Sex With Emily - Astrological Desire Styles: Talking Pleasure with The AstroTwins
Episode Date: September 6, 2024In this episode, Dr. Emily welcomes her friend and fellow Michigan native, Ophira from The AstroTwins, to discuss their new book, The Astrology Advantage, and their revolutionary I*AM system. This uni...que system or framework blends astrology with the Enneagram and Meyers Briggs to unlock insights into your personality-- your buttons, skills, passions, and life path. As a bonus, Ophi reads Emily's chart, revealing how the I*AM system shapes her career, sex, desire, and goals. They explore the Authority, Innovator, and Maven archetypes, offering a fresh perspective on understanding yourself through astrology. Tune in to learn how astrology influences desire and sexuality and how to align with your authentic sexual self. Get your copy of The Astrology Advantage to dig deeper into your I*AM archetype! Ophi describes the I*AM System as “an astrological personality test” and “Atomic Habits meets The Wisdom of The Enneagram.” You need this book! I could not put it down. Purchase: The Astrology Advantage More about The AstroTwins What You'll Learn: The I*AM System Explained: Discover how the Authority, Innovator, and Maven archetypes correlate with the 13 planets in astrology and your chart. Astrology Meets Enneagram: Learn how each IAM archetype connects with the 12 zodiac signs, offering a new lens to understand your personality, desires, and behavior. Sex, Shame, and Kink: Understand how your I*AM archetype influences your sexual expression and how to overcome shame or embrace kink through astrological insights. Body Confidence and Sexual Fulfillment: Explore how aligning with your archetype helps you feel more comfortable in your body as you pursue pleasure and intimacy. Sexual Authenticity: Learn how your sexual style—whether you're an Innovator, Authority, or Maven—affects how you engage with partners and express desire authentically. Also, SmartSx, my new membership, launches on September 10th. Please join me and this incredible community of open-minded pleasure-seekers! Here's a sneak peak of what you'll experience when you sign up: SmartSX is a community and app for individuals prioritizing pleasure and sexual well-being, helping members explore desires and create a fulfilling sex life. Great lovers are made, not born: Anyone can learn how to have the best sexual experiences of their lives. SmartSX members can directly interact with her and ask questions in the community. Inclusive membership: SmartSX caters to everyone—whether you're a beginner or experienced, single or partnered—focusing on understanding, giving, and receiving pleasure. Members will uncover their unique desire style, increase their Sex IQ, enhance sexual communication, and gain essential tools for a healthy sex life through discussions, special guests, and experts. Each month features a theme based on Dr. Emily's 12 Universal Truths About Sex and Pleasure, starting with Sexual Connection is a Skill Set. GET ON THE WAITLIST: CLICK HERE
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I asked my Sex With Emily audience their most embarrassing penis questions and one that kept
coming up was, how can I increase my ejaculation? Help by the ever-growing popularity of the money
shot in pornography, semen volume seems to be a conversation growing in popularity. So can you
really increase your load? Well, the answer is yes. You just got to get your hands on Popstar
Volume and Taste Enhancers. These supplements help build up semen and increase ejaculatory volume to
give you stronger, more intense orgasms.
Not to mention there's an added bonus of improved semen taste.
We've all heard that age old rumor, eat pineapple to taste better.
Well, this supplement actually uses the bromelain from pineapple along with zinc and al arginine
to improve your overall taste in 2-3 weeks.
This product was created by two of the country's leading men, sexual health physicians, so
you are in good hands.
This supplement is all natural, high quality, vegan, non-GMO, made from the very best ingredients. This product was created by two of the country's leading men's sexual health physicians. So you are in good hands.
The supplement is all natural, high quality, vegan,
non-GMO made from the very best ingredients
and scientifically proven to work.
Plus I got you a code so you can check it out.
Save 20% with code EMILY at popstarlabs.com slash Emily.
That's code EMILY at P-O-P-S-T-A-R-L-A-B-S.com slash Emily.
