Sex With Emily - Moms Have Rizz, Too! (A Chat With My Mom About Modern Sex & Dating)

Episode Date: September 18, 2024

In today’s episode, I’ve brought my Mom back on the show to dive into a range of topics from the hilarious to the profound. We reminisced about growing up as women in an ever-changing world, tryin...g to date and have sex! Our conversation covered the early passionate days of relationships to the mundane, finding time for sex and reviving your libido. I also had some fun quizzing my mom on modern dating slang. Her take on each word made me laugh. I think you’ll love hearing about the many stages of sex from my mom's seasoned perspective. Exploring dating terms with my mom was a fantastic way to demystify modern relationships! I asked her about breadcrumbing, DTR, red flags, situationships, ghosting, pegging, and rizz, aka…charisma.   Learning points from the episode: The evolution of relationships from passion to domesticity. The impact of menopause on intimacy. The many layers of modern dating terms. Insights into maintaining a long-term relationship.   Tune into these articles:  I Asked My Mom 5 Things About Sex, Sexuality and Aging: Here’s What She Said 8 Most Common Sexual Struggles for Couples (& How to Solve Them)   This episode is brought to you by Solaray. If you're seeking a healthier cycle or mood support, you have to check out these products. For 15% off your entire order, go to: www.solaray.com/sexwithemily    SMARTSX: I'm thrilled to announce SmartSX, an exclusive membership that's revolutionizing the way you will approach sexual wellness. Last week, I kicked off this exciting journey, inviting you to join a community that's all about transforming your sex life. Whether you're looking to deepen connections or explore new kinks, SmartSX is your gateway to all things sexy and insightful. Embrace your pleasure potential with an open heart and mind. As a member, you'll embark on a journey to discover your unique desire style and boost your Sex IQ. You’ll gain invaluable tools for a healthier sex life through engaging discussions, expert guests, and direct interactions with me. Each month, we'll dive into themes based on my 12 Universal Truths About Sex and Pleasure, starting with 'Sexual Connection is a Skill Set.' CLICK HERE TO JOIN

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. Okay, today's episode is with my special guest, my mother. We talk about the ever evolving world of modern dating. What's actually going on? What can we learn from it? She had a lot to say on that. So whether you're here to decode dating jargon, enjoy very candid mother-daughter conversations about sex, or just delve into complexities of modern relationships, this episode has something for you. I'm so excited to host my incredible mom, Susan, and I hope you enjoy the episode. Please rate and review Sex with Emily
Starting point is 00:00:44 wherever you listen to the show. It helps get the show out to more people and it just takes you a few seconds to do it. You can just do it right now. Look at your phone, look at your app that you're listening to this on and review us. We so appreciate it. You can also find me on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok,
Starting point is 00:00:58 Twitter, Orax, and Facebook, all the places. It's all at Sex with Emily. My new articles, I asked my mom five things about her sex, sexuality, and aging and here's what she said. And eight most common sexual struggles for couples and how to solve them are both up on SexWithEmily.com. Alright everyone, enjoy this episode. Okay, mom, you're burning to talk about this. What? Well, this morning we were doing our walk and we started talking about how women don't think about what they really want for themselves.
Starting point is 00:01:41 How we're raised for the time we're young to think about, are we pleasing our parents? Are we pleasing our teachers, our siblings? We become mothers, are we pleasing our children? I wanted to work, I wanted to be out there. And every time I did, your dad said, no, no, no. He wasn't, it was a different time. He wasn't, he married the old me and then the new me started to evolve.
Starting point is 00:02:07 And to his benefit, he wasn't prepared for that. But do you see this happens with so many couples, right? We change. If you're not growing and evolving, you're dying. I agree. So when I look back and I look at current day B and how I was in relationships then, I've always known that I really need my time.
