Sex With Emily - Episode 309 - Hot Sex

Episode Date: October 7, 2011

 Emily's co-author Jamye Waxman talks about their book Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight, first masturbation experiences, if you really love someone do you swallow?, pubic hair trends and ...armpit hair, how to get more foreplay, the two most important things for anal sex, how to touch breasts, taking it slow, men who love the vagina vs. men who don't, threesome etiquette, shower sex and can you teach someone to be a better kisser? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 I Look into his eyes They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that mark our sacred institutions Betruma eyes they call them in a bike on me. Hey, Emily You got a boyfriend because my man E here. He just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute The girls got a hair stand. It's Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Lily?
Starting point is 00:00:26 What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm off there. So, I'm gone. Being bad feels pretty good.
Starting point is 00:00:34 You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can get all your sex information. Thanks everyone for tuning into the show. A lot of you are watching right now. Hi, thanks for being here with us from one to two today. I'm so excited for today's show and I can hardly contain it. Today is, I have my co-author of the new book that I just wrote. I'm going to hold this up. It's Hot Sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight. Jamie Waxman. It's my co-author. She's sitting here
Starting point is 00:01:06 And she knows so much about sex. We're gonna be talking down and dirty about everything today So I'm very excited that she's here and we'll get into that and Hi, menace. Hi. How you doing? How you doing? How you going? How's it going? I'm good. It's Friday. I'm all right drunk. Free Friday No, no, I like rushed over here. I was hosting Free Friday. Are you drunk? No, no, I was over here. I was rushed over here. I was hosting some an artist I and do performance. Yeah, happy free Friday. This show is free to everyone. You know, we do shows Monday, Tuesday, and Thursdays, but this shows free to the world.
Starting point is 00:01:34 Everyone can watch it. So thanks for joining us on our special free Friday, which is awesome day because we get to talk about sex. Yeah, everything. Everything. So the book show. The book party. So last night was the first book launch that we had.
Starting point is 00:01:45 Jamie and I had this book launch at Good Vibrations in San Francisco, which is this amazing sex store at their new location on Mission Street. And they actually emailed today and said it was the best book launch they've had in the six years that the women's and that she's been working there and we sold out all of our books. We'd great turn out. I know that they were even for sale. Yeah. Really? I would have bought one. They were sold out when I think. Okay. Maybe not. I'm just gonna turn out. I didn't know that they were even for sale. Yeah. Really? I would have bought one. Yeah, they were sold out, I think. Oh, okay. But maybe not. I'm just going to excuse me.
Starting point is 00:02:08 I'll get you one. So, yeah, it was a really exciting night and lots of people were there and we signed books. And I'd never signed, but it was my first book. I'd, Jamie's written tons of books. I, it's my first book. So someone's like, we've signed it. I'm like, oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:02:20 What? You have this exciting. That's really cool. So we got tons of pictures, which Jamie, I can't wait to share with you. We just got them back. So we're gonna be posting those at sexwithfamily and Facebook. So you have to go like my page and we'll be posting them
Starting point is 00:02:32 and our Twitter will tweet them out. Yeah. And you post them on sexwithfamily.com. Oh, and sexwithfamily.com too. Yeah, exactly. It was really fun. It was a little website. It was so exciting.
Starting point is 00:02:42 And yeah, I did stop by for like 10 minutes I was I was so dragon ass like I only slept four hours and I I was gonna take a nap so I can be ready for the and I was gonna point up for that. I had to go Straight from work to the event and I just and you started introducing me to everybody. I'm so I know you were like Please don't please don't I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now.
Starting point is 00:03:08 I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now.
Starting point is 00:03:16 I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now.
Starting point is 00:03:24 I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want to talk to anybody right now. I don't want me to people. It was the one time you didn't have your phone on you. Well, I know, because it was in the back right. Yeah, and I was trying to do it. Usually it's attached to my face, but it was in the other room. I was trying to text you about things, and then you didn't. It was very exciting. You texted me back, way later.
Starting point is 00:03:34 Whatever, but we're having another one and we're ready. That is gonna be fun. I know. And if you guys want to come to the show, or you can leave us a message anytime, 415-9927-392, we can always leave your messages, your comments, your questions, anything you want. We might play your message during the show
Starting point is 00:03:51 and answer all those questions. We got your emails today and we're going to be talking to Jamie and it's exciting. So what do you have to this weekend? This weekend, one of my favorite comics and one of my friends, Ralphie May, who is a big comic you'll see on HBO and doing specials all the time. Right. He's in town. All your fancy friends. Yeah, he's in town, and so I'm gonna go check him out
Starting point is 00:04:11 at Cobb's Comedy Club. I'll go do that, and then Sunday, all the ladies favorite, I have to go to Inkebis, Brandon Boyd, which the ladies just swooned all the time. The ladies love him. I don't know anything about anything about that. Brandon Boyd? Nope. Anybody? Anybody in the room? Yes The ladies love him. I don't know anything about anything about that. Brandon Boyd. Nope.
Starting point is 00:04:25 Anybody? Anybody in the room? Yes, everyone loves him. I don't know. Yeah. Pop culture. There is one lady in the room like saying that she loves him. Right, okay, that's good.
Starting point is 00:04:33 That'd be fun. I'm sure if I showed you a photo of him, you know, I would fall in love with him. I would fall in love with him. Yes. But I'm sure that I probably wouldn't know who he is. Yeah. But that's cool.
Starting point is 00:04:42 Okay, so also our book Hot Sacks are showing us the camera now. We're going to be giving away a few copies. If you want to copy the book, you have to email me feedback at section only.com. And please your case. Why does your sex life need improvement? Tell me why you need this book because the book has over 200 things you can try tonight. And they're like totally doable things that will actually improve your sex life. So if you would like to win a free copy of the book email me feedback at section sex.me.com why you think you need this book. And then we will choose
Starting point is 00:05:08 a winner next week. Well, just the you know where this should be also the book is like at like Wondercon and the and like comic type things because the illustrations are beautiful. Yeah, that's a good point. We could do that and nerds got money Nerds got when the nerds sex right that's a great idea. We should write that down my friends The suicide girls are there all the time and they have a book. That's like cool It's a great idea. But then it just happened in Comic Con or is it happened all the time? No, no It's not like no, you don't know You're like a medicine father, having medicine. It's in July, I have next year.
Starting point is 00:05:45 OK, got it. We'll do that then. Also, we have a new poll on our site. Please go vote right now. How would you rate your current sex life? A, what sex life? B, I satisfy myself. C, at least I'm getting some.
Starting point is 00:05:58 And D, no complaints here. And E, mind blowing. We want to know about your sex life. So go to sexsexylevy.com and please vote for that. That would be awesome. And yeah, that's what we got. Okay, so we can go into, we're gonna skip a little sex the new day.
Starting point is 00:06:14 Let's just read, because Jamie's here. Okay, let's put Jamie on camera now. Okay. Okay. I thought it was a different time, but it's home. No, I changed my mind. Okay. Hi Jamie.
