Sex With Emily - Episode 294 - Crazy Sex Accidents
Episode Date: September 15, 2011Whether it’s vaginal prolapses or the daily habits that cause erectile dysfunction, today we’re talking the craziest sex accidents you won’t believe. In more pleasant news, Emily helps a woman a...chieve her first 3 orgasms (listener got tips from the show), and a new book claims Sarah Palin gets around (not the library, ironically). Tune in to learn the top reason for divorce, how to plan a threesome, where to not hide your keys or guns, and why you shouldn’t shave and drive. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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I
Look into his eyes
They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex
Eyes that block our secret institutions
Betrubized they call them in a bygone way hey, Emily
You got a boyfriend because my man E here. He just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute
The girls got a hair stand. Oh my the women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way?
What do you mean like laundry?
It's shrink?
Can we not talk about sex so much?
Are you kidding me?
Oh my god.
I'm so, so, so.
Being bad feels pretty good.
But you know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.
Hello.
Hello.
You're listening to Sex Thumbly.
Are we good?
Yeah, but you're really loud.
What else is new?
Okay, we're playing with the sound, but you're listening to Sex Family.
Sorry, people.
Sorry.
Sometimes people use a studio.
They shouldn't let people into our studio.
And that's not really our studio anyway.
It's the Stitcher Studio, or it's Stitcher.
I know.
And you can download their app for your iPhone or your smartphone anytime you want and listen
to Sex Family.
So, if you're a friend's your friends benefits memory you can log in.
All right. Well, that was a good start.
That was a great start. Everyone's awake now. That's a good thing.
Okay, you're listening to sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships.
Everything in between. Go to sexthemely.com or find your office.
It's EmilyMorse.com because your boss might not want you going to a sex website.
You're blocked. So anyway.
It's not a really pornographic website.
It's not pornographic at all, but they don't companies block it if it has sex in the title.
Those cock blocking bastards.
Those cock blocking back exactly.
They cock blocked you from sex with Emily.
That sucks.
So bad.
Thanks everyone for listening.
Today's show we're talking about crazy sex accidents.
They're just hilarious.
Penis and vagina accidents, if you will get into it, women and men with their- Today's show we're talking about crazy sex accidents. They're just hilarious.
Penis and vagina accidents, if you will get into it, women and men with their...
These are the things that I want to talk about the other day and you're like, I don't know
what you're talking about.
Oh, I don't think you explained it right.
What are you talking about?
Anyways.
I'm really excited to hear this stuff.
Yeah, it's really funny.
I just was reading someone that was, yeah, it's funny.
So that's today's show and And then tomorrow's free Friday,
so everyone can tune in and listen to the free show.
What?
You look to me.
I thought you were going,
tomorrow's not Friday.
No, no, no, I thought.
We had that annoyed menace look on your face for a second.
No, no, no, no.
I'm good.
Can't wait till people can see your face too.
Hey, we gotta talk to our friends
that help us produce the show.
Yes, you will.
We'll do that very soon.
We'll add it to the list.
That's up to them.
If you're listening.
If you're listening.
If you're listening.
The people want it.
People want it.
People want to see menace as cute face.
Oh, no.
Yes, they do.
You're so cute.
You gotta let me know before the camera gets here.
And we've got to pull.
Okay, well.
And we've got a new, we've not, no, it's on new poll.
It's, it's poll and existing poll.
It's been a cycle of a new poll tomorrow.
But have you ever had a threesome?
No, but I'd like to.
Yes, but it was not fun.
Not, no, not my thing. And yes, I'm excited for my next one.
So go vote on our poll now because we want to know.
What you I like to have somebody jump on my poll right now. Yeah. What's your poll?
My flesh poll that I'm having currently in the city. What do you mean? Sorry, I, I mean, my kind of,
like, delirious phase when I get tired,
I'm just like all over the place. No, I just add a problem sleeping. So I'm just going to be
here with you. But I might sound like a homeless man that's on drugs. I love it. Yeah, it's very
San Francisco view. I'm just like, yeah, I'm just whatever. Let's do this. We're in the show.
Don't get distracted by me.
Let's keep moving forward.
Let's do the show.
You know why I was affected because you said something
and your face didn't match what you were saying.
So I thought that you're coming something.
No, I thought I saw somebody that I knew.
Oh, so you're having hallucinations now?
I'm just having hallucinations.
You're having hallucinations because you've been slapped.
Kids, there's windows by the studios.
How many hours has sleep did you get? Uh, I know like three.
That's not true.
I tried to go to bed early, but there's so many things to do.
Did you roommate there?
Did you roommate there?
No.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Anyways.
I was out till one in the morning.
Really?
What were you doing?
I was out.
I went to-
Don't throw out stuff if you ain't gonna share.
I'm sharing. I wasn't doing anything crazy. I mean, I was out drinking and having was out, I went to- Don't throw out stuff if you ain't gonna share. I'm sharing, I wasn't doing anything crazy.
I mean, I was out drinking and having good time.
I went to two parties, I went to a party
for this new, really cool, bowling alley
that's opening in the mission.
What?
Yeah, it was a party before they opened it,
it was like for people who wanted to see the space
and learn more about it.
Thanks for inviting me.
I would have loved it.
Yeah, it's cool.
And it's a mission.
And so restaurant bowling alley hasn't opened yet, but they were like, they're looking
for investors or whatever.
So when is it open?
I don't know.
I just was eating the food.
I wasn't really paying attention to the speeches.
I think it's opening probably in the next year.
Six months.
I want to see it.
It's really cool.
But it's a hipster bowling alley food beer. it. It's really cool. But it's a hipster, bowling alley food, beer,
you know, stuff like that. It's very cool space. And then we drank a lot. And the most well-known
chefs are the famous chefs in the nation there now. Like it was cooking meals for everyone.
At the bowling. At the bowling space. Because it's like this amazing chef attached to the restaurant.
Because it's a restaurant and a bowling space. Yeah, they have those. They have one downtown Los Angeles.
They do?
Yeah, it's a fancy bowling place,
slash restaurant.
Right.
It's called LA Live.
So if you visit Los Angeles, California,
they have it there.
And then they have one, believe in San Jose.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
They have a lot of these at school.
We have one in the Presidio, but it's not the same thing. That's like a real bowling alley
This is like a hip hip space. I can imagine watching you try to bowl. I'm terrible or I go of Michigan and versus
I'm listening because you probably don't love bowling like I do
Oh, yeah, my dad was super into bowling when I was young
I'm going to be bowling out of all of this shot up little matters the bowling alley That's so cute. I didn't of bowling alley all the time. Shut up, little man, it's the bowling alley.
That's so cute.
I didn't know that.
