Sex With Emily - Epsisode 266 - Friends With Benefits

Episode Date: August 5, 2011

The first step to getting a friend with benefits is to have friends, so if you’re already at that stage, today’s show is just for you, as we navigate the murky waters between Platonic Island and ���FWB’ Bay. Emily prepares herself for speed dating and debates whether or not she should she get an om-ing partner for an expanded orgasm. But the greater debate lies in whether it’s a good or bad idea to date a DJ. Plus, the most awkward moments between the sheets and what to do when they happen. And speaking of awkward times and nocturnal emissions, is it ok to hook up with an old high school friend? And even more plus: dealing with a partner’s abusive past, and the bare essentials of exhibitionism. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information about sex with Emily, go to sexwithemlee.com where you can do everything at sexwithemlee.com. You can listen to the show, watch the show live every day from 1 to 2. We're running a few minutes late today, so I have about that. That's some little technical stuff going on here. And every day, and it's also on demand.

So we've got four shows a week that we're doing, and we've got free Friday coming up tomorrow. Every Friday we're giving away our show for free. Yay. So you can listen to the show just like you used to and they're our long episodes and you're going to love them. And we want to thank everyone who's become a friends with benefits member. Because our friends with benefits members are so we love them. They're so psyched. They get answers directly. They get their emails answered directly. So we get hundreds of emails from you. But when you're a friend with benefits member, it's like getting sex advice, like when on demand. You're like, oh, last night I had sex with this chick and this thing happened. And what do I do, Emily? I will answer you within a few days. You'll get your answers to all your questions.

Plus, you get exclusive videos and you also get weekly sex toy and product giveaways. Just lots of fun things. So thanks everyone for becoming a friends with Ben of its member. It is 4.95 a month, which is like 15 cents a day, which is like nothing. It's like if you saw me to bar and you were like, hey, Emily. So I love your show.

Can I get by your drink? I'd say yes. So this is the drink that you're going to buy me for listening to the show. And I appreciate it. So anyway, everyone, thanks for listening to the show. Menace is out of town for a few days. He's in Lala Paloza and Chicago.

He's a very lucky man because he's supposed to be super, super fun. And hopefully he'll get laid and then share and have those stories to share with us. He's got a, he's got, he's got a, he's got a, something, a thing for women from the Midwest. So we'll see how that goes. So I, a lot's been going on. Okay, so last time we're doing this whole, you know how my interns have been very active in the show. They did their interned sex tour reviews. We watched porn together. Well,

now we're all going speed dating together, but they actually went last night and pre, prior to I'm going next week because we're in different age groups, but prior to that, we went out for some drinks, which was really fun. And Kelsey, intern Kelsey is here. Hi, Kelsey. Hey Emily, how's it going? Good. How are you? Came in a late today? I know. I'm sorry. I'm going to do with the free shots from the bartender. Yeah, but you made me take your shot. I know. I did. I'm not a big shot taker. So I was like,

Kelsey, do my shot. And then she texts me at seven a.m. That she's not coming into. This is what happens. But it's fine. She's here now. It was up all night. Did you meet anyone? No, no, no, no, we're going now. I was up all night. Did you meet anyone? No. No. Speed dating? Lying away. So give us just a quick, we're not gonna do a whole speed dating show, because it really is a phenomenon.

Now, if you think about it, everyone dates online. Most people are dating online, or they're dating through like, I'm fixing up through a friend. This is a way that you can really meet people like, you meet how many guys did you meet in an hour? 20? 20 in an hour. It's probably like there was 15.

I have no idea, I was a little drunk. She was a little drunk. Oops, my fault. hour? 20? 20 in an hour. It's really like there was 15. I have no idea I was a little drunk. She was a little drunk. Oops, my fault. So 20, so 20 guys an hour. When do you ever meet 20 people in an hour face to face, and then you're done? Like an hour, you can be home for dinner. And I think speed dating is a great concept.

It's been around for a long time. And so we thought we tried it out. And I did it once years ago, and I did me actually cute, couple cute guys. And we're gonna be going into it after I'm going on Wednesday. You guys just went and then maybe next Friday we'll talk all about it or Thursday. So but did you meet anything you want to impart about it? Like would you recommend it? Would you, any funny highlight moments?

Let's just say that. We'll get into the hole. I don't want, I mean, there was this guy who gave me his card and he said he was a reality warrior What is that mean? I don't know and it's something about self-defense and I was like if you're a warrior Why are you at speed dating, you know exactly if you're a warrior just go pick up your chicken The woods or something that was interesting. I don't really get it. That's really interesting. I don't know I kept on I feel kind of bad about it though. I kept on being like, who does speed dating? You kept saying that's everyone. Oh my god that's like everyone who dates online and starts their profile with I never do this but you know. Yeah. I'm doing this as a

joke. Do you tell them that you were doing it for the show? I did because they asked me what I did and then it became obvious. Oh okay. Oh I work at this podcast. You're telling the name of it? I think I told a couple of them. Okay, God, it's actually them. They're like, you're on my list. And then there was a form we had so I could sign and we could have videos and it was like sitting on my table.

Oh, everybody like news. Okay, God, it was great. We had fun drinking. It was one of our entrance birthdays and we did some war. We did some shots. I didn't do my shot. And we had watermelon beer and it was super fun.

Yesterday that guy that I was talking about, that I was hanging out with for a few days, he was in town for a few days and we had some nice times together and he actually set me the most beautiful flowers. They were really gorgeous. They were like, epically beautiful flowers. I'm so, I'm so, when was the time a guy set me flowers? I cannot remember. And it's been way too long and And I actually texted him to thank him.

And I'm like, you know what? If a guy sends you flowers, it's time to call him. You pick up the phone and you call him, think. I think. I think, maybe I'm old school. Maybe I'm old school. I'm like, so I called him. And I was like, they're so beautiful.

He's like, were they hydrangeas? And I guess they were. They're all purpley and beautiful. And I just thought that was such a night. And I'm like, I never buy flowers, but I love flowers. He's like, women shouldn't buy themselves flowers. And I thought that was such a night and like I never buy flowers but I love flowers. He's like, women shouldn't buy themselves flowers and I thought that was sweet. And I remember, man, I love flowers. Do you love flowers? I love flowers, yes. And it's true and I always wanted

by flowers and I'm like, oh, they're expensive and do I want to buy them myself? I'm going home for the story again with my own flowers and my own, you know, TV dinner. That's my life, no. But, so I thought it was very nice of him. I thought there was like an old school nice guy send you flowers. So I like him. He's cool. He's cool.

