Sex With Emily - Best Of: Emily’s First Sex Party

Episode Date: March 20, 2018

Emily’s throwing it back to a podcast of her live radio show in 2008. She talks about her first sex party experience along with her guide for the evening, “Captain Erotica”. They discuss sex party etiquette, why attitude and partner pairing is key, what to expect, how to overcome nervousness, and why sex parties are erotic-positive and how they actually promote more intimacy in today’s culture and society. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Hello, you're listening to sex with Emily. So like I said, it's Saturday night in San Francisco, April 15th. Did you all do your taxes? Hopefully you're not stuck at home finishing your taxes. But if you are, we promise we will keep you entertained. And when is it gonna stop raining?

Captain Ratico, was it raining when you got here? No, actually it was nice and dry. But we're making a little more moist around here. I'm sure. More moist. It's going to get wet. It's going to get hot around here. But like I, okay, so like I've said on the show, this is what we're going to talk about right now. Sex with the same person gets boring. It just does. After a few months of like the hot sex with someone, maybe a few months of the hot sex, with someone maybe a few months or a few years if you're lucky, you kind of struggled to keep it interesting, right?

Yes, it's true. Like everyone else, we all do. So this is why my guests on the show are often doing something that's just a little bit different and hopefully inspire you to break out of that. Like I only have sex in missionary position, right? And, because I, you know, when, okay, here's the thing, we all have these, like, we do a lot of things

in life that we try to change, right? We might go and die, so get a new job, a new haircut, but when do we ever update our sexual bag of tricks? When do we give it a makeover? When do you learn something new? So I try to practice what I preach on sex with Emily. And Captain Erotica asked me to my first sex party. So I said yes, right? But like you people listening perhaps I thought kind of crazy. It's

gonna be a crazy word orgy with strange dudes hitting on me. But it was kind of fun. We had a really good time. We're gonna talk about that my first sex party experience. It's kind of like a lavish cocktail party with like beautiful people everywhere, but you know, some are kind of like having sex in the corner and stuff, which is not like normal parties, but so it's a little different. And I also got invited back to my first sex party after to the next party they had, so that was fun. And he's also good.

So we're going to talk about right now. Are you interested in going to sex parties? What do you want to know about them? You want to get invited? I'm not the same about sex parties. Do you want to go? Because I know I thought it'd be crazy weird too, but it wasn't.

It was really hot and fun. So that's what we're talking about tonight, erratic coaching, sex fantasies, and sex parties. And you can also check out, so we're sex with Emily and we're podcasts as well and you can also check it out, sexwithemily.com. Captain Erotic has been in our show a few times, who we can swear and say stuff that we can't say right now.

So you can listen to those. So hi Captain Erotic. Hi Emily. Thanks for joining us tonight. Oh, it's so nice to be back. It's an honor to be here live on the radio. I know. This is fun, right?

We are live. Usually we edit things around, right? On our podcast, but this is live. So, okay, I know of your super special powers, but if people are listening like, what's this, erotic, erotic, here? What is this? What does it mean to be an erotic superhero? Well, I think that any human being

has the capacity to be a superhero, and it's a matter of focusing on what your passions and your skills are. And I happen to be very passionate and skilled at the erotic arts as I like to call them. I think that there should be erotic arts departments at universities because frankly, it's very important to all of us and yet it's very understudied in a lot of ways. So if you look at our culture, there's heroes and heroines of all different kinds, but there's not too many sexual or erotic ones. I think you're one of them. Here you are having your own show, helping people have better sex lives.

You're super heroine in my opinion. Ah, thank you. But anyway, for myself, what it means is I go about in the world, both in my private and professional life, helping people have better sex lives, helping them fulfill their fantasies, helping them actualize what I call their erotic self. And sometimes I do that through my erotic coaching practice and other times I do it through something called the erotic ice bar, which is an interactive sensual beverage experience. When I say that, I've heard of Rad about that. We didn't have one at our sex party.

No, we didn't. But this is the thing. So I had heard we got introduced a while back and he was on the show and I'm thinking, okay, Captain Erotica, what does mean? And then you go to his website, there's all these men and women, but amazingly hot women who are like, okay, I had to print out some of your testimonials. These are people who like he's really saved their lives. I'm talking about saving the world when orgasm and time, you're doing it. You're saving the world. You're saving it. These women are like, okay, here's a few quotes.

