Sex With Emily - Episode 302 - How to Make a Sex Tape
Episode Date: September 27, 2011If Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson can do it two times, why can’t you? Today Emily walks you through how to make your very own sex tape, and most importantly, what to do with it when you’re done ...(hint: not leaving it on your zip drive at the office). Emily shares her favorite sex story about Menace, talks about dating bad boys, and the possibility of "ecstasy" killing cancer. Menace thinks he’d make a good part-time Teletubby, and we talk about oral sex in marriage and how to make long-distance relationships last. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Emily. You got a boyfriend?
Because, uh, my man, he here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.
The girls got a hair stand. It's a lie.
The women know about shrinkage.
Isn't it common, Emily?
What do you mean, like, laundry? It's drinks?
Can we not talk about sex so much?
Are you kidding me?
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. You're listening to Sex with Emily.
We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between.
For more information, go to sexwithamely.com or many of you are there right now watching the show.
You can watch and listen live Monday, Tuesday,
Thursday and Friday from Wednesday to Pacific Standard Time.
If you're a friend's benefits member,
which we so appreciate all our friends benefits,
thank you so much.
Glad to be here today.
And if you're not a member, just go to sexwithamely.com.
Yeah, and become a member because it's awesome.
It's the best thing you can do.
Let me get the full show.
So if you're listening to a clip right now,
right on Stitcher, just go ahead and go to sexelmy.com, get a password, and then you can listen to the full show.
Exactly. And you won't want to miss it because we're doing amazing shows and we're giving you all the
sex information you need. It's like 15 cents a day for better sex, which I think is totally worth
thinking, speaking better sex. I've got a book kind of coming out called Hot Sex over 200 things you can try two nights. Um, and it's actually really good. I showed
it yesterday during the show. I'm, I know it's my own book and you're like, yeah, of course
you're going to say your own book is really good. But really it is just those little twist,
little things you could do if you're like my sex life's become stagnant. We're doing the
same thing over and over again. There are some amazing tips in there. And we give you
tips here on the show every day too.
And as a guy, the illustrations are just crazy.
They're hot.
They're really hot, the illustrations.
So it's coming out October 11th, you can pre-order an Amazon.
It's called Hot Sex and just start for my name.
Well, the new way to say crazy on the street is cray.
It's cray.
Cray?
Yeah.
I don't know this.
Yes, now I just need to learn something.
I'm glad you teach me everything. Yeah, that is so good.
So cray right now.
Yeah, so cray.
It's cray.
It's cray.
My life is free and cray.
But in a really, really good way.
I'm so excited.
My mom's coming to town on Thursday from Michigan, and she's going to be our guest on Thursday.
Sweet.
Yeah, as you recall, this actually fits well into our topic today.
My mother was on the show about four years ago.
And I were doing a live show. And we were talking and there was a caller that came
in and said something about making a sex tape. And I was like, I would not make a sex tape.
Can you believe it, mom? Would you make a sex tape? And she said, well, maybe I have made
a sex tape. So apparently my mom made a sex tape with my stepdad years ago. So who knows
what she's going to reveal on Thursday?
Cool. Is it on you porn?
No, she deleted it because she was afraid we'd find it. Thank God. Do you want to find your mother sex tape? No, no. Hell no. So we got
to think we're going to talk to her. But if it's somebody else's mother sex tape,
I mean, no, you wouldn't want to. No way. I don't know. My mom's very open. Obviously,
look where I am and she's really cool and she's got great advice and great things to say.
So that would be super fun. Today's show is about how to make a sex tape. The right smart way to do it. If you're going to do it because people are doing
it, I'm not a huge fan. I'm saying like you can make a sex tape as long as you're really,
really don't trust that your boyfriend forever. You're going to be together and he's never
going to show anyone. Make sure you have your hands on that tape and you delete it. You have
a copy of it. You have an agreement. It's locked up in a safe. But if you do all those things
and you trust this person and you're going to make a sex tape anyway, we're going gonna tell you the right way to do it. I'd love to hear the tips that you have
I know I haven't seen any of them. I know you haven't and you've made a bunch of sex tapes so you can probably have
I can tell you if they're right or not exactly because men says zone library which he's never shared
I'm not I'm not one to share it's for me. I'm not that guy. He's not that guy. Yeah, exactly which I love
I'm the best person to make a sex tape with
Really? Yeah, because I don't want it out there either
That should be on your website. Yeah, that should be your tagline. I'm the best person you could ever make a sex tape with
Yes
Yeah, something like that. I should change my my profiles. Yeah, you should what is your website if you want to find you white menace calm
Right, that's so easy. I love it. There's so many
good things there. I know he's the
best. You got to check it out. And
also if you want to call in and you
have any questions or comments today,
it's for one five nine nine two,
seven three nine two. You can also
leave us a voicemail anytime with
your comments, questions, ideas,
anything you want to say, you can
have a voice on our voicemail. And
we will play it during the show.
And don't forget, free Fridays, the show is free.
Every Friday, everyone, we've got an hour-long show,
anyone in the world can listen to it.
And that's what I got for you.
We've got a poll.
We have the results to our latest poll.
I'd like to tell you about them.
Our question was, have you ever had a friends
with benefits relationship?
Have I ever?
Maybe the result would come in.
You have, right? Yes. Here are the questions ever? Have the result. Correct. You have, right?
Yes.
Here's where the questions.
Here were the answers.
I mean, the options for your answers.
8% said no.
Personally, I wouldn't have one.
17% said yes and it failed.
29% said yes and we're still friends.
And a whopping 46% said no but I'm open to the idea. So apparently, funds benefits relationships have not gotten enough bad rap
because 46% of people want to try it.
Of course.
Of course they do.
Why not?
I've tried it.
I've had, I've actually had more of those in the last few years and I've had regular relationships.
Yeah.
And they've all worked out swimmingly.
Yeah, the firm, I had a couple.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm so honest about where I'm at.
And this is only this and we're because if you have a
friend's benefits relationship, we went through a trend where we had
a bunch of emails about friends benefits like last year, like for some reason, it was like
friends benefits a month.
That everyone was emailing me about it.
And I think the thing is the key thing is you have to make sure you're both in the same
page. Like you have to be really honest about where you're at.
I'm dating other people. This is never going to go anywhere. I mean, whatever those things are, this is the place to make sure you're both in the same page. Like you have to be really honest about where you're at, I'm dating other people, this is never going to go anywhere.
I mean whatever those things are, this is the place to be honest because a lot of times
what happens is one person gets hurt, one person wants more than the other.
Yeah and I have to tell you this, if it goes so what is this, once they start saying that
where they kind of want more than what you're doing right you have to cut it off
You can't keep on having sex
Exactly
Because it's gonna go all bad because eventually right someone's gonna want more or it happens usually someone wants more
They want to define it. Mm-hmm. Or there's always the case of someone's thinking yeah, I'll do this casual sex thing
But eventually he's gonna pick me or she's gonna
Yeah, I definitely had that happen where it's their idea.
