Sex With Emily - More Sexually Excited with Jay Mohr

Episode Date: March 17, 2018

On today’s show, Emily is joined by comedian, podcaster, and actor Jay Mohr and the two get real about sex and relationships, with some funny on the side. They talk about dealing with anxiety, moving through divorce and how to know when you’ve done enough – because if you’re in a troubled spot in your relationship, it’s not time to have an affair, bury emotions, or just tune out, but to do real work. Plus, they talk about anal, pegging, and why Jay sometimes likes to be called “daddy.” Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show free: Promescent, Womanizer, JO, A&E Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I go on a journey with comedian, podcast, and actor Jay Moore. And we go deep. I mean, not to worry, we do talk about anal, but we also talk about dealing with anxiety. How do you know when it's time to leave a relationship? Moving through divorce. How do you know when you've done enough? Because you've often heard me say, if you're in a travel spot in your relationship, that's not time to have an affair. Barrier motions are just tune everything out. It's actually time to do the real work. Leave no stone unturned, so you know if you decide to leave, you've done everything. And we also talk sex like if you really last longer than 16 seconds in bed.

Thoughts about pegging and why he likes to sometimes be called daddy. All this and more, thanks for listening. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common, all the way? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. I'm so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good.

But you know, Aveline's not the kind of girl you just play with. Thanks for listening to Sex with Aveline, we're talking about sex relationships and everything playing with. a really nice review we got on iTunes. This is from Vicious Toss. When I say awesome, I mean in the way she speaks intelligently and articulately on so many important subject matters, including relationships, friendships, marriages, sex, porn, feminism, masculinity, and many others. In every podcast that I listened to so far, I felt that Emily, her staff, and guests genuinely

impatiently help others without judgment or ridicule. Thank you for that comment, and it just feels good. It's true you guys. This is a judgment free zone. We are here for you to help you work through all your relationships, sex issues. So thank you, vicious toss. And if you guys leave a comment, we will read it.

I appreciate it. We're going to pick one every week. So thanks for that. And we have a March contest, which is super exciting. We call this one the O's of March. And by what I mean by that is those O moments, or the aha moment, when you finally figured out something, something in your life that you've kind of been noodling on,

you're like, ah, that's the reason. Well, think about what your sex and dating life there must be some of those where you've had an aha moment Like maybe you figured out oh, this is my secret fantasy that I've really been wanting to express or This is a secret of rod just own in the back of my knee. I never knew existed or you actually try to toy with your partner and you thought oh wow Sex toys for couples that really works I mean whatever it is that has that moment when something happened it changed and and you saw your sex life and your relationship in a whole different way. I want to hear from you. I want to hear your own moment.

Send in yours to feedback at sexwithamely.com by April 10th. I'm going to pick four of you to win a super sexy prize that will definitely have you going, oh. And also please join me on social media. It's at sex with Emily on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and Twitter. I'm always posting behind scenes and posting new episodes come up and also just a lot of information and blogs and posts and linking to all these things that will inspire you and help you to have the relationship and sex life that you dream of. We've got some sex hack videos coming soon. I love a good sex hack. And so we did a few videos that

are going to be posted right now. Well, at the time you hear this, we're gonna have some ups. So there's just little tips, little things that you can do that will make a huge difference in your sex life. Let me know what you think of those. I just love hearing what you guys think of the shows, the videos, whatever we're posting, it's so helpful to get your feedback because I love you all. So thanks for listening and enjoy my interview with Jay Moore.

This is really good spray in your mouth, even though it's blow job spray. Meaning it lubricates your mouth when you want to talk. Not that you need it, but so you're gonna like, it's good. So, it doesn't mean you're gay using blow job spray. It just means that it tastes really good, it lubricates your mouth.

I think it makes you more straight. I'm on the other side of the fence. Once you get pegged, you go, that's the straightest shit I've ever done in my life. What? You've heard me. How is it so straight? Because you have to be that comfortable to let somebody pegged you. That's true. I love dude. I love that we're already recording about your pegging experience. J-more. This is what I love. So I've been doing the show for like 13 years and people are like, oh, what's the trends? What's changed? And mostly that anal, top of mind, always. But even more so, I feel like people really want to try anal. But the pegging thing was something I've been talking

to guys about. I'm like, you're straight, you know, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't make a cave. If you want to have some penetration there because it's like the mailgees, but what if it's the best orgasm ever? and you don't know it? So you did it. Yeah, somebody pegged me and it was... Somebody knew. The, no. Okay.

It was the manliest thing I had ever done. How so? Because it was just, she was so turned on by it. It feels amazing because you have a prostate. It's like the closest thing we have to a clitoris. Right, two spots. And there's like boobs and a beautiful woman there, it's not like you're bent over a couch and tail.

Right, right, exactly. It's not like the doctor either putting it like that. Someone who's a mislead guy named Jennifer is laying in it. Like, no, it's like somebody you love just like doing that. It was a small sized thing. That's good, so small. Yeah. And then that was the one time,. It was good, so small. Yeah. And then that was the one time,

and I was just like, this is amazing. Yeah, and never again, you weren't like, yeah, let's start it. We could give you, we have a closet. I would do it if any, like girlfriend, it was like, if it was important to her or whatever, like sure. So most of the,

But was it, but was it, but was it, but was it, but was it, but was it, but was it, but was it, but was it, but was always say curiosity about anal, but I think because

of porn, because it's everywhere now, that kids are just everyone who's having sex at the young age are like, oh, we should also have anal. It's part of it, and it's just, some people have anal because they think they're not really going to lose their virginity. I was not, me and Adam Crawler, the only two guys that are like, nah, not really. And because it's dominance, when you do it, when you love, when you're love-making and you can do it,

like when you can use just like spit, like when it's that gentle of a thing and it's like an actual beautiful thing, it's other level, ethereal, great, greatness. But it's just, I feel like everybody does it to eventually go from, yeah, to, yeah. Right. Because it's like a taboo thing. But yeah, but it's like, it's dominant.

It's too dominant and I don't want to, I don't want to behave that way. Right. Unless you're both really into it and she's like, no, it's not dominant. It feels really good to me and to be an actor. But I don't need an asshole to be that dominant with somebody. Like, I don't know why guys have to tie girls to beds. Like I just, because they want it.

Well, yeah, but just my voice, you're not going to go anywhere. Like, if you need ropes to like get that, like, yeah, but the ropes are just like an added sort of like a kutramat, like the things that you add to your, you know, like, you know, like, I know, but I mean, when you're not tied up and you can't move, that's, that's, that's hot too.

I think women want was straight. We want to be cherished move, that's, that's, that's hard to. I think women want to be cherished, we want to be ravished, we want you to take control. Many women. So, yeah, you get it. But go back to the loop thing, I just need to make a correction here. When you said, it's great if you don't use loop and you just, I never said those words. What you said, you said without loop. I said, I never said without loop, I said when you're using spit spit sorry spit is a chip

Spits not great to use instead of lube. I'm just saying technically lube is amazing. I didn't say it's I never that I was saying instead of lube No, you protect it all that I mean I'm entirely present. I have like a lube. I know I love that about you You are so present. I mentioned lube never Because you spit which is like the I mentioned lube never. Because you spit, which is like the, you know, which is not great to you, it's not exactly bacteria, because a lot of bacteria in spit. You're putting something in somebody's asshole,

like it spits the problem. Right, but what did you just have like, it's not the question. You just have like pizza for dinner or something and it's like still, or like meat and it's in your spit in saliva. You really want to answer? Yeah.

You've probably been eating ass for about 20 minutes. Yeah, well, you know, but before that part of that, yeah, it's sloppy. I'm just saying that, we've been doing all that ass-eating. What did you eat that had germs on it? Lube and anal, like the problem is when people just, they go into quickly

and then the saliva doesn't last long. So with anal, not the sugar, because you're not on that path right now, usually the gentility and the love of the agent. I get a noose gentle, but it's just saliva. I get that. And I just took it to like, oh, don't use it. Yeah, I don't.

Just to make the correction. My plumbing doesn't work well enough to be jamming anything anywhere. Okay. I'm pushing a rope uphill. Got it. Okay. J-more. This is so fun.

I'm so glad you're here. I'm really excited. You all know J-more. I believe. Communion, actor, podcast host, love your podcast, more stories. So good. Yeah, all the stuff that you've done. And I'm excited to get to know you today because I've been following your journey, especially like the last year, listening to a lot of different interviews you've done. And I know that it's been

kind of a challenging year for you. And I've been so impressed and kind of inspired and touched by how open you've been about what you're going through. And I was like, oh, it was just, I don't know, just like your vulnerability and just being present and honest. Even in last year, I know life is never easy. We're always going through things, but that you've gone through a rough marriage, challenging relationship.

It was the most difficult 18 months of my life. Right now, we're in the 18th month. Oh no, we're out of the 18th month, but it's kind of like Vietnam and 74, 75. Like you're still. You're still right. Still dodging a few incoming here and there, but yeah, I got divorced and I, got divorced and I didn't want to get

divorced, but it takes two to make a thing go right. It takes two. That's a two. You can dance as fast as you want to dance, but it wouldn't be fair to speak for two people, but I went insane, insane. I was going to get a bed in a mental hospital twice. And people, before you decided to get divorced or?

