Sex With Emily - Episode 318 - Lustless Lover
Episode Date: October 20, 2011The elderly are getting sexy on tv, sex is connected to memory loss, and can you spot a creepy move? Emily’s trick for making your boobs looks bigger, complimenting women and is your yoga instructor... easy? For asexual awareness day, Emily talks about your sexual desire. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, Emily. You got a boyfriend?
Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.
The girls got a hair standard. Oh my!
The women know about shrinkage.
Isn't it common, Emily? What do you mean, like, laundry? It's shrinks.
Can we not talk about sex so much?
Are you kidding me?
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not. I'm not. think she kinda kids. The girls gotta understand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Is it like common knowledge?
What do you mean like laundry?
It shrinks.
Can we not talk about sex so much?
Are you kidding me?
Oh my god.
I'm so, so, so.
Being bad feels pretty good.
You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.
You're listening to Sex with Emily.
We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between for more information
go to sexwithfamily.com.
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So we appreciate when you go there.
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You rock, get more and more members every day.
You get four shows a week.
You get all your sex questions answered right away.
You get free gifts, prizes, and you get to see us every day, which is awesome. So today's show, we're gonna be talking about a lot of things.
Are you a lustless lover?
Maybe you're asexual.
Do you know there's a whole asexual,
the next week is asexual awareness week.
There's a whole sect of people,
they say it's 1% of the population
that actually are asexual
and don't fail anything sexual.
At all.
Moracy claims to be asexual.
Yeah, we have a list of people who are famously asexual.
Really?
Yeah, he does.
Okay.
Even though this guy can get laid by anybody on the planet.
Right, he could, but he doesn't want to.
No.
He doesn't feel it in his loins, like don't want to bang you.
Yeah, but my friends that are gay, they say that people that claim to be asexual are
just really gay and they just don't want to say it.
No, okay, but we can ask for that. So we have a, we have an expert calling in. We're going to be calling her like in a little bit and she's going to be a sexual or just really gay and they just don't want to say it. No, okay, we can ask for that.
So we have an expert calling in.
We're going to be calling her like in a little bit and she's going to be talking about
that.
We're asking her to read some of her work.
She is.
She's going to tell her that she's gay.
You can totally tell her she's gay.
You can be like, are you sure you're not gay?
No, you're just gay.
Just a minute.
You're lesbian, exactly.
And so then you can also call us anytime and leave us a message on our voice mail 415992-7392.
Questions, comments, concerns, anything. We will answer them during the show. And it'll be super fun.
You'll love to hear that, right, menace?
I will.
And we have a new poll that's up on our site.
Really, really, really, which like you go there and vote on it.
Where is your favorite place to have a quickie?
In an alleyway, an elevator, an airplane, a car, or a bathroom.
But I'm sure that really good one that I came up with.
I know what was a good one.
I told you I forgot what it was, but it was good.
And you guy, I told you I said, oh, yeah, we should add that.
Yeah.
No, what was it? Oh, the new poll.
You can't put the new poll next You're looking at what the new poll.
Next week, we do two polls a week.
Okay.
You can't just draft polls on the fly.
We already have a poll.
We'll do it next week for sure.
Yeah, but mine was really good.
Yours was really good, and I will give you credit for that.
We'll do it next week.
Okay.
For sure.
And then we got your emails and some topics include on the emails that you wrote to feedback
as sexwithemily.com.
Coming across as creepy.
High school sweethearts, desensitizing your clitoris, female libido enhancements. and we're going to be a great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great And I think I did that today. You creeped someone out? Yeah, I think I creeped somebody out because this is deal.
I haven't really talked about this too much,
but there was this girl that left Italy that I was really into.
And so for like, she's been in Italy for like a month, okay?
And we talk online, but the conversations are like,
oh, so how's the weather, how's the food?
It's been all like boring talk.
I just don't really know how to really get into it with her.
Okay. And then today we were going over, we're talking about something like ban, something stupid,
like I'm not even interested in on email. On email. And then I go, so when are you coming back so
we can make out? Yeah. Right. So I threw it out there. Good for you, honey. That's exactly what you gotta do.
Because we've had prior conversations
like that sort of just like one time.
So I just kind of threw it out there, right?
And then she put, OMG, I gotta go to yoga.
I'll be right back.
Now, I don't know.
Are you freaked out?
I'm like, I'm freaked out because I see her back online
and she hasn't talked to me
So I have you guys made out previously. Yeah, we've made out previously. So then what's out of a deal?
You know, I think I'm a creep you're not a creep She knew you guys have already made out before no, I'm a creep now that I just randomly said let's make out
I think that's hot that you said that you didn't want to you think that's hot
Well, you know the girl well enough how many times we made out with her, obviously. I've had sex with her. You don't just
make out. You have sex. So you boned her when? How long? I don't know anything about this
girl because you don't tell me anything lately. So when did you have sex with the first time?
I would say maybe a month and a half ago. Okay. And then it's been flirty,
flirty, firty ever since, but she's in Italy. So finally, it's in Italy. It's like
how's the weather? Well, I saw some Picasso's or whatever and then it's boring. So threw out let's make out when we make out that's the way saying I miss you. That's cute
I would love that
Yeah, this guy in New York that's coming to this party. I'm doing next week in New York just texted me
Because I'm having this big party at the Museum of Sex and he said
He said I said you come I invited on my New York friends
He's like yes, and then I'm gonna take you home after because we've hooked up before. That's a guy. That's a creep.
But I'm not going to go home with him, but I thought it was cute.
I was like, that's so funny that he wants to take me home after, but he's not going to,
but what I, he's not a creep than you're a creep.
He's a creep. Yeah, I'm a creep.
They're not a creep. How do you just grow in those?
You, she's been emailing you the whole time.
Tell me what this guy's like. Tell me, is he like the suit wearing cheeseball in New Yorker?
No. No, yeah.
Yeah, he is.
See that?
He's hair is like back, but he doesn't wear suits all the time and he's a little cheesy,
but no, he's an old friend of mine and he's kidding and we've never hooked up.
Maybe we made out, but made out once.
We didn't have sex.
He's never touched my boobs if you want another truth.
Nothing like that, no boob touching, but he was like, oh good, and then I'll take
you home.
Flirty, ha ha ha.
So you're like flirting with her her I wouldn't trip on it not
creepy I would tell you if you were creepy that was not creepy instance
yeah but you like that kind of attention I don't know if that girl likes that
kind of you know it's actually third what do you think yeah but I I've never
talked like dirty talking that's not even dirty
no I think I think you do the right thing in fact it was time she's been at
a leaf for a month it's time to fill some of that in there I don't know I think it was a bad move I think you're fine I think you do the right thing. In fact, it was time. She's been at least for a month. It's time to fill us up in there.
I don't know.
I think it was a bad move.
I think you're fine.
I think you will make out.
Not only will you make out with her,
she might even suck your penis when she gets back in town
because of that.
