Sex With Emily - Episode 295 - Walk of Shame

Episode Date: September 16, 2011

We all have to do it, so we might as well know how to do it right. Today Emily drops five big tips for how to handle your next walk of shame. We then learn how to encourage your wife to fantasize, what gives Menace nightmares, and the Panty Dropper drink recipe. Plus, a new study shows men value love more than sex. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I Look into his eyes They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that block our secret institutions Betrubized they call them in a bygone way hey, Emily You got a boyfriend because my man E here. He just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute The girls got a hair stand. Oh my the women know about shrinkage. Is it a common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry?

It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between for more information go to sexwithamlee.com where you can see all the cool shit happening on our website. I'm swearing. I can't. I never swear. Sometimes I do lately. I can't help it. We've got polls. We've got podcasts. We've got a whole we've been doing daily shows and today's free Friday. I love free Fridays. It feels so good. It's so liberating. I like it. I Free Fridays. I like it too, man. It's good to see you. Because I'm very excited for the weekend all the time.

I know. I woke up this morning and I leaped out of it. I was like, it's Friday. So happy. Because every day wake up and I open my eyes and I'm like, it's Saturday. It's not. Tomorrow's almost here.

It's so I'm very excited. Today's show, we have a guest. I'm very excited. Cunning Minks. She's the host of Poly Weekly, very popular podcast. And we're going to be calling her in a little bit. She's going to be talking all about Poly Emerson's relationships, you know my favorite topic?

And Jealousy had to overcome it. Her recent trip to Burning Man, all the things that she did and experience and she's super fun and we're going to chat shortly. And we've also been doing shows all week. So if you want wanna check that out, hopefully you become a friends with benefits member. We're given away free friends with benefit members,

to every membership, to everybody who likes our Facebook fan page, Sex Family, so please go do that. And if you've already liked it, you are eligible. So do that, we've also got our sponsors, Adam and Eve. We love Adam and Eve, Adam and Eve go to Adam and Eve.com for all your sex toys, sex needs, laundry, DVDs, anything you need, go to Adam and Eve.com. Use coupon code emulate checkout.

You get 50% off most items, three adult DVDs, special gift, free shipping. They're awesome. Hopefully you'll support them, ASAP, because it's a weekend, get a sex toy. I have so many sex toys that I have these new drawers. Remember I told you I'm a new bed that I got Yeah, so I got this bed which is awesome and it's like because I have a really my apartment doesn't have a lot of storage So it's a storage bed, right? So it's like having two dressers. I've got 12 new drawers And I know that might not sound like exciting to anybody if you have a lot of dresser drawers

You have a lot of space, but I live in San Francisco, and I don't have a lot of storage So I can have two full drawers just devoted to my sex toys I'm like, exciting to anybody. If you have a lot of dresser drawers, you have a lot of space, but I live in San Francisco and I don't have a lot of storage. So I can have two full drawers just devoted to my sex toys. Just filled with my sex toys and they're all laid out. Is it a rakeful? Yeah, they're full. So you can't put any more in there.

Not really, no. They all have like chargers and things. Like I tried to make them really organized. I sort of became obsessed. I sort of became obsessed. You know, like Jimmy Jane toys are awesome. I love Jimmy Jane vibrators. They've got great little chargers.

You can't even, they're beautiful. You can't even tell that it's charging. And it's like this really cool thing. So those are great vibrators as well. So I've been doing that organizing my house with a new bed. Very exciting. I just came up with a million dollar idea.

Go, go, go. What about solar powered sex toys? Don't have to charge them. Yeah, we know that the bummer would be. The bummer would be if it just didn't somehow get its charge and it died right when you're about to go over. I was trying to be so green, so San Francisco right now. There probably are solar powered vibrators.

No way, there is it. But I always, you know, come up with an idea and somebody sends an email. That's true, so let us know. Are there some little part of vibrators? I know there's green vibrators. That stuff that's more healthy for you and stuff like that. But yeah, I've got a lot. I realize I've got all my sex. It's like I'm proud of like my collection. I never see them when I go over. I mean, I don't

want to see them. But you don't want to see. Yeah. I would show them to you now that they're all displayed beautifully in my new bed. Yeah. So it's exciting. And it's Friday. so I am hosting a fundraiser tonight. If you live in San Francisco, there's a woman named Joanna Reese, running for mayor. I endorse her and it's going to be at Roe Night Club from 630 to 830 and Howard and third. Anyone's welcome to come. How classy. Isn't that classy? Yeah, I'm classy. I've been seeing the invite here and there on a few places. So it should be Well, I think rose by my house. No, it's on me Howard and third across from the W Hotel

Yeah, yeah, so I'm gonna do that. That's a doing night and then we got a bunch of friends later because a lot of my friends are gonna be there Sweetie got drinking and doing crazy stuff Wow, I'm really ready for the weekend. It's been a long week. Long week, yeah. How about you? What are you gonna do? This weekend, well, I'm gonna go pick Sart today.

Gonna watch a movie called Drive. Okay. That's early, in the day. You would pick Sart like every week. Yeah, because they have movie screens there all the time. And I'm gonna get invited. And it's amazing If anybody sees a position where they can apply for a job there I strongly encourage you to do it. It's a really awesome. It's a really cool company. Yeah, I

Unfortunately, I'm not smart enough to work there Because their jobs are just it's so Skills your pledges smart menace. Yeah, I just don't have those skills. You're pledging smart menace. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just don't have the skills required to work there. Right, I got it. If I did and I was able to get a job there, I would work there in a heartbeat. Right. Of course, I would still do the sex on the show.

But I would. You always will do sex on the show. So we're like really old and not having sex anymore. Yes. Right, but you're not really having sex now. I, yeah, I'm celibate. You're not celibate. So yeah, that's cool.

And then I'm going to work, it's lame, but I'm going to work during the day this week. And then I'm going to go out tomorrow night with a friend who has two kids and I never see her and we're going to do like a girls night out. Cool. Can't wait. Yeah, it's going to be super fun. Yeah, I'm maybe out of the show with you. There's there's another thing that I don't want to work on. You know that I don't do enough, but everything that I do is towards radio. And I kind of just want to have like a project that's not radio oriented. So what are you doing? I think I want to get involved, you're going to laugh at me, but something with cooking,

cooking a video. Really? Yeah, because I, you know, I have this huge video background, but I never really get to use it outside of for real. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm just always editing interviews and stuff like that. And you know me, I love food. And why not just put two together, so. So you're gonna start doing cooking but where you're like in your apartment?

