Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - The #Scandoval with S.E. Cupp

Episode Date: March 10, 2023

Episode 16. Author, political commentator, and Bravo super fan S.E. Cupp joins Kristen & Luke this week to talk about the #Scandoval that has rocked our worlds. Kristen lays down the actual truth of how Ariana found out about Tom’s affair and how she’s been doing in the days that have followed. They are #TeamAriana (as we all are). Also, get to know S.E. on a personal level as she discusses balancing her work/home life, and gives us her advice on what keeps her marriage alive and thriving!  Follow us: @kristendoute @luke__broderick Email us: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh boy guys, this one's gonna be a doozy. Welcome back to sex love and what else matters. Hi Luke. Hey Kristen. Oh my god, I'm so excited about this guest. I teased you guys a little bit on Instagram, but we have like my Bravo Bestie, self-proclaimed Bravo Superfan, and of course, political commentator and author. Sarah Elizabeth S.E. Cup. Hey! Hello, my love. I mean, I love talking to you.

I'm glad I'm happy to see you. I can't believe the story that has brought us together today. Yeah. I'm still taking it all in. I mean, I don't know of all the bravo like bomb shells. This is up there, man. This is up there. I feel like a Vanderpump rules bomb shells.

This takes the cake for me. I think this overshadows... Safe and jacks. Or were you gonna say that jacks? I was, yeah. Yeah. I think it does because this is a 10 year relationship that like, at least from a viewer, seemed steady man.

As their friend, I was completely shocked. So if any of you listening have literally been living under a rock, whether you watch Bravo, you like Vanderpump or not, we are talking about Tom Sanneval and Ariana Maddox been together for 10 years, literally about 10 years since Tom and I broke up and bought a house together. Essentially, they are married. They are in a life partnership. And the bombshell

dropped that Tom Santa Ball has been having a seven-month affair with Rachel Levis or Kelle. Now I find out she's fraudulent to the core because her name's Rachel. And I just feel like every time I blink my eye, something else is coming out. There's just more and more and more. Like, there's rumors about him with other girls on the side as well. And like, Luke and I were talking about this, not that any sort of infidelity is okay. But it's like, if it was like, okay, you know, they were all messed up and drunk or whatever they were on. And she tried to kiss Tom and then they had a kiss or like some stupid mistake was made

and then he came and told Ariana about it. Like that's one thing. Yeah. Because Luke and I have talked about that. Like, what could you get over God forbid, you know? Yeah, you got to own it right out the gate to have a chance to get over it in my opinion. Yeah. I don't know.

It's a tough thing. But instead, it's like, he didn't tell Ariana instead what happened was right after what happens live on Wednesday night, when she and Raquel were on, I was actually with Ariana and Tom that night. So it was Luke. Okay. We were watching the band play at TomTom.

And this is the night. you're talking about the night that she found out. The night she found out. Okay, I'm shaking. Okay. He's done playing and we had all gotten up to just kind of chatter and grab a drink. And all of a sudden I realized Arion has gone for like,

it had to be like 20 minutes or something because she left her coat in her purse on the chair. And there's a lot of fans around and I'm just like, I don't feel good about this. So I'm like carrying her stuff around, looking for her, can't find her. I find one of her besties and I just said, hey, do you know where she is?

I have already on a stuff. He's like, no, I can't find her either. So he's like, I'll take it. I'll put it with the band stuff. K great. Luke and I are going to take off. So what had happened, which I think a lot of people read, I'm sure you read, was that during Tom's performance, his

phone, like Fallout was pocket or something. And somebody a mutual friend of theirs picks up the phone, hands it to Ariana. So now I will tell you exactly what the truth is, because I've read a lot of bullshits. Okay. Yeah, a lot of a lot of bullshit. Okay. So the real truth is that Ariana did get, she had his phone and she told me that she just had this gut intuition to look at it. They are like, trust, they are trusting couples.

She's not like me, you know, going through old boyfriend's phones. I don't go through your phone, but you know, old Kristen. And she just felt like she had to look. So she went into his photos. He had screen recorded a FaceTime of he and Raquel masturbating. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

No. Yeah. Yeah, now it's out there. That's the truth. I'm like nauseous. I can't even imagine being Ariana and trusting him is my- I'm like uncomfortably smiling right now because I'm just so, I'm still like trying to process it.

