Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - Must-Ask Questions Before Moving in Together

Episode Date: August 10, 2024

Episode 122. It’s official! Kristen and Luke are finally moving in to a house together! In this episode, they share an update on the moving process and ask each other some important questions about what to expect once they settle in to their new place – from splitting chores, to expectations about eating meals together, weekly check-ins, and so much more! They wrap up the episode with a Q&A from listers and Luke is asked about his friendship with Tom Sandoval. Kristen opens up about all the plastic surgery/procedures she’s ever had done! Sponsors: Head to FACTORMEALS.com/balancing50 and use code balancing50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. Use code DOUTE at checkout for 15% off your entire order at www.vionicshoes.com when you log into your account.  Follow us: @kristendoute @luke__broderick Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. Hey, I'm Kayla Fazio, host of Habits You Love, a thought-provoking podcast about self-love, self-healing, and spiritual evolution. I take you on the journey of my own trauma healing and share real, raw, and authentic life situations. My mission is to expand your mind to what you think is possible for you, help you discover the power you have within

and create a life you love. Listen to Habits You Love on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello darlings, welcome back to another episode of Balancing Act. Hi love. Hi honey. Oh boy, are we balancing some shite right now. Saying we have a full plate would be an understatement. 100%. Very grateful. But I have mentioned this on Instagram before. I don't know if we talked

about this on the podcast or not. We've been trying to move out of this apartment that we share for weeks. And we got a house that we are renting that is just so much nicer, bigger, more space for both of us for the dogs. I'm super stoked about it. And the elevator in our apartment is broken. So how in the fuck do we move with a broken elevator? Well, we're gonna do it.

We're gonna do it. Stairs and strong men, I guess. I mean, I don't know how you get a king-sized bed through that doorway, let alone down flights of stairs. Or a giant wooden dining room table. Or the dining room table. There is another elevator on the complete other side of the building

that then would have to be brought all the way back to the doors that are right by us on this side of the building. So that's gonna add time and money and whatever. We're doing it. It's a little messy, stressy, sitch that we've been literally, it's been about a month that the elevator's been broken. At least three weeks.

Yeah. Yeah. We're moving. We're leaving this place. We're kicking rocks. I think they don't want us to leave, base. I think they just shut it down because they're like, we can't let Kristen and Luke move. We put in the 30 day notice and they're like, shut it down.

The elevator cannot work. And you know me, like I cannot handle that. Like I need justice. So I'm constantly emailing them and constantly trying to call them and text them, the management, like whoever is on the other end of this email address. And I even have Katie texting me all the time, like,

yo, have you heard anything about the elevator? Cause it seems like they don't give a flying buck. I think, you know, I just don't know. There's probably- How does it take that long to get an elevator part in LA? Like what? I don't know. I don't know if this is some special-

Yeah. It's not vintage. Right. Is this some German manufactured thing that has to come from the other side of the planet? I don't know. Yeah. Well, that's where we're at.

So on the bright side, we have keys to the house. We've been able to go to the house pretty often with the dogs, had some painting done, and we're getting ready to like, it's like a new chapter, because both of our name is gonna be on this, well is on this lease for the house. So even though we've been living together, I think we've been living together for a year, but it's like yes and no.

Yeah, I mean, there'll still be trips to Colorado, but there's just enough space here that I can have a little more. We have a garage, we have a backyard, we have a pool. There's some great- We don't feel like you're moving into my place now. No. This is the first time that I feel like we are getting our space.

Yes. Yeah. Well, that's fun as fuck. Yeah, it is. Why do I keep saying fuck today? I think I'm just really excited about the house. Sorry, guys. I'm so happy to be getting out of an apartment before starting to come to Los Angeles.

I hadn't lived in an apartment since 2014. So it was like eight years. Majority of my adult life, I hadn't lived in an apartment. Yeah, I hadn't lived in an apartment since 2018, other than this one. But you said that the majority, you've never rented a house before. I've never rented a house.

That's correct. So that this is like a little new to me on like how to deal with all the house stuff. But the house is super rad. I can't wait to get it all put together. I love to nest. It's like my favorite thing in the entire world. It's just finding and buying all the little things to make it our space. An excuse to load up the Amazon cart is Kristin's favorite thing.

Oh my god, Amazon. I have a serious problem. I'm starting to realize I have a problem. Amazon is just too easy. You're starting to realize? Yes, I'm starting to realize. I have shifted over to Etsy on some things. Okay, okay. Because a good friend of mine, we went to their home that they built over, it's been like five years, this amazing, gorgeous, gorgeous house. And I'm looking at all the light fixtures and their style is very similar to what mine and Luke's style is. And I found out she was

ordering a bunch of her light fixtures on Etsy. I was like, Oh girl, take me back to Etsy. So between Etsy and Amazon, I have an issue. But I just want to talk about moving in together. When you're, we're not married. So it's like, I guess we're cohabitating. We're living together. Yeah, but it's like, I don't know. It's some people moving together when,

pretty quickly after they start dating, some people wait till they're engaged. Some people wait until they are married, which to me, I think is insane. Yeah, well you say cohabitating, I don't know if this is true or not, but I kind of associate that word with two people living together

that are not interrelated. Roommates. Yeah, that are more just roommates that are not romantically involved, that aren't like trying to have a life together. Yeah, I don't want us to be roommates. Yeah, same. I think also cohabitating for whatever reason. They said it so many times with Tom and Ariana.