Yeah, in my apartment, so. And you really know how to cook? Yeah, it's gonna be like. I don't believe that you know how to cook. It's gonna be like a couple of months from now because I gotta get a bunch of pieces together. But I think I'm gonna do it because I'm looking for something outside that I do normally. That's good now because I got to get a bunch of pieces together, but I think I'm gonna do it because I'm looking for something

Outside that I do normally. That's good because you work all the time and you need something outside your work. Yeah, I'm just kind of I agree. I do everyone does. I think everyone needs something. Yeah, I want to, you know, I want to be able to do something different. That's all. Wow, I've never heard you say this before. Yeah, I mean, I love radio. The radio is my first love. No, it's your life. It's everything that you do, but I think that's amazing. You do cooking videos, and maybe I would even learn something from. You would. I know.

But it's not gonna be like healthy cooking, you know me. It's gonna be like, right. There's so many cooking shows though. How you, yeah, but I think that you're doing it. I'm doing it for fun. I'm not doing it because, oh, I think I'm gonna be the next hot internet sensation when it comes to cooking. I'm just doing it because it'll just get me

something to do outside of it. Right, I think that's important. I like it. That's all. I like it, man. It's funny because I brought it up to friends. They're like, oh, you can do this, this and this. And you can put it here and there.

They're like, nah, I'm just going to do it for fun. Right. That's cool. I totally think you should. I need to do stuff for fun. That's outside of work. But I think my work is pretty fun. Yeah.

So it's hard, but I really need to diversify. Except for not this weekend, because I am going to work out weekend. So I've got, so today's show, we will be doing, like I said, we've got this guest conning mix. She's a host of Polly Weekly Checker Out, and then we've got emails that we're reading. Some really good emails today about being married for a long time, and people having issues in their long-term relationships and Some stuff about dating and then we've got sex in the news and

That's what we got for you. We got our results from our poll and what was that? Have you ever had a threesome? 7% said yes, but it was not fun Really 21% said nope not my thing fun. Really? 21% said nope, not my thing. 22% yes, and I'm excited for my next one. And 50% said no, but I'd like to. Our listeners have not. It's so hard to come together. It's timing. It's very hard to come together. No point intended, but it is hard for it all to work it out. And we've gotten a lot of emails about that lately too, like how do we find a third person? And I think probably cutting mix could speak to that too, even though she's just polyamorous, not necessarily like finding a threesome swinging,

whatever, but there are ways in different cities, people ask that a lot. So we're gonna get into that today. Like if you are interested in having three sims, like how can you find someone else? How does that work out? A lot of people think it can destroy the relationship, but if you do it right, you like your ground rules,

it can all work out, right? So here's our new poll. All right. How often do you wait to have sex after the first date? 30 seconds First date why wait if it were how long do we have sex after the first day? Okay, so first date why wait if we're compatible Two or three dates don't want to seem too eager Two weeks to a month. I like to take my time or one to three months. I like to wait until I truly know the person

What do you think? I like to take my time or one to three months. I like to wait until I truly know the person. What do you think? First date, two to three dates. The truth? The truth. It doesn't matter. Two to three dates are two weeks to a month. Is how long I wait. Wait.

That's you? Yeah. No way. What do you think it is? First date? You're sexy. I'm not aware. Yeah, that's the expectation. I do know that I told you I've been interviewed by this reporter this week and it's been like

my full-time job really like dealing with all these questions and whatever and she's doing this profile piece on me and I, she wants to know what are the guys I think, like what's their expectations? Do you guys just date me because, and she's not the only one. I'm going to ask you that. Do you guys just want to date me because I have the sex talk show and do they have expectations and I'm going to be like, yeah, I I'm just gonna show up in like a lingerie or a, you know, dominatrix something.

So, yeah, but I like to wait just because maybe the expectations are that I don't. Yeah, I would wait anyway. I think you should, people rush into sex too quickly. And I think you should wait. You shouldn't have sex in the first day. There's no reason to ever have sex in the first day. Yeah, I think the problem is with me,

if I really like somebody, I'm so standoffish. Like I don't, I don't wanna do anything where they would think that I'm a creep, right? So I'm like trying to get into their pants or anything like that. So they kinda just like, they kinda have to initiate it. I know you say this. I know it's weird.

I know it's weird. It sometimes it works out and sometimes it's... Could you guide you him just enough that they can tell that you like him, but you're a little shy? Yeah, so I'm not going to like full-on go for it. Right, right. But I think that people should not have sex on the first day. But I've done it. I'll admit it.

I've done it. But I'm not proud. I have. Yeah, because there's no, why not? Wait, yeah, believe it or not. why not wait until you actually know the person until you've spent more time together like there is no, I don't see the benefits. There is no reason to rush into sex. You might as well get to know the person and see if you want to because then it's all about sex.

Because then you've sex and of course, you're really like let's get together again of sex if it was, if it was half good. And then then you become about the sex and you don't become a back at it. And knowing the person, and that's when relationships don't work out is when we just base things on sex and attraction and you're like, you overlook the fact that he's kind of a deadbeat or he's a misogynist

or whatever your issues are with men. That's when they say love is blind. It's because you don't see the signs once you start having sex too soon. That's what love is, why it means, I think. Why'd you look at me when he said misogyny? I don't think you're misogyny. Good.

I do think you're kind of a misogyny, but I think you've gotten better. Why am I misogyny? I'm a realist. You're a realist now, but I don't think that you, there are some issues that you have with women like, women's gonna dump guys, they're dating if they get more successful or women.

