Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - Q&A with Kristen & Luke

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

Episode 60. This week, Kristen and Luke answer listener questions from an AMA posted on Instagram. Kristen addresses questions about Scandoval (for the last time) and talks about her recent conversation with Tom Sandoval. They discuss jealousy in long distance relationships, whether they are moving and where, and potential wedding plans. What part of VPR Season 2 has been the most difficult for Kristen to watch back? Tune in for all the details.  Sponsors: Dipsea is offering an extended 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/KRISTEN Head to TRYFUM.com and use code DOUTE to save an additional 10% off your order today Follow us: @kristendoute @luke__broderick Email us: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, Bates? Happy Halloween! Welcome back to another episode of Sex Love and Weddles Matters. Coming to you from sunny Colorado. It is sunny, it is actually really nice today. We just had this gnarly snow storm, but as it does out here, we got inches of snow and it was all melted the next day. Dude, it was like a high in the 70s, and then the very next day, it was a low of 19 degrees, with like crazy snow, crazy snow, like blizzardy types of snow.

I was freezing my tots off, man. I was not prepped for this weather and my my little nips were cutting glass That's all I got to say about that So we're in Colorado. We've been here since last Thursday We're gonna be here for a few more days and then we're heading back to California We are out here shooting some scenes for a movie, a film that we've been talking about, a little bit here and there, and it's been going really well,

and super fun, until last night. And yeah, last night, lots of questions coming in about this cactus-ass. My cactus-ass. Hahaha. Kristen's lovely cactus-ass. Yeah, it was not good. You guys, like it was insane.

Okay, so I have been, I've had like a cactus needle in me before, but like if you're not familiar or you don't live in an area of the US or the world where cactus are around, cacti, I was in Mexico once very inebriated. And I like standing like rolled into this big giant tall cactus with those big thick long needles. And I definitely got pricked by those,

but this shit that happened to me last night was like next level. Okay, so let's just tell the story. So last night, we were filming a scene of round of bonfire, and we were like, basically I was filming and sitting on this wood and bench with like, what am I trying to say?

It's an old church pew. An old church pew, thank you. So it has like a cushion on it. And it was like a little damp, but I was like, and we're fine, we're by a bonfire. Let's just, you know, get these scenes shot. We're totally chill. So I'm sitting on it.

I think I'm totally fine. My bust is a little cold, it's a little wet. It's a little numb. And when we finish, I'm like, my butt is like kind of itchy, but it's still, I think it's just cause it's wet and I'm cold. And we get finish, I'm like my butt is like kind of itchy, but it's still, I think it's just because it's wet and cold. And we get back to Luke's place. And I'm like, dude, I think I have like a splinter. I think if splinters or something, like it's really irritating me, like it hurts, like it hurts a lot. So I yank my pants down and I'm like, dude, get back there, check it out. And

as I posted on Instagram, I'm still thinking I just have all these teeny tiny splinters because we're out in the middle of the ranch like there's wood everywhere. I don't fucking know. And all of a sudden Luke says live on Instagram that he's pulled out about 100 and it's cactus. Can you explain these fucking microscopic red like devil needles? Yeah, I don't know technical term for him, but essentially, a lot of these cactus out here have below the big main spines have a ton of these tiny little like irritating red spines. They're like hairs.

They're like shit ton, they're like hairs, yeah. And they can get embedded in you and really cause irritation. I mean, they're probably like what, maybe like a millimeter to two millimeters long. Yeah. They're really, really small. Yeah, and I picked, yeah, over a hundred out

with the tweezers and there were some I just could not see and they were still driving Kristen nuts. To the point, she had a bit of a breakdown. I had a fucking meltdown. I had a mini meltdown. I started crying. I was like, I can't sleep like this. I am absolutely miserable.

I get that you can't get them out of Tweezers. So I'm googling. It's like, take white glue and gauze. Take duct tape. It's like 1230 in the morning. On the ranch, kind of middle of nowhere, it's not like there's just stores open everywhere. You can't like postmates and like Elmer's glue and Luke was like, dude, no, I'm going. I'm going to the store. I'm like, there is no store. There are no stores. And like my allergies are bothering me, and I need a benedrial. Yeah, so I went to the store.

My name is. My name is my, my bit of advice to men out there that might be listening is when you're woman's hysterical and you know something that could make it better. Even if she tells you, no, don't go. Do not go do that. Right now, just go do it. She'll appreciate it later. That's true. I was like, I'm fine. No, now I'm gonna feel guilty because you're going to the fucking store at 12.30 in the morning

and you have to like drive on the freeway. And he came back with Benadryl and DuckTape and the DuckTape fucking worked. I wish I would have filmed that to be honest. I read that you just, he needs to put DuckTape on my butt and rip tape and the duct tape fucking worked. I wish I would have filmed that to be honest. I read that you just, he needs to put duct tape on my butt and rip it off like you're waxing, like you're VJ or something or waxing your legs. So he started doing it and outcome these tiny little

annoying fucking red cactus needles. Yeah, there probably a couple of dozen still that I hadn't even seen. I couldn't see them until I checked the duct tape when I pulled it out. So my ass is feeling much better. It's red and bumpy, but doing better. Thanks everyone for asking.