Starting point is 00:06:24 Say hi to everyone. Hi. How you doing? I'm doing well. What's going on? Why didn't she talk to me at the party last night? You know, because I never saw your face before, so I didn't know who you were.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Why didn't you talk to me? I wait for the ladies to come to me. That's my problem. That's his problem, Jamie. Can we? No, actually, it's not a problem. We can analyze and break down menace. They make me tire of shell. He needs a lot of help. But, um, I mean, any help, you're
Starting point is 00:06:48 the one that needs to be doing fine. I need help. I'm doing fine. Yeah. I'm ready to convince. Where are you on the pole? Where are you on the sex pole? On the sex pole? Yes. The, the, the, the, not having sex. So do you remember us? Because he's always drunk. Yeah. I like, I like drunk sex is the best. You can agree. Drunk sex can be more adventurous for sure, but it's definitely not the only way to have sex. It's a experimenting time, right? I mean, more people experiment during drunken sex, but I think that experimenting other times is more memorable.
Starting point is 00:07:17 Do you know how much anal happens because of drunk sex? Awesome, man, so let's promote that. What? Would you say more? I'd say more anal sex doesn't happen. I mean, not promoting it, but I know what happens. We're not promoting it. We're talking truth. Menus talks about it.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Let's move a little closer to each other here and then we'll turn in. How's that, Kels? Awesome. Okay, so, yeah, drunken sex. That's menus big thing. So, it's awesome. Contribution. That's the book I, yeah, drunken sex. That's been a big thing. So it's awesome contribution. Yeah, that's the book I'm writing drunken sex. That's a good one. Drunk sex. I bet you said with missionary. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. It let's all One. That's a great idea. Dude, let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's hot sex to the alcohol edition. Exactly for alcohol. I know we have a new I have a new margarita recipe. Oh, you do?
Starting point is 00:08:05 No, not newer than the one that I knew last time. Well, there's this one. There's this drink that I've... I only know one. There's this drink that I've shared with Emily called the panty dropper. And then we could like put that together with something. So that would... I would call it the opener.
Starting point is 00:08:17 What is it? Well, he's the as opener. Have you ever heard of a Moscow mule? It's basically, it's vodka. Ginger ale, like Canadian dry ginger ale and then you take lime and then you squeeze the lime in there and you mix it all together Delicious, but to make it a true panty dropper. You got to take a little drop of grenindine to make it pink There you go, and probably to make it a really true panty dropper a lot of vodka You can agree that it's a delicious drink. I'm's a delicious drinker like i can't i don't
Starting point is 00:08:47 like face about call i was sucking down like two three of those when we know so i liked about it my panties and i dropped that night i'm saying true uh... okay let's get into some emails we're just gonna do a few today because jamey and i have a lot to talk about uh... okay so hey amalie my name is john and i'm a huge fan. I listened to all your podcasts. I just got home from work and was very stressed.
Starting point is 00:09:08 So I did something I've never done before, masturbate. I was just stretching out with my stress. When I noticed I had an erection and the thought just popped into my head. Like I said, I had never done it before. So I was not sure what to expect, but I had heard stories and let me tell you, it was the greatest thing I've ever felt.
Starting point is 00:09:22 Forgive my fornance, but when, how did you discover masturbation from John? And I don't know how old he is. I kind of wanted to know how old he is. I can't believe John's never masturbated. I can't believe he wants to know how you discovered masturbation. Right, well, yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:09:34 I can answer that question in a second. And, um, but, oh, okay, how I discovered masturbation? Ah, answer it now. Really, really friggin' late. Like, it never occurred to me. Like, it never, I never thought to touch myself. And it was until I I was like 19 or 20 that I was like, Oh, what's this orgasm thing? I'm learning about it. And then I finally did it. And it just took a long time to figure that stuff out.
Starting point is 00:09:54 I'm actually the exact same way, Emily. So yeah, I was sexually active at a very young age. I mean, I was kissing girls, well, a girl at the age of 11. Did that for four years, like a lot. And then I met my first boyfriend and I was with him from 15 to 24 with one in between breakup. And we had, we were sexually active. I mean, I did wait, make him wait eight months for his first blow job in a year and a half to have sex. But after that, we were having sex regularly. And we were making out a lot. And I didn't know if I'd ever had an orgasm. I was listening to Howard Stern talk about the pocket rocket when I was 21 years old.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Oh my God. And I'm male ordered away for a vibrator for my first vibrator at the age of 21. Had my first orgasm thanks to a slimline vibrator and realized I had never had one before. Oh my God. And hadn't really thought anything of it and I had never really masturbated
Starting point is 00:10:43 because I was doing it other way. Right, right, right, right. So I was so there with you. Packer Racket was my first two. I love the Packer Racket. I tell everyone to start with that. And if you guys want a Packer Racket, go to Adamaniv.com. Use coupon code Emily at checkout.
Starting point is 00:10:56 You get 50% off most items. You get three adult DVDs, a free gift, free shipping. Go buy your Packer Racket now and it's a great vibrator used during intercourse. It's the one I always recommend first two because you don't want to spend a lot of money. I know always recommend first to because you don't want to spend a lot of money I know I love it. I just spend a lot of money. You can make it multi-speed by changing the batteries or letting the battery die down. Oh right, okay. It's very powerful for a very powerful. It's not like the hotachi but it's it's powerful enough.
Starting point is 00:11:19 But speaking of masturbation, I think that we should um... Oh wait, could I tell you how I discovered masturbation? Oh please dude. My blanket started getting crunchy and I was wondering what was going on. Sorry it's a guy's joke. It's a guy's joke. Oh but because guys masturbate so much that it like becomes an entire like your your blanket's not even soft anymore. Right exactly. So that's how you learn the fire. That's how you thick crunchy layer. layer oh god I think they're still crunchy oh yeah they're all often to do laundry I do laundry every week every Sunday if I ever
Starting point is 00:11:51 come to your house I know not to sit on the blanket yeah on on Monday on Monday because you'll wash the blanket Sunday afternoon you're good okay yeah yeah like on the weekends stay far away I think that we need to talk about Tango for second speaking of male masturbation masturbation and Tango. Okay. We love Tango. Okay, so Tango is let's start with their Mac daddy here. Tango is a male masturbation device. Basically people think sex toys are for women a lot of people. Yes, and men can have just as much fun with sex toys These are revolutionary products from Japanese company Tenga that does the masturbation for you. It takes all the work out of it. It's a lot better than your left hand.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Using Tenga products will also help you to increase your stamina, which will help you prevent premature ejaculation. So we get a lot of emails about premature ejaculation. This could be the answer to your prayers. So this one is the one that menace is going to use when we lose our bet. This is the Tenga flip air.
Starting point is 00:12:46 And okay, look, I'm showing the camera right now. It is amazing. It's got all these little rubbery, nubbery things in here. That's the thing that I when I first saw it on this, I thought it was this side. I'm like, all right, if everybody can see it. I thought it was that side.
Starting point is 00:13:02 I'm like, it just drops your weenerelle, but no, but everybody, there's that side where it looks like a vagina. Exactly, it's awesome. So then here it is, and then you pour, they come to the loob, you put the loob in it, you close it around your penis, and then it has these air pocket, air buttons
Starting point is 00:13:18 that like increase the suction. So you can, you can decide how much pressure you want in your penis, and then you move it in and out and it's amazing. It's tanga te gen te T-E-N-G-A.com, but then you put you put lubin it. Yeah, right you put lubin it and it doesn't this come out for washing or Yes, you can totally wash it and it comes out with your dishes or maybe your dishes or whatever, but then Then tanga came up with these new masturbation scenes. So if you don't want this whole device, which is amazing.
Starting point is 00:13:48 Okay, let's hold some of them off. These are my favorite these two. These are masturbation sleeves. Wait, I don't, I just put some flip them inside out. Flip them inside out. Okay. So they each have like nubby ridges on them. So this one in your hand is called the Zen.