It's unbelievable and like, I can't imagine how she's feeling. Like I vicariously feel sick to my stomach for her in that moment. But also all these other things are like flooding back, right? Like floored at a girl, like all the stuff. Miami girl. Yeah. I mean, I, because you're my friend, I wouldn't know how you're feeling too, right? Because anyone who knows how Tom and Ariana started, we know like you're a part of this

story. And you tried to tell her for a long time that like he's not, he's not the loyal guy you maybe think he is. And then I feel like at some point we all just got over it and we accepted their couple and they were a great couple and they are into it. And maybe this was like, they're the loves of each other's lives. And so it's going to maybe he's changed or whatever. And it seems to be working out. But now all this stuff is flooding back from the years past, where you and others, you know, Jack's included,

were like, look, he's as big of a liar as the rest of us. Yeah, and then do you remember SE, like I think they talked about it last season, maybe. I didn't, so I haven't watched Vanderpump in years, like I've seen little bits and pieces, but I have. So go ahead, ask me. Okay, so there was, I don't, I think they talked about this on the show, but I know in real life we talked about it.

So there were rumors going around about Tom Schwartz and Raquel supposedly making out at Coachella, but everyone said, well, Tom Schwartz wasn't there, right? So this, what are these dumb rumors? Come to find out, allegedly, this is on the internet, allegedly from one of Rikkel's good friends, it was Tom Sandevol and Rikkel making out at Coachella. And whoever saw them got it confused and spread the Schwartz rumor instead of the Sandevol rumor. You're telling me. And now this is now almost a year ago. Right, so almost a year ago, he made out with Raquel in front of just random people at Coachella,

brazenly. Yeah, like in a petty cab or whatever those things are called, there was like a Reddit thread supposedly from one of Raquel's good friends saying that that was the case. I, I mean Tom joked about it at his show, saying like, you know, have you ever been the most hated man in America? I, how does he, how do he end Raquel?

How do they stay in this friend group? I mean, how do they keep the life together that they once had? Is that, isn't that over? I mean, in my opinion, it's very much over. Right now, the only person that Sandevol has shorts and shorts isn't happy about this either. I mean, it's pouring down on their businesses.

Right. Like, he, and then I guess shorts had only found out about a month ago. Sandevol told him and shorts and I were texting yesterday and he said that he told him he needed to tell Ariana before it blew up in his face and humiliated the hell out of her. Too late.

Yeah, too little too late. I mean, it is humiliating and most humiliating because it was going on for so long. And here's Ariana on camera, you know, looking happy. And that's just so, that's so humiliating. Yeah. And now it's just so wild. I think it's so Luke and I have both been over Ariana's the last couple of days.

How is she doing really? The troops are, I mean, she's not doing well. I think she's numb and she's sad and she's still, like, she doesn't want to hear anything about anything anymore. That's one thing she did tell us yesterday, is that she's like, what does it matter? Like, I don't want to hear anything anymore. That's one thing she did tell us yesterday, is that she's like, what does it matter? Like, I don't want to hear anymore rumors. I don't want to, you know, she's deleted her social media

for right now. We were telling her some things that were coming up in yesterday, she just went like, what does it matter? I just don't need to know anymore. It's just gonna make me feel worse. Because they're done and she knows that. And so what's the point of all, oh, you mean I was living even a bigger life than I knew, you know? You know, I get her, I knows that. And so what's the point of all, oh, you mean I was living even a bigger life than I knew?

You know, I get her, I get that. And for me, I don't know if there is a worst part, but one of the worst parts is that he wasn't even a polygenic. What do you mean? And that actually shocked me because he was blaming her, gaslighting her like, you know, we haven't been happy. And you know, you weren't supportive of my endeavors.

Like, listen, I'm gonna go there, listen, motherfucker. She's the only support that you have had. We've all laughed at you for many years, even though I love Tom. Like, I care about him. I've always just said, like, I worship the ground Ariana Wok, son, how she can put up with that shit.

Yeah. I am just happy I don't have to. Like she did me a favor. Yeah, yeah. Well, so walk me through. You find out, she finds out, when does she confront him? And this happened where he didn't apologize and he started gaslighting her. Yeah, so they left the show, I guess, pretty quickly.

Got in a car, gone. But before that happened, or I don't know if this was before after which one happened first, but she then called Raquel. And Raquel and Shina were together at some bar after watch what happens live. And a lot of this is on the internet, but the truth of what happened was Raquel was kind of just so, I'm gonna say it, she's just fucking dumb, okay?

And she's like walking around all Rikkel like, and she knows, like, who are you on the phone with, what's going on? And she, too casually, says, I'm talking to Ariana, Sanvol and I, how does 7 Month Affair? You're telling this to Ariana's best friend. There's no good ending to this for Runtom and Raquel. No, and Raquel's saying she's like, they're in love, and they're gonna be together.

Okay, that's the other wild part. Like the part one, part one, they were having an affair, that's wild. The part two that's wild is that they're like together, that this is like now a relationship? Yeah, I don't know on his behalf, like what he's thinking. I've barely talked to him.

I don't know like if he's actually saying those same things, not that I don't even know if it matters, it doesn't matter, I don't even know. But I know that that's what she is saying, like that they're like in love and they have matching necklaces. And it's just, it's wild now because I feel like, maybe I will watch the season of Ander Pumples.