No, during the, you know, I filed twice. Yeah, it's, I just, yeah. I just, I'm being careful not to speak. Could I love where I'm watching? Well, here's the, right, no, I know. The opposite of love is in hate. It's a difference. I know we're near and different.

No, I get it. It's been challenged. You still love her, it's been a heartbreak, but the thing that I thought was interesting and like for a lot of my listeners, I feel like there's so much because I always say, you know, people call up and they're like, oh, you know, we answer people's emails or they call into the show and they're like, oh, I'm thinking of having an affair. Things haven't been great. Or, you know, we're not going to go to therapy. It's just we're going to live through this

suffering. And it's like, no, you have to, first of all, don't't have an affair Whatever energy you're putting towards other person turn towards your relationship and work on it and see if You guys can repair because then you can leave the relationship knowing that you've done everything And I think a lot of people just leave and they don't do it and what I love what I've heard you say is that like leave No stone on turn because then when you leave a relationship you you know you've done everything. And that's something that I often impart. I'm out of stones. You're out of stones. You turn them all over though. I ground them to dust in my hands, turning them over.

And as far as cheating goes, you nailed it. It's not like a felony you work down to a misdemeanor and you don't get to work release that off your... Once you cheat, it's on there forever. You're a cheater. That's it. You can't go back. You die in cheater. You cheat on your wife.

That's the one thing you're going to go, why have so ephemeral and strange. And yeah, the second part of that was. Yeah, what I want to know is, like I always say, go to therapy. I know you're a huge mental health advocate as I, I mean, I feel like sometimes I'm on repeat. I'm like, you guys really need therapy. And I don't even think the people totally get that but so I know that you probably went through therapy with her can you talk about I wound up going to a psychiatrist I still see by myself because it was well

one of us has to see somebody about something right and was she just not I'm agonist you don't get into it all I'm saying is, I feel like what you've gone through is what I hear from a lot of couples that one wants therapy, one doesn't, one's working, one's not. And I feel like, I'm not saying she wasn't. All I'm saying is, I'd like to hear about the stones. And I didn't say the thing about leave.

Can you tell me, I just feel like that process of working it through. Like, how did you know that the stones work? What kind of, if you, what kind of a deal? It takes a lot, it's very long. It's not like you wake up one day and go, whoa, what happened this morning? It's not, there was not fights.

There was never fights. It's a very slow, slow, slow sort of undertow. And then you get gas lit away where you're not sure what reality is anymore and that's what kind of made me kuku You know in any relationship Someone will tell you what you're the number one thing I've seen in relationships and being an intuitive and working with people that Asked me to work with them as for. As an intuitive. Yeah, it's, well, I know you hate when we talk about this, and the other person goes, I don't hate this at all. So now you're untangling a necklace

before you put it on. Right. And then you talk about the last time you had to untangle that necklace when it comes up again, you wind up only talking about when you had to untangle the necklace the other time, and you never get to wear it. And I see that when I date now it's a defense mechanism, it's projection, it's really

odd. Like just people tell you things about yourself that are inherently untrue. You'll say, no, the last time we spoke, I actually said, I love talking about this and thank you. Well, I know you hate it. It's just like they don't. I have people, no one hears, nobody listens you hate it. It's just like they don't. I have people knowing hairs, no one can get it.

Nobody listens. Nobody listens. It's true. No one can get it. Fear of fear of success. It used to be fear of failure our whole lives. And now everybody is fear of success. Because when you're successful,

the spotlight's on you and now do it again. Now I really see you. Well, that's right. And that's. If you're a failure, who cares? But if Pete Townsend once said, I wrote a record. I love to write songs. I wrote see you. And you're a failure. Who cares? But if Pete Townsend once said, I wrote a record. I love to write songs. I wrote a song.

They said that was great. Could you write another song? And I went, this is the greatest job in the world. And that's, he didn't have a fear of success. Success to him was fulfilling his passion. I love to do comedy. I love to act. I love to create.

I like to separate people from concern. Did you do ever have that fear though that you weren't gonna be able to hit it again after certain movies or things that you've done? You never had that, you were not riddled with that. This is gonna sound maybe really like a mdick, but I don't remember fear. I don't have, I remember a shot,

I got a gamma globulent shot when I was like 11 and it scared me so bad for some reason. I don't really remember fear ever. Like both my sons were in the NICU and I don't know. I just, you just don't have it. Angst, worry, doubt, fear. It's like the forest will provide. I don't know, maybe I was just born a Buddhist. I don't know what it was.

No, that's, that's, I mean, so you really don't, you don't have that like, angst around your work and creating them. None. You just always, it just comes out. Like, I think it's amazing. I'll try, I've never given 100%. I've never, I'm 47 years old.

I, I maybe 88% as high as I've ever gone. It's come easy to me. It's like going through AA, I went back to AA much for a chance. Right, I know. I've heard that. I didn't't drink. Like that's how sick I was with anger, sadness, resentment from this crumbling life of marriage that I needed to apply some type of program and get with it. Because I never like work steps, I never got a sponsor. And I May 5, 1998 was my sobriety date. I didn't drink or drug and I was getting fired from jobs

because I thought I was on drugs. But in two different walks of life, like one was like a boys and girls club corporate gig where it took Cito. I was like, that was the one I was sure. Like I saved the night. It was great. Is he on something?

I went, oh, that with the other place. Apparently I'm behaving in a way. Okay, so first of all, I took a explain this because I find this fascinating. I know I have a lot of, I'm very close to, I'm not in an AA, but I've had a lot of friends, close friends that have gone through it. And I've seen just miraculous changes in their lives. Like friends I had for 20 years and they both got sober to my friends at the same time. And to watch going through the steps and how they were just like different people after

a year, I know how powerful the program is, and also saying that like, so you got sober like 20 years ago, sober meaning you didn't drink, but you're like, what, not going it, or. I was a dry drunk. Dry drunk, yeah. So I find that, so I find that,

so you just, so people were saying to you, hey, are you on a year ago about, right? Cause today, so, it's a year. Two years ago, three years. Congratulations on a year. Thank you very much. Yeah, today, are you gonna a year. Two years ago, three years. Congratulations on a year. Thank you very much. Yeah, today. Are you gonna go get a chip?

I may not, because my son's more important than the chip. I'm gonna bring him to a meeting. My, uh. Do you ever bring him to a meeting? I know your mom brought you to me. He's six. No, you're right, though, because my mom brought me when I was eight. Uh, not yet.

There's one on Tuesdays, I might bring him to, because it's kind of, my 15 year old I'll bring. Certainly. I think it's powerful. I used to go to my friends. I was like, I love this. I wish, and even when I started doing love line, like, but Drew, I was like, I really want to do the fourth step.

I think that's really important to me or the fifth step. I'm not an addict, but I'm like, what could I literally went to a therapist like five years ago? I'm like, I want to work the steps, the program. I think it's the, I've been in therapy my whole life. That seems amazing. I've been waiting. People are like the fearless moral inventory.

That's the thing that everybody's so terrified of. I'm like, that's fourth, right? Is that fixed? I can't wait to be a detective on me because whatever I think of me is clouded by somebody else's like the perception of me by me was so clouded by living in a house and a home and driving in a car and laying in a bed with somebody that tells you things about yourself until you believe it, it's being gaslit. Right, right, right, and over there to keep hearing that. And then when I realized my defects of character,

I was like, you know, an insatiable need for validation. Irrational, I get applause for going to work. I go to work and people applaud because I walked in. Right. That's, that's, so so how then I'm in a hotel room like what's going on? Where is everybody? You just left everybody. Right, but it's kind of like so talk about me when you go on stage you perform and you've always I mean I feel like you've had a lot of success. Everything you've done you're

stand up when I told everyone you're on the show they were like oh my god I love them. I saw a stand up he's amazing or they say amazing. You're loving it. So but you go on stage, you get that affirmation or you get the, would you say that prove all the validation and then you leave and then it's kind of like this. Like if that's a thing about performing is that you're so on, you're so present, you get it and then you go back to the room and then it's not a loneliness. I think you're nibbling around the end of the loneliness. I'm not saying no lonely. I'm just saying it's almost a crash because you're getting this dopamine rush or adrenaline and then you

do feel like you... I think I'm the outlier because I don't get the big rush. It's kind of like you don't celebrate when your car doesn't have a flat tire and that's how I feel on stage. And I could take a nap like right before I go on stage. That's what I'm the most just like all right cool. Like you don't things that obviously you don't have anxiety So I do I'm a thoroughbred runs around a track you put them in the stall Just you want to give them an idea how long to track is that's it? How long am I doing? That's all I need to know And your material is so it is about what's happening in your life. It's true. It's real. It's your stories

Yeah, and that I think alleviated all Any remaining angst any remaining any remaining highs and lows was, I realized like three, four, about four years ago, every single thing I'll write already happened to me or it's going to happen to me. So to sit down, the construct of actually writing a joke is not truthful. Like, hey, what's with like who gives your shit? That's not, that's not who you are. That's something you sat and manufactured, which is false.

