Sex With Emily - Hotline Calls: Chastity Play & Anal Rimming

Episode Date: October 10, 2023

We all experience sexual highs and lows, but what do you do if your “low” is a literal low libido? And your “high” might result in a penis injury? Let’s find out. On today’s Hotline Calls show, Producer Erica and I answer your sex questions. Starting with anal rimming: what if your partner has expressed interest in receiving… but feels conflicted about wanting it? Next up: chastity play - it is "Lock-Tober," after all! But could wearing a penis cage set you up for long-term injury? After that, sex that’s gone from vanilla to straight-up boring. When you’ve tried everything to fix it, what now? What does it mean if your body goes numb during oral sex? Finally, you’re fresh out of a long-term relationship, and your sex drive has completely evaporated. How do you get it back? I’ve got a few ideas.See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com.Show Notes:How to Master Pretzel PositionSoraya Beads from LELO (code SEXWITHEMILY for 25% off sitewide)SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $69)The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your PleasureWant more? Sex With Emily: HomeLet’s get social: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | TikTok Let’s text: Sign Up HereWant me to slide into your inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kind of like if you haven't gone to the gym in two years, you're not going to go one 10 miles. We're not going to go take a really hard workout class, you're going to build up to it again. So the more you can do right now is start to keep your pilot light lit and start to keep your own sexuality alive and reclaim your sexuality as something for yourself that is unrelated to your ex. Because sometimes if we still associate sex with our ex, then we compare all of our future partners to your ex. Because sometimes we still associate sex with our ex, then we compare all of our future partners to our ex. So once we touch a create new sexual experiences

with our self, then our most recent sexual memories have to do with us. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily, and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. You asked and were answering. In today's episode, producer Eric and I are answering both hotline calls and your emails. As always, you guys delivered. Today, we're talking how to get comfortable receiving anal rimming. Peniscage safety? What to do if your partner never wants sex and you've tried everything?

What it means when you feel numbness and tingles during oral sex, it's how to bring back your sex drive after a divorce. If you want to leave a voicemail with your questions, please do call my hotline 559 Talk Sex or 559-8255739. You can also leave me your questions or message me at sexwithemily.com slash Ask Emily. Please rate and review sex with Emily wherever you listen to the show. My new article How to Master Pretzel Position is up on sexwithemily.com. Art everyone enjoyed this episode. We can wait for clean water solutions or we can engineer access to clean water,

we can acknowledge indigenous cultures, or we can learn from indigenous voices, we can demand more from the earth, or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash right the future. This is from CalCy, she's 34 in Detroit. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years. We're very open sexually and we love to explore new things. I just usually know what way to say this but he loves to eat my ass. It's like his favorite thing to do and I love that he gets so turned on by it.

That turns me on. One time when we were discussing sex, he did say he would actually like me to do that to him and he's never had it done before and I absolutely agree. Although he wants it done, it's been very difficult for him to open up to it in the moment. I tried to bring it up in the bedroom, which I know you say not to do, but I tried to bring it up during sex. And he just, he, he, he, it weird to me.

And I think it's really hard for him to do something that maybe isn't classically known as something very masculine. I think it may be a message with his own sexuality a little bit. I was wondering if there were any way to kind of use them into it and make them feel more comfortable. If there's anything I can do, if there's anything he can do, because I know he's going to love it and he wants to try it. And I'll do anything that he wants to try because I know he's gonna love it and he wants to try it and I'll do

anything that he wants to try because I love him. Love your question, she's my girl from my town. Oh my god, Kelsey, you sound just really wonderful and such a loving girlfriend. First, let's talk about the fact that you're talking about eating ass, anal rimming and And I want to remind you all why this might feel good and why this might be hot is because there's so many nerve endings we have in and around the anus. And that when we lick it or we touch or we use a toy or fingers or hands or all the things, it feels great because nerve endings, okay? Let me talk about some of your concerns here. First, I love that he brought it up.