I just think there's some things, not facts, not facts. I don't think so, I don't think so. What I think that you do sometimes have some negative things say about women. That's okay. So, but there's stuff that you can say negative things about men, which doesn't matter. I know. This is because you're a woman, I can't say anything. No, you. So, but there's stuff that you can say negative things about men,

which doesn't matter. I know. This is because you're a woman, I can't say anything. No, you can, I appreciate you. That's such a stuff. You have to do. And this is what I want to say to you, they can also call in. We've got a phone number here. It's 415-9927-392. And you can also, anytime, leave a voicemail on our message, on our, at our number, and we'll answer your questions on the air. So, if you don't, we get tons of emails to feedback at sexwithmv.com, or you can go to Sex Family and just send it right to the website, but we're gonna start playing your messages

on the air and answering your questions. So just call up that number 415-9927-392 and just leave a message with your question, and we might answer it. And leave a way to get back to you and all that. Cool, can we also recap last Friday, I introduced you to a new drink called the Panty Dropper. Oh my god, and I dropped my panties. No, I didn't, but I almost did. It was awesome. Should I'm gonna break it down for everybody because it's Friday?

Exactly. We drink it on Saturday next to you. Just go over the weekend. Okay, go ahead. Okay, so this is what you do people you grab some type of vodka Emily prefers the classy vodka last time I didn't get Really got that What it's stolly vodka is like one of the best I know Russian vodka right. I'm sorry. It's not Grey goose yeah, all that stuff tastes the same It is okay is not gray goose or all that stuff tastes the same.

It is. If I put that, if I put that in the bottle, if you had two bucks, we added a very, that's the problem. It wasn't cheapest bottle of vodka. Thank you, honey. Thanks for sparing me from that. Anyways, so I put the, you put, you count to four, one, two, three, four,

that's one shot of vodka. You know, if you wanna do a double shot, that's fine. You count to eight, one, two, three, four, five, one shot of Aka. And you know, if you want to do a double shot, that's fine. You count to eight, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, but pull the bottle back up. Then you take about three drops of Canadian dry ginger ale. So you go, one, two, three. So it's not clear anymore. It has a little, not too not too see through listening really hard.

Yeah. And then you take this is where you screwed up. You take a lime, chop the lime in half and then squeeze out, uh, you know, almost half the lime into the lime. I used to lime and when I tried to make it for my friend. I'm like, I'm so excited. I have a new drink, Candy Dropper. And it is. And right. So what happens is the reason they call a a panty dropper, with that, with that mix, you really can't taste the alcohol at all. So the stretch is, it's a panty dropper because women are going to get so messed up on this drink that they will drop their panties and not even know what's happening.

But if you want to make a drink, we don't condone that by the way. If you want to make a true panty dropper, also find some grenadine and then put a drop of grenadine in there. It was amazing. And I'll be pink. I it. Oh, so try it out this weekend. Okay, try it out. We should have like Friday drink day, like new drinks every Friday. I actually found all photo of me bartending today. Really? Yeah, I was looking. I'm cleaning up my digital life. Oh, that's a long it's a big job. Yeah, and deleting a lot of all the counts

and stuff that I don't use anymore. Now I have this photo account and I went through and I found a picture of myself bartending in like 2006. Where were you bartending? That's what I met. Here in San Francisco. Really? That's when I met you 2006. That was fun.

That was fun. That was so fun. It's good times when we met. Yes. Yeah, so I think we should have drinks and do know a bunch of drinks. We should do drinks at a Friday that are like sexy hot drinks. I think that's a great idea, Emily. Thanks.

Post it on the website, intern listening. Intern listening. They're learning for her. Highly shy, she's listening right now. And she's writing notes to the pan and jopper. We should post it for sure. All right. So, section only.com.

That's where everything happens, all your news and information that you need. Forget any other of the new breaking news, but we have all the breaking sex news. So here we go, Sex in the news and Tweet it out to once you post it. Tweet it out the panic dropper. Yeah, okay. We will. Thanks, man. Thanks for all the instructions. Okay, Beyoncé has bizarre pregnancy cravings. It's kind of sex because she had sex and got pregnant. So yeah, she does. Apparently, she's been driving the crew of their four hundred thousand dollar week yet insane as she and her husband jazzy cruise around idling kroycia source says usually guest-sip crystal champagne will live in laxer instead

biancé is having odd cravings she's making an orios and pickles and ice cream without chili sauce and she loves to be bananas and ketchup for breakfast she's been having croissants with melted chocolate bars inside uh... well she's a piece of that she is going to get shovers but i guess that's what happens when you're pregnant i don't know croissants with melted chocolate bars inside. Whoa. She's gonna get so fast. She is gonna get shovers, but I guess that's what happens when you're pregnant, I don't know. But you always see them on their yacht, so now it's probably just a little different,

she having. But the Nana's in catch-up sounds disgusting. I'm still trying to confirm if one of my friends is pregnant because she's like, oh, I've been craving blah, blah, and I'm only six weeks. And everyone's like, wait a minute, you're pregnant. She didn't tell anybody. And that's all she said. I'm six weeks.

Yeah, that means you're pregnant. Yeah. Wow. Good friend. Yeah, good friend of mine. Because usually you're not just tell three months. You're not just tell 12 weeks. I know.

That's the rule. But I probably would tell everyone because I would want everyone. I just because I have a big mouth by myself. I'd be like, oh my god, it's been five minutes but I probably would tell everyone because I would, one, everyone, I just, because I have a big mouth by myself, I'd be like, oh my God, it's been five minutes, I'm pregnant. Okay, true blood study, joe menginalio splits from his fiance. Do you watch true blood?

I've never seen it, but people love it. I had a friend that had it to my DV. They were really into it. So, when we, can I wasn't going out, imagine that. And it was on demand. So I watched all 13 episodes in a row, one weekend, and caught up on it. And it was really good, but then I didn't watch any of the scenes after that. People love it.

So it was real. Because people are having sex in it all the time. Really? Yeah. I don't know why I don't watch it That's what my friend was telling me my friend Charlotte was like oh my god like it's so hot like I went up sex to vampire like it's amazing It's the best sex ever and then you've these dreams or something that like like you're having sex with them And it's like the best feeling ever a kind of got turned on just hearing about yeah

But the hunky 30-day actor who plays outside L.C. down the HBO hit an a draw an actress model have called off the engagement for unknown reasons however sources say it's hard it's totally over but recently the heartthrob was seen chatting up actress Rosemaking in New York wasting no time Rosemaking out and stated like everybody right Rosemaking out oh I thought she was still with the director what's's his name? Robert Rodriguez. Yeah. He left his wife for her. Oh, that's not a very good sign.

When someone's leaving someone else and they're cheating, they're in cheating again or whatever. It's true. I just heard a story like this. Someone was dating and they're like, oh, she cheated on me and left someone out. If there's so much cheats on you, someone leaves their partner and cheats with someone else, they're likely going to cheat on that person too.