Starting point is 00:02:28 I really like hanging out with my friends. I love a little space. But yet, once I get to relationship, it doesn't ever seem there's room in relationships to state who you truly are. Because we have this one model of relationship that's like, you get together, you have the same, you want the same things,
Starting point is 00:02:49 you bend over backwards to fit into each other's lives, and then you kind of lose a lot of yourself. That's the thing. I mean, to think that you're gonna meet somebody in your 20s and it's just gonna be a walk in the park is a joke. It's not a walk in the park for anybody. And so when you see people and they're holding hands
Starting point is 00:03:08 and they seem happy, they've either done the work or they're seeing therapists or whatever. It's not really accurate. It's all a struggle for everybody. But still going back on that, what I think I did find though, now is that that's actually really who I am. Like I'm OK not having kids. And you're right, back at that time, now it's very common for like Gen Z millennials
Starting point is 00:03:28 are all saying they're marrying a lot less frequently than our generation, your generation, and they're all saying they don't want kids. I never, we never heard anyone say that before. I feel like that probably was hard for you. So going back, did I think about, oh, I really wanna have kids? No.
Starting point is 00:03:47 You didn't have a choice. All my friends were having kids and okay. That's time. I've been married three years, this is the plan. You can have kids. What about paradox of choice? It's like, you almost have, we almost have too much choice. Like I feel like your generation was like,
Starting point is 00:04:03 you had no choice. No. But then we get the right of like the second wave feminism where it's like, okay, well we can do anything, we can work, we almost had so much choice. In a way, you got the kids, you got great kids. I got great kids. So, but I see there's less choice. Do you think we're better off now?
Starting point is 00:04:19 I don't think, I don't know. What do you think about it? I think that the verdict is still out. I think the verdict is, you know, sometimes you shift all the way there and then you come back to the middle. I don't know. I don't have the answers. I mean, what's happening now is people decide, well, I really want a career.
Starting point is 00:04:39 We're married. We want to travel first and then have kids. There's a lot of that. My friend's kids, that seems to be very common. But what happens is, what I'm also seeing is that my friend's children who are trying to get pregnant in their mid-30s can't get pregnant. Yeah, well, we're finding out now that the birth control pill has been really harmful. You know, the fertility.
Starting point is 00:05:02 The periods you never get back to your... I was just listening to a podcast the other day on fertility. And it's so expensive and it doesn't work all the time. And then they go on hormones and it changes your body and mental. It's not good. Yeah, that's what the birth control pill does. That's why all these young women go on the birth control pill at 18, whenever they go on it.
Starting point is 00:05:24 And it changes them forever Like it changes their hormones that never regulate again And so now we're seeing this generation of women who think that they just go off the pill and they're gonna get pregnant right away And that's why I'm such a and also not even to mention that when you're on the pill it changes the partner You're gonna choose because of the way your hormones are in the way, you pick up scent and you pick up different connections. Like the studies show that if you, that for all these women who are on the pill, the part they were less attracted to their partners when they went off the pill,
Starting point is 00:05:51 that you would choose a different mate. Wow, I've never heard that. It also impacts your mental health for sure. I remember I went on the pill when I went to college. Do you remember this? Freshman year I went to college and I went on the pill and I remember like my boobs, I was like, that was the best part of it.
Starting point is 00:06:06 They were like large and I remember calling you and being like, Mom, I have to go buy bras. Can I use your credit card to go back? Because it was like my whole body changed. But then I remember feeling anxious for the first time and bags thought that was college, but you know, it just messes with your body. It does change.
Starting point is 00:06:18 I feel like now all this stuff is becoming so much more commonplace. Like with podcasts and just the media and social media, you could talk about all of it. Now we talk about PMS. We talk about, like periods used to be so shameful too. Is that funny? Oh my God, my mother used to say, change of life.
Starting point is 00:06:38 The change of life, right. Right, they call it the curse. They call it the curse. They used to call it period, getting your period the curse. Think about how horrible that is. Like that's such a horrible thing that you got your period, even though that's what gives people life, et cetera. What a terrible thing that was.