It's their idea and then suddenly they want more.
They swallow a piece of the most action.
You were the one that set up the situation.
Exactly.
That was their tactic to get a little menace.
Yeah, and then they're like, oh, I can convince him.
Exactly. No, you ain't convinced me.
I think women, I know I think men do this too.
I'm not going to say either, but I think a lot of people get into relationships thinking
they're going to change the other person and the other person.
I learned that from my mother.
Nobody changes unless they want to change, but you're not going to change the person you
dating.
So if you're in a relationship right now and you're with someone, you're like, but if only
he did this, this and that, or maybe one day she'll do this, not gonna happen.
Well, that's kind of the plot right now
with two and a half men.
Oh, you're a new favorite show.
When you favorite show, I'm watching now
because I like the coach.
The coach.
The coach.
The coach.
I'm like, huh?
The coacher.
I asked him a good job.
That's amazing that he's doing.
He's doing a good job.
I don't think the plot line is as ridiculous it was before.
I used to think it was, and I shouldn't be saying this
because it was a word for the company,
the worst show on television, but I didn't understand why
it was hugely popular.
It doesn't matter what I have to say about it.
No, not at all, never.
It was like number one, but now I'm really enjoying it with him.
And so the plot line is kind of like,
I'll tell you what's happening.
Because if you're not watching it, then you should already, you should already
know. Okay. Okay. So I'm not really going to get away with it. So tell me. Anyways, the plot line is
Charlie Sheen, he dies. And they have to sell Charlie Sheen's house. And the brother has been living
with him for years, like for free. So they're going through the whole ceremony and the brother's sitting
in the house and he's contemplating what has happened and then suddenly you see Ashton
Kutcher at the window and he's soaking wet, right? He opens doors and he's like, what's wrong
with you? And he goes, oh, I just try to kill myself, right?
He's trying to jump in the ocean
because the house is on beach front properly, right?
He goes, why are you trying to kill yourself?
And he goes, because my wife has left me, right?
Okay.
And he goes, all things aren't that bad.
My wife left me too. And he goes, you things aren't that bad. My wife left me two and he goes, you could, you know, or you like dead broke, he's like,
no, I'm actually worth two billion dollars.
Oh my god.
Because he sold something, something to Microsoft, right?
So that's the plot.
So that's where you left off with the first part.
Okay.
And they go and they, they go out and they front, they have drinks and they become friends and all the
stuff. So the next episode is you find out why the wife
broke up with him. Okay. Because he's like totally hung up on
the wife. Like he's he's speeding over the house, he's
breaking into the house and trying to talk to her. And she
explains to the to the brother that's been hanging out with
this guy, Ashen Kutcher, why they broke up.
And he goes, because he never grew up.
Oh, Peter Pan syndrome.
Yeah, Peter Pan, he's like a young billionaire, you know,
and he just acts like a kid.
And she's like, I'm tired of being a mom and taking care of him.
And he goes, I take care of myself.
And he goes, she goes, who does your laundry?
Who does this?
Who does that?
Right. Love it.
Does everything for him. So that? Right, love it.
Does everything for him.
So that's why they broke up.
And then so they had a leave and then they go back to Charlie Sheen's old house, which
the billionaire just bought.
He goes, I like this house, I'm just going to buy it.
And now he said, since they become friends with the, he became friends with the brother,
now the brother's saying.
So they're still living there.
So it's kind of like Charlie Sheen, like the two of you.
Yeah.
The half is that there's a little kid.
Well, okay, I literally have never seen him.
He hasn't really been too much part of the episodes,
but it's just building the friendship between them.
But at the end of the episode, the wife shows up
and says that he wants to talk.
She wants to talk to him.
So then you don't know. now I want to watch the third episode
This is so good good television. So I wonder if he won't move out though
Yeah, because that would ruin the show. Yeah, so
The wife is she cute. Yeah, she's really cute. I don't
Remember what her name is she's not a huge actress, but she's had some roles
That's kind of a clever twist they did.
Yeah, I think it was really, I was totally thinking, oh, this is going to suck and all
that, but it was actually a really smooth transition.
Oh, cool.
So you can watch two and a half men on CBS.com.
You can watch that.
You can.
Okay. But now that I have a television, I can watch it on my television too.
You can set up your DVR.
My DVR, which I will do, and I'm doing.
That sounds good.
You watched it last night.
I went to a giant's game last night with my interns.
Shut up.
And I'm so sad you weren't there.
Like, we all look each other like, where's medicine?
I have to apologize.
Like, we ordered tickets.
It was like a month ago.
And.
You didn't even tell me yesterday.
I forgot.
Oh, you didn't tell me on
purpose. No, I didn't. It wasn't until we got there. We're like, I mean, because I
always assume you're so busy, you go to bed early, you went of gone, and you don't
like sports. It's cool. Next game you're coming to. Next season. You kind of
told me about it a long time ago. Right. What you've gone. I'm sad. I would have
gone because remember my one of my ex-girl with a giant so it could have got names
up on the jumbo tron.
Minus next time. Well, we had a
blast and we had so much fun and
without the internet. Sorry, but
they're like, okay, sporting first
while it was the most beautiful
night in San Francisco, which is
never warm in San Francisco.
We have the most amazing
ballpark that's right on the
water. And it's on the right of
the bay and it's beautiful. It's
warm and nice and there's a lot
of good looking dudes at the Giants game.
I'm like, if you're a chick and you're not even into sports
because I really wasn't watching, I was like,
should we get more beers, should we get more popcorn,
whatever like I wasn't watching?
Good looking, a lot of dudes.
It's a dude fast.
I mean, obviously, to most people.
The guys like baseball.
No, no, no, that's really obvious,
but I never go to baseball games.
I've been to like, I've lived here for a while.
I've probably been to three Giants games.
I know so much fun.
We had a freaking blast. Hot chicks. Yeah, they're into it. Go to baseball games. Go to sporting events
Yeah, I really can't go to that and let's I'm getting wasted because baseball super boring
But um there's a ten bucks. Yeah, but I noticed the hot girls. They're really into baseball and they're really into
I was about to say soccer, but hockey. Yeah.
How we have they love hockey players.
They love watching the hockey players fight. Exactly. Exactly.
I think it's hot. So that was really fun. It was a fun, beautiful, like I'm so glad I live in San Francisco.
Even if it's cool, I'm going to be really sad. We were really sad. Lauren, we were sad.
Yeah. We were like making chicken and rice. Oh, I'm sorry.
Actually, I made a soap top stuff.
You made soap top stuffing?
Yeah.
Good for you.
How's the cooking show coming?
Good.
Good.
I am almost on my logo done for the last time.