Cause I think cheating is a pattern. Yeah, Rosemar Galen went from, I believe she went from Marilyn Manson to Robert Rodriguez. Oh, right, right, exactly. Is there something important on the phone right now? Yeah, there is. Alicia says that, in turn, she says, she emailed Knox, can't see her here on the show. She wants to make sure everything is going okay. She can't see her here at the show. She wants to make sure everything is going okay.

She can't see her here at the show. But she emailed them. Okay. I will check it out. Anyway, anyway. Okay. Brad Pitt finally opens up on Angelina Jolie. This has been all over the press.

Have you seen this? In a new interview with Entertainment Weekly, you opened up about his professional and romantic relationship with Angelina Jolie and their family life. He even discusses meeting the seductive actress on the movie of her 2000 film when he was still with Jennifer Aniston. Oh no. He said, we had some Angelina and I had some good workshops

beforehand, had some good laughs ideas. That was just a great collaboration that turned into a greater collaboration. Despite ruining his marriage, he desires to work at Jolie and a movie set again. We should be doing movie together, but they can't because they always want one of them home when the other ones work with an anime movie. So whatever, he finally opens up about it six

years later and things are amazing. Never said anything. And they're happy apparently. Yeah, she if you want to see her naked, she did an awesome movie about one of the original supermodels. I think it's called Chee, I believe. I could be wrong, but look it out. And she's naked throughout the movie. That's like an earlier film? Yeah.

Interesting. Yeah. Okay, is it working or no? No, it's not working. Oh, cool. Love that. Okay, that's awesome. So, So people can't really tune in now. Okay, here's five tips for surviving the walk of shame.

Okay. This is just like a news story that came up. We just clip this because I thought it was funny. Okay, you're not fooling anyone. Look, you're going out in a daylight wearing a dress that might have been cute last night but looks skanky at a contact with your panties bald up in your purse or your wearing clothes

bald from the guy you checked up with. Either way, you're doing the walk of shame. I say, tell yourself that bedhead, razor chin, and smile as you bark on the journey. You should still freshen up. Yes, you're obviously a slap, but why not wash your face and brush your teeth? You're not a slut if you had a walk of shame.

But brush your teeth, don't leave anything behind. I love it. You may be a pause to perhaps leave a key item for the guy to remember you buy like your panties. Obviously, I've never done that, but that's kind of creepy. I've done the hair ties. The hair ties. We leave the hair ties everywhere.

And it's true. My guy friends are so convinced that women, that women leave something behind, so they'll be asked back. So I've said this before whenever I've done that, not necessarily after one night's stand, but if I leave something in the guys, I'm like, I swear to God, I didn't leave it on purpose. No, I don't, I don't think they do it on purpose. They just... You've never heard that theory?

Yeah, but I honestly don't believe it's true. I don't believe it's true either. Okay, but do leave a note. If you don't want to wait the guy before you go, leave a note, that's okay. Mornings are awkward, and thanks for a fun night, and your number will suffice, so you could leave your number. But that's kind of a bummer if he doesn't ask for it.

Oh, it's, uh, the movie was called Gia. Gia? Oh, yeah, yeah. I remember hearing about that, but I don't think it did very well. But she's naked the whole time. She's naked. We got seven out of ten stars. Cool. Yeah.

She's naked. And it's just about, yeah, one of the riddles of supermodels I got caught up on drugs and then just follows your life. Okay, good to know. Okay, be honest with yourself about what happened. We're talking about the one-night stance. Spending the night with you guys places, I mean he's obligated to study with you the library, take you out to Frozen Yogurt, call you or even to Galadume Public, which can really suck. It's supposed to be a shock to the guy you've been crushing on for a while. So

and definitely don't waste your night stalking his Facebook status update. So, might just be a one night stand, a one night stand, could be a one night stand, walk shame, best up, be real. He might not be in two. Does everyone really stalk everyone on Facebook? Yes. Out of time. Everyone does.

I see all your updates, but I'm not stalking you just because you update all the time. Yeah. Why not? If people, this can't help it, I don't think. Right. Constantly checking out how many stories do you hear from your friends? Oh my God, his soul is pitchers.

So he's a page with another girl that meets by dating her. Oh my God, what does that mean? And he hasn't updated in a few days or you see something. Where is he? I remember when I broke up with a guy once, few years ago. And it was like the day we broke up, he went out that weekend and he had like, on Monday morning, like 15 new girlfriends, like girls that are friends,

because it says who your new friends are. And so I did sort of stock those checks. Oh my god. I didn't stock them, I clicked on them. I'm like, he really just made friends with 15 girls this weekend because we just broke up. But that's about the extent of my school. I would too.

Sure. You would stock or you'd make 15 new girlfriends. No. And then he constantly had new women that are front-to-face because now I, it's not a big good thing. But do you think it's going to be around forever? Facebook will be around forever? No, I give it maybe four more years until something new comes out.

Okay. Tell them to make billions on behind billions of dollars. Okay. Study came out that said men value love 60% more than sucks. Men? Men. This is why this is so surprising. A new survey out of Los Angeles claims that men would rather pay

for a date if they knew they were headed for true love, which means maybe we need to give guys a little more credit. The results of the survey were announced by what your price-a-dating website where users can buy or sell the first dates. So what are the researchers find? They found that men who value love more than they value sex, paying a $73 for casual or no strings attached relationship as opposed to $121 for casual dates and $194 for full-on

falling in love relationships. That's a lot of money. We often hear the stereotype that men value sex and women value love. Our online dating studies shows that this stereotype is wrong. In fact, men value love more than sex by over 60%. What do you think about that? I think that it's true. Wow.