So check it out and let me know how it goes.
One of the most common questions I receive
from my listeners with a penis is,
how can I last longer in bed?
Whether it's due to premature ejaculation
or maybe just wanting to enjoy sexual activity for longer,
it is a very common question.
But don't worry, I come with solutions.
In addition to recommending Kegel exercises, yes, penis owners can do a Kegel exercise and the stop-start method,
I always recommend a delay spray such as Promessent. See, nerve signals are what trigger
orgasms and Promessent uses lidocaine to relax those nerve cells giving you complete control over your climax.
But don't worry, you still feel everything. In just five to ten minutes from application,
But don't worry, you still feel everything. In just 5 to 10 minutes from application, Promessin begins to work and effects last
for up to an hour.
Promessin allows you to last longer in bed and enjoy all the sensations without having
to worry about finishing early.
Plus, a certified study showed a 50% increase in both partners reaching orgasm together
when using Promessin.
Shop promessin.com slash emily for 15% off free shipping and a 60-day money back
guarantee and always discreet delivery. That's p-r-o-m-e-s-c-e-n-t.com slash emily for 15% off your order.
You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure
and liberate the conversation around sex. Today's episode is all about a topic
that's a little bit controversial, sometimes even more than sex. We're
talking about astrology. I know before you're like I don't know about
astrology. Let me tell you there was some serious wisdom and science to the
snapshot of the time that you were born. And these women have been doing it for 30 years.
Ophi and Tali, they founded AstroStyle,
Astrologers for Elle Magazine.
And these identical twins have revolutionized
the way we understand astrology.
Through their bestselling books like Love Zodiac,
Mom's Strology, their annual horoscope guides,
they've brought astrology to the millions.
And their latest book, The Astrology Advantage, introduces their I Am method.
You can learn more about them at astrostyle.com and you've got to take
their quiz right now to help you with this entire episode to discover your I
Am archetype. The Astrology Advantage unpacks their amazing system. It's a
cosmic personality test that combines astrology, Myers-Briggs, and the Enneagram. In this
episode she reads my chart using her own innovative framework to see how the
stars align with my career, my sex life, my desires, and then where I fall in their
system. And when you download, when you check out their system, you'll be able to
follow along.
We all really have a unique code
and Ophi will walk us through how to discover it.
So you can use these tools to have an incredible life
and sex life.
Please rate and review Sex with Emily,
wherever you listen to the show,
it helps get the show out to more people
and it just takes you a few seconds to do it.
You can just do it right now.
Look at your phone, look at your app
that you're listening to this on and review us.
We so appreciate it.
You can also find me on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok,
Twitter or X and Facebook, all the places.
It's all at Sex with Emily.
And check out my new articles,
How to Have Vigorous Sex the Right Way
and Does Sleeping Apart Help Your Sex Life?
Are both up on sexwithemily.com.
Before we get into the episode,
I'm so excited to announce my new membership community
coming September 10th.
It is called Smart SX.
And this is the membership that you have been waiting for
to take your sex life to the next level.
I'm gonna be there with you every step of the way,
coaching you, helping you.
You know, after 20 years of doing this one-way conversation
with you, I want to work with you together
and bring in some leading experts
and help you build a community.
These are your people that are gonna help you have the sex life and the
relationships that you've been craving. Check it out on my website,
SexWithEmily.com and click the membership tab. Alright everyone, enjoy this episode.
One of my biggest missions as a sex educator is to make sex less taboo and I
believe that talking about sex should be as casual and easy
as asking what's for dinner. One of the best ways to do this is by talking about it with trusted
friends or loved ones to compare experiences, get advice, even laugh about it because, you know,
sex is funny. It is important to find a community to talk about sex with and that's why I'm so
excited to create the Smart SX membership program. This membership
will be an open forum to invite conversation between different curious and open-minded
individuals across the world. And every week there's going to be questions to contribute to.