You got to check that out.
You got to teach me how to cook.
Yeah.
So here's our new poll that people have to answer at sexcellly.com.
All right.
Do you talk about your sex exploits with your friends?
I'm a man, and I keep it to myself.
I'm a man, and my buddies, and I enjoy talking about it.
I'm a woman, and I don't kiss and tell.
I'm a woman, and that's all we talk about.
Those are your options.
I know what you're going to say.
You never talk about it.
You're a dude, and you don't talk about it.
But I think a lot of guys do.
So I want to hear from people. We want to get your answers. Go to our website and you don't talk about it. But I think a lot of guys do. So I want
to hear from people, we want to get your answers, go to our website and check out the poll.
No way. Yeah. Guys don't do that. Tons of guys do. Yeah, they do. I've actually asked
guys lately because I said, do you show sexy pictures if they someone sends them to
you? They're like, for sure. Like my guy friends always show me because we're talking
about who's text sexy photos. And you were saying that guys don't sure that stuff. Guys
don't talk about sex. What do I think they do?
No they don't. I mean at least the people and I have a very eclectic group of
friends all type of friends. But you're the common denominator maybe they think
you don't want to talk about it which is ironic because you're on the sex show.
Yeah but I don't know I don't want to see, I don't wanna see my buddy's chick naked.
I don't care.
Right, right, you know.
You get to my buddy's chick,
I'm never gonna sleep with her, who cares.
Right, I get it.
A lot of guys don't feel that way.
This bra was before hose, you feel me?
I feel you man, I feel you, that was for hose.
That's my, man, talking.
That's my, man, talking.
I remember sitting with my friend's brother,
a few years ago and he was just dating this girl,
and he's now married to,
so that shows that it wasn't just some flusy.
He's now married to her, she's amazing,
but he was like, when they first started dating,
he was like, check this out,
and it was like her naked and some cheerleading skirt.
We were at dinner, he goes, look at this photo,
and he had no problem showing me this picture
of this woman just to be his wife.
Yeah, but you know this is one of the sex person.
No, it's because we're friends,
it wasn't because I'm sex person.
Yeah. He was just like psyched
He was showing it to everyone at our table. There's like ton of us at dinner
He's like look and maybe you think that's disrespectful, but I think there's a lot of guys who's first impulse is like
Oh my god, that's so hot and they show everyone. I want to know what people think me sex with Emily locked down
That's good. It's good to know
We mentioned feel very safe sending you their sex
That's good. It's good. Password's on. We mentioned feel very safe. I'm a phone.
I'm a phone.
I have. I actually just took. Took off. Last night. That's where well you guys were having fun at the baseball game. What I was doing I took off
6800 photos from my phone shut up. Yeah, where'd you put them all this back them up on a hard drive. Wow. Which another hard drive that you can't get into
because it's past. Did you sort through all them?
6800 or you just downloaded them all?
I just I just took them off.
Wow. I was right out of my phone.
Which because why? I was running out of room.
Right. Totally. That happens.
Yeah.
Okay. Anything good? No, so any sexy photos?
There was there was some sexy photos in there.
Like, can I see them?
They're gone now
Man you would show them to me though
Maybe yeah, if we were together, you would show them to me. Yeah, I think well
I send you I send you a picture of chicken me blowjob one time, but oh my god
But that was only that was only cool because the chick the chick was on the phone with you and she said it was cool.
That's not what happened.
I don't know. I was held dry. I don't remember.
Exactly. I'll tell you everyone what happened. This is actually my favorite
men's story. I'd say it's my top five favorite men's stories.
Really? It's like Saturday night and I'm like a loser doing nothing or something at this point
at night and my phone rings and I'm like driving back from the convenience store
buying like half and half for coffee or something.
It's Saturday night, Menace calls me and he's like,
hey, guess what I'm doing.
And I'm like, what?
He's like, I'm having sex right now.
I'm like, really?
And then this chick gets on the phone.
He's like, do you want to talk to her?
I'm like, yeah, sure.
And she gets to when she's like, hi.
And then I talk to this girl.
And then you guys went back to having sex.
Yeah. And then I'm like, I'm listening you guys went back to having sex. Yeah.
And then I'm like, I'm listening to matters having sex.
Yeah, but then I don't know.
But yeah, I thought the photo thing's cool because-
And then you sent me a picture of her having given you a blowjob.
Yeah.
And-
Where is that photo?
I don't know.
Dang, I'm gonna sell it.
But the thing is, the only reason I shared it from you because she was cool with it.
If she wasn't cool with it, then I would never show it to you.
Right.
Yeah.
I'm sure when you guys were both in your drunken stupor, she consented.
She did.
Yeah, that's awesome.
She considered to talk to you on the phone.
Most of it, I know.
That was awesome.
Whatever happened in that check, who you probably didn't even know it was.
I thought you don't know how to do it.
I do.
That was funny.
That was a top five-man story.
She's a classy lady.
I love that he was having sex and you thought of me.
That's the part where I was the most touched.
Oh, because you love when you get the attention.
No, and that you really care about me.
And you want you to prove to me that you actually have sex, which I was proven.
You're blown away, right?
You're blown away, actually.
Okay, I've got some sex in the news okay
surprise kafandi now not in a relationship with jesse james
the broke up again after the tattooed you broke up in july only to get back
together again august we knew when belong to adhere things they weren't
working out
with that days come rumors about the relationship about sander bullets acts
which is why we care i guess
and he says i am not a kafandi says I am not in a relationship right now.
It sounds like this second split was a result of James
not treating his currently purple haired lady
the way she deserves.
It was clear to me that we were just on two different paths
in life, undie explains people.
My friend put it best.
When he said I can never be more deserving
of total noble love.
And as a woman, I think it's important to know your value
and never lose sight of that.
I wish Jesse nothing of the best.
So he's treating her like dirt is what she's saying.
Yeah.
She's like, I deserve to be treated like a woman
and he's treated me like a bitch.
It seems like cat's relationships.
I met her a couple of times.
She's super sweet.
Like couldn't be nicer.
But it just, I don't think she picks the right guys for her.
No, probably not. Jesse James, not the right guy. And she's actually, people don't be nicer, but it just I don't think she picks the right guys Well, probably not Jesse James not the right guy and she's actually people don't know this
But she's actually pretty young. So I think that's probably why and she just just dating
Just dating around just dating the wrong guys for her and stuff like that and then right just getting getting
In trouble. What you thinking like Jesse James is like the right just like the right guy. Like after what happened with Sandra Bullock
and all that stuff, all the cheating.
Yeah, I think she just...
Why would you trust someone after that?
I think she just kind of likes the bad boy mentality.
Right, because of the bad boy,
you can't keep him away from them.
Yeah.
Yeah, no matter what.
No matter what.
No matter what.