Maybe I will start on an episode one now and watch it through completely different lens. Yeah. Then I would have. It's like, I compare it to like, you know, the movie Shutter Island with Leo DiCaprio. And so if you watch Shutter Island, you think one thing. And then you watch it.

If you were to watch it a second time through the lens of what you know, you're going to see something very different. That is how I feel about this situation. I watch a lot of, I rewatch a lot of Bravo for exactly that. Like, you know, whether it's Real Housewives of New York and I'm watching early New York and I'm thinking, man, Luan doesn't know what's coming, what's ahead, right? In her life and it's just a wild

to re-watch knowing much more. And so, yeah, I might start the season over too. We're only a couple episodes in, but I might start the season over too and see what it'll look a lot different, I bet. Yeah, I think so. Just literally knowing what we know. Luke, what are your thoughts about any of this?

Because I know you don't know the Bravo world, but you do know Ariana, you know Tom Isch. You've been around for it. It's a little surface. I haven't had many conversations with him, but just to me it blows my mind how anybody can keep something like that going. Like how they can convince themselves that things are okay.

Like that what they're doing is not going to make their whole world blow up. He couldn't probably still hasn't wrapped his whole head around everything. That's coming. No, because he's living in Tomworld. I mean, it's not just you break up. You're in the public eye, like he said.

He's the most hated man in America at the moment. Yeah. It's, I don't think he saw that coming. He just went on and played a show the other night and it, well, I don't know. What do you, this, there has to be some level of either delusion or arrogance when you're living a lie like that for so long to know.

I think this is really, as Luke just said, like this is gonna blow up my life at some point. How do you not like anticipate that and mitigate against it and try to limit the collateral damage? I mean, none of that happened. None of that happened. Instead, you just let it blow up. And I'll say as someone who was previously

one of the most hated people in the Bravo universe, for sure. I've always loved you, but go ahead. I love you too. But let me backtrack for a minute. Let me tell you the thing that broke my heart almost the most was the day when I went over Ariana's Friday, two days after I went over her house

and she had just done, she was just done filming interview bites for the show because they have obviously now picked up cameras again, they're recording everything that's going on. And I walked in, she hugged me, we both started crying, she said thank you. And then she said to me, oh God, I'm going to cry. She goes, I'm so sorry. I was like, are you out of your damn mind? Oh my God, I have chills. This is not the same thing. Tom and I, for the record,

everybody, we should have broken up after year two. We stayed together for three, almost four more years. We cheated on each other, we were a very toxic, we were broke, we were young, we just, we were idiots. They have been in a decade-long partnership. As adults, essentially a marriage without certificate. They brought a house together. Like how crazy, like, just, yeah.

Like that's a commitment, that's a true commitment. And for her to apologize to me, I can't believe that. Because she didn't listen to me or because of the way that their relationship started, like no. And that was why I took to social media almost immediately when I heard about it it because I was so tired

of everyone saying, oh my God, this is Ariana's karma. And the way you got him is the way you lose him and is like, what the fuck is wrong with you people? Like this is a human being who is in so much pain. Yeah. A human being who is not a confrontational person, someone who, she's a bite or not a barker. Yeah, like Ariana doesn't talk shit,

she doesn't run her mouth, she stays quiet until she's gonna strike. And there's no karma about any of this, except what's coming to Santa Valla and her hell at the end of all of it. Not to mention, I mean, this is why you're such a good friend, because you like see above all of that. But I mean, this is a reality show such a good friend too, because you like see above all of that. But I mean, this is a reality show except it's also people's lives.

And this shit's real. I mean, you know, Gen Shog going to prison, Trees going to prison, this 10-year relationship ending, that's real. That's real stuff that I know you all have to live with when the cameras are off. And so who cares about the karma storyline? This really is devastating. And I can't believe she said that to you. I mean, yeah. Of course, I'm sure she's thinking back to all the things, right? All the things that she's heard. And how could you not like have it all kind of come flooding back as you're trying to figure out how the hell this all just happened.

Yeah, how to make sense of any of it. You can't make sense of any of it. What are other people? What are your other friends saying? I mean, the last couple of days, all of the girls for the most part have been over at her house. And if they haven't been in their house, everyone's reached out to her, you know, at some point. And all I know is,

Sandeball only has shorts, and even shorts is mad at him right now. He loves him, like that's his best friend. You don't drop your best friend when shit goes down, but this is gonna have a really damaging effect on Tom Schwartz as well. Yeah, and their business, right? And their business, yeah.

I think Sandeball's got enough coming to him, whatever karma and everything else, he's done this to himself. I don't think, you know, teaming up with Ariana is one thing to be on our side. It's another thing to continue to attack him. I mean, I'm not trying to protect him. Sorry, we got to do literally what we talked about yesterday. It's like, we just have to all sit back.

