Sex With Emily - Episode 302 - How to Make a Sex Tape

Episode Date: September 27, 2011

If Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson can do it two times, why can’t you? Today Emily walks you through how to make your very own sex tape, and most importantly, what to do with it when you’re done ...(hint: not leaving it on your zip drive at the office). Emily shares her favorite sex story about Menace, talks about dating bad boys, and the possibility of "ecstasy" killing cancer. Menace thinks he’d make a good part-time Teletubby, and we talk about oral sex in marriage and how to make long-distance relationships last. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Emily. You got a boyfriend? Because, uh, my man, he here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. It's a lie. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Emily? What do you mean, like, laundry? It's drinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:00:14 I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.
Starting point is 00:00:22 I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithamely.com or many of you are there right now watching the show. You can watch and listen live Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday from Wednesday to Pacific Standard Time. If you're a friend's benefits member,
Starting point is 00:00:54 which we so appreciate all our friends benefits, thank you so much. Glad to be here today. And if you're not a member, just go to sexwithamely.com. Yeah, and become a member because it's awesome. It's the best thing you can do. Let me get the full show. So if you're listening to a clip right now,
Starting point is 00:01:06 right on Stitcher, just go ahead and go to sexelmy.com, get a password, and then you can listen to the full show. Exactly. And you won't want to miss it because we're doing amazing shows and we're giving you all the sex information you need. It's like 15 cents a day for better sex, which I think is totally worth thinking, speaking better sex. I've got a book kind of coming out called Hot Sex over 200 things you can try two nights. Um, and it's actually really good. I showed it yesterday during the show. I'm, I know it's my own book and you're like, yeah, of course you're going to say your own book is really good. But really it is just those little twist, little things you could do if you're like my sex life's become stagnant. We're doing the same thing over and over again. There are some amazing tips in there. And we give you
Starting point is 00:01:43 tips here on the show every day too. And as a guy, the illustrations are just crazy. They're hot. They're really hot, the illustrations. So it's coming out October 11th, you can pre-order an Amazon. It's called Hot Sex and just start for my name. Well, the new way to say crazy on the street is cray. It's cray.
Starting point is 00:02:00 Cray? Yeah. I don't know this. Yes, now I just need to learn something. I'm glad you teach me everything. Yeah, that is so good. So cray right now. Yeah, so cray. It's cray.
Starting point is 00:02:08 It's cray. My life is free and cray. But in a really, really good way. I'm so excited. My mom's coming to town on Thursday from Michigan, and she's going to be our guest on Thursday. Sweet. Yeah, as you recall, this actually fits well into our topic today. My mother was on the show about four years ago.
Starting point is 00:02:24 And I were doing a live show. And we were talking and there was a caller that came in and said something about making a sex tape. And I was like, I would not make a sex tape. Can you believe it, mom? Would you make a sex tape? And she said, well, maybe I have made a sex tape. So apparently my mom made a sex tape with my stepdad years ago. So who knows what she's going to reveal on Thursday? Cool. Is it on you porn? No, she deleted it because she was afraid we'd find it. Thank God. Do you want to find your mother sex tape? No, no. Hell no. So we got to think we're going to talk to her. But if it's somebody else's mother sex tape,
Starting point is 00:02:52 I mean, no, you wouldn't want to. No way. I don't know. My mom's very open. Obviously, look where I am and she's really cool and she's got great advice and great things to say. So that would be super fun. Today's show is about how to make a sex tape. The right smart way to do it. If you're going to do it because people are doing it, I'm not a huge fan. I'm saying like you can make a sex tape as long as you're really, really don't trust that your boyfriend forever. You're going to be together and he's never going to show anyone. Make sure you have your hands on that tape and you delete it. You have a copy of it. You have an agreement. It's locked up in a safe. But if you do all those things and you trust this person and you're going to make a sex tape anyway, we're going gonna tell you the right way to do it. I'd love to hear the tips that you have
Starting point is 00:03:28 I know I haven't seen any of them. I know you haven't and you've made a bunch of sex tapes so you can probably have I can tell you if they're right or not exactly because men says zone library which he's never shared I'm not I'm not one to share it's for me. I'm not that guy. He's not that guy. Yeah, exactly which I love I'm the best person to make a sex tape with Really? Yeah, because I don't want it out there either That should be on your website. Yeah, that should be your tagline. I'm the best person you could ever make a sex tape with Yes Yeah, something like that. I should change my my profiles. Yeah, you should what is your website if you want to find you white menace calm
Starting point is 00:04:03 Right, that's so easy. I love it. There's so many good things there. I know he's the best. You got to check it out. And also if you want to call in and you have any questions or comments today, it's for one five nine nine two, seven three nine two. You can also leave us a voicemail anytime with
Starting point is 00:04:17 your comments, questions, ideas, anything you want to say, you can have a voice on our voicemail. And we will play it during the show. And don't forget, free Fridays, the show is free. Every Friday, everyone, we've got an hour-long show, anyone in the world can listen to it. And that's what I got for you.
Starting point is 00:04:33 We've got a poll. We have the results to our latest poll. I'd like to tell you about them. Our question was, have you ever had a friends with benefits relationship? Have I ever? Maybe the result would come in. You have, right? Yes. Here are the questions ever? Have the result. Correct. You have, right?
Starting point is 00:04:45 Yes. Here's where the questions. Here were the answers. I mean, the options for your answers. 8% said no. Personally, I wouldn't have one. 17% said yes and it failed. 29% said yes and we're still friends.
Starting point is 00:05:00 And a whopping 46% said no but I'm open to the idea. So apparently, funds benefits relationships have not gotten enough bad rap because 46% of people want to try it. Of course. Of course they do. Why not? I've tried it. I've had, I've actually had more of those in the last few years and I've had regular relationships. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:21 And they've all worked out swimmingly. Yeah, the firm, I had a couple. Yeah. Yeah, I'm so honest about where I'm at. And this is only this and we're because if you have a friend's benefits relationship, we went through a trend where we had a bunch of emails about friends benefits like last year, like for some reason, it was like friends benefits a month. That everyone was emailing me about it.
Starting point is 00:05:38 And I think the thing is the key thing is you have to make sure you're both in the same page. Like you have to be really honest about where you're at. I'm dating other people. This is never going to go anywhere. I mean, whatever those things are, this is the place to make sure you're both in the same page. Like you have to be really honest about where you're at, I'm dating other people, this is never going to go anywhere. I mean whatever those things are, this is the place to be honest because a lot of times what happens is one person gets hurt, one person wants more than the other. Yeah and I have to tell you this, if it goes so what is this, once they start saying that where they kind of want more than what you're doing right you have to cut it off You can't keep on having sex
Starting point is 00:06:07 Exactly Because it's gonna go all bad because eventually right someone's gonna want more or it happens usually someone wants more They want to define it. Mm-hmm. Or there's always the case of someone's thinking yeah, I'll do this casual sex thing But eventually he's gonna pick me or she's gonna Yeah, I definitely had that happen where it's their idea. It's their idea and then suddenly they want more. They swallow a piece of the most action. You were the one that set up the situation.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Exactly. That was their tactic to get a little menace. Yeah, and then they're like, oh, I can convince him. Exactly. No, you ain't convinced me. I think women, I know I think men do this too. I'm not going to say either, but I think a lot of people get into relationships thinking they're going to change the other person and the other person. I learned that from my mother.
