Sex, Love, and What Else Matters - VPR From the Start - S2 E6 & E7

Episode Date: October 29, 2023

Episode 69.  In this episode, Kristen is joined by one of her besties, Rachael O’Brien, to recap VPR Season 2, episodes 6 and 7. These keep getting harder for Kristen to watch back, but she is powering through! Tune in to hear some behind the scenes details about filming that you would’ve never guessed.  Sponsors: Download the DraftKings Casino app NOW, sign up with promo code DOUTE, and new customers get a deposit match up to ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS in casino credits when you deposit $5 or more! Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/kristen Follow us: @kristendoute @luke__broderick Email us: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, Bay? Welcome back to another episode of VPR from the start. We are on season 2, episode 6, and episode 7. And I have Rachel Bryan here with me. I'm here to support you in your favorite season. We are our favorite season ever. And we're about to get into the worst episodes ever of all time.

I think I say this every single week, but you guys know. I actually didn't realize it was going to trigger a little trauma for me as well. Right? I was like, OK, Kristen, I was here to support you. You know, I've said it a million times, and I'll repeat it for you. I have not watched the season in 10 years.

So I actually didn't even remember a lot of this stuff. I just know the bad stuff that happens. So a lot of this I'm going, oh wow, I forgot about that. Oh, oh, didn't know that was the season. Okay. Also, I forgot that Jack sees that same therapist again. Can I say this?

Yeah. Didn't he sleep with one of the therapists? He did not, but I definitely think that the therapist wanted to sleep with him. Okay, that's therapist again. Can I say this? Yeah. Didn't he sleep with one of the therapists? He did not, but I definitely think that this therapist wanted to sleep with him. Oh, that's the story. OK. Yes. This was the therapist.

Luke and I discussed this in season one of recaps that Carmen and I randomly met at a bar. Yeah. OK. And that was this therapist. And she was just spilling all of his tea and I tried to get her fired and like get her license taken away. Yeah, it's like HIPAA laws.

Yes, exactly. I don't know if that's the same law for therapy. Oh, it totally is. Whatever. I think so. Okay. She would not throw that woman out of the bus though. Oh no, I've thrown her and I will continue to do so.

Okay. Hey, hey, hey, hey, Kristen has changed a lot from this episode, but she still has not changed with a... No, my social justice warrior. That's who I am. Okay guys, so episode six is Lisa's Angels and we first show up at Villarosa, Lisa's giant mansion in Beverly Park and Lisa has a gay pride meeting with Katie, Shina, Tom, Peter, Jeremy, and Good old Kevin Lee, whose own almost a little fabulous, darling.

And it's exactly what you would expect. They decide that they're gonna wear white wings, white victory's secret wings, and they're stapling like ship from Joanne Fabrics to a board that they're gonna drive down West Hollywood. Mm-hmm. I'm being kind of an asshole, but I love pride. Everyone knows pride is like so, so, so much fun.

Oh, it's so fun. I was probably being a little like bitchy because I was not allowed to skip work and ride on the float this particular. Yeah, I had to ask you about that. But before we get into that part, the thing that we took notes on that I, I realized it was like rewatching that, I don't even know if I'd ever seen that episode necessarily. I, who knows, it's very clear to me that like everyone has not realized how to do reality TV yet. Meaning like, nothing about that's rehearsed.

It's kind of chaotic. It's like everyone's talking over each other and it's just like, why are we just talking about this random play? Like, it just seems very like chaotic. It was chaotic. Yeah, it was. You're right.

Because now it seems like, I mean, I haven't watched it episode forever, but like, I know, you know, I mean, I thought to have an Ariana, like one time, like, I don't know, season five. What, when we were at shit, that barbecue, it shades for Shay. Shay and Carter's birthday. Yeah. And I, I overheard Tom and Ariana like plotting set, like, like, being like, okay, I'm going to say this.

You're going to say this. And then you're going to say this. I was like, oh, I just got you. Yeah. But like, it seems like that scene, I was like, this is so early on and your guys' reality career, that it's like not organized at all. No, that you're totally right.

It's very chaotic. And so amongst. That's not makes it kind of cool though, little bit. It's interesting, but like amongst this chaos, so yeah, it's kind of just like pride stuff at Lisa's, pride stuff at Lisa's, and then all of a sudden, you have Jax and Tom and Tom, like riding their bikes.