You can share your own experiences while commenting on others and overall just have a deeper feeling
that you're not alone. Listen, we're all in this together and we're all just trying to have the most pleasurable sex and relationships as we possibly can.
In addition to this welcoming community, the membership will include live coaching sessions,
exclusive access to the best experts in the business, weekly polls and quizzes, and just
so much more. So please join me in being a founding member of Smart SX. Head over to
SexWithEmily.com slash membership to join the membership waitlist Head over to sexwithemily.com slash membership
to join the membership wait list.
That's sexwithemily.com slash membership
or just text the word SX.
That's the letter S and the letter X to 323-309-4757.
And I'll send you updates via text.
We're starting a pleasure revolution and you're invited.
See you there.
Thank you for doing this.
And it was so nice to meet you in person.
Oh my God.
We had that instant connection.
We both went to university at Michigan,
grew up blocks away, miles away from each other.
Very few miles.
I know, right?
Very few miles.
And when you mentioned the astrology advantage,
you had me hooked at lunch.
I'm very lucky that I got like a sneak peek
into the book and the philosophy of it.
And it made me think, we love,
we all love different modes to understand ourselves, right?
We're obsessed with personality tests and like the Enneagram
and Myers-Briggs and Clifton Strains with A Friend Just Had Me Take. And so what I love is that you
make astrology so easy to understand. And so I appreciate that. I think even by reading your book,
The Astrology Advantage and your new system, which we're going to get into the IM system. I love that you call it your personal instruction manual because I'm always
telling people you need to have owner's manual for our body so we know what we
like, and I'm always getting people do that.
But this instruction manual for your life that's just laid out in the cosmos.
Just I love it.
Using astrology as an instruction manual for our life.
So I love all of that.
I'm gonna admit that I was very skeptical
about astrology for a long time.
Can you just give us a quick,
why this isn't just some fluffy woo woo thing?
So basically the birth chart is a snapshot
of the sky overhead at your time of birth.
So it's like if you looked up, took a freeze frame of the planets as they were arranged
overhead with you, then you would see, oh, okay, it forms a pattern.
And that tells you your strengths, your challenges, much like a personality test does, but mapped
to the sky. It sounds crazy, but when my college boyfriend,
also back at U of M, did this for me,
he got me this 30 page report.
And I was like, this is undeniably true about me.
So I guess we come with a cosmic code that we don't know about.
Right.
That's it.
It's a cosmic code.
And we want everyone to know about it,
so we can help them with a lot of areas that they're struggling, whether it's work, place, love, just relationship dynamics with everyone, your family, right?
Absolutely.
Maybe you could just first start out by explaining to us this new, the IAM system? Well, the IAM system is like the short code for astrology.
So, you know, a lot of people nowadays
have done their astrology charts already.
They've, you know, used apps or whatever,
and they're like, oh, that's interesting.
And now I've promptly forgotten everything
that I've just read or learned.
So, we, you know, my sister and I have been like working
with entrepreneurs and high performing people
and they just don't have the hard drive space
in their brain.
They don't have time to remember an entire new
hieroglyphic vocabulary in astrology.
So we worked with something called the chart dominance in the chart where it takes
like your whole birth chart and crunches it into one of three archetypes, innovator, authority,
and maven. And from there you can determine like what your mode and way of working with life is. So let's get into these three archetypes
that we break it down into in this book, in I Am.
Yeah, so a lot of people have heard about the elements,
the fire, earth, air, and water signs.
That's one way that the zodiac,
the 12 zodiac signs are subgrouped.
But there's another way
that are called the qualities or modalities.
And that's what we tapped into, because those are kind of the behavior triggers and psychological
drivers and motivations and the impact like, you know, a lot of people use astrology, when
will I find love or when will that but it's not only about that. It's also like what is under the hood of you that makes you respond to things the way you do?
And what do you need to feel this equilibrium in the world in a relationship, in the bedroom,
in life forever, in your body? So that's what you can find in the qualities and modalities.