It gets women want to get that,
even if it doesn't mean, like, I know very few women
who are going to feel offended by you making a comment
that you want to make out with her.
Especially if you've already made out with her.
If you've never made out with her,
that would be the different story.
Think you're totally fine, okay?
I think I'm screwed, but go ahead.
No, don't stress on it.
I think that's, I'm proud of you
from moving forward.
Okay, so we also have some giveaways I need to mention.
Why does your sex life need improvement?
Tell me why and you can get a copy
of my new book called Hot Sex over 200 Things You Can Try
to Night.
We're gonna pick the winners next week and you just need to email me at Feedback at Sex with
Lime.com. We've gotten some great responses and I want to give them to everybody I do, but
we're giving out three copies, three to five copies. And we just need to know why you think
you deserve this book. Feedback at Sex with Lime.com. The book Hot Sex, it's awesome.
We love the
illustrations. We love a whole thing. Okay, so also we can get into some sex in the news.
Did you say anything else you wanted to say? Yeah, actually I was walking on the way here.
I had some sex scene in the news. Okay.
She's in the news. Go.
Major turn off on the way here.
Right? That's a quickly, yeah.
This stupid wacky San Francisco. it's about this chick, right?
Who's halfway decent looking?
She's all about cooking with insects.
Like that's a total.
And eating them and cooking them.
Yeah, like, oh, this is a new hot trendy thing.
San Francisco is helping pioneer and you-
It sounds like-
It's like a stupid crap that your friends would be into.
Why?
Because my friends drink wine and go to restaurants
take reservations.
Why would they be eating bucks?
Because it's so trendy and hip right now. I didn't even know about
this. That's weird. Women bite scorpion. So what is has a man never had anything that
he's eaten and then turned you off like immediately? Because I've had that happen with me with
me. You had a woman eat something that turned you off? What she like a lizard or something?
A chicken? No, they have a, a snake. No, they have a, this thing called bullet,
and it's like a halfway, it's like embryo,
something.
And, uh, I was immediately turned off
when I saw a girl eat that.
I was like, I never want to have sex with that girl ever.
God, you're so black and white.
Why?
What if she's your dream girl, but she eats weird foods?
Then she's not my dream girl.
Yeah, she would be.
That's where the insect thing,
I've heard a little bit about that.
I don't really get it.
I don't want to eat insects,
but I don't understand the whole concept behind it either.
I don't think it's sexy at all.
It's not hot eating it's gonna be.
But I could do some people thinking
that's kind of cool.
Don't they do it in like those reality shows?
Like people are eating bugs and stuff.
Well, like on fear factor and stuff like that.
Yeah, yeah, don't they like crazy bugs and stuff?
I have this thing called, it's called chocolate blood, right?
It's not really blood, but it's like this meat
that's like disgusting and I fainted.
Like I seriously fainted.
Why did you eat that?
It was part of a radio show I think.
I had to do.
I've eaten snake.
I had snake and Vietnam.
Why?
Because I was there.
I'm like, when in Vietnam, eat snake like everyone else.
And then I ate pigeon head when I was in China.
You pick it up at a little beak.
You eat the little beak and then you eat the little head.
It's kind of sad.
It was good.
It was crunchy.
It was fried and crunchy.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sex and the news.
UK Morning Show host, Philip Schofield warns as this morning the talk show shocks angry viewers
with vibrators and elderly sex position demo.
So apparently this host in the UK, he did a talk show, it's a morning show.
So the kids are watching and he said sex birds talk libido and it was a segment telling
young viewers you need to avert your eyes right now.
So they had people, they had the latest vibrator technology
and despite saying little eyes need to invert
to avert their eyes
they included the years of a rabbit a glow in the dark bullet vibrator and a
remote controlled vibrator
on the morning show but the most disturbing part
was they use an elderly couple dressed in pajamas and the summer great and
bed to demonstrate and bad
so they can't really see their grandparents have sex during a morning show,
it's not going to go well.
There's so far advanced in.
I know, you think this wouldn't be in the UK
that you can see us like, oh my god,
they showed half a nipple maybe, and then we'd freak out.
But in the UK, they're like, what apps?
They have naked women in the normal newspaper.
Like they call it like page eight or something like that. Exactly.
Yeah.
So, whatever, I guess television is different.
41,000, what it cost to go on a date with Scarlett Johansson?
It would cost $41,000.
Apparently, there's a British charity and they didn't auction in support of the foundation
break through breast cancer.
One of the many intriguing packages of for fraction was to dinner date with a lovely
and voluptuous scarlet Johansson.
Apparently three people won, two people won,
so it's gonna be a threesome.
And it was combined 41,000, and they tend to,
they're all gonna get to go on a date with scarlet.
How much do you think the average day cost
to go out with you?
To go out with me?
An average, the cost of a date.
And don't say, oh, we can go walk on the beach
and some stupid crap.
I'm totally fine with walking on the beach.
No, no, no, come on.
Go into the park with my dog.
You're talking my restaurants and me out.
Don't give me life.
I don't know.
I literally think it depends.
It's you're saying if I go to a dinner.
If I'm going out with you.
A couple hundred dollars a dinner.
Hundred and something at dinner.
I'm paying 100 something dollars to go out with you.
Yeah. Honey, we're not going out of garden. I'm paying a hundred something dollars to go out with you. Yeah.
Honey, we're not going to love Garden.
I'm getting late after.
Yeah.
Every time.
And it's funny that my interns read this,
they're like, we should auction off a date with you.
We could do auction off dates with us,
give some money to a charity.
Yeah.
That'd be fun.
My interns are like, you should, they've been talking about it all summer.
Uh-huh.
They're like, we should do it, we should do an auction.
Would you do that?
But you won't go to the right.
You won't go to the right.
You won't go to the right.
I get to prepare it.
That's not gonna cost me a couple hundred dollars.
I just don't want to go to a restaurant
that doesn't accept reservations.
See, that's where it's ridiculous.
That's not true.
Not every time I walk into local divy places all the time.
I'm just saying typically.
What are you slumming it, right?
No, typically places I go to are a little nicer,
I don't say. What do you want to be with the people? I want to saying typically. What are you slumming it, right? No, typically places I go to are a little nicer, I don't say.
What do you want to be with the people?
I want to make sure the proletariat,
I might go to a burrito place in the mission,
which I did last night.
I do it all the time.
That's when you're out by yourself,
but you're when a guy's taking the off.
Most of the guys I date, like what about a guy took you
to the burrito shop?
All the time I do that.
So a guy, you know, guys like, hey,
let's just pick up a burrito. I'm like, hey, let's just pick up a read-o.
I'm like, great, let's pick up a read-o.
Yeah, but actually gone out with them a couple of times
to say in the beginning, what would I do?
I do not expect a man to take me to a super fancy meal.
In fact, that's almost over the top for the first date.
But you just said it costs you a couple hundred dollars.