That's where my mind goes. And we don't want that for sure. No, not at all. So just living together. Instead of you coming to LA for two weeks at a time and going back to Colorado, we can spend more chunks of time here and bigger chunks of time in Colorado. Yeah, that'll make it, just everything will be better,

move smoother, not having a week to two weeks in Colorado, being able to be like four to six weeks there a couple times a year and the rest of the time here instead of these like nine trips back and forth I do in a year. So let's talk about some like living together things. I was doing some research on some different psychology websites and in some books I've read about relationships and couples moving in together.

And there's a lot of stuff that I feel like I wasn't really thinking about that I think would be really interesting for us to discuss right now. Okay. Let's do it. That we haven't really, I mean, I guess we kind of know some of these things, but some of these topics we actually haven't discussed together. And you and I are so different on what we prefer to do

and what we like doing and what we don't like doing in a house, which I think works for us. So we said, we obviously hired movers, but we are trying to do some moving ourselves. It's just, let's be real, we can't move furniture. So we both agreed we're hiring movers, paying for movers. It will make things go a lot easier and more swimmingly. And the awkward size stuff that's not going to pack into a van.

Well, we're taking trips over there, dropping some stuff off, putting stuff in the garage so that when they come... We also don't have enough dude friends here that are going to be... Some are strong enough, but not willing to help us. Well, it's too much of an ask at this age. I mean, when we were younger, no one wants to come help you move for pizza and beer anymore. Come on, everyone has their own stuff going on. I have girlfriends coming over to help us pack on Sunday,

and all they said they wanted was alcohol and lunch. Exactly. But that's not a full move. Like to hang out in the house and put stuff in boxes, totally. Getting people to do that. But the process of loading and unloading up and down stairs, putting stuff in the right rooms, unboxing, unboxing takes way longer than boxing because you have to figure out where everything goes.

Yeah. So I feel like it's more reasonable, like you said, for the friends to come over on Sunday, hang out in one place and put everything in boxes. That's great. Well, we're lucky with our unboxing because a good friend of mine, Chanel, who we've talked about, if you guys watch Vanderpump or The Valley, she's been featured on, and she has a company called Home on Point that does home organization. So she and her girls are actually coming up to LA from Orange County to literally help us like move in

once all of the boxes and furniture are there. So I think that's gonna be super helpful. But here's something I wanted to ask you beyond like the whole moving process. When we eat meals together, we 98% of the time do not sit at a table. When have we? Breakfast. I think breakfast sometimes we do.

But we're always like sitting on the couch, standing up and eating. So now that we have like a house that'll have a proper, I mean I have a proper dining room table built, do you think we will start eating like meals together at a table? Or do you think we're going to be couch people still? I would like to try to do that a bit more. Yeah, I think maybe we set a day aside. I think just with us, just us two, until we have a family.

Once we have a family, 100%, I think at least three, four nights a week, I'd like us to sit down at the table and eat and talk. And I grew up with that. That's something I want, but when it's just the two of us, we are together almost all the time. You don't wanna sit down and talk to me at the dinner table. No, I'm not saying I don't want to. I'm saying it's not necessary. Like if I was off working a job, you were working a job,

we didn't cross paths all that much, it'd be a crucial time for us to catch up. Sit down and eat and like connect and everything, But we're together all the time. We're filling each other in as things happen. And you know, when we want to eat, grab food, we sit on the couch, turn something on or just stuff our face and someone bounces out the door. I know. No? So. Maybe that's how we do it. I don't know. That could be fun. We could try a little bit.

You know, I'm down. Well, let's just have what if we did this. We each take one day a week that we cook for both of us and we have a sit down dinner. Okay. When one of us cooks for both of us. We cook pretty much every day. Right. But it's not like a planned thing.

Like if we had a day, like look, if you have Tuesdays, I have Thursdays. Fine, Luke. I get it. You don't want to have a beautiful dinner with your girlfriend. I'm saying yes. Candlelit dinner in our home. I'm saying I want to.

I just want to plan it. I'm a planner, and I know that annoys you. So when we're talking about just sitting down and eating together, kind of checking in with each other and talking about our days, this is something you and I have talked about for a long time just within our relationship, having like regular check-ins. Like are there any conflicts looming over?

I don't think we really ever get to that point. I don't get to that point because if something's bothering me, I'm like word vomit central. You know that. And I don't really get annoyed with you like often. It's more that I'm having a shitty day so then sometimes I take it out on you, which I love you and I'm sorry. But I can be a business sometimes. But I feel like, because we are together a lot, we talk to each other, we work together. But I like the idea of the weekly check-in.

It's like the end of the week, like whether, I don't know if it's on a Friday, it's probably not. Maybe it's more like on a Sunday, where we're like, okay, how was the week? What could we do differently or better next week or Sunday? Right. And just individually, like I ask you, you know, how well did I meet your needs this week? How well did I, you know, am I doing a good job of showing you love and do you feel like

fulfilled? Are you going to be serving me things on a like silver platter in nothing but a bow tie? Look, do you want a butler or do you want a boyfriend? Husband. Oh, I said in nothing but a bow tie. Oh, okay. Maybe if you have nothing but a sheet over you. Okay, fair enough.