And guys, if you try to butt in and try to save these ladies
from bad boys, it's never gonna work out. Do not waste your time.
They're not going to change. Just like we said, going back to what I said at the beginning
of the show, people don't change that much. And unless they want to change and they do
work on themselves, they therapy, they do analysis of where they're at in their life, they're
going to keep dating the same people over and over again.
Yeah. And then if that girl, like, runs through, like, 25 bad guys, right. And then she's open to dating me.
I'm not gonna date her.
Right, right.
It's your an idiot.
Do you think it's important?
Like I think that'd be an interesting thing.
Like to go back and look at who someone else dated.
Like would you ever not date a girl?
Then obviously you're saying that.
Like if you heard she dated some dude that you hate,
would you not date a girl, even if you were a reliant or?
Yep, I would not.
You went later.
Nope.
Okay, I think it's interesting.
People's dating patterns. Yeah, And I don't say that a mature of me, but that's just
this how I feel. Right. Got it. But I like when I'm dating a guy and he's like, Oh, I've
dated, you know, I know the chick's he's dated and they're all super cool. And that's good.
It's a good endorsement. Okay. The L word actors kicked off flight for kissing her girlfriend.
I heard they say, Haley star of show times, Leslie, Lesbian field drama, the L-word actors kicked off flight for kissing her girlfriend. I heard this. Lisa Haley, star of Showtime's Lesbian Field Drama of the L-World, was kicked off a Southwest
Airlines flight for doing what she does on TV kissing her girlfriend.
According to Haley's tweet, Fluttersen said that it was a family airline and kissing
was not okay, because families really hate kissing, also hand-holding and other
lovey-dovey signs of affection.
Southwest responded with this lame statement.
And this report's indicate that we receive
several passenger complaints
characterizing the behavior as excessive.
Our crew responsible for the comfort
of all customers on board, approach the passengers
based solely on the behavior and not on gender.
Dude, what is, how was Southwest?
They say they're gay friendly,
and had nothing to do with them being two women.
Oh, I mean, I'm sure most of the flight tenants are gay
But why can't you make out an airplane? I've made out an airplane. Yeah, I don't know people get ultra sensitive when kids are around
Yeah, I mean I wasn't like fully on getting it on but I'm sure I've made out an airplane. Yeah, it's I don't know
What's going on with Southwest lately? They kicked off
Billy Joe from Green Day just recently off of flight because his pants were sagging a little bit low
Really? Yeah, so what that would be you right? Yeah, be me. I'd be like fuck you
I'm all about Virgin America anyways bitches
I know but Southwest has the best on time record. I don't give a crap
It's the gray hound of the skies. It is a toilet. It is toilet
But they're always
on time. They're never delayed. San Francisco flights are always delayed. Southwest are not.
Well, that's great. But I guess I don't want to go there and make out with any. I have actually
a guy. I actually got denied on a Southwest flight, but I was just, I was intoxicated in San Diego.
You got denied. They win. Let me let me on. I have six hours menace a whole menace menace menace I know I sound like
alcoholic on the show but it's just it's a weekend I'm not really an alcoholic I
just play one on the show it's just when I party I just party hard I know it's
just a week you're just a weekend alcoholic weekend weekend warrior yep yep I
go hard on the weekends I know you do but yeah I don yeah, I don't know what's going on with that room.
I don't either.
But do you think you can give a hand job in airplane?
People have sex in airplanes all the time.
I think you can kick off for that.
Oh, yeah, of course.
Okay.
But this reminds me of a story I heard today.
Did you hear about the Victoria Secret thing?
No, tell me.
Okay.
Because children are involved.
There was a, it's a Bay Area mall.
I can't remember which one where they have a playground
Okay at the mall and
Across from the playground they just opened a Victoria secret
So you know how they have a Victoria secret ads of women and laundry and laundry
Of course the parents started complaining right and then they made a Facebook page and said it's ridiculous and blah blah blah.
And so the mall said, okay, we'll do something about it.
So they put up these like bamboo trees, they kind of block the area.
They say it's not enough.
And then they started interviewing these parents and there's a bunch of fat miserable bitches
That are just jealous of those hot chicks. Do you think that's what it is?
I should have had the chocolate chip muffin for breakfast. Get off the swings Peter. Every one that they interview of course
There's no
Guys that are complaining right but every one that they interviewed was this fucking fat front-e
But everyone that they interviewed was this fucking fat, frumpy chick that is just miserable about her life.
And that's why she's complaining.
Yeah, but if there's kids in there on the swing set and they're
staring at women's breasts, I don't know.
I could see that.
I don't really, I don't know.
OK, I got it though.
But it's like kids get used for everything.
You know that I get people all the time trying to win tickets for me for a contest and they
try to throw their kids in all time. Oh man, come on. I have kids like you
having kids. That's your choice. That's your choice to have kids. Right.
Doesn't mean that I'm gonna give you. I don't I don't care. I don't have I
don't have kids. I don't think that's a currency. I guess. Yeah. And it's to
try to use your kids for everything and I can't stand it. now. People think that's a currency, I guess. Yeah. They try to use their kids for everything,
and I can't stand it.
Yeah, okay, good to know.
I will never use a favor of kids.
This is an excuse.
Okay, Nancy Grace, that was not my nipple
on Dancing with the Stars.
The nip slip.
Nancy Grace's adamant, her nip did not slip
on Dancing with the Stars last night,
and insists the object that poked out of her dress last night
was merely a pasty.
Gracie tells TMZ,
when I got dressed, I was wearing pedals, nipple covers,
and an industrial strength bra.
My dancing dress also had a bra sewn into it.
She adds, I've been judged guilty without a trial.
I will go to my grave denying the nip slip.
As your previously reported Nancy has been hiding
various good luck terms in her bra and last night,
she says she was packing a photo of her twins in her twins.
I have you do you know these pedals that go around your breath?
They're like stickies.
May I go for an after she got a breast enhancement.
She stopped wearing a bronze wearing pasties.
Yeah, but they hurt when you rip them off.
Yeah, that she stopped doing that after a while.
Right, right. Because if you have your boobs on, you don't need to brow, which is a good way to do it.
But yeah, I could see though that those pasty things
do look like nipples, if that's really what she's talking about.
Yeah.
Yeah, I have some of those,
but they leave this awful red mark on your boobs,
not attractive, not a fan.
So that was last night.
That's night, dance with the stars.
I don't watch that show, but everyone else does.
Yeah, I actually saw footage after that story.
Did it look like a nip slip?
They cut it really fast so you can barely tell.
Look at it.
It doesn't matter.
But nip slips are huge on the internet.
Tag that on the website.
What?
Nip slip.
Nip slip.
Yeah.
Nancy Grace nip slip.
Tag that on the website.
People are searching it out.
People go to sex tonami.com.
Okay.
A little nugget for you guys. I love you, Manas. You're so good.