Well, if we go to a nice restaurant, it's going to cost you a couple hundred dollars.
But that's not like, you have to do it. We can go for whatever, we can go to a nice restaurant, it's gonna cost you a couple hundred dollars, but that's not like you have to do it.
We can go to, we can go for whatever, we can go to party.
I know like first date, this guy was eating last year,
we went out and took me like an art opening
for the first date, and then we get like,
I somewhat, you would have hated it.
It was only white wine.
But yeah, I don't know, what is it cause?
What are you too much to use for that?
You don't go on dates.
You just have sex with them.
You just get wasted, they sleep over, and then they go home home in the morning and all it was the cost of alcohol washing your
sheets right the quarters for the machine to wash your sheets that's it I don't want
to hear because I saw you tweeting from flower and water right which a place that Steve
jobs can even get into I know, I happen to be the owner.
I was dating him.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was dating him.
Well, hopefully you didn't come to the office.
So I got in a lot.
No, he has a crazy owns the restaurant.
He just wrote the thing.
I wrote the check.
And he has a company account.
That's cool.
Yeah, that was awesome.
But do you want to go?
We can go sometime.
He's still a really good friend of mine.
We're just not dating anymore
Flower and water is an amazing restaurant. It's gonna happen to be dating the guy owns it and I happened to eat their bunch
I'm not going there unless I've never revealed that
They have a dress code. Do they have a dress? No, it's so chill. It's in the mission
Because the food is amazing. It's not like it's not really expensive the food's incredible and it's in the mission
Hipster it's not in pack heights or something wherever you think I go, which I don't I never leave my neighborhood ever
Okay, so is Bradley Cooper's new mystery woman actually Jennifer Lopez
Could it be that Jennifer Lopez is enjoying the dating scene now that she's no longer with ex-husband mark Anthony
That's the recent buzz after a mystery woman who looks especially like Jenny from the block they sell part of
Jenny from the block she's like forty whatever
with spotted cruising around LA with Bradley Cooper so I guess he dumped Renee
Zalweger and now he's dating I don't know any stuff but you know he's dating
Jennifer did you see this did you know this no she's she take we talked about
this a little bit yesterday she's take some time she should have a relationship
to get right into another relationship.
With someone who's slapped with every single woman
in Hollywood.
I also think it's probably not even true
because they just want to link her to anybody
just to get a new story.
Right.
But I'm sure JLo is super high maintenance.
Yeah, it's still in fun.
And she got kids now.
She has some kids.
You don't want girls with kids.
You want to grow up as high maintenance
and she has kids?
Some dudes are down with the kids thing.
I'm off for it.
Some guys are down for it.
Yeah, but if she's a cool,
if she has kids, she better be really cool.
She's probably like 16 nannies and they're never around.
She's probably like, oh honey Brad's coming over,
like take the kids away to you know
Disney World for the day. Disney land or whatever. Okay, study
You're gonna appreciate this because this explains a lot about a lot of the issues that you have with me
Well, you've many issues with me, but one of them is that I don't have a great memory
And it's because when we're doing the show we're like in a vortex
So if you tell me something it's a good there's a good chance that I'm not gonna remember I don't remember anything a study just came out that says great sex can cause memory loss
Oh, so you tell me you're having great sex. I'm having amazing sex and that's why I can't remember god damn thing
You must be having great sex 24 hours a day. No, but often listen if this is right
You're having mind blowing sex to your partner. You might want to slow down. Because according to a recent medical journal, great sex can temporarily wipe your memory.
According to a real life case study in the US, a woman arrived at a hospital in a fluster
because she just had sex and couldn't remember anything from the last 24 hours.
This is true, you would have amnesia.
Yeah, there are, there are, it, well, it says, listen, the good, the sex-induced memory loss even
has a name, transient global amnesia, and it's
thought to be a temporary thing, but it comes on suddenly with complete memory loss, and
it can be worrying for those who experience it.
I wouldn't mind.
If I was having amazing sex, and I forgot everything, and it was that good that I lost my memory,
that I have great, a good story is that.
And the memory comes back.
It's not permanent damage.
Like rock my world, lose my memory for 24 hours, it's totally fine. But like permanent, I'm not good with it.
Yeah, but you just lost your mind just before the show because you couldn't find your phone.
I know, but what does that have to do with anything?
Because you can't remember where you put it.
Oh, honey, losing my phone every five minutes has nothing to do with memory loss.
It just has to do with me not paying attention to what my hands are doing in the right side of the phone.
Yeah, that's a nice story
But what's actually on your phone? What do you mean right now? Yeah, what's on your phone at this moment?
Everything's on my phone my entire life's on my phone
But what kind of stuff is on your phone that you'd be afraid I have no naked pictures
Mm-hmm. I don't even have password on my phone. So I found my phone. They found my email. What you don't have a password on your phone
No, we do it for me. I don't know how.
So you're serious right now.
Totally.
You know every guy probably just went through your phone and seen like that.
Every guy that I sleep with goes through my phone when I'm sleeping.
Yeah, when you're gonna go totally.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Who's looking at my phone?
Are you that naive?
Yeah.
That a guy didn't go through your phone.
Do you erase any of your messages?
Never.
Oh, you're...
I've got nothing to hide.
I'm an open book.
I've got no nude photos of me.
They don't exist on the planet.
Mm-hmm.
And, okay, maybe I should pass word on it, but I know of.
Except for when I did that movie, but, okay,
we're not together.
Okay, women on the contraceptive pill have longer marriages,
but are less attracted to their husbands.
The other day, we get a story about women on contraception
saying that they pick less, what was it? Partners that are not as to their husbands. The other day, we had a story about women on contraception saying that they pick less,
what was it, partners that are not as cute or something?
They picked nicer guys.
They picked the nice guys.
Well, it also says women on the pill have longer marriages
where are less attracted to their husbands, which is kind of depressing.
If a woman is taking the oral contraceptive pill,
chance search will have longer and happier marriage than those
who aren't taking the pill a recent study discovered, but they also find that
they met their future husband, they tend to have longer
marriages despite feeling less satisfied with their sex lives
than women who don't use oral contraceptives.
The result show that the hormones in women on the pill
so it's all about hormones, the pill messes with your hormones
but in a good way in a bad way, like it helps you not get pregnant
but it does mess with your hormones, which is why not on it
More they were more balanced and those who didn't take it mean non-pill takers were more likely to change their preferences when looking for part during certain times a month
So they're not trying to prepare the pill just messes up lemon. It's eyes, but it's amazing
You should totally take the pill, but there are all these side effects where they say you can't do it when you take the pill
You know what happens to me?
You'll like this.
My breasts grow two sizes.
I become like a porn star.
I have a porn star breasts and they're hard and they're big.
They're like a C plus.
And I was a good guy a few years ago
and I went on the pill,
because I've been off and on it over the years.
And the only side effect was that my whole body whole body, say the same and my boobs.