Right. My son saying, my six year old says, yes, like an old queen for some reason. He's like this big butch dude. Like he looks at the house. He's like four arms like Lenny Dykstra. I'm like, did you do it? I go, did you really?

Yes. Did you do what? Anything you're asking me to do? Just whatever I ask him. The word yes, it comes out. And then I can't hear contractions, like did, didn't, can, can't, so he can't use contractions. So he's the poor guy six.

He weighs 77 pounds, he's tall. He's a big kid. He's got lats. He's, oh, he lives, he likes to live weights. Wow. At six. His favorite outfit is blue jeans, nothing else. Like a Russian landlord that hoses the driveway not the lawn How old is he?

So he can't use contractions so he walks around all day like an effeminate czar like I cannot I Did not will yes Have them washed and sent to my tent father? Why can't he use contractions? Because I can't hear them. I don't know. If he says I did or didn't, I can't hear the difference in contractions. In him or in life, it's like a block.

In life. It's not a block, it's not a thing. It's like I can't wink. I can't whistle. You can't wink? No. Or whistle. I don't know if they're related.

Whistle regular or whistle loud like a coach. Anything, I can't even do it. Would you rather be able to dunk or whistle loud like a coach with no hands? I don't. You'll change that answer. I probably be able to just in traffic just go like we're allowed like some cool dad. So for two people celebrating presents I think we both just want I know there's so many things right San Francisco, that's my heart. I used to want On the street were little cable cars climb halfway into the stars

So you're working steps And that helped me a lot and now it's like if I have a bad day I know why and the biggest thing for me, I was talking to my sponsor a while ago and I go, the big book keeps talking about willingness. Like I have so much willingness. I just don't apply it. I'm 100% willing and he's like a biker cowboy. So all biker cowboys seem like mad hips. So he's kind of like shuffle in it.

I go, I'm 100% willing, he goes mad really. And I just don't laugh because he's right. If you're 100% willing goes not really and I just laugh because he's right if you're 100% willing You would do more exactly the morning meditation. Right. How is that going? Are you doing it? I've never had a bad day when I do it. It's true, right? I'm I do what I got to do today. I'm gonna hand it over I'm I'm not the director of the show. I got to accomplish these. I can't be human reliant right Do it myself depend on no one if I'm late I'm a liar if I'm rushing it's a symptom of my sickness Yeah, so when you went back about a year ago you said oh no wait, I'm over to want to get back to you

You know a lot of anal and we all roads leave to lead to anal do they I know But they do and sex like literally I get people with coffee and like let me guess anal question There's just a lot of them But when you're talking about writing the jokes, are you saying that you don't I'll tell you're well to get back to you anal is fun when you we're gonna name it anal which a more is that cool the show because you said you like the titles or maybe we'd let you name it No, I think I don't know if you'll top that You know what you more Would you hit like sound guard and you're pretty good radio head metal like no, that's the name. We're good. Yeah, right, right. This is a good one. Ain't all Boston really?

We're just gonna be Boston. Okay, so listen joke writing. So you're saying that all these things happened to you in your life stories Whatever, but if you you don't actually write your jokes before you go up because you're just then it doesn't feel real to you Are you saying no? I don't write jokes not jokes, but you write like funny story with kid, kid, the backpack. I'll pull it, point it, remind myself, but it's a problem. I probably forgot about two hours of material. And then when I talked other comics, they'll say things like, what? How can I do that? Think about bringing a dog to the vet. I'm like, oh my god, that was so, like, I just forget it. But you haven't written down anywhere or okay? No.

No, I need to. And it's a problem and I won't, because this is LA and when people go like, I got, you know, I'm writing this, I need to write a book like, well, you're not going to because you're talking about it. And you're not the people just, you know, don't tell me about the labor, show me the baby. Right. No, you're so right. You're so right.

Like the poems I never told anybody. I just went here. When did the poems start? Those were because I would be. About a year ago, it was Antarctic. So Jay walked in and he played us as poem on your periscope through Twitter. Is that what it is though? Yeah.

Would etch. Jameworth 37. Jameworth 37. And it was good. My website jameworth.com, there's one's pose of a lot of. It was really, I mean, like you're so good. Like it's just, has it always been something that's coming out of you? Poems. Yeah, I think. Healing, you're so good. Like, it's just, has it always been something that's coming out of you?

Poms. Yeah, I think he like, you know, I remember like when I was 20, I'd be on a plane going to do standup, and I would hear a lyric, and I would actually write the lyric, and I would just write that one lyric over and over and over. And I remember like born to run together when we can live with the sadness. I love you with all the madness in my soul. And I was going across country thinking he wrote six albums after this. Like just you're done. Like no, he wasn't done. That's before born in the USA, you know. And I would always just like last I was flying back from Salt Lake City. I was listening to the national.

I waited 28 years to meet you. I just went, oh my God, but he's not 28. And Matt's not, he's an older than I am, I think. I was just like, just faster than I call them. And he has to move out. And he actually gave me a really great backstory on it, but which I won't share, because it's the best it's for. So yeah, I've always sort of, be like with things, but I never really had the structure. I sent a bunch of poems to my dad who was an English major at Rutgers University

And he loves poetry and it was once I was like really proud of right and he emailed me back Pretty good, but your your meter is off and I went all right. It's like so my dad Right, right of course, but he's like here's the digger. Here's what's wrong and he's right and He loves me entirely. Of course, but he's like, here's the digger, here's what's wrong. And he's right. And there's no, like the poem, your sound, there's no meter. So then I just sent him one called six about my son because every line was six syllables.

So I looked like a crazy person in the airplanes on my fingers just going. But does that really matter? Like me with the- Puffy eyes, purple orchids, ruby red, crooked lips, like the person next to me probably just thinks I'm a special boy. But are you, are you, are you supposed to,

is there like rules to poem? I mean, I get the meters, but you can just, that's your dad saying like, hey, if you're really gonna do a good thing, cause that's how they, It's a good, it's a good thing to do, you know, but I've noticed nobody notices I go when I go each line is a eight syllables to go. Oh, I've read I didn't even know that I read it like three times

And then I feel like oh, I feel like a jerk for pointing it out. I hate when they rhyme But you were just saying like why wasn't he just don't you wrote the song? But do you never feel like you're done right? And you're never gonna be done with comedy? Is that what you're most passionate about your podcast or what? I was born a comic. Like I can't not do comedy. I mean, I've done shows for friends and they've said, well, there's only six people here to see you have to come. It's like, no, I agreed to do a show. I wasn't person dependent. Like, I've done Open mics, which is other comics. Like now. And then you're the elephant in the room. So then there's there's some shows I love doing.

There's always something new. Buddy Hackett once told me you're never done peel on the onion. Sure. If you stop peeling onion, that's when you cry, you just got to keep going. You got to keep going. You get to peel the onion, peel the onion. Nothing's ever done. And that's all like Zen Buddhist stuff.

Yeah, it's true though. It's like in life, like your spiritual journey, like I feel like you're never frigging done. So that's what I was trying to... That's what atheists make me cook it. It's like, wait, you know that, you know this for fact, like you're just, you're certain. No, nothing so.

There's a couple shows like a set list show I love and I'll explain both briefly. And there's another one called Don't Tell Stand Up, which is amazing because they don't tell the all shows their podcast what they're what their actual lives stand comedy shows Don't Tell Stand Up is a Sean and Anna there are a couple they do them and they let the comp they let me know it like two in the afternoon it's in the garden Adventist High School at 10 p.m. and the audience finds out at the same time

I do so that's like a flash mob comedy show. There's like, there's no mic, there's no, there's no, there's no, there's like people on blind. So my thing about comedy, when I went to that show, Sean said to me, her brother thinks you're the greatest comedian of all time. And I looked at him to say, a year ago, I would have said, what about you? But I didn't say anything, but that's what I was thinking.

But somehow, I'm dead out, he goes, you're the truest, and I went, I'll take it. And I love that show. I did one in a furniture store, down like downtown furniture store, and it's the construct of the show is the truest. Like there's no advertising, there's no waitresses, there's no ice machine, there's no blender,

there's no drinks. I mean, I was in the back of a furniture store with like Pitbull's barking on the other side of the wall. This is recently? Oh, no, I mean this year, yeah. Over the year, right. They've done them in jewelry stores, skate parks, like they just, it's the construct of the show is so honest that you die if you put on a show, you're dead. You can't go, hey, how's everybody doing it?

Right. Bye-bye, asshole. You're out. So you're the realist felt like, and you could take that in. So when you were saying a year ago, and I believed him, and I knew it to be the truth that I am the actual truest. Yeah, you are.

