Sex With Emily - No Shame in a Bigger, Sexier Brain with Jim Kwik

Episode Date: April 10, 2018

The Brain is the largest and most important sex organ, so on today’s show Emily is joined by her friend and one of the world experts on optimal brain performance Jim Kwik – who also hosts the top training podcast, Kwik Brain. The two talk about how to sharpen and focus your memory (no more forgetting your anniversary), the two most costly words in a relationship, and how to lead with your emotions. This is just part 1 of this interview – stay tuned for part 2 where you can follow along with Emily and Jim during their brain exercises! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Roman, UVee & Magic Wand, Apex, Fleshlight Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily, so you know the brain is the largest and most important sex organ, so I figured why not work with one of the world experts on optimal brain performance. Today I host my good friend Jim Quick, a world expert in speed reading and memory improvement who has trained everyone from Will Smith to Elon Musk, plus his host of the top training podcast Quick Brain. Whether you want to tap the power of your most important sexual organ or just tired of your lover not remembering your anniversary, this show on memory is one you'll never forget. We talk about how to sharpen and focus your memory, be more present with your partner, the two most costly words in a relationship, and how to lead with your

emotions. This is part one and I'm excited to release part two tomorrow where we actually go through the exercises. Enjoy the show, thanks for listening. I'm excited to welcome Roman to Sex with Emily. I get a lot of questions from guys about ED and Roman is here to help. There are a men's health company that offers online diagnosis

and monthly delivery of medication. I'll tell you all about it later in the show. To say $50 off your first month, visit getroman.com slash Emily. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ They're gonna get through eyes. They call them in a bag on me. Hey, Aveline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. Hey, girls, gotta have a stand. Oh my!

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, not only? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. I'm so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Aveline's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. From our information, check out the podcast. On iTunes, you guys, you know I love reading your comments. I love that you subscribe and I so appreciate your reviews. So here's our latest review from Gunner 401. In the movie, Revenge of the Nerds, the 10 Looking Girl at the end of the movie is astonished at the skill of her ugly nerd lover.

She poses the question, how could this be? To which the nerd replies, jocks, think of sports all day and nerds think about sex all day. Emily makes it easy to become a nerd about sex, sexuality, and everything else that has to do with sex using the simplicity of a podcast. Turning us all into better and more skilled and more compassionate lovers. Rock on, Emily. Thank you so much Gunner for a one. That was a great review. I loved it. I want to send them a t-shirt. I do. I like you, Gunner for a one. Thank you for that. And you guys again, we read all your reviews. We appreciate it. It helps the show. And also I love when you guys check out our website. I have an awesome team and they're here to tell you about the brain because you

guys, the brain is our largest sex organ and a lot of times we're focused on our how we look on the outside. But when our brain is working well, everything else falls into place. So I'm excited for my interview today with Jim, but also Jay Marahue who works with me wrote a great series on Sex and the Brain. She's gonna tell you a little bit about it. Hi. Hi. What's up, sweetie?

We loved your series. Tell me about your inspiration for it. What people can learn. I wanted to really simplify the different things that can affect our arousal that are pretty dependable in our brain chemistry and how we're affected by stress and our hormones, how fatherhood can be turned on or off for our survival. Basically, like your brain is at all times pretty active and it's important to get to know what's going on so you don't

make it personal, blame your partner, blame yourself, and put all of the attention on the wrong part of yourself. When it could be something as simple as your diet or as your body trying to make you less sexual as a man because it wants you to be a better father. I mean it's still our father. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so balancing things out so that mothers and fathers can both be equally as equally capable, capable parents, like any human parents. Yeah. So we make it fun, we make it sexy and make it very digestible

and these articles and try and get you as familiar with your sexy brain as possible. It's good. Thank you. They're awesome. So just go to sex at only.com and search sex in the brain. Right? Jamie? Hi, Jamie. Anything you want to add? J-Dom, besides your birthday coming up, I'm going to roast your ass next week. Yes, she's starting to know. 25.

I know. I'm so excited. But yeah, no, I mean, they're really good articles. I really like getting to read them and work on them with J. They're just so good and so informative. And there's stuff that even I found out that I had no idea like these, there's one particularly it's called

chemically induced personalities and how there's certain hormones in there, your brain that kind of drive you to be a certain type of person and what you're attracted to. And I think it's just like so interesting. And there are really cool gifts in it, sorry. That's the only part I really contributed.

It's a whole package. Yeah, well thank you guys, thanks to my amazing team. Since we're always putting out great content, if I do say so myself, check it all out on the website on social media, it's all at sex with Emily on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and Twitter. So check all that out. And I'm also excited for our April video series.

We've got a few, did you know videos coming your way in a few weeks just to kind of brush up on your sex 101 game? And if you have specific things you'd like to learn from our other video series, I know you guys have been digging them lately. Let us know. You can treat me your ideas,

add sex to them, or email us feedback at sexwithamlee.com. I'm very excited because my good friend, Jim Quick, is on the show today. Jim is a brain coach, memory coach, and he helps everybody that I know and high performers, people that you probably know, you're like, how does that person get so smart?