So why are you anti-pill?
My friends, but I'm not anti-pill.
I'm just saying that there are a lot of side, but everything you take, I think we totally
need the birth control pill.
The birth control pill revolutionized the way women have sex right now.
Birth control is panic.
I'm just saying it's a bummer that you have a longer marriage, but you're not attracted
to your husband.
And what I'm saying is I don't know how you have this, I don't know how you can figure that out
because there is no control factors here.
If you have the most women in longer marriages
are not, they're less attracted to their husband
that for time.
So I don't know we can blame it on the pill.
That's all I'm saying.
But when I go on the pill, I just didn't want to be taking
a pill every day.
But my booze were huge and the guy I was dating at the time
was like, over the moon.
Like you literally, look like look like a boob job
my friends i went to like some beach part of some pool party and they were like
three of you were like did you just get a boob job
and there was amazing
but then i went off and they shrunk back
not that you don't take it anymore because of that
no i'm not mad i'm just um...
i just know that if i want an instant boob job i just have to go on the pill
and nothing else grows nothing else else changes, just my boobs.
It was really fun.
I was like, it's new accessories.
So you're not afraid to have a kid at the moment?
Cause I, yeah.
You're not?
No, not really.
Just random with some random things.
Well, I used condoms.
No, I'm saying that you're sleeping with random guys all the time.
But I'm saying.
No, not all the time.
I am, I've been off the pill for years.
I use condoms.
Because those are effective.
Condoms are effective unless they break.
What?
Because they never break.
What do you use?
You use condoms, right?
Yeah.
Do you check if the woman's taking,
I hope the woman that I'm dating
or taking the pill.
You can't make assumptions.
Do not assume that she's on the pill
and she might be lying.
Well, they're all lying. Always.
All women or liars says menace.
It is not true.
That's all they want.
They want your money.
They don't want your money.
But it is true that, yes, I use, I could get pregnant.
You're right.
And I would be, I don't know how to be with that.
I really thought about it.
I'm sure you'll be excited.
I think the dog thing went over well.
She's a terror.
Where's the dog right now?
She's with my interns in the office.
Oh.
She ate a blue pen the other day over my new rug,
all over my carpet in my office,
and her mouth was blue and her paws were blue all day.
Okay, so much of it that was a kid.
The kid would even do more stuff,
but these days, yeah, I can like put in a crate at night
and out of talk to her all night, with the kid and be a little more difficult.
Yeah, it would.
I don't know what I would do if I got pregnant right now.
That's an interesting thing to think about, but I try not to think about those things.
I'm really good at compartmentalizing, so I don't like go there, but you're right.
I'm at risk every time I have sex of getting pregnant.
I'm not on the pill, but I really am good with condoms.
It's a better question than would you marry the guy that you had a baby with?
I don't know.
It depends who it is.
And I'm not totally psyched to get married.
I don't know how I feel about that.
But who knows?
It depends on the guy.
Depends on feeling that day.
Are you going to let the guy know that you want to date
other people even though you're married?
Well, if you're sleeping with me, you probably already knows that.
No, because that's why you're in your relationship.
That's why I'm sorry that I'm talking about this and for other people, but that's why.
There's not a lot of other people in front of everyone else.
No, other people that are listening on the show, but I mean, that's why.
Why is that what they feel?
98% of them crash and burn because you never tell them
I
Love to have relationship with you. I
Do tell no honey that's what I've been doing the last few years is that I have been open with these guys
Right then why do they still want to be your boyfriend because they know that I'm sleeping with other people and they're totally fine with that
They're not some of them aren't and those are the ones I'm not dating anymore
Those are the ones that I don't date anymore.
How long did that last?
A year.
I was dating this guy for one year and he was dating a girl in LA and I was dating other
people and we saw each other once a week and it was like open relationship.
That is not a relationship.
You see somebody, that's a-
It's an open relationship.
That's a F buddy.
Yeah, no.
We were in a relationship.
We saw each other once a week. That's what's our relationship.
You can't define relationships by your heterosexual
monogamous standards.
Every person that you have, every person I talk to,
oh, I see my girlfriend once a week.
She had one of those friends.
I hate that word.
What the hell were you?
You were F buddies.
If you know what I'm talking about,
I love him still.
I adore him still I door him
It just wasn't working what then what was your relationship?
sex dinner
wine
Concerts fun see he took you out to dinner and
Took you to concerts because you want to have sex with you. That's what guys do yeah, but we will be on that
What's the I don't't understand how you're saying that
is a relationship.
It is a relationship. It's my type of relationship.
I decided that I did not want to be monogamous with anyone
the last three, four years. So I was dating a bunch of people.
And they all knew that I was dating other people.
In the past, maybe I wasn't as, I was dating other people and it
wasn't as open, but then I've decided to open it up and be
really honest. And if a guy can handle that, they're not going to be
with me. Okay. During this one year time, what did you tell your friends he was?
He was just, I'll call him Bob. He was just Bob. They knew I'd like, it has Bob.
Like he's great. He's once a week. We have dinner. It's fun. We have sex. It's amazing.
And it totally worked. He was eating someone else too. I know you, I know it's hard. I know you don't
get it. Why is it hard for me? I understand. But it totally worked. He was dating someone else too. I know you, I know it's hard. I know you don't get it. Why is it hard for me?
I understand.
But it totally worked.
But then it stopped working and then we ended up.
I'm just saying you can't call that relationship.
You can call it ever you want.
So people in open relationships, not in relationships.
In open relationships?
Yeah, that's not really a relationship.
What's a relationship then?
You sexting this woman in Italy.
Is that a relationship? It's not a relationship. Relations You sexting this woman in Italy, is that a relationship?
It's not a relationship.
Relationship is boyfriend girlfriend.
That's a relationship.
What do you like in the Christian right or something?
No, I'm not, but I'm just saying boyfriend girlfriend, okay?
You made an agreement that you want to be together
and that's who you sleep with.
Right, but I, we, he is conflicted too about. I know that's a crazy concept and it just started you sleep with. Right, but we need that he is conflicted too.
I know that's a crazy concept and it just started like last week.
It's a new thing that's trending.
What is trending?
That people just like get together
and then they stay monogamous.
I know that's a weird concept.
Shut up.
I know it's odd.
I'm not saying that I'm open to it.
Like I of course I'm always open to it.
But the last few years, I realized
that monogamy wasn't working for me
in my relationships personally.
And so I just decided that I wanted to,
I was meeting tons of guys.
I was flying around a lot.
I was like, guys in New York, guys in LA, guys here.
And it was, everyone knew, it was all fine.
And it flowed.
And they were like, I had relationships with all of them,
just like I have a relationship with you.
So you're Paul Leandra.
You're in the relationship with Alicia.