Captain Arradica changed my life, not by an any act or sensation, but by opening my mind to the multi-universe of infinite possibilities. That's one. And then this is the one I like. He is completely desirable. How does lava? He's giving me the best sex of my life. He's a kinky messiah, a spiritual superhero. Okay, so that's Captain Rantica and it's true. I've seen him in action. So we're going to talk about sex parties. What are you? This is where we're starting. What do you want to know about sex parties? Have you been to a sex party? Do you want to know how to get invited to one? We're going to talk about it and we're taking your questions here and I'm going to only

hear your stories about sex parties because they're all over San Francisco in the Bay Area. So my dear captain, what is a sex party? Well, I think of a sex party as a party that you're going to go to where you're fairly guaranteed that some people, maybe not you, but some people present, will be having sex. Now, that's different than a sens central party or essentially themed party where people might dress in lingerie and be sexy or there might be some dance polls or whatever. But at a sex party, it's just what it's saying. You're going to go there and there is an intention of the group that people will be having sex

with each other. It doesn't mean every person there is going to have sex as you saw at our party that went to. But it means that people can have sex and it's is going to have sex as you saw at our party. Right. But it means that people can have sex and it's not going to be surprising. In fact, it's really welcomed. And there's a lot of... So, why do you think it's important for people to... Like, why do you think people before trying to expand their sexual universe here like we're doing?

Why watch someone go to sex party? Well, there's a lot of different motivations for people to go to sex parties. You know you have your lawyers, people who want to watch other people have sex, and your exhibitionist, people who want to sex parties. You know you have your voyirs, people who want to watch other people have sex, and your exhibitionist, people who want to be watched. And then there's just a sort of, I don't know, expansion of the whole experience because you get to see how other people are behaving with each other in a sexual context in a way that's not pornography or... Right, it's like safe. It's safe because I was saying when I started, it was like, I thought there's gonna be some weird creepy like things that I could be uncomfortable

and it was really like cozy and warm and beautiful. It's important at any event like that, that the energy that's created by the space and whoever the people that are putting it on, how they decorate and who they invite to the party kind of sets a tone for the party. So there's a whole range of them from something that's a little bit more tauty and kind of low budget where people are just going, okay, there are some

mattresses and go and have some fun up through something that's a little bit more elaborate and high-end and intentional. That's what I like. See, I like the sex party that we went to. So like I was saying, I went to my first one and he said, I'm like, you gotta go to sex party. Do you want to come to this one with me? And I liked that it was sort of this exclusive, highly cultivated list that they, uh, yeah. It's, uh, the one that we went to is a long time ongoing party and the people have worked really hard to get a good group of people together. And it's not the same group of people. Yes, they're definitely hot. Of course, as we want to remind our listeners, it's in the eye of the beholder and, true, I know, I'm sure.

Pleasures can happen with your eyes closed. But in this case, it is definitely a really, really hot group of people at least as far as are aesthetic. And it's done in a gorgeous house. And the people have really, like I said, worked hard to create a list of people who they know are going to be in alignment with what they want to have happening at the party, which is what happens at the party. Well, what happens at the party is like as in the beginning any normal party, there's sort of the meet and greet mix and mingle. Some parties allow alcohol like the one we went to, some parties don't at all.

But there's a period where people are just hanging out, you wouldn't know it was a sex party in the first hour, right? That's the thing, right? Over and after two hours or whatever. And then the way I like to look at it is that the exhibition is in the bunch or sort of the veterans who have maybe been coming to that event for a while, kind of get the ball rolling after a couple of hours. Some parties actually have it where there isn't any sex until a certain time and then after

that they're like, ring a bell or something? Yeah, ring a bell or off and... Sex, everyone checks it because... Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sick. But oftentimes they all even have to just a circle where everyone comes together and kind of sits down and the person who's in charge will put something out that says, you know, please treat each other respectfully, don't touch anybody without asking. Just a few basic guidelines.

But this they sent in an email for us beforehand. Yeah, this is very elaborate in the way that they prepare people for it. So it's a... It was elaborate. Yeah, and I was nervous I was, because I've never been to a sex party. And I was like, at this email, like, you know, you have to do this. You have to make sure you come. You have to be in a couple with the one that we went to, or you have to be in good standing. And like, if you're in a relationship, you have to do this you have to make sure you come you have to be in a couple with the one that we went to or you have to be in good standing and

Like if you're in a relationship you have to be in vice at how all sex parties are telling me this no No, not at all This was just a note that these people have observed over time because they've been doing this for years that if you go to a sex party You know, let's say you signed up for it six months ago and then like two days before you have an argument with your partner and things are kind of on the Out well if you go to that party your energy might radiate outward and you don't want to have anybody having a fight at that party. So they just try to encourage people, you know, come to the party in a really good place. Yeah, I love the Q&A.

It was like, it was like frequently asked questions. My partner and I are getting along. We thought we'd go to a sex party, just buy it up. And they're like, no, no, no, you cannot. No, it's a sex party. But it, so we want to, okay, so the sex party. So we, there's a theme, our party was themed. It was like enchanted forest.