It just cuts to that out of nowhere, which is a little chaotic as well. But the boys are riding their bikes. All of a sudden, Tom's Hannibal, they stop, and Tom's Hannibal takes a shirt off for something. Yeah, he uses this as an opportunity to show that he has abs, which I just wanted to be like, Tom, we know that you guys are poor right now,

and you're just really thin. That's totally true. We were also thin. We couldn't afford food. Yeah, let's say this reference, because this is something I wanted to talk about. I remember Kristen a long time ago telling me that the second season of Vanderpump rules

that you guys were the poorest you'd ever been. Yes, and explain one. Negative bank accounts. Yeah, I sort of explained this in season one, and I think I have just in general, but it was because we weren't even allowed to like work at Sir as often as we normally were, which is like how we were making ends meet. And we didn't have the time to like really be doing these side like modeling jobs or acting jobs that we were doing. So it was like,

we just couldn't make money except for the money the show was bringing in, which was not very much. Yeah. I don't even remember what it was in season two. It was probably like, 15,000 or something. 15,000 or something. And you guys, when I say it like that, and it's like, oh, we shot for a few months, but I'm talking like, that's for the whole year. Yeah. That's like how much money we made for a whole year.

I can attest to that for a year. Yeah, yeah. But I feel like it's like, yeah, Tom, yes, we get it, you're thin, and you naturally have muscle. Please don't show off for us. Like, why are you just taking your shirt off randomly with the two other dudes? It's like, it's clearly not that hot out.

Not everyone's like, oh my God. So I'm just like, this is my time to shine. It was. And then he does his little dance, his like, ass twerk like she not. They're like, Tom, do the dance. Well, short says, Tom, do the dance. It's just for everyone to like, show off at this point. So that's pretty much it.

Like, Stasi and single Jax is like the conversation of the time and then that's when Santa Ball is like, yeah, I guess she is going to be singing her song like on repeat. So then back at Sir, we have a staff meeting which never ever happened. So Stasi obviously says like, if we're having a staff meeting, it means someone's in fucking trouble. So who screwed up? And Lisa says, you guys are not in trouble. However, I am going to introduce Ariana to the group. She's now going to be bar tending. And I'm still in this phase of like, I love Ariana. She's so great. I could, I can totally find with her working there. I don't have any issues, Lisa. I've learned my lesson from being suspended. I'm going to read that best employee you've ever had, period.

You have such a range of like ability and emotions in the set, so I'm like at first, I'm like, oh my god, Kristen was like so nice to her, which then at the end I was like, oh, I didn't know this was gonna happen. But spoiler alert, okay. That's such a good point, yeah. So the rumors get introduced in that Tom,

I say that Tom is like completely denied all of these. And essentially it's like that, Stasi says like, you know, the Tom and Ariana rumors are very dicey, but nobody knows the truth at this point. Like we have all sort of tried to deep dive into these through all of the time at Villabonca, but nothing has ever turned up, so maybe they are just rumors, right? Maybe they are. Then we skip to Sheena at the studio, so this is, this is Vander Pumperuels' way of like highlighting what we do outside of waiting tables. So Sheena's in the studio practicing her new single, and eventually we end up at

Pride, which is essentially what this whole episode is about, Lisa's Angels. So we're at Pride. I am having to work at Sur because I was recently suspended as we went over earlier. And everyone is having to be shirtless and have Sur-like airbrush tattooed on their chests. Did you feel jealous that you didn't get to partake in the festivities? Um, I was jealous that I didn't get to skip work. Okay, got it. But I clearly got to wear my little flower crown.

You looked adorable. Oh my God. You know what, help me. No one told me I had to tire a six head. Like don't wear your hair slicked back when it's like a body. Oh, I thought you looked really cute, but I kept telling you when we were watching, I was like, you look a lot like your brother though.

You're like, you're, first of all, I'm like your way too thin. Yeah. I don't remember you being that thin. This is pretty bad. Yeah, I was like, I couldn't afford food, you know what I mean? Yeah, whatever. It's, it happens to all of us. Those days, no, I like myself better now, for sure.

Well, you're gorgeous. And so then I got into the alley, so everyone comes back from like the Pride Parade and I go into the alley, the Sir Alley, the good old Sir Alley talking to Stassi and Katie that I went through Tom's phone and that I found Tom and Ariana texting. And it was like, well, I said something like,

I find myself going through Tom's phone a lot these days and sometimes I don't find things, but of course, this time I found something. And it's Tom and Ariana texting about, like, they wish it could be Coachella again and having like a party in our backyard. Like their own Coachella. Right. That was like, yeah, like, we'll have a boom box and it'll be could be Coachella again and having like a party in their own Coachella. Right.

It was like, yeah, like we'll have a boom box and it'll be our own Coachella or something like that. Right. And so I just like, Mom, how is that not incriminating? Right. It felt odd to me. Yeah. Like, how would you, you know what I mean? Like obviously your mom.

If I saw that in my husband's phone, I would be like, um, can I talk to you outside for a sec? It's not. So I approached Ariana at the bar, and this was funny when Rachel and I were watching this because I don't really remember being this like, Dauceau. I was surprised. I was surprised.

I actually broke my heart to like, because I love you so much. And it was like watching, I almost just had a little cry right there because I knew it was like, it must have hurt you so much in that moment. Like, it was, it was really kind of sad. It was really embarrassing.