Starting point is 00:06:52 It's a terrible thing. So women's bodies, everything that happens to us, it's called the curse when you get your period. I never heard that. Oh yeah, I mean, not in my house, my mother never said it, but it was very common to hear people say the curse. I never heard that for period. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:09 I heard like, you know, and I was visiting. Yeah. Yeah. But I remember like embarrassment, like when you're dating or let's say you're young married and you want to have sex and you've got your period, just being able to talk about it or to ask your husband to pick up tampons or whatever that like that was like for a man to walk into the drugstore and buy tampons. Right. We've come a long way. But then back then that's why there was so many struggles around it too. I remember, yeah, just also that change. I remember you say to me
Starting point is 00:07:43 like every month I get my, you know how it is, you get, you go through PMS and then you get a, you get moody, you get cranky. I know every month I would say, oh my God, my life is over, everything's so hard. Every month I would like cry. I'd get a pimple between my eyebrows and I'd cry. Yeah, same.
Starting point is 00:08:04 I get a pimple and cry too. And I call my girlfriend and I'd get a pimple between my eyebrows and I'd cry. Yeah, same. And I would call. I get a pimple and cry too. Right! And I'd call my girlfriend and I'd say, oh, I'm so tired. And I'd feel, she'd say, you're getting your period. And I'd say, I am? Like, it's so stupid, like every month. Right, and I think that-
Starting point is 00:08:16 It's always a surprise. It's always a surprise. You have your period 12 times a year if you're a woman, you're in 10. Yeah, it was always a surprise. You're shocked! That's why I'm loving them. I'm taking all of these like Solare.
Starting point is 00:08:26 They make these really great supplements for every stage. So now I remember I take like their PMS and Menstrual one. Oh, they didn't have those. They didn't have that. So I don't have to think about it now because it helps you to regulate all of that. I would have loved that. I know, I know.
Starting point is 00:08:43 And then they have one for libido. They also have a for perimenopause, menopause and postmenopause. And like all of these are like hot flashes, night sweat, sleep, mood. I have girlfriends who would be really interested in that. So, Mom, OK, so PMS and menstrual. I love this because monthly support for a happy cycle, breast tenderness, that always happens. Always.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Yeah. I used to get that too. I know. You get, is that funny? Menstrual discomfort. Okay, this happens with your mood, your energy and relieves the symptoms. So I'm bloated.
Starting point is 00:09:18 I want to, I hate everyone. Does it help me with that? And it helps with, yeah, just I get cramps. Right. So what it does is, and it's non-hormonal, so it just helps regulate everything. And then libido, this is good. It helps with your natural lubrication.
Starting point is 00:09:38 This one, there are stages for your libido too. It happens at any, you know the thing about libido is though, Mom, it happens at every stage. Like not just when you're older. I feel like it happens,, you know the thing about libido is though mom, it happens at every stage. Like not just when you're older. I feel like it happens, and this is the thing about women to normalize is that your libido fluctuates different months, different times of the month. Did you find that different times of the month about your period that you wanted sex more
Starting point is 00:09:57 than others? I'm sure. Yeah. I mean, I don't remember. It's been a long time since. I know. So this helps that. And then, Perimenopause, hot flashes, night sweats. This totally, I've taken this, I take Solerae
Starting point is 00:10:12 and it doesn't, and so now I don't get any of that. Like it's gone, like the hot flashes. So I don't have to change, the night sweats. I never had a hot flash as I get the night sweats. What did you get? I didn't get night sweats. How'd you get nothing? No, no, no, I had hot flashes.
Starting point is 00:10:26 Oh, okay. I got night sweats. See, we're different, but so related in other ways. But it just makes me feel like I'm actually doing something about it to help because otherwise, like there wasn't anything like this. This is why- I think it's wonderful that I only wished
Starting point is 00:10:41 that they had had this. Yeah, you had to, it was like, I've got the curse and that's it. Oh my God. And then you feel bad, and then you feel ashamed. You like bleed on your pants, or you're having a hospital. That's terrible, I was so tired. Yeah, I get so tired too. I forgot my periods, so I take to bed.