Yeah, whatever. OK. And then also, I have to tell you, so OK, we had a show a few weeks ago with a woman named Susan Bratton and Tim Bratton on the show, and they were talking about expanded orgasm practice where the man learns to, oh, did they call it home, too? they call it home where you're like oh mean We the the clitoris if you didn't know is broken into all these quadrant

So not only is like this little thing you got to find but there's like part of the clitoris and there's this practice That they practice that it's called expanded orgasm or some people call it Oming where they massage the clitoris and it's very like you and You take women to another place of orgasm and you really the man's their energy is shared and it just you've like longer stronger intense orgasms would you say that's what you got from that so anyway her husband I know this is gonna send kind of freaky but he's really good at he's really good at omengue and she's like they have some kind of arrangement and she's like he wants to owe me he would owe me like he would go down And she's like, they have some kind of arrangement. And she's like, he wants to owe me, he would owe me.

Like, he would go down. Like, it's not sexual. We don't make out. We don't do anything. Like, I think I'm probably naked or my pants are down. And then he's massaging my clitoris. But it's literally for this practice that I've been hearing about for years.

But I kind of feel like I should do. But he emailed me again. And he's like, do you want to do it? And I'm still in love with it. Well, here's another thing. So then another guy today called me about it. So another guy I met when we went to the, oh, oh, oh, big guest on the show tomorrow,

who wrote a book about all about this. Nicole Daydon, she wrote a book called Slow Sex. She's gonna be on the show tomorrow. I'm so excited for her to be on the show. She wrote a book about it. And so I was at her book launch. And it was, he's one of the dudes I met there. And he was like, I'm just learning, oh, me, learning Oming like guys take this practice and I know what you're

thinking you're like dudes of course that's enough for a class where I get to massage a woman whatever but it's really we're gonna get into it tomorrow because I don't want to butcher with the whole philosophy and what it's about but it's I think it's more than just dudes wanting to get touch a woman's clitoris I think because I think it's fair to say that it's a much more like spiritual emotional like evolving your whole sexuality type of practice So this other guy Called me on the phone today because he's emailed me twice and I've ignored him

But let me just practice it by saying I Met him at the party and he and he he was cute I mean he wasn't not cute and he was nice he was like, I just signed up for Omin and I need a partner. Would you want to be my partner? And I was like, sure, call me. Yeah, because at the moment, I'm thinking I should do this. For sex with them, I just feel like there's

a lot of things that I still want to and need to experience for myself and for my listeners, because I like to experience things and share them with you. So I said, yes. But then he's been calling and emailing it. I've been avoiding him. You know, you do that, but things that you don't really want to deal with, you just totally avoid. So calling and emailing it. I've been avoiding him. You know, you do that, the things that you don't really want to deal with you just totally

avoid. So I was completely avoiding it. And he's like, I know this is like my third email to you. And you probably don't want to do it anymore, but I'm trying again. And I was like, OK, here's my number. And then he called me. So we talked on the phone today. And he's like, do you want to just get together to do it or do you want to talk about it

first? I'm like, I think we should talk first because I don't really know you. So he's actually coming in the office on Friday and we're going to go for coffee. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. It's a minute I figured I'm not committing to anything. And this is just again, this orgasmic practice for you, massage the woman. And I know it sounds freaky and weird, whatever, but I want to learn.

I want to have a coffee and see if I would jive with him. And while we're having our lattes, I can see if I could to have a coffee and see if I would drive with him and while we're having our Lot days I can see if I could picture him touching my clitoris and then I can know if I want him to do it or not and move forward with that So you will I'll keep you posted on that Oming partner. How do I acquire one honey? I think I've got a coming out of I got Oming partners I'm out of the ward Oming part totally do you want to I've got another one I got two guys that emailed me about Oming and then the third is her husband. Yeah. I think you should be omed. I think all of our interns should be omed. We're going to figure it out but tomorrow's show is going to be epic and it's a free show Friday so everyone can listen to it tomorrow. Which is going to be awesome. Okay,

today's show, I love the topic today's show because I think we cannot relate. Do you have any of those moments during sex where you just go awkward? That was awkward. That was weird the way he stuck his finger in this orifice or that was weird the way he made that noise. Did he just have an orgasm or die? I can't tell. Just awkward moments. Weird things that happened during sex. We're going to get into those awkward moments and how you deal with them., we're going to get into those awkward moments and how you deal with them. Plus, we're going to be reading the emails. Anyone can email me through my website. So easy, you go to Ask Emily or you can email me at feedback at sexwithemle.com. And some of the topics include cheating via text, having sex with an old high school fling,

and dating someone who has been abused. And we're going to get into that minute. But first, we're going to do some sex in the news. What's in the news? What's in the news? Okay. Lots of condoms stories in the news. Justin Bieber receives a shipment of condoms from Nouveau. Justin Bieber has reportedly received a shiptive of comments from Nouveau brand condoms. The company said to send the safe sex prophylactic to the baby singer due to his recent steamy pda with girlfriend Selena Gomez They give away over 200,000 condoms of the year to prevent teen pregnancy And they are probably looking for publicity, but also may have be bruncey but seem like Selena Gomez's best interest at heart Because the company wants them to for they want them for campaign for safe sex and effort abstinence

uh... so i don't know if just to be bris of rizzi saying he's a virgin do you know i don't know i mean don't think he's a very like all these teen star saying the virgin so they want them to do a campaign i think that we need a kind of company and will do a campaign for you we're not going to have since we're going to be like safe sex get laid and and uh... these are the good condoms, bad condoms. We're going to do a whole condom review eventually. And we're going to give out sex with only condoms to people. But anyway, I think that we need a condom sponsor. So just call us.

That's our list, right? Kelsey? Okay. So that's Justin Bieber. He got shipments of condoms. That's awesome. I hope that he uses them. It doesn't get her pregnant. Although it'd be good story if he did But I don't want that for these underage youth or a thing under a child are they 18 16 17 How old is Justin Bieber? He's like a baby. Should you be 17 or something? I think he's probably six and he's not attractive My nieces are so dry. It's a baby. If I was like a junior high I was in junior high I'll be in that. Yeah, my niece is obsessed. Yeah, the hair, you know.

Okay, ad campaign promises sex with a condo. An upstage brokerage firm launched a new ad campaign pulling a raunchy twist on apartment hunting. The new firm is marketing their pads to young professionals who are raking in the dough and are looking for something extra on the side. The spicy tagline for these new developments are, I don't remember his name, but his apartment. It's followed by one of four racing graphics, including one with the outline of a woman's

legs and feet and heels lying on top of a man's lower half. The company's website is asking readers to write where they hooked up by emailing in their stories. One woman wrote how she ended up in a beautiful penthouse apartment. I would have killed for that kitchen. So it's just a new, sexy cue. Everyone's using sex to sell something right now. It seems.