It was just like a little girl. Like it was really sad. Yeah, there was something very like honest about it that I was like rather than I, all I remember was ever being a bitch to her and being really mean. So I don't remember just like sort of breaking down. I wonder, I gotta ask Rion if she remembers this.

Yeah, you should actually interview her for that. All right, do you remember this shit? Cause I don't, but. But you seemed so like, and you kind of were like almost like in a weird way like begging her, like, like, Oh, I was begging you. Like saying like, I'm having a hard time in my relationship. I know, I straight up said like, I'm insecure.

Yeah. I feel like he likes you. I've terrified about this. Like, just please tell me, like, I won't even care. I wouldn I feel like he likes you. I've terrified about this. Like, just please tell me, like, I won't even care. I wouldn't even be mad at you. Just like, tell me the truth because I can't do this anymore. And she's like, dude, enough. She's okay.

Let me just say this because I love Ariana now. Yes. She's a wonderful person and she's just gone through something very terrible with the same man. But I think she's thriving. She's fucking killing it. She looks gorgeous. She's amazing.

But we're talking about that. Yeah. She comes off so smug. Yeah. And very cold. It really is. She's got a range in this whole episode too. It's like, you have a range.

It's actually quite a dramatic episode. It's really. This is why Vinterpepp rules is probably very good to people that watch it. Yeah. For me, I'm like, I see my friends do this. Yeah. But you're so sweet and just kind of, I mean, I don't mean to be mean,

but like almost a little like pathetic in a way. Oh, absolutely. Please don't be mean to me. Please don't you. Like, come on. And she's just like, no. And she kind of just looks at you like, I'm bored right now. Yeah, like, why are you coming up to me?

Like please go talk to your boyfriend. I don't even know you, which was also correct. Oh, that's true. Really didn't know her at all. Yeah, but Kristen's gut was correct, right? Yeah, and then, oh, this was just like a funny little ad in, but as I'm crying to her, we have another, we have another Matt Kutschall cameo.

Oh, I, I said, yeah, I stopped and I was like, Kristen, is that that guy, like TikTok guy, married to Ariel? Yeah. Matt Kutschall, having his other little cameo that he absolutely did not want. We're standing there having this stupid conversation. I'm crying. She's looking at me like I'm an idiot.

Matt's just waiting for a damn drink because he definitely does not want to be there right now. He's like, this is just a job I have to go. Yeah. Essentially, like how I felt was like, she's so cool, she's so chill according to Tom. And I just feel so stupid accusing this girl who is so cool, calm and collected. And she comes across that way.

Listen, she is cool. But she was like, she was a good actor in that moment. I'll give her that. I don't think she was even doing it for the cameras. I think that that's how she would have treated you in real life because it was just like, because I was being a basket case and she, that's just not how she made her better than you.

And it's also just not like how she reacts to things. Yeah. She's not like this like, especially back then, like this big emotional basket case who's gonna like do that, you know. Step into a world of non-stop action on DraftKingsCasino, play the classics like Blackjack, Roulette, and Spots. Plus, enjoy exclusive games you can't find anywhere else.

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in. Remember that's Shopify.com slash Kristen. So then we cut to Katie Stasi and Jack's outside and Jack's is like apparently sending Stasi these endless amounts of text and he says that Stasi is insecure so that is why she's countlessly bashing him and that it's just a defense mechanism. So this episode should have been called gaslighting. It really should have. He's doing that a little bit later. You do it at the end against boiler alert. But yeah, like she's just insecure. No, I can attest to how it feels when you date jacks. Yes. And it is constant gaslighting. Quick story when a girl messaged me on my space back in 2007 or 2008 because of Kristen and I are 100 now. Jack's still older when I was dating Jacks.

And I might be able to tell the story in your podcast before. I'm certainly told online saying that she hooked up with Jacks in a bathroom at this. Like party he was working. It was like, were models were bartenders or whatever, on New Year's Eve or something. I don't know what I was doing, poor little Rachel, she is, probably nothing cool. I think it was the maloops that night actually.

Yeah, you probably do something actually cool. Yeah, it was probably something cool, but not cheating or partaking in substances, just being a pretty good kid that drank a little bit. But anyways, yeah, she basically messaged me on MySpace and I read it while I was in acting class and I like came home to the house I was sharing

with Jacks or the apartment or whatever. And I was like, this girl said that she made out with you in the bathroom and he was like, the whole city of Los Angeles is against me. And I was like, I don't know what this has to do with the city of Los Angeles is against me. I was like, I don't know what this has to do with the city of Los Angeles. And just called deflecting. Just threw a huge tantrum to the point where I was just like,

okay, I'm overwhelmed, so I'll just let it go for now. Yeah, and by the way, we are not jacks bashing because as you'll see in the next episode on this podcast episode, Jacks will admit to like all of these things that when he wasn't happy with himself, like he admits that this is the kind of thing that he was doing. And we're also talking 10 years ago guys,

so don't get it all twisted. And obviously we're still friends with him. Like we made a point for his dad died to fly out to Detroit for the show. And trust me, we're gonna bash me. We're gonna bash me this episode too. Oh yeah, I mean, there's a lot of highs and lows for Christmas. Yeah.