Yeah, and the duct tape method is verified. It is verified. It worked very well. And I'm just feeling like a little off. Let me just be very crystallically clear honest. I think I've said this before, but I'm on an antidepressant. I've been taking Luxe Pro for about two years. And I ran out of my prescription right.

Literally I was driving, I was in an Uber going to the airport to come to Colorado last week. And I realized I didn't have enough for the trip. So I was gonna run and get my prescription. And I was like, fuck, I'm gonna miss my flight. So I figured I'd be okay. Anyone that takes an SSRI out there, y'all know, that was a bad idea.

So I have now been out for a couple of days and it makes me feel like I have the flu. So that's just one more thing. I'm basically just like the easiest girlfriend ever to deal with right now. You're right. Luke, you're a fucking angel. That's what you are. Thanks.

Yeah. It's a rough one out there, and it's been delivered to my apartment in LA, and we will be here until Thursday, coming back Friday. So I am a dream right now. That's what I'm trying to say. You're talking about.

It's all good. Thanks babe. Okay, but we decided to do, ask me anything this week because a lot of you guys ask a lot of questions and we haven't done one in a hot minute, so this podcast is for you. So let's get to it.

Well, yeah, what we said, most people just wanted to know about the cactus in my ass, so there's that. Let me get through one of these, maybe, really quickly because we weren't gonna go there, the scandal of all situation, but we're just gonna say this for the very last time because honestly, I don't feel like giving Tom Sanable

any more airtime, any more attention than he's already getting. Very, very close to Ariana as you guys know, team Ariana, let's go team No Rules on Dancing with the Stars. She's doing so well, but this is the last thing we'll say about Tom. I have spoken to him one time in the last, you know, almost year, like since all the scandal went down and it was at Kyle Chan's party

that we talked about a few months ago and I wasn't rude but I wasn't kind. I gave Tom a piece of my mind. I told him exactly how I was feeling, told him the way that I think he should have handled things. I don't think he really cared what how I felt but I needed to get it off my chest. And that's that. And otherwise honestly, I don't know what he's doing. I don't really care. And that's where I stand. I spent enough years dealing with Tom Sanneval, and the

fact that I even have to talk about him on the Vanderpump Recaps. Like that's enough for me. That's fair. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. So that's where we at with that. OK, another question we got was, why are we doing more than one Vanderpump episode on our recaps? Well, I think, I mean, if you want a 15 to 20 minute recap per episode, we can do that.

It just, I think, you want a more full episode. And people typically binge when they rewatch. So doing a couple of times seems to make more sense. I guess, write us, email us, let us know if you agree or disagree, and we could adjust accordingly, but for now we're sticking with two at a time. Yeah, it just kind of feels like there's not enough to say about one episode. Well, maybe moving forward, there will be, but especially during season one, there just wasn't enough content to recap, I guess, is that's how we were feeling.

But yeah, if you guys feel otherwise, more than just these few people that have mentioned this to us on Ask Me Anything, please let us know. But that's essentially why. It's because we want to give you enough content, and especially for those who are binging or rewatching the old episodes of Anupunproules, it just feels like we're leaving you hanging on by only doing one. Yeah, and I really think, again, back to the binging thing, when you rewatch stuff,

who does it one night at a time? Like watch one episode a night? Maybe some people are out there. Don't think there's a whole lot. I think two works better versus, I guess, I don't know how people rewatch it. They sit and watch the whole season, which sounds exhausting to me.

You know, I guess we could try and cram it all together people rewatch it. They said and watch the whole season, which sounds exhausting to me. You know, I guess we could try and cram it all together, but we're gonna... I would go absolutely batshit loony tunes if I had to sit and watch one whole season of interpump rules. It was like when we had to film the reunions, I don't know if listeners if you guys know this out there, but when we have to film our reunions in seasons past, they're not all finished by the time we film the reunion. So they will slap us with like seven to ten episodes in like three days that we have to binge watch so we can talk about it. And that is sort of like the pearly gates of hell. Very, very horrific. It doesn't sound like a ton of fun. Yeah. And then going along with this is what part of season two am I dreading rewatching the most? Well, it's already started. What Rachel and I recapped when I start lying. And I think pretty much for the remainder of the season, I'm going to dread a lot of that, but it's what I signed up for. And I do actually like the fact that I can look back

and sort of talk shit about myself and talk about the changes that I've made and like look at things from a completely different lens, 10 years later. Like I said, I don't even see you as the same person. Yeah. I mean, you can tell it's a younger version of you, but I think you're an always improved,

I would say that. Yeah. It would be really, really fucked up if I weren't. That's hilarious. And am I ever mad at watching Ariana lie to me about Tom and season two? Nope, not at all. It was 10 years ago.