Starting point is 00:06:55 Nobody changes unless they want to change, but you're not going to change the person you dating. So if you're in a relationship right now and you're with someone, you're like, but if only he did this, this and that, or maybe one day she'll do this, not gonna happen. Well, that's kind of the plot right now with two and a half men. Oh, you're a new favorite show. When you favorite show, I'm watching now
Starting point is 00:07:12 because I like the coach. The coach. The coach. The coach. I'm like, huh? The coacher. I asked him a good job. That's amazing that he's doing.
Starting point is 00:07:20 He's doing a good job. I don't think the plot line is as ridiculous it was before. I used to think it was, and I shouldn't be saying this because it was a word for the company, the worst show on television, but I didn't understand why it was hugely popular. It doesn't matter what I have to say about it. No, not at all, never.
Starting point is 00:07:35 It was like number one, but now I'm really enjoying it with him. And so the plot line is kind of like, I'll tell you what's happening. Because if you're not watching it, then you should already, you should already know. Okay. Okay. So I'm not really going to get away with it. So tell me. Anyways, the plot line is Charlie Sheen, he dies. And they have to sell Charlie Sheen's house. And the brother has been living with him for years, like for free. So they're going through the whole ceremony and the brother's sitting in the house and he's contemplating what has happened and then suddenly you see Ashton
Starting point is 00:08:14 Kutcher at the window and he's soaking wet, right? He opens doors and he's like, what's wrong with you? And he goes, oh, I just try to kill myself, right? He's trying to jump in the ocean because the house is on beach front properly, right? He goes, why are you trying to kill yourself? And he goes, because my wife has left me, right? Okay. And he goes, all things aren't that bad.
Starting point is 00:08:43 My wife left me too. And he goes, you things aren't that bad. My wife left me two and he goes, you could, you know, or you like dead broke, he's like, no, I'm actually worth two billion dollars. Oh my god. Because he sold something, something to Microsoft, right? So that's the plot. So that's where you left off with the first part. Okay. And they go and they, they go out and they front, they have drinks and they become friends and all the
Starting point is 00:09:06 stuff. So the next episode is you find out why the wife broke up with him. Okay. Because he's like totally hung up on the wife. Like he's he's speeding over the house, he's breaking into the house and trying to talk to her. And she explains to the to the brother that's been hanging out with this guy, Ashen Kutcher, why they broke up. And he goes, because he never grew up. Oh, Peter Pan syndrome.
Starting point is 00:09:30 Yeah, Peter Pan, he's like a young billionaire, you know, and he just acts like a kid. And she's like, I'm tired of being a mom and taking care of him. And he goes, I take care of myself. And he goes, she goes, who does your laundry? Who does this? Who does that? Right. Love it.
Starting point is 00:09:44 Does everything for him. So that? Right, love it. Does everything for him. So that's why they broke up. And then so they had a leave and then they go back to Charlie Sheen's old house, which the billionaire just bought. He goes, I like this house, I'm just going to buy it. And now he said, since they become friends with the, he became friends with the brother, now the brother's saying.
Starting point is 00:10:04 So they're still living there. So it's kind of like Charlie Sheen, like the two of you. Yeah. The half is that there's a little kid. Well, okay, I literally have never seen him. He hasn't really been too much part of the episodes, but it's just building the friendship between them. But at the end of the episode, the wife shows up
Starting point is 00:10:21 and says that he wants to talk. She wants to talk to him. So then you don't know. now I want to watch the third episode This is so good good television. So I wonder if he won't move out though Yeah, because that would ruin the show. Yeah, so The wife is she cute. Yeah, she's really cute. I don't Remember what her name is she's not a huge actress, but she's had some roles That's kind of a clever twist they did.
Starting point is 00:10:46 Yeah, I think it was really, I was totally thinking, oh, this is going to suck and all that, but it was actually a really smooth transition. Oh, cool. So you can watch two and a half men on CBS.com. You can watch that. You can. Okay. But now that I have a television, I can watch it on my television too. You can set up your DVR.
Starting point is 00:11:06 My DVR, which I will do, and I'm doing. That sounds good. You watched it last night. I went to a giant's game last night with my interns. Shut up. And I'm so sad you weren't there. Like, we all look each other like, where's medicine? I have to apologize.
Starting point is 00:11:18 Like, we ordered tickets. It was like a month ago. And. You didn't even tell me yesterday. I forgot. Oh, you didn't tell me on purpose. No, I didn't. It wasn't until we got there. We're like, I mean, because I always assume you're so busy, you go to bed early, you went of gone, and you don't
Starting point is 00:11:31 like sports. It's cool. Next game you're coming to. Next season. You kind of told me about it a long time ago. Right. What you've gone. I'm sad. I would have gone because remember my one of my ex-girl with a giant so it could have got names up on the jumbo tron. Minus next time. Well, we had a blast and we had so much fun and without the internet. Sorry, but they're like, okay, sporting first
Starting point is 00:11:54 while it was the most beautiful night in San Francisco, which is never warm in San Francisco. We have the most amazing ballpark that's right on the water. And it's on the right of the bay and it's beautiful. It's warm and nice and there's a lot
Starting point is 00:12:04 of good looking dudes at the Giants game. I'm like, if you're a chick and you're not even into sports because I really wasn't watching, I was like, should we get more beers, should we get more popcorn, whatever like I wasn't watching? Good looking, a lot of dudes. It's a dude fast. I mean, obviously, to most people.
Starting point is 00:12:16 The guys like baseball. No, no, no, that's really obvious, but I never go to baseball games. I've been to like, I've lived here for a while. I've probably been to three Giants games. I know so much fun. We had a freaking blast. Hot chicks. Yeah, they're into it. Go to baseball games. Go to sporting events Yeah, I really can't go to that and let's I'm getting wasted because baseball super boring
Starting point is 00:12:36 But um there's a ten bucks. Yeah, but I noticed the hot girls. They're really into baseball and they're really into I was about to say soccer, but hockey. Yeah. How we have they love hockey players. They love watching the hockey players fight. Exactly. Exactly. I think it's hot. So that was really fun. It was a fun, beautiful, like I'm so glad I live in San Francisco. Even if it's cool, I'm going to be really sad. We were really sad. Lauren, we were sad. Yeah. We were like making chicken and rice. Oh, I'm sorry. Actually, I made a soap top stuff.
Starting point is 00:13:06 You made soap top stuffing? Yeah. Good for you. How's the cooking show coming? Good. Good. I am almost on my logo done for the last time. You got to check that out.
