Sex With Emily - Episode 279 - Creepy Men 1
Episode Date: August 25, 2011It’s a creepy job, but someone’s gotta do it. Today Emily attempts to de-creep our nation - one male listener at a time. In the meantime, she and Menace work out their on-air "relationship", and w...onder why everyone is taking nude pics. The how to's of female ejaculation are broken down, as are the reasons why guys should clean their sheets. Learn how to prioritize your long distance relationship, then join us as we reveal the bisexuality myth. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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I
Look into his eyes
They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex
Eyes that block our sacred institutions
Betrubized they call them a bygone
Hey, Emily you got a boyfriend because my man he here. He just got his heart broken
He thinks you're kind of cute the girls got a hair stand
Oh my the women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way?
What do you mean like laundry?
It shrinks.
Can we not talk about sex so much?
Are you kidding me?
Oh my god.
I'm so grown up.
Being bad feels pretty good.
You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play good.
You're listening to Sex with Emily.
We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between.
For more information about sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com where you get all your sex information that you'd ever need
or want at sex with Emily.com.
Thanks for everyone for becoming friends with benefits members.
We love you.
We appreciate you and it changes our lives and I hope it changes yours too.
So yeah, today is going to be a fun show because men's is here.
What's up men's? Sorry. Sorry I was talking a little late today men's here. What's up, men's?
I hate doing good.
Sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry a little late today.
Oh man, I'm kinda mad at myself with that one.
Why?
Oh, cause you're just gonna click something.
We had some technical difficulties.
Yeah, the camera wasn't being read by the program
and all that stuff.
And I haven't used that program in a quite a long time.
But I, yeah.
And I figured it out.
You know what I think about E-Men?
It's so hot. Is that can't tell you something that you're totally
hot, even though I know you don't need compliments like I do.
I think it's really hot that you know how to work all this stuff.
I believe that you can walk into any technical difficulty in any room and you can figure
it out.
I probably could, but I think you're the one and the million that actually thinks that's
hot.
I think it's super hot
Feedback six sex at only calm when a guy can come over and be like like technical stuff though like not
Technical stuff is hot hot. I thought you like housework and like building shit
It's all hot but a guy with technical stuff is hot. Hey, if you want to call us you can call us at 4159927392 right now, right?
Man, that's we can launch Skype.
It is.
Yeah, somebody already hit a sub and asked you if we're doing the show and then yeah,
sorry, we had little problems, but we're here.
We're so psyched.
And today we'll be talking about what makes a guy creepy.
Let's hope that you don't do any of these things, but you know what?
If you do some of these things, then you'll know not to and you won't be a creep anymore.
Tomorrow's show is free Friday, free Friday,
and we'll be talking about seduction.
And we've got an intern sex toy review
sponsored by Adam and Eve.com,
where you can go by all your sex toys
and use coupon code Emily and check out
for free discounts and free toys.
Also, we are so excited.
We are Sex with Emily has
been voted as one of the top five podcasts and we in San Francisco and we want to be number
one. So all you have to do is go to sfweekly.com and click on the link that says the weekly
pull, it says pull at the top, right? Doesn't say pull or contest. It's a banner at the top
that says contest. And then we're number 20,
item 20, click on us so we win. We are the best podcast. Or check your tweets and Facebook.
Check my Twitter and Facebook, it's actually Emily and I'm posting it all over the place.
Yeah, and it's online too, white menace. Just look at the link. It's item 20 on there.
Item 20, just scroll down to item 20 and then we we win Because we are the best podcast in San Francisco. So it just seems obvious doesn't it?
Manus yes, it does so obvious
So yeah today show creepy creepy guys and then also
Creepers creepers creepers and then also because guys can do creepy things and they don't know it. Yeah
Believe me. I hate creepers hate. I know. So we're
going to talk about that. Speaking about creepers, how's the random guys rubbing your vagina
all weekend? It starts tomorrow. It's it's a it's women actually. I think it's a woman
and a man. And it was creepers. People rubbing my clitoris for three days. You don't know.
I'm doing Oming.
It's called One Taste San Francisco with Nicole Daydon.
I'm going on some special retreat where I'm going to,
it's called orgasmic meditation.
And I'm going to learn more about my clitoris,
which I feel like I know it pretty well.
We're pretty tight.
But we're going to learn more.
And I'm going to be
having my Clitoris massage 24 7, but I also have a big party to go to Friday
night after my Clitoris massage. So I wonder because they say if you do this
kind of meditation a lot, this orgasmic meditation that you kind of walk around
in the state or orgasmic bliss. So I wonder if I'll show up like orgasmic
blissed out of the party. It's going to be a really fun party. I wish you
imagined if you were that and then you add the wine in there, you're just going to be
so out of it. I know. You're just going to be in this.
It's going to be awesome. I've been drinking a lot more wine lately.
Oh, that's so easy. That's why you know that.
And I really like wine. So, okay. Also, if you want three months free of sex with Emily,
all you have to do is like us
on the Sex with Emily Facebook page.
Every day, one person is randomly selected
to win three months of sex with Emily.
If you're already a fan, you're still eligible.
And what else, Mendez, didn't we change something there?
We're still working on it.
We're still working.
But we're gonna make it so eventually,
hopefully everyone that likes us will get it.
Everyone who likes us is eventually might, whatever whatever we don't know what but do that.
And then you also get 30 minutes free.
If you're already a member of fire TV, just go to fire TV.
You have to register and put in your credit card.
They will not charge you.
Then you launch the chat window and tell them you're at your sex assembly and you'll get
30 minutes free of like all the porn that you ever wanted in your life, every topic,
every scenario played out there.
It's like the Netflix of porn, you can scroll
and whatever you're fancy, whatever you're fancy.
And then, oh, going back to the voting thing real quick,
hopefully by tomorrow, we'll give you a domain
that will send you directly there.
Yeah, that'd be awesome.
Yeah.
I was gonna make that happen.
See, that's hot, that's hot too.
That's hot? But is that kind of falls in the same realm? It doesn't give me votes at the full time, just'd be awesome. Yeah, I'm gonna make that happen. See that's hot. That's hot too. That's hot But it that kind of falls in the same realm. It doesn't give me a lot of time
It doesn't give you blow jobs. No, you should get blow jobs all the time for all the web savvy stuff you do
I know right can you please put a bulls and out there maybe a tweet
Do you want me to create a special website for people to line up to give you blow jobs?
Yes, give menaceoblowjob.com give me I love it. I'll do that. Okay. That sounds like perfect idea. See if that works
How you do it? You're men is rolling with the suitcase. I know I'm going to Los Angeles
Are you gonna? Yeah, your favorite place ever
Yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm gonna go see
No, I'm gonna have a couple days where I get to hang out cool Cool. So yeah, that's rarely, I don't even know what to do with myself,
but I have a bunch of radio friends that I'm gonna go see.
Of course you are.
And he checks out there.
Let me check to keep an L.A.
I have quite a few lady friends.
And then out there.
And I always say the best ladies in L.A.
are the ones from the Bay.
That's true, best ladies in the Bay.
And then those are the only ones I know and hang out with,
the one I'm down there.
Right.
I honestly, I know five awesome women.
We're just chill.
Like I love LA, whatever, but Bay Area Chicks
are just a good, we're good breed.
Even though I'm from Michigan, I feel like I have won
my Bay Area Chick card, right?
Yeah.
And I'm going on our Gassik Meditator Intrigue.
If that doesn't make you bear a person.
No, that gives you your wacky San Francisco Union card.
I've been here too long and I need to move back or something.