Starting point is 00:10:55 When I first started, they didn't have ibuprofen. So you'd get your period, and maybe you would take aspirin, but there was nothing to take. You'd have to use a hot water, like a heating pad. A water cleaning pad? Oh my God. What a school.
Starting point is 00:11:11 It's like I was a prairie woman. I look at all this stuff and it's like, oh my God. No, we take this. We take something for it. I don't get the cramps anymore. I don't get the cramps. Oh, I would have loved it. That was one thing that birth control did
Starting point is 00:11:24 was the cramps. You didn't have the cramps. Well, it helped with the- Oh, I would have loved it. That was one thing that birth control did was the cramps. You didn't have the cramps. Well, it helped with the cramps, but then you'll never get pregnant and you'll, no, you might get pregnant, but it's just really tricky what it does for your mood. Anyway, so I love this, mom. I'm gonna send you a box.
Starting point is 00:11:36 I think you got a box. Yeah, I did get a box the other day. What I love about Sola Ray, why I was like, that's just so brilliant, is because we go through these different stages of life. And now we can talk to our friends about it, but we really didn't before. But just having an open dialogue
Starting point is 00:11:52 is the most important thing we can do so we don't have stigma around it anymore. Oh, I know. I love hearing about your gym friends. How long have you had your gym friends? I have, so I have a group of women. We've been, we all have the same trainer. And we all took classes at the same gym.
Starting point is 00:12:11 And we are, the youngest one is 20 years younger than me. And I'm one of the oldest. And we are such a support group for each other. We love each other. We love each other. We support each other. I talk, they talk about their kids. I talk about my grandchildren. You know, they listen to your podcast.
Starting point is 00:12:33 They love you. I mean, it's just really a wonderful group. It's just a wonderful group of women. Do you guys ever talk about this stuff that you talk about? Yeah, well we talk about, they talk about hot flashes a lot. Like I've got friends who would go out for lunch
Starting point is 00:12:47 and they're sort of like their hair. Oh, the hair, the face turns red and they've got the hair. You're like, I know, I know. Can they do it? I mean, they could, you gotta do it sometimes. They may not even know about this. So I, you just sent me the box. I sent you the box.
Starting point is 00:13:01 And I'm gonna be getting together with them. And they're so open to anything that you like. Yeah, they bought it all. They bought the lubes, they bought some toys and stuff. Okay, so let's give them some, let's give them some story because I feel like just that it's just there like for libido, all of them. It just helps you with every single stage of life. PMS, perimenopause, menopause, libido.
Starting point is 00:13:23 Anything that helps. It's so wonderful. I know. Now I do have to add a disclaimer that the FDA has not evaluated any of these statements and these products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Additionally, I've personally had a great experience
Starting point is 00:13:36 with Solare, but each woman's experience is unique. The Solare Her Life Stage's formulas shared in this episode are not intended to address every symptom or concern mentioned, but they are designed to provide powerful life stage support. So look, if you're seeking a healthier cycle or mood support, you gotta check out these products. Just go to solare.com slash sexwithemily for 15% off your entire order. That's S-O-L-A-R-A-Y dot com slash sexwithemily for 15% off.
Starting point is 00:14:04 That's solare.com slash sex with Emily. So, okay, we talked about the stages of life. We've talked about how things have changed, you know, culturally and socially, but let's talk about dating for a minute because I thought this would be fun, Mom. Since sex terms, trends are always evolving and changing, I thought it'd be fun to have you guess
Starting point is 00:14:23 what these current terms mean. I'm ready. Okay, so bread crumbing, and I can use it in a sentence. It would be like, have you heard from him? And then my friend would say, no, sometimes he's just like bread crumbing me. Wow, I've never heard that. I haven't a faintest idea.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Here's what bread crumbing is. It's somebody leaving little small nuggets of interest. So they're sending you a text every three days, or they're doing just enough to keep you hooked. They're leaving enough bread crumbs to keep you on the path, but they are not fully committing to a relationship. Well, screw them.