Starting point is 00:13:15 You got to teach me how to cook. Yeah. So here's our new poll that people have to answer at sexcellly.com. All right. Do you talk about your sex exploits with your friends? I'm a man, and I keep it to myself. I'm a man, and my buddies, and I enjoy talking about it. I'm a woman, and I don't kiss and tell.
Starting point is 00:13:34 I'm a woman, and that's all we talk about. Those are your options. I know what you're going to say. You never talk about it. You're a dude, and you don't talk about it. But I think a lot of guys do. So I want to hear from people. We want to get your answers. Go to our website and you don't talk about it. But I think a lot of guys do. So I want to hear from people, we want to get your answers, go to our website and check out the poll.
Starting point is 00:13:49 No way. Yeah. Guys don't do that. Tons of guys do. Yeah, they do. I've actually asked guys lately because I said, do you show sexy pictures if they someone sends them to you? They're like, for sure. Like my guy friends always show me because we're talking about who's text sexy photos. And you were saying that guys don't sure that stuff. Guys don't talk about sex. What do I think they do? No they don't. I mean at least the people and I have a very eclectic group of friends all type of friends. But you're the common denominator maybe they think you don't want to talk about it which is ironic because you're on the sex show.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Yeah but I don't know I don't want to see, I don't wanna see my buddy's chick naked. I don't care. Right, right, you know. You get to my buddy's chick, I'm never gonna sleep with her, who cares. Right, I get it. A lot of guys don't feel that way. This bra was before hose, you feel me?
Starting point is 00:14:36 I feel you man, I feel you, that was for hose. That's my, man, talking. That's my, man, talking. I remember sitting with my friend's brother, a few years ago and he was just dating this girl, and he's now married to, so that shows that it wasn't just some flusy. He's now married to her, she's amazing,
Starting point is 00:14:50 but he was like, when they first started dating, he was like, check this out, and it was like her naked and some cheerleading skirt. We were at dinner, he goes, look at this photo, and he had no problem showing me this picture of this woman just to be his wife. Yeah, but you know this is one of the sex person. No, it's because we're friends,
Starting point is 00:15:03 it wasn't because I'm sex person. Yeah. He was just like psyched He was showing it to everyone at our table. There's like ton of us at dinner He's like look and maybe you think that's disrespectful, but I think there's a lot of guys who's first impulse is like Oh my god, that's so hot and they show everyone. I want to know what people think me sex with Emily locked down That's good. It's good to know We mentioned feel very safe sending you their sex That's good. It's good. Password's on. We mentioned feel very safe. I'm a phone.
Starting point is 00:15:24 I'm a phone. I have. I actually just took. Took off. Last night. That's where well you guys were having fun at the baseball game. What I was doing I took off 6800 photos from my phone shut up. Yeah, where'd you put them all this back them up on a hard drive. Wow. Which another hard drive that you can't get into because it's past. Did you sort through all them? 6800 or you just downloaded them all? I just I just took them off. Wow. I was right out of my phone. Which because why? I was running out of room.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Right. Totally. That happens. Yeah. Okay. Anything good? No, so any sexy photos? There was there was some sexy photos in there. Like, can I see them? They're gone now Man you would show them to me though Maybe yeah, if we were together, you would show them to me. Yeah, I think well
Starting point is 00:16:13 I send you I send you a picture of chicken me blowjob one time, but oh my god But that was only that was only cool because the chick the chick was on the phone with you and she said it was cool. That's not what happened. I don't know. I was held dry. I don't remember. Exactly. I'll tell you everyone what happened. This is actually my favorite men's story. I'd say it's my top five favorite men's stories. Really? It's like Saturday night and I'm like a loser doing nothing or something at this point at night and my phone rings and I'm like driving back from the convenience store
Starting point is 00:16:43 buying like half and half for coffee or something. It's Saturday night, Menace calls me and he's like, hey, guess what I'm doing. And I'm like, what? He's like, I'm having sex right now. I'm like, really? And then this chick gets on the phone. He's like, do you want to talk to her?
Starting point is 00:16:57 I'm like, yeah, sure. And she gets to when she's like, hi. And then I talk to this girl. And then you guys went back to having sex. Yeah. And then I'm like, I'm listening you guys went back to having sex. Yeah. And then I'm like, I'm listening to matters having sex. Yeah, but then I don't know. But yeah, I thought the photo thing's cool because-
Starting point is 00:17:12 And then you sent me a picture of her having given you a blowjob. Yeah. And- Where is that photo? I don't know. Dang, I'm gonna sell it. But the thing is, the only reason I shared it from you because she was cool with it. If she wasn't cool with it, then I would never show it to you.
Starting point is 00:17:28 Right. Yeah. I'm sure when you guys were both in your drunken stupor, she consented. She did. Yeah, that's awesome. She considered to talk to you on the phone. Most of it, I know. That was awesome.
Starting point is 00:17:37 Whatever happened in that check, who you probably didn't even know it was. I thought you don't know how to do it. I do. That was funny. That was a top five-man story. She's a classy lady. I love that he was having sex and you thought of me. That's the part where I was the most touched.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Oh, because you love when you get the attention. No, and that you really care about me. And you want you to prove to me that you actually have sex, which I was proven. You're blown away, right? You're blown away, actually. Okay, I've got some sex in the news okay surprise kafandi now not in a relationship with jesse james the broke up again after the tattooed you broke up in july only to get back
Starting point is 00:18:14 together again august we knew when belong to adhere things they weren't working out with that days come rumors about the relationship about sander bullets acts which is why we care i guess and he says i am not a kafandi says I am not in a relationship right now. It sounds like this second split was a result of James not treating his currently purple haired lady the way she deserves.
Starting point is 00:18:34 It was clear to me that we were just on two different paths in life, undie explains people. My friend put it best. When he said I can never be more deserving of total noble love. And as a woman, I think it's important to know your value and never lose sight of that. I wish Jesse nothing of the best.
Starting point is 00:18:47 So he's treating her like dirt is what she's saying. Yeah. She's like, I deserve to be treated like a woman and he's treated me like a bitch. It seems like cat's relationships. I met her a couple of times. She's super sweet. Like couldn't be nicer.
Starting point is 00:19:01 But it just, I don't think she picks the right guys for her. No, probably not. Jesse James, not the right guy. And she's actually, people don't be nicer, but it just I don't think she picks the right guys Well, probably not Jesse James not the right guy and she's actually people don't know this But she's actually pretty young. So I think that's probably why and she just just dating Just dating around just dating the wrong guys for her and stuff like that and then right just getting getting In trouble. What you thinking like Jesse James is like the right just like the right guy. Like after what happened with Sandra Bullock and all that stuff, all the cheating. Yeah, I think she just... Why would you trust someone after that?
