen, sweetie. Not in these other pictures. You know exactly what that was. Listen, sweetie, let's just get out of here for a couple of days. The cover for this podcast what that was. Listen, sweetie, let's just get out of here for a couple days. The cover for this podcast is that photo. We're in my childhood bedroom, like in a bunch of florals and the American Girl dolls.

And so where did you go? We crawl out the window. What time was it? Probably 2 p.m. I don't know. And I leave my mom a note that just says basically, hey mom, I'm gonna be gone for a couple days, don't worry about me, everything's fine.

Were you like, leftovers are in the fridge? Yeah, I'm just like, I got this shit hand-hold. And then we bolted. And how'd you get caught, Rach? Well, I'll tell you what we took with us. I think we may have picked up some supplies from their cocaine ranch, but it was trash bags, toilet paper, chocolate. There gotta be something else.

What were the trash bags for? Oh, you were gonna sleep on my thing? I don't really know. In case it rained. I was 11. There was really no plan. No, no, Kristin. She didn't say in them.

She said on them. In case it rained. I was 11. There was really no plan. No, no, Kristin. She didn't say in them. She said on them. Because those are comfortable. Make sure you have a trash bag with you. Again, I was 11. There was no plan. The chocolate part gets me.

I mean, no, there clearly was a plan. We brought trash bags. You wrote a note and you had a few days planned out. What were you doing? Well, I thought we did. I don't know. She's like, chocolate. Sustainable for energy.

Sugar. Caffeine. Two small children walking by. I was like, oh, I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to I thought we did. I don't know. She's like chocolate, sustainable for energy. It's sugar. Two small children walk about five miles. They cross the 101 highway,

go through the cocaine ranch up into the woods. And we got caught by my dad and the police because we were screaming cuss words really loud. Because we felt free. And so we were saying cuss words really loud, because we felt free. And so we were saying fuck really loud. And that's how they found us. Does this story make you guys want kids more or less? More.

It's just like I've done so many stupid things that like not much is going to surprise me, you know? I mean, that would surprise me. I hope that that's the kind of thing my kid does. For sure. Is like write a note at like two in the afternoon, just like letting me know. Just letting you know.

They're busy. It wasn't even a like, I'm running away. No, not at all. I'll be back in a few days. I was basically talking down to my mom. I was talking down to her like, hey, I have an appointment and you will... I had said it before we started the podcast.

I'm like, this is Rachel's note to get on PTO. Literally, you're taking a few days off from life at 11. Like, mom, it's cool. I'm just going to take a few PTO days. I'll be back. Just dock them from my next paycheck. But I blew it. I blew it.

I blew it by screaming. Because you were yelling fuck. Yes. I blew it. You're it by screaming. Because you were yelling fuck. Yes. I blew it. You're like, where did you learn that word? Also, imagine having a police search and rescue and they're like, oh my God, the kids are gone.

And then you just hear like, fuck, fuck. We found them. No big deal. Everything's fine. As long as they got toilet paper and trash bags. We had about a six hour go on it. I hate myself. What about you a six hour go on it. Oh my god. Dead.

What about you, Deonning? High school, high school. As we know, like your parents were like yogis and hippies. There wasn't like much, truthfully, like of those things. You didn't have to really rebel because you didn't have rules. There were no rules. There was no rebelling. No, my high school stuff was more of a thing.

I do remember stealing the car quite early on. I live up a hill. How old do you think you were? 12 maybe? 11? Okay, that's really up for stealing a car. How did you even know? I didn't know.

That's a lot of confidence. There's that false sense of confidence again just shining through. We also live up a hill. It was a whole thing, but I remember like turning the car on. I remember I'd seen my dad like push a car that was in neutral, I think, or whatever, when you ran out of gas. So like my friend and I did that because we don't want to make noise. And then got down the driveway. You can't see our house from the driveway. So you have to like go down down. And I went to the gas station to fill up the tank before we got home. And oh yeah, it was hilarious. At 12? Yeah.