Then you're Paulie ember is then
perhaps
Perhaps why why do you get a box man man? Why do you got to define it? I'm just saying because if that guy was sleeping with another chick
I don't think that's your I don't think that is your ideal your ideal relationship. I think your ideal relationship would be a
guy
That was your husband
But he didn't sleep with anybody else and you got to hang
out with other people.
That would be nice.
Then why can't you just tell them upfront?
That's what you want.
Because that's going to happen.
How could it not happen?
Maybe it could happen.
I'm not accepting that that is my ideal relationship.
I can tell you that I don't know what my ideal relationship is.
So I'm trying out different things to figure out.
I'm telling you what your ideal relationship is.
I know, but you don't know. I've been hearing you for the past six years describe your relationships. I know,
but you don't really know. I want to go. What do you say he knows? I want to say that you should
just try it out. I haven't tried it out. No, when you meet a guy. When I meet a guy, I should say,
I'm going to bone other dudes, but you're going to hit. And see what the response is.
Okay I'll work on that next time.
So when I do my match.com profile.
See what they say.
When I do my match profile.
Oh I'm sure the guys on match will say it's cool.
Yeah.
Yeah because the bunch of online creeps that's why.
No.
No they're not.
Okay should we get into some emails because then we have to talk about a sexual stuff
Did you anything else you wanted to talk about would you like to define my own relationship standards anymore?
What is it that you are you want me? I do want to find somebody that I would like to spend the rest of my life with how's that going?
Not going well so far, right?
Okay, good so both of us are looking for the right set
We've gone by you not going well so far. Right. Okay. So both of us are looking for the right thing. Are you upset? No, not upset.
We've gone through this before.
I know.
I feel totally good.
I feel awesome.
But I thought you were more open to being upfront about it.
I am more open to saying that I don't believe that, okay.
I don't think that monogamy is working in our society.
I believe that monogamy is a bit of an epidemic.
I believe in the next hundred years people won't even be marrying. I believe that I believe that people get
married. They blindly sign up for monogamy and then they cheat. They get divorced. They
don't understand. Oh my god. My husband was attracted to a secretary. Can you believe it?
Yeah, I can believe it. That's what happens. We are not meant to all be together with one
person. So I get that that happens. You can make it work, but just as many will get
divorced as they do or you know, that's a challenge too. So
it's not like mandagami is the answer to everything. I think a lot of people struggle
through it. So what I'm saying is I would like a relationship where I talked to the person
saying, you know what, what are we going to do? Like troubleshooting. Like let's say this
scenario happens and I'm attracted to someone else. So you're attracted to someone else
or maybe we do open it up the relationship and we see
other people sometimes or you know I don't know but I just say this is something that I
might want and we talk about it.
And then because I believe that people get married they're so kind up in the wedding and
they're kind of in the work to be together death death to us part which makes you want
a hurl.
How do you know death to us part?
Whatever.
You don't know what's going to happen.
You're my only one.
I went to the gay wedding.
I went to the gayest, the straightest gay wedding I ever
went to, I went a few weeks ago.
And they were like, I give you my heart.
And I was just like, what's wrong with that?
I just felt so, like giving a heart.
Like why?
Like, you don't know what's gonna happen.
I just think that people need to sit down
and have serious discussions about how they see their sex life,
their relationship, their marriage going before they get married.
Not just planning the wedding invites and do you like peach for the flowers
or do you like pink roses, whatever?
Have you ever figured out what's given you this attitude?
Do you think it's because of?
Because relationships crumble around me.
I don't see a lot of happy marriages.
Is it because of the divorce that you've seen?
I think that's had something to do with it, of course.
That's like, for a while.
Why do you think I have a different attitude on that because my both of
my parents were divorced my dad's been married twice and he's divorced
then why why do you think you were so affected by that i think because you
haven't i think that you
don't really know what you're talking about
uh... now i think that it's something different for everyone. I love, I sit and give advice to minogamous people all day long.
I believe that minogamy can work.
That's what I understand.
I just think for me, it's been challenging.
I believe that for many, many people,
and that's the people I'm trying to help,
who write me, I get thousands of emails
to be more like, we married for 10 years,
my wife, no longer wants to have sex,
my husband comes home from work, he doesn't do this, he doesn't foreplay, he doesn't touch my boobs anymore, we don't
make out.
So I try to help people in the negative relationships.
And so what I'm just saying is that you have to constantly talk about sex in your relationship
or it's going to die.
You have to constantly talk about how you feel about your attitudes, your fantasies before
you get married.
Have the conversation like, well, I have a fantasy of being with three chicks
or two chicks or whatever.
And you should just talk about these things.
Sex is a crucial part of relationship.
And when couples stop connecting sexually,
they blame it on the kids,
they blame it on the schools,
the school of the work, they blame it on their work,
whatever it is.
But when you don't have sex as an anchor
in a relationship that's keeping you together,
it's gonna wreak havoc on the rest of your relationship.
So sex is something that needs to be talked about before you get married.
All right. I'm moving on to emails. Go for it because I can tell you're getting
riled up. I'm not getting, I love it. Yeah. It's good. Good. I want to hear from the people
in here. Here's from the peeps. Okay, thanks everyone for emailing me at feedback at sexwithanami.com.
As you know, you can also on our website, sexwithanami.com, or if you're in your office, it's EmilyMores.com. As you know, you can also on our website, sexzomi.com, or if you're in your office, it's Emily Morse.com, because some people block our site. Yeah. Because of sex, whatever.
We're not even dirty. But anyway, you can email me feedback at sexzomi.com, or there's
a Q&A section, so easy. Click the Q&A at the top and just write me an email. I'll answer
it. Okay. Dear Emily, we've been listening to your show for a while now, and I love it.
I am very recently divorced, but ready to meet new people.
I have never really played the dating game as I got married young and didn't have to
date a whole lot before I found the woman I loved.
So to say I lack experience in that field would be quite an understatement.
So that brings you in a question.
How do I introduce myself, start a conversation with someone with outcome across as a creep?
I figure women get annoyed at some point with all the guys in the room trying to get in
their pants.
For me, that is my angle.
If it happens great, but at the least an interesting conversation would make my day.
Any advice for this poor guy?
FYI, I'm 29.
Not sure if that helps our hearts.
Ha ha.
Signed view from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
Well, that's his first problem.
Like an Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. No, no, his first problem. Like an Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
No, no, no, no.
We do not say that because everyone complains
that wherever they date is the worst time to date in,
and I totally disagree with you.
I don't care where you live, there are people to date.
So what you gotta do, Vu, is you have to just start talking.
We were talking about this yesterday.
Like, it's not, I'm not gonna give you some pickup lines.
There are no magic pickup lines.
There's not like the right thing to say,
so every woman's gonna wanna jump your bones.
I really believe that it's just about being friendly
and being open talking to every woman that you meet,
even if the woman giving you the coffee,
the woman giving you your dry cleaning,
the woman next to on the bus.
How's your day going today?
Yeah, this bus was really late, this bus is always late.