His world is going to blow up on itself. Yeah, don't go damaging their stuff. Don't go like attacking him in other ways. Like, he's got it bad enough right now. Like, he did it to himself. I just think, I don't go damaging their stuff. Don't go attacking him in other ways. Like, he's got it bad enough right now. Like, he did it to himself. I just think, I don't know, public eyes. They said there's been like a hundred of you help reviews, one stars on those businesses and stuff.

You're affecting staff, you're affecting a bunch of other people. You're not just hurting him and people are attacking the business. You know, attacking different things. And like, he doesn't need that extra weight. Like, I said, I'm not here to get a benefit. He already on it doesn't need that extra. He's got said, I'm not here to get a benefit. But like, she's got enough shit. She's fucked up enough for herself, you know?

She doesn't need to be hearing about that because she's a really good person who is going to understand that this does affect the livelihood of other people. Like she feels that in her soul. So it's like, I guess what I want to say yet to the public is like, don't do it for him, but do it for her.

Right, right. You know, just let them figure this out. let this blow up as it's going to. It's going to. It's going to. Right, right. They don't need our help. Just start it. I think that's right.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Have you talked to Jacks? Have you heard from Jacks? No, I'm blocked by Jacks. Oh, okay. Okay, I think everyone is. Does he actually have any followers or are blocked? I don't know. I mean, I. Okay, I think everyone is. Does he actually have any followers or aren't blocked? I don't know.

I mean, I'm blocked on the phone and everything. Like, Jack's and I got into a fight again. I can't remember what this fight was about. I don't know. I didn't say anything to him and I'm blocked. You know, but yeah, but I've talked to Brittany. I saw Katie, talked to Schwartz, Sheena, of course. You know, I've been there with her.

Yeah. She's been over our own as in. Is Raquel still working? I mean, we've seen her on this season. She's still working at Sur, right? I don't know if she really works there or not. Okay. I don't go to Sur anymore.

Like, I kind of stay away from Vanderpump row over there in Robertson, West Hollywood. Yeah. I'm just wondering what Lisa's gonna say. Yeah, so I saw something online that Lisa said she would be commenting on what happens live. So I'm assuming she'll be coming on sooner than later. She tweeted or commented on Instagram like, you'll know my thoughts soon, hashtag www.l.

Okay. Wow. So I'm curious what she'll have to say about it, but I can assume it's just, my brain is just so overwhelmed by this. And I just feel like that boat has been rocked so hard and I really do think there's gonna be a lot more coming out. What, like fallout of, or like rumors, other stories?

Rumors about him and other people. I've heard a couple of things already. I don't necessarily want to share publicly yet just to just in support of Ariana, yes, until I know for sure. Yeah, but I'm pretty damn sure at least two of them are very very true. I mean, it's rarely the case that there's one transgression, right? If you can make the leap to do this and he did it pretty brazenly and he did it for a long time, you're probably pretty good at it and you've probably done it more than once, right? I mean that's just usually how it goes. And I'll tell you for my experience it's all feeling far too familiar, especially the way he's been gaslighting. The wild part, you know, another wild part

of this, right? Is like anyone who's been watching as long as I have, there are so many familiar parts of this. Feelings, yeah. I mean, it's all, it's deja vu. There's smoke and fire. It's crazy. And that's why like my heart goes out to Ariana, but I'm also just like thinking of you too.

I mean, you're a human being going through this too. And I know how disorienting that can all feel. I mean, it's just a lot. It's a lot for all of you, I feel like. I think in the strangest thing is so actually, and I was at her house yesterday, there were a lot of us over there last night, making dinner and cleaning up the house

and just giving her love and playing music and just trying to be healthy distractions. And he came home and just walked right in and we had just, we were literally just talking about like we need a mediator who's going to be the person that can communicate to him like, yo dude, you can't just walk in your house at any time on an announce you need to allow her this time to grieve to heal and you need to give a heads up. She doesn't want to see you right now. And the more you keep doing this, it's like the harder it is on her.

So he walked in and we all just sort of sat there like really quietly. And he was like, yeah, I know everyone hates me, blah, blah, blah. And strangely enough, I feel like I volunteered myself as tribute, I'm like, I'm gonna go upstairs and I'm gonna make sure that he's not staying. Because of everybody in our group, like, I'm the only one, I feel like

the control might anger. It's like I'm so numb to it. I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to scream at him. I did that for so many years. Yeah. I don't even have it anymore. So then I thought, well, maybe it's a good idea

to have a friend go with me. So there's no like Kristen Setter did this. So we did go upstairs. And unfortunately, I have to respect that they share that home as much as I want to say, get the fuck out. Legally, he's allowed to be at that house. So I started just reminding everybody the best thing we can do right now is to respect

what the laws are. And remember that we need to get what we want, not how we want to get what we want. So us telling him to get the fuck out and can't you realize you've heard her and like we're not going to get what we want that way. Yeah. So if I have to tug at his triveling heartstrings, if I have to feed into a stupid ego right now, just to say, you know, I know you care about her. Don't you, don't you see that this would be a better idea? No one's saying you can't come home, but we have a mediator for you guys and we tool for one of our own as best friends, not a showperson that has been willing to be that mouthpiece

between the two of them. Yeah. You just say, can you give her a couple of hours, heads up at least before you need to come home so she can leave. And this is what needs to happen for the next at least few weeks. That's a good idea. How did he seem to get it?