It was Peter Pan. Peter Pan, right. So there was the boys just sort of pirate like, and the ladies just kind of fairy like, and it was fun. It gave people sort of something to kind of tack on for their costume, you know, instead of just saying, I'll wear lingerie, they could have a little bit of a sense of fun. Yeah, because every party in the city is like, oh, I'll wear lingerie, they could have a little bit of a sense of that. Yeah, because every part in the city is like, ah, look how much they're lingerie, this is

different. And it was really fun because this took place at a place that has a pool and a deck and they actually rigged a plank and had some of the fairies walk the plank, which is pretty fun. I know. I mean, it was really, it was amazing. So like I said, I just went to my first sex party. What do you want to know about sex party?

So you curious about them? Have you ever been to one? Do you have a story? Do you have any questions for our dear captain who gets hired actually to go to sex parties? Yes, sometimes. And not have sex, but to do some amazing things that he's going to talk about here.

But have you been? Do you want to know? This is your chance. I know you're all thinking, oh, I would never do it, but I thought that too. I thought, I am not the sex party type. I'll try some things. I am not going to go to sex party. I would have, you know, I have enough guys hitting on me where I go. I'm not going to not the sex party type. I'll try some things. I am not

going to go, I would have, you know, I have enough guys hitting on me where I'm not going to go to sex party, but it was. Yeah, sex parties, you know, one of the main things that I found that's important is that you need to have there be a balance of enough people who are there as couples and enough people there as singles. Some parties limit the energy of single men because men tend to be the more proactive hitting on type of people around sex and women are more chill about it. So a lot of times like the one we went to for example, you're really not allowed to be a single male there.

You have to come with a date and you can't just like bring a date and then ditch her and go and hit on people. It's just not really looked well upon. So it creates an environment where you don't have to feel scared. You can have a light little flirtation, maybe look at someone and think they're attractive but they're not going to come over and be like, so. Right. I mean, that's the thing. It was like this really, that's what I'm saying. It's like, I thought I was nervous beforehand. And I was like, okay, I'll get dressed up

in my little nymph like, she was a super cute rock. So you should have seen her with her little wings on her. I said this on the podcast interview. Everybody in this place was looking at Emily. It was extremely fun to watch because she was very demure and kind of feeling it out. But yet in a way that actually attracted almost more attention than if she was being flamboyant. And it was cool because as you noticed, it was really mellow in the beginning. And then all of a sudden at a certain point, you looked up and you were like, wow, look, that woman's giving that guy oral sex. Right, exactly. And it just seemed so blazin. The person next to them was really, you know,

really noticed exactly because it did. It started to get there and I was like, hi, nice to meet you. And we're having drinks. I mean, I am wearing wings and whenever. But it's, and then that for an hour and a half, like most of like it really gets going. We're drinking and I look over and there's like, yeah, people having sex and people getting naked.

But it wasn't obtrusive. It was like, it was, it was very measured way. In other words, you look at it at an hour, into it and a couple of things are happening. You look two hours into it and then, oh, it's a little more full blown. Another thing I want to make clear is that, you know, a lot of the parties have a big layout space. So there's a private place, if you want to just go off with your high-end. There's lots of private places here, right? And then there's public places for people who are really wanted, like I said, be voyeuristic about it. So there's

lots of choices. I mean, I think to do it all, that's a thing. I was like, I never got in the hot tub. Well, you got invited back, so. I did. When can we go back? I think that's going to be up in a couple months. Is it the same one? Or it's like, okay, okay, we're talking about sex parties. Yeah, I had my first experience with the good captain. What do you want? Do you want, there's all these people doing sex parties and doing things here, but just like, I know, it must interest you a little bit, because I know I was intrigued, but I didn't think I'd ever do it, but Captain Rada, because of Pro,

and we can tell you, he can answer your questions about it, and I wanna hear your stories, if you ever went to a sex party. So are there different levels of sex parties, like beginner and intermediate advanced? Yeah, I mean, there's not like a rating system, you know, you can't get sort of qualified by some sort of board, but there definitely are.

And really it comes down to, we've touched on some of this already a little bit, like what the setting is and how much intentionality goes into it that really set these things apart. A lot of people want to know, you know, well, how do I go to a sex party? Even if we wanted to, how would we go about fighting? I mean, I had to find the kept kept neurotic to go. But the way that it works, the one I want to advise people is that there's a really kind of like a layered way that you go about it.

In other words, you're not just going to pop on Craigslist or go on the internet and find a sex party and get invited, because again, people like to have a sense of who's going to be there. While there are some parties in the area that are open to the public, there's one, for example, that lets guys download a form and say that, you know, I'm a single guy, but I promise to behave. And do they have to? Yeah, they have to show up at the door with the things signed that says, I'll behave.