I grew up, my parents were in a bowling league too,
but I never got into it.
But yeah, I didn't, my, it just didn't.
But I should be a good baller,
because I'm from Michigan known for like a lot of bowling,
but I never did it.
I think Garbos, Garbos, really bad at it.
But I gotta do it more.
I should embrace my Michigan bowling background.
I know, well, I didn't.
Something fun, other than. I should embrace my Michigan bowling background. I know. I didn't. Something fun. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know and handsome. And which I smoke to cigarette, which I haven't done in a really long time and I'm
trying to throw it.
Why would you do that?
I don't know because it's just looked fun and then it makes me sick all day.
And I was out with a bunch of friends and it was super fun.
And we were walking around the street, Sam, for just going, walking from one place to
the next.
I need to get in this bowling alley now.
Okay, I'll take you there.
Okay.
I'll take you there.
My friends and friends charge the thing, the operation.
So yeah, that's right there.
What'd you do?
You're up to one amp.
You couldn't sleep.
What were you really doing?
Are you ready to share?
No, seriously.
I just decided to just kind of sleep.
I was like really tired yesterday and then I just went home.
I didn't even, I can't even tell you what I was watching on TV Oh, so tired and really into sharing when I saw on television
You want to share what you're showing television? No, I saw I'm really into that
But I can't remember what I was okay. Well, I hope you get some sleep tonight
We have to talk about oh so
That we'll be doing a live show at Treasure Island
Oh, so like it's really a lot happening. Yeah, oh sweet
I was thinking about you,
because I was thinking to my mind
that you probably went to some music festival
this weekend, but it's not even the weekend.
Like I was thinking, now,
because I haven't seen you since yesterday,
since two days ago.
I was thinking like you've done something.
I'm out of it too.
That's not good.
You and I have to be.
Yeah, so really out of it.
But anyway, I was thinking.
Let's give it a go.
Treasure Island music festival.
All right, I'm gonna turn.
I'll be driving. You're gonna take the wheel right right now because I was trying to give you the wheel and the wheel is all over the place like a crazy woman.
So anyways, this is a really exciting. There's a music festival here. I think it's gonna be the fourth year. Don't quote me where they have a music festival on Treasure Island. So Treasure Island is actually
Island in the middle of the bay that's in between Oakland, California and San Francisco, California,
and they bring on a bunch of acts to play on this island. And it's really cool. And I think the
headliners this year are Empire Emperor of the sun and dev cap for cutie.
I love that type of cutie.
You would.
And apparently you know somebody that's throwing the help for the festival and they're going
to let us do a show there.
Yes, we're going to be doing a show there.
That's going to be really cool.
So I'm going to maybe try to make some calls and see if I can get anybody famous to stop
that.
That would be awesome.
I would love that.
So what people if you're going or come and just go for this festival, it's amazing. We're going to stop that. That'd be awesome. I would love that. So what people, if you're going or come
and just go for this festival, it's amazing.
We're going to be there.
Yeah, come say hi.
Look for us.
Come say hi.
And then, yeah, it'll be fun.
Thanks.
We're have a good time.
I haven't been to tell you that.
I figured I could just tell you now that it's all happening.
And then my book lunch party too is happening,
but I don't want it to be in your birthday.
When's your birthday again?
October 28.
28.
OK.
OK, avoiding that. Because I'm doing my book lunch just coming out. It's called Hot Sex. You can pre-order it to be in your birthday. When's your birthday again, October 28th. Okay, avoiding that.
Cause I'm doing my book lunch is coming out.
It's called Hot Sex.
You can pre-order it now on Amazon or wherever,
but it's a doing book, big book party.
There's a lot of sex with Emily stuff coming up
that I want people to be a part of.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Are you gonna have performers DJs?
What's gonna be on it?
I don't know.
Do you want DJs?
No, I want DJs.
You have to be there and walk out really.
I haven't really, I haven't really,
I have needs to plan it. I'm not a big party planner, but I have to be there and walk it really like I haven't really I have need to plan it
I'm not a big party planner, but I need to plan this party. I'm helping plan a birthday party for my
My coworker for her birthday party. Oh really? Yeah, aren't you guys don't you guys do a birthday party together?
Yeah, but I said I don't want it. I don't want to be a part of it this year. I
Don't know who this is. I'm not gonna get it. It should be off anyway. It should be off anyway.
Yeah. Okay.
Are you on drugs?
Like, what the hell, man?
Like, your ADD, D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D.
I know. I know.
I know. I know. Really?
Yeah. It's very hard to like get through.
It is. Okay. Maybe I should take a few moments.
Let's get together.
Let's turn off the phone. You and me together. We're doing a show. Okay, maybe I should take a few moments. Let's get together. Turn off the phone.
You and me together. We're doing a show. Okay. Turn it on. No one's that important. They can talk to you.
It's off. I didn't know it was on. We were running a little late today. There's a lot going on.
Okay. There's a lot going on. You're like, what's going on? It's a brief. Really? Yeah. I mean,
it's just it's just all work crazy stuff happening. Like people. You always say that stuff and then
you do break it down. Okay. Really? Like there's stuff that we can't really talk about. But I It's just all work crazy stuff happening like people You always say that stuff and then you go down
Okay, really like there's stuff that we can't really talk about but I we are can I talk about I talk about it
I mean I'm okay book coming out party the treasure island thing and writing rewriting bunch stuff for the website
There's gonna be some cameras here shooting some things and stuff like that So whatever boring so
but between
One p.m. And two p.m. I don't need to like meditate outside the door
I don't need you to worry about that stuff. I'm not worried. I just my brain is um I
Don't need to worry about that. I'm not worried. I feel great. I'm here with you
Yeah, but you were sleeping you told me and then I think I got I was gonna just let you take the wheel let me comment I think I got, I was gonna just let you take the wheel, let me comment.
What did you say?
I was gonna just let you take the wheel,
and I was gonna comment,
but obviously that can't happen.
No, that can't happen,
but now you're calling,
and now you're saying that I'm ADDs,
and I'm really super conscious
and trying to be super focused,
but it's like,
I guess I'm not in a draw.
Okay, let's get into the section of the news.
Okay, what do you got?
Okay, and then we've got emails and things like that.
Okay, I'm coming down. I'm here.
I'm here to help.
You're here in your present.
Okay, I'm sweating now.
Survey reveals the real reasons couples get divorced.
The real reason.
According to the 2011 UK Survey, the number one reason couples divorce.
What do you think it is?
The love is gone.
Yes, they fall out of love.
Bumping extramarital affairs from its long-standing
eight years to be exact number one spot.
Isn't it interesting?
It just moved from falling out of love
from extramarital affairs, which is what you think.