I don't know.
This city is so wacky.
It's ridiculous.
It is a wacky city.
I love it.
I love it.
That's how we love it, right?
I, OK, it's not why I love it.
Why do you love it?
I love it for the beautiful scenery, architecture,
and the sights and my job and all that stuff.
Right.
And I don't like the whackingness.
The whackingness keeps me from having a garbage can
outside of my house.
Why, because you both are garbage can?
No, it's because they believe in this extreme recycling.
Hello, I will recycle.
I will recycle. It's like extreme. Hello, I will recycle. I will recycle.
It's like extreme.
Like I can't even get.
We used a compost or we get like tickets.
Yeah, and I can't get a plastic bag,
even though the plastic bag,
don't I put the plastic bag in the recycling
and then they take care of it, right?
Yeah.
But now, I mean, now I can't get one.
Now I can get one when I go to the grocery store.
So what I don't drive now.
So when it is bad weather and I'm walking with paper bags, they rip.
They go at yourself.
I know.
The paper bag trip.
The assholes that.
What town outlaws?
We had honor a ballot in the last year or not only on our ballot, but like on our voting
ballot, but also the board of supervisors, which, which is our like, Toral Body here.
They banned, they did ban plastic bags.
So yeah, you literally can't get plastic bags.
Like, it kind of sucks.
Like, they're kind of like a commodity.
Like, oh my god, there's that plastic bag that I got in San Jose.
I better bring that back to San Francisco and use it for recycling.
Because you can't do it.
Then you have to compost.
Does everyone know what composting is?
Like, all your food, your egg shells and your peels, I don't do that.
I'm sorry, I will not compost,
because it makes everything messy and buggy in your house.
And then you gotta always bring it down.
You gotta bring it down stairs, the thing I don't compost
that give you is everyone a compost thing.
Did you get one of those?
I got rid of it.
Will not compost.
And I don't even like recycling.
I'm gonna say it right here.
I recycle, but I hate it.
I hate the whole thing.
I know it's good for the environment,
but I'm sorry, but it's a pain.
It just is.
So then, so not only do we outlaw plastic bags, you have to recycle everything that they
expect.
You have no garbage.
Your garbage should be like this big and happy meals.
We outlawed happy meals and they want outlaw circumcision.
Yes.
This is the time that we live.
That's how wacky it is.
That's why I can't stand that part of it.
I know.
But I really can't live in too many other areas of the country.
Me neither.
Well, I think I could live in New York,
but that's going to be another time, I think.
So yeah, we've got some email.
Let me just say about the email topics today.
Not going out with your partner.
How to make a girl's squirt.
That's a common question we have.
Early adjaculation and how to touch breasts.
Don't you love that we can just say squirt and swear?
It's so awesome.
And so yeah, my week has been good.
It feels like it's already Friday, but it's Thursday,
but I've gone on some dates
and I'm not seeing that guy anymore that I've been seeing.
What?
Not the guy that was gone, but the guy,
not the guy that was gone, because the guy
that I was seeing openly, because the guy that was gone because the guy that I was like seeing openly,
because the guy that I was seeing who was out of town wants to commit.
Oh, duh.
This is major.
I know.
That always happens.
And then what?
Then what you say?
I don't know what to do.
I want to commit.
I was like, I'm sort of challenged in that way.
I don't know how I feel about monogamy, blah, blah, blah.
But I really like them.
So I'm sort of going through this process right now
of figuring out what to do.
Because I'm sure I'll think about my future.
So, okay, so that was your response or what?
How did I go down?
That's what I'm like breaking down.
Okay.
I don't want to like blow everything,
like this time.
I wasn't even gonna bring this up.
This is what just happens.
I am listening, sorry, have crazy working on that.
I understand.
So this is the deal.
We don't have to get, I'm gonna get into it more later.
I'm gonna get to it more later.
No, come on.
I'm gonna get into more later
because it's still very fresh and it is not,
it's inconclusive. It's and it is not it's inconclusive
It's like like yesterday. It's inconclusive. I need inconclusive because you didn't really answer the question because I did
I did a real I did a show a TV show pilot called chasing Emily which you can see on my website and the about page
You can buy find it on Vimeo. It's called chasing Emily It's a really cool TV pilot that I did a few years ago and on it I go on these
It's called Chasing Emily. It's a really cool TV palette that I did a few years ago.
And on it, I go on these dates with people.
And they're like fake dates,
but there's gonna be some other scenarios in my life.
I'm gonna have to do stuff like that too, filming stuff.
And then he was like, I don't know if I'd be cool
with you going on real dates, but fake dates are cool.
So then we had the conversation about commitment
and all that stuff.
And he was thinking that he wanted to be with me exclusively.
And Emily Morris aimed out a day.
And I had a heart attack.
I was like, don't you listen to my show?
I should give him a log into my show or something.
And then he could listen to it.
And then I said, well, still keep talking.
But I really like him and think that, I really do.
I think he's awesome.
So I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do about that situation.
Like, hey, this is not how I get down.
And then see what is his initial reaction.
He's like, I'm a monogamous.
I like monogamy.
And I feel like I'm a non monogamous for a few years now.
And that I haven't quite decided yet if that's my lifestyle choice for the rest of my life.
I'm still trying to figure out what I want.
And so, and this is the guy that I'm totally down with.
He's forget awesome.
So, I kind of ended it with the other guy,
which was always very open anyway, and he didn't care.
He actually told me I should be with this guy.
And, well, work it out.
We'll see what happens.
So, I'll keep you all updated
We're still in talks All right
I'm gonna see how that goes. I mean
I've got a dog in committee too. I've got a like now like this dude
Yeah, I mean show every day like there's a lot of commitment going on for girl
I just I just see it
Not going well because he's gonna be like he's gonna he's gonna say okay then we'll just do this and then
That's what he said. Yeah, and then he's gonna go off and do something and then he's
So he's like here's a guy I really like and he's like we don't do this then it's gonna end
What's the point?
So I tabled it.
No, that's smart.
Thank you.
What if?
What if you can talk you into it?
Is that what's going to happen? I don't know.
No, I don't know.
I know you're answering a lot of thinking like, no, I don't don't know my answer
because I have to start figuring out what I want with my life.
Do I want kids?
I mean, it's hard to be in a relationship with kids.
Do I want a normal relationship?
I've had that before.
You sort of in the past, but not lately.
Like, I made a concerted effort at the last three, four, five, three years not to commit.
So now it's like, maybe I could try it again with my own rules, with my own, with our own rules that we create.
We haven't talked about it yet.
Like we haven't been together that long,
that this has come up, but it came up sort of
in a weird awkward backdoor way.
So now I need to keep talking.
Backdoor way, I like that.
Backdoor way, not like that for sex.
Not like that for sex.
It's kind of different.
Oh man.
What do you think?
I see.
You think I'm not capable, but I think don't just...
No, no, I don't think you're capable.
I don't think that you're not capable, that is incorrect.
I believe that it's just something that you don't want.
And I'm exploring that.
I think I might want to, would we forever?
One day, if you don't want it right now,
like why are you gonna just go through the whole hassle
to say this is what it is.
Yeah.
See, that's why you always give me crap,
but you're like, oh, you're too harsh.
I don't know, I just don't want to waste my time.
That's it.
This is how I feel.
Let's not go into the whole.
But I really like it.
You're on our conversation.
Yeah, that's what you're talking about.
I'm just gonna waste hours upon hours
and I don't wanna be with you right now.
Man up, you wanna keep one having sex with me?
Cool, if not, then, you know, two fingers,
it's called deuces, peace out, play it.