So that means he wants to do it. So my first thing that comes up is maybe when she brings it up in the bedroom and to be honest, I'm okay with you bringing up, like, let's try a sex act in the bedroom. But maybe he's like, babe, we just had a big meal. I don't feel as hygienic right now.

So that is a concern for many. We'll get into some of the other concerns, but a great tip for this is to try it in the shower. Or after you get out of the shower, have a date night where you both take a shower or a bath together. And maybe that'll be the time that he feels the most comfortable. Try that out. And if you think it has to do with him being concerned about not being as masculine or being too feminine, just want to remind all of you that sex acts do not have any correlation to your sexuality. Meaning, there's a common misconception that if a penis owner enjoys receiving anal or prostate play, it must mean they want to sleep with other penis owners.

That's just another thing that's wrong with sex education and society that we've totally like, this actually makes me sad that there's all these men who identify as straight who won't even go near their ainess won't even try to find their prostate because they think well that's just reserved for the gay community. So just remember that Laco's into our sexuality and enjoying a certain type of play like this kind of play that feels really good is just not one of them. The other thing is, you know, maybe he's just not comfortable. He doesn't have any experience around receiving anal rimming, looking as anus, because it's more submissive that he might not be used to being the submissive one in the relationship.

And I feel like sometimes submissive and dominant can kind of get conflated with masculine and feminine, but they can be different, right? They can be really different. So basically, his job here is just to lay back and receive. You're literally just doing something that's gonna make him feel good, but we should not completely, like, dom submissive and just you taking the lead in the better and him allowing himself to receive.

Allowing ourselves to receive is also a skill set. There's many of us who aren't comfortable laying back and allowing our partners to pleasure us, but that is something I write up a lot about too in my book Smart Sex. that there's many of us who aren't comfortable laying back and allowing our partners to pleasure us. But that is something I write a lot about too in my book Smart Sex when I was talking about oral sex and receiving. It's like a whole part of the book because it's really important to say like, know that you deserve pleasure and know that you're with a partner who wants to please you.

Breathing and allowing yourself to receive it is just a big part of the whole process. And I think another myth we've talked about before is that the penis owner has to be the dominant one if it's a penis owner and evolve the owner sleeping together. It's like penis owners like being the little spoon too. To your point, we don't see some mis-sive males modeled in the media. So it could take a conversation to get them really comfortable in this role. So I would recommend having this conversation outside the bedroom to discuss what might be preventing him from wanting this.

Because what again, I do like that he actually said he did want it. Something's happening that's just preventing him from going through with it. So when you're at date night and you're like, babe, you know I love the way you eat my ass. And you said you want to try it. And I'm dying to do it.

What would make it more comfortable for you? What could we do to make it really, really happen? If he's concerned about hygiene, you can shower. If he's worried about how you'll perceive him in the submissive role, you can let him know that you just want him to experience his pleasure. And I think another important thing is to let him know that it's a turn-on for you too. Yes. You enjoy giving. You enjoy watching him receive pleasure. You want to do the same to him that he's been doing to you.

And I love that she's so down with it. She's so down. She's my girl. You got him Kelsey. Ready to go Kelsey? Listen, also we've a recent podcast episode want better sex? Stop believing this myth that might help you on this path. All right. I have so much fun. Both of you. Really. Go for it. Bye, Kelsey. Thank you. This is from Drew 48. Hey, Dr. Emily, I absolutely love your podcast, and I've picked up some awesome tips and tricks for making my wife love sex more and orgasm harder,

which is trickier now that she's going through menopause. First off, can I just say I love that, his wife loves more sex and his orgasm harder. We love it. That's so great. It's trickier now that she's going through menopause. Yeah, I hear you. She's had a really rough time this year adjusting,

and I've tried to be a good husband through it. We have always been slightly kinky, but really stepped things up in the past year. We even rented a dungeon overnight, while in Chicago for a family wedding, and we both loved it. But they were the only ones at the wedding that were doing a dungeon at night.