What is happening here? I also smoked weed when I was like 11. What are you talking about? In a tent outside. Yeah, my brother. So we get to the gas station in Oregon, you're not allowed to pump your own gas. So I waited for the guy to come to the window.

I'm sorry? Yeah, it's illegal to pump your own gas. You're joking. Nope, job creation. It's great. When I moved to California for the first time, I was like very offended. We're waiting for someone to come help us. I was just like, this is weird. Why is someone not doing this for me? Is that why you've

driven away with the gas pump still in your tank? Rachel's like, I didn't know any better. We don't. We literally were never... Oh my God, this is fascinating. So I get there and I'm like standing in the window trying to... By the way, this guy is probably looking at this like, okay, child. So we get there, whatever, and I can't get the key out. And I'm trying to... I can't turn the car off. Then I just started panicking. My friend was like,

oh, my God, and I'm like, oh, my God, I broke the car. Like, oh, my God, they're gonna have to come get me. Like, fuck, fuck, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. And finally, the guy attendant, he's like, yeah, you have to put the car in drive in order to turn it off, like, take the key out. Like, he could see that the car was not in, or I'm sorry, he's like, you have to take it out of drive.

You have to put the car in park. And I was like, oh, yeah, of course, like, whoops. So yeah, that was- Casually, he's looking at a 12-year-old's leg. Casually looking at it. Let me help you. I mean, we live in Oregon. It's like a little podunk, whatever. But yeah, he that was me, my one. And then another I got in a car accident stealing a car as well.

How old ish? A little older. But 14. Yeah, probably 14. Did you just casually say you stole a car? When it steal the whole car was our family car wasn't a steal. She borrowed it. Borrowed it. But? When it steal the whole car. It was our family car. It wasn't a steal. She borrowed it. She borrowed it, but it's a whole story. But yeah, we ran through a ditch off Lorraine Highway by my parents' house.

The only time I ever took my mom's car, I was like 17. I didn't have my license until I was 18. So I was like 17. I got in trouble when I was taking driver's training and my dad took it away from me. The one time I took the car when I was like 17, my mom was sleeping and I just like,

I was like, I know how to drive, so like, but I was like 17. Anyway, my only rebel story like that young, like young young, cause mine was all high school too. I did a whole lot of dumb shit. I was a pain in the ass in middle school. Because I was ever changing. I was like, now I'm obsessed with Nirvana, and I only wear Nirvana t-shirts and ripped

jeans. And my mom was like, oh my God. Oh my God, we were. My mom was really scared when Kurt Cobain died. She was like, are you unwell? That kind of thing. Imagine being in the Pacific Northwest. So I, oh God, yeah.

We were, it was, we took it to heart. Yeah, 100%. Serious. So I would, that, and then I was a cheerleader, and then I was, it was just all over the place every five minutes. So my rebelliousness was, I think I was 12. I was in seventh grade and my mom had gotten married to my stepdad. Maybe I was 11.

I don't know, something like that. And she was on her honeymoon and my aunt and my sister, I think it was mostly my aunt were like watching us. And I went and got my lip pierced. And I kept it in for two days. And then I got it taped. And then I think I just like, someone helped me like rip it out or something. And that was it.

Oh, that's the worst thing you did? I don't even know if my mom knows that. Maybe I've told her before. Mom, I got my lip pierced when you were, I think in Hawaii or Aruba or something. Yeah, it was like I had like a little ring. I used to wear like blue lipstick and like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I'm like, bitch, you need to be fired. But the guy's in style though. It's back in style. Not the way we did it though. We were like Courtney Love, Nirvana. Like that was serious. Courtney Love went to my friend's middle, like we went to, she went to middle school in my hometown. So jealous.

Yes. My biggest trouble ever was- It's ordination? I'm shocked that you talked back. Oh yeah, no, I remember my mom got a lock for her door and I was like, well, I'll get a lock for my door. They were like, it's our house. Like, oh no, it was bad.