Peace out, two, two, Monday, we're gonna arm.
Yeah, I think you're really swell, guy.
Monday, we're gonna, I will, to be continued.
Like I wasn't even
really ready to deliver this information but something about seeing you
menace and looking at your eyes just makes me want to spill all my truth.
How's you should? I know and you smell really good today. Thank you. It's Chanel
platinum. It's good. I like it. Tell your fellow friends. Tell my fellow guys.
Some guys can't that could be creepy too. We're talking about things that make
guys creepy today too much. Yeah, creepy, but you're good.
You measure it out well.
Like, like whatever you do, you're a little, is good.
It's really strong in the morning,
which I feel bad for my assistant
because she picks me up every morning now.
And it's just like.
At 4.30 in the morning.
Yeah.
And, you know, I put it on right before I get in a car.
So I'm probably just bathing in it by then. Well, for put it on right before I get in our car so I'm probably just
Just bathing in it by then well for now it's good. I have one o'clock. It's tone down a little bit. Yeah, okay Well, I hope you come back with lots of stories from LA. Yeah, I got invited to some
Video music award parties
The email I was reading I was still paying attention to you
I just got some I just got some I was pouring out my heart and men's was like on the phone
I just got some tickets to the actual event. I was just doing for sure if you're going
Well, no, I was going for sure, but I was just doing red carpet coverage
I'll talk to all the stuff
But now you're gonna be sitting in the actual place. The audience. Yeah, that's cool. Who's hosting it?
There's a bunch of house. Yeah, they're not having a host this year. Video music awards. Yeah, cool. What should I think they're in line?
I think they're going to give me some prize hosts.
Sunday?
It's on Sunday, yeah.
I'm going to watch.
I'm going to look for you.
Look for me.
Look for me.
I'll be there.
OK, cool.
Maybe you hook up with someone hot, some celebrity or something,
and that would be great scandal.
It would be cool.
Totally.
Maybe.
OK, we've got some de-list actor.
OK, we've got some sex in the news we can kind of get into. Do you know me before you start?
Do you have the one about the Bart spokesman?
No.
All right.
I'm not expecting this story.
This story is hilarious.
Okay, so there's this major hacking group who's like,
they're like super hackers, right?
They're named anonymous anonymous sorry and
We love them because we don't want them to hack our website. Okay, right because they would totally like destroy it in five seconds
Oh my god, so they're super hackers. So they go
They're like evangelists and stuff like that
So they don't like all the stuff that's been going down with Bart here in San Francisco
Bart is trained and Bart is our public transit Bayer rapid transit. that's been going down with Bart here in San Francisco. Bart is our train.
And Bart is our public transit.
Bay Area rapid transit.
There's been problems.
There's been shootings with Bart employees with the general public.
And I'm not getting, get into all that.
I guess we can talk about that for hours.
And then there's been some other things that I haven't really read into where they,
they blocked cell phone service and some of the parts of
Bart so you can't make it outgoing call because there's been some protests
against this Bart system and so they thought by doing that the people can't
organize and do it and that just pissed off people even more so anonymous got
into it now they hacked they hackedART website. They did all this crazy stuff on there.
Okay. And now there's a spokesperson for BART who was the one that was claiming
responsibility for blocking the cell phone service. They hacked some of his things
and they found all these nude photos of him. He's a gay man. He's a opalign gay.
Okay. So they're not the spokesman. Yeah. So it's not like they're outing him or anything like that
But there's these there's these photos of him up in the gay clubs like showing off his dick like pulling down his pants and showing off
Okay, so they took these photos and they put them online and they're like look we're not gonna stop doing this type of stuff and less you guys
Fix the bar train do these listed, which is some of the list
of demands are not actually crazy ideas for them to do, but one of them is like they
want the cops to be disarmed and not have guns and so on. Okay. So I don't know if they're
going to get to that point, but some of the other stuff is not pictures is pie Bay Area.
Oh, it's all over. It's all over. Oh, they are not right now.
He's a spokesman and he has pictures of his peeing,
whipping out his piece.
People stop taking pictures of your genitalia.
This is like in a nightclub.
I don't know if people drunk.
So like, so what happens?
It's time.
People get really drunk and they're like,
you know what?
It's a great time to take a picture of my deck.
I don't get why people with all the stories
and all the sex tapes and all the things that go on,
why people think it's a good idea to take pictures
of yourself and save it and send it.
So make sure you guys link that on the website.
It is not hot.
I mean, maybe guys think it's hot,
but I don't wanna see pictures of men's penises.
I'd rather like, I like it.
Like I get women's bodies like that's hot,
but it's men's random genitalia not hot.
We gotta look it up.
There's also leaked, in the same day, like that's hot but it just men's random genitalia not hot yeah we got to look it up.
There's also leaked in the same day leaked nude photos of Kanye X's X-Girlfriend who's
currently-
Kanye West X-Girlfriend.
X-Girlfriend her name's Amber Rose and-
Of course Amber's stripper name.
Yeah she was a stripper and bisexual and she was dating a woman before Kanye.
Okay. Now she's engaged to another famous rapper.
His name is Wiz Khalifa, who's from Pittsburgh, California,
who is very famous.
He has a song called Black and Yellow,
which you probably heard on the radio are somewhere online.
And these photos leaked of her just at the same day.
The bar thing is going on, so you can find those online.
Oh. And probably link them at sex family. Pictures of her just at the same day. The bar thing is going on, so you can find those online.
Oh.
And probably link them at sex family.
Pictures of her with a woman?
No, it is her naked.
Oh.
She's on bad.
Yeah, she's a hot woman.
So leaked?
Or did she leak them?
No, they're leaked.
I don't believe that people leaked their own photos.
People say that all the time.
I do not believe.
When you're scared, I'm just trying to think if I ever take, I don't think I've ever Leave the wrong photos people say that all the time. I do not believe
When you're scared. I'm just trying to think if I ever take I don't think I've ever taken a nude photo yet
Yeah, I never will no, I'm gonna dig into your hard drive
I don't think so but anyway, it's crazy like if you don't want it just don't do it Why why do people I don't get it like what's the I get making sex tapes and all that like you guys watch
I put just like delete it with your boyfriend like after like just be careful
What's the point of deleting it right after there's no point of doing it?
Well, you have a whole your old sex library. I have a library. I'll show you the box set. I want to come over
I'm trying to convert it to Blu-ray
Oh, hilarious. Hopefully it'll be on Netflix soon or Fire TV.
Exactly.
Okay, so no, thank you for your addition to Sex and the News today.
Yes, so please link that on Sex and the Elmig.com.
Yes.
Amber Rose and Bart Spokesman.
Absolutely.
We will link that because you know you can get all these stories.
Everything we're talking about at Sex and the Elmig.com.
Oh, one more thing.
Oh my God. sorry what i love it
steve jobs step down
right i'm sure you
all heard it we don't have to go into that but the guy that is taking over
for him who was his c o o is apparently i this is just
what is been out on the internet
apparently he is a game and also. And now they're calling
them the most powerful gay man in the world. Yeah. But now that they were saying that all
over the place, all over the news yesterday, and now they say that he is not opening gay.
So now should they're saying should he come out as opening gay. So he's gay, but not
openly gay. Yeah, he has in publicly said that I'm.
Right, right.
Well, now he has to, doesn't he?
Does he have to?
Why?
Well, everyone knows he's gay.
So he was me, he's like parade around in like,
chaps or something and choked at the first street fair
but barged in the gay pride parade,
but he should show his weiner in the club.