But we switched, which means that sometimes, you know, he's dumb or she's dumb, dumb, sub, but she's had a lot of fun taking on the dominant role. We even talked about getting a new bed frame and putting some hooks on it, so we have various ways to tie each other down. But we have kids, so we have to be discreet about it. We also experimented with chastity, but only for a few hours and days at a time. She loves being able to tell me when I can finally take it off, usually after giving her an orgasm through oral or using a wand.

As well as the idea of me wearing it to work and in public, I'm an attorney so she loves knowing I'm wearing it in court. Ooh, that's far, I know. Case adjourned. Order in the court. She also likes teasing me by checking it at places like bars when no one can see. Then, I write about Locktober. Oh my gosh. Wow, and decided it would be a nice way to give things a boost.

We talked about it for a few weeks, and being a lawyer, I even found an online Chastity contract which I modified. I added a clause that she gets daily oral for the entire month. I want that clause. I want that clause too. Will you be my lawyer? Will you be my sex lawyer?

Really? We talked about how I could use her strap on over the cage or other toys to help her orgasm without any assistance from my penis. While we were playing with the cage yesterday, she expressed a concern about short and long-term damage to my penis from having it locked up in a cage for so long, with breaks for exercise and cleaning, of course. Should we be concerned about longer short-term damage, any tips or ideas to eliminate the risk of damage, or ideas to spice things up even more?

I'm really trying to make it fun for her and focus on her needs and wants and spice things up. Oh my gosh, I love this question. I love this too. First real quick, let's just talk about chastity for a minute with a penis. Just so we know what we're talking about here. Usually, I think when we think of chastity, we think about those cages that men would supposedly force their wives or daughters to protect their virtue and to keep them virgins.

That's where it first started. But today, there's chastity devices and lots of products you can choose from. And these are essentially metal devices with a locking key or some of them are controlled via an app. So it's a chassis that you can't get a broad spectrum, but basically a person might abstain from sex or be locked up at a physical device for a short period of time, or for a full-blown lifestyle, where the key to a bisexual freedom literally is controlled by their partner. So he's in like a chastity cage around his penis.

So that's what it is. They're playing this role of orgasm denial. His wife gets decide when he orgasms, decides when he had sex, and so that's what we're talking about here. It can look like a hard slinky with a lockout of that slides over your penis with a lock that you can't remove it. I'm feeling suffocated right now for that for him,

but I get it. It's a really hot way to power play. And that's what builds a rousal for many people. That's the polarity, right? So you will get erections, and there might be some discomfort, and so basically she'll be teasing him, and that's how it all goes down.

And basically the entire point of chassis decay is for erection, masturbation, and orgasm denial. It's inevitable you are gonna get an erection and she'll might even be teasing you and then that creates the discomfort, right? And she's in charge. It'll pain play. It's pain play.

It's yeah, power play, pain play. Now I understand that concern because that's real. Anytime we're playing with our genitals, messing with what they naturally want to do, we have to be concerned. We have to at least look into the risks. So, you can get different sizes that allow for different degrees of penal growth,

meaning erections. Like, there's some that just keep it so that you can't really grow, and then there's some that are gonna allow you to grow. But, as long as you properly measure the cage, it shouldn't cause any real significant pain. Beyond what you want. You will have some mild discomfort until your body becomes used to it, especially through during erections or weather or activity changes or even while sleeping,

like those nocturnal erections are real. So you have to also just like with any sex toys, be sure they're made of body-safe materials that work for your lifestyle. Do you sweat a lot? Are you active? Important. Check out. You might want to get one that's a little more open

if you sweat a lot. Also, speaking of that, make sure that you are clean and well-shaved because you want to prevent any hairs from getting caught out. That's a big one. Now, you also want to check for bruises and blood blocking, any redness or blueness around your testicles. So just keep checking. Every time you take it off and you're cleaning, really pay attention. As soon as we don't feel things,

like if everyone on comfortable pair of shoes and you get home and you're like, I didn't know those shoes were hurting me all day. You don't want to confuse thinking it's a mild pain of your erection in the cage, but then realize it's actually something more. Make sure you pay attention. Of course, using lobes and moisturizers will definitely help prevent any discomfort. And as it goes with sex, there haven't been any well-funded medical studies or well-in-depth studies about the long-term effects of permanent chastity. Right.