Yes and no. The ego of it all is my house blah, blah, blah. She can leave if she's not comfortable, but I think we're starting to like, we're starting to get there. You know, I'm gonna... That attitude blows my mind. How are you not so contrite and so apologetic and humbled

and like, whatever you need, whatever you need, how is that not the only correct attitude to have? I feel like because he hasn't felt a loss yet, and that's the only thing that I can attest to. But again, I was a lot younger, and I don't know if he's going to learn anything from this, but I know when I messed up, I had to lose everything

in order to become a better person. And really do the work on myself, and not just surround myself with a bunch of yes people that were going to tell me I wasn't wrong. I had to lose all my friends, be alone, go to therapy, work on the inside so I could prove that I was becoming a changed person, prove that I was growing up. And then I eventually took about a year and a half

before anyone talked to me again. So I hope for his sake, there's something inside of him that is just for his own well-being. Yeah. That he's not gonna continue this. I mean, dude's almost 41 years old. It's not a good one. Being 20 something year olds and groupies

and play with your dumb cover band, like your world is blowing up right in front of you. It's not a good look. What about James's James fest? Yeah, I mean, we all know how I feel about James, so I have zero like poor James, I don't care, but yes, you feel the man about James the know how I feel about James. So I have zero, like poor James, I don't care. But yes, you feel the way about James the way we all feel about James. But yeah, I mean, but yeah, I know he's really mad

and he's very like team Ariana and has reached out to her from what I understand. He's definitely more pissed about Tom than he is about Raquel doing this. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, from what I understand. What a mess. Because that's the thing again, the group of friends, like everybody now lost a front too.

This is like a death to Ariana. Yes, right. It's a real serious loss. Yeah, and you all have to live and work together at least for the show, but my god, it's such a mess. Yeah, it's in the fact that she is getting up every day and putting makeup on and going to film, like I'm so proud of her for not rolling over and dying.

No, it's probably keeping her, it's the best thing for her to stay busy. It's probably the best thing, because if, I don't know what I would do, I'd crawl into bed, like, right? Like if I didn't have a job and a family and like a kid in responsibilities and a reason to keep going, I'd go to bed and not want to wake up for weeks.

And I know she had a good night's sleep last night, which is so important. Good. And I know what she's mostly worried about, which I think we can all understand in any kind of law situation is she's afraid for the first time she really has to sit alone with these thoughts.

So right now the distractions are great, they're healthy distractions and I told her my opinion in going through things of any kind of loss. I think now is not the time to sit alone with your thoughts. Now is the time to always have at least one person around you so you don't feel so alone. I don't think having, you think having all the cooks in the kitchen and everyone giving their opinions and advice right now is the greatest idea either. But I think for at least a few weeks,

she doesn't need to be alone with her thoughts right now. I think you're right. I think that's really good advice. Because that time will come. That time will come where she's got to confront this this, confront that the last 10 years, I'm sure a lot of it was good, but some of it was a lie. And she's going to have to confront that and that time will come, but I think you're right to give it some, like let's make her comfortable first.

Yeah, and I think in, you know, in a year's time, like this is, her life is going to be so different. She is going to flourish. She's no longer going to have to put this energy into raising a man child, and adding him on the back every time he hit places trumpet. She gets to do projects for herself. She gets to throw herself into this new sandwich shop. She can write another cocktail book without Tom Sanable writing her fucking coattails. Yes. She can do so many things.

And I think in a year we're gonna see a much happier, very different Ariana. No one has any doubt that she's, you know, she's gonna be great and she's gonna flourish. She's got so many talents. Have you ever dealt with anything like this like in your personal life as far as like friends of yours? Or obviously not you. you're happily married,

you have a most adorable sign named Jack. Yes, thank you. But yeah, have you ever had to deal with like a friendships or something of this magnitude? Yeah, I mean, unfortunately, yeah. I've had friends and it's awful because the stakes get really high, right? When you have kids, houses, assets, then it's not just a breakup, but it's really, I mean,

a lot of collateral damage. And so, yeah, I have a friend that I'm close with who has gone through something similar. And it's tough because we're friends with both both people and figuring that out is tough and also you just like um you want to be there for your friend you don't want to guide them too much to make like to convince them to make huge life decisions that they might be ready to make right you just kind of want to like give them their time but no this unfortunately happens and I live in a real small town you guys are probably a little luckier in LA I live in a give them their time, but no, this unfortunately happens. And I live in a real small town.