He should show his weiner in the club.
He should take nude photos
Yeah, I think that's awesome. He should be like yeah, I'm gay
But as I think do the business that we're doing and selling you know, yeah, no no one's obviously in this area
No one is looking down on that but we're looking at the rest of the world
We live in a little bubble here where we're like gay what abs like bisexual transgender
We don't care. We don't care. We're like good for you. In fact, I wish I was sometimes I wish I was gay
Maybe you know whatever like I helps with things, but I could see that
That would be a problem if he was like never outed before like maybe people in the company didn't even know
They used to get right did they all know I didn't I didn't really look to good story into it
But my friend already thinks that he's hot and he's gonna try to hunt them down to to get with them
Really is he younger?
Sing it.
No, no, no.
But he's not too old.
I saw the little revenues.
Okay.
Okay, so, okay, sex and news that I've got is,
Will Smith and Jita Pinkett are denying divorce
and the Mark Anthony affair.
They're going away, they're taking a family vacation,
and they're saying they need to like move away,
and they need to just get away from it all
But they're saying that although we're reluctant to we're reluctant to respond to these types of press reports
The rumors circulating about our relationship are completely false. We are still together our marriages intact the same in red
So don't know they said she had an affair with Mark Anthony. They were doing a show together
What do you think I don't know I believe a lot of these stories are some truths to it.
Something had to be going on.
Something is on.
They just tried something.
Something is on.
They're in a big fight.
Something probably overheard it and then say, oh, they're
getting divorced.
I don't know.
They're always talking about how great their sex life is.
And how amazing their marriage is.
And that would just be a bummer if she had an affair but I can't imagine it.
Well women are scandalous so I wouldn't put a pastor.
Yeah but they just but the thing that it sticks out about it is yeah every day there's
another celebrity couple getting divorced.
The thing that's so remarkable about this is that they're always talking about how happy
they are and every interview like we're so happy we're together forever blah blah blah
there's like a list of all these quotes then they have
in fair so I guess to be continued yeah okay so this we had a lot of fun with this today
so college girls powerpoint quote fuck list goes viral what so there is this chicken college
at Duke and this was not for class but but she put together a PowerPoint presentation of 13
guys that she slept with. And she broke it down and she scored them all by like physical
physical, physical traits, size, creativity, athletic ability, sense of humor, entertainment.
So complete with penis, penis size evaluations and dirty talk transcripts of 13 male students.
So she like had all their sexting, all the sex they would do,
all everything they would say to her,
by minute by minute, she was doing it for her own,
just for herself.
And it's like, we're gonna have it on our website.
We'll have a link to it.
She just sent the two friends just to look at.
Like she did it on her.
Oh, whatever.
And no, she did, really.
And it got, became super viral.
And now everyone's seen it and they've like blacked out,
they've like put bar on top of the guy's faces.
But she broke it down like literally like each one
is like a little mini, like a little mini
dissertation on each guy.
Like could you imagine like sides of their penis,
their physical talent, how much they entertained her?
Like were they entertaining in bed? how good they were in bed, and like she broke down like
every move that they did at athletic ability, how aggressive they were in a good way, like
were they alpha males, were they not alpha males?
How embarrassing, she's like mortified, like apparently she went into hiding in front of
us, she really did just sentence to friends.
So she never, she says she never intended it.
I mean, I don't think she would she just graduated from college
but she regrets it with all my heart i would never intentionally hurt the
people that were mentioned in it
well
first off
thirteen guys would
or
second
i need a mask
dumbass for saying it to two-year friends and you've sent it to women of course
they're going gonna sell you out.
Like what I say all the time, the worst friend
is a woman's best friend.
And then,
Do you see that all the time?
You have best friends are my BFFs forever.
Like they want to sell you out and all the time.
They would never sell me out, not the real girls,
not the real chicks.
Not the real chicks, not my friends.
No, I've got friends that have had forever.
Whatever, they would do dirty. out of the water. But see thing is
with jealous of you you can't have friends that are jealous of you or threatened
by you which I've learned because the there's the ones that that are they just
want to ruin you and they everything you do they want to copy or they want to
tear you down those aren't really friends. That's most of them. So I think this is really interesting for us.
Another thing is, the only guy that's not embarrassed by that is the guy that got the
high score.
Exactly.
He's like, oh yeah.
He's like, he's like, he's on the bar.
That's my face exactly, but the ones who weren't bad, I think it's good.
But it got me thinking like, to be honest, this is probably some good information for these guys. Like, yeah,
but what about you guys? I've got a little story. I bet I can sleep with a guy that I slept
with in college. You'd probably be exactly the same. Men don't change that much. You got
to teach them things. They got to learn things. If he finds out, maybe he thinks he's
great in bed and she's totally slammed on. Maybe he could learn something from this. I
think this is a useful experiment for these men. And it got me thinking, how great would it be?
And I think we were talking about this either on the show or in my somewhere else in my
life.
But that, for example, if you go on a date with someone and you don't call back or you
reject them after the date, like, wouldn't it be nice to get information about why the
guiding call?
Like that's what we were talking about on the show.
If you used to go like,, like why he doesn't call.
Wouldn't it be nice to know, like why guiding and tie back the truth?
Like, it kind of just be like, what did I do?
I thought our day was great.
We were making out, things were good.
We were up all night and you didn't call me.
Why?
I actually think that information is useful.
Don't you wanna know?
I'd be open to share that type of information,
but the only thing is is women can't let things
go.
Remember, I haven't brought this up in a long time, but women have these hard drives that
they can pull up information that they told you at any given time and then they'll use
it against you.
True.
But what I'm saying is, it's like, this is the date that you went out on that was amazing,
but he didn't call or she didn't call you back.
She blew you off. You thought it was great. And if I said to you, you know what?
I hated the way you talked to the waitress.
You kissed me like you were trying to suck my face on your throat.
And you were, you know, you split the bill with me.
And I think on the first date, you should have paid it.
Whatever it is, whatever the comments were.
And then you kind of know, like then you just start like,
oh that's interesting,
because I'm gonna be dating for the next 20, 30, 40, 50 years,
and there's just some little tweaks,
not every wants to know and look at themselves,
and I'm not even saying that person is right
if they're giving you criticism,
but interesting to get that feedback.
I would've been psyched to get some feedback earlier on,
although I had perfect.
So they would've been at a loss. I just don't feel like paying
attention to you. I'm just a little damaged. I'm a little distracted. I'm a little distracted.
I'm a little busy. That's the complaints that I get. But, okay, researchers and
doubts, confirmation that bisexuality is real. If you thought it was not real. A new study looks at how physically-aroused subjects
became when viewing sexually explicit material, as well
as asking the subjects to report on whether or not
they experienced sexual, sexual excitation
as seeing intimate things involving males and females.
So basically, they did a study and they
measured how excited and turned on people were.
And if they're bisexual, they got turned on by both images.
So they, you know, people still doubt
the bisexuality is real.
So we have to keep doing studies to prove
that it is real.
There is a television show coming out
about the Playboy Bunnies.
Like the early years, there was the Playboy Mansion in Chicago
where Playboy originated.
And then they would have all the Playboy Bunnies
that would hang out in like all the business people
they would own, memberships and go there.
And the lead actress is bisexual.
She's openly bisexual.
She's like, I just love whoever, you know?
And she's super hot. It's a new show. It's a new show that's coming out. It's like, I just love whoever, you know, and she's super hot.
It's a new show.
It's a new show that's coming out.
It's like, I don't know if it's called the mansion or something like that, but it's about
the early years of playboy and about these women who worked at the house.