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because it's not something I thought or I do think we would ever get an argument over, but this is something with an ex-boyfriend of mine we fought about constantly. Now, granted, he was a controlling narcissist, but something that we constantly fought over was having friends over, having guests over, having friends over, having a friend over. And how much is too much? Do we need to ask each other's, I guess, quote unquote, permission ahead of time? How do you feel about all of that?

You know, having a party or having a friend over, I think there's... No, let's take the party out of it. I'm just saying like having like a friend over, a couple of friends come over, like you want to have a couple of your guys come over to like watch a sport or like hang out in the backyard or do shit in the garage or whatever it is you guys do when we're not around. Or I mean, I feel like Zach just has a pass where like he's going to have a key. He can just come over pretty much whenever he wants and he would not show up unannounced anyway.

But what are your thoughts on that? Have you ever like had an issue like that or thought about it before? That's part of the check-in thing, I think, as well. Let's talk about it now, then. There are some, sometimes in relationships, someone might have an individual friend that the other person doesn't care for as much. Do I have any friends you don't care for as much?

I have friends that aren't your cup of tea, meaning you don't dislike them, but they get on your nerves. So basically where I'm going with this is I think it comes case to case and person to person, as in like there are times where it's like, of course, we both know nothing's going on. Have your friends come over. It doesn't matter. But if the Lions game is going to be on and you specifically want to watch it

and I were to bring a bunch of friends over to be like, now Colts game's on after, we're gonna be doing this, we're making noise and like distracting you. It really frustrates you, right? Yeah, but I think when it comes to football, we know how each other works. So that's just a bad example. Okay, fine, it's a bad example.

I'm just saying, if I want to have a couple of girlfriends over, would you want me to check in with you first and say, Hey babe, so and so and so and so are going to come by, you know, is that cool with you? Do we have anything going on at the house right now? Are you fine if my friends just pop over and I'm like, Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I think it is polite and respectful to basically see if the day is clear in case

you're forgetting about something. Right. Yeah. The only thing I'm saying in time to time and situation to situation is like, okay, if you know I'm going to be golfing, you don't have to ask me if you're going to or even say anything. I'm going to be gone for five hours, whatever. Okay. I guess the question that I read was like,

is there notice required? How much notice is required? I normally would not bring this up ever, but it's because of the one relationship that I was in that I would get so much shit for having wine on a Tuesday night with my girlfriends or inviting someone over when he wasn't there. And then he's like,

well, what the hell is that person doing there? I'm like, what does it fucking matter? It's my house too. Like, why can't I have friends over? Yeah. That's not a normal thing, I don't think. I don't think so either. Maybe it is.

I guess email us if that's a normal thing, something you guys go through. But I- Yeah, I'm curious what you guys all think, you know, those of you who are married, who are not married, who are in romantic relationships, who live together now and what that was all like for you guys. Right, I guess to wrap up my wishy-washiness. Okay. I think we're both pretty easygoing.

I think so too. It would be a unique situation if it created a problem. However, I think it is respectful to bring it up if it's a situation, you know, if it's like gonna be a thing, that's it. But I don't see a problem happening. I get back, come home when you have all your Venice friends over, I don't, I'm not. I get back, come home and you have all your Venice friends over.

I don't, I'm not going to get upset. Right. Okay. Let's talk about, for lack of a better word, like adult chores, which we already share, I think very well in this apartment. Now a house is going to be a lot bigger. I think we both like keeping our place clean and tidy and never really have an issue with that.

But do you think we, I don't know, there's part of me that is like, should we have a little calendar to-do list, not a calendar, but like a to-do list type thing, like every week or every week, these things have to be done. Like obviously, if we need to do dishes or laundry, we just fucking do it. We both do, right? No big deal. But with a house, there's like more to consider. So do you think we should have like kind of a chore list or just figure it out?

I mean, organization always helps, right? I think that there are, we have different strengths. Yeah, like I'm, you are so good at hand washing dishes. That's not what I'm saying. You're so good at it. Like probably the best I've ever seen. Oh, come on. That's enough of that'm saying. You're so good at it. Like probably the best I've ever seen. Oh, come on. That's enough of that. It's true.

Like you do it with such caution and care. And I would never want to step on your toes. Let's talk laundry, Kristin. Another thing you're really good at. I mean, one would think that you worked in men's retail your whole life. You are so good at folding clothes. Look, if you just... Okay, we need to have

some good labeling system. I will right now tell you, I will take care of the laundry, as long as I know where to put your stuff, because your stuff ends up piled up in places, and it's like all over the place. I'm saying that's like, I'd say that's the one thing that is the least organized as far as our tidy thing is when laundry, clean laundry, stacked, folded, done laundry gets stacked up in places. And I know where some stuff

goes, but some of it I just like I'll open a drawer and be like, okay, there's shorts, t-shirts and a hoodie in this one drawer. I don't know what else to put in this or where to put anything. I think that is something I will gladly take over. All the laundry. But I'm not doing laundry and dishes all the time. I lie somewhere in between being OCD as hell. But then the other part of me is just like, I don't wanna see it in front of me.