And if there's a problem, there's monitors, you know, that kind of thing. But anyway, so there are some that are in public. But if you want to go about finding some kind of a scene where you can get invited to a sex party, I would recommend that you look around the city for any sort of workshops or events that you might see that are public that aren't about having sex, but that are about the topic of sex or eroticism. And then in those type of environments, you can meet people, make friends, and that's really how you're going to get invited if you meet the world. That's how I met you and you became my friend, Captain Erotic is my best friend.

You're listening to Sex with Emily on 106-9 free FM. And we'd like to hear from you, Triple-8501-069. We're talking to Captain Erotica about, oh, everything sex and sex, but we're talking about sex parties and fantasies. Like living here, how do you, he's an erotic coach, he helps people, men and women live their dreams. So we'll be talking to you about it. You're listening to Sex with Emily on one of six nine free FM and we're changing the world one orgasm at a time

You can have more sex with Emily at sexwithamily.com We're talking about sex parties with Captain erotica He's a real He flies in and he helps people's sex lives I'd like to encourage all listeners, you need to be erotic superheroes too, because there needs to be more of them out there.

It's true, I mean, that's what we're trying to do here. And he, I mean, we are, we, oh God, there's so much I want to say about you, but he, right now we're talking about sex parties, because that's actually how we got to know each other. And we, it was each other. And we. It's like any more intimate circumstances. It was intimate.

It was fun. I know you. Sex parties seem kind of weird. Kind of how would you ever go to a sex party? And I went to my first one. And I really, I was really nervous and I liked it. And we are taking your calls about that. If you want to ask how to.

Find out. Find out. Find out. Have you that. If you want to ask how to find out, find out, have you been? We're live in San Francisco. It's Saturday night. Are you at a sex party? Are you going to one? Do you want to go next Saturday night?

So Captain Erotica, our superhero, how do you break into a sex party community? Well, I was saying a little earlier, I recommend a layered approach. It, I was saying a little earlier, I recommend kind of a layered approach. It can be a little bit elusive, because as I said, people tend to try and have a degree of control over who's coming to the parties, because they want to have a certain environment

and let people feel safe. So usually people have to get invited by someone or recommend it or refer to it by someone. Now, what I recommend to people is go to events that have to do with essential or erotic activities. I want to mention a really amazing resource that we have that we're so lucky to have here in San Francisco which was created by one of your other guests actually on the podcast Carol Queen and that's called the Center for Sex and Culture and you can create resource. Yeah it's it's an

amazing thing that hopefully every city will have some day but right now we're the only one that has it and it has a library of erotic literature and pornography there. And it has an erotic as website. Yes, that's true. So anyways, so if you want to go to www.centerforsexenculture.com, you can look on their calendar and find that there's a lot of different offerings that they'll do

of workshops of all different kinds. That's a great place to go to kind of mix and mingle, meet some people and then- But what if people feel like it's kind of more private? They're like, this is what I want to say. I know, I thought I would never go to a sex party and I was nervous and it was really kind of like, open my eyes, it was an interesting experience

where I'm going to take you to the show. See the Emily a couple hours into it, lying on the bed and little snuggle cuddle puddle. And it's nice. One of the things that's nice is people are allowed to be intimate. In other words, it's not like, okay, here you are at the sex party. You're cute. Now let's have intercourse.

You know, that's not really what it's about for people, especially people who just met. Right. Oftentimes, people will meet people at a sex party, but not even actually have sex in them until later. Yes. So, you know, one of the things that's great though is people are allowed to be intimate with each other because we're really not. We're all walking around in our own little space

and you're not supposed to, I mean, it's inappropriate to just touch people randomly, but in other words, our culture doesn't encourage a lot of intimacy. So to just see people who just met a few minutes ago kind of just cuddling on a couch, like Emily was with a very cute girl. Okay, now, yeah, we'll get back to our sex party.

But do you want to know five sex parties? Do you want to go to one? Have you been to one? We're going to talk to Kara Nappa. She's always wanted to go to a sex party. Hi, Kara. Thanks for calling sex with Emily. Hi.

How are you guys doing? We're good. How are you? I'm doing great. Good. So you've always wanted to go to a sex party. Well, absolutely. I mean, I used to watch real sex a lot on HBO

and I see those things and I just never know how to get into that community because you know sex is such a taboo subject and a lot of circles and I'm a very free and open person with with any subject with people I just love learning about people and you know, it's very difficult to subject with people i just love learning about people and you know it's very difficult to and agree that into one's life so yeah you can just walk up to someone in the market and go ahead you know you could see the parties it's a really that's why i'm trying to cut her i'm so glad you call this question because

that's a thing that's what i thought i'm a how do you break into it and i know the captain here what case of carry livin napah yeah well again i think that it is an elusive thing because you can't just flip to the newspaper or whatever and find it. The way that I recommend to people is to try and network yourself with people who are in an erotic, positive type of community in environment. Now the options these days for us are much greater than they used to be because of the internet. So if you're able to go online and connect with someone like tribe where my profile is,

is it what's called a social networking service. And you can go on there and literally just by looking at someone's online profile, see that they're into stuff like that. And that's a good way to befriend people. And then once you have a little bit of a development of relationship, you're more likely to then get extended in invitation.