We're all just such evolved and grown people. Most of us, like 90% of us, not at all. It was just like a completely different life. So, no, I love Ariana de Pieces. I got it. And I got the next question. Would you ever consider doing a meet and greet or live podcast back in the Detroit area?

I'm gonna say. That's a hard hell, yeah. Definitely, yes. We are tentatively planning a podcast tour for 2024. So watch for that announcement. We will definitely be making our way around the Midwest since Kristen's from Detroit. I'm from Indy. And Midwest is the best. Midwest is the best. So I'm sure we'll hit LA, we'll probably hit Denver, maybe due to in Colorado.

Mm-hmm. A couple in Colorado, hit the Midwest. Yeah, it'll all be good. We have plans, guys. We definitely have plans. And I was lucky enough to do a podcast tour with Rachel O'Brien in 2020 before the pandemic hit and we did a stop in Detroit and it was the outcome was insane. Like I was mind blown, it was phenomenal, we had the best time, people that come to live podcasts and as I've seen with Stossi's live podcasts, I've been to hers before, I've been to Lawlaws before and the fans and the listeners, you guys are just next level awesome. So definitely that is on our to-do list.

Yeah, I can't wait. Never done anything like it. And so everyone knows if you don't remember, the first time Kristen and I ever technically met was at one of these live podcasts. Oh my God, that's right. Yeah. It was.

It was in Denver at Rachel's Podcast tour that I co-hosted with her. Was it the Oxford Hotel? The Oxford Hotel. The Oxford Hotel, yep. It was. It was in Denver. Rachel's podcast tour that I co-hosted with her. Was it the Oxford Hotel? The Oxford Hotel. The Oxford Hotel. Yep. Sure was. Never forget. Never forget. Hashtag never forgot. What I ever moved to Colorado when am I moving to Colorado? Well, I'm not moving to Colorado right now, or maybe ever, to be honest, but I like Colorado as a part-time destination for us to live because I plan on, of course, being with Luke forever in the day, but it will never be like my permanent place of residence. I think we're not sure where our permanent place of residence

will be yet. Here's the scoop. If you have one really wants to know, we are planning to have multiple places all the time because that's essentially how we started. And it's not like rich people talk, we're not rich people, it's not like, oh, we're planning on having vacation homes everywhere. No, it's just that.

Like two primary places. Yeah. Chris and I are both very independent, very much have our own life going in certain directions that we're pairing together. So we want something that's comfortable in multiple places where one of us, it's always going to be one person's more comfortable comfortable than the other. And if we can have multiple places, we can kind of balance it out. Because I kind of

really don't like LA most of the time. Correct. And I can't do Ranch Life 24-7. So we'll find a happy medium. We're both very aware of this. It's something we talked about, especially getting on the baby train and, you know, trying to have children and planning for a future together forever. With kids involved, we know that we had to discuss these things ahead of time. So we're on the same page, but we just don't have an answer quite yet. And we have a little bit of time to prepare for that, but our families are back in the Midwest,

so obviously a place somewhere in between Indiana and Michigan would be really helpful once we do have a family. Yes, I think that would be certainly be nice for the warmer months. Neither of us want to be there in the coldest months of the year. Right, and California is my home. So that's kind of it. I mean, we're almost like talking this out with our listeners right now, but we have

talked it out before. So we've basically just decided that that's what we need to say for that needs to be our goal, because that's what's going to make the most sense for the two of us and for our growing family in the future, to make us all happy as can be. One hundo on the same page. Are you ever out in the world going about your life when suddenly a sexy, impulsive thought pops into your mind? What if you snuck off somewhere to do it outdoors, where someone might catch you? Or in between the stacks of the library where you have to be quiet? With Dipsy, you can put on your headphones and do it anywhere.

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So question for me, do I call it Colorado Springs or the Springs? Oh yeah. So I typically refer to it. If I'm in Colorado, I call it the springs always. If I'm somewhere, I don't believe people will know what I mean by the springs. I will say Colorado springs. Okay, rock and roll. Next question. What do you mean in dollar amounts? When you say you made no money on Vanderpump rules in the start. So when was it? Is the other part of the question? Yeah, because I think you guys don't really get it. So I think we've talked about this before, but season one of Interprompour rules, we made $5,000. If we became a primary person, primary character, primary cast member, we were given another $5,000

at the end of the season. I think when it aired, so what I want you to remember is $10,000 does sound like a shit ton of money. When you think about it for one job, right? It can sound like a lot. When you think about, that's what you made for a whole year. And then, oh, we could still wait tables kind of, but we didn't really have time to like,

do these little side gigs and side jobs that we were doing. So that's what I mean when we all say, like we were so, so broke. Because all of those extra jobs we were doing like catering, modeling, acting, extra work. We no longer had the time to do because of the show. So it was really difficult. I think anywhere to be honest, but especially in LA to afford just your rent, your gas money and food to eat and your bills off of that alone. So we're not complaining. It's not like I'm saying we weren't grateful, but in the very beginning it was very difficult.