Starting point is 00:19:29 I think she just kind of likes the bad boy mentality. Right, because of the bad boy, you can't keep him away from them. Yeah. Yeah, no matter what. No matter what. No matter what. And guys, if you try to butt in and try to save these ladies
Starting point is 00:19:43 from bad boys, it's never gonna work out. Do not waste your time. They're not going to change. Just like we said, going back to what I said at the beginning of the show, people don't change that much. And unless they want to change and they do work on themselves, they therapy, they do analysis of where they're at in their life, they're going to keep dating the same people over and over again. Yeah. And then if that girl, like, runs through, like, 25 bad guys, right. And then she's open to dating me. I'm not gonna date her. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:20:07 It's your an idiot. Do you think it's important? Like I think that'd be an interesting thing. Like to go back and look at who someone else dated. Like would you ever not date a girl? Then obviously you're saying that. Like if you heard she dated some dude that you hate, would you not date a girl, even if you were a reliant or?
Starting point is 00:20:21 Yep, I would not. You went later. Nope. Okay, I think it's interesting. People's dating patterns. Yeah, And I don't say that a mature of me, but that's just this how I feel. Right. Got it. But I like when I'm dating a guy and he's like, Oh, I've dated, you know, I know the chick's he's dated and they're all super cool. And that's good. It's a good endorsement. Okay. The L word actors kicked off flight for kissing her girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:20:43 I heard they say, Haley star of show times, Leslie, Lesbian field drama, the L-word actors kicked off flight for kissing her girlfriend. I heard this. Lisa Haley, star of Showtime's Lesbian Field Drama of the L-World, was kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight for doing what she does on TV kissing her girlfriend. According to Haley's tweet, Fluttersen said that it was a family airline and kissing was not okay, because families really hate kissing, also hand-holding and other lovey-dovey signs of affection. Southwest responded with this lame statement. And this report's indicate that we receive several passenger complaints
Starting point is 00:21:09 characterizing the behavior as excessive. Our crew responsible for the comfort of all customers on board, approach the passengers based solely on the behavior and not on gender. Dude, what is, how was Southwest? They say they're gay friendly, and had nothing to do with them being two women. Oh, I mean, I'm sure most of the flight tenants are gay
Starting point is 00:21:25 But why can't you make out an airplane? I've made out an airplane. Yeah, I don't know people get ultra sensitive when kids are around Yeah, I mean I wasn't like fully on getting it on but I'm sure I've made out an airplane. Yeah, it's I don't know What's going on with Southwest lately? They kicked off Billy Joe from Green Day just recently off of flight because his pants were sagging a little bit low Really? Yeah, so what that would be you right? Yeah, be me. I'd be like fuck you I'm all about Virgin America anyways bitches I know but Southwest has the best on time record. I don't give a crap It's the gray hound of the skies. It is a toilet. It is toilet
Starting point is 00:22:04 But they're always on time. They're never delayed. San Francisco flights are always delayed. Southwest are not. Well, that's great. But I guess I don't want to go there and make out with any. I have actually a guy. I actually got denied on a Southwest flight, but I was just, I was intoxicated in San Diego. You got denied. They win. Let me let me on. I have six hours menace a whole menace menace menace I know I sound like alcoholic on the show but it's just it's a weekend I'm not really an alcoholic I just play one on the show it's just when I party I just party hard I know it's just a week you're just a weekend alcoholic weekend weekend warrior yep yep I
Starting point is 00:22:40 go hard on the weekends I know you do but yeah I don yeah, I don't know what's going on with that room. I don't either. But do you think you can give a hand job in airplane? People have sex in airplanes all the time. I think you can kick off for that. Oh, yeah, of course. Okay. But this reminds me of a story I heard today.
Starting point is 00:22:54 Did you hear about the Victoria Secret thing? No, tell me. Okay. Because children are involved. There was a, it's a Bay Area mall. I can't remember which one where they have a playground Okay at the mall and Across from the playground they just opened a Victoria secret
Starting point is 00:23:14 So you know how they have a Victoria secret ads of women and laundry and laundry Of course the parents started complaining right and then they made a Facebook page and said it's ridiculous and blah blah blah. And so the mall said, okay, we'll do something about it. So they put up these like bamboo trees, they kind of block the area. They say it's not enough. And then they started interviewing these parents and there's a bunch of fat miserable bitches That are just jealous of those hot chicks. Do you think that's what it is? I should have had the chocolate chip muffin for breakfast. Get off the swings Peter. Every one that they interview of course
Starting point is 00:23:56 There's no Guys that are complaining right but every one that they interviewed was this fucking fat front-e But everyone that they interviewed was this fucking fat, frumpy chick that is just miserable about her life. And that's why she's complaining. Yeah, but if there's kids in there on the swing set and they're staring at women's breasts, I don't know. I could see that. I don't really, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:24:18 OK, I got it though. But it's like kids get used for everything. You know that I get people all the time trying to win tickets for me for a contest and they try to throw their kids in all time. Oh man, come on. I have kids like you having kids. That's your choice. That's your choice to have kids. Right. Doesn't mean that I'm gonna give you. I don't I don't care. I don't have I don't have kids. I don't think that's a currency. I guess. Yeah. And it's to try to use your kids for everything and I can't stand it. now. People think that's a currency, I guess. Yeah. They try to use their kids for everything,
Starting point is 00:24:45 and I can't stand it. Yeah, okay, good to know. I will never use a favor of kids. This is an excuse. Okay, Nancy Grace, that was not my nipple on Dancing with the Stars. The nip slip. Nancy Grace's adamant, her nip did not slip
Starting point is 00:25:00 on Dancing with the Stars last night, and insists the object that poked out of her dress last night was merely a pasty. Gracie tells TMZ, when I got dressed, I was wearing pedals, nipple covers, and an industrial strength bra. My dancing dress also had a bra sewn into it. She adds, I've been judged guilty without a trial.
Starting point is 00:25:15 I will go to my grave denying the nip slip. As your previously reported Nancy has been hiding various good luck terms in her bra and last night, she says she was packing a photo of her twins in her twins. I have you do you know these pedals that go around your breath? They're like stickies. May I go for an after she got a breast enhancement. She stopped wearing a bronze wearing pasties.
Starting point is 00:25:39 Yeah, but they hurt when you rip them off. Yeah, that she stopped doing that after a while. Right, right. Because if you have your boobs on, you don't need to brow, which is a good way to do it. But yeah, I could see though that those pasty things do look like nipples, if that's really what she's talking about. Yeah. Yeah, I have some of those, but they leave this awful red mark on your boobs,
Starting point is 00:25:54 not attractive, not a fan. So that was last night. That's night, dance with the stars. I don't watch that show, but everyone else does. Yeah, I actually saw footage after that story. Did it look like a nip slip? They cut it really fast so you can barely tell. Look at it.