They have astro-jargony names that we've redefined. So it's called cardinal, fixed, and mutalities, they have astro-jargony names that we've redefined.
So it's called cardinal, fixed, and mutable,
but the cardinal signs are the four signs
that start every season, Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn.
And we've renamed those the innovators
because they're the starters, the trailblazers,
and the pioneers who are always kind of ahead of the curve.
And then there are the authorities or the fixed signs, Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius,
and they're in the middle of the season.
So they kind of take what the innovators start and fashion it into something that the producers,
the project managers, the experts, the ones who, you know, put in those 10,000
hours to master something.
And then there are the mavens who are the communicators and the marketers.
Those are the four mutable signs, Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces.
And they are the finishers of the season.
So they polish everything up and serve it up to the people.
How do we use this to either find someone,
we could start with that to find someone.
Yeah.
And then what if we're with somebody
that isn't compatible?
Like, is there some signs that,
or some of these that shouldn't be together?
No, I think everyone can be together.
I believe that any two people,
if they love each other, can make it work.
I'm with you.
Yeah. But you need to kind of know the person's operating system.
Like you cannot install Mac software on an Android platform or a Windows platform without
a little extra, at least, you know, little IT support there.
So you got to know who you're dealing with.
You got to know what you're dealing with. You got to know what
you're signing up for. And then I would I guess it's just true no matter what preferences come in.
Like you got to be like, are you willing to meet me halfway? You know, if you're a maven and you're
extra talky or flirty and I'm an authority and I see your flirting with other people as a
signal disrespect instead of something that you actually gonna bring home to
the boudoir and you know we're gonna both enjoy the bounty of that. This is a
helpful negotiation tool. It's a framework to give you something to start
from. I have been joking that I think, you know, like we have 70 plus pronouns
for gender. Why don't we have those for relationships too? I mean, maybe we do, but not enough.
Not enough. And innovators are like we have a secondary name. Innovators are the idealists.
Sometimes I call them the independents too. Authorities, the attachers, and mavens, the mirrors.
Innovators should not always live with their partners, but we have like, well, you've now
reached this point on the linear timeline, you should move in together and get met.
And the minute an innovator does that, like that sexy mystery, innovators are all about discovery.
So when you kill the discovery channel, which is like when someone's a little bit mysterious or a whole lot, it like it can really kill the attraction.
But there is no real cultural space for innovators to be like, I wanna have a companion but not live with them ever,
or have a third space that we share
or something like that.
What about the authority you call the attacher?
Yeah, so they do want that kind of secure attachment
at a certain point,
because they get exhausted by too many changes.
Even if you are in a living apart together as an authority,
it's like
That's just what you're doing authorities are more literal
loyal, they're like
Innovators are about the future authorities the past they want to build a legacy
They want you know, even if you do it your own way
it's still like these are the agreements and the rules and the expectations and the ground rules and the boundaries.
And so everything is more defined for authorities.
And that's what allows you to relax
and be more free and open.
What about the mavens?
The mavens are just talk, talk, talk,
all about communication.
Like, you know, they wanna talk about
what they're gonna do,
what they're doing while they're doing it,
what you just did when you finished doing it.
Mirrors.
They're just like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And you know, you gotta be into that and touch and explore and experiment.
Mavens rule the present.
They're touchy, they're exploratory, they're curious, they're everything.
How do they pursue their sex life?
So you get, you know, you get this one size fits all advice for like,
well, you need to talk in the bed, you know, like, and you know,
that some people like that, some people don't.
Are there any signs that are more kinkier or explorative or experimental?
I would say like, how would an innovator be kinky?
How would an authority and how would it be, you know, the innovator would just like,
it would just probably just happen like,
oh, I never thought I was gonna do that.
And all of a sudden I'm having a threesome, you know?
And then a maven would be like, have some elaborate,
I always wanted to try kind of this.
An authority that would be like an entire historical period
costume, like elaborate scene
that would be planned probably for them
Okay, how do you know which areas to lean into and which ones to pull back on if it's all evenly split?