So a survey has found that couples are more willing
to work through a partner's sexual indiscretions
and they are through a through dry loveless relationship
but i think a lot of it too is just
they don't try
they don't try
because one of them is going to find some other hot chick or hot guy
on facebook and they're going to be focusing all their energy
and their love
on that
thinking about their situation and thinking their situation sucks instead of not being online and
Working on it right there with the person that you married that you went through all this stuff
And I was actually talking with my assistant today
Where her and I are gonna start being pissed when people get divorced that we went to their wedding
You may have sit through all that crap
and get the free food.
For a gift.
All right.
And then now you get divorced, like that's a bunch of crap.
Yeah, so what are you gonna do?
Like, I don't know.
Throw a hate party or something.
I started hate campaign, hate mail campaign.
You start just talking shit openly.
Right, be like that.
I'm like, really?
I had to sit through your boring ass wedding
and then you,
You're right, I had to go to the church and do something.
You're wedding sucked. And now you're getting divorced, that is awful
No, it should be harder to get divorced, it should be harder to get married and divorced
The whole thing, I get it, I get it, you're right, you're absolutely right
And I'm trying to think how many weddings I've been to people go to divorced
Several, including my parents, four of my parents' weddings
Sweet
Yeah
I attended four of my parents' weddings for us 25, that was a good time
So anyway, I come from, yeah, the divorce.
So they, they, I don't know.
I'm nervous.
Okay, so anyway, I'm surprised.
Oh, so I have a lot of friends right now who are married.
This is what I was gonna say.
And they are going through this whole, what is love?
I have my best friend from growing up.
She's been with someone for like 10, 15 years.
She's just coming.
She's like, I need to know what love is.
I don't understand. They're all, they've been together now a while 10-15 years, she's just coming there. She's like, I need to know what love is. Like, I don't understand. Like, they're
all like, they've been together now a while and it's, it's, you have to work on it. I
agree. And that's how we do the show. Because we, I really want people to, who have been
together a long time to not just throw the relationship in the toilet for some Facebook
X that you.
I know. And that stuff never works out.
It never works out. But you know what the thing is the weird, I was talking about this
last night is that what they miss
is they miss the butterflies that you get when you start dating someone new.
So people are addicted to the newness thing, you don't get that when you're with someone,
but that's okay, you rekindle it within your relationship.
And you do some of these sex tips that we give every day.
And you bring it into your relationship.
There's actually a viral video that just started flowing around today.
I don't know if you heard about it, but it's this old couple.
They're trying to figure out how to take a photo of themselves with the computer, but they
accidentally hit record video.
So they're just like talking and they're looking through their other photos.
And the old man is like, you look you look really good there your hair looks really good and
You know you should have you know pull down your dress a little bit and let the the boob show a little bit more and
They're like they're
Have to be mid-semities. Okay. That's so good. Yeah, so it's the couple going honey
I can't quit for the bottom but it's on and then they're like so there's going back and forth and they're flirting with each other and stuff like that
It's it's pretty cute pretty funny if they sure having sex right there on the computer. Yeah, this is like type
On YouTube maybe old people
Can't use computer
Okay, I love that you can put it up on sex at only dotcom right yeah, we need to do more stuff like that. That's a great idea
That's cute. Okay. Six surprising habits I could hurt a man sex life
Okay, I wonder if you're doing any of these menace in the past direct out of this function which affects 20 to 30 American
Million American men has been chalked up to factors like anxiety stress smoking in bad hygiene
Well, vagran other pills can offer solution, there's something else men can do
to ensure they perform better in bad check their habits.
So take bikers, for example,
men who bikes more than three hours a week
risk damage to certain nerves.
A hard bike seat can compress the perennium.
Wow, men who forget to floss their teeth.
So flossing teeth is huge too.
Men who forget to floss their teeth
increase the bacteria in their gums.
You have to floss disruptive snoring.
That helps me not get a weiner.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
A boner, sorry.
That helps you not get a boner.
I'm sure you have a weiner, but.
Not get I lose my weiner for not flossing.
Flossing is huge.
It can add six or seven years to your life.
Yeah, you lose your erection
because you haven't been flossing.
What?
Yeah, flossing is huge. That is the most important thing you could do for your life. Yeah, you lose your erection because you haven't been flossing. What? Yeah, flossing is huge. Like that is the most important thing you could do for your health.
Doctors say that's all the time. Have you ever seen this? It's heard studies about
flossing. Yeah.
My family is like obsessed with it. Like you have to flost your teeth. And, um, yeah, it's
important. And now everyone will, man, maybe that's the big reason, okay? The biggest
one. Disruptive snoring or sleep apnea is a red flag too. Mention also be cautious what medicines they're taking, erectile dysfunction, I mean antidepressants,
blood pressure, lowering drugs, is a side effect of money antidepressants, whatever.
Serotonin, lastly, if they have any pelvic injuries or severe trauma.
So just eat fresh foods, it says, and do stuff like that.
Do keglock exercises.
You can buy my keglock camp app.
Work out, work out, eat well.
It's all the things that are good for everything,
but it's not just what people think.
I told you I stopped drinking soda,
and I feel so much better already.
So does this mean that you're not having caffeine at all
or you're still having caffeine?
I, these are what I'm really tired,
but I need to stay up.
I'll have maybe one red bull sugar free.
I love sugar free red bull.
Or I'll have a five hour energy.
But that's it.
So in the morning, we'll have it.
So in the morning, were you drinking sodas too?
Yeah.
I'll drink sodas all the time, 24 seven.
And you just started to get headaches and was it all?
How did you not? We didn? No. How did you not?
We didn't.
How did you not have like caffeine withdrawal and all that stuff?
Because I want to give up stuff, coffee and...
I'm just like a cold turkey person.
Yeah, I wonder how long it's gonna last.
You'll be drinking soda maybe in a few weeks.
No, I get sober.
You've done this before, see?
That's what I mean.
No, I've done things like that before.
Like what I want to remember, I stopped.
I was one day I was like, oh, I'm going to stop eating meat.
I stopped eating meat for a year and a half.
Wow.
I can just...
That's amazing.
I just can cut things off.
You just turn on our...
You can cut people off too.
Yeah, that's why I don't understand addiction too.
Right.
It's very hard for me to understand.
Because you just stop it.
You just stop it.
Yeah, just stop it.
There's so many psychological things to addiction. That's that's impressive
I can I'm not great with that stuff. I try to quit things and it's hard
I'm working on it. Okay. New Sarah Paylon biography. Did she cheat on Todd? I heard right about this
What do you think? Did she cheat?