I bet Jim Quick might have had something to do with it. Now, we're only friends, he hasn't quite helped me become, solve a lot of my challenges around focus and attention and reading, but we're going to do that today. Hi, Jim. Hi, Emily. It's good to be here. I'm so glad you're here. I'm glad to be here. This is a real treat. Thank you everyone who's listening. Yeah, I'm excited. So I met Jim a few years ago at a a book launch for Dave Asprey, who was also recently on the show. And I remember that it was, you have your house, it was like you had all your superhero

pieces. I have a 10-foot Hulk in the backyard, yes. A few superhero Hulk, a few nice all-hawks, many things, and you were just cool and awesome, and then you came up to me, you're like, oh, I recognize your voice. I literally said that, because I had no idea what you looked like, but I heard your voice and I turned around and I asked you if your name was Emily. Yeah, and I was like, yes, and you're the one with the Hulk.

That's awesome. Let's be friends. So we've been friends and Jim, I just know what you do is so impressive to me that you can actually help people remember things, focus, attention, and I know that that's a challenge for me just in my day-to-day life But in relationships, in friendships, and right now, I feel that attention is getting our attention life

It's so scarved with everything happening on, you know, social media, digital digitally. We're all distracted all the time Like I used to think I was just kind of special for feeling 80-D But now everybody in the world is distracted and it does impact all of our relationships. So I thought you could come in today and we could talk about that. And I want just a little bit about your background about how you became the Jim Quick Master that you are. I was bitten by a radioactive elephant and I have this incredible memory now. But when it comes to relationships, I believe two of the most costly words are I forgot

You know what I mean? You like I forgot I forgot to do it I forgot I got forgot to bring it. I forgot that conversation. I forgot that person's name I forgot we had plans. I made other plans exactly. They show up. You're not there Yeah, it's one of those things where you text your significant others saying hey take the food out of the fridge or the freezer And then they say yes Of course, and then you come back and that nothing was done. You go on, they forget to do things. They forget to turn off the oven.

They forget whether they put the keys or not their keys, something larger like their car. They see the people in the parking lot and you wonder, I believe memory lapses, they heard relationships, personal and professional. So I like to fix people's forgetfulness. I like to help people to focus in a world full of distraction and I think it helps with their productivity their performance and They're a their peace of mind Yeah, you know, just like your mind is everywhere nowadays, you know, we're driven to distraction and What do people do? How do they get things done in a world full of app notifications? Social media alerts and all these things?

Right exactly and so the fact that you are able to in a world full of app notifications, social media alerts, and all these things. Right. Exactly. And so the fact that you are able to work with people and what I was hoping, like I've said, I always joke, because we hang out, we're friends. I'm like, you help everyone. Can't you? I'd love to know how to do this because I

feel that for so long, I was never able to, I don't know, was can't even focus out. And I think that ADD or whatever you want to call it is sort of a gift, right? There are a lot of creative minds. And we operate differently in the world, but it's really not, it's been a challenge. I just assume things about myself, for example,

like I can't read, I can't get through this entire book on time, I can't make appointments, I lose my car and my phone and my keys on a daily basis. Not my car, because I don't drive as much, but definitely leaving my house, it's like where are the phones, where are the keys? And I've studied organizations and systems and I've like have a cook for the keys.

A lot of my producer comes over and she's very gentle about it, but she'll come and ask, she goes, maybe if you put a bowl here, people have, I had therapists for years, we're like, maybe if you had one spot in your purse for your keys, or you wrote down things. So I've tried, and I think a lot of people have tried. They buy the bins, and they buy the things

to help them get organized. But I think the way that you come at it is very interesting, because also I have also come to believe that this is just how I am, and there's nothing you can do about it. I think a lot of people think, well, I just don't remember. I wrote it down. They just, we make assumptions that because we've been doing things this way, and our brain works this way, this just don't remember. I wrote it. They just, we make assumptions that because

we've been doing things this way and our brain works this way, this is how we are. We're wrong about that. So that's good. So what I would say is when people see me on stage, they'll see me memorize like, I'll have a hundred people stand up and I'll memorize all their names. Or they'll give me a hundred, you know, digit number or hundred words and I'll memorize them forwards and backwards. But I always tell people afterwards that I don't know, digit number or hundred words, and I'll memorize them forwards and backwards, but I always tell people afterwards that I don't do some pres you. I do this to express to you what's really possible, because the truth is every single person

listening this right now could also do that, and a lot more. It's just we weren't taught. If anything, I think we were taught a lie. A lie that somehow our intelligence, our potential, our abilities, somehow fix like our shoe size, and it's absolutely not true. We've discovered more about the human brain.

And when we're talking about relationships, I feel like that we are in the millennium of the mind. When people are dating people, it's important. You want to be with somebody who has more to offer than just maybe looks or something substantial. You have deep conversations with somebody, because you want to stimulate different parts of their body, but you definitely want to stimulate someone's brain.