I've got a question for you. It's from Kelly Peters, 5452. If you could dye your hair a wild color, what would it be? Ooh, lava. I've tried purple before. I did that for reunion episode A, but it ended up turning kind of like a burgundy like eggplant color. I've had blue highlights. I think purple's my color like a lavender if I could do like lavender for like a hot

Minute or even like a white or a gray. Would you do like all of your hair or like I don't know like pieces. Yeah, like Streaks, is that what you're trying to say? He's like motioning with his hand. You look like you're milking a teeth. No, I don't mean. What about you, Luke? If you could dye your hair a wild color, what color would it be? Oh, man.

Don't say orange. No, I was gonna say Colts Blue. Oh, okay. Ooh, I'd go lions blue. Honolulu Blue. Honolulu Blue, those helmets were sick. I know. Yeah.

Okay. There was a question about football teams, so Kristen's diehard lions. I'm diehard colts. We both grew up with teams. If the lions go to the fucking Super Bowl this year, knock on wood, I will die my hair Honolulu blue. Temporarily.

Temporarily. But I will. I'll do it. I'm saying it now. Okay. Are we gonna try to go? Um, if the lines are in it, yeah. Okay.

Oh my god, are you kidding me? Hell yeah. Have I finally found what I've been looking for in a relationship? Sure have. When you're not looking for it, it pops up. I swear, it's true. It is, I guess. You were looking for it either, were you? Not at all. I was looking for like a bridesmaid to bang.

Exactly. I knew I was having fun that night. That's all I can say. I didn't know that I would be. Having fun for the rest of your life? Yeah, and splitting my time in California, I'm pleased. That is something I never thought would be part of my life. Oh, babe, it's so cute. Let's see. With me being a vegetarian and Luke being a hunter was that ever difficult for me. It was maybe like before we were dating. Like the first time we started talking after the wedding when we met last year and I looked at his Instagram

and I've I've mentioned this on the podcast before in many many moons ago, but I looked at his Instagram and it was nothing but like hunting and fishing and I just went, oh God, what am I gonna do? Like I almost would rather you not have an Instagram at that point, but it's so small to me now, especially because I understand more about it, the where you come from Luke, that it's not this like trophy hunting situation, like you shoot just a shoot, you kill just to kill something,

which is clearly where my brain was at. But then when you started explaining to me more about like the conservationist and you and why you love it so much. And, you know, I understand it is shooting still sport and bow hunting is still sport in a way, but you don't kill animals just for shits and giggles, you know. Not at all, that's why Kristen, she actually cringes at the Elk and deer

that's in her freezer in LA. I do. It's not my favorite thing, but I'm like, well, he didn't buy it from a store. It's organic. It is, but it's not as hard as I thought it would be. Have you ever dated a vegetarian look? No.

Huh. It's not hard for you, is it? No, it is not thanks when I'm eating. No, I don't think so. If you think I don't have to share my food usually. Which is okay. Too shame. Fair enough. I have dated girls that love to just eat off my plate.

You're like, let me try yours. And they like it. Oh, I like yours better. And they start eating it. I'm like, okay, that's why I ordered it. Yeah, I've never been that girl. I order what I want, when I want, I eat my own food. I'll share my own food, but no,

I'm too independent for that shit. Yeah, Andrew vegetarian. That too, that too. Yeah. I like this one. This is from Alana Alvarez. I'm sorry, we haven't been saying everyone's name. I'm very out of it, like I said, guys, apologies.

But she wants to know, tips on staying positive and moving forward when life gets difficult. It's a great question. Luke, do you want to do it? I like it too. I think it should be a question for both of us. Are you a pretty positive person? I, yeah, I try to be.

I think you just, try to keep things in perspective. You start looking too far forward or you're earning for the past. Don't focus on anything that you can't change and give gratitude. I think those are the two keys for me. I could not agree more. And you are very helpful in reminding me of that

because I have the tendency at times when I'm overwhelmed. I think I'm really good when I'm not overwhelmed. I think I can kind of snap myself out of it because I'm really good at snapping other people out of their funks. But when I am overwhelmed, I do tend to like, have this anticipatory anxiety of, oh God. Now this happened

therefore, ABCDEF and G are definitely gonna happen and everything's ruined and fuck me. And you also push people away when you get into those. It's really hard for me to break through sometimes to be like, it's gonna be alright, it's gonna be alright, I can't just be a broken record. Try to come up with different ways to say things. Sometimes, some things work, sometimes I don't. Sometimes you just need time for you to. And that's like the people, please earn me that I don't want other people to feel badly if just because I'm feeling badly. There's like a Maya Angelou quote, it's like just because I'm feeling pain, does it mean I have to be one? It's a quote

that I've hung on to, like since I was like a young twin-ager, but it's also something that I struggle with still at times, where I'm just down and out, I'm overwhelmed. I feel like I can't get out of the mud for a minute and it's just like the last thing I wanna do is make it miserable for everybody else, especially for you, and at times I have, but you do always remind me that like,

what exactly would you just say? Like if you can't do anything about it now If it's already happened. It's happened. So what do we do moving forward? Presently in this moment and to have gratitude exactly so on my calendar on my phone every single day at the top It says gratitude with little sparkles. I haven't heard you say I'm out loud yet Well, because I write them down. We should say I'm out loud Do you want me to say them out loud? Speak things into existence like it. Yeah, you're right. Okay. Note to self. When you first wake up and you're all groggy You can just have your written down gratitudes and grateful for the roof over my head for the love of my life for the beautiful sunshine