It is like, we have not put our money there yet. Exactly. We're just starting to study the clitoris. So, approach this with caution for sure. Some say that permanent or long term chastity could lead to after-feet of the penile tissues, which means we corrections, possible rectile dysfunction and shrinkage, probably not going to happen, especially if you're removing the cage and taking care of your penis. But just be aware, as always, there are some complications that can arise. So just be attention, be mindful of your penis, but just be aware, as always, there are some complications that can arise.

So just be attention, be mindful of your penis, and just every time you take it off, check your penis out and see how it's responding. And then you gotta report back and let us know about October. Yeah, please. And I'll win down. Oh my gosh.

I wanna know. I need to know. Wow. I feel like that's a good rule of thumb for most sexual acts. Just keep checking in with yourself being mindful of how your body's reacting. If your balls are going blue in a real way, take it off.

It's probably the one case in which blue balls would be real. Yeah, exactly. Otherwise, blue balls is fake. Yes. But it's so true, doing sex, just pay attention if you have any pain or discomfort. I think that we, again, we overwrite our bodies sometimes because we're in our heads or

we don't want to speak up. But anytime there's pain during sex, just okay, just slow things down and stop. Take a look, get a mirror out. Check out what's going down down there. All right. Thanks, Drew. Sounds like you're going to have quite an October. All right.

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Lalo truly never disappoints and if you want to get your hands on their latest amazing toy, get 25% off all Lalo products when you use the code Sex with Emily at checkout. Just go to Lalo.com that's L-E-L-O.com and use the code Sex with Emily for 25% off or just click the link in our show notes. Our Devon will be right back to answer more of your questions. Introducing Uber Teen Accounts An Uber account for your teen with always-on-enhanced safety features. Your teen can request a ride when you can't take them. You'll get real-time notifications along the way.

Your teen feels the sense of independence. You can follow their entire route on a live tracking map. Your teen will get assigned to top-rated driver. You'll get peace of mind. Uber team accounts. Invite your team to join your Uber account today. Available on select locations. See app for details. Is it secure? Are you sure? Are you sure you're sure? Get answers you can trust from Salesforce at AskMoreOfAi.com. This is from Sophie. She's 22 in Canada. Hey, Dr. Emily. I am a longtime listener and your podcast has helped me through a lot of sexual roadblocks within my relationship.

But I've come to one that I have no idea what to do about anymore. My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years, were high school sweethearts and we love each other a lot. We have a really good relationship, except for the sex lately. I've always had a much higher drive than my boyfriend, but for the past few months, I feel like I just can't take it anymore. I'm always the one initiating sex, and the only way I can get him around is by literally touching his penis.

If I try essentially kissing him, wearing lingerie, talking dirty to him, he either doesn't understand what I'm trying to do, or he's just not into it. When we finally get into having sex, it's really boring, and it's always the same. The lights are always off. He never goes down to me anymore. Even though I've brought it up to him, how that makes me feel using your three T's, and if he does

an orgasm, nobody does. He says it's because of stress, which I understand, but he won't do anything about it. We've been to therapy, which helped for a while, but eventually it stopped helping, and sadly our finances are too slim to seek out more professional help, which is why I also just feel so stuck. I masturbate regularly, he's not at any medication, and we have a good relationship outside the bedroom, but our sex life is making me feel really unconnected with him and frustrated, please help. She's done a lot. Sophie has done it all. She's kissing and wearing laundry, talking dirty, doing the three teas they've been to therapy. Oh my gosh. You've done the work. So a few things come up for me here. First off,

he recognizes that this is happening and you've talked about it in therapy and outside the bedroom. But I'm curious, I want to know more about your boyfriend. What does he need more of? What are his turn-ons? What might make it hot for him? He kind of has to opt in here and be like, you know what, lingerie, kissing, dirty talk, not great. But you don't really be hot. Fill in the blank. Right. Does he need a massage?