Because as you said, it's hard. You don't know who to put yourself out there to all the time. And you might be a little more free than the people you actually already know. But for all, you know, they have a profile on some online service where they're a little more open with themselves. And then you're like, hey, look at you. Right. I mean, a few years ago, probably, it's probably been like four years ago, before I changed my careers and went back to school, I was actually working as a teller and I did have some online things going on and I actually put an ad on it because I was

in a relationship with a woman for six years. And it wasn't sexually, it was not right for either one of us. And that's one of the reasons why we broke up is because I was not satisfied sexually. And so, it was tough. Good for you. Yeah, I mean, for two years I didn't really date anybody. I dated a couple of girls, a couple of guys, but I didn't really have any sex with these people.

And then I just decided, you know what? I'm gonna put an ad online, and I'm gonna call it sexual healing, and I'm gonna see what I get. And I got like 300 responses. Wow. Add, and I actually met a guy who was 13 years older than me and it was one of the best experiences I ever had. What happened? Well, he and I met and of course went to coffee and then he took me out to dinner. We talked for about a week on the phone.

We went out to dinner and then, you know, he said, we want to go for a drive and I said, sure. And then we went and I had the most most erotic i had ever had before with somebody because i just relax because i have a perfect woman i'd i'm i'm i'm a big woman but i'm a beautiful woman as well you know i'm shaped well and he found that very erotic because i was so confident myself that is everything is everything car that that is everything and i'd like to just offer that you are perfect because not to sound cliche about everybody's perfect,

but it really is true. And it's a matter of that it's not about how you might be judged by a society at large but how you're judged by the individuals you're interacting with. And this guy, responding to your ad of sexual healing, right? Not like I want to have sex with someone I don't know, but sexual healing, obviously that was a great idea because that attracted a certain kind of person who

appreciated you for who you are not, who you are relative to what Vogue says you should be or what have you. Absolutely. So, Kar, the next step could be a sex party then. Exactly. And I would love to do that. I mean, I've actually been invited to the sex club in San Francisco a couple of times, but I didn't feel comfortable with that person.

I don't know. But I've never met anybody who's been to a sex party. You know, actually, I know of one that happens up in that area in Sonoma County, kind of in the Sebastopol area, and this party is fantastic too, because it's done in a private home, and it's very, very, it's the one I called in from, actually, on your show. Oh, he called in a few weeks ago,

and was vlogging people. It's a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, well, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, for calling Sex with Emily. Hi, there's different types of sex parties. Tell me. I think it's important to differentiate between what is an orgy versus what is a party. I agree. OK, do you want to do that for us?

So you're saying you know where you want us to do that for you? Well, I think I could just do both. I think a play party is where somebody actually probably sponsors the party and has a theme to it and also provides the safe sex supplies to make sure that people play with consensually. Have you been to sex? Are you saying that you've been to this party, this kind of party, or? Yeah.

A long time ago, they used to have these mother goose parties and uh... and they uh... had monitors and also that the community where they kind of made sure that that uh... you you you practice safe sex and all a safer sex and also that uh... there was consensuality involved uh... and and and and also the differences in orgy is where friends get together or people get together after a bar or something or as part of a community and just have sex.

And so it's not as responsible as an actual sponsored party. Yeah, I agree with what you're saying, Bear, I think that there is definitely a wide range of different styles of these types of events And some of them do focus on promoting safe sex some of them are amongst groups of people that all know each other Which you know qualifying more as an orgy, but there are orgy's that need people to use safe sex because there are people who are Consciously saying hey, let's like all have sex. We all know each other, but let's not spread disease as well So it's a it can be a blend of the two types of things that you're describing, because some of answer private, some of them are what I'll call semi-private, where most people know

each other, but some strangers are not. Yeah, Barrett, you looking for to go to sex party, you just wanted to make sure we knew the difference between an origin and a sex party. Well, I'm looking for party parties too. Okay, well catch up, catch up, get in touch with the captain. Thanks for calling Sex with Family. One of the things that we wanted to talk about is how do you prepare for a sex party? Let's say you've already gotten through the part of finding the party and you have someone

you want to go with, let's say, and you know, you're thinking, okay, well, what am I going to, I've never been, how can I get ready so that I go and have a positive experience? So just a couple of things that I wanted to talk to people about with that is that first of all, make sure you set some parameters and have clear communication with your partner. So don't just kind of go- Before you go, but you have to go with a partner? Well, you don't always, but generally speaking, especially if you're going for your first time, yes, you're probably going to have to go with a partner, lover, or playmate as I

like to call it. Playmate. Yes, a playmate. Meaning you might not necessarily have some sort of ongoing relationship or romance. Right. Play-together. This is right. Okay. So you got to get it clear.