Sex sells. But for a condo campaign. Okay, children's, Trojan vibrations truck provokes candid discussion about sex. So this is about the Trojan truck that we talked about. A few weeks ago, it's giving out condoms as commuters made their way home from work along Avenue A in the East Village, New York on Friday night. A small group of women and purple miniskirts climbed out of a purple and white truck that read Trojan vibrations on its hood.

The good vibrations trucks as it's called was promoting the new vibrator, the Trojan Twister. I love that they're all coming out of the vibrator sounds like 90 times. What is the Trojan Twister? I don't know. It doesn't even say what it is Sounds like something we should review. I think we got to review it. Oh Oh, here it is

The video you have to go to their Facebook page and if you like it you get a free four-speed vibrating penis ring a Four-speed ring Okay, if you want a vibrating ring, let me just tell you that vibrating rings I think are the best invention because the C-ring has been around for really, really long time and there are lots of times they're really for men to help them with premature ejaculation to help them stay hard or longer but in recent years there's been this influx of there's been an influx of vibrating rings and now you can buy them at Wal-Ring's like disposable you can buy like higher end ones.

Like if you go to jimmyjane.com, we went with yesterday, they've got a great one that I love. And also, adamanee.com has a ton of them. And you can get 50% off one of them. If you go to adamanee.com and use coupon code Emily at checkout, you also get three free gifts and a free adult DVD and free shipping. So anyway, these sea rings are awesome because but now the new ones have a little vibrator on the end of it. So it vibrates on the woman's clitoris, well it also vibrates on

his penis and a lot of men think that a lot of men love the vibration. Like vibrations, not just for women anymore. You know, it's like men like the vibration of the on their penis as well as the woman because it hits when they're having intercourse hits the women on her clitoris. So they're awesome. So everyone's making them now and Trojan's got a four-speed one. Have you used a one night, Kelsey? I have not, but I have one sitting in like my nightstand. Honey, gotta whip it out. No, I know. God, no pressure. Yesterday actually was just

looking at it. Maybe this weekend. It's almost a weekend. Tomorrow's Friday. I love them. Okay. This is kind of depressing, but I'm going to read it anyway. But what a way to firt to happen. A woman's hand severed during yacht sex. I don't feel bad for her. She's on a yacht.

She's fine. I feel bad, but no, but I mean, I don't feel bad. She was on a yacht, but that kind of sucks. Like, you're on a yacht, and you're having sex. And what could be better? Oh my god. And then she severes her hand. It appears they were engaged in a passion act in the bedroom

where at some stage, the sink broke. So she was doing the whole leaning on the sink on the boat thing, and the sink broke and severed her hands. I wonder how long it'll take her to have sex again. I don't know. After six hour operation, it was like, 10 years of therapy. Exactly, like therapy, like, oh my god,

don't have sex with a bathroom. And that would just suck if you were having sex on a yacht. Your whole day ruined. Like, what if it was like a really sunny And that would just suck if you were having sex on a yacht. Your whole day ruined. Like, what if it was like a really sunny, beautiful day and they were about to go for a ride? And then her hand fell off. That sucks. Socks, sorry about that.

OK, Jalow speaks. I loved myself too much to say. Apparently, that means she was not in a good place in a good relationship. To quote sex in the city, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love you, the you, you love, well, that's just fabulous. Meaning if we all love ourselves, you have to love yourself before someone else can

love you. I always say that. That's really true. If you don't love yourself and you're like, I'm fat, I'm lazy, I'm this, I'm not good at this, I'm not good at that. That's what you're gonna be projecting onto the world. But if you're like, I love myself for all my goodness and all my flaws, just I really, truly, truly love myself.

And it takes a long time to get there to a place where you love yourself. Because there's a lot of times you go through self-blowening and hating yourself, I don't know if you go through that. But a lot of people do. But if you just love yourself, that's when you get, that's when you can find, I think, a partner when you're in a good place.

So Jay-Lo anyway is saying saying she's all about that now She opened up to vanity fair about her split with Mark Anthony and explains how she wasn't gonna settle for anything less than she knew that she deserved It's not that I don't love myself before Sometimes we don't realize that we are compromising ourselves to understand that a person is not good for you or that the person is not Treating you in the right way or that he is not doing the right thing for himself. If I stay that I'm not doing the right thing for me, I love myself enough to walk away from that now. Sometimes it doesn't work and that's sad, but I remain internal optimist about love I believe in love. So he was treating her badly is what she's trying to say. Mark Ethany obviously was

not treating her very well, right? That's what we think. I haven't heard I don't know I hear that he's I You've heard every both side of the story, but at least she's going back to love and probably having lots of sex right now If you were JLo newly single like hot career on American Idol or whatever she's doing she looks good She's like she does look good. She's like out there like doing stuff. Get them. He's got to get some I'm sure she has no problem, but they got the kids now and all that stuff to deal with so Whatever she'll be fine. Okay, let's get in some emails. Oh first the poll New poll, well, I have the I don't have the new poll, but I have the results for the last poll that was up

This is what we asked we asked what is the sexiest city in America? The answer the choices were Las Vegas San Francisco, New York, and Miami. Sexiest city. What do you think? This is surprising. The one that came in the lowest, the one that came in last, for sexiest, Las Vegas, 13%. Because you kind of associate Las Vegas with like, with just sexiness, but it's also kind of cheesiness. So it's also kind of like crazy, crazy. You're running around you're getting drunk or whatever. I don't know if it's like sexy, but they 13% of people said Las Vegas. 13% of people said San Francisco. It's kind of

a really sexy. We're not that sexy. 20% said New York City in a whopping 47% said Miami. Yeah, that's right. I agree. Miami is really hot. It's like always it's like white sandy beaches. There's models everywhere. It's always warm There's every restaurant You can send the beach to watch models like walk by and like couples and happy people and it's scantily clad and like then There's like tepno music and like bars playing like all day long like on the strip on the on the beach like South Beach is pretty sexy. So I'm down that's what our listeners say 547 percent. Do we even new pull up there?

We don't do we? Okay well we're gonna have one up and you're gonna check it out because it's gonna be up soon. Alright let's get into the emails. We got for today. Okay Emily, you have convinced me. I drove from Happy Valley State College in Pennsylvania to my home in Southwestern, Pennsylvania, and for the three hours of being on the road, I listened to all the podcasts that were snippets of each of the shows. To answer your question, hell yeah, it was great for me. Finally got into your website and became friends with benefits member because I love your show and my personal sexuality has been reawakened.

My second half of my 50s could be so good for me. Signed Rob. I love Rob! He's a new friends with benefits member. Thank you Rob. That is just the kind. That's why I get up every day. That's why I wake up in the morning.