He's stressed out. Would he like you to massage him for 10 minutes and that would get him in the mood? He has to give a little bit of here. Because you can't be the only one pushing this sex life boulder up the mountain by yourself, which so many of us do in relationships. It's usually one person trying so hard, but it takes two of you to tango. like Boulder up the mountain by yourself, which so many of us do in relationships,

it's usually one person trying so hard, but it takes two of you to tango. I'm also wondering, how was it the beginning of the relationship that's always really cute? It was a good question. Because as I asked you with that, they're like, oh no, it was hot. It was hot.

It just changed recently, but some were like, oh, you know what? It really wasn't that great. It was never great. That's something to look at too. It's really hard to create something from nothing if you didn't have it at the beginning. Especially because this couple was quite young

when they first started dating. That's the other thing. You were 15 years old, so essentially, you guys grew up together. You actually blossomed sexually together. So I'm wondering if there isn't some linking up here of your sexualities together. And maybe there has been a lot of time

to explore separately. You are masturbating, is he masturbating? What kind of porn does he watch? Or if he does masturbate, what does that look like? I'm just dying to know more about him. Like what have you learned in seven years about your boyfriend's sexuality? And maybe it's changed.

Like listen, from 15 to 22, that's a big leap. You go from like having no sex, knowing nothing about sex really, to full on adults, and maybe your sex life has just stayed the same, meaning it's kind of what you guys can figure out together. So maybe there's just some more talking and doing the Eston maybe list,

or listening to this podcast together. I love that the podcast has helped you, but many people listen with their partners and then they stop it and then they use it as like a therapy to talk about it. Like, what do you think about what Dr. Elmys said here? A lot of people are using my book Smart Sex. That way too, a lot of couples are using it

and then like reading a chapter together and then using that because I think it sounds like we just gotta get him to talk and explore. I think that's super important because we hear from couples all the time saying that they have fallen into a sexual routine, a sexual script, and especially for those of you who have been with your partners since you were very young, you don't need to be having teenage sex when you're an adult, like things evolve.

How does that happen? It probably requires some self-exploration, some exploring together. But yeah, I could imagine that getting a little boring as well. You're having the same sex you did when you first started having sex. Absolutely. The boredom thing is really guys, we need that novelty to keep the sex interesting.

That's just how we get around. We literally need novelty. It would everything's the same. That's how we get shut down. That's how we get turned off. So it's actually a requirement to keep evolving your sex life, to keep exploring together. It's a requirement for most couples to work on it,

talk about it, and try new things, because otherwise it does just get stale. And again, this isn't unfortunately commonplace but with couples just suffer through it. But you don't have to. And so if you really like you to have a partner who's also has a growth mindset with you around your sex life. Mm, keep it posted. You want to know all the things. This is from Emily, she's 31 in Oakland, California. Hey, Dr. Emily, I have a question about receiving oral sex.

Sometimes when I'm receiving oral sex, especially when it's good, my face and arms and hands go numb and tingly and I don't orgasm. I did some research in the internet says it's good, my face and arms and hands go numb and tingly, and I don't orgasm. I did some research in the internet says it's from hyperventilating, but I'm usually breathing normally. I've never orgasm from receiving oral, and when the numbness sets in, it's pretty intense and makes me want to stop. Is there anything I can do to avoid this and enjoy receiving oral more?