She ripped up my TLC tickets into a thousand pieces. I still went, taped them back together. Then got out and went back to my mom. I had a mouth at school. Same. Same. And it wasn't like just because. It was like unjust.

Things that were unjust in my opinion. Same. Like, no, no, no. But I am a justice warrior. And I will tell you why. I don't need to be grounded. I will tell you why it was okay that I did this even though it was against the rules because there's a reason.

I didn't just do it to do it. Also, these rules are made up. Like, come on, guys. They are. Yeah. Okay. So I want to just do one more thing really quick before we end. I've just randomly been thinking about this.

I think about my bucket list never in December and never in January. I think about it every other time of year when I'm actually going to like maybe do something. Is that weird? I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm like in my forties too. So I've been thinking about my bucket list also because one of my, I have like three things major on my bucket list right now and one of them has to do with the Detroit Lions. So maybe that's why it's fresh on my mind. So I want to talk about if you guys have any just like little items. Let's manifest.

Let's speak them into existence. What's your Detroit Lions one? Because my ex who Rachel knows played for them. Well, it has to do with the Detroit Lions going to the Super Bowl. And I would like to go to the Super Bowl when they are at the Super Bowl. Are they doing well? Yes. They're amazing.

I'm sorry. That's a good bucket list. Yeah. Okay. So it's like, how many bucket list items do we need? Oh, just what are you can just say one if you want. So that's one. I'm going to reframe your bucket.

Well, that's one of them. And then one is, and this has been on my bucket list for many years. So I have adopted a giraffe in Kenya, named Kiko. And it was like in 2017, I think, 2018, 2017. I think he was two. Is he at the manor? So he's like, yes, he's at the David Sheldrake Wildlife Trust. So my friend Ariana had, I think, does Ariana have a rhino or an elephant? I can't remember. And she told me about it. So then I adopted, you know, I'm sure many people, he has a lot of moms and dads, but I adopted Kiko. And I've always wanted to go to the giraffe manor.

So I would love nothing more than to fly to Kenya. The bucket list is I'd really like to rent out the entire giraffe manor for all of my friends. So many, many years ago. Can you guys get married there? Oh my God, that would be, I would die. Let's do it. Many years ago, I was like, my 40th birthday.

That'd be beautiful. My 40th birthday, well. Came and went. Or the place, remember? like, my 40th birthday. My 40th birthday. Well. Came and went. Or the place. Also, it's quite expensive. Or the place in Palm Desert where we were going to get married. Kenya, Palm Springs. Same. No, I know. No, I'm saying that would be, it's closer and cheaper. Not the same though. Giraffes don't belong in Palm Springs. Giraffes belong in Africa. I know. You remember going there though and seeing them.

I don't belong in Palm Springs. Drafts belong in Africa. I know. You remember going there though and seeing them. I've been to a lot of wildlife safari parks where they're not locked in little fences and they're happier. But anyway, I would love to go to Kenya and I would love to go to the draft manor and the major, major step ahead of that would be to rent it all out for all my friends and family.

So really if I just win a few million dollars, I could just like spend it all on that. Let's do it. And then my last bucket list is I want to smoke with Snoop Dogg. Oh, I did. I did. What? I smoked with Snoop.

Do you want the story? Yes, I want the story. Everybody needs the story, Tiana. I was like, I don't even smoke, but I would smoke with Snoop. No, you won't because you'll never smoke again. It was... I love him on The Voice right now. He's everything to me right now. Okay, so 2012, I worked in music.

I was with Lloyd at a BET pre-party or after-party something, but Lloyd was performing and we're friends, whatever. So I'm there, his DJ or somebody in his team was with me. Lloyd's on stage, we're like, woohoo, yay, blah, blah, blah. Who knows what I was wearing? All of a sudden his friend who's with me is like, Snoop and Bishop Don Juan keep staring at you and they're telling you to come over there.