I think it's true. Yeah. Of course, we all want to have sex with guys. We want to have sex. Yes, of course. I think you're, we all want to have sex with guys. We want to have sex. Yes. Of course. I think you're attractive. I want to have sex with you. That's just a given. But I want to have sex with you. And then I want to have a good relationship with you. Do me, women, and you put them instantly? Can you tell in the category, like, want to sleep with her or want to have a relationship with her? Yes. Right away. I can do that right away. I can

read them right away. So you're like, I'm not spending anything. Or you don't spend any money on checks anyway. You're like, bye. No, no, I have a rule. I've do that right away. I can read them right away. So you're like, I'm not spending anything. Oh, you don't spend any money on checks anyway. You're like, bye. No, no, I have a rule. I've said this many times. If a girl's out with me, then I'm going to play for everything. I don't care if it's the first date or the tenth date. It's that's how it is. But I'm not going to buy. I'm not doing charity where I'm out. Right. Just buying random chick strings. I'm not going to do that. But if you're rolling with me, of course, I'm going to take care of you. Oh. But going back to that, I rather have sex with you

and be in love with you and be committed with you. I know. Be so nice. It's simple. And I want you to feel the same way. But you have to have the dates and the sex till that could lead to the relationships. But they're saying that if a guy feels it's someone, so what they're saying here is like the ones that are the

guys that just realize it's just for sex, they're not going to pay as much. But that makes sense, I guess. They're like, well, I just go back to my place and have a bottle of wine or something. I got it. Okay, we've got some emails too. And then we're going to call our guest Cunning Mix from Polyweekly from the Polyweekly podcast. Let's do it. Okay, this is kind of long this one. But you're going to go through it. I'm going to go through it because it's, it's, it's, this guy needs our help. Okay. Emily, I found you three months ago and I had to go back to the beginning and now I'm all up to date.

The reason I'm writing is because I married my high school sweetheart and we have two beautiful daughters and I just found out today there might be another guy. She had a ton of work related trip in which numerous people from all over the state go to a week and get to know each other. I wanted to see what she's been up to because a coworker she is with is known to be going through divorce to herself because of infidelity, which is why I'm insecure when they're both together. While looking at our wireless summary on the net,

I found numerous unknown phone calls and texts, summit 2 a.m. I decided to look even further and I came across some texts between the both of them in which they made comments on the night prior, comments to the night prior, texts about how my wife's friend left them behind at whatever location they were at. My wife mentioned this guy that her friend jokingly told her not to do anything she will regret in the morning. I confronted my wife without disclosing that I've seen those text messages, but she swears

nothing happened. She doesn't even admit to being out with a guy anywhere. I then asked about the text at 2 a.m. and she offers no valid explanation. You've been married for eight years. I've made mistakes in the past and she knows this. She cheated on me before with someone very close to me and is ruined all relations with this person. It is a bad situation I'm in because I recently said I quit my job and finished my master's. Therefore, I have no income and I have to think of the kids. Any suggestions, tips or comments we appreciate it. Thanks people with a good work. Jay from Texas. Oh, Jay, Jay, Jay. Sounds like she's cheating to me. I don't want to like or she's about to cheat or there's

something going on in their relationship. High school sweetheart, they have two beautiful dollars. That's really challenging. I mean, I think that's challenging. High school sweetheart's they haven't had sexual other people. really challenging. I mean, I think that's challenging high school Sweethearts, they have an sexual other people they've been together. I do not think people should get married in their 20s At all this is what happens it happens anyway But maybe she needs she's feeling like she had kids and she's not feeling sex anymore Which a lot of reasons why women go out and they cheat because maybe there's other guys giving her a lot of attention I'm not saying the relationship is over, Jay from Texas.

I'm just saying that you guys might need some intense therapy and some work in this out because it sounds like she's not really toned in the truth to you right now. That's what I think. It seems sort of sketchy. Yeah, if you know about those and she's not copying to them, then I'm not saying she's out banging right now, but there's something going on. Yeah, but there's something going on that you need to look at because I don't know this whole thing with like a text messaging and the emails And I mean there's so much information that you can find out and it just doesn't sound good to me. Yeah, and if You both make mistakes in the past and I guess that's something it's just something that you're gonna have to talk out

Because you know, I have the I have the mentality of somebody cheats on me. I'm gone, right? But if it's if it's both ways, then yeah. A few days before. Yeah, then I'm up for conversation in this situation. Yeah, okay, good. Up for conversation and maybe some therapy, I mean, you might need a third party person to help you guys mediate this because there's a lot of

persons in the bed. I'm just bringing a third person in the bed. Not a third person in the bed. Not a third person with a therapist. No, you should, I think it's really important because a lot of times couples get into these situations and they can't get out of them on their own. And you just have to know that asking for help

and going to see a therapist is not saying that you're weak, is not saying that you have a problem or like, it just shows that you need some help. And I think couple sometimes get into this rut where they're discussing the same, well, you cheated, well, you cheated. Well, I didn't, back and forth, back and forth. And you can't, couples get into this rut where

they're having the same conversation over and over again and they need to help being pulled out. So I think if infertility comes in the mix, you need some help. Yeah. And good luck to you, Jay. But I wouldn't leave her yet. I would just say you got to try and work it out. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Emily, I've been married to S for 20 years now and I have to say the sex does get better with age, although I need it more than she does. I guess it's mainly vanilla sex, but I do fantasize big time about girls at work and her friends. I often ask if she ever has fantasies, but she says no. I can't believe it, which makes me keep my secret, although some do inadvertently leak out.

Is she just kidding? S tells me dirty things about her friend's relationship, tells me to go for a walk in the beach, which gives me a real heart on. I ask her if this girl talk makes her horny, and she says no. If she's telling the truth, how do I get her to fantasize about other cock, et cetera?

I have this fantasy about her being effed by other guys, and it really turns me on, although I wouldn't like it to happen in reality, and neither would I want to care about my fantasies because I still find her quite hot. Perhaps you could recommend some good quality chick porn I can introduce you to happen in reality. And neither would I want to care about my fantasies because I still find her quite hot. Perhaps you could recommend some good quality chicken porn I can introduce you to regards Chris. Well, there's not to plug our sponsor,

but Fire TV, man, it's pretty legit. Yeah, technically it's on a technical level. It is pretty freaking awesome. Yeah, fire TV,wayretv.com. If you're a friend with benefits member, you actually get 30 minutes free. You can let you know how, but it's like the Netflix of porn. They've got over 20,000 titles they have it broken on to porn for couples, porn for, and I would just look online like, honestly, there's a lot of chick-friendly porn.

There is good quality chick porn, and I don't know what she's into, but I think that's a great way to watch porn together. If she's open to it, that's more chick-related. We like plots more than men. No. We like the plots and the thing. But there are tons of porn out there for couples. And I would do that.