Starting point is 00:14:59 Yeah, have you ever been bread crumbed? No, because no. I think I've bread crumbed. I think I've left the crumbs.. I think I've left the crumbs. I'm sure I've crumbed. Are you the crumber or the crummy? I'm the crumber. Wait, crummy.
Starting point is 00:15:10 The crummy is the one who's receiving the crumbs. First of all, I literally leave crumbs wherever I go because I am messy. But number two, I'm sure when I was less clear with communication and owning what I want, which was to be a little bit more open in relationships, not jump right into commitments when I was feeling pressured to. As a response to that, I was probably dating several people at a time
Starting point is 00:15:37 and wasn't as clear about what I wanted or that I was dating other people. So maybe just to keep them interested, perhaps I might've given them just enough because I wasn't really sure what I wanted or that I was dating other people, so maybe just to keep them interested, perhaps I might've given them just enough. Because I wasn't really sure what I wanted. I don't know that any of this is, someone's consciously going, I'm gonna do just enough to keep them hooked.
Starting point is 00:15:54 Yeah, I don't think so. I think sometimes it's just like they don't know. That's why we have to say much more. The crumber may not know what they're doing. Exactly. And we don't know that we're leaving crumbs everywhere. So the thing is, is that what I like about it though, what I like about just talking about this is thinking that most people if they're doing that, the person
Starting point is 00:16:12 who's crumming isn't intentionally going I'm just gonna mess with them. I'm just gonna, I think we just are so sometimes not self aware to what our patterns are. So this is what came to mind. Tell me. If you're dating and maybe you meet a couple of women or a couple of men, whatever the, and you're dropping breadcrumbs, maybe you're not sure because you don't know that something better is the next one. Ooh, the bigger better deal we call it.
Starting point is 00:16:42 You think that that's it? And do you think if you knew, then you would? Well, yeah, like they're not sure. Like I think I'll keep her out there or him out there. That's the intention of it. Because maybe next week's date is going to be better. But if case not, I've got this one hanging on. So when you're, you know, have a lot of people that you're interested in, and then you're just like home one night
Starting point is 00:17:06 and you're feeling like I'm alone, you just text a bunch of them and you're like, hopefully, then they text you back. You're like, I'm so desired, I'm so wanted. This person's like, hey, you up, what are you doing? And then it feels really good. That sounds so disgusting. And that's it also sounds disgusting.
Starting point is 00:17:19 I'm so glad, you know, so does I think, I'm so glad I'm old. Yeah, I know, right? No, but it's a lot, it is true. And you know what's funny? I was talking to a friend about this recently. I think I used to, I went through a period where I felt that I needed a lot of attention
Starting point is 00:17:33 from men, from people. I was like, that felt really, it was really important to me to feel desired and to know that. But then I got over it. I think I started maturing and realizing that that's just another place to get a dopamine hit.
Starting point is 00:17:49 Just like people do it with shopping or with drugs or food. I was like, I'm going to get attention from men. But I've moved past that. That was kind of a thing. Anyway, DTR. What do you think DTR means? So well, we've been together. Here's the sentence. We've been together, here's the sentence.