Joe McGuinness is highly anticipated Sarah Paylon back back. The biography is almost here
And the first leaks are setting the bar pretty high
The National Quarer Reports one of the book describes palens alleged drug use and sexual
exescapades who hasn't used drugs and sexual acts really
like it's not a biography of someone didn't have drug use or sexual
they said she's done coke
she was doing coke and she was
she smoked marijuana with a professor
that makes me like her more
she snorted cocaine
often oil drum.
Yeah.
She had a one-h'd-stand with NBR star Glenn Rice, who reportedly confirms the encounter.
And she cheated on Tow with his snowmobile dealer and business partner.
That's hilarious.
Of course, it was a snowmobile dealer in Alaska.
That's hilarious.
I like her more if she does.
That makes her more interesting.
She's a human being. She's human. She's not like this perfect, like, stuff her more if she does. That makes her more interesting. She's a human being.
She's human.
She's not like this perfect, like stuff
for what?
No one's perfect.
Nobody's perfect.
Nobody's perfect.
She's smoked.
Yeah, I think that's great.
Good for Sarah Palin, whatever.
People will like her more.
She'll get more votes.
I don't condone the cheating stuff.
No, we don't need to.
That's very horrid.
But going out and party and then doing co-occurring,
smoking weed, hell yeah. Yeah, I mean college
So Sarah Palin, but I guess it I mean people will read it because people love that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah
Talk deep to me, baby bear-to-beau voices help women's memory
Apparently women remember objects that are presented in more accurately when they are introduced by a deep male voice as
opposed to a higher pitched male voice,
the study conducted by David Smith says that are the are mate choice and the accuracy of women's
memory that the first time okay, it shows the first hand and a low masculine voice is important both
in terms of mate choice and so we choose our mates based on their voice like men more to style
to have higher voices. Yeah, but to remember objects and stuff like that. To remember objects.
like men mortgaged house. Yeah, but to remember objects and stuff like that.
To remember objects.
Can you just, you know,
that's weird because, you know,
if I bring a bunch of girls into a shop
that has a gay guy selling stuff,
he'll sell everything.
That's kind of true, that's really gay.
That's kind of true, that's really gay.
He has to say and more.
He will sell them the entire makeup counter.
Yeah, but they don't have to, yeah, that's true.
Maybe they're just in a days like they don't, they're not actually seeing what they're like. They don't have to, yeah, that's true. Maybe they're just in a day's,
like they're not actually seeing what it is.
They don't have a shopping here,
we're talking about other things.
Apparently women, so the objects from it,
but it's like, I think it's like how they learn things
and stuff too.
Like good memory, like if you're trying to read,
if you're gonna learn a new task or something,
I have a van.
I gotta look for teachers with deep voices.
They actually learn something.
Exactly, but another study from March 2011 has found that when choosing a partner, women believe
that the lower a man's voice, the more likely he will cheat.
What?
Deep male voices indicate higher testosterone levels, which are tied to adulterous behavior,
according to the researchers.
Same thing goes for higher female voices, except for with estrogen levels.
They're more likely to cheat.
Do I have a high voice?
I used to. Do I still have a high voice? I used to.
I mean, do I still have a high voice?
I don't think so.
When I was little, I sounded like I was sucking on helium.
Really?
So wherever I went, people were like, oh my God,
she sounded like I would talk like this.
I have a tape of it somewhere.
My voice was like this, and it was really grating, I think.
It was cute, but then it would, I sounded like Mickey Mouse.
But you wouldn't think my voice was high right now.
No, I'm not good.
Because I don't want to be more likely to be a cheater.
So we like lower voices.
Well, the girls with the higher voices
they think are a lot ditty, ditty-er.
Right.
And then Dixie girls, you always think are cheaters too.
Yeah, we say, OK, yeah, that's true.
I always thought that I had high voice,
but I'm glad I don't anymore.
So anyway, that's interesting.
You smoked it away.
I do feel kind of
I'll skier now that I smoked cigarette. It was a really good though. Oh god. Is it smoking is amazing. Really? Love it. I
smoked cigarettes once in your life. No
When I when I drink just to be funny because all my friends will be smoking. Uh-huh
So then I'll just put a cigarette in my mouth and I'll just put it like all funny different ways.
Like, look at me, I'm having a cool right now.
Look, look, I'm cool.
And then I'll have like it barely hanging off my lip.
Like your party aunt?
Yeah, look, I'm so much cooler in you.
And then I'll like, I'll take, I go ahead
and let me see your cigarettes.
And I'll put like all three cigarettes in my mouth.
And I'll be deep crazy.
Here's the price of the party.
I'm hilarious.
But I did, I don't know if I told you you this but I was out with some radio friends in New York and
When they moved to New York they got really into smoking cigars. Yeah, like people do that. That was their that was their thing and
In time Square across the street from the W Hotel is a cigar store
We go there and the only enemy buy cigars and they're like
$30 a month. Yeah, expensive. And they go let me buy you one. I go okay so it was
to my buddies and one buddy had his wife also. So she was smoking one with us and
she's like oh I'm feeling lightheaded. I can't I can't smoke this. I go oh and
now this is you know wasted and I thought it was being funny. Now here give me just a gar and I was already smoking my cigar. So I can't spoke this. I go, oh, and now I was, you know, wasted, and I thought I was being funny.
And here, give me just a gar.
And I was already smoking my cigar.
So I go, look at this.
I'm smoking too, it's a garth.
At the same time, oh my God.
Heard it, heard it, it's a garth.
I just started, I thought I was gonna die.
I thought I was gonna die.
I started, everything started spinning.
I go, I gotta go and I went into the W Hotel
and I want to impute in the bathroom.
And I put my head on the sink
and they said that I was gone for 40 minutes.
Oh my God, from the smoke from the,
from smoking to the cigars at the same time.
Oh my God, that is so, yeah, that happens totally.
That happens to smoke.
That happens to me,
because I don't smoke anymore,
but when I'm drinking and I smoke,
I get nauseous and my friends won't let me smoke,
because I get nauseous and weird and I pass it.
I almost throw up from the smoke,
because that totally makes sense.
Let's see the thing is,
cigar smoke is even more so.
Yeah, when you're drunk and you smoke, it can make you sick.
Yeah, so I go back, going back to smoking the cigarettes,
that's why I don't understand,
because it does nothing for me.
I don't go, oh my God, I want to have one. It's a habit, it's terrible. Yeah, that's why I don't understand because it does nothing for me. I don't go, oh my God, I don't want to have one.
It's a habit.
Terrible.
Yeah.
It's bad.
I have to quit it.
Isn't it bad for your sex life, too?
Yes.
Terrible for your sex life.
It is.
But why do people want to smoke after having sex?
Because you want to smoke after everything.
When you smoke, you're a smoker, you want to smoke with good things, bad things, happy
things, sad things, just anything that happens in your life gets to habit.