Right there Kelsey. I wake up in the morning because he, his sexuality has been awakened by sex with Emily. And I don't want to like go off on a rant here, but I might. This show has been listened to by millions of people. We've received hundreds of thousands of emails, we've 100,000 listers and emails and people who've said the same thing that by listening to this show, your sex life is actually improved. And because we give you tips every day that you can use, not just like weird, tantric movements that you can't really do, but like,

real practical skills for moving forward. I give a lot of advice. And so anyway, the fact that he became a friend's benefits member, I love that. And he re-awakened himself in his 50s. Nice. So perfect. Never too late to be learning about sex.

Never, never, never. Now, people were in their 50s. Like 50s like the new 80s. It's where to go. You think? Yeah. 80s and 50s, how does it go? No, but really? Never never never never people are in their fifties like fifties like the new 80 Swear to God you think yeah 80s and 50 out of the go no, but really swear to God people of 50 60 70s people are having sex Like wait I mean they're even saying sexually transmitted diseases have gone up for people over 50 Yeah, I'm not used to the whole like thing the kind of thing. Yeah, but oh, we're control columns like whatever what disease What's this little like they crab crawling on my peepic care? I don't know um, but maybe, but control columns are like whatever what disease what's this little like they crab crawling on my pupa care

I don't know but maybe if they got crabs I hope they didn't but they're getting other kinds of diseases. So just everyone to use condoms Okay, hi Emily. Thanks for your show. I download every one of your podcasts and listen to them at work They have a lot to do with how I get through my days and help soon with my relationship I need advice on how to do with my boyfriend We have been together for over two years and we're both very in love with each other. He's a DJ and Knight, which involves him being around

a lot of, let's say, fluszy girls. I've recently been sneaking around and looking at his phone messages and he flirts very heavily with these random girls. I know he makes a lot of new connections to promote his nightclubs, but he does things like ask them to send him pictures. He's where she's been with him for two years, okay.

I've tried to bring this up without mentioning that I've spied on his phone and he doesn't admit too much of it and always reserves me that the girls from the club means nothing to him, which I know they don't, but it obviously bothers me that he sends these girls sexual energy so easily, and then doesn't have sex with me back home. Do I tell them that look at his phone and just confront him about it? Thanks for what you do, Addy from Canada. Okay, Addy, this is not good. Listen, he's flirting, he's cheating on you, he's a DJ.

I don't know if he's cheating on you, but he's a DJ. I, I, from personal experience, not personally, but I have many friends who've dated DJs, and this is just what you know about DJs. It's like dating someone like first year at a law school and they got a job at a law, because I'm not going to just stereotype. And they got a job at a law school, you know, like first year lawyers have to work like, you know, a hundred hour weeks and it's crazy.

DJs have to flirt with women and stay out to a foreign the morning, and that's part of the whole thing and the whole ego of getting more people to listen to their music and they flirt and they love it and they love the nightlife. He's a nightlife guy. He's a DJ. He's into the nightlife. He wants to be out to 4 a.m. every night and he loves the attention that he's getting from being a DJ and it fills his ego.

So I don't even know that he's cheating on you, but I have a feeling that he's used to if you found multiple texts, he's texting with girls, that's just inappropriate because you've been together for over two years. So I would just say, yeah, I mean, I guess honestly these days everyone looks at everyone's phone. I'm not saying you should look at the phone. I'm saying you should talk to them first, but he lied to you. So you could say, you know what?

I happen to see your phone and I'm not down with this. You're texting these women what's going on and he's going to have a million dollars. He's just a friend. He's my friend's good friend's good friend. I really do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, but I have several friends who've dated, several men like this, and seriously, DJs, not your best bet. They're into the nightlife and now, and women and flusy, flusy, you call them flusy women, they kind of are.

And I'm not saying that you don't have any wrong DJ music, it's when it gets past 2 a.m. and then they're out till 4 and they're all partying and it's just, I don't know, what do you think about DJs Kelsey? I love DJs. Oh you're younger. Okay I'm social manager at my house. I always talk to DJs. But aren't the DJs like Flirty and couldn't you feel like you could get with them at any time? Yeah. No. Because they're the DJ. No. You're boyfriend and these women feel you feel like you could see but them. I have. They do this thing where they're like oh I need to store my equipment in your room you know. Oh, I need to store my equipment in your room, you know

See what I mean the great guys, okay, let me let me preface by saying DJ at a party would love him to be the one sitting next to me at a dinner party love the DJ He's super fun. I'm just saying he's not your Settle down with guy. Well, he's a DJ. What does menist you some DJ? Yeah, he does I'm just saying, but I just think if you're catching flirty texts and he's your guy, no matter who, what, memories of DJ or not, but it's not a good thing. Yeah, there's sending photos. Like, why is he asking another woman for a photo? You should never be asking another woman for a photo.

There is no, no excuse for that. If he's your boyfriend of two years. So I think you gotta talk to him and you gotta just cop to the fact that you looked at his phone because that's how else are you gonna do it? And he's probably gonna give him a million excuses, but again, I don't think it's healthy. And I know the whole DJ thing

and I know the late night thing and you love the DJ because the DJs are love. It's like the bartender love the way. My boyfriend though, so not a problem. But like the bartenders are similar. I'm not again, I have very good friends who are bartenders and DJs. Love them to pieces.

They have the great personalities. They're out there, but they're also run by their ego. They love the tips, the flirting, the whatever. The people love my music, so therefore they love me. And it's an illegal thing. But we did have a hot little bartender last night. We went out for drinks last night to get them all psyched for speed dating.

I meant to get you psyched. Little too psyched. Little too psyched. And and the bartender because it was Michelle's birthday bought us drinks Yeah, he bought her a drink and then he bought us a whole round of shots So nice anything what what's up? We get it. It's like a lemon drop So kind of lemon chopped right thing. I made you do mine. I know I suppose my mistake I also finish everyone's beer. I know it's so good So we're gonna get all into speed dating. If you've ever been curious about speed dating,

I think next week we're going to be doing the speed dating show on Thursday or Friday. So we are doing daily shows now because of our Wednesday. So hopefully we'll check back. OK. Hey, Emily and Menace. My name is Manny from London, UK. I love the show and your guys' hips are helpful indeed.