It can be casual conversation,
but what happens when you are in a relationship
or where I'll and you get out of it, you got married young, and I get a lot of emails
like this, it's almost like your dating muscles haven't been flexed. They haven't been
exercised. You forget how to talk to people, you forget how to pick people up, and you
really, really need to just start talking to everybody that you meet. Women, especially
if that's what you're looking for, but men too, and just having like conversations,
learn how to be chatty.
Like, what were you saying you said to some yesterday,
you were saying a line that you said to somebody like,
no, my,
oh, where are you from?
Yeah, where are you from?
What are you from is the biggest opener.
Right.
Just no geography.
Right.
You know, if a girl says, oh, I'm from Oklahoma, right?
I'll tell you the story.
I dated a girl from Oklahoma
She was a ex-hooter of waitress awesome, but she was an excellent cook and cooked me food all the time
That you love that she was awesome, but the only thing is the problem was she wanted to commit and I didn't want to commit at the time
Okay, now she's marrying has a baby got it, but I'm just saying any any city
Just know something about the city, all the
all the major city states, something just just pull up anything in your mind. Okay. Anything in your
mind, right? And then use that as an opener. Right. And it gets easier like it gets easier to say,
hey, where are you from? Or did you take this bus off in or God, this line's never this long at
Starbucks or whatever it is. It's not some like, hey, I really like you. Although I do like compliments.
You love compliments.
Love your shoes.
Like, so then I think you're gay sometimes,
but a lot of gay compliments on my shoes a lot.
I compliment women on their clothes always.
I know, you do.
We love that.
We love compliments.
I know.
Compliments, but not overly creepy compliments,
but just like, hey, cool bag or love that jacket
or call the door for you, don't you?
It's funny, it's like when you get compliments,
I notice from like other people not for
me because I barely give you any but I still love you.
You get like in this zen like.
It's like someone's dating like a pro set.
It's like you like to get killed in your eyes or like.
Tell me again why you think I'm so cute.
I'm so funny.
How funny do you really think I am?
Right that kind of thing. I know it funny. How funny do you really think I am? Right, that kind of thing?
I know.
It's like I bliss out.
You should compliment your woman 10 times a day.
No.
10.
Not 10 times a day.
10 times a day.
No, because no.
Yes.
Don't tell guys that.
Yeah.
No, because then there are 20.
I caught it down from 20.
No.
Because if you 10, I guarantee you, if you compliment a woman 10 times a day
That woman's gonna cheat on you. Okay, men
She's gonna cheat on you because she's gonna think she's gonna think she's got you in the palm of her eyes
And she does because you compliment
Women like to be complimented. No, no, no, no, like nice shoes nice bag nice hers
Like how is your day? Oh, baby so good to see you're so hot like you're sorry whatever. bag nice hers like how is your day? Oh baby so good to see you're so hot like your side whatever
It's just like how is your day? How is it doesn't make it doesn't make it as special if you do if you if you do it all the time
Women like to hear it. I'm just saying and I don't think the guys are pussy because it's complimenting me
I'm not saying I'm saying it's gonna get you on because that chick gets gonna go on to the next guy that gives her
Attention, okay, you're wrong. Because it's new.
Mm-hmm.
Any guy on Facebook.
Right, you're wrong.
Okay.
This is all you look at in your picture.
Right, we disagree on this forever.
And I'm sorry, that's why you're not in a relationship because you don't complement
one man enough.
You don't give, this is what you just might have on with you.
I can get a relationship if I want to.
You can get in a relationship, but you think that they're always going to play you or
steal your wallet when you're not looking.
I say that joke, they're going to steal my wallet because you are all into getting tied up and stuff like
that.
I don't want to get tied up because the one was the most important.
I know.
But what I'm saying is the women that you date you think are going to be like, I got this
guy in my pocket.
I'm just going to move on.
And I don't even know who these women are that you date, but that they think that but it's
a different time.
Like women and men have so many options. You do have to play that game
They have so many options because women they get distracted by shiny things, okay?
And look a puppy like oh my man at home
I he's complimented me 10 times a day. He's so whooped blah blah and then here comes this other guy
It's a way of keeping us interested.
Okay, moving on to the next email. Why? I was totally gonna destroy you. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, I told you got it. I believe and we've talked about this before
that okay, I'm not even in 10, whatever, give three. It doesn't matter. I'm just saying
that women and men like to be just feel enforced like be like, hey, baby, look, sweet
today.
It was a great day.
I hope you helped your meeting went well.
Or you were great today at dinner.
You were funny at the whatever, just something little things.
And you withhold from women who need that because you think
they're going to think I got men to send back packets
or they're going to go bone his best friend.
Wish will they will.
Because you can't trust me.
We disagree on this.
I'm moving on to the next email.
This is in response to Gatsarday show
Hi, Emily Jeepers
Menace was nagging you about online dating and speed dating does he think it's funny to keep you on edge?
We would really love to hear your honest feedback how it works for you and what you will find interest and if you will find interesting men this way
Release brother take a chill pill. I love how you filter these emails
to make them all compromise you and the bag on me.
Do you know how many the bag on you that I don't read?
I just have to be relevant.
Bring them on, I don't want to.
I don't want to.
This is from yesterday though.
This is important.
It's from a guy, right?
Jen, girl.
OK, Jen.
Just chill, men.
It's not that bad.
OK.
I'm chilling.
Just OK. Menace is an asset to the show. It's not that bad. Okay. I'm chilling. Just okay. Menace isn't as such at the show.
It's delightful to get a point of you, however,
when you get to a nagging bus,
it's time for me to get off.
Do you cross a lot?
He says you crossed.
She says you cross a line from entertaining to being annoying.
With much respect and admiration,
Emily, you are one smart cookie.
Jen from the greater Sacramento Valley.
She's a premium friends with benefits member.
I had to read her email today.
She's from Sacramento, I don't care.
You.
Okay, here's a deal.
Let me just recap.
Yesterday, I was talking about that I was going to start
dating online or speed dating just to meet God.
I've never, these are things I'm kind of afraid of.
I've never dated a match.
I've never, okay, Cupid, I've never put myself out.
I never asked a guy out, ever.
So I'm gonna do that.
And then you were making fun of me,
doing something, whatever, like, I don't remember.
You were saying you were gonna have your friends,
which I thought was funny.
I don't totally agree that you were,
honey, I'm sorry, she's a principal,
but if it's a member, I have to read her email.
Okay.
And I added it a bunch out.
I added it to really mean stuff out.
You should be happy.
Good, no, I want to hear that stuff.
You do?
Yeah.
What did it say, Alicia?
You don't want to hear it.
You don't want to hear it.
It was nice.
I don't care what that whore has to say.
Don't call it friends of benefits member or whore.
Anyways, I love you, John, and Sacramento.
This is a deal.
This is all I was saying yesterday for anyway,
that didn't hear the show.