Whenever you're having an extreme emotion or you're on a phone call or you're driving
or you're doing something, you're like, I just want to smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke.
Does it actually give you a high or something?
Yeah, you think that it's calming you down, but it's really not.
It's making you more stress and anxious.
But you think it calms you because you've trained your mind to think
that it is, that you have it. So you think that it's what it's making you more stress.
So the second you, for like a second, it might, but then it like the nicotine, you're giving
you by nicotine. And then the nicotine withdrawal is what makes you anxious. So then you want
another cigarette and you can have another one, another one. So really it's the nicotine
that's creating this vicious cycle. Does it make you horny?
No, it doesn't
Why use it
Because it's when you're drinking and you're
You ever smoked before before sex before sex. Yeah, I've smoked like before after during
During sex before sure I think that's
familiar to me like like having a cigarette burning and like having sex and like, yeah,
like I did a smoker and we were like smoke before smoke after it's there's something
about you never been a smoker. It's just no. It's it's draining. I we talked about the
sale of day. My god. I hope my mom never lets you handle this, she doesn't know. Oh no.
Oh, it's fine.
Just making out with the smoker.
It's just a thing.
I know, it's horrible.
But there's something about it.
It's just, yeah, I love it.
I see a pack, I'm like, I love you.
We used to be BFF, and I just wanna make out with it.
It's gross.
Disgusting.
Okay, Michelle Williams, I'm practicing
her sexy Marilyn Monroe Wiggle. Michelle Williams, is cast portraying Marilyn Monroe in the upcoming film
My Week with Marilyn the blogosphere exploded with negative criticism. They said
that she wasn't physically designed for the role that she was too thin to
portray the curvy sexy film star and she couldn't pull it off. So she tells
the magazine she tried to match the star's curvy physique by guinea weight but
confided that all the pounds would stray to her face.
So she said, I remember one moment being all stood up
as Marilyn and walking from my dressing room
onto the soundstage, practicing my wiggle.
There were three of her mind gathered around the truck,
and I remember seeing there watching me come
and feeling there watching me go, da da da da da da da.
Anyway, who's she again?
Michelle Williams, she's an actress.
Who's she in?
Who's she in?
Oh, she was married to, just face you died. Oh, yeah, she's not like super famous yet. She kind of is famous
She's gonna cover a bunch of magazines up right? I don't know her. I can't believe you don't know someone if I don't know
She's not speaking of not knowing anything and that the guy that died was Heath Ledger by the way. Thank you. I know that good
I was trying to come for that too, so
I have not watched TV yet at all. You have cable, right? Oh my God. You. You've just set up my DVR.
You were going to do that. I'm down. Okay. Oh, email me what shows I should start watching.
Feedback at sexcelery.com. You have a gathering to go to. You don't have time for me. I do have time for you.
I've got plenty of time.
My whole life is time.
That's all I've got.
Okay.
Do we got emails from the people?
We got emails from the peeps.
All right, what do the people want to know?
Feedback at sex with Emily.com.
Okay.
If you have any suggestions.
Okay, this is an awesome email.
Yeah, feedbackatexelm.com
or there's a really easy Q&A button on our website
that you just go to and you send me an email
with your questions, comments, concerns.
Okay, this is an email from Jeff,
he doesn't say where he's from,
but he emailed me last week and said,
you have a very new fan of the show
because I put your advice into practice.
It's a long story,
but it had three very happy innings for her.
First time to three.
So it was her first time having an orgasm
three. She couldn't wait to look you up online. Okay. So I emailed them and I was like,
what happened? Like, I'm dying to know. And you know what sent me an email about what
he learned on the show to give this woman three orgasms. All right. Here we go. I almost
don't know where to begin paying attention to her instead of doing what I thought she wanted,
going slower, starting gently and building the intensity, not spending too
much time in one place, forgetting everything that worked with anybody else and concentrating
on what worked for her at that moment.
Once I was able to stop trying to please her and just worked on doing the things that she
responded to, she relaxed and allowed herself to become a sexual being.
I still haven't mastered oral sex, but it was good enough for her to want to climb on
top and ride me to her first orgasm.
She rested for a minute with her head on my shoulder and then I started moving slowly
and she picked up the motion and took a second to finish.
It was a lot of different things that I picked up from listening to you and they all worked
together to give her the experience that I wanted from her.
For her, she was like, wow, where did that come from and I said blame it on Emily
Hope you well know your schedule is crazy, but what you and your team are doing is making a difference. Thanks Jeff
That is like why I live this is why I live and this is why I exist on the planet is
For this this woman at three orgasms. You never orgasm like I want to like send or something, a metal. A center metal. Center sex.
I have like special stickers.
We are printing stickers, but sex special stickers.
Special stickers.
We are printing our sex, Emily T shirts.
Emily gave me an orgasm.
I sex, Emily, and all I got was a T shirt is what the T shirts are going to say.
Don't you love that?
I do.
We've been talking about it for five years, but I'm really actually printing them
So anyway, you know thing to say about that. I think you you're giving me the move on look and I'm giving you the
This is an amazing email look like he did all the things that I talk about slowing down paying attention to what she wants
And and then she was able to feel more comfortable He forgot whatever woman did in the past these are like
Tips that I this these are like all my tips and caps, I don't even know this guy.
You should post that on sexlionme.com. So people can say that.
I really should. Okay. Okay. I'll move on now. Okay.
Hi, I'm William Venice. I love this show, so I'm going to get straight to the point.
My boyfriend and I have been discussing our fantasies. One of my fantasies is to have
a threesome with another woman and him, but I have rules. I want to do is to someone we don't know no kissing and she has to leave as soon as we're done
pretty much with no emotional attachment am I asking for too much how do you
initiate a three-some and how do you find a ready available attractive female
without having to pay for it from a show you read that did I get why did I
here again I don't know I did it sounded really familiar. But we went just in case
the people missed it. It just sounded so familiar. I was thinking it was like when, yeah,
okay, we did. Well, we can recap it real quick. We kind of suggested that it would probably
be, be right, as a female, if you're the one, trying to get the other female, it would
be probably pretty easy for you.
Yeah.
But never go with, and yeah.
Yeah, with somebody that you know, yeah, to somebody,
somebody random.
There's his websites that you, I'm sure you can find somebody.
Adult friend, finer.
Yeah, but if you're not into the people that probably do that
all the time, then I would go to some bars.
Go to some bars, go to some play.
But even San Francisco, we've like play parties.
Like my intern Lee to talk about last week when she went on.
I don't know where to say where she lives,
but I'd be happy to email.
Michelle, if you email me, I will send you some things.
There might be some things in your city.
Every city has like swingers or people who want to.