Starting point is 00:14:02 Zen. Oh, the Zen. The Zen. This is the Spiral. They all have different names. This is the Spiral. Oh, the Zen. The Zen. This is the Spiral. They all have different names. This is the Spiral. Let me touch one. Not that I'm going to use that.
Starting point is 00:14:10 I just want to see. Yes, you are going to use it. This is the module, and this is the polygob. And see how it works. You flip it inside out. It makes noises. Put some loop in there. And then this.
Starting point is 00:14:19 And then you put on your penis, and you're like, ch-ch-ch-ch. And it feels amazing. Right, Jamie? Tell me what you've heard about this. Well, I actually love to use these with partners because it's another way of fun way to do a hand job without having to just use your hands. Right. And also, if you wanted, which you could do is cut the tip off here, so it comes out both ends and then use it during a blow job as well. So you don't have to go down as far. Oh, as far and then when he's ejaculating, you lift
Starting point is 00:14:45 this up, up, up, up, up, so you collect the cum and here and then we'll shut out. Oh my god. So that's your trick not to swallow. Well, no, my trick not to swallow is just to tell the guy, I want you to come on my chest or I want to see you come somewhere else and then they're like, oh my god, she or he's so hot, she knows where she goes. Where she goes, me to come. Do you know, I do not have a big swallower? Uh, no, I am. I'm just saying it's my trick for not swallowing. That's a great trick for not swallowing. So these masturbation sleeves everyone should check these out.
Starting point is 00:15:13 Because girls always. A great gift for men too. Girls always try to spit it back on you with like playing it. Which girls? Not always. Yeah, but that's like one of their tricks. Well, it's not a trick, but it happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They spit it back on you. I've never done that. Yeah, they slowly like like one of their tricks. Well, it's not a trick, but it happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:25 It's a bit of back on you. I've never done that. Yeah, they slowly like spit it back onto your, your greener. Oh, right, right, right, right. Okay, I've seen that in porn. Yeah, but that's what happens. Like a lot of girls get that initial taste
Starting point is 00:15:37 in their mouth or guys and they're like, but if the, if you go to the center of the tongue, that's where you're going to taste the most. So if you take it all the way back, if you know the person, if you don't know the person I would say, you know, don't swallow. And then you just plug your nose into swallow. Oh, no. No, that's not true.
Starting point is 00:15:54 But if you really love them, you swallow. Wait, Jamie, I love your blow job advice. Yeah, I mean, and also the masturbation. This is so awesome. I actually feel really good. Right now. Go find some guy out there and ask him. Yeah, feel. This one feels really good. They just feel so cool. And you can get any of these sizes. So everyone go to tanga te ng a dot com and check them out. It's a great present. It's a great gift. It's great for guys and menace. You're going to really love it when you take it home tonight. Menace and I have an ongoing bat that it's a bat. It's going to happen in November, right?
Starting point is 00:16:28 Okay. Yeah. Sum it up. Mealakunis was invited to the Marine Ball. Horse Ball. What? The Marine Corbal. The Marine Corbal.
Starting point is 00:16:37 Some guided the YouTube video and invited her, and I'm like, there's no way she's going to go. And menace thinks she's going to go. So I said, if you lose, when you lose, you will use this tango masturbation, so you can even take it home and do it, the tango flip air. And then if I lose...
Starting point is 00:16:51 You just have to eat a banana. I have to eat a banana during the show. Yeah, slowly on the... Slowly, slowly. But a big banana. Yeah, but that's what's your list or... Those are propositions, because you'll get extra potassium.
Starting point is 00:17:02 And why wouldn't you want to try this? Exactly. But it's just because I just want to prove a point because I like to prove that I'm always right. Oh right 99.9% of the time. He's not always right. He's right sometimes. Okay so do we answer his question about that? He just is good for you, Joe. I'm good for you if you've just discovered master. Yeah good for you and and you're gonna have a good time with it. Have a good and buy it by a tango masturbation sleeve. Okay. next question.
Starting point is 00:17:27 What? No, no, I was just thinking about my joke about the blanket being crunchy and only guys got that joke. That's why you guys. Yeah, we just like, what are you talking about? I just like, it's a young male joke. It's a young male joke. Yeah, we got it.
Starting point is 00:17:41 We think you're funny. No, totally. It's a guy's joke. Okay. Emily, I've noticed through personal experience that older women, my age or older 50 plus are reluctant to accept oral attention. Women in their 40s will accept it to a certain extent, but generally don't want more than five minutes as a warm up. I found that younger women 20s and 30s are extremely accepting of licking and kissing of the vagina. Do you think this
Starting point is 00:18:02 is a pie product? Do you think that is a byproduct of changing attitudes of oral sex and women during the past 20 years from Robert? That's interesting. I've never heard of it. I didn't know that there's trends in oral sex. I think that some women, I actually thought what I would have guessed is that women, younger women in their 20s, are more uncomfortable with oral sex maybe because they're not as comfortable with their bodies or I don't know. I just at least that's how I want to do it. No, they just just thought you that you just thought everybody was like you and you're obsessed with it. No. And I love it.
Starting point is 00:18:30 And you promote it daily. What Oral sex? Yeah. That's my favorite thing in the whole world. And I don't get it enough. Let me just say that. Okay. I agree with you.
Starting point is 00:18:38 Have you heard this though that certain women age? I mean, no, I haven't. I would assume it would be a byproduct of just culture and society and how people view their bodies. Right. But I haven't heard that in the 50s, I would actually think it was the opposite. Like you said. But I also was thinking that maybe something has to,
Starting point is 00:18:53 maybe some of it has to do with too, that women are obsessed with like being bare down there in their 20s now. And so it's this like, the hair made me feel dirty factor, which I think does affect some women in their views of oral sex. But that's an interesting trend though that the women in their 20s know hair. 30s maybe a little more.
Starting point is 00:19:14 I don't know. What do you think? I've heard that it's like different age groups have different hair. I asked a group of guys not too long ago. I was part of a workshop and we were allowed to ask them anything and I asked a group of guys not too long ago. I was part of a workshop and we were allowed to ask them anything and I asked, it was men of all age ranges, what do you think of pubic hair? And I was shocked how many of them older men did not want it. And I thought, for sure, this was like just a porn trend or a young trend that was going to go away.
Starting point is 00:19:41 But really, more and more people are preferred not to have it. The interesting thing right now, I'm growing out my armpit hair, it's pretty hairy. I can show it to the camera if you'd like. And I'm doing, cause I wanna do an article on people's feelings around, female armpit hair. And I'm getting a lot of varying reactions.
Starting point is 00:20:01 Some that think it's really sexy and others that are like, I want hair nowhere, like pubic hair has gone, armpit hair has been gone forever, like don't think about it. Right, right, you're like taking to the next level. So it's fascinating, I think it depends on the person and I think too that some women just don't like oral sex. I have read a lot of articles in the last few months
Starting point is 00:20:19 on women who are like oral sex, check please. Like, they just don't like it, so it depends on the person. That's so true. Going back to the hair real quick, I went to art school and for film making, but they made me take like all these dumb classes like sculpting.
Starting point is 00:20:34 And there was this girl in one of my classes, she was super hot, right? But we had to go down to the basement where there was like no air conditioning to go work on some project. So then she ended up wearing like a tank top and shorts and it was like full on arm hair and leg hair. And then after that I was done.