Okay.
Teacher fired for having sex with adults in private.
35-year-old Florida elementary school teacher Natalie was, Natalie sent to Gata was recently
fired after someone sent her employer photos and videos depicting her engaged in sex
acts with consenting adults.
She also may have smoked some weed in the videos.
Oops.
The office of the Charlotte County school district,
where she worked for the previous nine years,
most recently as a fifth grade teacher received four photos
and five videos,
reaching her performing various sex acts.
But the videos were created in private places
with no students or minors present.
School officials and the general public have criticized her
for her perceived moral shortcomings
without condemning those of the person
who sent the videos over the country.
The scrutiny is who do we allow to teach our children? Certainly not adults who have sex. I mean, that's crazy. She shouldn't get fired for that.
Yeah, that's, she never came to work high, presented her home or movies in her classroom. Whatever teacher, she gets, gets, smokes a joint and gets laid.
But she sure in a video tape didn't even know today's show is how to make a sex tape.
I think people get so messed up and they just like don't notice people filming them like what happens? laid. But she shouldn't have videotaped it even though today's show is how to make a sex tape.
I think you'll get so messed up and they just like don't notice people filming them like what happens. Yeah, don't ever videotape yourself getting high. Right. Don't do that. Yeah, exactly.
That's stupid. But I don't think she should have gotten fired. But it was in Florida. I'm not
saying they're in Florida, but there's always weird stuff going on in Florida. Florida is pretty crazy. Florida released a story. It was a Florida
Chronicle. Okay. SFL Chronicle.com, I believe, where they said that
XC has been proven 100% to kill
cancer cells. Wow. Yeah, I know that they've been doing research with XC for quite a while now.
Yeah, but they put that out there yesterday and their website like crashed.
Heck, really? It feels like your brain cells too. Yeah, but you know what, if I have cancer,
I'll be eat out all day. I know exactly. You're like, it might as well be really psyched
to have cancer, right? Yeah. That's so fun. I never heard didn't hear that story I probably want to like bang all the time to exactly what's wrong with that?
That's wrong with that. Yeah, XC but not a good drug
You got to get the you got to get it from the prescription XC though
You give prescription XC? Well, that's they I'm sure they all right
Yeah, the stuff your cancer. Yeah, I'm sure it's not you know stuff on the street
It's not gonna cure cancer is probably gonna kill you
Exactly be careful kids with drugs say no Yeah, I'm sure it's not, you know, stuff on the street is not going to cure cancer. It's probably going to kill you. Exactly.
Be careful kids with drugs.
Say no.
Okay.
That's why I've never done XSC because you could die from the first time.
Yeah, that's true.
People do die all the time when they OD on it and you don't know what's in it.
Yeah, it's made of like rat poison.
Get it from your doctor.
Yeah.
You have to get it.
Yeah.
But okay, let's get into some emails.
All right. all right today's topics include long distance relationships oral sex and marriage sex classes dating younger women and penis size
Okay, always penis size dear Emily my wife and I've been fighting a lot lately
We are very sexually active when I'm home, but right now I'm serving another term and bad dad
I'm wondering if our sex might be the glue of our relationship might be the glue of our relationship or if that
is even possible. I guess I'm asking for advice on what I can do
to keep my wife happy while being overseas. I hope you've time
to answer me back. I'm sure you get hundreds of messages every
day. I love the show. And I find it helps me stay focused on
missions in downtown bad dad. Love always Jim. Thanks Jim. Jim
thanks for serving thanks for serving our country. I
agree that sex is really the glue to many relationships and all I'm saying I
think that you know it's hard. What are you gonna do when you're gone? But
anyways that you can find to emotionally support her. Support her more than you
know like sending her notes sending her emails letting you know you're thinking
of our center sexy. I don't know how you do it like Skype have Skype sucks
Can you do that? Do they have access to computers? I don't know what it's like for being a soldier and Baghdad
But I mean there are things that you could do to I would say I mean women a lot of times it is sex is tied into a motion
So she feels like she's desired by you and she feels like you know, I mean this is just a temporary thing that you're away and
I would say that you just have to try to keep the romance alive through words, if you can, and through Skype sex, if you can, or phone sex or something like that.
But I mean, that's still never going to be enough.
And there's no replacement for the actual act of sex.
But whatever you can do, find out what you ask her, what she wants.
Like, what does she need from you?
I mean, have you guys ever really had that conversation and said, you know,
what exactly do you need?
Like, have you tried to solve this problem together?
And she might be there might be some things that she's not getting from you
or your way that you can provide her.
Obviously, you can't provide your penis to her right now, but there might be other
things that she needs to keep her sustained.
So you get back in town.
Find that thing that we heard about it on the internet.
I knew you can say that.
You can plug in the USB. The USB thing and have sex. I doubt that he has those capabilities and Baghdad, but exactly. I'm sure if he's listening in the show.
Right.
I would say it's time to, I mean, this is the thing that baffles me.
Is it so many couples never ever talk about their sex life?
I mean, email me about it, but I'm saying to you, go back and talk to about it.
What do you guys think together would be a great way
to keep the spark and the romance alive while you're gone?
Like, what does she need?
What do you need?
And just bang her all out when you're home.
Yeah.
Bang the crap.
No, we gotta look.
Can we get a link on that for the website
that you must be thinking?
Because a lot of people are-
The US people are sex thing.
Because people are, I mean, a lot of the emails
we get are about long distance relationships
and some of the people are trying to work through it.
And that's our deciding if they want to do that.
She had to totally try that thing.
That'd be totally cool.
I love to get a partner just to try it out.
Yeah.
I got you.
She would call us and check that I know more.
Do we found it online, right?
We found it before.
We'll post it, but it reminds me me it kind of looks like the tanga
masturbation sleeve that you're gonna have to use you know that's coming up our
Little bet about okay. Good. Yeah, the veterans ball. Uh-huh. The veterans ball or the soldiers ball or whatever it's
I'm so bad. I can't remember. It's something like the
Something milacoon is was invited by a soldier. It's not veterans though. It's not veterans. It's something like the something. Mealikunus was invited by a soldier. It's not veterans though.
It's not veterans.
It's soldiers ball or something.
Yeah.
And Mealikunus was invited by one.
The Marine.
Yeah, you're Marine ball.
Yeah.
Thank you.
So, and, um, and she, he invited her via YouTube video.
And she said that at first she said she couldn't do it.
And then she said she could do it.
And I don't think she's going to go in November.
I think she's going to something's going to come up
and she's going to have a movie set
and she's not going to be able to go with the soldier.
And I said, when that happens,
menace is gonna have to use a Tenga T-E-N-G-A masturbation sleeve,
which is this really cool thing.
I gotta bring it in and show you,
but it's really cool for men.
And I think it's, we'd be great for soldiers
in Iraq to carry around a masturbation sleeve too.