I know, but sometimes you're just like,
you know what, I don't want to have
the bisexual chick that's done this a billion times.
Right, you just want some, right.
Well, you're talking about when guys respect
if you'd want to check who hasn't done it before.
Yeah, no, not that she hasn't done it before,
but she's not like out there.
Right, it's growing a bunch of couples and you know that.
Yeah, and she's liking all the clubs and all that stuff. Right, right, right. I think you just have to, I think you just have to put like out there, and there's a bunch of couples. Yeah, and she's like in all the clubs and all that stuff.
Right, right, right.
I think you just have to put it out there and be glad that you guys are open to it, and
it'll happen.
It'll happen, it might not happen tomorrow, it's not the kind of thing that you can orchestrate,
but I think it would happen soon enough if you start.
You'd be surprised.
What can happen later?
Stay off Craigslist, don't go.
Stay off Craigslist.
Don't do Craigslist.
Okay, hey, Emily, I'm a new listener
and I've been catching up on past episodes.
There was one I specifically interested in,
the dating advice and asking women out in the office.
I found the advice to be helpful
as I'm a little bashfulness area.
You're just do it.
You're just do it.
If she says you aren't any worse off than before point,
was not completely accurate.
I won't present myself as a typical male,
but if a guy is like me, he meets more women
through work than anywhere else, asking out the wrong woman
could get him a very unpleasant chip down to HR
and reputation as the office tail chaser.
To be on the safe side, I don't ask women out, I work with,
although I do not think there should be rules
against workplace dating.
What if you find your once you love in the next door cubicle,
but the workplace does complicate things and can be all sorts
of consequences.
It will change.
I know all about this.
Menace seems to everyone in his office.
So what do you think, menace?
What are you saying?
No, you don't see that when you're off to anymore.
No, I never do that.
No, no, there are some companies don't have policies,
but some do.
I just say that I think I get that. Yeah, right. Some can check your company policy, but some do. I just say that I think I get that yeah right
so I'm going to check your company policy but you do need people to work that's
where you need more people I think is you're likely need to be one more
through work. Yeah this is the deal. Unfortunately you're a man it is extremely
touchy like you could be hit with this sexual harassment suit.
Very easily.
I'm not saying that men don't sexually harass women
because they do.
I know from personal experience, not me doing it to anybody,
but I know cases that it's happened.
But as a man, you have to be very, very careful.
You have to make sure that they are really interested.
Like if you wanna hang out with,
if you wanna hang out with one of your coworkers,
invite them to like a group setting.
Right, okay, I've never worked for companies,
so I don't know.
I'm just like, if you like her.
Don't act, no, don't do that because you might get caught up.
So what you do is do a group setting. It's a Friday
drinks happy hour happy hour a couple of
White, you know everybody in the building and then you maybe get to know them a little bit better
They show interest there. Then you're most likely you're good, right? Yeah, if they
Then you can get wasted at the happy hour and take her home or something.
And take her home, maybe that would be your master plan.
Um, but I, I definitely, if all that stuff that you do has to be like a group, group setting.
Right.
Okay.
So it really is, like, fine, I work there really.
You can't reset policies against people dating so.
There's a lot.
Really?
Yeah.
There's a lot.
Never worked for company, really, ever, never.
Yeah. I worked with nothing but companies.
So.
Is that funny, you've had the whole corporate experience?
Yeah.
So that's why I'm always, that's why you and I have always
so many issues because I work for so many companies,
I have to go through so many policies,
go through so many programs.
You're right.
That's how we use our issues.
Yeah, I go through like FCC training, all this stuff,
and then you just want to throw all that stuff out the door.
And like, what do you mean?
You can't say this.
What do you mean?
You can't do that.
I'm like, because it's a policy.
These are for me too, when I was in the radio,
live, terrestrial radio.
Yeah.
It was designed to my show.
And I was like, I can't say masturbation 800 times
in five minutes.
No, you can't.
I went through FCC training.
You didn't read it.
I did.
No, I think way you read it.
Yes, I read it.
I did read it.
I think not, yeah, I did read it.
I did read it.
I've read it.
Lies.
Yes, but now we can swear on stuff.
So it's so much better.
Okay, so yeah, we're communicating.
But I do have to say that most people meet,
if they're meeting online and the second most popular place
they meet is at work.
Yeah.
So, what are you going to do?
Just be careful about it.
It is sex because when it does, if it does end at work, you still have to see that person.
Right.
So make sure the person that you date is really cool.
Fortunately, every girl that I've hooked up with in a work situation, I've made sure that
they're cool.
How many really at your office have you hooked up with?
What?
How many at your office have you hooked up with? What? How many at your office?
What are you talking about?
Oh God.
You said it, man.
That's how I get my information.
I can still count them on my hand.
One hand?
Maybe I need another one.
You've had the company a long time.
What's the guy going to do?
Okay, Emily.
I got nothing but time over there.
I know.
Okay, this is kind of a long one, but it's good.
I wonder if we should get into this.
I think I might say this until tomorrow and get into our sex
text because I really like this one.
But I think I'm going to get into the crazy sex vagina
penis accidents.
I know.
This is what I've been waiting for.
OK, please tell me something.
OK, here's the vagina accidents first.
OK.
Everybody Google Blue Waffle right now.
Blue Waffle?
Yeah.
Why? Don't do it. OK. But they're right now. Blue waffle. Yeah. Why?
Don't do it. Okay, but they're gonna do it anyway. Okay, whatever. Okay.
All right, crazy vagina and penis accents vagina ready number one.
Womu and was admitted to the ER complaining of abdominal pain abdominal pain when doctors took it closer Luckily discovered an entire chicken in her vagina. No way.
Explain that she was not able to have children. I was hoping to chicken return into a baby. when doctors took it closer, luckily discovered an entire chicken in her vagina. No way.
She explained that she was not able to have children.
I was hoping the chicken would turn into a baby.
These are not.
That's all you want to do when you're super high, right?
Right, probably.
You're like, oh, maybe this chicken
that turned into a baby, yeah,
maybe they're not saying that
if these people are around drugs or not.
Or a super drug.
Okay, number two, be aware of the skeed douche.
This is a polite way of
explaining what happens when a water skier falls backward in the water with such
great speed and force. It causes a flood of water to rush into the vagina and
cause lacerations. Some of these are not that much. That's so. Ouch that would hurt.
Yeah. Some of these make you, but they're kind of funny and interesting and
things and these are, this is actually useful for people like what not to do would
be careful. Like don't stick a ticket in your vagina. Okay an elderly woman complaint she had vines
growing out of her vagina. It was a vine going the potato plant in her vagina she put it in there
to keep her sagging uterus in place. She put a potato in her vagina and then the vines
start growing. Yeah. Where the hell did you get this?