Starting point is 00:20:51 Like I wasn't I wasn't bored. Really? Yeah. I couldn't I couldn't embrace it after that. Right. It's like I don't know. Maybe because I didn't I didn't envision that's what I was going to know that I was shocked. Right. Exactly. What kind of reactions are you getting? Yeah. Because I didn't, I didn't envision that's what I was gonna say. No, you envision that. You envision that, right, exactly.
Starting point is 00:21:05 What kind of reactions are you getting? Yeah, well, like here, I've been shaving. It doesn't do it for me. Well, especially I live in Los Angeles. Right, that's just like... I go to the gym and I'm like, they're stretching and I'm going... I did, I actually started to embrace just being like,
Starting point is 00:21:19 let me see what people's faces look like. I know, when I was younger, I did it because I thought it was sexy and feminist and all of that. And now, the interesting thing is, it's been over two months I've grown my arm hair out. And it's not that long. Today was the first day I thought, okay, it's getting a little long. And like, you know, if the body with hooking up with men, I sometimes go, okay, I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:21:41 if you see this and it doesn't work for you. But I've had everything from someone going under my armpits to sniff them and like lick them and love them to other guys being like, I really thought you were cute and jeep and not hold eyes that I would be there. Wow, jeep, I see with like just like going from this to this. How long are you gonna grow up for? I need to write this piece soon, I think I'm done. That's so cool.
Starting point is 00:22:03 Oh my god. I'm not saying at the book party I wanted to wear a shawl because I was in a tank dress and I just didn't know how it would be perceived and I didn't want that to be what people focused on. That is so interesting, Jane. You know, you're doing this. What is Yardon Farr? Do you know? Well, I write for Cafe Mom, which is a blog
Starting point is 00:22:18 and so I'm going to do something there first and then I might take it even into a bigger space because the other part is men's hair too. There are places I did a blog post a few weeks ago on the store about where men can or should have hair and where they shouldn't and pulled lots of different people. And it was really fascinating to like some people are like, bring it on, you know, and other people were like, hair on the back, hair and patches, or hair, some people hate facial hair, some people hate hair on the toes, hair on the nipple.
Starting point is 00:22:47 I mean, anything, it triggers, it triggers. I mean men are definitely trimming more, right? Yeah, man's gaping. I think that's important. I think that's important. I love the back hair. I'm finding women in their 30s that I talk to, they're kind of having like a backlash on pubic hair
Starting point is 00:23:03 in the private area. Like, I don't want to shave anymore. I'm not, you know, oh, so they have bushes down there now. Yeah, but a couple of them, it hasn't worked out for them, so they went back. Oh, they're trying to rebel against it. It's a pain in the ass to get all the hairs ripped out. I don't blame them or get them. But what I do like about waxing is when you, because I do still wax my pubic hair,
Starting point is 00:23:26 like I like being trimmed down there. When you wax and continue to wax, it grows back thinner. So even though you have to deal with the pain, I brace myself every, you know, time I go, but it's nice to see it grows back slower. Yeah, that's true. It's been years now. So, okay, that I've been doing it and it is not as bad, but it does hurt. Okay. Let's do one more. And then we got to get into the book and hot sex.
Starting point is 00:23:49 All right. Over 200 things we can try. It's not hot drunk in sex though. What are you guys having a mention? What's the normal one place you can get it right now? Oh, Amazon is the best place to go to Amazon. It's available October 11th. Okay. And you go to Amazon and you put in hot sex or actually another hot sex book that was a long time ago. So, to put in Emily Jamie and then you can find it. Okay. And you go to Amazon and you put in hot sex. There's actually another hot sex book that was long time ago. So to put in Emily Jamie and then you can find it. Yes. Yes. It should be there right away. Okay. Or you can also come to our book parties next week. Oh my god. We've got two book parties in LA next week that you have to come to if you live in Los Angeles. You're your first workshop. I'm T. Okay. Jamie's like
Starting point is 00:24:20 an expert. We're going to get into your bio and all that who is to this wonderful woman next to me is. But I've never had had a workshop like I teach stuff on the show But Jamie and I are teaching a workshop. Which night is it we're teaching Wednesday night at the pleasure chest The pleasure chest. Yeah, which is a pleasure chest. Oh my god. I see that on reality shows all the time Do you do reality show junkie? I think the last time I saw the Kardashians the Kardashians? Yeah That's so funny. So we're teaching a workshop there called. Well, I think it was just their 40th anniversary. So I know that the last time this workshop was pitched,
Starting point is 00:24:52 it was something like 40 things you can try tonight. But it will just be hot sex. We have 200 tips and I think we'll get at least 40 of them in. Yes, exactly. It's going to be so fun. So all this information is on my Facebook page. Sex family, you can check that out. And that's it. So you're going to talk in front of people. Yeah, I's exactly. It's gonna be so fun. So that's and then all this information is on my Facebook page Sex Family you can check that out and Talk in front of people yeah, I can do that you do that well. Oh, thank you
Starting point is 00:25:10 You do that well you did that well last night and I will do a book party at Freddie and Eddie Which is another sex shop on the west side because you know in LA. It's a weird thing right East Sideers don't go west and west don't go east So we're gonna do that one and that I think it's gonna be outrageous I have a I'm trying to get a friend of mine who does this thing called the fourth wall project, different art that from all over the world where people can contribute to come in and put either a fish bowl down where people can put their sexy hot sex secrets. And then he draws them as the night goes on. Oh, that's so cool. They'll be an interactive
Starting point is 00:25:40 piece. I'm so excited to be in Venice. It's going to be in Venice. I'm watching Timberlake at Freddie and Eddie. Very exciting. I'm friends in Venice. I'm so excited to have been this it's going to be in Venice on Washington Boulevard at Freddie and Eddie. Very exciting. Lots of happening. I'll tell them to stop by. Yeah, do it do it do it. Okay, one more Emily. I love for play, but I need some help getting my hobby into it. I tell them it's so necessary for me. And if I'm going to orgasm during vaginal sex and his solution is to go down on me, which is amazing, I always come, but I miss my penis, penis induced orgasm. So a little variety and more for play is a must. So how do I make him a for play believer? Talking isn't
Starting point is 00:26:08 working and when I tell him what to do he does it totally half-ass. Please help. We need to get our sex group back. Side note, he just started a new job and he's working his ass off. He's also traveling a lot. It's been harder for him to find the time and energy to get it on. Side Emily. Another Emily. Okay, how do you would you talk to your partner like so she's talked to him, she's showed him a few times, he doesn't do anything. So what I think would be a great idea, Emily, is to actually instead of talking or telling him, just through whatever, this is what I would say.
Starting point is 00:26:42 Answer the door, naked in a robe, in a sexy outfit, whatever next time he comes home. And instead of being like, what would you like to do? Or this is what I'd like, push them on the bed and say, kiss my neck, kiss my ears, I want you to kiss me for five minutes. When you do that, I will give you a surprise, whatever that might be. Tell the masturbation sleeve, blow down. No, suck my toes, eat my pussy, whatever the next steps are. But I think she just do that I will give you a surprise whatever that might be. Tell the masturbation sleeve, blow down. No, suck my toes, eat my pussy, whatever the next steps are.
Starting point is 00:27:08 But I think she just has to do it like it's a game, but she's in charge and then make it be something he's not even thinking about and realizes that he's just a great idea. So the old one. But you just said. He's saying. And he doesn't love anything.