Menace mentioned he started a dubstep program called Wabble Wednesday, much kudos. As living in the birthplace of dubstuffs, it's truly insane to see it spreader on the world. So dubstep is just, you know dubstep means it's really interesting. Okay, he is a quick question though. Is it ever weird to have sex with a high school friend after years of barely talking? Okay, this is from Manny from the UK. Is it weird? I don't think it's weird. I don't... I would not. Weird? I could tell you weird sex stuff I've heard. Having sex with an old flame or someone you knew in high school, not weird. Happens all the time. Happens at the reunion. Happens

when you're all home for Thanksgiving break, when you're home for summer break, and you're home, and you sleep with them. I don't think that that is particularly weird at all. Do you? No. No, you see them one night, you're all meeting up again, you have a teacher that's in high school. I mean, again, I don't think you should have sex right away and rush into it,

but to hang out with a friend from my school that you had a connection with in high school and you never had sex maybe, now you want to. What about your high school boyfriend? Is that a little weird? No, but my high school boyfriend, I'd do a face- want to what about your high school boyfriend is that a little weird no but my high school boyfriend i don't have a master day i actually would have sex with me now i hope it doesn't let us show but it was because he was my first yeah yeah we'd have to go back and have sex with your first again i would never want

to do that right he's my first guy they lost my virginity to brought me a message on facebook yesterday random so anyway um but i don't think it's weird to have sexual high school friends happens all the time. If people hook up all the time from high school because you like, or there's like the unrequited flame that you never could get in high school, and then you, I have so many friends of stories that the people have written in that you, like you seen again

five years later and you're both single, and it's like finally your time because she was dating the captain of the football team when you were in high school, but now she's free or whatever. So it's just awesome. I don't think it's weird. I'm not going to label you weird, manny as much as you want me to. Not going to say go for it, go for the high school fling.

Okay, hey, Emily, I've been listening to your show for about a month now, and I find it very entertaining and informative. Keep up the good work. I'm 25, and for the last four years or so, I've been somewhat of a man-hor. Mostly because it's hard to find a girl who can keep my attention. I finally found a woman who I'm very interested in, but we have still haven't had sex in the last couple months we've been dating. The farthest we've gotten is make-out sessions, fully clothed, even though she has slept

in my place many times. It turns out she was in a long-distance relationship, long relationship two years ago with a man who abused her both mentally and physically, when she didn't want to have sex with her, he would force it on her ununderstandably. She remains pretty heavily traumatized by that situation. During a conversation about it, I asked someone, I asked if she'd ever been turned out by me and she said, no. Ooh, a lot of my gratification comes when I was someone comes from knowing that I am

pleasing them. Should I continue being patient? Should I hook up and not tell her? Should I have the same conversation with the risk of losing interest? Help! Thanks in advance, Nick from Dallas, Texas. Well, Nick, here's the deal. Okay, you've been a man,

or you finally find a woman you're interested in, and how long have you guys, how long have you been together? She's been a relationship blah, blah, blah. I think you got to have a talk with her. It sounds like she's got issues. She sleeps at your house. You make I'm sure there's heavy petting involved as my mom always said. Do you remember I say that? Have you even heard

that? I have heard that. Were you heavy petting in the car, Emily? Like if I was with a boy. I'm like, yes mommy was touching my boobies. So anyway, um, so you've been like probably just going through the motions she's been sleeping over. She's she just told you that she didn't find you attract or didn't wasn't turned on by you and it sounds like she was in a pretty abusive relationship so I wouldn't set you to hook up and not tell her because I would further abuse her more that would be dishonest but I think you should tell her that if she doesn't start to open up sexually that you're gonna need that that it might not be the

right match or maybe she needs issues or she needs some therapy. But I really think that you should talk to about it rather than just going out and sleeping with someone else because what is the point of being with someone if you're going to sleep with someone else? You're saying, you finally found a woman who you're interested in, but we haven't had sex yet. So I also find that interesting. Here's a woman you're totally interested in, but you have not had sex.

Kudos to you for waiting for a while. I think it's great when people wait and don't rush into sex, but you have to know the whole picture. Like if the sex is going to be good, I know someone who recently waited three months, steps sex with someone, they had sex, wasn't so good, repeatedly they had sex a few times for a few weeks, the relationships over. So you know, the sex there was like all these issues. So I'm just saying, sounds like there's a lot going on here, you've convinced yourself that she's the one and yet you're already thinking of cheating on her and you've never had sex with her. So I'd say you have a talk with her. Have a hard,

hard talk with her where you're real and you're honest and you come from your place of what you need and you're like, I'm not blaming her, not saying you, not you did this and you did that, but just, you know, I'm feeling like maybe there's some stuff going on for you. Sexually, it really makes me feel good to turn you on and I feel like I'm not doing that. And you could also just ask her point blank, what turned you on? What makes you hot? What can I do to make you feel good?

And open up the dialogue there, because a lot of times, you don't know. You know, men learn from their last girlfriends, and unfortunately, that's a really bad place to learn. Because every single woman is different. So that's what I got to say there. Anything out there you got to say say that, that, Kels? Yeah, no.

Have you seen Dexter, the show Dexter? No, you know me, no television. There's actually a character in this show that's sexually abused. And she can't even go near having sex. Yeah. Like, it's a huge problem. It's a huge problem. I mean, it says that he forced her to have sex.

That's basically could be seen as rape. And I would say that she needs therapy a sap. That's a really good point Calcy like I I didn't I don't know if I said that enough But I always say people need therapy So sometimes I think I say too much, but this woman really truly needs therapy or maybe there's a school counselor Someone she could talk to about about what happened to her because the these kind of things that happened to women early on in life You know, she's in her 20 sounds like, you know, she's in her 20s, sounds like you're 25, she's in her 20s, they don't go away. People think that time heals wounds

and it's really not time, it's work. It's getting into the wounds, what happened, how did it make me feel, how did it all go down, reliving it, it's sometimes really painful, but that's how you release it. And otherwise, you'll just be carrying around these issues around and she's probably developed all these issues around her sexuality and feeling comfortable, which is, so I wouldn't let

your ego get burned either. You're saying that you feel bad because you're not pleasing or I'd say she's shut down sexually right now and she's unable to be turned on. So that's what I think. That's my story. Okay. Dear Emily, I'm in, okay, I'll do this one. Okay.

Hi, you very beautiful lady. Do you ever do any shows on the topic because of exhibitionism and do you take calls during your show? Thanks, Marcus. Marcus, we do take calls. I meant to give out the phone number. I always forget. You could call in right now, 415-9927-392.

We just started taking calls. Okay, do we show a topic of exhibitionism? Yeah, we do, we do a, we do a fantasy show, all about fantasies. And do you know the top fantasies for men and women within their top 10 was exhibition, it was having sex, outdoors, having people watch. And we also did a show last Friday, which was fetish Friday talking about that

and a fantasy show. So I would say, check out our shows, but exhibitionism is very common for men and women to want. So it's a top fantasy, right? Didn't we find that? Yeah, we should do a whole show on it and talk about like voyeurism. voyeurism, we should.

Let's write that down, voyeurism show. Thanks, so maybe we'll do one just for you Marcus. Because you wrote it a sin. We appreciate it so much. Thank you. OK. Hey, Emily, what is the best way to find a friend with benefits? I think it's a road to the sand. We appreciate it so much. Thank you. Okay. Hey Emily, what is the best way to find a friend with benefits? I am a middle age and find the supposedly free dating sites to be frustrating.