If it's not the early years, so she's an older woman who was an early, no, okay.
It's set in that time.
Oh, it's always super.
Oh, it's fictional.
It's not a reality show. I assume everything's a reality show. No, no
It's yeah, it's all these hot women and just like about you know the businessman that you should visit the how I love it
Yeah, it's like um blondie used to work there, but she wasn't blonde. Yeah, black hair. She black hair, right? Okay
That's cool. Didn't know it and haven't heard about okay
Let's move into some emails because that's all the sex and the news that I got for you today. All right. I love hearing from the people. These are the peeps gotta say
Emily and menace. I love the show. Thanks for taking your time to create it for us. Isn't that a sweet compliment? Yeah
You both always seemed to have great advice. I'm hoping that you can help me here. I can't get my boyfriend to go out with me
We are both busy adults. He is super stressed with work. I'm trying to be understanding, but I want to do more than just text with him. I'm sick
of not seeing him when he lives less than an hour away. What can I do to explain how not
seeing him is affecting me? I really like him and want to work this through instead of
breaking up. Any advice to be great? Thank you. Thank you, signed Emily. Another Emily.
She's from Seattle and she's a premium friends with benefits member.
So you just just says you know, so you know, if you're friends with benefits member,
we answer your emails first. So okay, Emily, sounds like you guys, I mean, there's more going on
here. You're committed to this guy and he doesn't want to see you like what kind of relationship is
that? I agree. I'd be really frustrated if I were you too,
the texting and sexting does not carry a relationship.
So I think that maybe he's really stressed.
He got a promotion at work.
He's got a lot going on.
But I think that just having a talk with him
and explaining that you didn't say here how often
you're seeing him.
But it's interesting because I'm going to say this
that a lot of
people are like, I've heard this before. Oh my God, I never see him. I only see him twice a week.
And the guy could say, I see her all the time. I see her like twice a week. So you might be
seeing him at a time that feels good for him. He might be like two to three times a week is fine.
So I'm not sure if you guys are having a discrepancy on what is a lot of what and is enough time together. So you need to discuss that, but if you're not getting your needs met and
you never want to see you, it sounds like he's just not that into you and you got to end it.
I'm going to be harsh. If a guy, if she's feeling it, but he might be seeing you as much as he can,
three times a week, two times a week, and it's totally, that's all he can do right now. Maybe he's
going through a phase of work.
So I just think you have to have the dialogue with him.
He only lives us an hour away.
I don't understand.
You said, what can I do to explain
how not seeing him is affecting me?
To me, that seems pretty obvious.
If you're not seeing each other,
you're not in a relationship.
Yeah.
You have to see each other.
It's only an hour. It's only an hour.
It's only an hour.
It's not a big deal.
So I would say, how often is it only the weekends?
And you want one more day during the week.
But I think that you both have to come to a mutual
agreeable amount of time that works for you.
Make a schedule, plan, weeks out.
Maybe he's like one of these people who can't prioritize
and he gets overwhelmed.
And he's like, oh, I meant to see you on Saturday.
But so maybe you guys need to have a calendar.
Like share Google Doc calendar
and create times that you're gonna see each other
and don't break those times.
But if he's like, can't do a pay,
really busy, got basketball this night, got this that night,
then he's not that into the relationship
and he's not willing to prioritize you right now.
And that's a problem because you should be prioritized.
What do you think, Venice?
I think that if you wanted to hang out with you,
he would spend more time more ever.
But again, we're not sure how much time he is spending.
Yeah, honestly.
Honestly, I just had a conversation with someone.
It's bad for me to say that because I never
have time to hang out with anybody.
I know.
That's why you're not in a relationship.
But I literally did say this conversation with them.
And she's a conversation with someone.
And she said, we never have sex.
Or she's like, we've sex all the time.
She was we have sex like twice a week.
And I know that a lot of people, a lot of guys would think that that's not a lot.
So anyway, there's just scrappin' things and what is a lot and what's not a lot.
Okay, dear Emily, how do you make a girl squirt?
Oh, how do you?
Fum Armando in New York.
I love that.
To think to the point, he didn't have any bullshit around it.
OK.
Here's the thing, Armando.
You're talking about female ejaculation.
And there are schools of thought that any woman can learn
to ejaculate.
And I think it's kind of true.
I think that there's certain things you have to do.
Start by using your fingers and playing around and see what works.
Start with foreplay.
First, get her really aroused.
We always love foreplay.
And once she's turned on, it's usually by the G spot
that a woman is able to or to a female ejaculate.
So you can stick two fingers inside of her
with your palm facing up.
About an inch or two inside, you'll hit a ball of skin,
which is like, which is like a little bit little bit which is that's the juice spot. So you'll
feel a little around ball of skin and keep stroking that area with pressure and the most effective
way to have her ejaculate is by using your hands to manipulate the juice spot. A lot of women can
ejaculate during sex but it's great just during intercourse but it's great to start with your hands
and just keep putting pressure on the G-spot.
That is the way you do it.
That is where it comes from, not in it takes practice.
It's just like having a G-spot orgasm or any other kind of orgasm you need to practice,
and practice makes perfect.
So good luck to you.
Don't forget to try clitoral stimulation first, though, because a lot of women, before
they can have a G-spot orgasm or a G-spot ejaculation, they need clitoral stimulation first.
So you can ask you a second to try it.
A clitoral stimulation.
How would you do that?
Are you serious?
No, I'm just saying there's a bunch of different ways.
What ways would you recommend?
Oh, okay, you could use your hand.
Because you're going to say that, but.
You're right.
Oh my God.
Great question.
Great menace.
Thanks for paying attention.
Listen, clitoral stimulation.
First of all, the clitoris, attention. Listen, clitoral stimulation.
First of all, the clitoris, you know, the clitoris,
it has thousands of nerve endings, more nerve endings
than any other part of the body, more than the penis.
The clitoris is the only part of the body that is created
to give the woman female pleasure.
It's only there for pleasure.
So you should get to know it.
Now, you can submit the clitoris by using your hands.
It's good to get them wet using lube,
but lick your fingers or put them in your mouth,
make them wet and use saliva or use lube.
And you rub the clitoris with your fingers,
sometimes not directly, sometimes it's on the side
or different parts of it and you start really soft.
And you just try to see how she feels.
Is she moaning, is she screaming in pain?
Start again, start softer.
Touch a woman five times softer than you think
she actually wants to be touched,
because that's usually about right pressure.
You can also use your mouth, you can use your tongue,
you can perform oral sex in her.
That feels amazing to many women.
A lot of women can have orgasms that way,
through hands or through mouth.
Using your tongue, circling around the clitoris,
a lot of the women can't take direct lateral stimulation,
so it's a little bit on the side or around it,
but it's different for every woman,
so every woman you're with, you're gonna have to try it out
and see what feels good.
But hopefully the woman that you're with masterbates,
and she knows what makes her feel good,
because literally it is different with every single woman.
You watch 10 women, you put 10 women in a room,
and they're all touching their clitoris, and they're all touching it differently. because literally it is different with every single woman. You watch 10 women, you put 10 women in a room,
and they're all touching their clitoris,
and they're all touching it differently.
I usually just put peanut butter on my balls,
and that's how I get stimulation.
Do you?
Should try that with a woman's vagina.
Put peanut butter, sure, or no.
Do not.
Do not say, I was gonna wait till you got that.
Any sugary substance, no whipped cream, no maple syrup, no chocolate sauce, and no peanut
butter near the genitalia, near the vagina.