So then we go back to me inside of the restaurant and I'm like, okay, I gotta go talk to Tom, you know, the art of war. The art of war, Rachel. Yeah, you were smart though. I say like I'm going to, although Ariana didn't give me very much, if anything at all, I'm gonna tell Tom that she did just to see what I can get out of him.

And I'm gonna try to convince him that she's told me more than what I actually know. It was smart. I mean, I threw out art of war when we were watching it. I was like, wow, shit, you're good. Yeah, and so that's essentially what I do. I'm just like, well, here's, these are screenshots from your phone

and he's doing the like, huh? I don't know, what are you talking about? What? Oh yeah, he acts very flabbergasted, like just the like, huh, I don't know, what are you talking about? What? Oh yeah, he acts very flabbergasted, like just very like, whoa. Such a good lying fact. Why are you talking? Like, what's happening right now?

And I essentially, I just say, like, listen, and I, it's actually not a good lie. I was like, very calm there too. Like, when did I think I started losing my shit, maybe once they started dating or something? Because I was like pretty calm there too. I was just going, I was like, I searched, I searched, I found you lied. That's that.

You need to clarify what he lied about because it wasn't super clear to me. I had to have no degree watch it like three times because I was like, what, what is he saying? Yeah, so it was that during that time, what I'm saying in the moment is like, I was at work. I was texting him nonstop, and he wasn't messaging me back, but he was messaging Ariana back the whole time. And then he was saying, she was like, hey, are you mad at me?

And he was like, no, I'm not mad at you, which isn't something you really say to a random friend, unless you guys had a blow up fight. And then it was the whole Coachella boom box, let's have Coachella again, but kind of a private one in the backyard. And he's just denying, like, oh, that's fine, whatever, we're friends, it's fine.

I think he would even say, like, I don't even hang out with Rihanna. Yeah, it was just, I've never even hung out with, okay. Which is stupid because you have Rihanna going, of course I text Tom. I've text been texting Tom for many years now. We have been friends.

That is how you, what did she say? She's just smarter than me. She's really smart. Yeah. I mean, honestly, that's a better lying tactic. Tom's is a very obvious lying tactic. Well, I don't even know her. I've checked it.

Mariana, what's her name? Yeah. So in the episode ends with me just looking at Tom going, you know what, you're right, it's all in my mind. Like, you fucking liar. Did you really believe that at the time? No, I absolutely did not. It was just like, okay, we're not getting anywhere,

so end of conversation for now. So now we are at episode seven, addicted, which I still stand with Rachel. I think both of these episodes should have been called gaslighting. Honestly. And we start with a little fun scene that Vanderpump rules you still love to do.

I don't really know if they do it anymore, but it was like, what can we do to like, that's fun to get you guys to talk, but to like sort of embarrass you still love to do. I don't really know if they do it anymore, but it was like, what can we do to like, that's fun to get you guys to talk, but to like sort of embarrass you and make you uncomfortable. And they took Stasi and Katie to get their VJs waxed and their buttholes. And I think at this point, neither of them had ever had it done.

And I know for damn sure Katie's never had it done ever since. It appeared that Stasi had, because she was kind of like, Katie's never done this before. Like, I think. I think. I think. That makes sense. I prefer the sugar.

So, yeah. But I love the middle of nowhere now. So they go and get waxed and then they're literally, it was just a funny scene because you couldn't get any conversation because Katie's just screaming the whole time. I may have skipped forward on that. Yeah. So then we have Stasi and Shina talking about Shina's column in the divine addiction,

which is the magazine that Pandora runs. And Shina asks Stasi, like, we go have a drink with me, would you go over my article and like, let me know what you think. And Stasi's like, sure, Shina, let me sit here, proofreading your brilliant, complete piece of literature. It was pretty funny. I love more. It was pretty funny aligned by Stasi. It was so worth writing down. more. It was pretty funny, line by Stasi. It was so worth writing down. So Stasi and Shina, they go and have this drink and they're going over Shina's article,

Stasi's giving Shina compliments. Shina is just licking it up. Like, oh my gosh, Stasi, thank you for the compliment. So yeah, you like me, we're friends. And I'll pick up the drink. Yeah. Because she was like, I got this one. I was almost like, and you know that Pandora didn't pay them

to write that article, or if she did, it was, No, they don't get paid. This is like a blog. Yeah, like nominal at best, whatever. But like it almost seemed kind of like, I had a good article. I'll pick up the tab. Yeah.