I said that I was going to give my friends the key to give them to be able to go out with
you if you went on match.
And the key was complimenting you.
I love your photograph.
Oh, I love that book too.
And I'm like, that would be lame if you've never met me.
If a guy emails me a match and says, hot photograph, I'd be like, delete.
No, okay.
But he's going to compliment you on like how you like yoga or some stupid thing like that.
Okay.
Okay, what's gonna be on your online profile?
I don't know, you help not you, so I'm gonna have some friends help me write it.
Oh, I would help you be online profile.
No, I'm gonna have people around me write it.
I have experts who are in the field.
Don't expect to go on a date unless the place has reservations.
No, that's not true.
I don't even care when we're doing the first day, it's not. Okay, I just have a need a lot of restaurants that you need a reservation
Of what I'm gonna say what you were putting on your phone. I'm so fearful of it that I haven't even been to the website yet to see what questions
I ask just like this is a thing like who you're looking for. Oh, do you have to put what you're looking for?
Maybe I don't know. I don't go on those things
We've to call our guests right now. I'd love to answer that question. I want to talk to our guest
What she's talking about asexuality she's asexual. It's very important asexual awareness week is coming up
There's 1% of the population don't have sex 1% of the population
So it's appealing to the general public. I'm just saying it's information. Okay, what is my online program?
I'm gonna say it's gonna say I'm just saying it's information. Okay, what is my online profile? We're going to say it's going to say,
I'm looking for love.
I don't know what I'm going to say.
Ask me the questions.
You're going to come up desperate.
Ask me the questions.
Ask me what do the questions say on the online dating profiles?
Okay, interest.
This is the, this is the,
I work all the time and work a whole other work obsessed.
Good, you have a job.
I have a job.
I like that.
Okay.
I have to call her, yeah.
Okay.
Alright.
What do you like to do in your free time?
Other than work.
Nothing.
Nothing.
Just hang out with friends.
Okay.
Hang out with friends.
Go to the park.
Walk my dog.
I totally want to message you.
What kind of photo are you going to put out?
I don't know.
I'm going to put a sexy photo up, or you can show some cleave,
or what?
Yeah, I'll show you some cleave.
I should go on the pill again so my boobs grow.
Seriously, so that's what I could say.
I hang out with friends.
That's who I am.
Am I so still lie?
I go with friends. friends i like movies somewhat appealing
i
hang out with my friends a lot and walk the dog and i do yoga
i go to movies i go to concerts i go to
what do i do i go running see you got you can't put the yoga boring
you can't put the yoga i already don't. You can't put the yoga on. I already don't want to date myself.
I don't even want to date me.
All those creepy yoga guys are going to try to message you.
I'm going to make it funny and interesting.
Because I think the lamest thing is like I never do this but
and then they're like I like hiking and swimming and running.
Like I'm not doing that.
Didn't you date a yoga guy?
Yes.
Did he have a ponytail?
I can't remember. He had a ponytail.
No, he had long hair and lots of tattoos.
I think I dated two yoga guys.
I slept with my mom's yoga instructor once.
Your mom's yoga instructor?
Long time ago, he was hot.
My mom had a crush on me.
I didn't mean to.
Did your mom know you slept with them?
No, I told her later.
She's like, he's so hot.
I can't wait to take yoga with him.
And I was like, oh yeah.
And then he was really hot.
So how'd this go down? I told her years later that I slept with them. I was like, oh yeah. And then he was really hot. So how'd this go down?
I told her years later that I stopped them.
She didn't go to care.
No, I want to know.
You want to know how I stopped with the yoga instructor?
He kept correcting my positions and it felt really good.
And we were flirty.
And then we slept together eventually.
She was because every yoga guy is a creep.
Yeah, a lot of them are.
A lot of them sleep with their clients.
So they're, why do women go with yoga guys?
Cuz you're in the zone you're in the zone it is kind of nasty and I'm not proud
But I just shared the way did you have sex with the guy like just right there? I did not have intercourse with him. Okay. I did not have Pino
penis vagina intercourse
But we do have to call Dallas about a sexual week
But we do have to call Dallas about asexual week. All right, I'll come back.
Because she's a friend of mine.
We go to school together and here's her number.
I don't even know.
What?
So she goes to your...
My sex school.
Your sex school?
Yeah.
There's her number.
Okay, I got it somewhere.
Okay, she goes to your sex school, right?
Right.
And why does she go to a school when she's ace school?
That's a great question for her.
See, men is how much fun we're going to have with her.
I'm going to have fun destroying her.
Don't be mean.
She's ace school.
I'm going to be really nice to where I swear somehow.
Did you get the number?
Where is the number?
Did you get the number?
I just moved it.
OK, where's the number?
It's right there.
Let me see.
Don't show it on the camera. Oh my god. It's the very top of the number. It's right there. Let me see. Don't show it on the camera. Oh my God. It's
the very top of the page. So okay, Dallas Bryson, she is asexual and next week is asexual
week. It's the 23rd through the 29th. And I know people are like, what do you mean asexual
like that exists? That's a thing. It's an organization. So she's going to brief us on
that because we are here to bring you all spectrums of sexuality not just hetero gay straight there are a whole
asexual part of the population.
Is she just like an egomaniac?
What do you mean is she why does that connect to asexuality?
It's an asexuality you're like super into yourself.
No.
You can ask for that too but please don't.
I'm not.
I'm just I'm just having fun.
I'm trying to do this. Hold on. Hold on. You don't have to grab it real quick.
I don't know why you scheduled this today.
Why? Why? Because of the... You should've told me.
Give me a head up. Because of the phone system.
If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Okay.
If it doesn't work it doesn't work. Okay. If it doesn't work for
Call it tomorrow. And you know what? Can she hear me? Hello? Dallas? It's a
says it's called and I swear I'm not doing it on purpose. I really. This is
like it didn't work. I really want to talk to her. I sort of really want to talk to you but I'm sorry we can't hear you. We have a
bag of neck. Let's try it again.
Is that your ring?
Did you get the right number? Yes, she's there but I don't think we can hear her.
Hello. She picked up. Okay. But she can't hear us. Why't think we can hear her Hello, she picked up okay, but she can't hear us why okay? We can't hear her okay? I don't know we'll call you back later tomorrow
Yeah, I knew this man. He's in church. I can't even challenge you why because I don't know how to work the phone over there
No, you should just give me a heads up that you were gonna have a phone call today, and I would have
I never give you I never tell you anything before the show
Why would this why is this day different than the other day?
You knew that we had problems with the phone before.
You should have told me, hey, we have problems with the show.
I thought we fixed that problem.
Sorry, it's asexual, we will talk tomorrow.
Perfect.
I'm not mad.
I'm so happy, we keep reading emails, though.
No, no, no, no, no.
Okay, go.
What do I think about what?