I am married but separated. We live in the same house. Ooh. For financial reasons, for the time being, also for the kid's sake, I know that eventually it will have to end some time. My wife hasn't touched me in seven years. Ah, Nat that I want her any longer, any suggestions we appreciated,

Ken from Palabato, California. Okay, Ken, you're living with your ex, you're sharing a room, I hope you're not sharing a room anymore, but how do you find a friend with benefits? I'd say they're organic. I mean, I would not recommend going on Craigslist, like misconnections or not misconnections.

What's it called? Craigslist, casual encounters. You know, you could go on Craigslist casual encounters, but it's always a risk. You could find people who want sex right now and in the moment. But friends with benefits really have to evolve. You really have to find someone that you like and that your friends with.

You become friends. You become acquaintances. And then you become friends. And both of you really don't want to commit them right now and you're both okay with not having like a no strings attached relationship. It really is a mutually beneficial relationship if it works for both parties. It doesn't always work for both parties because a lot of times one person wants more than the next or you start out thinking you're like, oh no we're cool, we're just friends benefits,

that's cool. You can have sex the way you want, not sex over you on, hopefully we'll have sex together at the same time, want to, and it'll all work out. It doesn't always work out that way. Someone else falls in love, someone wants more, someone finds someone else outside the relationship. But I would say how you find it, just however you're dating right now. I would recommend dating online, and maybe you'll find someone that way that maybe you're

sexually compatible with, but you don't see as a long-term partner, and maybe she'll feel the same way, and that could become your friends with benefits. Everyone is meeting online. We decided to pull about this, too. Wasn't it the top way people were meeting was online, I think? Yeah. So, or through mutual friends, but I think it's the more honest you are. It looks like you can only do a friend's with benefits relationship right now because you're

going through a divorce and separation and you're living with your wife. So, I would just be honest with people and just say when you go out with them and just be like, you know, I'm looking for something casual now. Or, you know, maybe I think my my experience with friends with benefits relationships are they just sort of evolve into that. You can't really start out and be like, we're going to be friends with benefits, but a lot of times they just evolve from sleeping together and you both have different agendas or, you know, you're not into each other. You don't want a long-term thing and you both want to just have sex. Yeah, the sex is great, but the sex is amazing.

But you don't want them just to shut the hell up when it's over. So good luck to you. I would say data online. I mean, seriously, it is how I go to match.com, I go to OKCupid, I guess I go to, what other sites are people using today? I guess those are the big ones, right? Plenty of fish.

I'm Palo Alto, there's so many people I know, single people down there. And so a lot of divorcees, too. So I would think that a divorcee with kids, as well, who's really busy, and maybe she's going through something. And you guys are both kind of in the same place. She's got her kids in her life. You've got your kids in your life.

And maybe you can fuck it up that way. How about that? Let's get in some awkward moments. Yay. Yeah, awkward moments during sex. OK, today's topic is amazing. I'm so excited to talk about it because this is the stuff that happens. There are awkward moments during sex.

It just happens. Like, weird shit happens, and you have to like, you have to get through it. So we're just going to talk about some of the common awkward moments and some suggestions about how to handle them. And here we go. OK, awkward moment number one, poor timing. I think we're referring to premature ejaculation. Yeah.

When this happens, he's more embarrassed than you are. Instead of berating him or acting hurt, ask for rain check. You may also remind about women sometimes, though climax a lot, despite the heat of the moment. Bottom line, acknowledge the awkward moment and move on. This is no time for shame or blame. The last thing you want to do when a man ejaculates sooner than you'd like him to is to make him feel bad about it.

It's awkward, it's weird, he is blamed, he believe me, he feels, he is making himself feel worse than you could even make him feel like the two of you It would be him and he's already berating himself and feels like less of a man You want to do the best part to be the honey. It's okay. I happen to all of us sometimes like women don't orgasm Tonight's men orgasm too quickly and it just happens And I think you just got to brush it off and be like no don't care. It was awesome felt really good done move on If you make a big deal out of it then it becomes a big deal And then I think it actually helps perpetuate men who are premature ejaculators. I think premature ejaculators, a lot of it is psychological. I mean, there's physical aspects to it. And there's a lot

of stuff we've talked to Ed Nazim on the show about what you could do to stop that. But there are just times when you just do it and you're premature ejaculate. And the more you make them feel bad about it or he makes them self feel bad about it, it's a lot of it is mental. And he'll start, every time getting nervous, like, oh my god, I'm gonna be ejaculated. I'm gonna be ejaculated. Oh, there, I'm, I pre-jagged it. So, what should he do to make it better then?

Well, they're always like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. Well, I think he can solve. Kagle exercises are amazing. I, Kagle exercises for men and women. I have an app on the iPhone called Kagle Camp. It's for your iPad or your iPhone. And I just got another email about state people are exchanging theircamp. It's for your iPad or iPhone. And I just got another email about to say people are exchanging their lives. It helps me. You exercise

your PC muscles, which are those P-stopping muscles, and you stop and start the flow where you stop and start the flow of urine, and you practice doing contractions and releasing, contracting and releasing. You can also use a penis ring that can help sometimes. You can also read a book. There's a book that's amazing called the Multi-Orgasmic Man. And it's the best book for men who are suffering from premature ejaculation.

Okay. How's that? Upward moment number two, someone passes gas. Ooh. This happened out in Sex and the City. We were, that, do you remember that episode when Carrie, she was with Mr. Big and she had, she farted and she even, she just like, all of a sudden

didn't hear from him for three days and she was like, oh my god, I farted, it's over. You know that? Yeah, I do. It wasn't too bad though, like I feel like. It wasn't too bad. She made a big deal out of me. Well, why did she freak out?

I just think it happens and you laugh it off. You just, it's not a big deal. And after you're with the dude or a woman a woman who is going to be grossed out because everybody farts and everybody poops. Isn't there a book everybody poops for like two-year-olds? I teach them about poop. There's a book called Everybody Pops. Everybody does.

They do. You're saying you don't, and your girlfriend says she doesn't. She does. So according to expert, the average person passes guests about 15 to 25 times per day and the friction of sexual intercourse can sometimes increase the gas. Next time it occurs, just don't let it kill the mood. Instead, shrug your shoulders, apologize for any smell and change a subject.

Or just laugh it off. Yeah, I have a sense of humor about it. Don't make a big deal and don't judge, we all do it! Has that ever happened to you? Um, I actually had a guy who farted during sex one. Happens, happens what happened? Did you like don't with him or no? Um, I don't know.

You've dumped him. I don't want to have to be done. I don't want to be dumped. I dumped him for like a whole two to three days. So that wasn't the only reason that you dumped him. No, it was, it didn't help. I was saying that it's not a big deal and she's dumping guys for farting. It didn't happen.