So if I hide it in this drawer behind this door in this closet, then I don't have to look at it. Yeah, that's fair. And then I open the walk-in closet and I'm like, I can't even open it because there's just stacks of clothes on the floor, which makes me want to get rid of things. As far as the house goes though,

let's talk about the additional chores there's gonna be, which isn't gonna be that much because the owner of this house already has a gardener, a pool person, and the gardener- You sound so bougie. Well, I mean, we didn't hire him. I know, but I've never had a pool person before. Yeaher. Sounds so bougie. Like, well, I mean, we didn't, we didn't hire him. I know, but I've never had a pool person before. Yeah.

Moving on up. So as far as responsibilities go, all we have to do with trash, the gardener takes the trash out. He comes over once a week and it's the day before trash comes. So great. They're, they're going to take the trash to the street corner. You just want me to be better at my own laundry. Shit. Just tell me where it goes. I know where it goes. I'm fine with that. So great, they're going to take the trash to the street corner. So you just want me to be better at my own laundry shit?

Just tell me where it goes. Okay. If I know where it goes, I'm fine with that. I think general cleaning, I think we need to have a cleaning day set and we both do it as far as like real cleaning, not as tidying up like spraying down all surfaces, dusting, vacuuming. So would you be against me pretending we have a five-year-old and making like a chore list with like little stars. Yes.

Butterflies. Yes. I'll get you butterfly stickers. And yeah, if I complete my tour, I get a butterfly sticker. Perfect. See, rewards. And then if you do it for enough weeks in a row, you get a new tattoo.

Oh, that's fun. Oh my God, I like this. And this is being recorded for quality assurance so you can't take it back. So that'll be our fair and, I think our chores that we, I think we just get along so well and we communicate that it is fair but flexible. Yeah, I mean, we pick up each other's slack.

It's part of what works so well with us. Yeah, and I have days where I'm just like, oh my God, I'm ADHD like crazy and I'm gonna sit here and do everything. Like you ever see all those memes and stuff on Instagram? It's like the best way to get someone with ADHD to clean their whole house is say you're coming over and then don't come over.

So if like anyone, like Zach doesn't count, Brittany doesn't count, like my best best friends don't count. But if any other random friend, like if you had a friend that wasn't one of my best friends and you were like, oh, Jeff's coming over in about an hour, that house, you will be able to lick the floor. That is how fast I will clean that whole house. I don't know why, it's like a pressure thing.

I need to be put under pressure. Otherwise I'm like, me house. I don't know why, it's like a pressure thing. I need to be put under pressure, otherwise I'm like, meh. I mean, I totally get it. That's literally why I would throw parties sometimes. I'm like, this place needs cleaned up, and I text everyone and be like, tomorrow night party. I'm like, boom, pressure's on, go time. And then my toxic trait is when we're gonna have a party,

I ask my cleaning lady to come before we either have people over or the party. So the house looks so nice when the people arrive and then it gets trashed. And I'm like, now I have to go and clean it up. Is there anything that you feel like when we move in or like as we're moving or let's say the first week, first two weeks, anything that's going to like annoy you or trigger you or irritate you. Is there anything off the top of your head?

That you're going to do? Yeah, that I could do that you're like, oh God, I already know Kristen's like this. So if I could be a different way instead, or like less of a certain way to make things smoother or easier on you. If you start stacking clean laundry in the spare bedroom, in the corner.

Okay. So when Chanel comes over to help us with organization, let's tell her this, Chanel, I know you're listening. We need to find a system where my clothes don't end up in piles. Yes, and I will- She's like, Kristen, I can't be you for you.

She has multiple children. Look, I will put it away when I'm finished folding it if I know where to put it. That's all. And I don't want to add to the stack, so I end up leaving it in... So if anyone wanted to know what Luke and I fight, not fight about... We haven't fought about it. No, we don't fight. We haven't fought about it at all.

I just mean that's one thing that would be fantastic if it wasn't lingering. And my only thing with you is you like to leave little things all over the counter and it makes me fucking crazy. Just me, I'm looking at makeup wipes, purse, sunglasses. Yeah, you're looking at a trashed apartment right now with boxes everywhere.

Okay, all I'm saying is it's not just me. I do know what you're saying. I'm not denying it. I have a cute little bowl right next to the door. That's where the keys go. And who loses their keys, Kristen? Me. Okay.

That's where they're just supposed to go. But then on our kitchen counter right now, it's like one lighter and one, I don't know, like a bottle cap or one chapstick. Whose bottle cap, Kristen? Oh, come on, you know what I mean. All I'm saying is to both of us, yes, I don't know, like a bottle cap or like one chapstick. Who's bottle cap, Kristin? Oh, come on. You know what I mean. All I'm saying is both of us. Yes, I'm accepting and I acknowledge that I do it as well, but it's not just me.

And you and your change. Where's change right now? You and your coins. It's all in the cups. You love to stack coins, you guys. It's like my ADHD, OSD, OCB, whatever. Something about Luke. It doesn't actually bother me because it's kind of adorable,

but I don't fucking understand it. And it's in Colorado too. Whenever Luke loves change because like coins, because he's like- I'm a bit of a coin collector. You are. And you do like historical coins and looking through dollars and coins and all that.