Because I don't do any jokes. I like this happening. So if somebody doesn't laugh, if the audience doesn't laugh, I just shared a story with them. I move on to the next story, and people will ask me appropriately, like, how often do you try out material, and I go, I don't, and they go, how often do you try out material and I go, I don't. And they go, how do you, how do you not try out material? Well, like,

Emily, if you had a story at a party, I go, oh, tell Lark what happened this morning. You would tell her, you wouldn't be like, you know what? Let me go to write aid and try it out first. No, that's true. Let me go to the liquor store and tell it over there first to places you like to go. I love the right aid and the the right aid. And the McDonald's across the street, it's true. No, but you're right. The liquor store is awesome. But it's true that so- Just for the now and later.

The truest thing, though, the thing that you're the truest, is that I just think that you're so brave because you get up, you're comedian, you do your comedy. But then you're also like, you're talking about your mom with Alzheimer's. And you're like, I know this is really what I've been going through, how am I going to make this funny? And you just did your whole thing. And you're like, oh, by the way, I've been with my mom going with Alzheimer's. And you're like, I know this is really what I've been going through. How am I going to make this funny? And you just did your whole thing.

And you're like, oh, by the way, I've been with my mom going through Alzheimer's. And people were like, you're like, it wasn't necessarily funny. But then you're like, yeah, that's my life. I mean, everyone's happy. I'm standing. Yeah, I'm a huge. Why is that there? I'll tell you.

Okay. Because I thought it was brave and true. Thank you. Uh, it's tough to be brave without being a coward. So I'll, I'll temper that compliment. Just duality of everything, but okay. There's one story I tell about renting a kayak with my son and I put it on the six year old

because he's, I guess, more frequent. I'm not, you know, he's six. He's every day, I gotta, you know. And it just wasn't, like, we can take a golf cart downhill. It's like, oh, it doesn't really go that fast. It stops, like, there's a governor on the engine. I felt that way in the room. So I opened my book, no wonder my parents drank and I found that by chance and I found the kayak story. I go, that didn't happen to merit it.

That happened to Jackson. So I go, oh, I was showed a night. I can't wait to tell the kayak story with the appropriate kid, right? And then my mom visited and we didn't know she had Alzheimer's and she came to my house and just kept saying, who's cars in the drive? Where's that my car is? Turn upstairs to this building. And I stayed awake for 72 hours with my mom. I never left her eyes.

I knew like her tells. I knew when she slipped. I had like, I set up like, like little memory cards, like only like three of them. So like something we could monitor as it went on. And I told my wife, I go, the kayaks do it, it didn't happen to Meredith, it happened to Jackson. And my mom's Alzheimer's, I had to read her Harold and the Purple Crayon tonight.

I've always wanted a daughter, but I like, I think it was gonna be my mom. And then she goes, how are you gonna make that funny? And I went, I see you later. Right. Like, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I'm just gonna tell that. Right, I'm just gonna tell it. Right, but then it ended up like,

and you were real in that moment, when everyone got like the standing ovation. Yeah, oh, I'm sorry, and the error was, that's what I wanted to do. And the thing, when I do the improv in Hollywood, they give me the eight o'clock show. So it's eight to 10 is me, so I do an hour and a half,

which I like to do a half hour. Yeah, when you're doing that again soon, you'll tell us what you're doing. I can look it up in my phone. And then it got to be about like eight minutes left and they're blinking the light because if you load in a second show and I hadn't even done the thing about my mom.

So I had to truncate it and just smoosh it in in like the back three or four minutes. And I'm like, oh there's like nothing really to call back. There's this, I'm just going this awful sad thing happened tonight and I went, so, thinking back 90 minutes ago, I go, when I tell you guys 90 minutes ago, I'm really glad to see you guys. I mean it.

And then in that moment before they did anything, I went, oh my god, sincerity, Trump's comedy every time. And they were like, yeah, they all stood up. And it was a parlor trick on my god, sincerity, Trump's comedy every time. And they were like, yeah, he all stood up. And it was a parlor trick on my part, because I fucked up, I didn't stagger it. You didn't have the joke, but I just wanted to get this in. But did you feel like you had to get it in because you promised that you would talk about

why did you just say? I had to get, I jump off the cliff, I built my wings as I'm going down. That's what I said, yeah. But the wing, I didn't form any wings. So I'm like, I'm gonna break my legs just so you guys know, like transparency is transparency. Right, vulnerability.

But I can't go on stage and it was a complete, like, rip-cord parachute of, I have to land this somehow, and I wouldn't, that's not a comedy show, that's not what I go on stage to do, but it was just my leg last second, and I'm really glad to see you guys. Whew, otherwise I would have had to go.

By the way, Christopher Walken said, you know. Right. But it worked for you being real and not to. Oh, I totally were. It was just, you're the only person that knows it was a failed, the result of a failed construct. I talked about comedy like Stephen Hawking. Right, I know.

Like space. Right. And how sad that he just died. You're good. You cheated on his wife. Bye-bye. He did? Yeah.

So he said, right? Twice. Right. Okay, wait. The guy talks by moving his irises into a machine. A nurse wipes his ass and he goes, thank you. Socket, socket, L-O-L or not. Like how he got ass.

Everyone gets confidence, I guess success power. Steven Hawking, like, I know, dude, if anyone, everyone's gonna feel worse now listening, like I haven't gotten a blow job in years. We just gotta grow up here and say, whoa. Hope you're enjoying my talk with Jay Moore. Right now, we're gonna give a quick shout out to our sponsors. Thanks for supporting them and I'll be right back. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ My old trick back in the day was when somebody didn't want to

fall around and he would go, well, what are we gonna do about this? About this. That's what I had. Oh, right. The eyeballs. Oh, god. No, the actual erection. Right. Of the erection, like we were going to have. The sight of it was the sight. I was like in my early 20s. Oh, God. No, the actual erection. Right.

Of the erection, like, we were going to- You said the sight of it was the sight. I was like in my early 20s. Right, I get it. That's how about, hopefully, when it stops. That's what- Well, yeah, in erection as well. Right. You said it last about the 40s.

Yeah, I'm 47. It's a problem. Yeah, I know. It's a whole thing. We can talk about that too. How was your sight? Well, no, it was funny, because I was- So I was listening.

I was like, really, like, into your world, like, listening to the because I was, so I was listening. I was like really like into your world, like listening to the Truthboro One with your podcast and Jordan and listening to bunch of stuff. And then I pull up your stand up from, I think it was three years ago and I was on prime, like happy. Happy and a lot. That was a good special.

Yeah, it was good. And you open with like, I'm really bad and bad. I lasted for a whole 16 second. I didn't, but I just killed it, right? In a row. You can kill it, yeah. I kind for a whole 16 second. 16 second, right? And a row. No, you can kill it, yeah. I did, right. So what do you think about your...

And 10 seconds and I'm looking at the orange gate right on the nightstand going, and I had finished up. You're a wrestler, JJ. Come on. Do you really think you're bad and bad? No. No. No. That was like... That was a joke, So that wasn't real.

My wife's pretty fucking hot. You know, longevity wasn't a... That's what the problem was. The sex wasn't the problem. Yeah. Right. Okay. Until it was the problem. Right. Until it is the possible. Because of other sex. Well, exactly. The sex was never the problem. It's the things leading up to the, you know, when you're married, the first thing you say when you have sex is,

are let me pee first. Everybody goes to another room and pee. They married the first thing you say when you have sex is our lemme pee first Everybody goes to another room and peas. They do when they what don't want to have sex? No, you want to have sex? Yeah, okay, let me go pee first when you're single You never once go like let me go pee like you just you just have sex you'll stop mid-peeing just turn around and do it It's right. That's true. Just there's only I know that's the fun part the newness the excitement of a new relationship because you're like you're not paying your makeup Still on you're doing all this stuff. The Chris Roxay, if it ain't new, it's through.

Right. So, bad and bad, no. Did this set, okay, I don't mean your bad, okay, but did your sex life, I don't know if you want to talk about this, but- No, that was an actual joke, that one was an actual joke. Oh, there you go, there's one. And then I had a reptile dysfunction towards the tail end of the marriage, which is mostly emotional. It totally emotional, like entirely emotional and still emotional.

And then value, feelings of worth. We were talking off Mike about daddy stuff. But me and Michael were not you. No, I want to talk to you about the daddy stuff, because you said. Then when I realized I was not going to necessarily prick up lovely yo, get like these nice great mammoth erections that I can be proud of and bounce water off of it,

then you become like a chess master, and it's all between the years. And what you don't realize is as you're like, well they won't even notice, they're not, well no, they are you don't realize is, as you're like, well, they won't even notice. They're not, well, no, they are noticing they are getting it because you're hitting a bell that no one has ever tried to hit before and that's patients, presence. Mm-hmm.

Coocusing on the moment, not getting on the bell. Tirely there and then it comes back. Then I go home and I masturbate to what just almost happened. Wait, you're saying that's having you now dating? I'm sick. No, we're all sick. And I feel like you're saying that's having you now dating? I sick. No, we're all sick. And I feel like you're, I jump. What I'm saying is, are you dating,

I said you're saying this happened? Are you dating now? I, yeah, I try to. Okay, that's good. It's one strike you're out rule, I think. What do you mean? Just, I just see, I just know when something is. Do you know right away if,

yeah, that like that projection of a negative emotion, you go just so you know, this is what just happened. Like give me an example when you're on a dating someone new. Well, I know you don't like it, and I know like you get really angry when we, it's like, no, I don't. No, I don't. That's their own stories.