Starting point is 00:26:10 It doesn't matter. But nip slips are huge on the internet. Tag that on the website. What? Nip slip. Nip slip. Yeah. Nancy Grace nip slip.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Tag that on the website. People are searching it out. People go to sex tonami.com. Okay. A little nugget for you guys. I love you, Manas. You're so good. Okay. Teacher fired for having sex with adults in private. 35-year-old Florida elementary school teacher Natalie was, Natalie sent to Gata was recently
Starting point is 00:26:34 fired after someone sent her employer photos and videos depicting her engaged in sex acts with consenting adults. She also may have smoked some weed in the videos. Oops. The office of the Charlotte County school district, where she worked for the previous nine years, most recently as a fifth grade teacher received four photos and five videos,
Starting point is 00:26:51 reaching her performing various sex acts. But the videos were created in private places with no students or minors present. School officials and the general public have criticized her for her perceived moral shortcomings without condemning those of the person who sent the videos over the country. The scrutiny is who do we allow to teach our children? Certainly not adults who have sex. I mean, that's crazy. She shouldn't get fired for that.
Starting point is 00:27:12 Yeah, that's, she never came to work high, presented her home or movies in her classroom. Whatever teacher, she gets, gets, smokes a joint and gets laid. But she sure in a video tape didn't even know today's show is how to make a sex tape. I think people get so messed up and they just like don't notice people filming them like what happens? laid. But she shouldn't have videotaped it even though today's show is how to make a sex tape. I think you'll get so messed up and they just like don't notice people filming them like what happens. Yeah, don't ever videotape yourself getting high. Right. Don't do that. Yeah, exactly. That's stupid. But I don't think she should have gotten fired. But it was in Florida. I'm not saying they're in Florida, but there's always weird stuff going on in Florida. Florida is pretty crazy. Florida released a story. It was a Florida Chronicle. Okay. SFL Chronicle.com, I believe, where they said that XC has been proven 100% to kill
Starting point is 00:27:59 cancer cells. Wow. Yeah, I know that they've been doing research with XC for quite a while now. Yeah, but they put that out there yesterday and their website like crashed. Heck, really? It feels like your brain cells too. Yeah, but you know what, if I have cancer, I'll be eat out all day. I know exactly. You're like, it might as well be really psyched to have cancer, right? Yeah. That's so fun. I never heard didn't hear that story I probably want to like bang all the time to exactly what's wrong with that? That's wrong with that. Yeah, XC but not a good drug You got to get the you got to get it from the prescription XC though You give prescription XC? Well, that's they I'm sure they all right
Starting point is 00:28:38 Yeah, the stuff your cancer. Yeah, I'm sure it's not you know stuff on the street It's not gonna cure cancer is probably gonna kill you Exactly be careful kids with drugs say no Yeah, I'm sure it's not, you know, stuff on the street is not going to cure cancer. It's probably going to kill you. Exactly. Be careful kids with drugs. Say no. Okay. That's why I've never done XSC because you could die from the first time. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:28:53 People do die all the time when they OD on it and you don't know what's in it. Yeah, it's made of like rat poison. Get it from your doctor. Yeah. You have to get it. Yeah. But okay, let's get into some emails. All right. all right today's topics include long distance relationships oral sex and marriage sex classes dating younger women and penis size
Starting point is 00:29:11 Okay, always penis size dear Emily my wife and I've been fighting a lot lately We are very sexually active when I'm home, but right now I'm serving another term and bad dad I'm wondering if our sex might be the glue of our relationship might be the glue of our relationship or if that is even possible. I guess I'm asking for advice on what I can do to keep my wife happy while being overseas. I hope you've time to answer me back. I'm sure you get hundreds of messages every day. I love the show. And I find it helps me stay focused on missions in downtown bad dad. Love always Jim. Thanks Jim. Jim
Starting point is 00:29:42 thanks for serving thanks for serving our country. I agree that sex is really the glue to many relationships and all I'm saying I think that you know it's hard. What are you gonna do when you're gone? But anyways that you can find to emotionally support her. Support her more than you know like sending her notes sending her emails letting you know you're thinking of our center sexy. I don't know how you do it like Skype have Skype sucks Can you do that? Do they have access to computers? I don't know what it's like for being a soldier and Baghdad But I mean there are things that you could do to I would say I mean women a lot of times it is sex is tied into a motion
Starting point is 00:30:17 So she feels like she's desired by you and she feels like you know, I mean this is just a temporary thing that you're away and I would say that you just have to try to keep the romance alive through words, if you can, and through Skype sex, if you can, or phone sex or something like that. But I mean, that's still never going to be enough. And there's no replacement for the actual act of sex. But whatever you can do, find out what you ask her, what she wants. Like, what does she need from you? I mean, have you guys ever really had that conversation and said, you know, what exactly do you need?
Starting point is 00:30:47 Like, have you tried to solve this problem together? And she might be there might be some things that she's not getting from you or your way that you can provide her. Obviously, you can't provide your penis to her right now, but there might be other things that she needs to keep her sustained. So you get back in town. Find that thing that we heard about it on the internet. I knew you can say that.
Starting point is 00:31:04 You can plug in the USB. The USB thing and have sex. I doubt that he has those capabilities and Baghdad, but exactly. I'm sure if he's listening in the show. Right. I would say it's time to, I mean, this is the thing that baffles me. Is it so many couples never ever talk about their sex life? I mean, email me about it, but I'm saying to you, go back and talk to about it. What do you guys think together would be a great way to keep the spark and the romance alive while you're gone? Like, what does she need?
Starting point is 00:31:31 What do you need? And just bang her all out when you're home. Yeah. Bang the crap. No, we gotta look. Can we get a link on that for the website that you must be thinking? Because a lot of people are-
Starting point is 00:31:41 The US people are sex thing. Because people are, I mean, a lot of the emails we get are about long distance relationships and some of the people are trying to work through it. And that's our deciding if they want to do that. She had to totally try that thing. That'd be totally cool. I love to get a partner just to try it out.
Starting point is 00:31:57 Yeah. I got you. She would call us and check that I know more. Do we found it online, right? We found it before. We'll post it, but it reminds me me it kind of looks like the tanga masturbation sleeve that you're gonna have to use you know that's coming up our Little bet about okay. Good. Yeah, the veterans ball. Uh-huh. The veterans ball or the soldiers ball or whatever it's
Starting point is 00:32:19 I'm so bad. I can't remember. It's something like the Something milacoon is was invited by a soldier. It's not veterans though. It's not veterans. It's something like the something. Mealikunus was invited by a soldier. It's not veterans though. It's not veterans. It's soldiers ball or something. Yeah. And Mealikunus was invited by one. The Marine. Yeah, you're Marine ball.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Yeah. Thank you. So, and, um, and she, he invited her via YouTube video. And she said that at first she said she couldn't do it. And then she said she could do it. And I don't think she's going to go in November. I think she's going to something's going to come up and she's going to have a movie set
Starting point is 00:32:43 and she's not going to be able to go with the soldier. And I said, when that happens, menace is gonna have to use a Tenga T-E-N-G-A masturbation sleeve, which is this really cool thing. I gotta bring it in and show you, but it's really cool for men. And I think it's, we'd be great for soldiers in Iraq to carry around a masturbation sleeve too.
Starting point is 00:32:59 Menace is gonna have to use it. And then if I lose, which I won't, I have to eat a banana on there. Just bring you up to speed on our little bat. And you have to eat it whenever. You said one banana, you can't change it to two bananas because you can't. I'm going to find the largest banana I can. You got to better start not looking because it's never going to happen.