Starting point is 00:18:06 We've been together now three months, we should probably DTR. Wow. When I think of the common phrases, they're not the right initials. Yeah, you probably would. It's called define the relationship. It's a conversation, you've been dating someone
Starting point is 00:18:24 and are deciding if something's serious or not. So a lot of people say- I've had that. Yeah. You've had those conversations? Yeah, my husband did that. What happened? We were dating for about, we met in June and in October,
Starting point is 00:18:38 I went to see your brother in Arizona where he was in school and Ed called me. He said, okay, this relationship is costing me a lot of money and I want to know if you're really serious if this is a committed relationship.'" Okay, how many months in was that? Well, you know, cause he lived out of town. It didn't really count so much,
Starting point is 00:18:58 maybe four months, five months, but he was making an effort cause it was like a long distance. So he was trying to DTR. So I told him, oh, it's committed, even though I wasn't sure. But I figured, what the heck? I'll tell him yes, and then I'll figure it out. Just breadcrumb there.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Yeah, right, right, right. Give him enough. So he said yes. So that, you know what happens? Yeah, that's a good point. So that's about three to four months in, is about average. And I think what happens is why this comes up a lot is because people are in this unknown land of,
Starting point is 00:19:25 are we dating? Are we not? Is it serious? Should I be dating other people? And eventually there's usually one person who kind of pushes it along and says, okay, I think it's time we DTR. And then people say, oh, we DTR'd. We define the relationship. Now in my history, I was never the one that pushed the DTR. But when it gets put, I always, always like, oh God, he wants a DTR. Because I was never ready. It always was before my time. And I felt like a lot of times I got a little pressured into DTR. But maybe I, you know, sometimes it's good for me to get moved along.
Starting point is 00:19:52 Someone to say, like, make a decision. Shit or get off the pot, as they say. Right, right. So that happened. Okay, here's another one. Ready? Red flag. Well, I used to say that to you.
Starting point is 00:20:02 You'd say what? Like if there was a, if there was an issue, like he didn't like his mother, I would say, red flag, is that the same? Yeah. Yeah, because- What else? Red flags. Yeah, warning sign. I used to say to you, if he doesn't treat the waiter,
Starting point is 00:20:19 if he's cheap with the waitress, he doesn't tip well, or he's rude to the waitress, red flag. If he's late, red flag. I hit my list. You did, you did. What else, red flags? You have any red flags? Well, those are the ones,
Starting point is 00:20:35 if he opened the door for you, you know, and- Green flag. Green flag. And if he didn't, you know, it's, I mean, it's changed through the years, but I think those are still red flags. Yeah, okay, that's good. I think red flags, people love talking about red flags.
Starting point is 00:20:53 They do, because it's such a clear delineation. Like, it's so binary, like it's an in or an out, but sometimes red flags can be kind of pinky. But you gotta put them, you've gotta put them on the bulletin board and know that they're there. You may not be ready to act on it, but it's in the back of your mind. Yeah. I'm like, is this a red flag?
Starting point is 00:21:13 But you always told me this too, Mom, the issues you have on a third date, you have forever. So, if they're late, they're going to be late. If they were cheap, they're going to be cheap. Right. We know so much. We could just help people right away. We only would get this, but sometimes we gotta go through it. We gotta, we gotta learn all the lessons. All right. It is finally here, you guys. I'm so excited to announce my very own Smart SX community. We just launched the membership and I'm so excited to announce my very own SmartSX community. We just launched the membership and I'm really excited to tell you about it and hopefully you will join us.
Starting point is 00:21:50 So I've been doing the podcast for 20 years and here's what happened. I got really sick of this one-sided conversation. Yes, you go back and listen to thousands of episodes and get my advice and read the blogs and check out the videos, but the way that we actually make changes with sex and relationships is when it's a dialogue, it's a conversation so I can work with you. It is time to do the work. Now this membership has it all.
Starting point is 00:22:15 There are AMAs, you can ask me anything. There'll be live coaching, guest coaching, workshops, webinars, along with weekly exclusive Q&A sessions with me, exclusive content with some of the best minds in sexual health and wellness and so many other things. But I gotta tell you something, I don't know exactly where this membership is going.
Starting point is 00:22:32 And that's because I'm building it right alongside you. I'm catering this membership to the members, to you. I wanna know what you want and I'm gonna fulfill your needs. Cause you know, I go on all these retreats, I teach retreats and workshops and we've all these big breakthroughs and we're all connected.
Starting point is 00:22:47 And then people go back to their towns and they're like, I have no one to talk to. I don't know what to do. And so with SmartSX, you will have the opportunity to connect with like-minded community people who are also passionate about improving their intimate lives. You're gonna build connections, share stories,
Starting point is 00:23:01 find advice, all in a really safe space. So if you're interested in this membership, it has it all. We are starting a pleasure revolution and I would love you to join. So go to my website, sexwithemily.com and click on the membership tab, that's sexwithemily.com. Click the membership tab and I will see you there. Let's talk about your vagina for a second, shall we?