Adam and Eve also sells porn for couples. And so I would think that you should find some stuff. And maybe when she's, well, a lot of times women don't have fantasies. Like they're not lying to you when she says she doesn't fantasize. A lot of women do, but a lot of women don't. Not as much as men.

So a lot of times women need help kind of figuring out what their fantasies are. And so watching porn can be a good way to figure out what might turn around and what doesn't. It's not a great way to learn about sex, but it's a great way to learn about, it's not a great way to learn about sex, but it's a great way to learn about, it's not a great way to learn about specific tactics for intercourse, specific tricks and techniques

because a lot of times porn is shot just so it looks good, but it doesn't mean you can learn anything from it, but you can learn about our fantasies. And also, if a woman says she doesn't have fantasies another way to get her talk about it and to get her to figure it out, is to ask her what she really likes about sex. Like what's your favorite part,

what turns her on the most, and maybe from there, when you have that conversation about like, what really turns her on, or what's the most memorable night she's ever had with you, or what was the best sex ever, and why? If you start asking those questions, it can lead maybe perhaps into fancies. And yeah, just take her out.

Have a hotel night, Take a little trip. We can trip. Totally have hotel nights. Or just a little weekend trip and stuff like that. See where it goes from there. Exactly. And I think that, yeah, it's totally fine that you fantasize about her being with other men,

but you don't really want it to happen. Fantacies are twofold like that. Some fantasies you actually have fantasized and you want to happen. And a lot of fantasies you have, you don't really want to happen, right, menace? No. OK. So you know what has mentally destroyed me

What keeps on popping into my head? Uh-oh Is he kept up there was the vagina and weener injuries and stuff like that? yesterday show My god, I can't believe I'm telling you this I Been mortified ever since. Because you shared the story about the woman shoving up a potato up for for Jaina and then it was growing. Vines.

Vines. Down her leg, yeah. And I went home, I went grocery shopping, I went home and then on top of my refrigerator was a potato. Okay, now I cannot get it at my mind when you're just reading stories and stuff like that. I'm just thinking about the woman with the potato of a vagina like. Yeah. This older woman, elderly woman was afraid that her uterus was falling out so she stuck a potato up there to hold in and then it started growing vines on her

out of her vagina. Next day. That is just crazy. Now, People are crazy things with the vagina penises, so that's just a note to all of you to not stick things inside of that shouldn't be in there. I just weird like, it takes, for that kind of stuff, it takes maybe sometimes a good year to get on my head.

Really? Before I forget about it. Oh, I should have wanted you. There's a part in a movie. There's a part in a movie. There's a part in a movie that I think about. Maybe a couple of times a week. It's just like. What is it?

Is it sexy thing? No, it's not sexy. I would like disturbing. Oh, disturbing. What is it? What is it? Okay. Oh my God.

There's this movie. It was really popular like a couple months ago People started talking about it. It's on Netflix and it's really disgusting. It's called the human centipede, right? Oh, I've heard about this now It's not it doesn't have to do with the human centipede itself It's just a part in the movie where this woman has an IV hooked up to her and she's like tries to run out of the bed And then the IV like comes out of her arm and it's really graphic and then I'm always, like I think about that,

like I think about an IV coming out of my arm and I don't know why this stuff is. You gotta get this stuff out of your head. I don't know, you need more images to come in. You just need to like, transfer those, replace those thoughts. I'll just be, you know, la la la having nice things. And I'm just gonna be like, IV human's gonna be. And the IV, like, oh, menace. I don just be, you know, la la la having nice day. And I'm just gonna be like, I need people to be like,

I need people to be like, oh, menace. I don't know what it happens to. I just think about the pain that if that was real life, how painful that would be. That would be so painful. Now I have that and the potato and the vagina. Sorry.

That's your day show everyone. If you missed it, penis and vagina accidents, they're hilarious. If you go to sex family, you become a friend's benefit's member. You can listen to the entire show. Sweet. OK, let's call our guest now.

All right, let's see. I'm really excited. Cunning Mix is her name. She's the host of Poly Weekly, which is a really successful podcast. And we're going to chat with her. Let's give her a ring. Right. How long do we give me a second?

So yeah, it's a podcast responsible for non-monogamy from a kink-friendly pansexual point of view. Podcast devoted to tales from the front of responsible non-monogamy, kink-friendly, that did all this stuff. She's going to talk about. Very excited. You call her?

I'm trying. How little? What? I want to dial a number Okay, okay hold on And then Some things we're going to talk about is so she's been polyamorous relationships Polly dating one oh one like if you think about polyamory, you think about opening up your relationship,

how do you do it? Uh... BEEP Let's get it. BEEP Remember, don't talk over the kids who cut out. Hello? Hi, cutting mix. Hi, yes it is. Hi. I'm not going to call on Skype.

No, I actually emailed you. We're calling you on yourself, so because it doesn't work, Skype to Skype. It's a little bit delayed. It's delayed, so hi. Can you hear us? Sorry, yeah, the Philpomotate&T, so it drops a lot. Oh, no. Yeah, it's just, there's a delay factor when we try to talk on Skype.

What? There's a delay factor on Skype. I'm sorry, I can't hear you. Okay. There's a delay factor on Skype. This is not going to work. We'll try here. Do you have a... Okay, I don't have your...

Give me your... We'll try your Skype. Hold on, hold on. No, not on the air. Hold on, hold on. No, not on the air. I'm not on the air. Okay.

Just have to enter and email it. Okay. Okay, I'll call you right back. We'll call you back. Okay, thanks. Okay, thanks. Damn AT&T. I swear.

I have AT&T. And I'm not afraid to say that it blows. I know. In this area, or a lot of areas, you can't, I know it sounds ridiculous that, oh, well, if you're inside and you're using your cell phone, I mean, you should be using a landline. Well, some people, I don't even have a landline at my house.

I just use my cell phone. Luckily, it works at my house. Yeah, exactly. So, I'll call her back. We're going to get that number in a second. Yeah, 18T, that's why I don't do it. But I'm going to get an iPhone this week. Oh, this week? No, probably next week.

Oh, man, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I want to get you on Instagram, because Instagram is my favorite app ever. Why do you love it? Because everyone's looking at your photos all the time. It's just visual. I want to get you on Instagram because Instagram is my favorite app ever why why do you love it? Because everyone's like a photo is all the time. It's visual. It's a visual. It's something visual added with all these like status updates You know, versus Twitter and Facebook do you every day?