For food on my plate breathing in awesome fresh air the ability to split time between two places like that There's something to be very grateful for I think I think we've been very fortunate in life and to have this platform to have jobs to have split time between two places, like that's something to be very grateful for. So I think we've been very fortunate in life and to have this platform, to have jobs, to have people that want to hear us speak. And for all of you guys, I'm very, very grateful. And for all of your opinions and I'm for all of your questions, because you know, this is a two way street. I'm grateful for beer.

I'm grateful for the hot tea I'm drinking right now. That was a great question though. How do we navigate long distance? Is jealousy ever an issue? You know what? Absolutely not. I would say one time in our entire relationship have I been kind of a dick with a little jealous bond.

It was this time last year. It was this time last year. Exactly. Yeah. this time last year. It was this time last year, exactly, yeah, about a year ago. So I'll say for me, it has hit me at times, and it's more of, I get frustrated, not with Kristen getting, she should get very social at times, and there's no time made for me, even when it's said that there's gonna be time,

like we're gonna talk, and then we don't. And so then that gets frustrating. I guess it's not jealousy, like I think she's out cheating on me, but it's like a there's gonna be time, like we're gonna talk and then we don't. And so then that gets frustrating. I guess it's not jealousy. Like I think she's out cheating on me, but it's like a, I don't know, just a little more of a load. But you first.

A lonely jealousy type thing. Like I just want you to follow through with our time is hard enough, not seeing you for a couple of weeks. Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. I definitely did that. It was after our road trip,

I think was the only time we've really had that much of an issue, which was not that long ago. Because I felt like we were together on this road trip for three weeks, the only time we really had that much of an issue, which was not that long ago. Because I felt like we were together on this road trip for three weeks, and I hadn't been home in LA, I hadn't seen any of my friends really, you know, worked hands-on with anything, so I was just really, what is the term, nose to the something? Oh, balls to the wall. Sure balls to the wall.

Isn't it like, nose to the grindstone? I don't know what it is. You guys ignore me. But yeah, during that time I was just very much, I missed my friends, I wanted to hang out with my girls, I had a sleepover at my friend Janine's for a couple of nights with the dogs, and I wasn't being very attentive to my phone, which when I put myself in your place, Luke, then I understand because if I were trying to get ahold of you, and I suddenly didn't feel as important, I would be upset too. So we learned our lesson there, didn't we bud? Another question, what's our meet cue? I think everyone knows how we met, but

the real question, how did you know we were the ones for each other, and I want to know when it actually hit you, honestly. I think it hit me before I admitted that it did, and I was very afraid of jumping. I fall very quickly. I know that. I get very excited. I love being in love. I just love romance, like I love all of that. And you were like totally next level because you were things that I didn't know that I wanted for sure. But it was your age that made me nervous, even though you're a maturity level and your intelligence and all of that was far beyond your years. Or what I would assume a 32 year old is like anyway.

Too much L.A. Kristin. Well, almost 40. I know, sure of it. That's what you're exposed to. Yeah, fair enough. But when did I know you were like the one? Yeah, that's the question. Okay. I mean, I don't know if I can think of an exact moment in time,

but I would say right around this time last year. When you got jealous. When I got jealous. And when you left your fun party and drove all the way to LA to come be with me. And that's when I was still not calling you my boyfriend and all of my friends were like, oh, you're Luke, you're not what your non-boyfriend who's actually your boyfriend, short-crested, like Brittany and Zach and everybody. Well, this is Shina.

I believe today is the anniversary of when I came out and told you I'm not leaving until we launched this podcast. It is. It was stayed for a month. It was October 31st and last year I got there and I said I'm not leaving until we released this thing. And I said, we're not going to love our first product, but we have to get it out there. We have to get it going, and we'll get better.

That's it. Because I'm such a perfectionist, and I was absolutely terrified of coming out with something after what happened in 2020, and finally, working on James May again, which is coming really soon, you guys. I had just filmed the goat, but like, didn't, oh no, I hadn't shot the goat yet.

That's how it was made. You're right. I hadn't really done anything at that point. No, neither of us had a lot, I had much going on at that point. Yeah, and I think I was just really nervous about releasing the podcast because if it wasn't perfect, it wasn't gonna be good enough.