I mean, we're talking about sex parties. We're talking to Captain Erotica. We want to know what do you want to know about sex parties? Have you been? And do you want to know how to break into that, break into that world? And I'm, the captain can help you. He took me to my first sex party.

I never thought I'd go. I want to go to another sex party with you. Okay. Well, I'm sure we can arrange that. I would certainly love to take you. And I know that you'll have a really good time. I wish you had come to the one that we did last time that I did the Ice Bar Act,

because that one was amazing. See, one of the things that actually Barry kind of brought this up is that there's, some of these parties, people go really off with the theme. The one that I went to recently had a theme that also included raw foods and there was like dance, dance performances that happened and people like, oh so lavish and beautiful that it was really nice so definitely you need to get

it. I think that's a thing that we're talking about and we were talking right now how do you prepare for this expert because you know it's if you've never been. Couple quick things just for people to think about so you want to have a nice outfit don't go showing up in some shabby clothes you know. If you go to the safe way and you're trying to pick up shirts, you should wear a nice outfit. But anyway, it's a good point.

Good shoes, man. You're like your shoes. We look at that. Make sure that you bring condoms if you want to be playing with people you don't know. And are we getting a near-brook here? Okay, well, we'll have to come back to that. Yeah, we're coming back.

We're getting ready for sex parties. Do you want to go to sex party? You want to get invited. We're talking about them. And we are talking to Savi and Napa, Vavae, you want to know the best way to get into sex parties huh? Yeah, I was actually I think it's great what you guys are doing I just wanted to say that's awesome and I just caught your idea I think tonight and I had been living

in the city and I always wondered how to get into that and you've called the right place. Yeah, I just thought it was pretty sweet that you guys are doing that. So have you found it helpful what we said so far about how to approach it? We went our ego-start now. Everything has been kept in order. You sound like you've really diled into what you're into and you guys know what you're doing. So I'm glad you had a great time Emily. Thanks.

I did. I can't stop talking about it. He's a super, he's a super here. So how can we help him here? Captain. Or how can we help you? And how can can we help you and how can the captain help you? We got everything's been good so far. I've got the resource you talked about it. Sex and or the the dot com for the center for sex and culture. Yeah. Yeah. I'm great. I started like researching for that and I was just doing anything else. It's kind of build relationships is what I've gotten understand is to meet people and

else. It's kind of build relationships is what I've gotten understand is to meet people and understand that's the best way I've talked to some people before in the city when I was living there when I was going to school and they said that's the best way to is to it was pretty private. Yeah. Pretty exclusive to have good ones at least. Yeah. Well, what I'm curious what makes you want to go to a sex party? Can we have an ask anybody that? That's a good question. I'm a sexual person, of course, you know, we to a sex party. So we haven't asked anybody that yet. That's a good question. I'm a sexual person, of course. We all enjoy sex. So it's definitely not a bad thing, but

I had, when I lived in the city before, I did kind of a bad experience with a girl who took me to the power exchange and was such an awful horror. Yeah, see, this is, that's a really good point. I'm so glad you brought that up because people think, oh, power, I thought, to be honest, I thought that too, like power change, I'm not going to do that. So that's talk about, that's a really, Well, see the thing about here's the basic thing about power exchange that's a little challenging as twofold is one, it's an open club for anyone to go to and it's one of the only places you can go to and pay money in public and have some sort of sexual experience.

So people go there whether or not they're actually interested in power exchange itself. And I'm not even going to get into what that is. That's a whole nother show. We'll be back for that. But basically, the interesting thing about power exchange is that they'll let in men who are just going there to be warriors. And so you can go to power exchange and you're standing there having this experience. And there's like a hundred guys in towels standing around watching you.

That's the biggest time. That's what you think a sex party is. Not you, but if one thinks that, it can really throw you off to be like, that's the really don't want that to happen. Yeah, it seemed to be like this girl's outlet, and that's what she wanted. I mean, the fourth thing was fun. I'm comfortable with all that. And people, I just, I like the idea of a more private admit that it wouldn't be comfortable with one another. Yeah, and also, power exchange is very cold and edgy. I mean, in other words, it's about

SNM and stuff like that. So there's like chain like fences and like it's all black and, you know, cages around and stuff. Whereas like, you know, by contrast, the party that Emily and I went to was like in this house where there was like, you know, fabric on the ceiling and bad. It was flat and soft and pool and hot tubs and happy. And it's nice because it softens the energy of people because we can get a little edgy when we're kind of like, okay, I want to have sex and I'm trying to meet someone. And it's nice because it softens the energy of people because we can get a little edgy when we're kind of like,

okay, I want to have sex and I'm trying to meet someone and that can be a little anxious making. Like one person can spread tension throughout the world. Yeah, that's good. Well, I hope you find a good sex party. Maybe we'll see you there. Thanks for calling sex with Emily. So how can you, I mean, this is a good thing.