So I was like, what? So I'm like, okay. So I'm like, walk over there. It's like Snoop and Bishop Don Juan, who if you don't know, looks like a 70s pimp. Like he's dressed like. Wait, is that the guy that's on Old School with the green hat? Yes.

He's just a... He's the hype man. Yes. So, he's there. I have no idea what I'm doing. I literally am staring at a thing on Kristen's wall that says, do it for the plot. My whole life, Rach can attest to, is just do it for the story. In my dining room, I have a 24 by 36 giant frame thing that says, do it for the plot.

Yeah, like my life is just do it for the story. So it is what it is. So I'm like, oh, okay. So I like walk over there, have no idea what they want. And they're like, oh, you want to smoke? I'm like, sure. At this time, I think weed was medically illegal here. So I probably had a card for just because.

So I smoke with them for a second, whatever. Things just start happening in my brain. And by the time Lloyd gets off stage, I apparently looked like a complete deer in headlights and was looking around like I'm being chased by the CIA, the FBI, Homeland Security. Wait, did you smoke weed really at all? I smoked a little, but not like a pothead.

No, I smoked like- And probably not their strain. Definitely not their strain. Definitely not their strain. So literally, it's funny because I ran into Lloyd last year and we talked about it again and he was like, yeah, you had a full panic attack. And I'm like, it wasn't a panic attack. I was being followed. When I tell you guys, so anyways, he gets off stage and I'm looking at him like, apparently

like I need help. And he's like, what happened? I'm like, oh, I smoked with da da da. He's like, who the fuck let her smoke with them? Like, he even knew. So his boy's like, oh, oh. And I was like, forever, by the way, I'll never name the person, but I literally think he was trying to murder me because why would you let me do that?

We get in the car to go somewhere else to like a next event or whatever. And everyone's like texting on their phones, whatever. And I'm like, you guys turn your phones off. Like when I tell you I thought we were being followed, I thought I was being followed. I don't know who was following, NSA, I don't know. You're just fully convinced, so now everything is triggering your parents.

I mean, full blown, like when people are like, oh, I get paranoid smoking, I'm like, no, no, you don't. Like, you don't understand paranoid smoking. Would you now ever want to smoke with Snoop again, being older and having your shit together? Or you didn't want to and you're done? Maybe I would take the little halfest puff of anything just to doop-doop. Do you ever want to smoke with Snoop again, being older and having your shit together? Or you did it once and you're done? Maybe I would take the little half-est puff of anything just to doop-doop.

But no, I would never. I probably didn't smoke again for like 10 plus years because I was like, true PTSD of weed is going to make me think I'm getting followed by everything. We were in a car and I was looking around. I looked like a psychopath. So anyways, yeah, no, it was terrifying. But I'm sure people who smoke weed, maybe it's fun. You have your hand up, Rach? Would you like to go?

I have a question. Straight A, Rach, what's up? Okay. I remember you mentioning the name Lloyd before in our friendship. I can't remember exactly who he is. He's a singer. It's you. Bring your green hat. Oh, no, no, that's Don Juan. No, that's not it. Yeah, he's the other one. I don't want to sing because I have no voice, but.

Yeah, no, it's okay. We can listen to it after. But now, do you think there was something else in that weed? Girl, I don't know. I mean, they were smuggling it. It was probably just really strong weed. I mean, I've had really strong weed when I was younger. I've had like, one time I had like a five course gourmet meal

by this chef in Detroit that was friends with my boyfriend. It was all me. Oh God, no, I would be dead. I was terrified. Okay, play. You know this song. Against the mic.

Wait, I want to put it where it makes sense. I know you've said this name a bunch of times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually like it. This song makes me want to go to a strip club. Yeah, Dionnie's lived a life though. We all, we, okay, let's just say this on the podcast. All three of us have lived quite the life.