Most people are bringing their own exceptions, right? And it's just, then you're talking about something that doesn't, a negative that doesn't exist is the conversation before you get back to the conversation. And it's exhausting and it's, it is exhausting. No, I'm all out of Fox, I can anymore, I did it too long.

Right. And I lived it and it's just when I identify it right away. It's mostly that. And I dated a girl and she goes, I just wish I had more time with you. I was like, you do. I don't see my friends. I don't want to eat. I don't go to movies. Right now my son has a babysitter so I can see you. He just came out of a divorce. It's kind of important that if I'm like around him, you do see more of me than anybody. I haven't

seen my parents in nine months. I get I get that Two it's never enough. It's funny. I was talking to someone and they said what's the big complaint like why have you ended relationships and typically it's It's never enough time or I'm not giving as much as I can Best thing you can do in a relationship is date somebody that actual actually has passion for something and has a job exactly Well, this is person doesn't didn't Date somebody that actually has passion for something and has a job. Exactly. Well, this is person doesn't, didn't. Right, it's an amalgamation of it. I got it.

There's a lot of people, right? Gals, if I sing them out, I didn't know. I'm terrible dumb. I'm back. This is what I did. I'm back in his life. Right, right. You can't sing it out.

So let's go back to the part, okay, you were talking about parlor trick earlier, but then you were talking about mother, because I heard you say something about like it's parlor trick, like everyone's got mother father issues. These are the issues, mother father issues, how I heard you say something about, like it's proletrich, like everyone's got mother-father issues. These are the issues, mother-father issues, how they, you didn't say here. Is that a podcast, but you're all sick of proletrichs? Oh, about into it, like psychics, there's all such things in the psychic.

Right? Okay. They were just present and they just catalog everything you say, and they go, hey, watch out for the number four. Come see me if you start seeing fours. And then you see fours and you're like, oh my god, they were right. Like, no, they weren't right.

There's like how many license plates have number on them. Exactly, right. But what about what you do? Because you are intuitive. I am. You are too. Real recognized, real. It's like maybe.

The best way to explain it is, when you take kung fu for a long time and somebody throws a punch, there's no blocks in Kung Fu, you get out of the way because the only energy is that person's energy because you're empty. Like before I go on stage, I'm empty. I'm just nature of whores of vacuum, but before I go on stage, it's nothing. I don't know how else to explain it. So with the intuition, when somebody sits across from me

and they're serious about, like nobody goes on on the car a lot unless they want to buy a car, if somebody really wants to be quote unquote red, they will present, like this is my, this is me. Like look at the front of our house, but don't go in these two bedrooms because we're hoarders, you know. So the questions that sort of peel that away

are, it is either mother or father or all that sort of. Yeah, let's talk about that though, because I believe that we are here, I believe that we're here on the planet to work through our mother and father issues. So whenever we're, That's impossible that a sentient being is on earth to experience life, to work backwards

through the other sentient beings' damage. Well, but don't you think, okay, so you're in some aspects. Run earth, but what I'm saying is, don't you believe that it's our mother and father who shapes us and these are the issues that we're constantly battling? Absolutely. And that it's not a bad, like I guess I try to let people see that it's like it's not.

You start twirling your hair when you said mother and father, it's very interesting. Oh, oh, we're gonna intuit what that means. It's just like a, I don't know. I thought it was cute. Oh, thanks. That was pretty easy. I was doing that for you.

It was separate. Does she feel her hair often? I take it for the mother. Okay. Yeah, I don't know. So the parlor trick thing is to get the walls down, like you, you are Emily, you are under a patient. You are underappreciated, you are. You are, you know that you are.

And whatever it is that decision that's happening in your life, you are right. And it's not like the senate floor where you're gonna get people to come over to your side. You are right, you just have to be happy with the fact that you're right. It's like paying a parking ticket and you go, you could pay it online and you're talking to people going, no, we're collecting all the nickels in the house and we're gonna walk it downtown

You're right to stop trying does that make sense? Mm-hmm. Yeah, those are the two bullshit things I would say to two people just to get the wall down because now you're leaning forward Right, I'm like oh tell me because we're all nurses too in a way But that's right for everybody right right for you. So you're stuck So you're psychic, you're working through stuff, you're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff.

You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff.

You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. You're working through stuff. Number one thing I know, no parlor tricks moving forward, I promise, okay? Like, like, they're kind of fun, but I get it.

Trust me, trust you, you know, because if we're gonna go in the weeds here, we'll go together. Yeah, I'm in with you, I'm in. How tall are you? Oh, you're gonna ask that, five one. Questions will get harder as we go along. It's a pose, second one.

And five two. I'm five one, I'm five two. And now I'm like five one and three quarters, but I'm so honest that I'm like five one, but that's actually more like five two. All right. So as a little girl, this is everybody, little boys, little girl,

with cognitive thought, you're home, you accepted five foot as your value, just the way a parent is stern. Like I'd come home, my mom'd be slamming drawers, and nothing to do with me, but it was just disturbing. Like what's wrong?

Nothing, nothing's wrong, nothing. So you're like, ooh, sorry. So you accept five foot at like maybe five, six years old. Then eight, nine, 10, whenever I say trauma, it's like, this is a glass with water in it. We're done. I don't go into the carpet underneath or anything like that.

So around those ages, there's trauma. And that could be a car accident. Somebody dies, something that scares you. So the neighbor killed them. And then it's the way you ask questions and people respond, like, now, like, wow, I'm like, I'm four foot 11, a value. Then you go to high school and you have a boyfriend

that comes in a four foot 10. You go, hey, that's almost all of me. This guy's great. No, then you don't even know you're settling. Now you're at four foot 10. You started at five, two, you're not even out of high school yet. So what I try to do before I begin a reading is get people to realize, like you're five, two, like you're seven feet tall. Like you take up the entire room in the space. Like you really, you have gravity. You've tremendous the entire room in the space. You really, you have gravity. You've tremendous gravity and you're incredibly beautiful. But we've accepted all of us myself that we're just smaller and smaller and smaller. And then life just kicks in and

knots. And you get your face pushed into yellow snow a few times and you're like, well, I'm four or five. No, you're not. So it's that process of constantly, I don't know, working on, because you're peeling back all these layers, and it's easier, I guess, to keep feeling like you're knocking yourself down, but don't you think it is making you stronger

by peeling back these, I know what you're saying, but like you're pushing for it. I'm saying you're not, well, I'm saying what I do is the conditioning about the mother and the father, like nobody has a kid to do worse than what they had. Nobody, it's impossible. It's as if it's a sin against the universe.

It's impossible to have a kid and go, I'm not gonna be as good as my parents. It's there's that one thing you lacked, physical affection, attention, validation, that you go, when I have a kid, my thing was confusion. My son, my sons will never, yes, his name is Meredith. My sons will never be confused.

They'll never have that confusion. The rules will never change. My son will never go, they know how to fight. My son will never go to school when somebody goes, hey, someone's looking for you and have that fear all day of like, what the fuck did I do do that this guy wants to fight me? I don't even know My sons will go well. Where is he?

You trade them you taught them that's that's but I'm sure of I'm certain I have created craters Of course. Well, that's what I'm saying you always do that's a thing about parenting It's like because I hear I've so many friends with kids most of them do and they're like, to give those days where they're like, I'm a terrible parent, I'm gonna mess up, but you do your best and hopefully you do better than your parents did, right? You learn you're like, I'm not gonna be a parent like that.

But there's always this sense of like, you feel like maybe you're not a good parent or just accepting the fact that you know there's gonna be some ways you mess them up, if you will. But what I'm saying is that's our challenge. Is it like, I feel like the stuff I've worked through with my family is like a gift truly, because I wouldn't be who I am today

had I not had all those struggles. Like they are directly related to those struggles to where I am and how I sit today. And I'm still peeling back the layers of it, but it's almost like- What about the joy? What about the joy and the love and the happiness? Oh, I have a lot of that too.

We'd imagine those. I know. So easy. So easy. Right. I have a lot of joys with my parents too. My mom's amazing. Really supported, really smart. There's qualities about you that you don't address. Not you. No, I'm like, yes. Well, you know, like, are my parents at this, not you again. I need really, because I would never attack like that. And we never go like, hey, I know when I make a phone call to say hi, it's John Moore calling me I speak with that's because I saw my dad do that all the time

That's I when you shake somebody's hand you look him in the eye you give him a nice shake When you're in a fight you hit first you hit fucking hard When you hug somebody don't do anything else I Love that I true just that's actually mine. I made up no No, no, I had to add it on out. I was like, I ran out of one. It's time to do something. I have a list of you. You talk about giving that hug to someone

when you hug someone to be present and to wait that moment of like, like have a real fucking moment where you're looking at each other's eyes and you're hugging and you're feeling it. I think we're losing that. We are, oh, we lost it. You see that with the kids?