So first I want to say, you might not be hyperventilating and breathing normally, and I just wanna know what that looks like for you. Cause a lot of us think we're breathing normally. I usually think I was breathing normally until I realized that I was a really shallow breather. And I've had to do a lot of work around enhancing my breath practice, I do breath work.

During sex, I really do deep belly breaths and how I get in there is I do like a six count inhale and a seven count exhale. So when you're breathing in, you're really moving that sexual energy through your body. So that might just be something to look at. The other thing is you said you've never orgasmed from oral. I'm wondering what your orgasms are like otherwise. Do you orgasm during masturbation or penetration? And if so, do you get tingly then too,

or are you only getting tingly during oral sex? But really, there's nothing to worry about, like, tingly fingertips, toes, and lips, can be a normal part of your body's sexual response. You know, these things happen, and we all experience it a little bit different. You know, sometimes like, we might feel shaky legs, or a shortness of breath increase heart rate

when we're getting aroused during our rousal process, some of us might feel tinglingness. It just happens. Yeah, I'm always talking about nerves, right? Like, a rodging of stones is our areas packed with nerve endings. Well, those same nerves can also lead to a tingling sensation when you're being sexually stimulated,

including in regions we don't often deem sexual. I've said this, put your hands, your inner elbows, your thighs, these are all amazing erogenous zones that feel just wonderful, great when touched. And am I feeling tingly? Is this like a tingly bordering on feeling good or a tingling bordering on feeling bad? So I don't know that I think I'm going to worry about, but it shouldn't last long, Is this like a tingly bordering on feeling good or a tingly bordering on feeling bad? So I don't know the thing to worry about, and it shouldn't last long.

So maybe if you breathe through the tingly next time, like a really conscious breath, deep belly breaths, and imagine the sexual energy and the good feelings moving through your body and spreading throughout your entire body, your body's zones, that might help you when you visualize that breath moving and you visualize the tingling as being part of your sexual energy in a rousal. Sometimes when we just breathe with visualization, we can help sort of spread that sexual energy, you know, through our body. So maybe try to like meet the tingling as a new sensation to play with and

ride that out, play with it, and see how you can move that through your body. But listen, please know, if the tingling lasts for hours or even days, I definitely recommend seeing your doctor. Just to go back a little bit, what would it mean if she only felt it during oral sex and not during masturbation or penetration? So if she only felt it during oral sex, well, I'm assuming that if it's oral, it's probably external licking. And if so, that could be vulva dinea, which is when we have nerve endings in a round or a vulva, which is the external part of the vagina that when stimulated can cause pain.

So I might think it's that again, more penetration might not do it because the penis is just going inside of her. So again, that's why I'm asking is it like tingling feels good or tingling out, which it's painful because she does say she has to have him stop. And so if you're having him stop, I'm just wondering if there's pain and then we'd have to look into vulva dinea and I would recommend definitely seeing a doctor and or a pelvic floor physical therapist who could help you work with any kind of vaginal lalva pain just help you maybe work with it to help you diagnose what's going on and then send you to another doctor if you need to. But remember, vulvas, if you have pain in any way during sex, during penetration, just

at all, you don't have to live with it. There's a lot of excellent solutions now and different kinds of modalities that you could work with to help you get out of pain and into pleasure. Thank you Emily. We really appreciate your question so much. This is from Christina. She's a female in Austin, Texas. I recently got divorced about two years ago and since then my sex drive has just completely gone down. I have hooked up with several guys since but I really have no motivation to have sex and I want to know if there are any ideas of how to boost my live video again. Thank you.

All right Christina thank you for your question. And we hear this. This makes sense. You are with your husband for probably a while and all of your, you know, sexual energy and sexual memories are tied to him. And so it might be, you know, a little bit of a challenge to kind of get back into your body and feel your own sexuality again. Just go easy on yourself because people need a cool off period after separating

because you've been used to sleeping with just one person. Well, they had their routines, they were comfortable. I definitely relate to this. I feel like anytime I've had any kind of separation, I literally don't want to have sex with another human being for like six months. Yeah, absolutely. I'm with you. I want to normalize that too.