I was having fun with asexual. And then it sucks that we can't talk to a caller
Yeah, you're really upset go ahead no, but okay, what did she tell you about asexuality? Well, it's funny
You should ask I happened to have some information right there
What is an asexual person an asexual person is someone who does not experience sexual attraction most individuals find there are certain people
They are sexually attracted to for For asexual this includes everybody. So they're not attracted
to anybody. Is asexual another word for celibate? Unlike celibacy which is a
lifestyle choice asexuality as a sexual orientation. Just like homosexuality
bisexuality and bisexuality and heterosexuality, celibacy is a conscious decision not to have sex regardless sexual desires
Here's the key a
Sexuals do not consider to some celibate as they are giving up no more and abstaining from sex than a gay person by abstaining from sex from some of
Some of them different gender
So they're not discussed about sex so it's actually like they just don't
They're just not attracted to they don't feel sexual desire That's so weird to me. I know don't, they're just not attracted to it, they don't feel sexual desire.
That's so weird to me.
I know, don't you want to talk to her?
No, it's so weird to me that she would be having a sex class.
Well, I know, but she's right,
she's getting her doctorate and sexuality just like I am,
but she's the one, she's the asexual one in the class.
And that's something happening in her past.
And now she's doing it.
It just says as asexual they cause by trauma or mental illness.
The majority of asexuals have not experienced trauma and do not suffer from mental illness.
It is important to remember that trauma mental illness also occur outside of the asexual
community.
There's no data to support the existence of the connection of those two.
Okay.
Do we want to tell a bit for like a while?
Yeah, it was on my mandatory um.
That was fun. That was like three on my mandatoryum. That was fun.
That was like three.
Is that three over for you again?
It was good.
I was on my mandatoryum, which is like a moratorium with men.
And I was actually, you know what was really cool
about the mandatoryum is that so many listeners
like were on Wimitoriums and they like did it too.
Because I felt like I was sleeping with too many people,
not too in fuel, but I was dating.
And I was like, things were getting crazy.
I was like, I need to cut myself out from man
This was last year and I stopped dating for about six
Four months. It was gonna be six, but it was four and I didn't sleep with anybody
Which was the longest I've ever gone in my life and I feel like I learned I spent a lot of time alone and with my friends as always but
You realize that we're always searching for really I mean, we, I mean, typically,
I don't mean everyone, but stereotypically, people are always like looking for that relationship,
or looking for that person, or if you're in a relationship, they feel certain parts of your mind,
and you like, your mind circles throughout the day of all the things you're thinking about,
food, work, exercise, religion, person I'm dating. Well, when that loops around in your head,
and you go back to person you're dating,
it's like a Ferris wheel and it gets the person
dating and it's empty, you're like,
oh, interesting, that spot is empty.
There is no one to fill it.
That's what I realized.
It's like, I realized what I had a lot of time
in that space that I would normally spend thinking
about some of that I'm dating or doing something with them.
I could fill it with other things.
And I felt a little bit lonely,
but I didn't feel like,
I just felt like I got a better understanding of myself
and who I am and what I want.
And it felt really good.
Is that when you figured out you want to go out?
And sometimes I felt a little like God.
It'd be nice to have, I love cuddling.
And I love being a bed with someone,
and I love all that stuff,
but I just felt that it would be good for me to step back.
Because I got out of that relationship
with that crazy guy where I'd change my locks.
Remember that?
Yeah.
It just was bad ending.
Like who changes their locks?
I had to change my locks.
That's how it ended.
Well, I had to change.
Lock's changed.
Whatever I had to.
I had to stop dating men.
I had to call the police on my, on my hex to get her off of me.
Really?
Right.
Yeah, I know.
I got that girl.
That's a jury springer. Like, I'm not the girl that's changed her locks. Me? Well, how did I know I got that girl. That's a Jerry Springer like I'm not the girl has changed her locks
Me well, how did I get myself in that situation? I got swept up by this guy
And it was unhealthy and so I just felt that yeah, that was after your Manatorium so
No, it's before the man. No, he he started no
He was the beginning of my Manatorium
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How did the other-
You met him, I remember I crashed his car when you were in it.
Yeah, which was ridiculous.
I backed up his car into a pole.
Like I really wanted to tell the kids-
Ex-tits your studios actually.
I really wanted to tell the guy, I'm like, why are you letting her drive a car?
Right, right, don't you know?
And then five seconds later you run into a pole.
Well that was a very tricky parking lot.
You got mad, there's like polls everywhere
I was a giant effing warehouse. Yeah, but there was polls everywhere right in the middle
I was not my prior moment and then when I went when we broke up and I changed locks
He's like you owe me for my car like dude. I don't know anything and he still calls me he calls me yesterday
I haven't talked to him in two years since it happened and he he's like, I'm really sorry, he keeps calling me.
I have to delete him from, I have to like, change my number.
He was a good one.
That was a good egg.
So that's wrong, that led to my mandatory.
All right, so do you think that's the longest break
you've ever had for a man?
For sure.
I've always had a boyfriend since I was like 16 years old.
So six months is the longest you've ever had a break
from a man.
Yes, absolutely.
From age what?
16, 17.
So you're just, yeah, this is the yeah, this keep on refilling so many men so little time.
Yes, so maybe that's another cause
That I had too many men. Yeah, exactly. I had never had time without a male distraction in my mind.
I really didn't.
No, it was not a male distraction.
It was just taking up my time.
No, no, no, no.
It's not as a distraction, it's just time for you to filter.
You don't give yourself enough time to filter.
Right now, that's why I'm not getting another relationship.
I'm filtering.
I have a hardcore filter on
So I am not gonna get in a relationship unless a person is like this or I have this type of relationship
I'm not I'm not gonna get in one. There'll be people around that all day
Cool
But I'm kind of like filtering why are you not what are you filtering for?
Because I don't want to get a relationship like that you got it because I was jumping into
Relation, I was going from one to the not exactly. Yeah, that's why you should go out to you are on that sort of a woman
Torium. You're not committing right now. I'm not committing right, but you also have met anyone
I've met people that I believe that you're gonna make out with yeah, we're gonna help okay
I think that's all we got time for today
This is what I have to tell you all, which is very important.
Tomorrow is free Friday.
Anyone in the world can watch and listen to our show.
And our show is about more carnal confessions.
Jimmy Jane Raffle.
Jimmy Jane is awesome.
There are sex toys that will rock your world and dirty talk.
And that's a free Friday show.
We're going to be, you know, we, this amazing festival.
We got hundreds of people who entered it.
The Treasure Island Music Festival, we're going to pick the winners on the show tomorrow.
They're going to win, they're going to give them weight copies of my book, Hot Sex and Jimmy
Jame.
You can also find me on Facebook and Twitter, Sex with Emily.
And thanks everyone for listening to this show.
It was a good for you.
Email me.
Feedback at sexwithemely.com.
and Twitter, Sex with Emily.
And thanks everyone for listening to this show.
It was a good for you.
Email me.
Feedback at sexwithemily.com.