Starting point is 00:27:21 Wait, really? No, because remember I always say that I just want some, because it's always reversed, because you say, oh, I just want a man just to come in and grab me, and grab his knee and bow, blah, blah. What about the guy wants that sometimes? So you would love if you came home and you're roommate or someone getting some chick that you're seeing.
Starting point is 00:27:39 You get to her house, she invites you to have her for a special dinner or something. Yeah. Some drinks. Sorry, menace doesn't need any drinks. So the doorbell rings, whatever. You ring the doorbell, she opens up and she's wearing nothing.
Starting point is 00:27:50 It doesn't matter if she's wearing a rag. It doesn't matter if she's wearing a rag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bondage tape, whatever. I love Bondage tape. Bondage tape makes for great outfits. Oh, really? And you could wear a whole roll as a dress.
Starting point is 00:28:01 Okay, I love Bondage tape. It's like, you know, I've talked about it a lot. Okay, so that's a great suggestion. I love Von his shape. It's like, you know, I've talked about it a lot. Okay. So, that's a great suggestion. I've got nothing else to try that, Emily. Try that. Try naked and showin' them. And the other thing I could say too is you can send some email suggestions to him.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Tonight when you come home, here's what's on the menu. And then just list five different acts that you will, you know, gladly perform and just say, of course, this is after we get through the cocktail hour and that's whatever. I love it. You just have to play with it. That's how you jame your email, Jamie, and I'll do that. Okay, that's great advice.
Starting point is 00:28:33 I love that you're here answering these. You can follow me on Twitter at JAMY and I'll answer any questions. Absolutely, JAM, what's your website? Jamiwaxman.com. Okay, JAMY, you got to remember that. Okay, so Jamie, let me tell you a little about Jamie because she's a co-author of this book. She's an author of the award-winning book Getting Off a Woman's Guide to Masterbation. I love that book too. Oh my God. As well as women loving women appreciating and exploring the beauty of erotic female encounters. She's a three-part video series of adult education and erotic films titled Personal Touch, put out by Adam and Eve Pictures and her
Starting point is 00:29:07 latest educational film 101 positions for lovers. She's worked as a consultant. She's done a lot of stuff. She's got video, she's got advice. This is all this on your website, right? Is there anything else you want to say? Like do you teach workshops all over? I'm actually finishing up my PhD and I really think I'm gonna do some groundbreaking PhD and I really think I'm going to do some groundbreaking work on adult pleasure-based sex education, which is something that you do here every day on this podcast. So I'm really excited looking at the alternative sex education outlets that are out there and what is out there for adults. So I'm very excited about that. Good, D. And you're
Starting point is 00:29:41 in LA, but you travel everywhere and do your workshops, right? Yes, and I was in high demand and I was at the pleasure of just you for Playboy TV I worked on their last show sex stream makeover, so I did four episodes sex stream makeover I was really fun. What you have to make over who did you make over? The first couple this was probably the most challenging in terms of a couple They he wanted to be able to have anal sex with his wife not drunk and He said his penis was this thick around, basically. Okay. And he said, I want to put my penis in her gaping asshole.
Starting point is 00:30:12 So I knew where we had to start. It was language. I mean, who really wants to hear about their own gaping asshole? Right, exactly. That was like, honey, don't call my asshole gaping. I mean, it's not appealing to think about something like that. So, but yeah, it was... mean, it's not appealing to think about something like that. But yeah, it's- So you taught them the language to you? I taught them language, and we actually molded.
Starting point is 00:30:30 I suggested they do their own dildo so that they can then practice slowly. She could also warm up when he's not around. If this was something that she was willing to do, of course, that's the first key is that the other partner has to be willing to do it. Exactly. That's a great way to ease in Daniels X.
Starting point is 00:30:45 So we get a lot of questions about that as well. Like, how do I get my partner to do it to try it? To do like a clonowilly thing? Yeah, like do a clonowilly. And then this way you have the same size if it's something that you'll really into. And also breathing is breathing and lube are the two most important things for Daniels X. Right. Lots of lube.
Starting point is 00:31:01 Lots of lubes. Start small with finger too. Yeah, I got to get the playboy channel I don't even have it no I Have reality TV now. No, no, I actually years ago I set up I said at my buddy One of one of their hidden camera shows that they had and The whole setup was the story that I told my go yeah These radio listeners I'm flying them out to LA to go meet with some band, whatever, right?
Starting point is 00:31:28 And then last minute, I couldn't get on the plane, I had an emergency, so they were out there in my buddy, I said, dude, you got to do me favor, you got to pick up these chicks from the airport. And he goes, oh, okay. And I go, there's already going to be a car, so that's the car that had the hidden cameras, and it's already gonna be down there, drive them. He's like, all right, cool. And the chicks that you picked up, they just started in the back, they start taking off their clothes and like making them and getting crazy. But my vagina of a friend wouldn't sign off on it
Starting point is 00:31:57 because he was just, he was really serious with the girl at the time. Ah man. See guys, don't come on. Don't get serious with anyone. That's just my opinion. Okay, let's get into the book. Okay. Hot sex. Hot sex is our new book, which you can buy in stores October 11th and you can order on Amazon pre-order on Amazon today. Now is it 200 pages or is it 200? No, it's not. It's more than 200 pages like that. More than 200 pages. It's beautiful. Yeah, let's talk about those pictures
Starting point is 00:32:25 Yeah, okay, this illustrator bedroom in watch I can't pronounce the last name He really did an amazing job Illustrations and I love waking life and scanner darkly the all the rotoscoping images from those movies Yes, and this book is those movies without the shaky. I don't like the shaky parts of the rights. Right. I mean, they are beautiful illustrations and they're not like, they're not going to freak you out. They're going to actually like turn you on, I think, and you'll be happy about it. So, um, yes, they were real people. I get that question a while. Yeah. These were real people having sex that we had illustrated. And the book is broken into different sections, tease, play, and twine, and explore.
Starting point is 00:33:05 So which we start with, Jamie, how do we even, we should go. I think that, yeah, I mean, go, you can even pick a page, you can see age, anything. I think a page under T's, okay. I love that. No, I love that. T's fun, sex is fun.
Starting point is 00:33:16 You really want to choose the skin, something. Okay, let's get into the back. Oh, let's see, this is how guys are. Yeah, but no, we're talking about the time. Oh, you're talking talk about teas all the time Being teased here's the thing men are like micro microwaves women are like ovens It takes us a lot warmer About society and that's why there's a wars out there
Starting point is 00:33:45 Okay, so I like I like this page and it reminds me of we can go society and that's why there's wars out there. It's so true. Okay. So I like this page and it reminds me of that we can go to that page. Okay. All tied up. This is about bondage. Am I hitting the camera? No, just keep it still and then you can see it. So all about bondage.
Starting point is 00:33:59 Look at the beautiful photographs. Illustrations. Okay. So we talk about cuffs. Bondage cuffs are quick and easy way to restrain your partner, no special nuts required. Yeah, and there are a great way to explore, I think it's a really cuffs are a great initial introduction to the bondage domination submission lifestyle-y type of
Starting point is 00:34:20 play. Right. It's you're interested even just a little, a pair of cuffs are great. I would be warned to not get cuffs that are just metal because they are, can hurt someone's wrists and it's a little scary at first to have cuffs with keys and to think you can't get out if you need to. Okay. So Velcro is a great alternative for a cuff or you can make cuffs from ties or scarves or whatever. Exactly. That's what I did when I first were starting out. And then we've got the hand cuffs are met on the metal gloves, but the fluffy hands. They have the fur on them. The fur on them. And then ribbons. Ribbons are great for simple simple bondage. Do you think? And bondage chains. Wedding rings are the worst cuffs out there?