Starting point is 00:23:20 You're gonna wanna hear this. Our vaginal health changes throughout our lifetime, whether we're postpartum, we just had a baby, peri-menopausal or menopause, all because of the loss of estrogen. So we experience more infections, itching, dryness, sometimes incontinence, you know, the old sneeze and pee. I'm always on the lookout for solutions
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Starting point is 00:24:28 and who doesn't, check out V Health. And you can save 20% now when you go to getvhealth.com and use promo code EMILY20. That's getvhealth, G-E-T-V-H-E-A-L-T-H.com. Use promo code EMILY20 for 20% off today. Okay, what about a situationship? Do you know what a situationship is? Well, I'd have to guess.
Starting point is 00:24:52 I would guess that a situation, you're in a situation, but you're not sure it's a forever situation. It's temporary. Yeah. It's casual. Have you ever been in a situationship? Yes. How, it's casual. Have you ever been in a situationship? Yes.
Starting point is 00:25:06 How was it? It was fine because I didn't want it to go any further than where it was going, but it did the trick for well as long as it lasted. What was the trick? What would it have to do? Well, I knew I was never going to marry him. It wasn't serious, but it was fun while it lasted. There were red flags that you knew were.
Starting point is 00:25:25 Oh my God, so many. What were they? Communication, being cheap. I could go on and on, but those were two. So it did the trick of just companionship for a while. Yeah, and fun. Fun. Just fun, and then when it was over, it was over.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Yeah, peace out. Situations fun. And then when it was over, it was over. Yeah, peace out. Situation shift. Okay, how about ghosting? Well, ghosting would be when you stop communicating. You just disappear. Unexpectedly you disappear. You just disappear. Yeah, people often say they get ghosted over text.
Starting point is 00:25:59 Like even my niece was saying something like, oh, they ghosted me. I'm like, ghosted you? You don't even know them. They're like, yeah, but we sent the snap and they didn't snap back. We use ghosting all the time. So have you ever been ghosted?
Starting point is 00:26:11 Oh, I'm sure, but I can't remember. I was in sales for so many years that if I was ghosted, I wouldn't even know it. Yeah, you forget rejection's part of a- Oh, I'm just rejection. Yeah, that's the thing about being in sales, isn't it? You really don't, rejection doesn't really sting anymore. I paid no attention. Rejection's part of a... Oh, I'm just rejection. Yeah, you really, that's the thing about being in sales, isn't it? You really don't, rejection doesn't really sting anymore.
Starting point is 00:26:27 No, I could be rejected. And you could tell me no 19 times I don't pay any attention. Wow. Because that was just part of the job. Yeah, that is good training. That is really good training. But don't you think it still hurts in relationships though, if someone ghosted you, it doesn't feel good.
Starting point is 00:26:40 Oh, yeah, if there was somebody that you were really interested in, if you really cared. You know what the problem is, you're right, you know what the problem with relationships though with the ghosting thing is that, and I did this, I remember doing this one time, they always say you should take half the relationship of time getting out of it, I mean, getting over it. So they say there's a math, it's like girl math they call it or any kind of relationship math, but if you're with someone for a year, it should take you six months to get over
Starting point is 00:27:03 it. If you're on one date with somebody and they don't text you, you have about six hours left to think about this person and they're done. Like that was a nothing, they don't deserve a lot of your time. But people tend to feel so bad about it, what's something I said, why don't they like me?
Starting point is 00:27:20 And they spend months and months over this one- They have too much free time. I don't know. Maybe, but I think we go in our heads, we're like, why did they ghost me? What did they do? Just don't call me and discuss it with me because it drives me crazy when people do that.