No, it was, it was like he was just not good at all. I mean, this, come on, let's be honest. We're down there. We're doing stuff. It gets all wet and gooey and you're going to get a squeafing. That's how we're going to get to that in a minute. We've got a squeafing on here, actually. We're going to get to that in a minute, right?

Awkward moment, squeafing. Let's just get into it. Almost everyone was experienced in from a trapped air sensation in her vagina, which can lead to to noises that sound a lot like gas. If so, it's common and when it happens to you just own up to your air in your vagina and giggle about it. In the grand scheme of things, it's not that big of a deal and a loving, accepting relationship can weather it all.

Dude, it's not a big deal happens to us because we're wet and there's air trapped in them. We're wet because you turned us on and your penis is inside of us or your fingers and then moving inside and out and it makes traps air bubbles and we make a noise. Big deal. You should be psyched. You should be psyched. We're wet.

We're dead, we're making a quake big deal. I don't want to hear about it anymore. Tired of it. Tired of who cares. Tired of who cares. Who should care about that? Okay. Ocran number number three.

He suggests something you're uncomfortable with. Just because you love each other doesn't mean you'll always have the same idea about what about what you want and bad. When he suggests something that you're comfortable with, it can be a real buzz kill. When you're something that you're uncomfortable with, it can be a buzzkill. Instead of shutting them down, try for common ground. So here's the thing. He says, I want you to dress up like little mermaid. You're not done with little mermaid. That doesn't turn you on. You don't like the webbed feed or whatever. If possible, see if you can negotiate the fantasy. So it

includes elements that turn you on too. Perhaps you've always had a fantasy. You're like, you know what? I kind of like the schoolgirl thing. I've got this great little plaid skirt and I've got these boots and that turns me on. So could we maybe do that? You know, maybe he's into something else. You need to negotiate the fantasies. Or whatever reason to. I'm talking about costumes.

Maybe he's got a fantasy of sex outside and usage could suggest how we do sex start with sex on our back porch in your fence, then area. Or whatever. You can start. It doesn't have to mean that it doesn't mean that it's a deal breaker. It doesn't mean that like, oh, his fantasy is not like my fantasy and oh my god, we're going to fall apart, negotiate.

Right? Not done with that, but I might be done with this. All relationships are negotiation. If his fantasy is going to areas that make you uncomfortable, you may need to nibble his ear and say, you know how, and you got a great imagination, could we use it to find something that turns me on too? That way you're passing it, you're praising him as well as encouraging him instead of shutting him down.

Because so many times men just feel completely shut down during sex. And it's really hard to build them back up. I mean, men are fragile creatures and they always, they really do many of them and women, of course, but they want to please, they want to do the right things and they really want to talk to you about what your fantasies are and they really have fantasies that they want to act out of you. And so they finally got up the courage to talk to you about what your fantasies are and they really have fantasies that they want to act out on you. And so they finally got up the courage to talk to you about it and even if it's something you're not done with, you don't want to bust his balls unless that's his fantasy.

Maybe you do. But no, you don't want to make him feel bad and insecure about it. So just like let you know, you can just say, honey, let's try to find something together. I think that's a great solution rather than making me like, you're so disgusting, you're so dirty. I never want to do that. Oh my God. What's wrong with you? Like, that's as big as nightmare and that's gonna wreak havoc on him.

Yeah, what happens when they just go for it though? You know what I mean? When they just go for it, I think that's inappropriate. I always say that every time, every sexual act that you want to try with your partner, like no matter what it is, you should always start slow. So let's say you want to spank your partner. Yeah.

Start with a light tap. See how she reacts or he reacts. Yeah, not the like. Don't just wham, wham, wham, wham. Or if you want to like play with your nipples, like start with like a nice little pinch rather than like getting out the clothes pins and pinching you know, I mean, you should just really start slow.

And that's what you should do. And I just would say you've got to gauge your reaction. You've got women are supremely good at reading people. Men are, men could do it too, but men, it's more of a learn skill. So you're really doing sex. One of the most important things you have to do during any kind of sex you're having is you have to pay attention to her body movement. So to her movements, how did she react when you did that thing? Like if she was like, I said, ouch, you know, my back off.

But don't just force something on her. Say answer your question? Yes. Awkward moment number four, accidental injury. Okay, think about it. Accidental biting, scratching, a jagged toenail that cuts the skin, a pulled muscle, a leg cramp. Have you ever had any of these? Yeah, actually. Like what? Well, that or when they're like on top of you and they're like crushing something or like your arm or like

You're like trying to pull it out and you can't and stuff like that. It's always so weird You're like, oh, like you're in the middle of this hot moment. You're like, oh My leg will cramp up. Right. So you just laugh, right? You don't make a big deal out of it. It's not like unless it's hard And then you got to get up and take care of it. Yeah, if you really hurt and those blood like get up and take care of it but You know, not a big deal. What about I just passed over this one unless it's hard, then you gotta get up and take care of it. If you really hurt and there's blood, get up and take care of it. But, you know, not a big deal. What about, I just passed over this one, but what about, did you have a guy suggest

something that you want to come to with? They usually just go for it. That's why you asked the question. That's why. Okay. Yeah, no. I wouldn't say that guy should just go for it. I'd say, okay, let's say you're interested in anal even.

Start with your pinky,, start just kissing that area or touching that area. Don't try to stick your penis there. Yeah, don't just stick your penis there. If you want to try anal, that is a great point. You start slowly, you start with your hands. See if she's turned on by that area, she might not be. That's an area where men go for it, isn't it?

Yeah. Don't go for it, but the anus right away. I tell you, don't do where the name Keith came from. before speaking. If it happens to you, his or your feelings are bound to be heard, but remind him of how much you love him. Just be like, sorry babe, sorry, I don't know where the name Keith came from. He was my guy at the gym this morning. I don't know what you say. Who is Keith? I don't even know. I just see who's Keith. I just made up Keith. But I think that, um, yeah, people do out of the wrong game. So he's like, I have people, my mom and my step-dad have been together 30 years and sometimes she will call him by her ex-wife for 30 years ago. Names just slip out.

I will be like, Doris! And she is like, I'm not Doris. I can't be like, I'm just like, play it off. Oh, it's like a nickname. I've done it. It's a pet name. It's my ex-boyfriend. It would be a great pet name for you.

My ex-wife is named. But these are just some funny things that do happen during sex. So yeah, I've called, used to call, my dad got married so many times that I used to call his third wife by the second wife's name that pissed her off. Yeah. But that wasn't during sex. But you do it sometimes

because you're used to someone in a certain situation. So you're used to having sex with this last person. And so in your mind, the way it's wired, you're like, oh, I, yeah, sorry, Bobby. Oh, you're not bad. I don't think I ever really say anybody's name. Really? I'm never shouting their name.