This was a win for me. Like I got a bonus this time. I didn't notice that the first time was that I accidentally, when I was trying to finish the episode seven just earlier. I went back too far, so I rewatched it. I was like, oh, I didn't pick up on that the first time. Yeah, she's like, I got it.

Don't worry, this one's on me, girl. My new BFF. And then we have a bunch of what I like to call Lisa filler scenes because that's all they were to me. Then we have Stasi of what I like to call Lisa filler scenes because that's all they were to me. Then we have Stasi and Jacks again. I actually did not realize how long the Stasi and Jacks saga kind of continued on into season two as far as Jack's trying to get her back.

And them still fighting as if they're almost kind of dating in a way. But Stasi at this point tells Jacks, listen, stop contacting me, don't text me, don't call me because at this point, I will go to the lengths of quitting my job just to get away from you. And he is, you can tell Jacks is just defeated as well because he's like, I'm fucking sick of being reamed on and like being like insulted.

Yeah. But he's still going back for more because that's kind of Jacks' mo at this point. Yeah, well he feels guilty for cheating and whatever, but like, there's always two sides to every story, but it don't, Stasi never deserved to be cheated on, certainly. Correct.

But it's clear that that's Jackson's own problem. He's different now, I promise. Yes. No, I'm serious, but he's wonderful at Britney. But this is what was happening 10 years ago. Yeah, yeah, he was much younger and much dumber. Yeah, I think it was just, they were both hurt,

they were both hurtful with their words. Well, really no, where would you say that? Well, she actually says, I'm hurtful with my words, you're hurt with your actions. That's true. Yeah. And so it's still going on. And Stasi basically just dismisses him.

She says you can go now. Yeah, she would. Which is such a stasi move. Which, Rachel, you had- Because Stasi thinks she's Maria Antoinette. Right, and you and I were talking to her, I was like, man, sometimes, just sometimes. I wish I could be like that.

I wish at times I could be like, you know, hobble off. Yeah, walk away. Like, you're dismissed now. And so now at this point, Jacks appears to have truly finally accepted that stasi is like, listen, I don't want to date you. And he goes, you know what? You want.

I'm done. I'm moving on. And watching it back, I was like, I believe him. Yeah. I believe him. And then this was really fun. He gets disgusting. Sorry, Jacks.

I doubt you listened to this, but if you do, I apologize, but it was a little appalling to hear. Well, okay, before we get to that, so we have this ever-so-epic me and Santa Vaughan, the first day, the only day you'll ever see us on in the almost six years we dated. And he's like, babe, we're going to a Korean barbecue. Neither of us have ever been to a Korean barbecue. Have you guys ever been to a Korean barbecue?

Let me tell you what happens. I'm much better with it now. I think it's because I just really didn't like my boyfriend at the time. But sitting there being like, all you have to do is put in some effort and he takes me to a place where it's just like, rarely smoking in my face.

And he actually says, he says to the guy, because again, I accidentally rewatched that twice and I picked up on this where I'm like, this has come full circle because Christen's, I think soon to be has been at some point, whatever. It's like, Luke could say that, and I don't think it would like repulse you as much, but Tom, like, says to the waiter,

like, is there any way to get this extra rare or something? I was like, is he just doing that to fuck with her? Right. And there's like not one thing. He's like, yeah, maybe the spicy cabbage stew, I'm like, okay, you can go fuck yourself. So I drink my calories per usual. And then Tom calls me a ticking time bomb

in his little interview by about the Ariana rumors and I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt again because I'm excited about him trying. Like, this is ladies, this is what not to do. If you are in a relationship, number one, full of red flags, just wave it in your face, your man's cheated on you, your man's not respecting you.

And he does one semi-nice thing. And you just hold onto it like, oh my God. You know what? He's trying. I see it. No, no, no, no, no. Run for the fucking hills. I don't know that any... Watching my younger self play. I can really age out of that though.

Like, if that happened to me now, and that wouldn't have, it was great. I've aged out of it. I don't. I respect myself way too much to even. Yeah, I don't know. I hope I have, but hopefully I never have to be in that situation again. Let's hope that.

I'm grateful for all these lessons because if I have a daughter one day, although I'm hell bent on having boys, if I do have a daughter one day, I'm gonna know exactly what I've done, what these men have done in my life where I've had faults, where the men have had faults, but I'm telling you, ladies, watching these episodes

when we were in our younger years, is just like a really fucking sad at points, and also a bit infuriating. I'm like, were we that dumb? It does make me sad to watch for you guys, and to know all the mistakes I've made in my form or so too. But I also don't want your listeners, like if you are in that situation,

don't feel shame if you're... Don't feel shame. Like if you are kind of hanging on because it's hard not to want to be loved. Of course. So then we are done with my shit date from hell and we go and we see little baby Tom Schwartz, who I can't get over how young he looks in these seasons

and Jackson's about to go out. He's gonna go out in the town. He's gonna go out on a day in like, he's about to be single, Jack's again. And so Schwartz is there to like, you know, put some pep in his step and pump him up. He's gonna wear his normal shirt, he wears, he said. What, yeah.