But I like putting all of my change into like a jar and then one day we'll like dump it at Coinstar or whatever. You like to put tiny little stacks of coins. We stack quarters, then you do your nickels and dimes on top and pennies beside it. And then when there's too many pennies, then you start another penny stack. Then I eventually move it into the penny jar and then I've got my other silver jar and my quarter jar. Have you seen those in the cabinets in Colorado?

No, because I just throw everything in a drawer when you're gone. Yeah, fair. And then I go back through at night sometimes and organize them when I'm sitting there and can't sleep. Yeah. But I feel like all in all, like you're fine with me taking over all of the decor, even though I do like run things by you, because I don't want you to feel like it's like a girly, boho-y house, which is like my style. I try to incorporate some masculinity into it, but you really don't give me opinions.

I mean, look, I don't have the vision. I don't like to put it all in perspective, the way, the colors, the couch and the furniture, everything like that, like that doesn't all come to me. But if you ask me between these options, I can give you a good opinion. Yeah, you're the builder, I'm the decorator. Yes, designer. Yeah, that works for us.

I'll hang the fixtures. You guys gotta tell me which one. And do we wanna like get better on bedtimes? Like together or in your opinion opinion does it not really matter? I think we should have a time that we are in bed. We can put on a movie or whatever, but yeah, I think so. Because it does happen a lot. Both of us are guilty of falling asleep on the couch.

And we're about to get a new lovesack couch that is going to be the most comfortable thing in the face of the planet. And how do you think we're not gonna fall asleep on that couch? I'll set a timer. Do we just say slumber party living room night? And then every other night we need to say,

we have to be in bed at this time. So we wake up at this time. Right, getting on some sort of semi-normal sleep schedule would be fantastic. Yeah, I'm not gonna do that. I know you get upset when I go to bed and you wake up and I'm not on the couch with you. Yeah, and Luke's like, I did wake you up.

I'm like, call in your BS, bro. Kristen. Do you want me to check the Nest camera? Just kidding, I wouldn't do that. Sure. I'll wake you up three times sometimes and start picking you up and you're just like, no. I'm like, okay, you're on the couch tonight, babe.

Is there anything else that you can think of like that people have written us about things we've thought about and talked about that we could, I don't know, explore? So we like going into this. It's like super exciting, brand new start. And we're not going to have these like shitty hurdles because we never thought of them. I mean, there's all kinds of her herders hurdles hurdles that there will be once you know, baby comes our way.

Well, of course, I think we've got this. We've were stronger than ever. We're in this apartment little apartment where I don't have much stuff. I think this is only going to make everything better with the house. I'll have my own space in the garage. I know I've said it a hundred times. Yeah. It'll be like your little man cave area, builder area. Yes. Which I'm totally fine with.

And you have complete and total final say on everything within the house in the garage. I do. That's it. Perfect. Perfect. I have literally not been in that garage except for the very first day that we looked at the house. I forget that it's even there. I can't wait.

There's already a workbench in there. Okay. And let's go back to because you said babies when we have a baby. We're not pregnant. We are not. That's the update on our fertility. We are not pregnant. Not pregnant.

We're TTC, trying to conceive. And that's kind of it right now in the fertility front. If we don't see some success like we had last year, somewhat soon, I think we have both talked to, well, we have both talked to my doctor about it. And I think that, Luke, yes, we're on the same page that we are now willing to talk to a fertility specialist, because that's something I've been really afraid of. Because in my brain, if we talk to one, it's almost like a manifesting bad juju

that we're gonna have to do IVF. I don't feel that way. I feel that... Well, I'm learning that that's not the case. I can just talk to someone and find... You know, there's so many things before we get to that point. Right, they're specialists, they're the experts in the topic. You know, they're gonna want all the data, they wanna know everything you've been talking to

Dr. Rothbard about and more. And they're gonna wanna continue with the blood tests and everything to track and see, and oh, sorry, my mind's jumping ahead. But you know, you asked about the bedtime stuff. I think getting any sort of regularity into our lives, any sort of routine can only help as well. Because it's like, okay.

Less sleep is always means more stress. It's bad for the gut, it's bad for the brain, it's bad for everything. I think it's a really bad for my fucking mood. I'll tell you that because mom needs her sleep or I'm not the nicest bear in the world. Right. I think it's a Chinese proverb or something like that,

but it says, no one is more miserable than the person who has to wake up and figure out what they're doing that day. Like... It's a Chinese proverb. Yes, I may have made that up. But it's something with wisdom involved, you know what I'm saying?

I'm with you, I'm with you boo. All I'm saying? I'm with you, boo. All I'm saying is if we, you know, having a calendar, having a schedule, knowing, having a morning routine where you're not waking up and making decisions and having to like turn your brain on to think, what do I have to do today? Oh, what should I have for breakfast?

Do I have any clean clothes? Do I, you know, are we out of bagels? Are you know, these, all these thoughts going through your head to wipe that out, to wake up and be like, I know I'm having a bagel and a cup of coffee. And you wake up and do it. Is it just starts the day off on a better note than all the confusion and making all these decisions? Yeah, that's a really good point. Okay, cool. Well, as we said, you guys, for real, would love to hear from you, whether it is a DM or email us.