Yeah. That there's nothing wrong with us when we don't want to jump back out there and date again. I think people are split into two camps. So the people who are like, gotta get out of there to get over. And then there's people who are just like, I'm going to take some time. I'm going to get to know myself. Who am I without a partner? I also hear that you are dating. You are out there too, but you're just not feeling it when you try to have sex. So the first thing I would recommend to get your sex drive back and to get more comfortable with it is solo sex.

Getting your masturbation routine on because sex begets sex. When we haven't been actively sexual, it's kind of like if you haven't gone to the gym in two years, you're not going to go run 10 miles. Right? You're not going to go take a really hard workout class. You're going to build up to it again. So the more you can do right now is start to keep your pilot light lit and start to keep your own sexuality alive

and reclaiming your sexuality as something for yourself that is unrelated to your ex. Because sometimes if we still associate sex with our ex, then we compare all of our future partners to our ex. So once we start to create new sexual experiences with our ex, then we compare all of our future partners to our ex. It's once we start to create new sexual experiences with our self, then our most recent sexual memories have to do with us. And that's a much more effective way, I think, to start to get our energy back sexually. And I feel like it's just helpful to think of your sexuality as something of your own

that you don't rely on anyone else for it. And then it might not feel as intimidating the next time you're with someone else. And you can just enjoy all the pleasure you know you're gonna have. Love that. And if you're not excited about solo sex, maybe a new sex toy would spice it up.

Mm-hmm. Okay, I get a lot of toys to try here, it's true. But I love getting a new toy. Like that actually just knowing that there's something new to try, this is my invitation to masturbate. People are always asking you how to spice up part-newed sex and sometimes we need to spice up our solo sex, too.

Yeah, it's kind of like when you're going to a new party, you're like, oh, I have a new dress to wear, so I feel much better, much more excited about the party now. Yes. It's kind of like that with sex toys. And we do have a ton of toys, vibrators, dildos, and a new store. It's shopsexwithemily.com.

I'm really proud of it. It's so beautiful. It's something that I really wanted for a long time, because I wanted to be able to create a place where you guys can go with, there's like, vetted toys. The whole section with that many team has vetted, approved, and you know, it just makes it easier for you.

For whatever toy you want to buy. So like I said, you know, think about things too. Like when you're masturbating, you'll think about your turn-ons. What are your core desires? What makes you hot? Turned-on. Because now you're in a great period right now where you get to kind of incubate your new sexual self. Who is she? Where do you want to explore

and future relationships? So these are all things to be working on, to be thinking about right now, and really to be feeling like sex shouldn't be so heavy, like feel your way into new pleasure right now. And finally, of course, we have to also rule out any medications that you're on, maybe taking some new medications, or if you have any untreated trauma, or you feel like a therapist would be a good idea right now, check that out. Because that's what makes sure these are getting in the way of you having optimal pleasure. So thanks, Christina. So appreciate you. That's it for today's episode. See you on Friday. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily.

Be sure to like, subscribe, and give us a review wherever you listen to the podcast and share this with a friend or partner. You can find me on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at Sex with Emily. Oh, I've been told I give really good email. So sign up at sexwithemily.com and while you're there, check out my free guides and articles for more ways to prioritize your pleasure. If you'd like to ask me about your sex life, dating, or relationships, call my hotline 559 Talk Sex. That's 559 825 5739. I'll go to sexwithemily.com-ask-emily.

Special thanks to ACAST for powering the Sex with Emily Podcast. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. Introducing Uber Teen Accounts. An Uber account for your teen with enhanced safety features, your teen can request a ride with top-rated drivers, and you can track every trip on the live map in the Uber app. Uber Teen Accounts.

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