Like his standard pickup shirt or whatever. Oh my God, that's actually really funny. Oh, and then it does go back, I forgot this one thing. It kind of does this flip flop, you know, between scenes. So it does go back to the Korean barbecue where SantaVall is like, yeah, you know, Jack's goes after the sure thing. And I said, well, most guys are like that.

Most guys go for the sure thing rather than the loyal ones who are waiting at home. Yeah, I gotta be honest, Kristen, I felt a little uncomfortable when you said that. Because you know, it's sick home. Yeah, I gotta be honest, Kristen, I felt a little uncomfortable when you said that. Because you know, let's succumb. Yeah, I would say. Oh, Chrisage. It's not good. Stop talking. Not good. So then I'm end up being like super negative, because I feel like I'm just doing like, here Tom says he's doing constant damage control, and I think I'm the one doing damage control. So now we go, let's go back to Jackson's date.

So Jackson's on a date with some girl named Paige. Jackson's, you know, I'm the one doing damage control. So now we go, let's go back to Jack's date. So Jack's is on a date with some girl named Paige. Jack says, you know, I'm going to be a little slutty. I'm going to be single, and this checks from Jersey and she doesn't say that to her. No, he says this like in his interview bite. Well he does kind of, oh, he kind of says something like that to her. Something and then she's like, oh, no, I'm totally free. Yeah, she says, I'm stress free, drama free.

I'm not trying to settle down. That's how I live. Poor thing. How many girls say that to guys to try to be the cool girl? I mean, also to go on a first date on camera must be extremely awkward. But to see it as a third person watching, so calm and just like, it was like,

she said something about tequila and he's like, yeah like when a club like easy yeah like I'm so responsible without the we'll have the nicest bottle of burgundy yeah he basically was just like I'm a responsible good man and she was a cat and he's wearing a real shirt yeah it's the one he wears on a lot of dates is uniform yeah so this Yeah, so this girl, yeah, when she's, she's, well, she's talking, she's like, I'll take you to Jersey and show you all the Jersey Shore things. Like, you're pretty much Jersey Shore anyway. Then she pulls out the stress-free drama free. This is how I live. And all I could think was, and then I'll find you. I'm yours. And then they're, yes. And then he's like, so what do you want to do? No, what He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he how that went. Yeah, well, well, we know stats on it, just about later in the episode of the commercial break. Yeah, that's true. Disgusting. So, well, this is where the stats

sort of start. So, Jack, we see Jack's back at work. And he's talking to one of the bartenders and he says that he's had seven girls in two weeks. And he goes, I don't even know. I think it's seven. I'm like, yeah, like, that's so sad. You like truly can't remember. Do you think he was saying telling the truth, or was he trying to sound cool? Who knows? I, it, yeah. That's so sad. You're like truly camera. Do you think he was telling the truth, or was he trying to sound cool? Who knows? It's possible. It was true. I'm going to go up, if I was a gambling man,

which I am, I would say he's telling the truth. Okay. Well, then Lisa walks up to the bar ever so casually and just starts talking to Jackson about his dating life. And as if that would really happen in any real scenario. It's just so weird. And it's always been weird to me.

And maybe it's because I don't have that relationship with her, but I know that it's weird for my friends too. And they just do it because it's part of being on that show. But you worked there before the show. Correct. No, she never. And she do that until finally. Absolutely not.

OK, so there we go. Now we have our answer. I don't even think. And Ken is the most lovely man. I absolutely love him. I've never had an issue with Ken, but I do remember, like when I first started working at Sir before Banner Pumperls,

he used to call me girl all the time. But he's older, he didn't remember. I know, that's true. He didn't mean it mean. I like him. Yeah. But yeah, so it's weird for me just Lisa's like, oh, so Jack's like concert dating life,

but how are you in Stonsey? And it's like really odd. She gave a shit. You know, and Lisa says something pretty spot on, like women love him, and they hate him too. Yeah, that's about right during this period of time. And Jack says, you know, last year I went to therapy, and I loved it, but I wasn't honest, and I really want to go back.

I was actually impressed with how honest he did get that he did get it, yeah, in real life. But he was also pretty stupid though, and when he talked about the great Gatsby book, that's later. So we go to Peter's 30th birthday party. Oh, what a party this was. And what I remember immediately when this scene came on

was that they gave us two free drink tickets that night. And we were all like, we can't afford to be at this club. We cannot afford $15 drinks, two free drink tickets. Yet their whole goal is to get you drunk. Right. So you do things like this. Right. Wow. That's why you see when you're on a budget. Well, when Lisa says, like when Lisa shows up,

which is like, oh shit, what is Lisa doing in the night club? I remember being very surprised by that. But she says, Peter, put your drinks on my tab. That is not a fake thing. That is like, holy fuck. Holy fuck. Holy holy, holy grail. Okay. Lisa's buying you drinks. What do we do? Do we just drink your drinks, Peter? Could I please have a sip of yours? I'm poor. Lisa? What I thought was funny from that scene though, but now maybe Lisa deserves the accolades in that scene. Is, uh, Sheena is like, Lisa shows up. She's the most beautiful woman in the room.