Starting point is 00:34:58 That's funny, Mammoth. Okay. It's going on the relationship. So, oh, serious sensations. This is a woman with her nose. Oh, you eat women like this where they get off on the nipples. I don't hate them. I just, I, I, I women who can orgasm through their nipples. I've just, I'm like, are you're nipples sensitive?
Starting point is 00:35:14 Yeah, but I'm never an orgasm through them, and I wish I could. Have you? You mine aren't very sensitive, so I recently started to like be like, damn, why? I need to explore this. And I've noticed actually that my right nipple is more sensitive than my left.
Starting point is 00:35:26 I still never have an orgasm through them most likely, but I like once I'm aroused for people to play with my nipple. Right, me too. But beforehand, not so much. I'm sure. Don't you find that guys, or whoever you're with, okay, man, if you're with men, that they don't... They don't like... I think that men love breasts, maybe they're just the guys worth, but they don't know how to touch on that much. And we talk about that a lot.
Starting point is 00:35:47 Yeah, can you explain that? How to touch the breasts? What would be like the best way to start a starter? A starter. A starter, start a hair for breasts. Start handling with your hands. Like, you don't have to touch your own nipples, but like with your hand, like how?
Starting point is 00:35:58 Like lightly like cup them with your full hand. With your no, like around the, like the bottom of them, I would like lightly trace your fingers maybe around. In the middle of sex, are am I just making knowledge? For a play, or sex, it's amazing. But if you're starting out, it's for a play. I would just start really slow, because you never know some women are really sensitive
Starting point is 00:36:15 on their breasts, some women like it really hard. Like here we have a picture of a woman with nipple clamps. All right. You can use closed pins too. Yeah, and I like to either, I love being, like my boobs being sucked on, but otherwise like just a light brushing back and forth like this. So it's a gentle tease.
Starting point is 00:36:30 With the hand, with the hand. With the hand. Hand or your mouth. Yeah. Feathers. Weeners. Guys are really into that. Into the weeners.
Starting point is 00:36:40 You want to rub your weeners over the rest of your ears. Yeah, they really like it, but like rubbing them on breasts. That would feel good. Does it feel good or not? Yeah, they really like it, but like rubbing them on breasts. That would feel good. Does it feel good or not? Yeah, it's quite enough. You can be honest. It was a pen of where it was. It was not good.
Starting point is 00:36:51 You could slap your penis on my boob if I'm hot and bothered and red. I think it's fun. I like silly things during so. Yeah. Me too. So yeah, I mean, you could start softly. Oh, we start soft and slowly.
Starting point is 00:37:02 And yeah, brush your hands. And then you could trace her nipples with your finger. You could lick your finger and go around her nipple and blow on it. You can pinch them with your hands. You can pinch them sometimes but start pinching slowly. Yeah, I want to know what's the most extreme, from the beginning to the extreme. Like what not to do.
Starting point is 00:37:21 What not to do is twist them. Like don't hold on to them and then twist them. Like a titty twist. No twist to see. Yeah not to do is twist them. Like, don't hold onto them and then twist them. Like a titty twist. No twist to see. Yeah, guys don't know that, not to twist. They don't. No. I mean, someone might like it.
Starting point is 00:37:32 I don't want to ever say never. There's no never, because there's some women are going, what the hell? I love when you twist my breasts. But that's, I would say, I wouldn't start with that. Okay. I wouldn't start with the twisting of the breasts. What else is a no-no breast?
Starting point is 00:37:40 I actually wouldn't even start with, for me, I wouldn't start with the breasts. Like, go there again. Like, once you started kissing But if you go right there and go that's another no no Yes, and grow the boob Don't grab the boob right now with the girl. I never even the first session and making out with a girl I'm not gonna grab her breasts. No, no way. Okay, how was it she's like taking off her clothes then? Yeah, of course
Starting point is 00:38:01 But I'm even then I'm not even going to be like all about filling up on the breasts. I'll wait till another. I feel like a lot of guys. Because I want to be respectful. Honestly, I'm not very respectful when I talk on the show at all because you know, I'm just being funny, but honestly like if it's a girl that I'm really into, like I'm not going to be like fondling. So what should menist do the second time he's with her and he wants to touch her breasts for the first time? So she takes her shirt off
Starting point is 00:38:27 And you're wondering how to touch them. I wouldn't even start over the shirt, right? Oh, that's hot over the shirt. Take her bra, even or if she has a rough or like and it feels amazing With the material over your breasts your nipples can feel really good You'll feel like you're 14 if you're trying to go under the shirt and Grab the breath. Yeah, the bases, I love that. I do too, it's so fun. So you endorse that as a 30-year-old man? First base second base third.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Yeah, totally. No, as a 30-year-old man, to go under and just touch the breast while I'm working on it. Totally, see, this is the problem with what happens as we get older. We think that the sex contact I had, the sexual touch I had in high school was some of the best I had. Because we anticipated, we didn't go fast.
Starting point is 00:39:12 And then all of a sudden we got laid and now we're like, oh, every time, right away, no, no, slow, do that. Slow down. She would love you for it. Like I remember the first time I almost had an orgasm but I didn't, but the first time I was super turned on by a guy I was in high school and I was like, you know 17 years old and I remember like my parents were upstairs And we were like fooling around in the living room downstairs
Starting point is 00:39:35 You know you do that and living room downstairs and he like took my pants off And I still remember I was doing these pink satin panties or something and he was just brushing me like lightly over the panties I was so. Because of son. That's why. Doesn't matter what the hell it was. And it was slow and he wasn't trying to get in them at first, but he was just like touching it. And I was so turned on.
Starting point is 00:39:53 It's like those tender moments of youth. If it meant could just slow everything down. Yeah, if you put over the panties, she will like be screaming for you to get in there. Yeah, most men right. The thing is when you get older as a guy, you think your erection is not gonna come back. Stop thinking about your erection. Yeah, see that's a problem.
Starting point is 00:40:13 See, menist doesn't, menist. I'm making statements, you think that like I'm talking about myself. No, this is good, I'm saying I'm saying a lot of men, okay, right. That touching your breath and if you go slow, that he'll lose his erection, but a lot of guys get turned on by doing these things
Starting point is 00:40:26 because you're gonna see knee turned on by doing this stuff. And then also, I'm gonna tell you this. It's reciprocal. If it keeps on going slower, and I'm just stating what I know as fact with other people that I've talked to, okay? Got it.
Starting point is 00:40:39 I'm not talking for all men or anything like that. Right, yeah, for some reason. But, if you do spend a lot of time teasing or making out, which I do endorse making out the teasing thing I think is kind of dumb, but I'll do it to get laid. And the weiner, if it keeps on going up and down, up and down, by the time you have sex, he's going to be a minute man, you know? Yeah, but honey, a lot of men, their weed doesn't go down because they're so turned on
Starting point is 00:41:07 because you're teasing me and I'm so turned on that you're gonna be turned on and you won't lose your erection. Because you know, you've said this before, guys, they get aroused in what, one, two, three. Yeah. That's it. Three seconds, they're aroused.