Well, I think I think for you and for the the people that have a more even split like you get
You can play in the different one
You can be like which one do I want to lean into now?
Like I think you should always know like at the end of the day you are an authority you can play in the different one. You can be like, which one do I wanna lean into now?
I think you should always know,
at the end of the day, you are an authority,
so you will probably, after a certain point,
wanna know where something's going, right?
Yeah.
You're not gonna wanna leave it open-ended forever.
No.
Or be with someone who's in an ambiguous,
not quite divorce sort of setup. That wouldn't be your jam for more than
like you might play with that on a vacation
as an innovator or a maven,
but when you're really looking to,
but you would probably need a person who knows
how to be traditional, but also freaky.
Couples could just take this for free tonight.
And you actually spell it out for people,
how they could work together, right?
In your book.
Absolutely.
And I think it makes it more fun.
Be like, okay, this is how we are, right?
It gives them a little bit more roadmap.
And if you don't like something or you're not,
because I think sometimes people get shamed
for not being experimental enough in some cases.
You know, that happens too.
Like, oh, I should be more.
All the time.
Mm-hmm.
Well, honestly, I wish I knew this 20 years ago
because all the time, my partner wants to be more
explorative or kinkier.
What do I do?
I get these asks every day and I should just be like,
well, you could start by figuring out your charts.
You could start by figuring out the I am method, right?
Because in a way, that's just who they are.
But so much a
relationship is like is is just doing this deeper work of compromise and understanding, you know,
maybe you're not as explorative, but sometimes you could be and they could give you what you want.
But a lot of times, just the people say, I'm just not that and I always say, okay, but if you're not
that exploring, or you're not kinky, then what are you? Right. Or maybe they just hear the word exploratory or kinky.
And a whole world of associations opens up that
That's it.
isn't even accurate.
Like it's like, you know, like,
oh, I'm supposed to change my nature and be that way.
Like, no, actually like exploring could just mean like
changing a location or something.
Like they don't even know what the options are
because we just
Full-stop shut down
Because we hear something like I'm gonna fail at that. I'm not gonna be good at that They're gonna I'm gonna beat someone's you know story over drinks with her girlfriends or guy talk
And everyone's gonna know what I was like and I'm gonna be humiliated for not, so I'm only going to play in the safe zone.
Okay, so maybe we should walk through my chart then, so through I am and see how it plays out in my chart so everyone listening can understand how they can interpret theirs.
There's 13 points in the system.
So for you, four are innovator, five are authority, and four are maven.
So you're one of the people that are a little more balanced.
When we do this extended chart where we add the elements in that we call the IM diagram,
you are the earth authority, the provider. So
in your spread of these things, you are no fire, six earth, three air, and four water.
I got to get more fire. What does that mean? So it, so fire means kind of like action oriented
and motivated. Sometimes if you have none,
you'll like actually overcompensate
and be the person that takes all the risks
and lights the match first.
But like, accidentally starts a wild fire
the minute they light a match.
So it's like, you may not have a whole lot of balance,
but if you're low or don't have any fire,
it can you probably do need a team to keep you moving ahead and burning.
Right. That's it.
That's what the team's all about.
You feel more confident doing that when you have people behind you.
The heavy earth to the your provider.
So Earth is like the material resources.
You really like security, stability,
and you have a long running show here.
Like you like to find something, become a master of it.
That's also very authority-ish.
Three, air.
So like kind of in the middle, air is spreading the message.
It's a little bit lower,
but you have a marketing director for that.
And then four, water, which is decently high,
and that makes you empathic and creative.
So I would say that you would prefer to be in a setting
where you can just, you know, take your expertise,
empathically share it with people.
You don't have to be the person running around.
Fire also likes to run around and do all the things.
Like you're like, oh, thank you. You're not the producer here of your own show.
No, I am not.
I hate that. Terrible job for me.