Menace is gonna have to use it.
And then if I lose, which I won't,
I have to eat a banana on there.
Just bring you up to speed on our little bat.
And you have to eat it whenever.
You said one banana, you can't change it to two bananas because you can't.
I'm going to find the largest banana I can.
You got to better start not looking because it's never going to happen.
I'm not going to lose this fight.
Oh, and where I'm looking on the website.
Where's the picture of it being the Tinky Winky outfit?
It's yesterday's show.
Go under episodes.
Okay.
Are we here yesterday? No, go under under episodes you know what I think we posted on
I don't hear yesterday I don't see it on the blog either oh it should be there it's
on Facebook we posted on Facebook on our flexibility page but I thought we
posted on the website too maybe not okay write that down we're gonna post it on
the website too because yesterday was a busy day. It took another one. Oh my God.
Yeah.
Tinky Winky is a teletubby.
It's a teletubby.
And I didn't know it was the gay teletubby
until after I bought the outfit.
Menace is a gay teletubby in his off time.
And an alcoholic.
So I've been posting a gay teletubby alcoholic.
I've been posting on Instagram.
I'm just a gay teletubby alcoholic.
Now Instagram's an app.
It's only strictly for the iPhone right now,
where it's basically Twitter, but with photographs
And there's a lot of stuff that I share on Instagram that I don't share on my Twitter and my Facebook and my blog
so I have a friend that works for
For Instagram and she saw me I've put on this tinky winky outfit
After I went to the Hollywood
It's just for fun because I went to the Halloween store and I thought it'd be funny. Never tell Moment with you.
So I put it on, I take the picture,
and then she's like, oh my God,
you gotta do like a whole series,
like a photos.
So, one of the first photos in the series
is Tinky Winky,
cooking breakfast.
That's the one that's on my Facebook page,
such that I'm like, I'm gonna go there.
And then I took one yesterday
where it's
Tinky Winky taking a shower.
Oh my God.
And it was huge.
If I can load it, we don't have
great service.
It's hilarious.
You look so cute and you're a little
Tinky Winky outfit.
Yeah, but I don't show my face.
I'm not sure.
Never.
And anything?
No, only the first one.
Not.
I think we should do one.
I think we should do one.
Oh my God.
That's hilarious.
Yeah. Oh my God. We do with your plastic shower curtain. That one, Steve. We'll get that. Oh my God, that's hilarious. Yeah.
Oh my God, we do through plastic shark curtain.
That is so funny.
Are you gonna be there in Halloween for sure?
Yeah.
Pink teletubby.
My work has a,
I have the gay one was a concert.
Oh, I have the gay one was purple,
but maybe I'm getting teletubby.
That is purple.
It looks pink.
You are colorblind.
That is so purple.
I might be, my dad was colorblind,
but I don't think I'm colorblind. Tinky Winky pictures are gonna be up on our website and there are
I'm just keep doing that. I love it. All right. It's just for Joe. I don't know why I'm doing it, but
It's fun and you have any good time. I'm not
I'm not furry
Pictures the chick who lives with you
People are taking the pictures. God
You're gonna call me on that every single day?
Because you never talk about it and it's just mysterious.
I'm coming over.
I'm coming over and getting to the bottom of it.
Go ahead.
You know, I've never been to your house.
You've never invited me over.
I know because I'm in a situation.
Jesus, get enough of the situation.
It's really bogging you down and me.
Yes.
Okay.
Next email.
Hi, Emily.
I love your show.
I'm a listener from New
Brunswick, Canada, and I've recently listened to one of your podcasts where
someone noted that women stop giving oral sex after marriage. I would like to
tell you that after 15 years of marriage, I've received and given more oral in
the last year than the first 10 years combined. Wow. In fact, I would give it even
more if we found the time. The reasons are quite clear.
She loves me.
I love her and we make time for each other.
Not all relationships are doomed to failure
and your listeners need to know that.
We have two children who are eight and 12
and yes, we have to plan our rendezvous
but that makes it even more fun.
I would love for you to read this letter
on your podcast so my wife can truly see
how much I appreciate her in my life, sign Paul.
I love that email. There's so many life, sign Paul. I love that email.
There's so many emails that I love, I love that email.
That email is a top email because it's like,
there is a thing, there is a rumor out there
or a stereotype or whatever,
that women stop performing oral sex unman
after they get married, after they get married.
They're like, okay, here's oral sex
and then the penis never in the mouth again,
after they get married. There is a rumor. Women stop. And he's saying,
that's not true. And we've heard from a lot of people that it is true. And I know a lot
of women who are married, not a lot, but a few friends who are like, I hate it. I don't
want to do it. I should just call my friend that's married and see if that happens.
Sure. Call your friend. Love calling your friends. Paul, thanks for the email. That's awesome.
I'm glad that you guys continue to perform oral sex even more
and more.
They've been together 15 years and the last five years
is even more oral sex.
Please, when you get married is the last thing you
should start having more sex.
Because really, it's going to wane anyway.
It happens in marriage.
It happens in relationships.
And you should keep on keep it on.
Yeah. My friends have been married about,
I think, five years now.
Yep.
So we'll ask him.
We're calling him?
Does he get an answer?
My friends a little bit more normal than yours.
We can have your friends.
What?
Do you know my friends?
Yeah, I know your friends, your friends,
text message about how they get dumpsters
of man-juicins, I them and stuff.
That's just one friend.
She's in classy tech star, sex star.
He's not answering.
He should be answering, but keep it going.
Okay.
So next email.
Yeah.
Hi, Emily.
Just found your show on iTunes last week and I can't stop listening to it. Everything that you say makes so much
sense. I'm about to graduate high school in Michigan and I feel that listening to your
show makes me more prepared for the real world. I know that I might not fit in the typical
demographic for the show, but knowing these great tips that you give out makes me so much
more confident. I've never kissed a boy before, but I know that I probably won't find
the one in this chapter of my life. If possible, could you do a part in one of your shows
for future college students?
Thank you so much.
I just love you and keep the good work.
XOXO, XO, Christianity, Christiana, PS.
Thanks for adding me as a friend on Facebook.
That's awesome.
She's a Michigan.
That's where I grew up in Michigan high school.
And she hasn't kissed anyone yet
and the show's happening around I love that.
We should do a show.
I've been thinking about that.
That when you're in different stages of your life, when you're in high school's happening or when I love that. We should do a show. I've been thinking about that that when you're in different stages of your life, when you're
in high school, you need some sex tips.
When you're in college, there's a different host of sex tips when you're in merit, when you're
dating, like there's, there's sex tips for everyone.
So I think college student sex tips, not a bad idea.
I'm gonna release an app.
I'm gonna release an app for that.
College sex.
College sex.
Not bad idea.
By sex with Emily.
Sex with Emily. Yeah, I love it.