You guys are probably a little luckier in LA. I live in a small town. People hear about this in town at like school, you know, like parents taught. I mean, so there's an added. You're getting things. Yeah. Players of grossness when it happens in like a small town

and there's kids involved. But it's also no matter what. And you lean on your friends and you help your friends get through it. But yeah, this is not unheard of. It's just awful. My sister always says, whenever I'm going through something, she's like, do you want advice or do you want me to listen?

Yes. And I think it's the same thing. And we say, do you want comfort or do you want solutions? Right. Because not everybody wants you to hear, yeah, let me solve your problems for you. And I'm a fucking fixer at heart. I'm a fix everything for everyone.

I don't want to take care of me. It's not about me right now. What can I do to make this better? And it's very wild to me just in my own head how I see very clearly there is no way for me to fix this. So I'm not going to try. If she just wants to sit there and hug,

if she wants to talk about it, she doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Like, that's all that we... Yes. ...all do for her. That's right. I'm really proud of her for deleting her social media, as I said earlier,

because that's the last thing she needs to see right now. No, that was smart of her to do. Another friend who was in a marriage was cheated on and decided not to leave. And that's a choice, right? We all have to weigh the pros and cons of leaving. Again, kids, that changes the calculus of just being like, well, I'm done and walking out, that changes thing. Right.

So she stayed. So then you have to deal with, okay, well, I know everything that happened, because y'all told me, and now you're trying to make it work, and I'm going to try and be there to help you make it work and support this decision, even though I might not like it. You know, that's part of the friend circle job too. Yeah, I mean, think about the way I feel about Jackson Brittany, you know, before they were married. That was one of the hardest things as her best friend from not to make it about me,

but for me to go through because I have enough history knowing of the person Jack's used to be before marrying her. And then when he cheated on her when they were dating to then just still support that relationship, let alone then they got engaged and they got married and to just constantly be supporting it. But at the end of the day, that is not my my choice to make it's not my decision to make so

Do you continue to be friends or do you? It's just not about me so that's right. I got to be there Yeah, you just got to got a role with it, but it's hard It's hard especially when you can see it happening. Like you can see very clearly red flags, bad news. This isn't good, but there's only so much you can do because it's not you, you know? Yeah. Well, Ariana's lucky to have you.

Thank you. She has a really good support group around her now. It's gonna be a long run. It's gonna be a long run. It's gonna be a long run. It's gonna be a long run. It's gonna be a long run. It's gonna be a long run.

It's gonna be a long run. It's gonna be a long run. It's gonna be a long run. It's gonna be a long run. It's gonna be a long run. It's gonna be a long run. It's gonna be a long run. It's gonna be a her today. Oh, good. I'll probably stop by there at some point. Some of the girls are there right now, like kind of cleaning up dinner from last night. And I think she just needs a little bit of time to breathe and sleep and then not be so overwhelmed. She needs a lot of time. I mean, a 10 years. You don't just like shrug and move past the end of a 10-year relationship, especially when

it ends that way. It's going to take a long time. You know. Yeah, and filming the show, like, she's just going to be talking like, I remember when I was on Vanderpump Rules, the hardest part at the end because there were so many episodes was, whatever happened that summer was going to keep happening until we started filming the next summer. Because we're filming, then they're doing interview bites, then they're doing pickups, then you're doing press,

then you're doing watch what happens live. Then now they're picking up cameras again in March for the season from last summer. And it's like, when does anyone kind of on that show get a time to just chill? Like I hope that at some point, yeah, where she just gets to go go home or like go out of the country and go on vacation and just kind of shot her brain off.

I hope that she's allowed at that time. That's such a good point. She won't be able to stop thinking about this for a really long time because of the show and the cycle. Yeah. And I also, I forgot to say this in the beginning, but for anyone who was saying I want to make this clear, none of us are banking on her heartbreak.

I was given a very strong go ahead to talk about this on my podcast. She wants all of us to, she's like, do it, go for it. None of this is happening out of school, completely supported and fine, right? Yes, and yeah, and with like my Instagram post where she and I like in real time, that was Ariana saying, let's take a picture. Let's do a video right now because I'm not on social media, but then you can just show

everyone like I'm okay right now. Yes. So just all the, all the trolls out there saying we're, we're all banking on this. No, this was like no, no, no, no. I wouldn't want to take part in some gossip fest either to like capitalize on this note. This was like no no No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, some, someone made a t-shirt that was not very nice, but it's like the shorts and sandy logo and it says scumbags and cheaters lounge. And they DM'd me and said, I'm not going to profit on her heartbreak what charity would she like all of the proceeds to go to. And then I had someone else make a candle that was like light this every time you think

of a bambi-eyed bitch or something. And then they all so messaged me and said, what charity would Ariana like, all of the proceeds? So it's like, okay, that is some slightly silver lining that it's annoying. But it's like, okay, that made her happy. At least there's people are not banking on her heartic, but they're like giving money to charity now.