Is it true? I've heard about this. Like we got him online, but I heard I mean I
know doctors who talk about the ignorance. Oh, he's like every night. There's
crazy. No, it's all crazy. It's all crazy women. Wait till I get to the penis. Okay.
Number four, Allison had to read. But Gina literally fell out of her body when
she was wiping herself. This condition is technically known as the vaginal prolapse.
What?
Yeah, her vagina just fell out.
Yeah.
Okay.
A Florida woman caused a serious car crash when she decided to shave her vagina while
driving.
Who does that?
Was she on a date or something?
She was on a woman.
She was on her way to Key West where she'd be vacationing with her boyfriend, but her ex-husband
was in the passenger seat.
What? A teen bitch. Happens in Florida though. That doesn't surprise me. asked for she'd be vacationing with her boyfriend but her ex-husband was in the passenger seat. Passengers seat. What a...
Teen bitch.
Happens in Florida though.
That doesn't surprise me.
Okay.
A woman checked into the ER with pelvic pain.
Doctors removed a set of key car keys from down there.
She did want her boyfriend taking the car so she hit him in place where he never goes.
Oh my God.
Very bright.
Painful.
Painful. These are painful, these are painful,
these are like hard to read, okay.
A woman made her OBGOI and sweat
when extra revealed that her vagina was locked and loaded.
Okay, ready?
The doctor performed emergency surgery
so the woman went shooter uterus,
only discovered that it wasn't actually a gun,
it was a cigarette lighter shape like a gun,
a companion to the crack pipe also in her vagina.
So she stuck crack in the thing.
Yeah.
People don't stick things in your vagina.
A few of them, but they're all fucked up.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
Okay, he ready?
We're on to the penis.
Okay.
Accident.
Well, see, the penis thing is just like, oh, he stuck his wiener there.
He stuck his wiener here.
Watch.
Okay, tell the stories.
And he and boy claims that while cleaning his fish tank, he had to pee.
Rather than put the tiny fish down,
he took it to the potty with him
and it swam upstream into his penis.
E.R. doctors could catch a slippery fish with four subs,
but they had to look at like a kidney stone and pull it out.
Doesn't that make you hurt?
Wait, a fish swim.
That's a swam up.
Ugh, what the hell?
How does it do that?
It's scary.
Isn't that scary?
Yes.
Okay.
In 2007, a 30 year old Australian man
wasn't paying attention on the job
and now he made up be able to get a hand or blow kind.
The Salma worker got his woody caught in the log
moving mechanism.
Yeah, he got a caught in the log.
And he's, yeah, he got a caught
and got it caught off in the log moving
out.
All right. So he was at work. Yeah. And he was at the log cutter and then he sought off
his own weiner. Yeah. Got caught. I don't know how that happens. How does it happen?
Well, if you're working around machinery, your clothes can get caught on a lot of stuff.
That's why.
Have you had penis accidents? I haven't had, I haven't had a penis accident. No.
Okay. I'm just curious. I haven't had I haven't had a penis accident. No, okay. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'd be asking you
I've definitely been like skateboarding I hit myself in the
Right, right, right, but where it is to be you know the board will pop up and hit me, but nothing like too drastic
Okay
Okay, well a secretary was giving him head in his car a delivery truck accidentally hit the vehicle as she was thrown off him
She bit down and took the penis flying with her. Oh my god. Are you serious? Yeah, so that's all
What he's not a good idea
Well, he hit someone and he was she bit it off like she was she wasn't using teeth
But he got an accident. She was giving him moral sense. And I understand.
I'm just thinking of, man, there was so much force.
Yeah, like maybe she was deep-throding at that time.
Yeah.
I don't know.
She caught it off with her.
Yeah, so be careful with roadhead, even though it seems good.
I mean, I wonder if they could reattach it.
Doesn't say it.
It doesn't give us the whole, like, what happened?
It just tells us these things.
They did with John Wayne
Bob it. They're able to put his weiner back on it and then he ended up doing porn.
And Larry is telling Bob is if we're no about the Bob it story. I don't know if everybody.
I don't know when she Lorraine Bob it. Lorraine Bob it was a crazy biatch and she chopped
off her husband's weiner ran out the house with it, drove down the street,
threw it onto the side of the road, and police were able to show up enough time, find his
weiner, put on ice, and they were able to reattach it.
Right.
And this guy, you know, he didn't have any normal job, he was kind of a loser, so he wasn't
able to get a corporate gig after that. So he
ended up doing porn. Yeah. What happens? Everyone does that, right? Eventually. It's for us. Okay,
got it. That's a great story. Okay. Oh, yeah. What year was that that happened? Like in the
if it was like the 1980s, is it easier? Yeah. Okay. A man just, I'm gonna a poor a poor victim of a street game assault wanted to
E.R. with bad abdominal ache three days later. He had avoided seeking medical because he was an
legal worker in India. Doctors couldn't figure out what the problem was until they actually
his penis. Apparently the thug shoved a two inch nail up.
Oh, no, no, don't say that. Yeah, these are really actually these are yeah.
Okay, a man decided to surprise his are really actually, these are, yeah.
Okay, a man decided to surprise his love
with a flower stuck in his penis.
He plucked a geranium from the garden
and inserted the stem up his urethra.
Unfortunately, the hairy fibers on the stem
tore his ureth at a shred of spiny disordery.
Why is he so dumb?
These are hard.
I need a break from these.
Because they hurt my penis.
They don't even have a penis.
Like it's painful.
OK.
A Chinese man of the good fortune
are becoming the first penis transplant recipient.
What?
No way.
The 44-year-old man was blessed with the new penis
from a guy half his age.
But although the transplant was a success,
it's so important he had the new package removed
because of the wife's psychological rejection as well as a swollen shape of the transplant was a success, it's very important that he had the new package removed because of the wife's psychological rejection
as well as a swollen shape of the transplant penis.
He had it removed.
She rejected it.
His wife's psychologically rejected the new penis.
She wasn't down, but it doesn't say why he had to have a new penis.
Hold on.
So I'm missing a penis.
And you gotta get a new penis.
Yeah, and I'm-
And then my wife doesn't like it,
so I have to get rid of the new penis. Yeah. Bitch, I don't get a new penis. Yeah, and then my wife doesn't like it So I have to get rid of the new penis. Yeah, I did bitch. I don't have a penis. I understand that you don't I know
But she didn't like it, but this is what I need
Happy life. Happy life. Have you ever heard that? Oh, I'm getting a new wife with my swollen fat penis
My half my age penis. I'm going out psychological takes a pro's act. What's the problem out in the town in China?