Thanks, Cristiana. I love that you're in Michigan too.
That's right.
I know. You get a lot of love from Michigan.
I get a lot of love from Michigan.
You think there's a lot of people that
just follow you online from home.
I don't know, maybe.
I've got a lot of my high school friends around there
and following by. I'm not really friends
that I've been gone for so long.
Yeah.
But I appreciate that.
Okay. Hello. I'm wondering if you can provide
recommendations for the best sex classes and workshops in SF
My boyfriend are looking to spice up our love life and get better get better techniques in the bedroom
And I or despite looking to spice up our love life and get better techniques in the bedroom
And I was thinking that you could recommend someone or coach for us any help you can provide is greatly appreciated from Victoria
So in the Bay area sex classes., there is the Citadel, CITADL,
Bay of Classes. The good vibrations has classes. Just go to other websites. Good vibrations, you have to go to the
Instra Classes. Center for Sex and Culture has classes. And as far as sex coaches, Celeste and Danielle,
Celeste and Danielle.com, they're amazing, sex coaches in the Bay Area,
they can give you some sex advice and coaching if you need it.
So those are some places that have classes for you.
I walk by good vibrations all the time.
Yeah.
Which one?
I'll unfold straight.
I'll unfold.
But there's also, there's one on mission too that I'll have to buy.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm having a party there.
I can invite everyone.
It's open. On the mission? Yeah, October 6th at the Good New Good
Fibrations store.
I'm mission and fifth across from the
Blue Endales.
I am having a book launch party from 6 to 8 p.m.
Nice.
My new book had sex.
So everyone should come if you're in the
Bay Area around that time.
Door.
Yeah.
Okay.
Have you ever been into good vibrations?
I have.
I've lost by many times.
You never go in.
Of course you haven't.
I have.
I need to take you there.
Can I take you there?
We'll walk around.
They'll be there.
I'll support your book lunch.
You're going to come?
Yeah.
I love it.
You can come to my book lunch.
Okay.
Let's move into our sex tips.
How to make a sex tape with your partner.
Okay.
I want to hear what you have to say before I come in.
Okay. Making a poor with your partner is a great way to spice up your sex life.
You can make the video very elaborate and turn it to a personal porn movie or
simply film yourself having a good time. The key is to have fun with it.
And that's to be too drunk. I just added that.
Have fun with it. To make a porn you will need a video camera or cameras,
a tripod, drop or bed
comforter other props as needed do you agree what else do you need?
I agree but I mean you don't really need to invest in a tripod I'm sure you
can put it on something but actually a tripod could probably get
iPod's for like 15 bucks yeah and you can probably it can probably angle
better you might have to tilt the camera down a little bit. Right.
Okay.
Yeah, okay.
Investment should be okay.
That's fine.
Make sure that your partner is completely enthusiastic about the idea.
It won't be fun or sexy if he or she is not having a wonderful time.
Yeah.
Plan the plot.
Side whether you want to tell story in your porn or whether you just want to tape yourself
doing the D.
We should in a porn now.
Wow.
Because sex tape, we just kind of go for it. If you choose to create a story to say whether you want to write a script or add
the scenes. So are you just going to film yourself straight
for having sex or you can do some plot. Some people get kind of funky. They
want to just spend costumes. They want to do a whole story.
Dude, if I can find something down for a plot, I would totally.
You would not. I would totally do. I'm an ex-film student. That's how I got into
radio because I did a documentary on radio DJs. Like my whole background is film.
Do any of your sex tapes that you've made with your previous girlfriends have plots?
No. Wow.
But I never even thought of making a part.
It's just straight forward boning.
Yeah. You get to the most important part.
I love the evil of these sex tapes.
Yeah, but I would be totally down to shoot a one with a plot.
Like, what would the plot be like I just think
of I don't know I mean I have friends who do this like you just met and it's like your
first time especially if you're a couple who's been together for a while and you can be
like kind of nervous and shy and make it like a plot or you could dress up in costumes
and you can be like the policeman and the whatever whatever whatever, like that, I think it'd be funny.
The policeman.
The policeman and they're getting a ticket.
Oh no officer, please send me ticket.
Can I shoot one?
You don't have to have sex in it.
I'll the shoot one where we just make it like a trailer,
like a plot.
That'd be so funny.
I can totally shoot that.
Who would be in it?
Minutes, you shoot it?
No, I mean, I'll shoot it and then you can.
Who would I be in it?
You'd be like, no, you don't have to do it with anybody.
It can just be like, you so low, a little bit.
It's a trailer.
You don't have to show anything.
Okay.
And then you can be like a sexy cop or something answering the door.
Totally.
I got sexy costumes that I need to wear way more often than I do.
Let's do it.
I can totally shoot it.
Can we add it to our list of things to do?
Yes. That is on the list of things to do? Yes.
That is on the list of you setting up my DVR, but whatever.
OK, choose the props and costumes.
Even if you're not telling a story,
you're wanting to decide what you and your partner will wear
and whether you will use sex toys.
Sex toys are awesome.
I think they'd be awesome for a sex tape.
And if you want to buy sex toys, I just
got to give a shout out to Adamaneeve.com because Adamaneeve is where you should buy all your sex toys. They've you want to buy sex toys, I just got to give a shout out to Adam and Eve.
Com because Adam and Eve is where you should buy all your sex toys.
They've props.
They've toys.
They've games.
They've lingerie.
And all you got to do is use coupon code Emily at checkout.
You get 50% off most items plus three free gifts and adult DVD and free shipping.
What is the problem there?
None.
It's perfect.
Yeah.
And do you know what?
Lighting is key too. Lighting is totally key.
Lighting is, you got to make sure because you don't want everything to turn out all orange.
So what's your recommendations for lighting? That's one of my points down there.
But what do you, what do you recommend?
You know, just try to bring, yeah, try to bring as much lighting as in as you can into
the room. And then also turn off the TVs. Any other sound just
just. Yeah, and the computers. Yeah, just any distracting sounds.
Because let's say you want to edit it later, you're not going to be able to cut
that audio together. You're going to have to take out all the audio and then put
a, put music over it. But you want the natural sound. Yeah, the best part is the
sound the morning. Yeah, right. Okay, that's good. That's good advice. Pick a
location. Choose where you'll be filming it.
Make sure the background color complement your skin tones
and they're already distracting patterns.
That's true.
You got like posters and stuff all over the wall.
That could be very distracting, right?
Yeah.
You're just gonna hold onto it.
The posters could go out of date.
You have Kurt Cameron from Team B on there.
Exactly.
You want to look at it and then you're like, oh.
Did you have posters on your wall going off?
Just curious.
No posters.
OK.
So pick a location.
So that's a good idea.
So think about it.
Think about the background.
Prepare the cameras.
Within a while, a night center dresser
can hold a video camera.