Because if it gets inside, you can get a bacterial infection, it's really bad for women.
Don't do that.
No crystal oil.
No Vaseline even.
Yeah.
Women's vaginas can get really messed up from stuff like that
I get a little weird out with all the loobs and all that stuff. What do you mean honey?
because
This you do it on the bed and it's like so it's so dirty
I think that you would mess up the sheets with all this loob all over the place
Yeah, I get weird out when I see stuff on television when
with all this lube all over the place. Every time I get weirded out when I see stuff on television
when somebody's laying in bed and then they pour like
oils on them and stuff.
I'm like, you're gonna get oils all over the sheets
and the sheets are gonna be super nasty.
So what, you wash them, sex is messy.
Lube is awesome and I think that everyone should use lube
and you should go to adameneve.com.
They have this amazing lube, they just sent me.
And it's there, if you want water-based lube
or other kinds of lube, but it's in a pump. It's this big. It's this big. And it's a pump.
And it's gonna last me forever. Did you say, did you do a replying, say,
can I get a larger one? No, it's the largest thing of Louvre. Like I doesn't fit
my nightstand. It's so large. Really? I love it. So just gonna leave it on the
nightstand. Yeah, why not? What if? what if it's pretty my hand Lube is messy and it in oils are messy, but sex is messy things squirt
We're talking about a female ejaculation. That's pretty fucking messy
You clean your sheets man. She clean their sheets more often
When you're looking to guys house and you know that the sheets have not been cleaned
That's creepy. We're talking about creepy men. That's dirty and stinky. Because we know guys are like masturbating all the time and you get
in there bed for the first time. You're like, oh my god. Oh please wash your sheets.
Yeah. It just has a nice musky smell to it. I actually had a, it was so funny. My friend, she was watching over some guys house.
And she tweeted, she's like, guys near really clean their sheets.
Like that little girl.
Busted a mouth.
I know, I had a guy, first time I slept with them,
I ended up dating for a while.
This is like, of course, every time we were like,
first time I hung out with this guy,
and then I dated and I had a couple of years.
I did, I did. He's been like,
he's that like guy.
He's that like guy.
With the first time you see that,
but you get it up dating them.
That is a great point because let me tell you something.
My, like my mom always says,
the issues you have on the third date
or sometimes the first that you have forever.
And I'm very first,
okay, I didn't sleep on the first date,
but I maybe I slept with them like on the third date.
Maybe one and a half.
Okay, whatever. I don't remember. There was like a chick, I didn't sleep in the first day, but I maybe I slept with them like on the third day. Maybe one and a half. Okay, whatever.
I don't remember.
There was like a chick, I slept in his bed, and I looked to my left, and there was like
a hair, like a full on, like not just like a rubber band, which get the female, you said
the scrunchies were in.
Yeah, those are lay-in minds, Jumman.
Look for those.
I'm right.
It was like a nice, like a hair clip, like with rhinestones on it, sitting right next to the bed, like on the,
on the my side of the whatever, the part of the bed.
And I was like, didn't you do like a sweep
before you have another woman over, like get rid of the stuff.
So obviously this woman had just left this hair thing there
like the night before or something.
And it kind of grossed me out.
But you ended up sleeping with them for two years.
Yeah, what have?
And it cheated on me, probably.
Oh, cool.
So anyway, look for those kind of land mines
that women leave around so they'll be invited back.
That's what my guys friends say.
I don't think it's true, because I've left stuff
for guys out, so I over apologize.
I'm like, so sorry, I left it there,
because I don't want, there's the theory
that women leave stuff so they'll be invited back.
Yeah, I just the way. Perfect. This guy also had a drawer of
women's underwear that all been left in his house. Oh, that's
great. Classy. Also, well, then you get sometimes guys fears
are like, I don't know where this came from. I don't want to
say, Oh, hey, you left such and such here because I don't know.
This is yours now.
They could be somebody else's.
Oh, I had a guy.
OK.
Exactly.
Oh, so you can't ask them out there.
Yeah.
This guy did this.
So the guy that I no longer seeing,
but that I've been seeing for the last year
of open relationship guy, he's like, oh, I think I have
a pair of your underwear.
Oh, OK.
And I was like, thank you to myself. this is so not a good idea for you.
Because what if they're not mine? So like, it was like the longest one minute
that he went to his class and brought him out. Not mine. Oh, okay.
I'm like, but I think I know who's they are. This other girl, he's eating him like,
she would wear those. I went more of those. And we just kind of he was like, okay, sorry.
Oh, really? Do you know what's fun?
Good times, good times in my life people.
Yeah.
I do wash my sheets, but, but, but, I don't know what it was.
There was one night I was going home with some chick and she had to go to the bathroom
and then I noticed that there was some chick, other chicks underwear on my floor.
And I didn't know what to do.
So I didn't know where to put it because you know I'm always in
Drunk so I come out with the best I guess so I just lifted the mattress super high and I threw it in the middle and I totally forgot about it and
then
This is a year and a half later after I like you know
Been in committed relationships with all this stuff and then I go to like move move my mattress and it's there.
I'm like, Oh my God, I could have been busted so many times.
Oh my God, but you're committed.
Yeah, never found it.
Oh my God, I found that's a good show actually.
Good show topic.
But all the things you found.
I had, Oh my God, I found so many things. I had, I was dating two guys once,
Chong, years ago when I just moved into my apartment
and I, one of the guys didn't know
that I was dating other guys.
Uh huh.
And there was a condom, he was happy to move my bed
and there was, I just moved into my apartment
and there was like a full on,
the cute was happy to move it
and there was a full on condom hanging off,
like a used condom, which usually you should just throw away hanging there and he's like
freaked out and I was like oh no I think that's your it's for it was from you
just moved like you moved a dirty condom like I literally just moved but I'd
stuck with the other guy like the day before such a horror anyway and he found
the condom it was horrifying okay was like, what do you believe
me? I think. And I was like, man, throw away the condoms right away. Okay. I like I like
her friend. You lied for a friend. Yeah. Would you do this? Luckily, they don't listen to
this, but they. One day on this time, like a good day. Just having a good day and then I just get a call
from my buddy's girlfriend.
So did you, you left a condom at a,
at her house?
I'm like, what the hell are you talking about?
And I was like, no, no, no.
And then.
You should've said, yes.
Didn't you know that your friends that are up?
I'm, but I just, just I was so so thrown off.
I'm just like a great day.
Right.
And then I don't think you had a moment to,
you know, react to.
I'm calm.
Menace right now.
Yeah.
I'm like, well, then I go, then he gets on the phone.
He's like, hey, dude, you know you do this all the time.
And I go, oh, yeah, I'm sorry.
Well, you like, you do this all the time.
You go to my house and have sex
and leave condoms around?
Or we're just doing it as a joke.
Oh.
And then, but eventually he came clean.
Oh, okay.
So he cheated on her.
And that's why he didn't cheat on her.
He was like getting a hand.
I don't know.
I don't even get your story.
I don't know what's going on, but I was, I was covering up for a condom that was found.
Right.
Yeah.
That's what dudes do.
That's what dudes do.
There's guy code, not like chicks where they just sell you out.
I don't sell no now.
Unless a man's a vagina and then he sells you out because he wants to sleep with a chick
that you're sleeping with.
And that happens. And I got a fight. I got a fight in high school with that. I got arrested.
You got arrested for what? I think I've told you this story.