That's good. That's good. Mm. So this is better not to. Or just say, honey and baby. Really? Just say baby and honey. Listen, just use pet names.

And then you don't have to worry about calling somebody wrong name. She's not babe. Right. I don't like babe. I like baby. If a guy calls me babe, I'm kind of like, but baby is name. She's not babe. Right. I don't like babe. I like baby. If a guy calls me babe, I'm kind of like, but baby is hot.

That's a lie. But some people love babe. I'm not saying. Some people are baby people. Some people love baby people. OK. Awkward moment number six, your kids walk in. It's the moment every parent strides.

You thought your five year old was sound asleep, but then she comes and asks him for a drink of water and catches you in the act. Sometimes children find sex confusing. I think couples are fighting or hurting each other. If you find yourself in this precarious situation, it's best to address your child's concerns immediately. You can say, sometimes, mommy and daddy are very affectionate with each other.

And that is what she saw is what normal married people do. And then, invest in a lock on your door. Show it like your teenage children. Oh my god. I do. When a teenage child walks in a lock on your door. You should always like your teenage children. Oh my god. I can deal with that. When a teenage child walks in, that's really embarrassing. Hopefully they know better at this teenager's. Why did you walk in on your parents when you were a teenager? No, I didn't. I had friends who did. Oh my god. God, teenagers should know that then not just parents don't even go on the road. But I guess why it's hard for parents to lock the door with the babies is because like they want their kids to go to the room.

So just knock. I walked into my mom having sex with her, my stepdad, her second husband, and it was so awkward he answered the door and it was weird. But there's a lot of people of stories about remembering seeing their parents having sex. It's like scarred them or not even scarred them, but just even just like that was the first time they had any they had seen sex. Yeah.

That's how it happens sometimes. Okay. Awkward moment number nine when you get your period happens to all of us, happens to all women once a month for a week, a week or less, we're going to have our period. And so we did a show on this, I think we did a show on this, but menstruation can be uncomfortable topic for a lot of people, so it's important to talk to your partner in case he or she is not comfortable having sex during your menstrual cycle, which I Found lots lots some guys are and some guys aren't so guys are like I don't care what's a little blood

We'll get in the shower after put a towel down. You should always put a towel down Women actually some women are a lot more turned on during when they have their period So they actually want to have sex and And some are just, I don't want anything in there, I've got cramps, it hurts, and some guys don't want uncomfortable with a side of blood. They just are, and I know that they're both men out, both kinds of men out there who are like, bring it, messy sex is hot sex. I mean, seriously, there are guys who are like, I don't care, but it's not all down, we'll get bloody, and there's some guys who are like, oh my god, if I have blood on my penis,

I'm going to throw up. So it's really, that's true. There are some things you can do. If you still want to get it on, but you're worried about the mess, you can try these soft cups. They're similar to menstrual cups, but shaped like a diaphragm, so it sits further up in your vagina over the cervix to collect flow while still allowing for penetration. The only downside is it sometimes can be felt during sex and women find them uncomfortable

and messy to use. So there are some other things you could do. You could also try having sex in the shower or the bathtub. But what's been your experience with men? Have you found that they've been okay with period sex or not? Or don't you think it's a mix? What do you think? Yeah, I think that guys are pretty cool about it.

Now, I don't know. I used to never tell guys when I was on my period. I just like, would would like avoid the subject You know I feel like everyone's pretty cool about yeah, you're like oh by the way it's a time of months Yeah, but it's never fun. It's never like no, I'm so like yeah My period and you always want to go up and then you're like oh, I've got my Like kind of going for the pants you like Exactly. It's kind of annoying about that

I know okay, so I think there's the period thing you got to have the talk and just see if you're you might be down with it. He might not be. You got to just discuss it. Discuss it discuss it discuss it discuss it. Okay, weird noises. Awkward moment. Number 10. Weird noises. What's the weirdest noise you've ever heard? Okay, so my answer to me is today about someone she knows who she was with someone and he made a noise. I think when you orgasm like a baby seal. How does a baby seal sound? I don't know.

But that would suck. That would kind of be a buzzkill. Yeah. A baby seal or maybe a whale? I don't know what they sounded like. So whatever it is sound, just ignore it and don't make them self-conscious. Because the thing about sex is so maybe he sounded like a baby seal. But if the sex was good and it might have made you feel awkward, people make, I think it

shows that they're letting themselves go and they're losing their inhibitions and they're letting go and maybe they sound like a baby seal. So if you can hang with that and not judge and that's fine, you might freak you out and make you unattractive to him, but hopefully you can just let it go with that's his noise. Have you had weird noises? Um, I've just had weird things being said. Like what? I think I was telling him before in my online dating man the the continuous like babe. Oh he prematurely

babed you. Yeah he just said it like 50 times or six. Yeah. And then there was like one big long babe. That's it. Really? When he got back, I was like, oh, I'm just gonna use God, my God, that's hilarious. I had a guy, what about if their guy makes no noise? I had a guy that I did not know if you or guys were not because this is what he did. So we'd be having sex.

I'm like, you know, you can tell when a guy's about to work as a man or the other. Everything's quicker. Turn faster, tense. And he was like, he was like, oh. Like, as soon as I was like like I was like I like I like did you just like oh could you be like I got poof it's terrible and they make no why make no noise I think that that's the more repressed male and female I don't know I don't want to judge again but sex is about letting go if you want to have the best sex of your life you have

to be able to let go to have those amazing orgasms you have to be be able to let lose yourself in sex and not be so self-conscious. But also, I think, to men's credit, a lot of men learn to orgasm in their bedroom when they're 14 years old and they're afraid of their parents walking in so they don't want to make a loud noise. Yeah, that makes sense. So, they're kind of quiet. But I think the older you get and you're having sex, it just feels really good to breathe into, like, express yourself and let yourself go.

Even if you sound like a baby seal. Okay, that's all we've got time for today, everyone. We've got some more of these. We love these awkward sex moments. We're beginning to continue. We're going to continue another awkward sex week. Tomorrow, the... Tomorrow's a big day.

Tomorrow's a free sex Friday. You get to hear Nicole Daydone and her book Slow Sex. It's all about amazing orgasms for women. And I'm thrilled to have her on the show. So thanks everyone for listening. Thanks so much about amazing orgasms for women. And I'm thrilled to have a show. So thanks everyone for listening. Thanks so much, Kelsey and Alicia, for everything. I appreciate it. Thanks everyone for listening to this show. Email me at feedbackatsexwithendly.com. Was it good for you? Oh, was it good for you? Email me feedbackatsexwithendly.com.