Starting point is 00:41:20 And so they have to stay aroused that entire time. And you guys are like, I need you to tease me for this amount of time and by that time I'm gonna be so aroused by the time I actually Get my weener into the vagina, right? I like using baby terms, right? It's it's it's gonna be over It's gonna be like I would be like to be honest, too because we're getting mature ejaculators one of the big Recommendations is to touch and touch and touch and get the erection and
Starting point is 00:41:48 as soon as you have the erection to let go and let it go down and then build it back up again to train yourself to not come so quickly. So it could go either way by having losing the erection and having to build it back up. But I think one of your big fears about losing the erection, if you just let go, if you got an erection in the first place because you're with somebody and you want it to be there with them, even if it goes down because you're touching her nipples and that's not as arousing to you, if for some reason it isn't,
Starting point is 00:42:13 then it will come back when you get into something else that works really well for you. So, I'll come back. And I tell guys that are pretty mature ejaculators. They just need to masturbate before they go out on a date. That's something from about Mary, you know? Something more than a movie is about- Something about Mary.
Starting point is 00:42:31 Something about Mary. They do the whole process, it works. It does work. It does work. It makes you relax before because you're just too excited. Right. Pre-gaming is what we call it. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:42:43 Okay, so, oh, this is, I love the dripping it. Exactly. Okay, so this I love the dripping the hot candle. Okay, explain this to me. The hot candle wax? Yeah, I want to know, like, does it? There's that one candle that you really like that you always talk about. Jimmy Jane. Oh, those are the figures, my favorite. Oh my god. Jimmy Jane, Jimmy Jane.com makes the most amazing candles that you've seen. How do you explain it? I love that your hair is in the sawage candles. They're soy based, so they burn it a little over flame. You don't want to use a regular candle.
Starting point is 00:43:14 These are special massage candles. These are massage candles, so the actual wax turns into a massage oil. You can get whatever scent you want. I have experimented by like throwing it on myself, dripping it on myself just to feel the temperature. It doesn't get that hot that it's scary. Of course, the higher up you hold the candle, the less heat they'll be, the lower down you pour
Starting point is 00:43:37 the candle, the more heat they'll be because of how quick it takes to hit the body. And then after you get the massage oil candle on your body, you use it to massage the body. Yeah, it's amazing. And the heat, it after you get the massage oil candle on your body you use it to massage the body. Yeah, it's amazing and the heat it feels good the heat and then the candle it's all sexy and hot and it smells really good if you can run together do like some wrestling moves. Yeah, where's the best place to uh drip the candle wax? I think starting on a woman's body. On a woman's body? Oh wow, I mean you could drip it and start on her back but you could flip
Starting point is 00:44:04 her over you could drip on her breasts And then massage her breasts Do that with the boobies. Do I'm gonna get you? Can you guys staring at me like you're suggesting for me to do this? No, I'm just saying like like oh you should really do that I'm not gonna go do that Because it's too messy. I don't like that. I got it again I have to put like a tarp down or something like something That's not that it's too messy. It's not a few drip it in a very concentrated area and like the Massage I want the lips and things that are the sensitive skin
Starting point is 00:44:38 I don't like do it in the shower first just did like so I can wash it off immediately No, we won't we're gonna shower But have you ever gotten a massage from someone or given someone a massage? No, I don't like massages. I need, I need like a chiropractor. Okay. This is not rough enough. I like it really rough. Like if somebody's like touching my body. Do you like sex rough? Yeah. No, both ways. It doesn't matter. But when you touch a partner, do you touch rough? No. It only if that's what they want, you know, that you want to be touched rough No, not like no, not sexually. I'm just talking because you guys are talking about misogies
Starting point is 00:45:14 Right, like I don't like when somebody's like trying to give me a massage and then they're just like barely like you know Touching me because I need I need my back cracked. I like when women stand on my back that feels so good. Well, that very like, yeah, no, that's good, but that very light touch can be really annoying. There's an amazing sex educator named Barbara Corellis who does a workshop called Urban Tantra. And she talks about the resilient edge of resistance, like the Pillsbury Doidboy,
Starting point is 00:45:39 where you push in his belly and it pushes in and pops back out. Like you wanna find that edge on people. When people are very hesitant in their touch, it's very disordered. You just don't feel like they're there or into a afraid of something. But we're saying, go slow,
Starting point is 00:45:53 but then we're saying, don't be hesitant. Well, don't be hesitant to use touch to be confident in what you're doing, but do it slowly. Right. What's the process that you like? For touch or for intercourse? Well, it's funny. I like to switch things up.
Starting point is 00:46:08 My system is, I love a person who makes out, but honestly, I've met a lot of men in my last few years of being more single that don't really like to kiss. Yeah, during sex or just in general. In general. I know. I think it's like too intimate, too much. Like, I have had, you know, so, and that really, that's gonna turn me on first. And then from there, I like a guy who initially will go down on me first.
Starting point is 00:46:30 Will not be like waiting for me to go down on him. We'll be like, I love this much, much, much, much, whatever. And I find that those guys are also fewer and far between. Don't you find, okay, here's my theory that there are men who love the vagina and men who don't love the vagina, and you just can't get
Starting point is 00:46:45 And the ones who don't like for whatever reason they they they're never gonna come around and then there's the guys We're like I love the smell the taste. Did you get wax like they notice everything? Yeah, they get into the whole vagina and those are my guys But I when I ate my single times the last few years like that I've been with several men they There was a series that were like not into the vagina I was like, it's something wrong with my vagina, but clearly not because then I met some
Starting point is 00:47:07 who are. And I like those guys. Yeah, no, I know. Are those guys into the women that we talked about earlier who don't like girl sex? That's we should just match those people up. And I have girlfriends who don't like to go down on guys too. Right. Wow, they should just be with other people who don't like oral as well. Exactly. Those people should stick together. But then I like to go and have sex in whatever positions. And then I like to go back to having oral sex again, or making out or masturbating, or honestly, my big problem because I talk a lot is sometimes I'll just stop and talk,
Starting point is 00:47:39 you know, in the middle like, if I'm having fun, that is a lie. I'm like, that's too. I'm like, that's too man's nightmare right there. That is the biggest this. I'm having fun. That is so hard. I'm having fun. That is so hard. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun.
Starting point is 00:47:49 I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun.
Starting point is 00:47:57 I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I'm having fun. I talk to you right now. Menace doesn't like women who talk.
Starting point is 00:48:06 Maybe they need to get into ballgags. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. There's a picture. There is a picture. Let me tell you something though about the kissing. Some girls, I just don't feel a connection on the kissing level. We have great sex.
Starting point is 00:48:25 It's just kissing is just not that great. There's someone that I just love kissing. Maybe the sex is not even that great with that person. We just love making out with them. I love making out with them. I kind of like those people better, even though we don't have a great sex. Because you're a romantic. Kissing is good.