I'm banging so many chicks. I'm the guy that has the new penis everybody. Hello, and I'm ready
I'm in town and I'm ready to pound I don't know what I have is eight. Yeah, I would dump that bitch so quick
So quick right if she made me remove my new penis.
I understand.
F that.
I know, I know, I know who are these people.
I just more proof that women are the devil.
We're the devil, but we are also, what?
Like I just women, we're in the world.
We really do.
Yeah, we really do.
You never have ever heard that they'll
like happy wife happy life.
Like it's really true.
I know so many guys who are like, they being down guys just being down like they just don't want to hear it anymore
What was that text that you email that you sent me? Oh, I'd say email it was going back to it. It's a different subject, but
There's a thing about women some negative thing
If it's some day you're
Reminding me of you're you're going off on your, I hate women rant,
it was connected to that.
So my AD just connected to some of ours that are similar.
It's not really that similar,
but it was the thing where I was saying about.
We had a few penis accents left, so keep telling the story.
It's about celebrity women when they become successful,
when they started getting more movie roles
and more than public eye, they always dumped their man and what I sent you before the show was there's
an article about Anna Ferris who's the actress and mine I've seen her in like
scary movie she does a lot of a lot of I don't know a lot of movies right but she
has admitted she goes, yeah,
when I started getting more successful,
I had a better career.
That's why I do.
Men do it too.
They dump their wives and they date women half-thraige.
No, they don't.
Yeah, they do is they become more successful.
Yeah, they do all the time.
They get more money, they get more successful,
they cheat, they have a fairer than they date women
that look like their wives and half-thraige.
Okay, they may do that, but I'm I'm just focusing on women celebrities and saying that it happens every single one with women celebrities or women
Business people as well. You think it just so maybe it happens in women business people but women business people are not on TMZ and
To that all these other things. So women get successful and they dump the guy. Yeah, because lazy and sitting around living off of her
Oh god, it was it was all good before before she was famous.
Like they were in a relationship and they both had the wrong. Why is he just sitting around
waiting for her to like bring home the bacon? I mean, it's not that easy to get movie roles.
I'm sorry if for a significant other's actor or maybe just has a regular job though, what's
wrong with that? That now he has to try to get on her level
Just because now she's getting paid we don't know
We don't what I'm just saying and men's a lot of times maybe it's the guys that can't handle it
Maybe they can't handle a successful woman that happens a lot that men are very intimidated by women
I would embrace a
Successful woman you would I would totally embrace it.
I'm like, go do your thing.
Oh, my lady's the CEO of Bubla.
I love that.
I know.
I like guys who are into that.
That's cool.
Unfortunately, I can't find one, but I'm just saying.
You can't.
Because you're going to move outside your office place.
Find women that you don't work with.
Sorry, I love that you don't work with.
Sorry, I love that topic.
Is that bad to say?
No one looks again.
I'm not kidding, there was years ago, right?
That you did that.
Okay, a 34 year old man
injected a cocaine solution into his penis.
Yes.
Unfortunately, developed blood cuts and gangrene
that resulted in nine fingers, both legs
and his penis being amputated.
Don't inject cocaine into your penis. Don't do drugs. Don't inject cocaine into your penis.
Don't do drugs and don't inject your penis.
What about if I did my penis into alcohol?
What would happen?
Would I get drunk?
No.
You sure?
I don't think so.
I'm gonna hit up Dr. Drew about that one.
He should.
Because you can take an alcohol annually and get wasted yet.
I don't even try.
I don't even try. I don't even don't even don't even try.
I don't even know.
I don't even want to know.
Okay.
You like this one.
I'm mad into you.
I probably had too much to kill it because you wanted to get a circumcision.
No.
As an adult.
No.
The man accidentally caught his whole penis off.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what we got for you.
That's crazy.
That's crazy. If you got any of your own, you want to share email us,
read back at sexletmlee.com.
Well, there's like some people that slip
and then things go after butt.
Yep, that's the best.
I've heard that too.
We could do crazy butt accidents too.
I've had a lot of people say things up their butt.
Oh, yeah, they do.
There was in jackass, they did on purpose.
They did, I hate jackass.
They stoned out my humor humor, what they do.
They shoved a toy car up their butt.
And then they went into the doctor's office.
They went into the doctor's office and they go,
oh yeah, I'm having some problems like some down there.
Like, I don't know, maybe I need an X-ray.
So they shoved the doctor looking at the x-ray
and they go uh it seems that you have a toy carabras so you're laughing you're laughing you're
laughing you're laughing it's funny yeah I don't think it's funny I don't I don't I don't I don't
men love butt humor and I was dating a guy not too long ago
that was like, that was his humor.
And I was like, he's so funny, you should date him,
he's so funny, Emily, and I dated him,
and I was like, literally, it was like, ass jokes,
and like butt jokes, and like, stuff like that,
and the same thing.
Not funny.
There's not too, Ronchy.
That's such a dude.
I don't like Ronchy.
Yeah, I don't like either.
But I'm court at toy car
but but if it's toy cars of the
bud that's not ronji
how is that funny and i guess it's
makes me hurt watching that
that's how we got for you today
all right no i'm really excited
tomorrow is free friday and we are
also at the citr studios
st-e-r get the app for your phone.
It's free.
And you can listen to Sex with Emily wherever you go.
That's how I listen to the show.
Right.
When I'm walking down the street,
I can listen to it on my iPhone.
It's awesome.
And you can also download the podcast at sexadermy.com.
Right.
And yeah.
Yeah, that's cool.
OK, awesome.
Oh, and do me a favor.
Yeah, I'll do anything for you.
I want to do a test with the listeners.
When they Google white menace,
do like Google white menace has a big cock.
Just do that.
Just keep on doing that.
So next time, like some girl tries to,
to, you know, Google me, that's the thing that's gonna pop up.
I had a dream about you last night.
I just remember.
No way.
Yeah, that it wasn't about your,
wait, man, that's a big conversation.
I just remember this because,
I just remember that it was a movie that was screening and
your name, it was like some big film that came out.
And in the credits, it said, why menace something something about you, like as the thing,
and had nothing to do with the movie, but you got like somehow, because you're always
getting your name and doing stuff, like, I don't know, it was like this huge deal that
your name was like, but it had a sentence about you, but I don't remember what it said,
but it was like, I was like, how did menist get into this movie?
You were in the show.
You were so jealous.
I was jealous and I was like, why does he do that?
How does he get everywhere?
Anyway, I talked about you, that story.
That was an awesome story.
That's not true.
You and I hate real shared dream stories.
They're never interesting and never get them.
So when I was gonna start telling, I wasn't gonna tell,
but I wanted to tell you about it. Thank. Thank you that you're dreaming about me.
Thanks everyone for listening to Section Family. It was a good for you. email me feedback at
Section Family.com.