Starting point is 00:33:15 I'm not going to lose this fight. Oh, and where I'm looking on the website. Where's the picture of it being the Tinky Winky outfit? It's yesterday's show. Go under episodes. Okay. Are we here yesterday? No, go under under episodes you know what I think we posted on I don't hear yesterday I don't see it on the blog either oh it should be there it's
Starting point is 00:33:33 on Facebook we posted on Facebook on our flexibility page but I thought we posted on the website too maybe not okay write that down we're gonna post it on the website too because yesterday was a busy day. It took another one. Oh my God. Yeah. Tinky Winky is a teletubby. It's a teletubby. And I didn't know it was the gay teletubby until after I bought the outfit.
Starting point is 00:33:51 Menace is a gay teletubby in his off time. And an alcoholic. So I've been posting a gay teletubby alcoholic. I've been posting on Instagram. I'm just a gay teletubby alcoholic. Now Instagram's an app. It's only strictly for the iPhone right now, where it's basically Twitter, but with photographs
Starting point is 00:34:06 And there's a lot of stuff that I share on Instagram that I don't share on my Twitter and my Facebook and my blog so I have a friend that works for For Instagram and she saw me I've put on this tinky winky outfit After I went to the Hollywood It's just for fun because I went to the Halloween store and I thought it'd be funny. Never tell Moment with you. So I put it on, I take the picture, and then she's like, oh my God, you gotta do like a whole series,
Starting point is 00:34:30 like a photos. So, one of the first photos in the series is Tinky Winky, cooking breakfast. That's the one that's on my Facebook page, such that I'm like, I'm gonna go there. And then I took one yesterday where it's
Starting point is 00:34:45 Tinky Winky taking a shower. Oh my God. And it was huge. If I can load it, we don't have great service. It's hilarious. You look so cute and you're a little Tinky Winky outfit.
Starting point is 00:34:53 Yeah, but I don't show my face. I'm not sure. Never. And anything? No, only the first one. Not. I think we should do one. I think we should do one.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Oh my God. That's hilarious. Yeah. Oh my God. We do with your plastic shower curtain. That one, Steve. We'll get that. Oh my God, that's hilarious. Yeah. Oh my God, we do through plastic shark curtain. That is so funny. Are you gonna be there in Halloween for sure? Yeah. Pink teletubby.
Starting point is 00:35:12 My work has a, I have the gay one was a concert. Oh, I have the gay one was purple, but maybe I'm getting teletubby. That is purple. It looks pink. You are colorblind. That is so purple.
Starting point is 00:35:22 I might be, my dad was colorblind, but I don't think I'm colorblind. Tinky Winky pictures are gonna be up on our website and there are I'm just keep doing that. I love it. All right. It's just for Joe. I don't know why I'm doing it, but It's fun and you have any good time. I'm not I'm not furry Pictures the chick who lives with you People are taking the pictures. God You're gonna call me on that every single day?
Starting point is 00:35:47 Because you never talk about it and it's just mysterious. I'm coming over. I'm coming over and getting to the bottom of it. Go ahead. You know, I've never been to your house. You've never invited me over. I know because I'm in a situation. Jesus, get enough of the situation.
Starting point is 00:35:59 It's really bogging you down and me. Yes. Okay. Next email. Hi, Emily. I love your show. I'm a listener from New Brunswick, Canada, and I've recently listened to one of your podcasts where
Starting point is 00:36:08 someone noted that women stop giving oral sex after marriage. I would like to tell you that after 15 years of marriage, I've received and given more oral in the last year than the first 10 years combined. Wow. In fact, I would give it even more if we found the time. The reasons are quite clear. She loves me. I love her and we make time for each other. Not all relationships are doomed to failure and your listeners need to know that.
Starting point is 00:36:32 We have two children who are eight and 12 and yes, we have to plan our rendezvous but that makes it even more fun. I would love for you to read this letter on your podcast so my wife can truly see how much I appreciate her in my life, sign Paul. I love that email. There's so many life, sign Paul. I love that email. There's so many emails that I love, I love that email.
Starting point is 00:36:47 That email is a top email because it's like, there is a thing, there is a rumor out there or a stereotype or whatever, that women stop performing oral sex unman after they get married, after they get married. They're like, okay, here's oral sex and then the penis never in the mouth again, after they get married. There is a rumor. Women stop. And he's saying,
Starting point is 00:37:08 that's not true. And we've heard from a lot of people that it is true. And I know a lot of women who are married, not a lot, but a few friends who are like, I hate it. I don't want to do it. I should just call my friend that's married and see if that happens. Sure. Call your friend. Love calling your friends. Paul, thanks for the email. That's awesome. I'm glad that you guys continue to perform oral sex even more and more. They've been together 15 years and the last five years is even more oral sex.
Starting point is 00:37:30 Please, when you get married is the last thing you should start having more sex. Because really, it's going to wane anyway. It happens in marriage. It happens in relationships. And you should keep on keep it on. Yeah. My friends have been married about, I think, five years now.
Starting point is 00:37:49 Yep. So we'll ask him. We're calling him? Does he get an answer? My friends a little bit more normal than yours. We can have your friends. What? Do you know my friends?
Starting point is 00:37:59 Yeah, I know your friends, your friends, text message about how they get dumpsters of man-juicins, I them and stuff. That's just one friend. She's in classy tech star, sex star. He's not answering. He should be answering, but keep it going. Okay.
Starting point is 00:38:17 So next email. Yeah. Hi, Emily. Just found your show on iTunes last week and I can't stop listening to it. Everything that you say makes so much sense. I'm about to graduate high school in Michigan and I feel that listening to your show makes me more prepared for the real world. I know that I might not fit in the typical demographic for the show, but knowing these great tips that you give out makes me so much more confident. I've never kissed a boy before, but I know that I probably won't find
Starting point is 00:38:40 the one in this chapter of my life. If possible, could you do a part in one of your shows for future college students? Thank you so much. I just love you and keep the good work. XOXO, XO, Christianity, Christiana, PS. Thanks for adding me as a friend on Facebook. That's awesome. She's a Michigan.
Starting point is 00:38:57 That's where I grew up in Michigan high school. And she hasn't kissed anyone yet and the show's happening around I love that. We should do a show. I've been thinking about that. That when you're in different stages of your life, when you're in high school's happening or when I love that. We should do a show. I've been thinking about that that when you're in different stages of your life, when you're in high school, you need some sex tips. When you're in college, there's a different host of sex tips when you're in merit, when you're
Starting point is 00:39:11 dating, like there's, there's sex tips for everyone. So I think college student sex tips, not a bad idea. I'm gonna release an app. I'm gonna release an app for that. College sex. College sex. Not bad idea. By sex with Emily.
Starting point is 00:39:24 Sex with Emily. Yeah, I love it. Thanks, Cristiana. I love that you're in Michigan too. That's right. I know. You get a lot of love from Michigan. I get a lot of love from Michigan. You think there's a lot of people that just follow you online from home. I don't know, maybe.