It's lemonade. It's lemonade out of lemons. And that's all, you know, we'll take, we'll take any lemonade we can get on this. The tiniest vacation. Okay, so let's just switch gears a little bit because as much as I love talking to you about all of this, I do want to talk about just you a little bit. Oh, I'm so boring, but okay. No, you're not so boring, and that's why I love you so much. Like, who would have thought, you know, if you would have asked me many, many moons ago if I was gonna be friends with like a Republican political

commentator and be having margaritas in Manhattan, I would have been like, you're fucking crazy. Well, and vice versa, but like, we really did hit it off, and like, there was something sisterly in our meeting. And then I got to do it twice with you. I was like, I get you go on it again, and we get to hang out again. I know. I love you.

I know. I know. And we're so close in age, but you're just like, you have way more going on. Well, I don't, you know, I'm boring. I have a, I just have a job and a family. I know that's why I know what's watching a reality show about me. I would like to reality show about you. I absolutely would.

But I do remember, like it lives rent-free in my heart in my head, a line that you had said one time, watch what happens live, where you said, Kristen, it's something long lines of that I was a social justice warrior for those who have been like harmed by James Kennedy where your causes are quite different. Like, LGBTQ community and like Syrian refugees. But we're both justice warriors, you know what I mean? We stand for what we believe in. It's a me. I mean, I would say we both bring the same passion to our causes.

We do. We are committed. I mean, absolutely. And yeah, I have, in covering the news, I end up seeing some of the worst things imaginable. And I end up seeing things that are so graphic. We, they don't even make it to air sometimes. but that's my job, that's my burden, and we do it so that we can give you the news. And so over the years, I've had to cover the Syrian war, and so I'm on the board of a charity called inara.org that takes care of kiddos who have been injured, physically or emotionally and psychologically

by the war in Syria, and we get the medical attention. And that's a good outlet and a really important cause. And then I'm also an ambassador for no kid hungry here in America to help eradicate childhood hunger. So those are things that I do outside of my job and outside of my life, but I need to do them. I need to feel like I'm making some difference somewhere, even if it's small, because as a news person,

it can feel exhausting and like you're not making a difference. You know, like you're not, nobody cares, no one's listening. You know what I mean? Yeah, and I was gonna ask, so because your husband, John, is also in politics. Is that difficult ever for you guys when you're, because you're going through a lot when you're working. Like you're seeing having to talk about digest

all of these insane things going on around the world, and then you go home. Yeah. And you're a wife and you're a mom. Yeah. And is that ever difficult for you? It's sort of like turn that part off and then go home and like Jack needs, you know, you guys are going to make dinner together and he's talking about school and then you're like getting

in bed and cozying up with your husband to watch TV at night or whatever, you know. Yep. It's really hard and I struggle with it and I've been really open and honest about my mental health struggles. I have anxiety pretty severe and a lot of that has to do with my job and what I cover and seeing terrible things and this false impression that I have from covering news for 20 years that like everything's bad and dangers around every corner and something awful is definitely going gonna happen. Like that's how I have become over years. And it's terrible and it's unhealthy and I'm in therapy and I'm working through it so that I can function

and not take it all home with me and not look at Jack and be overwhelmed with fear for him or take it out on John who like you know is the most supportive best husband ever like so that's something I work at constantly and you know about mental health and how important there is depression I'm on medication I know therapy like I need all of that and there's no shame in that. If factors quite the opposite, because if you are in that space, that's the best thing you can do is you know work on it and not ignore it. I don't know anyone

who's a hundred percent okay, right? Like I feel like everyone could benefit from, it might not be therapy, although I think therapy is great, but like some mental health breaks and really paying attention to your mental health. Because I let mine really get away from me. I put everything else first, my job, and then my family, and then my kid, COVID, you know, I put everything ahead of my mental health, and it really got away from me. And then I, it was a crisis. Then it was a nervous breakdown, and I had to really like rebuild and unlearn

some terrible habits that I had been doing to like cope with anxiety. So it's better to pay attention to it and get help early than to have it be a crisis and you have to relearn everything, you know what I mean? Did you always only want to have one child? Are you ever, do you guys talk about ever having another one or?

Brista. Are you just so past that at this point? No. No. I mean, this was hard for the first few years after Jack was born. He's eight now. So, yeah.