Starting point is 00:27:36 I won't call you and discuss it with you. That doesn't happen, but I'm saying is people gotta let it go. You know what I mean. We'll never know the answer. It's probably isn't about you, it's about them. Right, and if you know that, move on. You don't have a lot of time. Move on with your life, done.
Starting point is 00:27:47 Peace out. I got you, Mom. Okay, what do you think Riz means? Riz. Like R-I-Z-Z? Riz means like drama? Like Rasmataz? Could be Rasmataz. It's short for charisma, meaning someone's charisma, vocatious.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Like, she's got Riz. Yeah, I would have never... I didn't know that word. Now you will. Yeah, now I know. You could say Riz. Riz. What do you think this person... Ooh, Riz. Except I have to be with young people who know what the heck I'm talking about.
Starting point is 00:28:21 I'll know now. So do you think that you have Riz? Yeah. Yeah. I never used to think so, but I think I've developed it. I mean, I think I do have it. Yeah. You know, because people tell me that. They say you got Riz?
Starting point is 00:28:37 They never use that word. Well, they will now. And for my generation, they might say, oh, I really like you. No, I'm kidding. You got Riz. Mom's got Riz. I want to get your t-shirt now.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Well, my two kids certainly do. We've got Riz. You both do. Yeah, so the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You're right. Okay, E-N-M. Sounds like an ear, nose, and throat doctor. E-N-M.
Starting point is 00:29:04 Ethical non-monogamy. What is M. Ethical non-monogamy. What is it? Ethical non-monogamy. It's when you've been agreed upon non-monogamous or open relationship. You got it. You haven't been yet. No.
Starting point is 00:29:15 Okay, let's do, okay, what about cuffing season? Cuffing? Cuffing, like cuff. Cuffing season, I don't know. Film me in. So during the fall, winter months when it gets cold, people say you're going to get cuffed. So you start dating someone, aka become cuffed.
Starting point is 00:29:35 So you can have someone when it's cold. Oh jeez. Go to Florida. It's depressing, right? Just to be with someone when it's cold outside. Oh my God, buy a sweater. Get a dog. Get a dog. For God's sake.
Starting point is 00:29:48 Yeah, it's a thing though. They're like, oh, you're going to cough up? Oh my God. Right? I don't think they say that in Florida. No, that's true. Because it's warm. No, but also it doesn't have to be about the cold.
Starting point is 00:29:58 It's more about the days are shorter. It gets darker earlier. We slow down. We're like animals, you know? We kind of want to hibernate in the winter, no matter the weather. Yeah, I don't cough. I don't like to cough anytime of year.
Starting point is 00:30:12 Okay, finally, pegging. Pegging. Well, I'm not sure what, I mean, pegging would be like choosing. Yeah, put a peg, yeah. Like choosing a person or picking a person. Yeah, that's true. Pegging, or you could choose a sex sack where one partner wears a strap on dildo
Starting point is 00:30:34 and penetrates the other, often anal sex. Okay, so that might be a term I won't use. Yeah, I can't see, like, no, I can see me coming home and saying to Ed, oh, let's peg. I don't think so. No, not gonna happen. I've skipped that. Okay, cool.
Starting point is 00:30:51 Well, you don't have to do everything. Thank God. All right, that was great, Mom. Good job. Any questions? Anything else? No, I... Anything I need to know?
Starting point is 00:31:00 I think you know everything. I know a lot, Mom, but I owe a lot to you. That's it for today's episode. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and be sure to like, subscribe and give us a review wherever you listen to the podcast and share this with a friend or partner. You can find me on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter or X and Facebook. It's all at Sex with Emily. Oh and I've been told I give really good email. So sign up on sexwithemily.com. And while you're there, check out my free guides and articles for more ways to prioritize your pleasure. And if you'd like to ask me about your sex life,
Starting point is 00:31:32 dating or relationships, call my hotline, 559-TALK-SEX. That's 559-825-5739, or just go to sexwithemily.com slash ask Emily. Was it good for you? Email me, feedback at sexwithemily.com slash ask Emily. Was it good for you? Email me, feedback at sexwithemily.com.

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