Starting point is 00:39:35 I've got a lot of my high school friends around there and following by. I'm not really friends that I've been gone for so long. Yeah. But I appreciate that. Okay. Hello. I'm wondering if you can provide recommendations for the best sex classes and workshops in SF My boyfriend are looking to spice up our love life and get better get better techniques in the bedroom
Starting point is 00:39:51 And I or despite looking to spice up our love life and get better techniques in the bedroom And I was thinking that you could recommend someone or coach for us any help you can provide is greatly appreciated from Victoria So in the Bay area sex classes., there is the Citadel, CITADL, Bay of Classes. The good vibrations has classes. Just go to other websites. Good vibrations, you have to go to the Instra Classes. Center for Sex and Culture has classes. And as far as sex coaches, Celeste and Danielle, Celeste and Danielle.com, they're amazing, sex coaches in the Bay Area, they can give you some sex advice and coaching if you need it. So those are some places that have classes for you.
Starting point is 00:40:30 I walk by good vibrations all the time. Yeah. Which one? I'll unfold straight. I'll unfold. But there's also, there's one on mission too that I'll have to buy. Yeah. Oh, I'm having a party there.
Starting point is 00:40:43 I can invite everyone. It's open. On the mission? Yeah, October 6th at the Good New Good Fibrations store. I'm mission and fifth across from the Blue Endales. I am having a book launch party from 6 to 8 p.m. Nice. My new book had sex.
Starting point is 00:40:58 So everyone should come if you're in the Bay Area around that time. Door. Yeah. Okay. Have you ever been into good vibrations? I have. I've lost by many times.
Starting point is 00:41:07 You never go in. Of course you haven't. I have. I need to take you there. Can I take you there? We'll walk around. They'll be there. I'll support your book lunch.
Starting point is 00:41:15 You're going to come? Yeah. I love it. You can come to my book lunch. Okay. Let's move into our sex tips. How to make a sex tape with your partner. Okay.
Starting point is 00:41:24 I want to hear what you have to say before I come in. Okay. Making a poor with your partner is a great way to spice up your sex life. You can make the video very elaborate and turn it to a personal porn movie or simply film yourself having a good time. The key is to have fun with it. And that's to be too drunk. I just added that. Have fun with it. To make a porn you will need a video camera or cameras, a tripod, drop or bed comforter other props as needed do you agree what else do you need?
Starting point is 00:41:50 I agree but I mean you don't really need to invest in a tripod I'm sure you can put it on something but actually a tripod could probably get iPod's for like 15 bucks yeah and you can probably it can probably angle better you might have to tilt the camera down a little bit. Right. Okay. Yeah, okay. Investment should be okay. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:42:09 Make sure that your partner is completely enthusiastic about the idea. It won't be fun or sexy if he or she is not having a wonderful time. Yeah. Plan the plot. Side whether you want to tell story in your porn or whether you just want to tape yourself doing the D. We should in a porn now. Wow.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Because sex tape, we just kind of go for it. If you choose to create a story to say whether you want to write a script or add the scenes. So are you just going to film yourself straight for having sex or you can do some plot. Some people get kind of funky. They want to just spend costumes. They want to do a whole story. Dude, if I can find something down for a plot, I would totally. You would not. I would totally do. I'm an ex-film student. That's how I got into radio because I did a documentary on radio DJs. Like my whole background is film. Do any of your sex tapes that you've made with your previous girlfriends have plots?
Starting point is 00:42:50 No. Wow. But I never even thought of making a part. It's just straight forward boning. Yeah. You get to the most important part. I love the evil of these sex tapes. Yeah, but I would be totally down to shoot a one with a plot. Like, what would the plot be like I just think of I don't know I mean I have friends who do this like you just met and it's like your
Starting point is 00:43:12 first time especially if you're a couple who's been together for a while and you can be like kind of nervous and shy and make it like a plot or you could dress up in costumes and you can be like the policeman and the whatever whatever whatever, like that, I think it'd be funny. The policeman. The policeman and they're getting a ticket. Oh no officer, please send me ticket. Can I shoot one? You don't have to have sex in it.
Starting point is 00:43:33 I'll the shoot one where we just make it like a trailer, like a plot. That'd be so funny. I can totally shoot that. Who would be in it? Minutes, you shoot it? No, I mean, I'll shoot it and then you can. Who would I be in it?
Starting point is 00:43:45 You'd be like, no, you don't have to do it with anybody. It can just be like, you so low, a little bit. It's a trailer. You don't have to show anything. Okay. And then you can be like a sexy cop or something answering the door. Totally. I got sexy costumes that I need to wear way more often than I do.
Starting point is 00:44:01 Let's do it. I can totally shoot it. Can we add it to our list of things to do? Yes. That is on the list of things to do? Yes. That is on the list of you setting up my DVR, but whatever. OK, choose the props and costumes. Even if you're not telling a story, you're wanting to decide what you and your partner will wear
Starting point is 00:44:14 and whether you will use sex toys. Sex toys are awesome. I think they'd be awesome for a sex tape. And if you want to buy sex toys, I just got to give a shout out to Adamaneeve.com because Adamaneeve is where you should buy all your sex toys. They've you want to buy sex toys, I just got to give a shout out to Adam and Eve. Com because Adam and Eve is where you should buy all your sex toys. They've props. They've toys.
Starting point is 00:44:29 They've games. They've lingerie. And all you got to do is use coupon code Emily at checkout. You get 50% off most items plus three free gifts and adult DVD and free shipping. What is the problem there? None. It's perfect. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:43 And do you know what? Lighting is key too. Lighting is totally key. Lighting is, you got to make sure because you don't want everything to turn out all orange. So what's your recommendations for lighting? That's one of my points down there. But what do you, what do you recommend? You know, just try to bring, yeah, try to bring as much lighting as in as you can into the room. And then also turn off the TVs. Any other sound just just. Yeah, and the computers. Yeah, just any distracting sounds.
Starting point is 00:45:10 Because let's say you want to edit it later, you're not going to be able to cut that audio together. You're going to have to take out all the audio and then put a, put music over it. But you want the natural sound. Yeah, the best part is the sound the morning. Yeah, right. Okay, that's good. That's good advice. Pick a location. Choose where you'll be filming it. Make sure the background color complement your skin tones and they're already distracting patterns. That's true.
Starting point is 00:45:31 You got like posters and stuff all over the wall. That could be very distracting, right? Yeah. You're just gonna hold onto it. The posters could go out of date. You have Kurt Cameron from Team B on there. Exactly. You want to look at it and then you're like, oh.
Starting point is 00:45:44 Did you have posters on your wall going off? Just curious. No posters. OK. So pick a location. So that's a good idea. So think about it. Think about the background.
Starting point is 00:45:53 Prepare the cameras. Within a while, a night center dresser can hold a video camera. You'll get more porn-like angles if you use a tripod. Do some test shots to make sure you've angled the camera the best. It's possible. If you've accessed more than one camera, you can use use both and then have added a great video on your camera.