Terrible job. But if you sit down and just tune in, you start to channel and really connect with
people. So you're doing everything as you should. And then in the I am, you're for innovator,
five authority and four maven.
So your highest authority,
meaning that you're, if you had to draw a straw
between like starting a whole new venture,
which would be innovator, marketing the venture,
which would be maven or being the expert
and having everybody else do that other stuff that's authority
you would take being the expert. So does that track for you?
That does track for me. That took me a long time in my career to get here. You know, I'm
heading into my 20th year of doing this podcast and you know, at the beginning of any startup,
exactly. But at any, you know, it took me a long time of doing everything and thinking
I should be able to do it all. But it's not until I really realized that I could have a team that
supports me in really every other area. So I could be the best authority that I could be and help
people. That's really what I love doing, empathically sharing, connecting to people. And everything else
is just not my jam as much. So that completely resonates.
You are, yeah.
And imagine if you had had this calculator
in that 20 year journey
and you realize that about yourself sooner.
So that's my real goal.
That's what I was gonna say, which I had 20 years ago.
This will really give people, yeah, permission
probably to lean into what they already know
or what have you seen?
Absolutely, permission.
And like people are really carrying around a lot of shame and feeling like, you
know, they're hiding like, oh God, I am like we joke about the Maven mess.
Mavens have piles of things, but they have a method to their madness.
But they're shamed for not having the perfect, you know, wicker basket system, a la Martha Stewart living
in the early aughts or whatever. Like we, we still have these standards that people
are quietly expected to live up, whether we impose it on ourselves or just, it's just
what we see. And people don't operate that way. They don't fit into these little boxes,
but there's a part of us that thinks that we're supposed to. So when
you do this and you get that cosmic permission to be who you are, again, it doesn't mean you're like,
well, maybe it's not like, well, I'm a maven. I'm just going to make bigger messes. You're going to
be like, okay, that is a tendency. I'm going to take the shame out of it and maybe find a way of
not being as messy because it's not serving my highest goals.
That's a different place to come.
Yeah, it is, but I love the shame part of it
because I have to say why this gives me such a sigh of relief
is that I have held a lot of shame around not being able
to do things that seemingly should be easy for me,
like the organization, the planning.
I think again, it's a sigh of relief to say,
okay, this is like, well, I can't really change this, right? You can't, this is,
You can change it in a way that you can change it over time through learning, but not like changing your wiring.
Like, and also like there are better questions you can ask yourself besides, can I change this? For example, like,
why am I procrastinating? You know, getting curious. I'm an innovator,
so I'm always thinking about these kinds of things. Like, well, why would an authority
procrastinate? Authorities really do best when they stay in the lane they're in. Like,
it doesn't mean you can't drive in multiple lanes, but you're not a lane crosser when
you're doing something. So you're probably, what's underneath the procrastination is like, you don't feel prepared.
You don't give enough research or data
because authorities, the credibility is everything
in order to maintain the role.
A maven might procrastinate
because they need to talk about it.
Mavens are very interactive
and they need like a brainstorming session.
So like, instead of like fighting what's happening within you, go like, and they need like a brainstorming session.
So like, instead of like fighting what's happening
within you go like, ah, why?
This is make it right instead of making it wrong.
And then you have these tools to use.
So much of life is about how do you improve yourself?
How do you work on your weaknesses
to turn them into strengths?
And this is more like, this is who you are.
This is your cosmic roadmap. This is your cosmic roadmap.
This is your personality.
Really go towards your strengths.
Would you say that's your philosophy?
Absolutely know your strengths and always have them.
But sometimes like, for example,
you're eight maven marketing director, right?
Like sometimes that's too much of a good thing.
So we in the book have a part
that we jokingly call
astro Ayurveda where it's like balance out. If you know that you're really high,
you're really low, you might consciously then add what you don't have. Or okay,
if you're really high maven, you might be really full on, everything is the biggest
deal, the most epic thing ever. And then you're like, all right, not everybody can really gel with that.