And you convinced me that we just have to start somewhere. Yeah, and we did. Here we are, and thank you everyone for listening. Yeah, we love you guys. Thanks for all the questions as well. And there was a question about quitting smoking, and then there's a question about vaping. So I will say quitting smoking was something that I made a plan for in my own mind. I did not share with many people at all. I think maybe one or two people when I decided to do that. And it was my 39th birthday.

I decided to quit the night of my party. I said, whatever, you know, because there was a lot of partying and there were a lot of people and I knew I'd be around a lot of smokers and drinking and all these things that I knew it would be a little difficult for me. So I decided that that night, you know, when this pack of cigarettes, it's so weird to even think about smoking, no, that it's been almost two years, but I said, when this is done, I'm done. And I stuck to that. I have not had a cigarette since, but I did start vaping immediately because I wasn't quite ready or prepared. And then went through a really shitty breakup and, you know, it was a tough

time in life. And I started vaping. And then, yeah, we talked about it on the podcast last week. I said, no more vaping. Cutting it out. It is not easy. If Kristen still smoked when we started dating, or before we started dating, when we met at the wedding, I would have been a hard out for me.

So you want to tell them what my vaping substituted is right now. Oh geez. Kristen loves these boost oxygen cans. The little three-liter ones are the pocket-sized oxygen. So if I feel like I need to vape, I just suck in oxygen, and they have flavored ones. So yesterday I had a pink grapefruit,

and honestly, it's like, I don't need to do it all day long. I just do it once if I'm really like itching for that vape because I really think more now than ever, it's not necessarily nicotine dependency as it is a fidget thing. It's just kind of something I did. Well, I think it's also the altitude you're not used to it so it helps that too. Yeah, the oxygen. Anytime you're getting anxious, we need to keep those around because if you're getting anxious or you know getting into this negative spiral and things are not going right, I think if you

took a couple rips of oxygen, you'd be good. Totally. Well, I just ordered like a shitton of them off of their website. So boost oxygen, you're what's up. I've watched you in Shark Tank. I've been using it ever since. So that's what I did. It's not easy for everyone. It definitely, I don't know. It's just not easy. I wish I had quit a lot younger than I did, but I've just put wanting to have a child in the forefront of my brain, and now that I'm with someone that I truly want to have a forever and a family with, there's nothing more important to me than that. So I think that's also very helpful.

So I think if it's not having a baby, if whatever it is, if you can find something, if you have kids, if you have a family, and you have kids, if you have a family, and you can say, I need to put that, like always think of them, or find someone or something that is really crucially important to you. And you can say, well, for that person, or for this thing, I'm gonna make that more important.

I don't know, it's what helped me. So that's my best advice. So babe, I know the answer to this, but we gotta address it. Okay. Since, you know, your dogs aren't here with you this trip, but are your dogs dressing up for Halloween? It's a question.

I don't know if they are, because they're with their trainer Kirsten right now. But in years past, I have dressed Gibson up as like everything under the sun, but it's tough to keep like hats on him or anything. So we started doing more just like t-shirts and stuff the last couple of years, but I hope their dress up is something.

I don't know, Gibson loves all the attention. So he's down to wear anything. We didn't even take a, we're the worst. We didn't even take a picture of our costumes of a weekend. I was like a little Woodland fairy, nymph elf type thing, like a Renaissance fairy, because I had these really cool silicone ears

that my mom and sister had made for me at the Renaissance festival, and Luke somehow has this weird Elven fetish, all of a sudden, I don't have an Elven fetish. Okay, fine. Well, I mean, you haven't come through on seeing if I do. No, but I went to bed and you were partying with your friends and I wanted to take the damn ears off.

You took the ears off way before you went to the door. I did. And I was like, okay, I guess I'm not going to bed right now. And Luke, we're a very security outfit, but you didn't even take one photo. I took photos. Well. But I hope my dogs were.

I guess everyone would think that I'm the psycho who has 14 outfits for my dogs, but I hope my dogs were. I, you would think, I guess everyone would think that like I'm like the psycho who has like 14 outfits for my dogs, but I don't know. I dress them up all the time, whether it's Halloween or not. November plans, babe. That's the next question. Oh boy. I've said this a bunch of times to Luke

and I wanna know how you guys feel. I feel like October was the slowest, effing month of like maybe my life. Every day felt like a week and every week felt like a month. I don't know why I feel like it's been October for like four months already. I don't feel that way. You don't? Okay, it's just me. November. Well, we will be coming out with the relaunch of James May and it will be I believe the week before Black Friday. We are stuck on waiting on some samples coming in. So

we've had to push it back. It's just the loveliness of having a clothing company. But you guys are going to be so stoked. I'm so excited. And it's everything that I've ever wanted and more. It's exactly why I started James May to begin with. So please stay tuned. We'll definitely have something out before Black Friday.

And we will be delivering for Christmas. They're awesome shirts. They're so comfortable. I gotta say, not just popping Christmas up because there are certain there are some designs that I wouldn't wear as a man. But there are plenty of unisex and some things that really do like wearing.