I was thinking this outside. I was like, yes, I'm on social media Instagram is really important all that but it's like guys hit each other's backs Yeah, do hug your friends. Are you a hugger? I kiss my friends on the cheeks like all the time guys in an neighborhood like I hate going He's a friend of us Like I feel like that's what came over last night. We did the Lakers podcast that we do big hug kissed each other Last night we did the Lakers podcast that we do. Big hug, kissed each other. That's all you.

And Mark was like, I'm not gonna play basketball. Yeah, no, but she got, I think just that's important of being a being- I love him. I love that. I am in love with my friend. I am currently in love with the man, the Amerin.

I'm currently in love with Cory Frye. I'm currently in love with Landon Lynn, who lives in Portland, Oregon. His brother Logan is like soulmate type stuff. It's not like I'm gay for these people. No, but you got your girlfriend in your. Like, these are people like through everything. They've just, it's like,

there's a shitty neighborhood with a terrible store front. The lights are off and in the middle of the night says toys, a letter's missing. And for like 18 years, they've had one eye and this shitty cloudy wind on like, I think way in the back there's an awesome bike. And they just hung around. So that neighborhood got its shit together.

So that's who you love. Right, that's true. Those are your friends, those are your people. I use too many analogies. No, you don't. So in the last year, I want to ask you, no, you're good, you're good with analogies. Sometimes I struggle with that. I'm like, what's that in the moment? I get anxious and I forget things in the moments and times. So I can't.

Why do you think you're going to anxious? Oh God. Who knows? I'm Jewish. You mentioned, I do a joke on my act where I go, if you have a friend and you're not sure if they're Jewish or not, they're not. There's no ambiguity. And they will mention it often about things that make no sense when it comes to Judaism, daughter of Zion, son of... Like, we went out on David's boat out in Pyramid Lake and I sat in the front, I'm a Jew. You're like, wait a minute, seating arrangements at sea. I've been doing it right.

Is real, I don't have a chart for this in my head. This is weird. No, I understand. We do it in the comments. Maybe blue, I'm Jewish. What? No, it's true. We do do that.

But I feel like the Jewish neuroticism or the anxiety. First of all, I think everybody's going to a lot of anxiety right now. I think it's coffee. Yes. I think we've always had it, but I think we have more coffee and more stimulants in our life.

I think coffee is better. Constant. No, no, no, I'm not because it's always a constant. Stop fucking pointing at me right now. I know pointing is bad, but my, but the thing is that coffee, our parents are like a cup of coffee, right? Like bad coffee at home, but now we're having huge coffees. I'm not saying that's the only thing.

I've just been watching everyone walking around with their huge drinks for 20 years, and that's gonna contribute to it. But for me, it's the phone. It's the phone, the phone, the for me, it's that I'm Jewish. The phones, the anxiety, I'm sorry. It's not because you're Jewish. That doesn't make sense. You don't have anxiety because you're Jewish.

You heard that when you were out four foot nine and made you four foot nine. No, it's actually me. We're Jewish, that's how we are. It's been living in LA for five years because in San Francisco, yes, there are Jews. What if it's just you? What if you just have anxiety because you're a human being and it doesn't need a label

There's not a hook to hang a coat on you said why you anxious and I could say okay, I could give you the real answer I have a lot of things going on. I know I think what's let's control time not the other way around Don't you get you just got a little louder a little quick for me because I can't keep up and I want a catalog Just because you're important to me You said you have anxiety because other people drink coffee It was on really good because you're Jewish and living in LA. I'm like That's I'll break it down for you. There's anxiety Because you're a person and

Every person has anxiety. My anxiety, which I don't feel ever, comes out of my rear end as diarrhea. That's how I know I have it. And I'm not a zombie. And otherwise you don't feel it because it's never served me and I've just jettisoned it somehow. Right.

I think like being a wrestler first and then a comedian, I mean, that's, it's just a monastic life. It's like, it's just you and if you fail, you're fucking out. Like if you bond, starting, you don't get invited back. And if you lose in a wrestling match. And then when you coach wrestling, it's like, are they listening to me? I better really act.

Like I know what the hell I'm saying. Even when it's like my first coaching gig ever, you have to come up with a whole thing and how to start a practice and how to keep everybody engaged and their millennials. So they're just like, what? That's what everybody says.

We need to ask, how about this? No one, follow this today, as your listeners too. No one answers a question. The one in front of them, they just go left and they go right and practice this, go, that's cool, same question. Say those exact words. Just keep bringing it back to the question.

But every time it happens during the day, you'll see if you just keep the same mantra. That's cool. Same question, same spacing and timing. That's cool. Same question. Do you get your answer then? Maybe, maybe not.

But it's fast. Do you guys sell a Esquire magazine? If we do, it would be, yeah, that's cool. Same question. I'm at the fucking magazine, right? Obviously. Right, I'm looking, I'm here, I don't. Tell me if you should have it.

Like where did you grow up? Well, when I was this, when I was that, and this, you know, okay, that's cool. Same question. Nobody answers a question anymore. Do you think that they answer it to, I'm answering your question with a question? Because, but why do you think that is?

We're not focused or we don't want to, or we want to tell too much backstory. So when you ask me why do you have anxiety, I could have just been like, I don't know. I've got a lot of stress in my mind. I don't know why I've anxiety. I've always had it.

The answer is you don't know. You don't know. No. All I know is that I... I don't know, I can teach you this truly. I don't know is the best answer if you don't know. I tell my kids that if you don't know, don't we get started?

We're talking about coffee. We're talking about our parents coffee. They're not here, you know what I mean? If you don't know, you don't know. I don't know why I'm anxiety. You don't know, life, period. It's too macro a question why you have anxiety. I don't know, life, period, it's too macro a question why you have anxiety.

Yeah, but I think I can remember when I first had it, I can remember when it started, I can remember when it didn't exist. And I can't deny existence, that's fascinating for me. When it wasn't as, I guess, chronic maybe. So. You said did not exist. It did not exist. Okay, it's like the low buzz, I guess,

it's always there. I repeat it for me not to like correct you. Do you do what it often doesn't exist, and I think you might be able to, I was listening to something that I think it was one of your talking about stand up, it's that the reason why I love doing this and I'm not saying I don't have immense anxiety before I come in here, especially you coming on, I want this good interview I worry and then after I'd be like I hope that was good But in the moment with you and doing a show I'm super present and there's no anxiety in me right now Yeah, there's not two anxiety since we've had this conversation Twirling your hair and when I said let's control time not tell me around yeah I just felt like oh no, it's my time. You know what, that triggered me

is because I'm not great with time management. Oh, I try to race board all over my house to say time management. They do? I'm the worst. Yeah, the worst. I need someone to sit with me and they do this and my office, the team is like 15 minutes left.

You have 12 more minutes to finish this. We can help each other. We're both so thirsty right now. A thirsty, thirsty, or thirsty for help? It's so thirsty. Because I'm thirsty. I'm like, I'm thirsty because you're doing some blowjob spray.

Whoa, hey, wait a minute. Hey, you're into pegging. Sure. I don't know if you could put spray and blowjob close enough together. Sorry. Anxiety when you did not have it. I think that there's better.

When you had a daddy. No. Now I know the daddy can be, well, we didn't even get to the daddy thing. That is when a lot of it, I think that there's better. When you had a daddy. No. No, I know. The daddy, we didn't even get to the daddy thing. That is when a lot of it, me and my dad did die. No, no, I didn't mean your father. Oh, you know. Oh, sorry, daddy what?

No, I was doing about, could we were talking off my, we didn't even get to the mother stuff. Daddy issues. Yeah, the daddy sex thing. What's the mother stuff? A lot of guys have mother stuff. Yeah, yeah, guys have mother stuff of mother I mean sexually they have mother stuff Yeah, that's that's fine for them if they have mother stuff

What are the daddy stuff with sex you're saying you're into that like girls getting daddy call you daddy I was I was with a girl and she said She said fuck me daddy. And I, wow, that whistle went off in me that I didn't know existed. Oh, good whistle, like a whistle, not like an alarm bell. Oh, that came later and I'll explain that for you. Like at the carnival where you take the giant mallet and you hit the thing and it shoots up and you hit the bell and there's that like weakling, strong guy. But if some guy goes bang and he goes all the way up and hits the bell,

it shot through that. And then I shot through, and nothing really had worked on me for a very long time. Oh. And when it was over, the most Hollywood sentence on earth, I called Dr. Drew, and I said,

I'm a little freaked out because this girl said this, and I came like the fucking cannons at an ACD, she conspired those about to rock. We salute you! And he says, well are you attracted to children? I'd welcome up. He goes, I go, no, and he goes, so then what's the problem? I go, well, I don't know if you heard but I just said prior to you asking me that question, it turned me on and he goes, oh, okay, yeah. It's value, daddy is value and he's very, no, he's a dear friend and I told him every step

of the way when I was going under. And he said, coming from where you came from, when do we eat, when daddy gets home, who has the answers, daddy? Why am I entirely safe daddy? So it's value and women want to feel so I felt six feet tall for the first time In a very long time and that made me feel manly Mm-hmm And then you want to care for that like I get to care for someone not be a nuisance orisance or a annoying toddler around somebody at all the time. And that happens in a lot of relationships,

the toddler and the nuisance. We don't know, I do say this on stage, I'm not trying to up bits on you, but- No, I don't care, tell me. That's- We don't know when we go from the man of your dreams to just a toddler that bugs you. It's about a year and a half,

because when we ask you to marry us, before the other half of the box comes out, you're like, oh my gosh. You cry in the restaurant. You didn't even give a shit to people who your mascara is running like, oh my god. And then two years later, why are you in the bathroom so long? It's like, I don't know. I don't wipe my ass right. I don't know what to say. I don't know. Right. Who'd you talk to when you walked the dogs? I talked to a wrong.