Instagram, I don't every day. We should do a picture of us today. It's been a really long time. I think we're so cute together Okay, yeah together. Okay. Yeah, totally. Okay, I, I could probably find a number here if I do a search on my email. All right. Is that a name? I don't know.

We just gotta. We just gotta do it. We'll try it out. Okay, well, I didn't bring it because I thought it wouldn't work, but maybe it will work. Okay. Okay. I got it, ready?

We'll assume back listening to this. All right. You guys will assume you can't, okay? Okay, no, ready? We'll see him back listening to this. All right. You guys will see me. Okay. Okay. No, no, you can't read it out to me. Look at the top one. Okay.

All right. Okay. Two zero six. That's long I'll say. Very good. Okay. You can talk. She talks.

So anyway, we're talking to Connie makes. She has a really successful podcast called really interesting podcast called Polly Weekly. We can talk. She talks. So anyway, we're talking to Connie Makes. She has a really successful podcast called, really interesting podcast called, Polly Weakly. And we're going to talk to her. Here we go. Hopefully this works. Is that a busy signal? I don't know, it's ringing.

I think it's a ringing thing. Really? Hi. Can you hear us now? Go get your you guys very well. That's annoying. I know. We're so sad.

We're dying to talk to you. Hello. Hello. We can darned to talk to you. It's just hello. Hello. Hello. Yeah, can you hear it? We can hear you perfectly fine. You know what? Let me try putting on the headphones.

Do you want to see that makes it different? Oh, that would make a difference. That should be good. Thanks everyone for your patience. The headphones should be better. All right. How about that? Can you still hear me?

Yeah. I can hear you fine. Let me turn the volume up on you guys. Is this one? All right. How about that? Can you still hear me? Yeah. Can you hear me fine. Let me turn the volume up on you guys. Is this on the 2.6 number that you called? Yes. Okay.

I'm not sure it's funny. I thought it rang to Skype first, but I guess it rang straight through to my cell phone. Oh. I just didn't help it all. Did it? No. No. Can you go stand outside?

Just turn off your cell phone and we'll call you right back. Yeah, you want to turn off your cell phone and then it won't ring to your cell phone? Is that true, Mattis? We're going to try it. I have a trick. Yeah, if we cut time, let's try that. Okay, we'll do that. We got time.

We're not. People want this. It's free Friday. Okay. Okay. Okay. Everybody. You can see there's some of the questions I'm going to be asking her is, because probably I was relationships are people who love many. They're in primary partner and they date

other people and they, you got it, menace. Okay. So primary partner and they have many other partners and I think many other partners. And I think it's interesting. Today, I was talking to my intern Alicia about it, and she was saying that how does someone, it's confusing. How do you decide that you're in a relationship with someone and you love them? And the whole premise is like, I just have enough love for this one person, but there are

whole theories that you can have love for many people. So we're going to get into that. All right. Try it again. Okay. Like, gambling that ringing sounds so weird. So weird. You gotta call my buddy, he works at Skype. We need a Skype buddy yesterday because we couldn't. Hello, you've reached the title. Oh no. All right, one more time. We're gonna do one more time then we're just gonna have to give up and we'll talk to you. She can't call us, right? She could call us.

Oh, I'm getting frustrated. Sorry. Okay, I'll calm down. I'll chill. Really will calm down. All right, here we go again. I hear a kill again. We do confirm emails about this. What do you mean about the landline? No, it did. I just said I did I said hello I'm done. Okay, email her will we'll talk to her Okay, I'm Monday. Okay, we'll drink Monday. Yep. Talk to her Monday. Okay, great. All right, so sad. So over the weekend,

and you're gonna go all these parties, are you gonna have sex or what? And what kind of sex would you have? I would have amazing sex this weekend. No, describe it. I don't want to hear, oh, it's amazing. And you leave it at that. No, I want to hear how you would get down and dirty Like how would you like it if you had sex this weekend? Well, what kind of mood are you in? You know, I'm angry. You know angry mood. So you you would want to like a doggy You would like people like to take out anger on you or would you like to take the anger out on you? Yeah, I think I would like, I think I would like slow soft sensual sex that leads into hard, rough, angry sex. And what position would you like this?

I would like to have sex in a lot of different positions. Give me freaking one position. Stop being so biased. I like being on top. I like having sex all different ways. I like sex to be, I'd like a lot of foreplay. OK. I would like a lot of making out.

Yeah, would you be sitting on top of the gentleman while you're making out with him? I'll be straddling on. OK. Let's do that. I like to, because I'm small, and I can kind of like get in someone and get on a lap and make out with them and Yeah, and then I need to that and then um

Maybe some outdoor sex in the forest, baby. I don't know in the forest during the car I don't know is that car I don't know somewhere outside what's the last time you've had sex in a car in a car actual intercourse or just like four play. Actual intercourse. I'd say actual intercourse. Intercourse in the car has been a long time, but I know that I've performed oral sex in a car recently, not recently, in the last year or two. Okay. Yeah, because I didn't actually, I didn't remember that I did this, but I ran into a friend that I sent him sleep with, and he was like, oh, don't you remember that you, whatever, then remember it.

I did. Too many glasses of wine that night. Too many glasses of wine that night, I messed up. So yeah, I don't know the problem with that. Especially if you're not driving, because the other day in our crazy penis of a dine accident story, someone was performing roadhead on a guy,

they got an accident, She bit us penis off She why so anti road head. I know that's one I'm a bit is penis off. That's one story out of a billion times Your head is given out so yeah, there's a story the out the other day that there might be arsenic in Apple juice should people stop drinking apple juice Just because one out of a billion people in my dad. Yes Don't have road ahead on the road go do it inside. Oh, you're terrible But I guess you know fun. I should try something different this weekend

Yeah, just because I should practice what I preach Which is to always try something different despite the relationship And we were going into the weekend right now What have you done differently lately in your relationship? of your relationship, and we were going into the weekend right now. What have you done differently lately in your relationship? Because I feel like, personally, what I know, people have sex the same way over and over and over and over again. Like, you get into relationship, you get into a routine, you're like, I'm going to go on

top and she's going to go on top, and I'm going to do her from behind, and that's when all of an orgasm or whatever it is. Try to do something different this weekend. Like try to do something like, slow it down, slow is good. We had that amazing email yesterday from that listener who said he took all of our advice and he had amazing sex and gave us what his because of because of our show. His girlfriend had three her first not only her first orgasm, but three orgasms because he slowed it down. He forgot everything from

his past. He was like, I'm not going to do my past girlfriend from wanted he paid attention to her body and how she reacted to him performing oral sex on her and then he rocked her world. Do you think tonight there's since you're going to a political party that there'll be a lot of sex being had? Doesn't that know? Not during the party. Not during the party. No, I'm saying afterwards. Maybe people get drunk and really horned up around political stuff. They do?