I mean, they feel great and some are pretty funny and pretty cool shirts, so. Yeah, I'm really stoked. And we're definitely, we're gonna have like, some accessories coming out of we're gonna be doing smaller drops, we're gonna have like, some accessories coming out, of we're gonna be doing smaller drops, we're gonna have hoodies, some pullover sweatshirts, we're working on some fanny packs guys. And my new partner and I are also talking about infant

and possibly newborn, but like infant and toddler tees in the upcoming future. So we have a ton of plans. The plans are all working out perfectly, except sometimes you gotta wait for stuff to come in from another country. So that's where ton of plans. The plans are all working out perfectly except sometimes You've got to wait for stuff to come in from another country So that's where we're at but just stay tuned to my social media and our podcast and I'll keep letting you know about that What else about November babe?

We're gonna be in California for Thanksgiving. You're not gonna go home, right? Or are you? No, I'm not going home But I mean I I mean Thanksgiving such a second rate holiday to holiday to me. I don't know. It's just like, so it will be a California. It's like, am I traveling for Groundhogs Day? It's, of course, my guess is how I feel about it. I don't make special plans for Thanksgiving much anymore, you know. Wherever I am, somebody I have a friend's giving or something going on, I'll go hang out, eat a bunch of food.

But that's, and pretty much it. Yeah, I think we've, I've been to Jackson, Brittany's pretty much every year. As long as they've lived in their house, I think I've been at Jackson, Brittany's, or maybe even when they had an apartment, because Brittany loves hosting. Right. And they typically are in town for Thanksgiving

because they usually go out of town for Christmas. So I'm assuming that's where we'll be, but we'll definitely be spending all of New-Bemburn, California. We will. Will you not be? I don't know if I can do the whole month, baby. Oh, fair. Well, most of November.

We're leaving on like the second. Yeah, well, most of November. I don't know. That's why I said. We're going to spend November working really hard, having a lot of fun, relaxing, but I think mostly working. Mostly working. That's why I need to get back out here for a week in November, most likely'm most likely to build the house.

Yeah, to, yeah, do fix or finish the addition that I started and then got set back because I was building a movie set for a week. So this is for me, but it's what's the one thing I miss most about fallen Michigan. What's the one thing you miss most about falling in the Midwest? It's going to be the leaves changing color. I know it's so like basic pumpkin spice latte, sweaters, and fucking leggings with knee high boots, like type of an answer, but I really do miss just like the weather and the smells of the weather.

I mean bonfires are awesome. For me, it's always like the kickoff when I forget that first cool breeze really coming through in the fall, being a hunter and growing up doing that sort of thing. I always get that feeling like, oh, it's almost hunting season over a tier. And so that's what's like, what is always excited me in life, especially about the Midwest, because I could go out the back door in my dad's house,

walk to my stand, or, you know, everything was just seemed to be more accessible and easy as far as hunting and fishing goes. You know what I like about fall in California? Is that I still get to dress in fall, like I get fall fashion, but I don't have to deal with like the freezing cold weather. Like I don't have to wear a giant parka over my cute fall outfit. That's fair. I just wish LA, and I know this will never happen, but I had bigger lots. So like the backyard bonfire feel you could get,

like when I'm in Indie, my brother's ethans place is in Marissa, I have like a third of an acre and in their backyard, they have this big, awesome fence in backyard, they've got a bonfire area. Yeah, LA is tough because, well, the Santa Ana wins. You know, really a lot of bonfires. You gotta be really, you just have to be careful. Right.

Starting for fires. And your like, 5,000 square foot lots make it difficult. Millions of dollars later. Yeah, exactly. Destination wedding someday soon. It's possible. I know. We talk about all sorts of things.

I don't know. It's like we're on the same page about everything, but we don't know. We don't have a definitive answer. Well, I think it's pretty much either a destination wedding that's small and just like close family and closest friends or. Or we alone and have like a honey moon and then have a party later.

Or that, yeah. Because you don't want to do the big. I don't want a big wedding. It's so much money and so much time and so much stress for one day. And all I want it to be is relaxing and fun. The last thing I want is for it to cost my guests money and I don't want it to cost us money, like unnecessary money. Just for a party. It's why destination weddings the best because people can

stay as long as they want. It's their vacation. They come, see us get married, they can stay as long as they want. They're on a resort. I just always feel like some people, I don't know. I don't like gilting people into having to do that either, though. Like they really want to be there, but they don't have the funds for that. Well, flying a couple of family members out that don't have the money is going to be cheaper than throwing a pig wedding. Too shay. That's super fair.