Probably, but I don't remember anything. So when I was in high school, there was this girl
that I liked. She had a best friend. We all had a class together. I liked that girl. Her best friend
liked me. They ended up getting an argument not about me and stopped hanging out with each other. I was supposed to go on this ski trip with the girl that I liked and
The rest of school because we had a ski club. I
A week before I was skateboarding. I broke my arms skateboarding. I couldn't go on the trip now a guy that was supposed to be one of my boys
boarding, I couldn't go on the trip. Now a guy that was supposed to be one of my boys ends up going on the trip, he wanted to hook up with that girl. So to have a conversation piece, he said that I was
going around saying that these two girls were fighting over me and I was a pimp and a Mack and
all this stuff, right? I get back to school, everyone's back, these girls aren't talking to me
anymore, they're friends again, and now the older sister of one of the girls wants to be my ass
So my other friends who are my real friends tell me like hey, this is what happened and he was trying to say girls aren't loyal
I'm talking about the guys that are there pussy's because they have no game and they have to like hate on other guys
so I end up, conferring them, telling them what's up,
and I go, I know everything,
and we ended up,
he ended up like kidding me,
and then I ended up punching him
in the face three times, breaking his nose,
and then I had to,
to the,
I had a go and give a sworn statement, all this stuff.
Oh my god.
But he hit me first,
and luckily we, all my friends
and I were video nerds,
so we, That's hot. They had, they had they had a video camera and they video tape it from beginning to end and then so it showed like he hit me first
Oh, beat us. That's a me know so I want to see a picture of you in high school and never got out of it
Huh, I want to see a picture of you in high school. Okay. I guess I just think that you'd be cute
Thank you. Okay, we've got time for Ksu because today we're going a little over because we started late
So we've got another because we got to get our topic, but I got one more email that I want to read what you're here because it's about us
And I think we need to talk about it. All right
Hey, uh from SF
Kudos for having the show almost every day. I always I always look forward to it
I'd listen to the show from quite a while back. You guys
are cool together. You and Menace, but lately I can hear more tension between you guys.
I feel like Menace attacks Emily too much with the whole Pali Amory.
Oh, you wanted to bring this up.
Listen Menace. It's a serious. I am serious. I feel like Menace attacks Emily too much
with the whole Pali Amery, guys with ponytails,
wine drinking with friends, etc.
And now I can hear that Emily attacks back saying that menis doesn't have sex enough, drinks
too much, etc.
What's going on guys?
Signed NN.
Menis, what's going on with us?
Because they're from San Francisco so they're like, oh, don't don't bag on polyamory. Oh, and don't bag on
You know the foodie lifestyle that people live here. It doesn't matter for the yelling at me for wearing the same gray tank every day
It would be
What we do are having issues he thinks and I want to know if we
Know do you feel that we've gotten more
Tense tense between I don't know that's what he thinks no
I just know listeners have been listening for years. I just think that you know we get to do the show more often
True everyday so we're spugging each other more not there were bugging each other more, but we're just you hate me. I don't hate you
I just think that it's
It gives us the option to be more real. You know, kids, through, when we do a weekly show, everything's like, oh my god.
It was weekly before.
I'm so happy to see you and blah, blah.
And now we're like, hey.
What was that?
This is what the hell is going down.
I just think it just gives us the option to be.
But I wonder if it's jarring, like, he doesn't like it.
If this guy doesn't like it, maybe we should be more loving.
Oh, let's literally let's hold hands and agree on the same thing.
And maybe you shouldn't bag on me for all of my wine drinking.
That's what I feel.
Why can I say it?
I know.
But it seems that there's more tension.
I think it's interesting.
Because people used to always say, like, oh,
you guys seem so good and so happy.
And now we see more tents. Oh, you're not happy? and so happy. And now we see more tents.
Oh, you're not happy?
I'm happy. I'm happy. I love doing this.
I think it's fun. And you love me.
And I love you too, but like, why can't,
if I think something's funny, why can't I make fun of you?
I don't know.
You can make fun of me.
Follow Emily.
Yeah.
Follow Emily.
But I guess it's funny.
Why goes to that crap?
That's how I feel.
You do it now.
Because you know what?
This is the way I feel, in my opinion,
which is not going to affect you people
who ever wants to be a poly-M-ray relationship,
it's not going to stop you from having a poly-M-ray relationship.
OK?
That's just how I feel.
And this is, you know what?
I know, but I'm just saying.
We live in America and luckily.
You're amazing.
What?
It's not about that.
It's about me and you. I think we need to have a little, what? It's not about that, it's about me and you.
I think we need to have like a little mini therapy session.
A mini therapy session, you and your therapy.
I love therapy, love therapy, so good.
Can you see how healthy it's made me,
all the therapy I had?
Yeah, totally.
I'm a pitamized health, mental health.
What, do you want us to be more lovey-dovey?
No, I don't know, I'm just kidding.
Okay, I'm gonna, I'll change it up for the last couple of minutes.
OK.
You look so beautiful today.
Let's continue the show.
Thank you.
I love when guys tell me I'm beautiful.
Don't you?
You never tell me that.
Oh my god.
You never told me that.
I don't even know if you might think I'm ugly.
I don't even know.
You're very beautiful.
Thank you. Oh, that's so sweet. I feel good. I don't even know if you might think I'm ugly. I don't even know. You're very beautiful. Thank you.
Oh, that's so sweet.
I feel good.
I feel really good.
This is very entertaining.
Go ahead.
OK.
OK, well, we did start in our, we have five minutes.
We do have five minutes, and it sucks that we have five minutes, because I would like
to spend more time together.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I know, and I'm sad that you're leaving.
I know.
You're going to LA. You brought a kid with your suitcase and was cried because to me that met
I knew you were just leaving.
Yeah.
Do you have a 8 by 10 photo that I can keep in my backpack so I can put it?
I actually do.
Okay good because I need to put it in my backpack so when I'm missing you I can just look
at it.
Hopefully we can Skype all the time.
Should I just do anything we can Skype?
Yeah.
I could just sex you.
That'd be cool.
I could sex you naked pictures or something.
Oh no you'd want naked.
But I just want to face.
No, I just, I love you without the sex team.
You know, yeah.
I could give you a head shot.
Really, if you, I could run back to my office.
OK, I would love to have one of those.
I'll sign it.
Cool.
Cool.
Awesome.
We're going to talk about today what makes a guy creepy.
Totally. I hate creepy guys.
I hate them.
And I hate when creepy guys talk to you.
It makes me sad.
I think puppies die when that happens too.
Me too.
Okay, man.
What makes a guy creepy?
What does make a guy creepy?
In this large and competitive world of dating,
women can't help but keep their guard up against guys
that lack a certain charm.
There are a lot of creepy men out there.
I understand that it can be intimidating.
What did you say?
All men should be charming, giving, and thoughtful.
They should be.
Yeah.
And they should give a lot of compliments.
I think the problem is, they should. Yeah. Do you know that a lot of compliments. They should. Yeah.
Do you know that this guy, the one of the guys, the guy that I'm dating, whatever, the
guy that I like, he compliments me every day, since we taxed?
That's beautiful.
I love it.
As he should.
As he should.
It was like, yeah, this was not creepy.
This morning, I think he said something to the effect of, I can't find it right now.
It was something the effect of your hot.
And I loved it.
I was like, I'm hot.
Okay.
So I understand that you might be creepy guys.
I don't think know that they're creepy.
So this is kind of a service, like a public service announcement
for men to pay attention right now.
So if you're a guy and you're listening to this and you're like,
I don't know what's that because I'm not creepy.
You might be creepy.
So are you creepy?
Let's listen.
Number one, let's talk about it.
Too close too soon.
This happens far too often for man to be a close talker.