Like people, how would you host kept in erotica? We're talking about sex parties. We're talking everything you ever know, everything you ever want to know about sex parties, but we're afraid to ask. And we're taking your calls. Captain Eradica, what if you want to have your own sex party? Oh, very easy to have your own sex party. Of course, see, okay.

So the first step to having your own sex party is to be able to admit to people that you know that you want to have a sex party. In other words, like just like our friend who called from Napa, she was saying, oh, I'm very liberal, but I don't know about my, the people I know. So you have to be a little bit risky and brave if you're gonna wanna try and create this.

So to have a sex party, you need to have a nice environment. So you need to create your home in a place that's gonna be conducive towards people having sexual experiences. You know, you can't have one in the kitchen. I mean, people do do it, but you wanna have like pillows in the house.

People are having sex in the kitchen. They don't have a sex party. But the point is, is that if you wanna make one for yourself, you should look to your house the kitchen. I mean, people do do, but you want to have like pillows. People are having sex in the kitchen. The other sex party. But the point is, is that if you want to make one for yourself, you should look to your house and say, how can I make this a comfortable, sensual space, lighting and music and all these sorts of things. But the steps that you really need to take also in that are to find the people who are going to be comfortable coming

and having those experiences. Now, there's two sort of paths you can take. You can try and see who you know already might be like that by being brave and bringing it up because I encourage everyone out there to be able to feel comfortable talking about what you want because you deserve to get what you want. So now if you don't believe that your friends are going to be able to hang with this or handle it, then you need to go out and do some networking and meet some new friends and get together with them and say, hey, you guys are new friends and you're into sex, let's make a party.

And I just want to say this about people you know, for so long, though, that everyone's thinking about sex, right? We're just not talking about it. But like I said, I was like the last person. I thought we'd go to, well, not the last person, but I didn't think I'd go to a sex party as readily. And I actually, one of the awkward moments, one of the only moments for me was I actually ran into a few people I knew there that you never think would be at sex parties.

Yeah, it was funny, in fact, she ran into someone and they're like, hey, were that couple that you never think would be at Sex Party. Yeah, it was funny in fact she ran into someone and they're like, hey, were that couple that you saw or you know, a club? Oh my God. We showed you my penis piercing. Oh, but those people, those people, I thought would be at a Sex Party. Oh my God, that's a great story.

I forgot about that. No, those weren't even who I was talking about. I had this cut, oh God, that's another story. They like took me into the bathroom at a party, like this nice party, they're like, do you want to see my husband's piercings? Piercings. And then they were the sex party. I'm like, well, of course that couple would be at the sex party.

But these are people I had worked, the other people I'm talking about, people I work with. And like, oh, you're a sex. So it's like people, I think, are more... Yeah, people are very open-minded. And when you go there and you see people that you know, of course, everyone just smiles and goes, how wonderful. You know, oh, haha, because like you pointed out earlier, we're all thinking about it, but not really talking about it. Exactly. That's why we have this show.

That's why Captain Aratica is a superhero because we're all thinking about it. And we all, this is what the show is about tonight. Captain Aratica helps people. He literally goes in and he helps swoops in and saves people's sex lives and helps them with their sex lives in a single bound or two bounds. He couples individuals, people, Hiram or talk to him or email him and he helps them because we all kind of get into little rats. I'll give you an example. I got a letter on tribe the other day and someone wrote me and said, you know, dear Captain Rottica I am in number of years old. I've had a fantasy where I wanted to live out a certain experience and I've never, ever been able to do it. Can you help me figure out how I could go about finding someone who I can do?

In this case, this person wanted to be submissive. So without going to the details of what they wanted, they said, well, I'd like to have this experience, but I can't find anybody who I would trust enough to do this. So then I wrote back saying, well, here's some resources and some websites you can look at in a way to go about it and kind of just gave her a little bit of a thumbs up. And then she wrote back and she said, okay, you know what, I'm just going to quit messing around. I want you to do it. And so you really did, did you find a case?