We're probably wondering like, we're done. But I wrestled with it for the first five years of his life And I was really torn we had such a good work life balance with one kid We both worked and we got to spend a lot of time together and I didn't want to give up a second of that So I was really nervous about adding to this kind of perfect balance But then you know as time went on, I, yeah, I regretted not having another kid because I feel like I have more love to give.

And when you feel that way, it's a little aching to wonder what could have been, but this is our family, and our family's wonderful and beautiful, and we're so lucky and everyone's healthy and happy. And it's great, but that wasn't an easy call for me, you know? Yeah, that was a good way to word it. It's like how I feel now.

My ovaries are like on fire, and I'm like, just I need a baby. But that's a great way to word it though. It's like I had this aching because I have so much love. Like I feel like my purpose, like not my whole entire purpose, but a big part of my purpose on this planet is to be a mother.

Do it! So I'm like, I had a turn for it already. Luckily the ovaries are still young from what I'm- Before I go find- Do it. That is how it feels, the like, I need to put this love somewhere. And there's nothing like it, and I won't even tell you what it's like, because it's impossible.

You'll know it when it happens, and then you'll experience what it's like for you. But there's nothing like it, and you can't supplant anything else for it. It's not like, I'll just get a dog or, you know, there's nothing like that. No, we have dogs, we have plants, we have friends. That's great, but there's nothing like it, and I hope you experience it because you'd be such a great mom. Yeah, thank you. Okay, I just have one more question.

Just in general, as someone who's a married woman, as someone who's, who has been with John, like 11, 12 years, something like that total. Yes, you have to see any of the married, how long have I been? Yes, what a man you know my life. No, I'm fascinated by you. So just, but that's like a really long time

and like you guys obviously have a wonderful marriage and a great partnership and your best friends and all of that. Is there any one or few things that you would say like has helped create and continue to make your relationships successful? It's important to be with someone you admire and I've been with people I didn't necessarily admire before. And if you're with someone you admire, you are constantly surprised and impressed. And for me, that's the attraction. I mean, yes, my husband's very attractive. I'm physically attracted to him.

And that's certainly what caught my eye. But like, but the attraction beyond that keeps going when this person is constantly doing something I'm impressed with. And that can just be being a great dad, being great at his job and telling me things that he's been doing at his job that kind of blow my mind, being a responsible husband, whatever it is, you know, having a great golf shot, whatever it is like to be constantly impressed. I mean, that's what keeps it alive because at the end of the day, marriage, the reason we do this is because we need a witness in our life. We need someone to witness

what we're doing and who we are and our growth and our mistakes and love us no matter what. And then we need to be a witness for the other person. That's why we're in this. That's why you choose to be with one person, right? I mean, it's not always the funnest, but you do it because you want to be, you want to be, you want to be seen. And you want to be understood and known inside and out. And so that's what I'm there to do for John and John's there to do for me. And then we're here to be great parents to our kid. But if you don't admire, really admire the person you're with, I just feel like it gets easy to say, well, I'm going to move on from this. So it's easy to do that if you're not really impressed

by the person you're with constantly. I love that. Yeah, I've not heard it said that way, but I definitely have felt that. I've gone years being single. And it's like, I go do these cool things, go on these trips, or have these accomplishments, and I have no one to share it with. So I felt exactly what you're saying. I just hadn't heard it put that way. And yeah, I think that was great. Yeah, same, because with admiration comes love and lust and respect and yeah, like being impressed and excited.

And it's just like, I just felt this whole like a rave like emotions as you were saying that. I was like, oh, well that's the part of these days alive. The looks can fade, you know, the money or the successes can dry up or whatever. You become different things to each other as you get older, right?

But if you're constantly impressed, that's what keeps it going. That's what keeps it alive and exciting. Oh, I love that. They're just like filled with heart. It's about to start. Oh, I love it. It's very, very, very, back to New York. I need you to come to LA sometime. I need Margaritas with you.

Time, we'll do it. We'll do it soon and under better circumstances than this ship's best that you're dealing with. We'll come out to New England and Luke's like about, like I feel like he's sweating glitter right now as you're talking about golfing, hunting, fishing. We'll do it like, I love all those things. Let's do it all. We'll do it all. I love all those things. Let's do it off.

Let's do it off. Yeah, the LA life is very different for him when, you know, it's not really his jam. Come to New England, we, you know, we'll fish, we'll hunt, we'll hike, we'll golf, we'll do it all. We'll do all the guppies. All the yuppies, that's it. I love you so much. I love you and Alan. Hug starryono, okay? Take care of much. I love you and I'm Ellen.

Hug starry on it, okay? Take care of her. I will. I absolutely will and I'll tell her you said that. Yeah. It was great meeting you, I see. Good to see you guys. Bye, honey.

Mwah. and follow Luke on Instagram at Luke Double underscore broadred. Be sure to click the subscribe button so you can stay up to date with new episodes every single Wednesday. Thanks for listening. See you next week.