You'll get more porn-like angles if you use a tripod.
Do some test shots to make sure you've
angled the camera the best.
It's possible.
If you've accessed more than one camera, you can use use both and then have added a great video on your camera.
That's pretty. Have you done two Shatouk camera?
I haven't.
I'm surprised you haven't. You missed your film student, sex tape maker.
No, if you can do, if I had like at least three or four cameras, I could do a 360 view.
That would be amazing.
Yeah, or they could go pro.
Go pro, yeah. Go pro would be good for porn, right? Amazing. Put it on your
lever on your head. Go pro camera. Yeah. There's these other attachments for your
iPhone that you can put on there and it can do a 360 view of video. So you can
you can actually click on the video file and then move the video
file as the video is playing and move it 360. Wow. Yeah, it's crazy. That would be
good. That would be good. See now you're thinking about how to improve your sex tapes.
So yeah, so just like Google 360 video attachment for iPhone and you can see what I'm talking
about. That is so cool. I can't wait to get my iPhone next month.
Okay, check the light. Make sure you've got enough light to see everything you want to
see in your porn. Do some more in your porn and your sex tape. Do some more test shots to
check. You can always bring lamps in from other rooms to help. I always will never have
a shooting video, not my sex videos, but you have to always bring in more light than you
think, right?
Garouming. We realize that maybe you're not always tidy.
We're not always tidy, but the camera's going to see things that you couldn't
possibly with any amount of neck craning.
So problem areas to consider, this is for dudes, are your back, but in perennium.
If you have hair, you don't, if you have hair, you don't have to shave those areas,
but do consider undertaking some serious man-scaping to make things
viewer friendly.
I'm sure the women are already escaping, but man-scaping is good for men. Yeah, you gotta trim it up a little bit.
Trim it up.
Oh, you always gotta trim it up.
That's kinda like the trend in what we're doing.
And it makes your dick look bigger.
That's what they say.
You trim your pubic hair.
I feel like men are doing that more now, but not all of these, but a lot.
And it does make your penis look bigger.
It's like, where will South they're still?
Wow.
I'm here to tell you that there are.
That's gross.
It doesn't bother me.
I'm actually like, I've done shows on man's escaping.
I talk about man's escaping.
I think if you've got a big bush down there
and she's going down in here, whatever, it's good to have
a shave, it's good to have a clip, but it's not a deal breaker
for me personally, but that's just me.
Wow, that's so 80s of you.
Ah, whatever. I don't care. I'm open. I'm a free spirit.
Okay, pop a cork, a glass of wine or tequila, shot before disrobing can help you relax, but don't over and dulled.
Don't over and dulled, men.
What?
Too much booze can lead to either passing out of drunk or engaging in embarrassing behaviors that you definitely don't want recorded.
Snooki just said the other day on episode is that the whiskey wiener is the best because
they can go for, because guys can go forever.
Yeah, and then they don't remember it or have an orgasm.
I mean, they can eventually have one. Not always. I love
you. You were like drunk. F-duped sex is amazing. It's like you don't remember it. How do you know?
Yeah, you do. Totally remember it. Okay, so zip it. Moans are fine. Lots of chatter about how
your work day went or attempting to mimic what porn stars sound like is unnecessary. Unsexy and
is likely to make you cringe when you hear it later. Let's talk more action.
So not like a lot of chatty chatty talk,
just moaning and sex, right?
I totally agree with that story.
I won't be like, how do we should talk?
Oh no.
But this is not the time to have a conversation.
Okay, this is the most important part right here.
Hide the evidence.
Here comes important part,
protecting your tape from prying eyes,
the safest approach is to watch the tape once and then delete it. But if you're going to keep an
original, it's in your best interest to maintain possession of the tape.
One time, I don't shoot anything on tape anymore, digital video. But the first one I did
because it's before everything went straight to chips and stuff like that and
It was a small mini DV tape and at the time I was logging a bunch of DV tapes for my friend
giant Box them like a hundred something and I
Mailed that box to New York and I thought I mailed the tape inside
You didn't but you thought you did but I didn't
Oh my god see that's the kind of stuff that can have people do here.
Yeah, but I'm, but I'm much smarter about it now. That was my first one ever. I didn't know what I was doing. Yeah, I'm good. I got a
seek. Will you show me when you're sexy? I got to keep a game. Tell me what I'm going to show me when I show you one. You really want to
want to. I really want to. I won't tell anyone. All right. let me call and get permission for us.
Oh, see, the good time I got.
I'm sure she'll be totally cool.
That woman who called me while she was giving you blowjob?
Yeah, no, no.
Oh, a different woman, okay.
Okay, store it under lock and key and a safe
with a note that says private, please destroy it.
In case you can hit by a car
and your grieving parents come to clear out your stuff.
In other words, guard it with your life.
Do not make a copy or let anyone have the digital file.
Yeah, don't.
The break up.
If you and your partner split up, the right thing to do
is to lead the tape and any copies, which we told you not
to make anyway.
Well, the guys will never do that.
They'll never delete it.
So you got to make sure you're not with some crazy cycle.
So don't be with a crazy cycle man,
and make a sex tape, OK?
Burn it, stab it, run over with your car,
whatever it takes.
Don't just throw it in the trash
and think, that's that.
Make sure to discuss the head of time
how you'll be using the video.
If one of you wants to share it on the internet,
one of you wants to keep it private,
you should have an agreement before filming.
And finally, just press record and have a great time.
Make sure to discuss the head of time
how you'll be using it.
If only one of you wants to share it, whatever filming,
that's what I gotta say about that.
That's how to make a sex tape in the most reliable, responsible way.
That's what I'm gonna make yours.
I don't know, I have to find the right person.
I'm asking the girl if I can show you the right person.
You are?
Yeah.
Oh my God, I'm so excited.
When can we do it tonight?
I don't know.
I gotta wait.
I wanna watch it.
I've never made one.
Maybe it'll inspire me.
Maybe by seeing your art, your cinematic art,
I will want to make a sex tape myself.
OK.
OK, but probably not.
OK, everyone, I think that wraps it up.
Tomorrow is Wednesday's show.
We'll be playing a best of, and you won't want to miss that.
And then Thursday, my mom is here,
and you all get to see her and talk to her,
and she'll be sharing all of her favorite sex and relationship
tips, because she's really smart. Yeah. And that's what I got for you. Thanks, everyone her and talk to her and she'll be sharing all of her favorite sex and relationship tips because she's really smart.
Yeah.
And that's what I got for you.
Thanks everyone for listening to Sex Family.
Do you have anything else to say?
Check out the photos of me dressed up as Tinky Winky on sex with Emily.com.
Yes.
Okay, he's hilarious.
Okay, thanks everyone for listening to Sex Family.
It was a good for you.
Email me.
Feedback at sex with Emily.com.
me feedback at sexfamily.com.