I think that's a trade-off. Yeah. Plus with the big wedding, the main reason I don't want to do it is because at some point you're gonna hurt someone's feelings. You can't invite everyone. Like get invited to all these weddings. You got extended family, you've got friends, old friends, maybe you don't talk to, you don't talk to ones every few years,

but they might be hurt to not get an invite, especially if you have a big shindig. So having a destination wedding just makes it easy, close family, not much of a wedding party. Yeah. Closest, longest standing friends, and that's that. Yeah, I like that. Like I said, I feel like we don't have an answer, but we're just like, whatever you say, I'm always like, okay, yeah, like I take all of that into consideration, because

I'm no longer hell-bent the way that I was in my 20s with my Pinterest board and my perfect dress and my perfect bride's meet and my perfect flowers. I'm like, whatever. It's about the marriage, not the wedding. I want to have a fun day where we can all celebrate together, but we'll have lots of fun days to celebrate for the rest of our lives. Exactly. And the one thing we have to spend the money on is a photographer because we are so bad at that.

We are the worst. It's almost sad. Yeah. Okay. Just a couple more questions. Are we going to BravoCon? We are not going to BravoCon. You might have heard some rumors about a new television show that has not been announced

and if it hasn't been announced, then it will not be announced at BravoCon. So that's the best way I can word it for you. We have no reason to go to BravoCon. That's why at this particular moment in time, I just want to go to Vegas, see the sphere. That's true. We do really want to go see the sphere. Luke, I have a question for you. Okay.

Because I feel like this is a more you question than it is a me question. Tips on being confident while being confident and dating. Oh, so basically when you're dating, what are your tips on making sure you stay confident and not getting in your head about things? So you don't build everything. Don't build anything up. Just go, it's more about being yourself.

When you have, you put these expectations on yourself and have these standards you're trying to reach, it makes it a lot harder. Like make it easier on yourself. Go on your dates, be yourself, and know that every single person isn't for you and it's not up to you to make that happen. Oh, that's a great fucking answer.

Yes, I mean, it sounds so simple, but the way you just were to, and just I'm looking at you saying it with such conviction, be yourself because why would you want to be anyone else? Why would you want someone to fall for a nonversion of you? Right, I didn't act like I don't hunt and fish, knowing Kristen was a vegetarian, pursuing her.

Don't you wanna find the person who's actually for you? There's no point in pretending. And we've kind of talked about this on other podcasts before, like how much is too much to disclose on a first date or like how many dates do you really talk about baggage or whatever, and it's not about that because there is time. I think you don't need to go into a first date

with your whole fucking life story and everything positive and negative that's ever happened to you because leave a little mystery, leave things so you have time across a certain period of time to be able to talk about and learn about each other. But yeah, if you're going into any dating app or whatever it is pretending at all to be

who someone that you're not or pretending to like what the person likes, that's shit I used to do in my 20s. Also with dating apps, don't cast a wide net. If you say general stuff, you you're gonna get passed on so quickly Like what do you mean? I don't know I guess I I should have examples, but I don't at the moment, but don't cast a super white net try it like I like movies I like movies. They were like I like action movies in Chinese food. I don't know it still seems kind of yeah

It is really generic kind of generic be let your personality come out a little bit more as far as the being confident thing something seems kind of. Yeah, it is really generic. Kind of generic. Let your personality come out a little bit more. As far as the being confident thing, something that I would do not necessarily dating, but if I was going out or going to a party, let's just say a social situation that I was single and thought an opportunity to meet a girl. Typically, if it's a large setting, I would go up to the girl I found most attractive, first, right away, and get it out of the way because if I get shut down then I'm not worried about it anymore. Oh, okay, I like it. The more you think about it, the harder it's going to be.

So just go do it. I think that's like the meaning going to. Yeah. Just be you, you're worth it. Exactly. You're absolutely worth it and there is someone out there for everyone. I totally believe that.

Good job, babe. Thanks. You're a great vice-skiver. Should I go to therapy school? We've been talking about this. I totally believe that. Good job, babe. Thanks. You're a great advice, Skimmer. Should I go to therapy school? We've been talking about this. No, Luke has been considering like, should I go to therapy school? He's like, should I be a therapist?

Should I go back to school? Your horoscope the other day said something about going back to school, but I didn't tell you because it was the same day you were talking about student loans. Oh, yeah. Like when do student loans go away? I have friends in their 40s who talk about student loans

and I'm just glad that I don't have any. Oh, well this has been fun. You're cute and fun and I feel like I'm feeling a little bit better maybe because I'm sitting still. But we love you guys so much. Thank you for all the questions. We hope you loved our answers because we're just being honest with you.

And that is my answer to the person who said that I am always very phony. I'm not just being honest. Yeah, I don't know what's phony. If they're talking about filters, if that's what they're talking about, it's very... Oh, that's fair. I totally use filters sometimes because I haven't had a spray tan and I don't wear makeup most of the time, so...

So if it's about filters, then it's fair. If it's about like her personality and who Kristen is, that's not the case. Think a bit. Yeah. Awesome. Okay, guys, well, we have another episode of VPR from Start Recap coming up and we will talk to you next week on Sex Love and What else matters.

Thanks for listening to everyone. Bye. Make sure to follow us on social media. You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Dodie and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke Double underscore Broadway. Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with new episodes every single Wednesday. Thanks for listening. See you next week.