Absolutely. We're settled down. We're fine. Oh, you are settled down. That must be nice. We're trying. I'm trying to be. Dionnie, you're getting there.

You are settled down just by yourself right now. Yeah, it's just you're just. You have lots of friends and family. You're frankly slightly more settled down than me. Your choice. Like you don't even drink, so whatever. I love that everyone says your choice. It's not my choice.

It was your choice and now you're choosing to put yourself out there. Good, good. To find the right person. Wait, so my bucket list, I'm reframing. Yes, okay. So I have a friend that got sick a few years ago and she, we started talking about bucket lists and then she was like, you know what? I'm not kicking the bucket.

I'm calling this my living list because I want to do all of this while I'm living. So I was like, oh, chill. Living list it is. 100%. I love it. I was like, that's so, because you're not going to do it after you kick the bucket. You want to- My nippies are hard.

Look at this. So yeah, you want to do everything while you're living. Yes. So it's a living list. You're crying? No, it just makes you cry a little living. Yes. So it's a living list. You're crying? No, it just makes you cry a little bit. That's so awesome. I love that.

Okay, so that's my living list. So Deonni, what's on your living list? Oof. It's weird. I keep doing this. It's funny as much as I'm like, I don't know. Just anything like in the moment. I mean, I'm sure we all have our own things.

I know. I keep saying, I don't know if I want kids, but then there's this weird visualization I have of me in a garden, which I own in definitely another country, barefoot, pregnant. Love. So I need, mine is like to have property, I don't know, Costa Rica, Thailand, somewhere, with a giant garden where I like live off my own land. Tanzania, giraffe manor is definitely on it as well. The Lantern Festival in Thailand was on it.

I did it and I was crying my eyes out the whole time. It was like, I don't even remember it. Cause I was like, oh my God. They're like, what did you wish for? I'm like, what was I supposed to wish? Like I just, oh my God. Can we do it again? I love it.

Rachel, what's on your, what's on your living list, Rachel? Both of those. You're looking at me like you want to marry me right now. No, I just love you. No, I just love you. I love you. I love you. Let's see.

Living list, right? What's my living list? I would like to see a fire in my new home. I'd like to see the fire go. Let's see. And then... Very attainable. Yeah, I would like to...

I don't know. I don't really know. I'd like to have a little boy that I get to, like, run around with. Yeah. Or a little tomboy type girl. I feel like either way, they'd be a little, like... Yeah, she'll be a little shit. She'll be you. She'll be you. Yeah. She's like part tomboy, part trophy wife.

She'll wear the worst outfit of all time. Not if her grandma has anything to say about it. Well, my mom... I know, she's... My mom's a fucking liar. She's claiming she doesn't... My mom let me leave in that outfit. I don't think she did.

I feel like she must have been out of town. I was never allowed to stay the night at people's houses. You said you were at school. I think you traded somebody's outfit at school. There's no fucking way. My mom, yeah. Cindy's a liar. I don't know.

I'd like to be happy. Yeah. Those are beautiful living listings. There's no fucking way. My mom, yeah, Cindy's a liar. I don't know. I'd like to be happy. Yeah. Those are beautiful living listings. I like it. I like it a lot. This was such a fun little time, ladies, with my giant hurricane and my big candle

at my dining room table. So fun. Love it. Well, this was a blast. I love you guys. We love you. We're just balancing life over here. You know what I mean? Doing the best we can. Sorry, I'm the crier of the fam.

Just today. Just today. I've been like this lately. I don't know why. Well, we'll find out very soon if you're either PMSing or if you're pregnant. Catch us next week. Catch us next week. And if I tell you, then you know it. Otherwise, we'll let you know in 12 weeks. What'd you say?

To wrestle a bear. Honestly, if Ron Burgundy was a 38-year-old woman. I love you guys so much. We'll talk to you next week. Bye. Make sure to follow us on social media. You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Doty and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke double underscore Broderick. Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with new episodes. Thanks for listening.

See you next week.