He looks, how do you know him? Like, well, I don't know. Right. But these things, I think you could know before you get married. I believe that if you're really vulnerable in a relationship and, oh, but like, they would know you're walking the dog and you'd be with someone who's like, that's cool. You made friends in neighborhood and they weren't. I'm not saying you don't find stuff out after you get married because that's to do your best work. It seems to be a stand up.

It seems to be a universal thing where it's like the man your dream becomes, you see a guy introduces wife at a party, he's like, this is Emily, I thought, you know, I thought about Emily, and they're like, yes, you did. All right, great, wow, you're right, man, beautiful. You see a lady introduced her husband at the party like, so then we were going to, at the corporal lane, we wanted to be, oh, this is Jeff.

It's cheese, Jeff, okay? It's cheese, it's just cheese. Oh, this is Jeff. It's cheese, Jeff. Okay? It's cheese. It's just cheese. No, but it's cheese. So anyway. So how do you in relationships then? Do you know people, how many friends you have

that are in happy marriages, happy relationships? Truly like, of course you hate them half the time, maybe your partner, maybe a little less than half. Because I've never hated my partner. Not you hate. Okay, so I'm sure you've friends with struggles, but the healthy, how many people do you know in healthy relationships that you'd be like?

70% 30%. Really? The ones that are in them. 70% are happy. The ones that are in them. Of your friends. Yeah. Truly.

I mean, like attracts like, like if you're a cheater, you hang out with cheaters because you want to do cheating things. If you don't cheat, you hang on guys that find it important. And like, eh. But do you think there's anything? No, you avoid it. I did all my daddy stuff, and you totally skipped that you had daddy issues. Don't leave me on that island.

Yeah, no, I think my daddy issues are related to, well, my dad dying. I was 19, I was 49. I know, not hot. But what I was telling you was that I've actually went with guys who went to the daddy thing in recent years and I'm like Oh, that's hot and I can I can get turned on by it because I love feeling like the little girl and being taken care of and safe And it's just hot to someone dominate you. He word, but I don't really little little little little girl

No little to be little and to be held Where are we are? Let's go all the way around somebody to the other side. Yeah. We guys want that. I know we all just want to be hugged. If I was in prison and the guy was fucking me and I eventually went fuck me daddy, I guarantee you I would come harder than I ever came in my life. I'm not taking off the table from me. Do you know what I mean?

It's that sick, it's that being that little baby bunny in the palm of a hand. That's what it is. And you do it. And it's fine. And that's healthy. I love that you call Drew and you was like, that's cool. He's like, wait, are you a pedophile?

No, cool. Yeah, go with it. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. And you have to be brave to do it too. Like you wanted to care of somebody that can be that brave. You don't want to weed it out of him. You don't want to be like, don't forget.

I really like when you say this. Then it's like, ugh. Yeah, but sometimes, yeah, that's true. But sometimes you gotta tell your partner what you like, because it sounds like you're a great sex, but in your relationship, prior. But I think sometimes you do have to be like, oh, I'm kind of into this thing, is that cool? And then you find out if it is. Well, I never did.

What's interesting is in the marriage, I never had that at all. It was because of how low I got, how I felt about myself, how low I felt about myself, and I've never been like a self-loathing guy, self-pity guy. And I realized like, oh, I collect resentments like stickers on a cartoon suitcase. Like it's my whole identity. Is this resenting people being kind of angry? From, yeah, because you can't take it out, and the person you're trying to save, you're trying to keep somebody above water or keep the two people above water. Right.

So you would say that's what happened in your marriage that the resentments were building. Are you collecting them in your life with others? You're trying to keep somebody above water or keep two people above water. Right. So you would say that's what happened in your marriage that the resentments were building. Are you collecting them in your life with others? In life, I do. And then like it's, can you believe that should happen to me? And then you, it's like being a second term present, like Nixon was bananas because he didn't realize like it's your second term to relax.

You're spying on people. You can't run again. But, right. You know, sore winner in relationships when you have these unresolved like, resentments, it can be really hard to get. I can't be like, go out and buy some sexy lingerie. Like, if you built this stuff up over time and you guys haven't dealt with your issues,

it's really hard to kind of get back to the sex, to the sexy. The best way I can explain it without being disrespectful to somebody who's not here is a photograph and somebody's fading from the photograph. And you go, you're fading from this, like, no, I'm right there in the way of all of it. And you go, no, now you're actually fading from this photograph. Like, we should move it out of this part of the room because there's too much light on it. You're kind of fading from the photograph. I kind of need you in this photograph

and What I said to Neil and Gabby was it's like you go in the Empire State Building and you had every single floor in the elevator And the second floor pang you get out and you go can we talk about what happened in the lobby? That was kind of like No, I'm totally okay with what like anyone's like you get back in because like the doors are gonna close So you get back in fifth floor. We have let's talk about what happened on the fourth the third second in the lobby You get to the 80th et cetera then you go by the way when I get to the top I have to jump off That's where this is going. I'm trying to alert you that this is you're never coming out of the elevator to talk to me And this elevator goes to the top right leap off the building right let's talk about the 111

and this elevator goes to the top right, leap off the building. Right. Let's talk about the 111, 110, 10, 10, 10, 10, 9, and then you get to the top and you jump off the Empire State Building and the moment before you hit the concrete, you hear, let's go to therapy. It's so true, that's when she's running.

And you're like, people love me when I'm leaving. Right. When I'm leaving, it's like, where's Elvis? What the fuck, what do you mean he's not in the building? What happened? Because that's almost what people need. They need the extreme of like leaving something it's like, where's Elvis? What the fuck, what do you mean he's not in the building? What happened? Because that's almost what people need. They need the extreme of like leaving

something bad's gonna happen. And they're like, oh no, I've changed, I'm better. But you gave, it sounds like you gave a lot of time. I gave more, I tapped the well. There's a well beneath the well that many people don't know they have. And that's what I discovered. And there's a well beneath that well.

What do you think you learned? So we started out saying, I started saying that, I was impressed that you're like every stone on turn, like you did it all. Like what would you say now? And I know it's so painful. I feel like it all. What would you look?

Well, that's all that, no one else is tired. Like a guy watching the sun go down in California, a guy watching the sun come up in Japan, there's a guy in the moon looking at Earth, you didn't see any sun and all three guys are right. Do you know what I mean? So I don't want to say like, I can do it. But that's how we go up. But you there's a guy in the moon looking at Earth, you didn't see any sun and all three guys are right. Do you know what I mean? Right.

So I don't want to say like, I do. But that's how we go up. But you know, but here's the thing, we all know when we did everything. We all know. I did everything I could. I did more than I ever knew I had in me. Right. I did, I had an extra lifetime or two of effort that I never knew existed.

Right. So that's amazing. And then you can actually go and well, maybe I could have showed it because this is right, you tell my friends, I'm like, have you guys in therapy? Nothing I could have done. The only thing I could have done is throw somebody over my shoulder and go into a psychiatrist's office or a therapist's office.

But you don't want to do that. It's like a addiction, unless you admit you, there's a problem, your powerless, you're not gonna get help. So what I learned from it all was, it's kind of like a worst-case scenario. I tell wrestlers that's like, the worst thing you do is show me how good you are

because then I'm gonna expect it. Like in the army, you don't want to be the guy that's great at cleaning toilets because they're like, Michael, you know what your job is. Clean everybody else's dukes. So, I know my vigilance, I know my relentlessness, and that's always been a negative with me. I'm like a dog with a chuteaui at times.

That insatiability. Right, I get it a chuteau at times that incessibility. Right, I get it. And then I actually saw it in gentility and speaking a different way and choosing words super carefully to not hurt someone's feelings and that's something you can never regret. People say I regret. I wasted 10 years of my life. I'm like, no, you got to love somebody every day. They love you. There was nights she went out and you went, I look good. She did that for you. Yeah. I don't, yeah. I don't believe that marriages people should regret or look at as like a huge failure.

Because if you were in it, you did it. You got married, you had a relationship at work till it didn't work. So the love you felt was real. That was real. It doesn't, like, did you break a bone as a, when you were little, little, little, little, different stitches? No. Toothpoles.

No. You ever break a bone as good? I know. I wish I could hold you. How old are you? Do you have a cast? No, I had one of those, you know, a church of things on the board. Seven years old. And look, she knows it exactly.