Everyone stares and pays attention. All I thought was did someone, did someone pay you to say that, Sheena? Right. Yeah, no. Lisa is fucking gorgeous. Lisa is fucking gorgeous. She's, she's very beautiful and she's very wealthy, but it's like, yeah, you show up at a shit hole nightclub in Hollywood and probably her role's Royce wearing her like Louboutins

and we're all dressed from like louloos.com like something we've had for like 10 years that we borrowed from each other that we've already worn on camera and Lisa walks in just looking like it's just weird she doesn't know it was like I am her number one fan. Oh, that is totally true. So Stasi then is like, you know,

Stasi came with Sheena, but Stasi's loyalty is to Katie and I. So when Sheena gives this lap dance to Peter and Peter's shirtless and Sheena's like lifting her dress up and like grinding on his dick, Peter's just the best in this whole, I just love Peter and I wish Peter just had way more air time

because of what he says later on is like, why is everyone giving Shina shit? He's like, I want lap dances from all of these ladies. Yeah. Like everyone shut the hell up. This is my birthday. Yeah. He was sweet and and Shay clearly didn't care. He was like, this is my wife. This is this is what wasn't even his wife yet. Well, it's girlfriend. But then I looked it. So we all it's like me Katie Shina. I'm sorry me Katie Stasi in Christina Kelly. We all go out to this little parking lot. Did they like put that table out there so awkwardly?

Like there's this weird nightclub table in a parking lot. I don't know. It was just kind of sat right by the door. That's right, so I didn't notice that. It's just weird, should I look at? So we're at this table, ew, I'm smoking cigarettes again, ew. And Shina is like, Katie, when she has shots, she's just fucking evil.

Katie's being an asshole to Shina. I'm being an asshole to Shina. Stasi's being totally quiet. And Katie's like pressuring Stasi. And you know what, Shina's right. Like Katie is Stasi's best friend. And I did say that she was single white female for Stasi back in the day.

You did say that and then the mean girl comment, I just found, it was something along the lines of like, why are you sitting with us? It wasn't that, but it was something like, why are you like, yeah, I said, why are you sitting with us? And like, and she goes,

we're not friends. And she goes, well, Kristen, wait, we're not friends, Kristen. And I was like, we've never been friends. We are, we're not friends. I don't know. That's the voice. It was kind of like this. It was just like sing-songy.

Someone just take me out back, put me where I belong. And so the whole time, it's just like a giant mess of me and Katie being shit-faced and kind of giving Shina a lot of shit. And Stasi is being dead quiet, not intervening at all because she's like, Katie's wasted it. And honestly, I don't want her to like, start being a bitch to me.

Yeah, because she'll turn on me. Yeah, at some point. And then Schwartz apologizes to Sheena on behalf of Katie and I. And Sheena ends up leaving with Shay and she says to Shay that her life is better without us. And when she said that, I kind of went, yeah, I agree with her. In my feet, yeah. In hindsight, looking at the way we were acting, I was like, yeah, she's in that moment. I totally fucking agree with her.

Yeah. Why would you want to be friends with someone? Feel back to Azusa. It might be better. I know. Yeah, just a lot better. I love Shina. I'm just joking.

No, I'm saying I defend Shina in this moment. Yeah. And it was funny because Shay, obviously, always hated filming and stuff, but he had one line there that was something like, he came to stick up for Sheena and Katie just swallowed him. Katie was like, Shay, what are you even talking about? Why aren't you even speaking?

And he's like, fucking shit, this is what I get. See, but then Katie has highs in those in this because then I feel really bad for her. Coming up, coming up because she seems really sad. We're almost there, we're almost there. So now we have Jack's back at therapy. And the Interpop rules really is a, you know, it's a great show.

So I tell you. To Wild Ride. But he's back at therapy with the chick that I hope had her license revoked that Rachel and I discussed earlier, which I discussed in season one recap. And my one question is this. So we do say, we, as we've mentioned this,

but Jack's being very honest, he's being very transparent, like that he lied last time they had met up. This is what's really been going on with him. My question is, why the fuck is this therapist finishing his sentences before he has an opportunity? Yeah, that's not good. She's just looking at him like she wants to take him in her office and have sex with him.