Our email is still sexlovepodcast at gmail.com. And I would just love to hear any tips or tricks or questions or hurdles you've had to go through when you've moved in with your significant other that maybe it's things we're not thinking about that could only help. So we're all ears. Now I want to get to some questions from our listeners. Okay, let's do it. And there are a bunch,

but I will say most of them had to do with you and Tom Sandoval. I see, okay. So this was one that bothered me because the question is, so it's to me, why do you allow Luke to be friends with Sandoval? So Luke can always do whatever the hell he wants. There's no allowing or not allowing anything.

I can tell Luke a preference I have on his friends or when he goes out or whatever, because I'm such a homebody. Sometimes I'm like, oh my God, you go out so much, which you don't really. But as far as allowing him to be friends with anyone, it's up to him. It doesn't rub me the wrong way. And also I think people have this narrative in their head

that you and Tom Sandoval are like bosom buddies. That's funny. I think that that is such a like a misconception and a narrative that has grown because when we've done the podcast and we have spoken about Vanderpump cast or when we were doing recaps, you do like to kind of look at both sides of things.

And my narrative is a little bit different because of my past with Tom. I don't have hate in my heart. I don't even really dislike Tom at all. I just, sometimes I just don't want to touch shit with a 10 foot pole because my life is calm and chaotic enough as it is. I don't need to bring in outside chaos.

That's how I feel. And I feel like, you know, I want the best for Tom. Tom, I'm sure you're gonna hear this and probably post some more text messages on Instagram, bro. But I really do, I want everyone to be healthy and happy and better and do better and go to therapy and be better people. It's just hard for me to want to hang out with someone

who is making such shitty decisions. But Luke, like I said, Tom is not your best friend. So how do you feel? Do you wanna speak about your friendship with Tom? Tom and I have had fun. We run into each other at the bar more times than we plan to hang out. Yeah.

Like that kind of describes it, but when we've been together, we've had a good time. And he's been the same person to me. I'm sorry to all the listeners who want me to judge him based on everything you've seen on Vanderpup Rules. That's something that's not gonna change about me. I judge the person based on my experience with him. And so, yes, these decisions have been-

But nor are you calling Tom to say, oh, I need some advice or wanted to talk to you about my relationship with Kristen. And same, he hasn't done that with me. He doesn't call me for advice. He doesn't call me to talk about Victoria. So you're not friends, I would say you're buddies. I'd say we're more than cordial. We're more than acquaintances.

We're buddies, for sure. It does not bother me because it just doesn't. It's not like he's inviting Sandoval to our house so the three of us can have a kumbaya circle. Yeah. I mean, in my defending him, as people want to bring up all this and get off pissed off and frustrated and whatever, I guess I'm playing the...

Devil's advocate. ...playing devil's advocate, playing more moderator, mediator, whatever, saying like, look, there's two sides to the story or just like, I don't believe that it was an intention, regardless of how it looked on headlines. And I think too, because Kyle Chan is obviously one of your best friends in LA. If not your best guy friend in LA. And Kyle and Tom being so close, you end up by proxy. Like you end up hanging out with Tom more.

And it's like surface level fun stuff, right? Yeah. Luke's a very good judge of character, a very strong willed person. So I just don't worry about it. Does not bother me in the least. I do not have a problem with Tom's animal. Yeah. So, okay.

Let's get some more fun questions. Luke Indica or Sativa. Yes, please. That's a good answer. I will say as someone who does smoke marijuana, I love cannabis at times, I've always gone with this rule of like indica means in the couch. So it's a sleepy time weed. Sativa is like creative or more awake time weed.

Now do I believe that now that it is recreationally legal in most a lot of states and the states that we live in, I don't believe it because honestly when I walk in, you know, I if I ever go into a weed store to buy something and they're like, so what do you want? Like, do you want like the white widow Kush or like the chocolate chip cookie dough, whatever like ice cream cone flavor? And I'm like, guys, I don't know what the hell you're talking about. I want something that's going to make me sleepy. That is what I want. whatever like ice cream cone flavor and I'm like guys I don't know what the hell you're talking about I Want something that's going to make me sleepy that is what I want So Indica and Steve it goes back from the origin of the plants. I can bore you all day Steve It originated more in Africa and Indica in the like Himalayas

Right, and it's me. I didn't know that and it was was initially more about like kind of the way the plant grew I mean, I didn't know that. And it was initially more about kind of the way the plant grew versus the effects of it. And then it started to come into effect. And now there's been so many crosses as far as everything is pretty much a hybrid. There are very few true endocosins sativas left. Person to person, there's been research done that the terpenes matter more than the... Terpenes are like the flavors or smells you get out of it, right? They matter more than the amount of THC as far as what kind of high you get and which terpenes are available in the plant.

But it is all person to person. Kristin, you and I will share the same joint. We're so opposite. We're opposite. I'll pass out and you'll be like wired. Or I'll be wired and you'll pass out. I was like, man, I could go to the gym right now. Wish the grocery store was open.

I could do everything. Totally. So even with a pure sativa, you're going to get different effects from different people. That answer from us, sativa or indica, is kind of like, I don't know, don't knock it till you try it. Pretty much. Right? Yeah. Different strokes for different folks.