Right. That's still on the scoreboard, pain. Right. So you can't take love off the scoreboard if you're going to leave broken bones on the scoreboard. It's not it's in Congress. You can. Right. You know, no, I get it. You can't. Right. Did you have the daddy thing going in and guys tapped the well and you went, oh, wow, now this is where I get to be taken care of, feel tiny and feel, does it make you feel sad? I mean,

it doesn't make you feel... Going into relationships, not like the daddy, like call me daddy, you just mean in relationships in general, the dynamic, is that right, I'm not. No, the daddy things specifically, by the way, to the listeners, we were talking about this off-mic. Right, when you're like, hey daddy.

When you're like, lead with it. Yeah, we're leading with it. So we don't... And I only mean, I don't want somebody like, fucking Ralph's to call me daddy. No, no, no, it's a second. I get it, they'll get it. They'll get it.

In bed, like it's hot, exactly a free, usually penetration. If I get the person that's free, I'll lie on the ring. Right, but. Come to bed. Not pretty like in the grocery store, but yeah, in the kitchen. Did you always have that and you laid dormant

and you know it till somebody questioned wanted? I didn't know. I don't know. Here's the thing. I'm very open sexually. So I feel like to me, it's energy. So when you're with someone, No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, to create whatever sex you're gonna have. So I don't really go in with like, I must have this, I must have that. Certain things like oral sex, I need to be paid attention to you, I need to feel good, I don't want my orgasm, all that stuff.

But as far as every time I need to wear this, do this, sit in this way, it's not like that was sex. Yeah, that's how, go get a dog. So sex is like art, right? So every time you're with someone, they're dancing. But I wanna know like, you get them. Exactly. Like Alan Watts, the British philosopher said, you don't dance

to get that certain spot on the floor. You dance to dance. Yeah, exactly. You know, you listen to, you play a piano. You know, we work a piano because life should be more like music. He says otherwise, the greatest composers, which is right, the last chord, over and over.

You go to a symphony and be like, don't, it's the whole thing, but I think you misunderstood the question. Like, I discovered very suddenly that that was something that really turned me on. And you said you had boyfriends who had turned them on, but I wanted to know if it's something that laid dormant in you that actually turns you on. Oh, that I didn't talk about. And then I was so glad that someone did it. I don't know. I don't know. It felt good. It felt with this partner. I was't talk about, and then I was so glad that someone did it. Not glad that you didn't even know.

It felt good. It felt with this partner, I was like, oh yeah, I'll do it. But in the past, I had in my brain, I'd thought, if a guy said daddy, I was like, I'm not into it, but with this guy, it's like, it's hot, it just worked. And you have to, there's so much trust.

You have to feel daddy, like you have to, I don't know how to explain it. Yeah, like safe and trust, and that's why. You have to feel tiny and safe don't know how to explain it. Yeah, like safe and trust, and that's why. You have to feel tiny and safe, and that person's always, yeah. Yeah, and it's awesome. So it wasn't like it was a dormant, no. But I put it back.

I don't love vitamins, but I take them. Right. So you don't want it to be like that. Like, all right. Oh, I would never see. I think back in the day when I was before I started this show, because I started this show because I was like, I think sex could be way better according to everybody else.

And my sex is like mediocre. This is when you started this podcast. Yeah, I was like, I don't know if I know. I wasn't like that. You started this podcast, have better sex than it worked. Totally. Errations with J-more.

Yeah, exactly dude, you can do it. No, I started because I was like, why I never wanted to be like normal. And that we named to the podcast. There's nothing normal about you. There that we named. There's nothing normal about you. There's nothing, there's nothing ordinary about any of us. And you're, I know. You're the lead sled dog.

It's true. Nobody pulls the lead sled dog out of the line and goes, you're doing really great. Because they just assume you know it. But you said you have anxiety on the way here and on the way out. Yeah, I might be like, should I fasten this? Was it good? Did you guys like it? I'll do that. It's the best case scenario. You get to come here and you get to on the way out. Yeah, I might be like, should I fasten this? Was it good?

Did you guys like it? I'll do that. It's the best case scenario. You get to come here and you get to do whatever you want. No, it is true. When you get to audition with Al Pacino, people go, you must have shit your pants. I'm like, no, it's fucking Al Pacino. I get to act.

I was with some like casting director in the valley for two weeks. Now there's an actual guy playing the guy. So I get to do it for real. But apparently that's not normal. What happened was I thought, okay, well everyone wants to get married of kids. That was never like my drive. It was always like my mission, my purpose

was to do something that felt really good to me and that would change the world. It felt like it had been this bigger thing. I had set up a lot of things that I wanted to accomplish that trumped anything around marriage. It can't be used to where it trumped anymore. It's funny around marriage and kids, but I thought it also that trumped anything around marriage. Can you use the word trump anymore? It's funny around marriage and kids, but I thought it also. So there was the marriage family thing, like what's wrong with me that I don't want that.

Maybe if I interview a lot of people who are in relationships, out of relationships, maybe it'll make sense to me. Maybe I could kind of tweak what's in my brain. This was initially starting. And then also when people were like, I had amazing sex last night. It was the best sex in my life. I was like, I've had good sex. I don't think I've had like a meat.

I mean, I've had what I think is great. I think it'd be so much better. Because I'm still. No, I think, no, but that then I thought that. But still, I think. You know what I think now? It's almost like I couldn't see, because I didn't see.

Right. And then I saw, and then once I saw, I didn't see what I couldn't see. Right, right. I think you know what you don't know. At didn't see. Right. And then I saw. And then once I saw, I didn't see what I couldn't see. Right, right. I think you don't know what you don't know. At the British con. Right, exactly. Yeah.

And I feel like now it's way better. I know the basics, right? Like, now I know the basics. The basics. First base, kiss. No, literally, but I know my body. And then, wow, second base, stand up double. I was also like, I didn't know how to ask for what I wanted.

I didn't know even what felt good to me. It was like I found grabbing him by the face and saying it angrily gets a really great response. Saying what angrily mean. Fuck me goddamn it. You fuck like just grabs a guy. That's what I do to you guys when I go to the YMCA. Not sponsored.

Not sponsored by I'm saying. What about your podcast? Tell me, should we let's talk about your podcast? Tell me, should we, let's talk about your podcast. There's more stories. It's got its own app. Podcast One app as well. And I'm very proud of it.

Yeah, it's really been doing for a while. It's great. And thank you. And the ones that get that, you know, you fight so hard, you get like the biggest guests on earth. And then like, I'm in my truck wearing ear buds. And I just talk about what I'm going through.

And those are the ones that like, double the listenership. People just want to hear you. Because it's like, hey, man, I gotta be transparent what I'm going through and those are the ones that like double the listenership. People that's wanting to hear you. Because it's like, hey man, I gotta be transparent. I gotta be true. Well that's what I love about, yeah. Full. You just in the moment you're going

like here's what happened today and here's what's going on. Without airing somebody out, but like going back to AA and like, I mean, I was in a mental hospital. I was gonna ask for a bed and I thought, I got the improv tomorrow, I can't let read it down. Fuck. So then I left, I was visiting somebody else after an intervention, and then I had the improv

the next night, then Sunday morning at a great meeting, and then Monday morning, it was like, we're like, 70, I'm wrestling practice. So the combo of those three things was like, clear, woof, and it just brought me back to life. But I was ready to lay down. I was ready to just lay down, and like, somebody monitored me, I'm going insane. And you. That's the last year. No, that's within the last

year like being sober, working steps, having a sponsor. It's just, it's a crazy world out there. When you keep being accountable, because my program is about transparency and accountability, all accountability all the time, high road, high road, high road, it's exhausting. It is exhausting. It's like, I want to dig a tunnel, fuck high road. I would love to have more stories. I'm going to Florida for two weeks. I would love to be out of this. I would love to be out of this.

I would love to be out of this. I would love to be out of this. When people are listening to this on this Friday because you subscribe to it and you're waiting to review it because it's great. It's sex with Emily. And I'm right now about to go on stage in front of Drunks. Right now?

In Tampa when they hear this on Friday. Oh good, okay, in Tampa. We're also going to be in. In a travel. So everyone can visit your podcast. I'll have to- More stories, M-O-H-R, stories, Salon podcast one, and you're at J-More 37.

That is correct. Facebook more stories at jmore.com. This will all be on our website. My everything is so fun. I feel like it's just a great website by the way. I'm really like- It is a great site. A lot of content.

Okay, I'm at the Hollywood and Problem on Melrose. May 5th and May 26th. Singo to Mayo on May 26th. May 5th, May 26th, Saturday, 8 o'clock, no opening act. And just me for 90 minutes. I might just have to come by then. No, you're going. You're going.

Bring a date or four. Yeah, let's see what I can do. I love just have to come by then. No, you're going. You're going. Bring a date or four. Yeah, let's see what I can do. I love you. This is great. Everyone on your wonderful. I know. Right. Good energy.

How long can you read Pinterest, Shannon? What are you doing? They're quotes with pictures of lions on them. Thank you, Jay Moore. Thank you, everybody. you