Starting point is 00:46:08 That's pretty. Have you done two Shatouk camera? I haven't. I'm surprised you haven't. You missed your film student, sex tape maker. No, if you can do, if I had like at least three or four cameras, I could do a 360 view. That would be amazing. Yeah, or they could go pro. Go pro, yeah. Go pro would be good for porn, right? Amazing. Put it on your lever on your head. Go pro camera. Yeah. There's these other attachments for your
Starting point is 00:46:36 iPhone that you can put on there and it can do a 360 view of video. So you can you can actually click on the video file and then move the video file as the video is playing and move it 360. Wow. Yeah, it's crazy. That would be good. That would be good. See now you're thinking about how to improve your sex tapes. So yeah, so just like Google 360 video attachment for iPhone and you can see what I'm talking about. That is so cool. I can't wait to get my iPhone next month. Okay, check the light. Make sure you've got enough light to see everything you want to see in your porn. Do some more in your porn and your sex tape. Do some more test shots to
Starting point is 00:47:14 check. You can always bring lamps in from other rooms to help. I always will never have a shooting video, not my sex videos, but you have to always bring in more light than you think, right? Garouming. We realize that maybe you're not always tidy. We're not always tidy, but the camera's going to see things that you couldn't possibly with any amount of neck craning. So problem areas to consider, this is for dudes, are your back, but in perennium. If you have hair, you don't, if you have hair, you don't have to shave those areas,
Starting point is 00:47:40 but do consider undertaking some serious man-scaping to make things viewer friendly. I'm sure the women are already escaping, but man-scaping is good for men. Yeah, you gotta trim it up a little bit. Trim it up. Oh, you always gotta trim it up. That's kinda like the trend in what we're doing. And it makes your dick look bigger. That's what they say.
Starting point is 00:47:58 You trim your pubic hair. I feel like men are doing that more now, but not all of these, but a lot. And it does make your penis look bigger. It's like, where will South they're still? Wow. I'm here to tell you that there are. That's gross. It doesn't bother me.
Starting point is 00:48:12 I'm actually like, I've done shows on man's escaping. I talk about man's escaping. I think if you've got a big bush down there and she's going down in here, whatever, it's good to have a shave, it's good to have a clip, but it's not a deal breaker for me personally, but that's just me. Wow, that's so 80s of you. Ah, whatever. I don't care. I'm open. I'm a free spirit.
Starting point is 00:48:31 Okay, pop a cork, a glass of wine or tequila, shot before disrobing can help you relax, but don't over and dulled. Don't over and dulled, men. What? Too much booze can lead to either passing out of drunk or engaging in embarrassing behaviors that you definitely don't want recorded. Snooki just said the other day on episode is that the whiskey wiener is the best because they can go for, because guys can go forever. Yeah, and then they don't remember it or have an orgasm. I mean, they can eventually have one. Not always. I love
Starting point is 00:49:07 you. You were like drunk. F-duped sex is amazing. It's like you don't remember it. How do you know? Yeah, you do. Totally remember it. Okay, so zip it. Moans are fine. Lots of chatter about how your work day went or attempting to mimic what porn stars sound like is unnecessary. Unsexy and is likely to make you cringe when you hear it later. Let's talk more action. So not like a lot of chatty chatty talk, just moaning and sex, right? I totally agree with that story. I won't be like, how do we should talk?
Starting point is 00:49:34 Oh no. But this is not the time to have a conversation. Okay, this is the most important part right here. Hide the evidence. Here comes important part, protecting your tape from prying eyes, the safest approach is to watch the tape once and then delete it. But if you're going to keep an original, it's in your best interest to maintain possession of the tape.
Starting point is 00:49:52 One time, I don't shoot anything on tape anymore, digital video. But the first one I did because it's before everything went straight to chips and stuff like that and It was a small mini DV tape and at the time I was logging a bunch of DV tapes for my friend giant Box them like a hundred something and I Mailed that box to New York and I thought I mailed the tape inside You didn't but you thought you did but I didn't Oh my god see that's the kind of stuff that can have people do here. Yeah, but I'm, but I'm much smarter about it now. That was my first one ever. I didn't know what I was doing. Yeah, I'm good. I got a
Starting point is 00:50:32 seek. Will you show me when you're sexy? I got to keep a game. Tell me what I'm going to show me when I show you one. You really want to want to. I really want to. I won't tell anyone. All right. let me call and get permission for us. Oh, see, the good time I got. I'm sure she'll be totally cool. That woman who called me while she was giving you blowjob? Yeah, no, no. Oh, a different woman, okay. Okay, store it under lock and key and a safe
Starting point is 00:50:55 with a note that says private, please destroy it. In case you can hit by a car and your grieving parents come to clear out your stuff. In other words, guard it with your life. Do not make a copy or let anyone have the digital file. Yeah, don't. The break up. If you and your partner split up, the right thing to do
Starting point is 00:51:09 is to lead the tape and any copies, which we told you not to make anyway. Well, the guys will never do that. They'll never delete it. So you got to make sure you're not with some crazy cycle. So don't be with a crazy cycle man, and make a sex tape, OK? Burn it, stab it, run over with your car,
Starting point is 00:51:23 whatever it takes. Don't just throw it in the trash and think, that's that. Make sure to discuss the head of time how you'll be using the video. If one of you wants to share it on the internet, one of you wants to keep it private, you should have an agreement before filming.
Starting point is 00:51:34 And finally, just press record and have a great time. Make sure to discuss the head of time how you'll be using it. If only one of you wants to share it, whatever filming, that's what I gotta say about that. That's how to make a sex tape in the most reliable, responsible way. That's what I'm gonna make yours. I don't know, I have to find the right person.
Starting point is 00:51:53 I'm asking the girl if I can show you the right person. You are? Yeah. Oh my God, I'm so excited. When can we do it tonight? I don't know. I gotta wait. I wanna watch it.
Starting point is 00:52:01 I've never made one. Maybe it'll inspire me. Maybe by seeing your art, your cinematic art, I will want to make a sex tape myself. OK. OK, but probably not. OK, everyone, I think that wraps it up. Tomorrow is Wednesday's show.
Starting point is 00:52:15 We'll be playing a best of, and you won't want to miss that. And then Thursday, my mom is here, and you all get to see her and talk to her, and she'll be sharing all of her favorite sex and relationship tips, because she's really smart. Yeah. And that's what I got for you. Thanks, everyone her and talk to her and she'll be sharing all of her favorite sex and relationship tips because she's really smart. Yeah. And that's what I got for you. Thanks everyone for listening to Sex Family.
Starting point is 00:52:30 Do you have anything else to say? Check out the photos of me dressed up as Tinky Winky on sex with Emily.com. Yes. Okay, he's hilarious. Okay, thanks everyone for listening to Sex Family. It was a good for you. Email me. Feedback at sex with Emily.com.
Starting point is 00:52:37 me feedback at sexfamily.com.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.