So it might be one of those things where like,
maybe I need to dial that down for that person
who's super high authority.
I also love that you started the,
that you talked about the shame thing
because we are launching this, this membership
and it's a membership for people to, it's a community
of people to come and talk about what's holding them back sexually, how to communicate about
their needs and how to really, like I said, build their own sexual dating owner's manual.
It's called Smart SX and I know you're also going to be doing some stuff for that today, but I just love this
because this is like another tool.
And then there's like a community aspect where people are going to actually find a community
of people that can help them and safety because it helps with the shame, right?
Like the antidote to shame is like speaking your truth, right?
I want to ask also, what about the gender differences with the IM system?
Do certain genders experience it differently?
Does that matter?
I think that it's all a spectrum and continuous.
I certainly don't need to tell you that, but I think that the things we've learned or inherited
learning from gender roles and cultural ones will intersect with this.
You know, like a male authority might express authority-ness in, you know, in the way that a
male conditioning would have them. If they're not conscious about, yeah, if they're not conscious
that they're doing that, they might be like, well, I know better, you know? Like if I want to get a little personal here, which I might, I had my, I had my partner ish,
sort of an ex, but we're still share some things together.
We're figuring it out, but I am an authority as we know.
And my ex is an authority
And I can't remember what else we found. Okay, so
this special friend of yours is
Only has one water planet, which is one of the ones you're high in
He has five air which is one of the ones you're low in and he's two six five. So he's also low.
He's lower on innovator, higher on Maven and he's, he's an authority, but he's pretty close authority
in Maven. But low on water is like not as empathic, maybe thin skinned and oversensitive at times and insensitive at other times.
Or just like, you know, the water,
you're just maybe not ever fully emotionally gelling, right?
Yeah.
And yet you're both authority.
So it's like the bird in the hand or the devil, you know,
is sometimes a good one to hook up with.
What are some great case studies that you could tell me about about how companies or
relationships have shifted? Maybe relationships if you work with couples. What are some ways you
couples use this information to really re-integrate their relationship?
Well what's happening with couples these days is just that both partners usually have very full lives, schedules, existing communities.
They maybe have kids from other people. They're just, you know, they are these, it's not like one
plus one equals two anymore. It's one plus one equals three or zero. So it's like if you're not thinking, if you're not making each other's lives amplified
and better, then it's almost like, why am I doing this? So like relationships I say
are going through a giant iOS update right now and their function and purpose is unclear.
It's certainly not what it was back in the day. We needed each other for
survival, Maureen. I believe we're in the age of Aquarius, which is about choice, not
like survival. So it's harder to find, just like we expect everything customized to us. Unfortunately, we're expecting other people to
customize themselves to our preferences and we forget that it's not Grubhub,
it's another person.
I wish it was Grubhub. I wish we could just order it up.
I wish. I know.
But that's a great point what you're saying because I've run into that too in
my own relationships that I've said one plus one has to equal three these days we have to be compatible in
work life play we got all we bring stuff to the table to amplify we had a reality
dating show on Amazon Prime called Cosmic Love a couple of years ago and we
had a cast of 20 people, four main characters
that each had four matches,
and we had to match them up astrologically.
And one of the weeks we did the composite chart,
and that was the week that blew a lot of their minds
because they were so like, I'm an Aquarius,
she's a Libra, blah, blah, blah, are we?
But then it's like, well, this is what you come together as.
And it really shifted people out together. We're a Taurus. We are here to do this. I think it gives
people see, we almost need an art if I don't want to call it artificial, but a self generated focus.
Like we used to come together back in the day for a family, for legacy, for this. There was a reason that people put up
with the hell of other people, right, sometimes,
for a common goal.
So when you do the composite chart,
you get that common goal.
Oh, we're here to build this.
It's really inspiring.
I could see that being very inspiring for people
and sort of a reminder of why they came together
in the first place.