No, I don't wear a case. I've seen the Incredibles. Come on. You can't swoop with the case. I want to get you a case. No, a case. Okay. Okay. Anyway, so the thing that happened in this case was, you know, here's someone who is writing to me is someone who I'm not inherently going to be attracted to or want to have

an experience with just on my own accord per se. And this is why I said, okay, I know that I can give them this experience. And so I went and traveled actually a great distance and went to the person's home and gave them this experience just so that they could have the experience in a positive way and then be able to go, I mean, they literally wrote in their first letter, I do not want to go to my grave not having experience. Can you tell us a little bit about this fantasy? Because that's what we're going to be. We're moving.

Well, I mean, we can get into that, but it was a very basic dominant submission fantasy that said, I want to be in a sexual context and give up the power or choice to make the decision of what's going to happen in this experience. And so we're going to set some parameters and boundaries. Again, I'm giving like the super quickie version of this and I'm almost hesitant to do so because it's a pretty, it's not a mist. No, no, not that, but more that it's a very involved topic. And I don't want to, you know, Oh, it's a great question. Yeah, exactly. we're going into, we're moving into fantasies. Yeah, so it does apply to that.

It does. But in this case, it was very simple. I mean, we outlined the parameters. What is allowed? What isn't allowed? And then within that parameter, this person agreed to the very basic rule of dominant submission, which is the submissive degrees to do with the dominant says.

And if they don't want to do with the dominant says, they use what's called safe word and then they stop everything. Right. So that's, so that's an example of how you help women with their fantasies. Yes, I hope so. And it's sex parties and you help couples. I have a professional practice that I call erotic coaching. It's based on a life coaching modality where you just have someone in your life that can

help you to achieve your goals, give your resources, make you a plan to get what you want. I do an erotic version of this, and it's a process that helps people to figure out what they want and help them give the resources to how they get. Like a life coach, but for your sex life. So I do that professionally, but also like in this case, I didn't charge this person for that.

That was just something where I like touched my heart. You know, and I thought, okay, I can't think of this person going to their grave, not living in their fantasy, that's terrible. You're gonna get hundreds of emails tonight. Everyone's going to say, okay, we want to go to America. I should have used that line on you because I've got some fantasies. We're talking about.

You don't need to, Emily. We know that. Oh, really? Okay. Well, we are. He makes me flush Captain Narotica. That's just rare. Captain Narotica is a Narotica coach. He will answer all of, he's a Rodic Superhero. He can answer all of your erotic, he's helped. I mean, this is the thing, like I was like, okay, we're Rodic Superhero.

He has really helped people if you go to his website. I've met people who he's actually touched their lives in a lot of different ways, men, women. And you can talk to Captain Naratica. We're gonna talk about fantasies. Fantasy. So, fantasies. We started to talk like this.

It is a big topic because everybody's got, like some sort of fantasies, would you say? Or, absolutely. I define fantasy. To find it. Yeah, to find it. As what you think about that turns you on, either in your mind or in your genitals, either way,

or sometimes if you're lucky, both. In a fantasy. And a fantasy can be something you've already done, and then you still fantasize about it, or it can be something, and often this is the case, and how people use it as a word, is something that you haven't quite done yet. So, and fantasy can apply to anything.

The breadth of people's fantasy lives is so astoundingly large that the average person can't even really comprehend the amount of things that people think about when they think about sexual thoughts. So really fantasy is something that, you know, depending on who the individual person is, maybe something that's really challenging for them, you know, like this woman who wrote me, she had been thinking and fantasizing and masturbating about this fantasy of submitting to someone for years and years and years

and never been able to actually living it out. Right. So this is so worth, so they come to you and they know, no point in tonight. There's so many puns on a section. Yes. But they come to you and they can people kind of repress them

sometimes or they're email you and you'll help them and they know why our fantasies important. Well, fantasies are very important because as you often talk about in the show, sex can become paternistic or people can fall into a rut of, okay, well, this is how we do. Yeah, very, very frequently. So, and as you pointed out, it's some,

even if it doesn't happen right away, go 10 years into any relationship and you're gonna find, okay, well, we've been doing this for a long time. So fantasy is in the realm of the mind. And the mind can think about anything it wants. So when you tap into taking the things that you think about in your mind and making them real, what you do is you open up and broaden your opportunities for sexual experiences with your partner. Like a sex party, sexual fantasies, all this stuff. So, you know anything.

I mean, we're talking to Captain Eradica. And about how do you make, we're all gonna fall into this sexual right. And I'm sorry, this is blanket. Anyone can call me about this anytime. I want to, if people who are still having really good sex after several years, five years together. But anyway, that's the goal of the show,

what we try to do. How can you mix up that sex life? Because everyone's so shocked, they're sex life falling apart, and they do her husband rather, your husband rather surf porn, then I'm have sex. So anyway, here's some practical things. We're focusing on fantasies though right now.

How do you get your partner to realize your fantasy? How do you express what your fantasy is? What's your fantasy? If you don't know your fantasy, Captain Erotical will help you get there.