Different strokes for different folks. I mean, Blue Dreams, a classic sativa, however, a lot of people fall right asleep. It's called Blue Dreams. I would hope it made me go to sleep. Some people just only get tired when they smoke weed, no matter what the weed is. And some people can smoke 10 joints a day and still be high functioning. That's true. I don't get it. I like to hit a joint a few times before bed. Okay. Luke, this is for you. Tips for owning a German shepherd. They just got one and it says send help. So

we don't know how young or old this German shepherd is. You know, that's the one thing we don't know because you've had Jill since she was little. So 10 weeks. And she's very, very well trained. So what is your advice? Don't give up. Don't give up because Jill is amazing, but she was an absolute terror as a puppy. She did destroy a lot of things. At the time, it was on my ranch. I had chickens. She killed chickens as like a four-month-old puppy. She would get into things, anything she could get into.

She could open doors. She could do all the things. So we did start with some crate training. You have to be resilient. Try a fan, a blanket over it, whatever. Crate training is tough. I tried that with Gibson and I could not take it.

The crying, I was like, he's so sad. But he's so small, it didn't really matter. But keep going, sorry. The keys I would say are one, crate training, two, just be consistent with your training, whatever it is, just be consistent. And three, wear them out. wear them out, run them. They'll be so much better altogether if you get them tired.

It's gonna take up more of your day, but the rest of your day will be more peaceful if you can wear that dog out. Because they do require that. This is not an apartment dog, I'll tell you that much. Right, wear the dog out, and the rest of your day will be better. Yeah, consistency I think is key in training any animal for sure, I'll tell you that much. Right. Wear the dog out and the rest of your day will be better. Yeah.

Consistency, I think, is key in training any animal for sure. But I do like the original. Just don't give up. Don't give up. Just don't give up. And I'm going to say that to all and any dog owners out there. Please don't give up. A dog is not a Christmas present.

And I'm not saying this to our amazing listener who just got a German Shepherd. I'm saying to everyone out there that is listening, that if you're not as crazy, passionate about rescues as maybe I am, just don't buy a dog for someone for Christmas. And then one little mistake happens and you say, oh, I'm giving it up. It's so unfair. Also, everyone needs to know when you go buy a dog,

if you're buying a dog, if you're rescuing a dog, whatever the cost to get that dog is, is the cheapest thing you're going to have to do with that dog. Very good point. Between a vet, between replacing blinds or a couch or whatever it may be. It's rare that you have a dog that doesn't ever cause any problems, doesn't piss in the house and you have to replace the carpet or rug. That something doesn't happen.

Maybe they ate something they weren't supposed to at the park or on a walk, and then they get diarrhea in your bedroom. Like that's not necessarily the dog's fault. It's an animal, it's part of their nature, right? Right, and the better owner you are, and trainer you are, the better off your dog, the happier your dog's gonna be,

the more well-behaved your dog's gonna be, therefore the happier you are going to be. Exactly, look, survive the first two years, survive the first two years, and really put in the time to be, therefore the happier you are going to be. Exactly. Look, survive the first two years, survive the first two years and really put in the time to train and you should have, you know, 10 great years with an amazing dog. It sounds almost like you're talking about a human. Like the first two years being a toddler, it's real tough, but after that, I think you should be good for 10 more and then it's going to suck again. And don't get fooled with like the teenage years, cause there will be a time when

there's still a puppy very much for dogs. Yes. Dog teenage years because there will be a time when there's still a puppy, very much for dogs, yes, dog teenage years. There'll be a time when there's still a puppy and they're listening to everything. And you're like, oh my gosh, I have the greatest dog. They sit when I say they come, they do all this stuff. Because they're so happy to please. Exactly, and then one day they're gonna stop listening.

They're gonna test you over and over. It's gonna be frustrating, but it's something that you over and over. It's gonna be frustrating, but it's something that's going to happen. It's not an if, it's a win. Yeah, for sure. And then just harder on the training guys. I always recommend to truly, if you have questions, go back and listen to our podcast with Kirsten McMillan,

who is Gibson's trainer, as well as like a wild animal trainer, literally, and trains dogs as well. But her Instagram handles adventures and dog training. So any other questions about that? But yeah, and if you have questions about German Shepherds, keep asking Luke. And he's been there, done that, bought the t-shirt.

I have, I have. For sure. And it's worth it. I'm saying it's worth it. Chill is just the greatest thing. Okay, next question. Are there any good books or shows that we can recommend right now? Oh, that's so broad.

Something you're not as into this season, but as everyone knows, Naked and Afraid is one of our favorite things. Oh, absolutely. The last one standing is- Oh, that's a great one. It comes out, a new one every week. It's I think three episodes,

three or four episodes into this season. It's good. I don't know, the format kind of changed from last season, so it was a little different. Kristen has a little less interest than she does in the other ones. But I don't know. I still like it. I like we've seen all of them. So I know who all these people are. And I love all reruns of Duck Dynasty. I've become so obsessed with that show that it's now like my background show. So it's just on TV all the time, the reruns.

That's a great one. Yeah, I love it. It is so wholesome, it is hysterical. I mean, there's a reason that it was like, I forget what it was, season four, episode 13, something like that was like the number one most watched docu-series type show, maybe ever of all time. It's fantastic. I mean, there's drama, but it's such little drama

and it's just funny. It's like funny family wholesome drama. Yeah. And it's absolutely hysterical. But what about scripted shows? Oh man, what's a scripted show? Oh, I'm excited for the new Dexter. Oh yeah, you told me about that. Mm-hmm. Okay.