Yeah, because it's so easy to forget now. Yeah, it's like a business plan or a cosmic plan for
your relationship. But what do you see in astrology right now as the future of marriage
and partnership according to astrology? I love that question. What's going on?
We have to realize it's not what it was anymore. I mean, there's what, a 70% of work?
Like we have to realize that there are higher odds
in our favor of so many other things than marriage.
It's like, we have to look at it as a choice
and have to also understand that we are evolving so quickly.
Our consciousnesses, our preferences, our society, like to think
that you're going to be able to stay in sync with someone when your life, like you can
be a new person when you wake up tomorrow and reinvent yourself. So we have to understand
that we're not playing on the same ball field here anymore, but people do need each other
and we have to just be willing to try new
tools. What we're looking for is still sort of based in the past paradigm. But now we're seeing
that we really need more. And so are different things, different kinds of partners. Some people
are looking for that. A lot of them are sororities or mavens that want to compete. But even the ones that are, it's like wanting it
and keeping it going are still two worlds apart.
So what your work can do is really help people keep it.
If the honeymoon is going to end
and it's going to end a lot faster than you think.
We all have choices.
And we can all make it work for us
if we give ourselves permission
to actually do the work and explore what kind of relationship we want.
I'm always saying it's not one size fits all.
That's a lot of what our membership is about as well.
Our Smart of Sex membership will be a lot about giving people permission to explore
and figure out what kind of relationship they want, what kind of sex life they want.
Because a lot of times we don't feel like we have permission,
right?
We don't even know what's available.
People don't even know that such a roadmap could exist
or is possible for them.
Like, whoa, I have these choices.
They're so afraid of sex.
We're afraid of astrology or spirit,
any deeper exploration beyond just like the face
they show the world.
That it's like, you're just like denying yourself all these options.
So true.
I was thinking about how astrology and sex are so taboo in many ways and very misunderstood,
but yet they can really deepen the richness of our lives so much.
We really understand it, right?
I was thinking that when I was reading your book, I was like, oh, I'm always spending a lot of time
trying to tell people initially too, like, no,
sex can be, it's not just what you think.
It's not just penetration, it's connections, intimacy.
Hear me out.
Like, it could be different than what you thought.
Sun signs, penetration, yes.
All the things, there's just so much more to it.
And I just want people to, yeah, feel safe
and know we can explore and life can get a lot, lot better from here for sure. Oh my God, I love that so much more to it. And I just want people to feel safe and know we can explore and life can get a lot better from here for sure. Oh my god, I love that so much. I love that all of your work and
all of your dozens of books. How many have you written now? 21, going on 22. Oh my god. Well,
congratulations on all this. I just love the work that you and your sister are doing. You have so
much wisdom and you really are doing such an incredible service,
whether people are looking for a partner to increase their productivity or have more love in their life, less conflict.
So everybody has to get your book.
It's out now, The Astrology Advantage, and you can follow the astrotrends to discover your inner innovator or authority or Maven.
And hear them on our membership too, Smart SX.
We're doing a special session with you
and that's gonna be, the membership comes out
on September 10th, right when this is released.
Perfect.
Now, anything else we can know about you
or where to follow you?
Yeah, follow us on Instagram at AstroTwins.
Come do your IAM archetype at astrostyle.com slash I am.
Get the book, read all about it,
but come and share which one you are.
Thank you for being here.
So appreciate you, Elvie.
Thank you.
That's it for today's episode.
Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily
and be sure to like, subscribe,
and give us a review wherever you listen to the podcast and share this with a friend or a partner.
You can find me on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter, or X, and Facebook. It's all at
Sex with Emily. Oh, and I've been told I give really good email. So sign up on SexwithEmily.com
and while you're there, check out my free guides and articles for more ways to prioritize your
pleasure. And if you'd like to ask me about your sex life, dating, or relationships, call my hotline
559-TALK-SEX.
That's 559-825-5739 or just go to SexWithEmily.com slash Ask Emily.
Was it good for you?
Email me, feedback at SexWithEmily.com.