Like she wants to like blow him. It's really important. Yeah, she was very like forgiving of him, but also yeah, like kind of like leading, like finishing the sentences or whatever. But I did think it was very poignant and interesting that he said something along the lines of, I've started just fabricating things.

It wasn't just like I lied about cheating. He basically was kind of admitting to the fact that he likes or not likes to, but tends to at that time tell tales, like for reasons that no one could really understand. Yeah, that he didn't really understand. Yeah, he did understand. Yeah, and I actually felt like he was being genuine

on his day, like he was, I felt like he was kind of concerned with himself. Like, why am I doing this? Yeah, like he was like, I don't have anything to lose at this point, so like I want to just like tell it how it is. Yeah, I kind of felt bad for him. I do too.

And I was very also like proud of him. Yeah, yeah. Like good for you, dude. Yeah. Jacks, you get a round of applause from us. Yeah. You're a good kid. Good kid.

So now we are at the end of the episode, which is the big giant like terrible like gates of hell opening for the rest of the season. We're having a yard sale, which I remember. I don't know if they said this, but it was to make money for Mexico. Okay, so it was for every case sale essentially. Yeah, but that's like what we were supposed to be doing. Yeah, I'm absolutely terrified of this scene. I didn't know it was coming.

I either did I until I saw it. You're lucky I watched it right before we were gonna record. Yeah. So I was like, oh, all right. So this scene, if you guys know it, you know what I'm talking about. If you have never watched it, I apologize in advance. And this is not gonna be a good season for me.

I have changed. She has changed. Yes. She's always been a wonderful person. People make mistakes. So let it go. It's me, Sossi and Christina Kelly. And we are discussing Sossi and I were telling Christina

about Sheena's birthday the night before and what happened after the cameras had wrapped, which was Katie got really upset. Sossi and I threw water at us. I remember Katie came up to my apartment and had taken my car keys and like threw them into a bush and was just like out of her mind. However, she had a lot of good reasoning

to I think feel all the feelings that she was feeling because she then told Stasi that, quote unquote, Christian and Jack's fucked in January, I think is what was said. And when Stasi says this out loud to Christian and Kelly, I'm like, yeah, anyway, and guess what else she did? I immediately deflect and say, she also text Tom and said that, like, oh, I know you and Ariana hooked up. I'm just trying to get away from-

Did that actually happen? Yes. So that text actually happened. Absolutely. But I'm just, you can, I see how it's so physical and comfortable you guys. This is what I did with you. You are clearly deflecting.

I am deflecting. I'm lying. I am trying to like, not bring any attention to this, I'm trying to just just make it go away. Look away, look away. Right. And so then Katie comes and you know, basically says like this was a terrible rumor to repeat.

It was something I had heard a long time ago. I always just sat on it. I don't know why it came out. I have a question. Sure. Okay. In real life. Where did Katie hear that rumor from? on it, I don't know why it came out. I have a question. Sure. Okay. In real life, where did Katie hear that rumor from?

From Katie Waisel. Oh, oh, the British girl. Oh, okay, got it. Apparently, from what I remember 10 years ago, it was that Jack's told Katie Waisel, Katie Waisel told Katie Meloney. And then Katie Meloney just and Katie Waisel both sat on it. Neither of them ever told me that they had been heard about it. So when she said a terrible rumor,

because my second question was going to be, did you somehow intercept her? Did you like, you guys walk off camera at some point and you're like, don't fucking say that. No, no, no, no. It was just cheap felt bad about it because she was like, I don't even know if this is true. Correct.

Okay. And I had never heard or known that anybody had ever spoken about it because she was like, I don't even know if this is true. Correct. Okay. And I had never heard or known that anybody had ever spoken about it. Okay. Because it was so long ago and I figured it was just like gone to the wind, like bye. How many, so it was like six months later? I don't, I honestly don't remember when I was.

So it happened in January, like six months later. I don't know if it happened in January. I don't remember when it happened. Oh. I know that it happened. We didn't want to go down that dark hole because we're going to keep going down it for the rest of this season, guys.

Yeah. Anyway, I lie, I deflect. This is where the episode ends. And essentially more to come is Stasi just saying, like, if I fucking find out this is true, I'm going to kill Kristen. And that's where we are. That's where we are.

Hey, Kristen is a changed person. Also, she wasn't a bad person back then. I'm just listen I got to be really I'm your PR I'm your best friend hearing about anyone else's feelings at that time. You were young Young drunk it alone. That's a it's a post Malone lyrics. It's a great new song We all did stupid shit back then. I mean, so that's where we're at on the fucking recap, guys. I did it. I said it.

This is where we are. Be kind, be gentle. Please be gentle. Please be gentle. And we will talk to you next week on Sex Love and What Else Matters and every Friday for a VPR from the start. So talk to you next week. Have a great weekend.

Love you, mean it. Bye. Make sure to follow us on social media. You can follow me on all platforms at Kristen Doating it. Bye. See you next week.