Starting point is 00:48:39 I know. I love the kissing too, and you can't kiss enough. I think if you have good kissing with someone that you will have good sex, if you keep working on it, most of the time, but you're right, not always. I've had relationships where the sex was better or the kissing was better, but not. Some, I like the ones that are fairly balanced. Yeah, I just, so that's what I'm just saying
Starting point is 00:48:57 like sometimes that's my, you just don't have that kissing connection, that's why guys that I'm making out with you. But don't you think that if you kiss some, what do you think, what's your theory, J. Man kissing? Can you teach someone to be a better kisser? I know there are books out there that say you can. So yes, I do believe you can teach someone to be a better kisser, but I also believe that you have to have an initial chemistry around
Starting point is 00:49:17 kissing to make that person a better kisser for you. If like the guy, I mean, I've been with men where I've been like, oh, that was bad. And I don't think no matter what I do, that they're going to be a good kisser for me. Right. But I think they could be a good kisser for someone else. Yeah, totally. There's totally, there's enough kissing to go around. There's enough people doing like oral sex.
Starting point is 00:49:37 So we're going to match that together. Forget all these dating sites. They like do like hiking, do like swimming. It's like, just do like oral sex. Yeah, that's a great question that should be on dating sites should be on dating sites. No one on the risk a air questions Okay, how about this page? You're speaking for speaking kissing triple your fun. It's a threesome page Okay, have you had three sons? I have have you of course It's much easier for women to get laid and it's easier for guys to get married
Starting point is 00:50:06 True It's much easier for women to get laid and it's easier for guys to get married. Oh my God. Oh. True. It is true. It really is. She's speaking so much truth today. Do you love Jamie Waxman? Or what? I do.
Starting point is 00:50:14 The golden rule of any threesome is to play fair to make sure that no one feels overwhelmed or left out. Start slowly with lots of talk and making out so everyone has a chance to get comfort with one another. The man to take his leave from his partner, no pressing, pressing for anything she's not comfortable with. That's huge with three sums. Like a lot of dudes want a three sum and they have a fantasy about her, women too, but
Starting point is 00:50:32 like let her take the leave. Yeah. Like let her direct, like I have the rules set out beforehand. Like, no. No, how far you're going to go if the person can sleep over afterwards or not. If you're the one in the relationship, I really think that needs to be discussed beforehand. I had three some ones with a boyfriend who brought him one of my girlfriends without asking me.
Starting point is 00:50:52 And I went with it for a little while, although I wasn't extremely attracted to her. I was like, yeah, whatever, it's awesome. She's one of my best friends. Then she was kissing me, got gum in my hair, I got very upset. She was chewing gum. We were drinking.
Starting point is 00:51:07 And then it was many years ago, but then I went in the bathroom to remove the gum from my hair. And I thought, I'd come back out and they'd be sitting there waiting for me. He was going down on her when I came back out in the middle of that. I just said, this has to stop right now. I'm sorry. My friend, you need to go home and my boyfriend, you and I, we need to talk. And he was so upset with me after like, I can't
Starting point is 00:51:30 believe you broke up that threesome. And I said, I can't believe I let you have it threesome without talking with me. Exactly. You shut up. But it was, it was devastating. And it taught me a lot about threesome etiquette. There is threesome etiquette. He can't just bring, and it's just you wanted your friends.. Yeah, you guys break up soon after You know, yeah, pretty much that was for me the end of it I have a switch I don't know if you're the same way, but I can really like somebody and then something just happens They do this one thing and it's like the light just went off and I can't flip it no matter how much
Starting point is 00:51:59 I still adore them and and friends with them The sex park there's only women like that where it's just automatically, ah, yeah, not interested in you at all. And the guy can never redeem himself. Nope. The man's not bad. You can't. It's crazy.
Starting point is 00:52:14 I didn't murder ahead. I didn't murder anybody. I didn't murder anybody. I didn't murder anybody. I didn't murder anybody. I didn't murder anybody. I didn't murder anybody. I didn't murder anybody.
Starting point is 00:52:22 I didn't murder anybody. I didn't murder anybody. I didn't murder anybody. I didn't murder anybody. I didn't murder anybody. I didn't murder anybody. I didn't murder anybody. Okay, what else do you want to show? We got like a few minutes left. So I, well, first of all, again, like the, there's that picture in the shower. That I, I think it's page 56 because I was looking at it last night. It inspires me on two levels. One, first of all, it was the hardest picture
Starting point is 00:52:35 for Benjamin to draw if I remember correctly because he couldn't get the water right at first. And I love, I love how much it's, you know, I love that he did and how great it looks. But the other thing was, I was never a huge fan of shower sex like I liked it If we were gonna try something very messy or you know if or whatever, but I started to really like it in the bathtub shower Where you can use the bathtub ledges? Oh, I just had it. I think it's right there. It is okay. This is an awesome photo. She's not gonna bang her head, she's safe, everything's fine.
Starting point is 00:53:07 I was doing that in a girl past out. Like just like that. Yeah. Oh well, I think to plant, if it's hot water, you have to be careful. Yeah. If there's alcohol involved, you have to be careful. There was no alcohol, but it was in like Palm Springs, super hot hot water.
Starting point is 00:53:23 And I thought she was joking and And she just like fainted. And I thought I killed the bitch, killed the lady, killed the lady. And then you ran. And I ran. Well, I slapped her around a little bit. Saw her eyes start opening and then I ran naked to Palm Springs. No, I'm just kidding. But yeah, I endorse shower sex, though.
Starting point is 00:53:40 I don't like it a lot. I think it's great. And I think also for couples who have kids at home or something. Exactly. And you need a place that you feel like there's water running. You can be, you know, you have some privacy for a little bit and it's all cleaned up for you afterwards. Shower sex is a great place. I love shower sex. I do. It's fun. It's super fun. From behind, there's lots you can do. And there's a lot of shower sex. Hotel shower sex. There's a lot of loob is good to use in the shower. Let's say that. Let's talk about loobs in the
Starting point is 00:54:02 shower. Okay, silicone loob is the best to use in the show. What do you think about silicone versus water-based lobes? Well, I like, I was a huge fan of silicone for most of my, for a lot of my life, I've liked silicone the best, but honestly, I've become a little more of an organic girl. I'm very big into like the aloeco dabras and the slickwoods right now. Slippwood and aloeco dabra, okay, the liquid lobes. But if I was going to be playing in the water at all,
Starting point is 00:54:25 I would be using a silicone lube because silicone is waterproof and it needs soap and water to come off of the objects that it's on. So it's great for slippery shower sex. Okay, great. It's cool. Thanks, Jamie. Okay, so it was awesome writing this book for you. It was so much fun. I love it. We are very similar in a lot of ways. I mean, we are, we come from different, oh my god, by the way, I think I know someone that went to high school with you. I'll tell you. I feel like what's so nice is that we come from similar yet different backgrounds. This book gives us a chance to talk to so
Starting point is 00:54:58 many people about sex. As you can hear today, we're just these two normal girls. Everyone's a sex expert in my opinion in the sense that they have sex. They know what they like exactly But we you're an expert on yourself. I'm happy to talk to as many people in the world You want to talk that? Exactly. Love it and Jamie's all over so you can find her at give it your website again Jamieuxman.com and on Twitter at JAMY Okay, great. Thanks Jamie and the book is hot sex over 200 things you can try tonight You can get it on Amazon right now Period, it comes out October 11th. Happy free Friday everyone. Happy weekend. Thanks everyone for listening to
Starting point is 00:55:31 Sec what you can say. Oh, it's gonna say we got to give a shout out to Stitcher. Stitcher is an app that you can download for your phone. It's free. You can stream the podcast whenever you want. This type in STITCHER. Awesome. And then once you download it, type in Sex with Emily. And the show is on demand whenever you want it. There you have it. Love it.
Starting point is 00:55:52 OK, thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. It was a good for you. Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com.

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