I don't know. Maybe they do. You worked in politics? I did work in politics for a long time. It was, it's a very passionate, it's a very intense when you work, because I used to work on political campaigns and you get very tense and you get very caught up with it. And I had a boyfriend on the campaign. We couldn't tell him when we were dating.

It was secret. We had sex in the office and no one knew. It was really fun. But yeah, it is very intense. Especially the people you're working with, talk about yesterday, we had a long talk about, should you sleep with your coworkers? And I did on campaigns, because literally,

it was 70s to week, 24 hours a day, and I ended up sleeping with someone on the campaign. It seems though, the guys that are not on top are kind of annoying, because they're really super passionate about, they're super passionate about, they're actually passionate about what people are running for. You know, and every time, I mean, I'm not sleeping with these guys,

but every time I get around them, they're so passionate and over the top, I kind of find them annoying. And I'm wondering if these guys, they're getting laid, the ones that are not, not the ones that are in power, but the ones that are just, working on the campaigns seem like very, yeah, I think they do. They do.

Yeah, as much. They don't get as late as much as the people on top though. As much as the candidates who are cheating on their wives or whatever. Yeah, no, they do. There's a lot of sex and politics are kind of very much related. But the problem with politics is they never talk about it. They're not, they're supposed to be very pure and I know, which is BS because everyone who's in that field

has the same, I mean, they say the reason why men empower, I'm just saying like male politicians and the men in power tend to cheat more because they're more, they have more testosterone and they're more likely to take dares and they're more likely to take risks in their life. And so that behavior leads to you being more likely to cheat because you have all that. Like all the things that lead you to do something to take risks and all that is also something that you're going to be risky about your sex life and you're going to be cheating and you're going to be doing whatever. So that's the like men in power.

Like why do they cheat? Why do they cheat? It has the cheat has to do with, it's those behaviors that we hand in hand. So people who are in politics are very driven, they're very, you know, they're smart, they're driven, they're aware, they're whatever, they're involved, they like people, they like meeting. So I think a lot of sex goes on in politics.

Yeah, and then with women cheating, I feel, is a lot of times they're just trying to trade up. They're trying to trade up. Really? True or not true? Aren't men trying to trade up. They're trying to trade up. Really? True or not true? Aren't men trying to trade up all the time? No. They're always looking for the bigger battery.

No, they just want to get laid. No, no, no, they're just gain laid. They just want to diversify. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't necessarily want to go out. Women are always trying to date up. I don't know. I don't know.

They're trying to date up all the time. That's the number one reason I think they cheat. They're trying to date up. And then the second reason is they want attention. They love attention. And then sometimes they're not getting in a home. We mean love attention? They love attention.

They feed off it. Men love attention too, men. Look at your career. Don't you love attention? I think that you're projecting on me because I think you really love attention. You're tweeting, you're this, you're pictures of this, you talk about your own stuff.

I think you love attention. No one's in this career if they don't love attention. You're tweeting, you're this, you're pictures of this, you talk about your own stuff. I think you love attention. No one's in this career if they don't like attention. I think we should look at that right now. Do you want to lay down on the couch and we can have a little third session? No, I don't. Okay, I'll admit this. I like getting attention for things that I have done, not attention for me. Is that making sense?

Yeah, totally. Me too. Like if I were a really cute outfit, I've done that. No, I'm just kidding. If I got the most, you know, most people that visit my blog and then tire company, like I want people to. I know, and you do that all the time.

I do that all the time, but I like it when that is the focus, not that because me as a person, though, just like accompanist, I like getting accomplishments. Right. I like getting those getting attention. Exactly. That's the way it is. But attention is a big factor in relationship. So if you're a guy, a dating woman, like just give is a big factor in relationship. So if you're a guy, a dating woman, like just give them a, I do think that women like to feel adored and they like to feel loved and adored

and so the more you can tell them how great they are. The problem is, sometimes I'm afraid, I'm afraid to give them too much attention. I know, but menace, this is your problem. Yeah, because then they take advantage. No, we've had this conversation and it's not true. They take advantage. And then they're like, oh, this guy gets me attention all the time.

So when I do, it's not, it's not special. Yeah, it's not. I mean, I'm not saying all the time. I'm just 10 times a day. But I think that it is special. And I think that you think that the woman, if you compliment that, and they're gonna think, oh, I've got them, I've got them, I've got them. so I'm gonna move on to someone else and that's not true. You do?

They do women need that guys get bored you guys get bored But we need to know that you adore us you guys get bored We you fall asleep on me on a Friday To free Friday. I'm just a little tired because um that's I was free Thursday. No, it wasn't free Thursday It was just crazy Thursday um, We have somebody trying to call us. Why don't we just answer it real quick? Answer it, maybe it's our friend. Hello?

Hello. And they hung up. All right. No, there was a listener thinking we were trying to call them, but that was just an accident. All right, we're wrapping it up. I'm gonna try it. Thanks so much for listening to this.

And we apologize for the technical difficulties. I promise you, I'm not happy again. wrapping it up. Okay, we're wrapping up. Thanks so much. Let's see. We apologize for the tackle a little difficulty. Yeah, we're gonna be the show will be awesome. I would just need to get through this week. It's been a little bit of rough week. It's been a rough week. It's been a rough week. I guarantee you on Monday, we are gonna be back in full force. Full force. And I'm so sorry, cutting mix. I really, really was so psyched to talk to you. I've been looking for it. We'll get a workout for Monday. From Polly with me.

We're gonna have Ron Monday if she can do it. Okay everyone thanks for listening to Sex with the Emily Happy Friday. It was good for you. Email me feedback at sexwithamely.com