That's going to be, there's like a prequel. I think they're doing a prequel and a sequel is what I read. So I'm excited about that. And based on a true story, the Kayleigh Cuoco show, that has a new season coming out. Very excited about that. Okay, just a couple more things. Oh, this is for me. Kristen, name all of your plastic surgery because Ariana did.

I've always been super open about this. The very first time I ever got any sort of injections, I got Botox when I was 30, and I got filler in my lips. I believe it was Juvederm, but not sure. I also got filler voluma. I got filler in my cheeks at the time, because to help with the hollowed out part under my eyes. But then I broke my face, like a month later. So then I had total reconstructive surgery on the then I broke my face like a month later.

So then I had total reconstructive surgery on the right side of my face. So since then I've had AirSculpt done, which I'm very excited about. It's all over my social media. I've talked about it on here a million times with Dr. Rollins and I've tried some other things like CoolSculpt, MSculpt,

that's not really plastic surgery. And now I just get Botox and sometimes a little bit of filler in my lips or a Botox lip flip. That's pretty much it, right? All right, you ready for my list? Yes, Luke. I've had stitches twice. That's like kind of plastic, they fix it.

It's not at all. Okay, fair. Okay, I don't have any. Luke, is Luke liking LA more is Luke liking LA more let me ask him Luke are you liking LA more you know I'm having more fun this summer yeah I am and I think when we have the house it'll change things drastically it will and I honestly think a big part of it it's an old saying and maybe not's not even a saying, but.

Is this a Chinese proverb as well? Okay, sure it is, it's a Chinese proverb. Let's go down that road again. If you work out, your mental health will be better. It's a Chinese proverb, look it up. I just feel like I have less anxiety. Days I get to work out, I feel so much better than days I don't now.

I'm like getting back to being addicted to it. I'm only a couple months into working out. I've gained weight, I feel better, I look better. All those things positively affect me mentally. And I think that's a huge reason why I'm happier out here than I have been. Yeah. So read more questions.

This is for me. Is it true, or I guess for you, Luke, is it true, Kristen, where's your cologne? Yes. I sure do. As much or more often than I do. Pretty much every day. Anytime I'm leaving the house to go out and do something,

not running errands, I just put a little spritz on. And what kind of cologne is it? I still don't remember. So the bottle says white elixir. OK. However, there were multiple bottles that said white elixir. At this cologne store, I bought it out,

and they said these are custom blends. And that gave me the note profiles for them and I smell the different ones and that one was by far the best. Well, son of a bitch, how do we buy another bottle? We find someone that can remake it. I don't know if we can find another bottle of it. Oh damn. So you need to go easy on it, babe.

Okay, I'll use it less. I've had it for two years. Can I just have the rest of it? No. Okay, fine. We'll go cologne shopping together. That sounds good to me. Okay.

Luke, what is your food guilty pleasure? Well, this is for both of us. Chips. What kind of chips? I've been going more just sea salt chips than the vinegar and sea salt. So I'll just say chips. Like I like the basic ones. I'm not big on Doritos or.

See, I like Cool Ranch Doritos. I think that's probably my guilty pleasure, but I can't have many of them because I get sick, I feel sick. And like I like Sun Chips. And I think Froyo or like Soft Serve is like my guilty pleasure. I mean, right now I don't like ice cream.

Right now I am not guilty about any of it. No, you're not. Give me all the calories. That's true. Okay, and I'll actually, I'm going to put two more questions. So this one's very quick for me. It was, how was Gibson's workday that we talked about before? And does he have an agent?

His workday was fantastic. I cannot wait to tell you who the client was and who he got to shoot with, the person, the human. I don't think I'm allowed to say it right now. He has worked on two other big jobs. One was a Ralph Lauren print shoot with, like for Ralph Lauren kids. That was so much fun when I wasn't there on set, but I got to see like videos of basically just Gibson sitting and playing with kids and he's just totally adorable. And then he got to work on The Masked Singer, but didn't end up shooting the actual show.

He worked for two days, but then when the audience came in, there were like LED lights and LED soundstage and a floor. And it was a little distracting because he had never worked on something like that. And he does not have an agent, but he has a trainer and she submits him. And so he actually has like headshots. It's so cute.

It will give you the model. Yeah. Okay, last question. Luke, give me two things on your bucket list. New Zealand and Australia. Okay, so both are traveling. I mean, I wouldn't do all that in one trip. Like literally if we could do a month, that'd be amazing.

I don't know if that'll ever be possible, but no less than two weeks. Okay, mine is I want to go on the EMOs, not dead cruise, maybe next year or the year after. Okay, welcome. And I want to tandem bungee jump with you. Sweet, yeah, let's do it. Because I didn't realize that we could do that

until you told me that like a week ago. And I would shit my pants before I could do it by myself, but tandem I could. And then if it broke, we'd both die, so it'd be fine. until you told me that like a week ago. But tandem I could. And then if it broke, we'd both die. Guys, thanks so much for joining us. Thanks for listening, everyone. Bye. Make sure to follow us on social media. You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Doty and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke double underscore Broderick.

Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with new episodes. Thanks for listening. See you next week.