A guy will assume that since a bar is loud that he has to invade your space in order
for you to hear him
News flash we can hear you and we'd appreciate it if you'd stop spitting on me with your garlic fries and beer breath
We'd appreciate that. I was watching sex in the city was Yeah, I was watching sex in the city once and
They totally didn't like this one guy because he was a close talker and he had bad breath
Yeah, fellas look out for that. It's called mints.
Mints, have this happened to their night.
My friend was like, really into the sky?
And she said, he's got the worst breath.
I can't talk to him ever again.
She's like, I liked your fun.
I thought he was cute in his breath.
She had some really funny line of wave describing it.
I can't but it was, but it was like,
your his breath is like death, but it was funny
more than that, because I can't where it was.
So yeah, close talkers. There's a lot of close talkers out there. I don't know how you don't know that you're not a close talk death, but it was funnier than that, because I can't remember what it was. So yeah, close talkers.
There's a lot of close talkers out there.
I don't know how you don't know that you're not a close talker,
but just even, the people who are close talkers
and when they're not even in a car to bar.
So just measure yourself.
There's gotta be some kind of like universal measurement,
like that you could do like an arm's length away or something.
Okay, number two.
I have an autistic friend.
Oh, sorry.
He's a very lesbian.
No, he's a very loving gentleman.
What is he?
He, when he goes to the fast food restaurant,
he likes to put both hands,
in his palms, of his hands, on the counter,
lean over to the person that he's given the order to, like, almost where
he's whispering in that person's ear and give his order.
It is quite interesting.
So that is a close talker.
That is close talker.
And I think people who are close talkers are close talkers with everyone too.
I don't think it's just women.
So it's kind of like an impairment and someone should write them an anonymous email and tell
them if you have a close talk or friend you should let them know.
I'd like to say listen, you close talking mother fucker.
Please back the FF.
Back the FF.
Okay.
The next one, what makes a guy creepy too much in the know?
Isn't it scary when someone knows all about you before you divulge the information?
Like they Skype, they Google you, they Facebook Facebook to they everything you before you meet them so we're all like guilty we all do a
little Google Facebook a little whatever but he's like oh it's interesting that
in six years ago or high school you're the I noticed your favorite book is the
giving tree I like the right hungry caterpillar so I think that it's just good
to keep that stuff to yourself and not to be like, I think
that maybe some guys could think that a woman thinks that's flattery, that you know so much,
but we just think it's creepy.
Yeah.
I hate creepy guys.
The guys that, you know, will this be an enormous set of, hey, look at the rack on that
chick, you know, I check out that.
Look at the ass love.
Those are the latches.
I'm like, I don't like the round those people.
You don't like that chick, you're not that dude.
I love that you're not that dude.
You're not like the, you're not the like
the cheat, lurky, staring.
Yeah.
That's the next one actually.
I don't like that.
I hate being staring.
Staring.
And I'm like, I'm happy like none of my friends are like that either.
Like we can like look at each other like
knowing without saying anything like,
oh, that chick is super hot.
Not say, oh my God.
And like we don't have to just,
we don't have to describe her body, you know.
Totally got it.
If you find yourself describing
chick's bodies to other dudes, then you might be a creep.
So guys, I assume that guys,
well, what if I, your buddies, like,
are you ever with a close friend out of the bar?
You're talking and you're like, hey,
she is great.
Like, you're talking about a girl that you like.
Would you ever say she's really nice?
No, see, that's the problem.
They're like, you, you women, I'm going to say you women.
You women.
You think that we go into this deep description
of our sex life, but no, that's you guys.
You guys are filthy.
Oh yeah, we break it down.
You're filthy.
Guys just, we're not filthy.
We're just very detailed oriented.
You're like, I hit it, yep, I hit it.
Like yeah.
That's it, don't go into like, oh, you know,
I did this and that.
Yeah, we're like, okay, so when I orgasmed I was on the bottom
But then I moved to the top and then I gave him a blowjob and then he turned around and yeah, we get all the details never
Never talk like that ever. Yeah, that's what we do
But we don't have sports to talk about and stuff so we talk about men's penises
Okay, not that we don't talk about sports. Staring. Staring is creepy. There are two types of staring
There's macro-staring and micro-staring.
Macro-staring is staring at the entire package.
He looks you up and down.
Undresses you with his eyes and you feel like you're in an old mansion with one of those
portrait of the scary old man whose eyes value wherever you go.
I'm looking at you naked right now.
I know.
Then there's the micro-staring which means he fixed it in a particular area of your body.
Basically, the guy who constantly stares at your cleavage.
God. So just look at my eyes. Look at my eyes.
Time may have nice eyes and don't look at my eyes or my boobs.
I still can't let it go this one time that I accidentally like right when I met this girl for the first time.
I've like stared at her cleavage and it wasn't it's just like my eyes like was a tractor beam
to that and I didn't mean to do that and I know that she saw me do that
and that was the first time I ever. I know what happened. You've talked about that all the time.
You're like traumatized by that. I am. Could you stir to the boobs because why you just were or what
happened. You were what? I was meeting her for the first time. Right. And then like I was walking
up to her and just my eyes just like went down and like stayed there too long
but it just
It just feels like oh my god. That's their first impression that she ever got at me
It's not I'm not trying to date this person at all
It's just like I see her a lot and I think she's really cool and I still
She does have a nice but I don't want her to think like interesting
I am here to check out her racks We should have her on the show one time move. I should just let it all out. but I don't want her to think like I am here to check out a rack
We should have her on the show one time. I should just let it all out. You should do you want a collar? No, she's in a wire
Oh, whatever. Okay, so and then we're gonna have to do the rest of this tomorrow, but I can do one more
Okay, cuz you won't be here tomorrow. What you won't be here tomorrow. I will not actually
It's basically sad because I really want you to comment maybe we could save this all my all my friends out in Los Angeles
I'll be coming soon so excited hopefully on one of you
You better do something
I think that I don't I'm getting a new friend having sex as hilarious. Okay
Complimenting body parts by body parts. I don't mean eyes or hair
Those are some body parts that could be considered like tell me I have nice eyes or you like my hair even though my hair is really bad right now
Even though they do it wrong. They some guys can't even I know it's wrong
I believe your hair is beautiful. Really. Yeah, you're just saying that some guys can't avoid complimenting a woman's boobs
If you can't completely see that part of a woman's body don't compliment it. That's the rule
If you can't see it don't compliment it nice ass's the rule. If you can't see it, don't compliment it. Nice ass,
nice boobs. Nice tits, girl. Yeah. We're going to have to continue this on another day.
What makes you happy? And you know what? Do you know what else that sets me that guys do?
And has this ever worked in the history of men and women? When you like whistle out of check or you go,
you make some kind of noise when you're walking by.
I know, construction workers, whole whole thing.
Guys, hey, baby, come stay with us, come stay with us.
Has a woman just go, hey, you know what,
I need to go spread my legs right now, let's go.
Like, that has never worked.
Ever.
And I hate it when that happens when I'm with some women and we're walking down
the street and some guy makes a comment like what am I supposed to do now? Yeah that's
just what does he think that she's gonna be like oh sorry men said these guys are cackling
you know, cackling at me. I hate that too. I hate when guys like make comments and whistle
or they're like hey come sit with us like you know in this group of guys that are like
we walked up and down the street every time we go,
we walk eight minutes every day from my office to the studio
and everyone's outside.
And there are some times when guys are like,
hey, hey, come sit with us.
It's just not gonna work that way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, that's all we've got time for.
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Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily.
It was a good for you.
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