Right, exactly. But the challenge is, we discovered so much about the human brain, and we're grossly underestimating our own capabilities. So really what this conversation is about, it's about transcending, it's about ending the trans, ending the trans that we're not good enough, that we're not smart enough. So I'm everybody- Stopping those the negative self-talk, I guess.

Yeah, and we can talk about that because everybody here, what we go through, I would love to do this actually, which is because we've always talked about this, his rolling up her sleeves and less getting into it, fixing forgetfulness and memory lapses and focus issues, all the things that could hurt your business, but certainly also your life. I think everybody could relate to this thing where they feel absent-minded, like senior moments are coming too early, or they need to remember people, like they meet somebody and then seconds later, the handshake breaks, and then the name just disappears.

Or they have a fear of public speaking. When I have shared the stage a number of times, but people get forgetful because they have to give a toast at a wedding or maybe a sales presentation at work and they feel like they're gonna get nervous and they're gonna not remember the things that they need to remember. So why is that?

Why is public speaking like the number one fear for people you think? You know what, I think it actually came from. So you asked me like how I got started on this journey because my two biggest challenges growing up were learning and public speaking. People don't know that, but my inspiration really was my desperation. When people see me do these mental feats and they hear that I read a book a day or you know I do these things where I can remember things, I always tell people

that had actually grew up with learning difficulties. A lot of people don't know that when I was a child I had a very bad head injury, I had brain damage. I had learning difficulties. I was put in special classes. And I couldn't focus. I had a very bad memory. I had teachers would have to repeat themselves three or four or five times. And it actually took me an extra four years just

to learn how to read. Because I had so many challenges. I taught myself how to read by actually reading comic books. That's why I love talking talk about superpowers and super heroes Because I feel like like reading it. I think you're a modern-day superhero You know, I super heroes somebody who has discovered their superpower and I don't mean When I talk about modern-day superheroes like yourself and some you know and people who are listening a super Piro somebody who has discovered and developed their superpowers. You have a unique ability, a talent, a strength that's yours.

But just having a super-powered doesn't make you a superhero, you have to use that power for good. You have to be able to express it. So you've gone through your life. A lot of times our mess becomes our message. Our struggles become our strength. We learn things through challenges. We get change. Now you learn all these things, and you're, you know, paying it forward. You're sharing

it with people who could really benefit, so they don't have to go through the same suffering. And I went through suffering. I mean, I, I've all through school. I got very bad grades. I would have worked three times harder than everybody else to get, you know, bad results. I thought it was so unfair. But I, it feel like when it comes to public speaking, I remember when I told you it took me, I couldn't read like all the other kids, they would pass around that book. I don't know if everybody would remember this.

Like in third grade or something, I remember that. I remember that. I think you had to read out loud. Right, that was so exciting. I did, I did. I was cutting just two. Yeah, because you get into a circle, right? It's still down.

Right, all the kids would get in a circle and you'd have to pass around that book, and then they would have to pass around that book. And then they would have to ask you to read out loud. And then the book gets closer and closer to you. And I get, and it was hard for me because I couldn't read. So I would just look at the page and those words didn't mean anything to me. So I would just actually just pass the book on and not say anything.

And I feel like, you know, when we talk about long-term memory, the key to long-term memory really is this and you could do this with me. Information, combined with emotion becomes a long-term memory, right? Information, right. Information, combined with emotion becomes a long-term memory and you know this because, I mean, think about it. You probably, there's a song that will take you back to when, you know, years, you know, when you're a teenager. There's probably a food or fragrance. It could be a perfume or a clone that will take you back, you know, to when, you know, years ago, because information alone is very forgettable.

But information combined with emotion becomes a long-term memory in that part of your brain. And so the challenge that when you go back to school is what was the primary emotion? How did you feel most of all? A stress, anxious, I was late, I couldn't focus. I couldn't, yeah, it was hard for me. Yeah. You were confused. Usually half the room is usually bored.

The other half the room is confused. But if you're both, yeah. Exactly. I thought everyone else was getting it down, but I was the only one who was confused. And you're not alone because this is this thing, is if you're listening to this right now and you feel overloaded You feel stressed you feel like you can't keep up with things the truth is it's not your fault It's just we weren't taught right if anything you know school taught us what to learn math history science

Spanish, but how many classes were on how to learn, right? How to actively listen, how to study, how to concentrate, how to focus, how to read faster, how to remember things, right? Back in school, they teach you three hours, right? Three hours in school, reading, writing, and arithmetic. Which doesn't even spell, right? Right. But what about, but the fourth hour

should have been maybe remembering, right? Retention, recall. Socrates says learning is remembering because there is no learning without remembering. And that's one of the challenges that we face today is we just can't remember things like we used to. Isn't it because we're distracted so much? I'm talking about growing up before cell phones and all that. It was still a challenge.

So now I can only imagine I can already feel it, but everyone has challenges now. I mean, you mentioned smart devices. I feel like we're outsourcing our brand. They actually call it, there's a new term in healthcare. They call it digital dementia. Digital dementia. This is where you're outsourcing your brains to your smart devices. And so your phones, it keeps your calendar, it keeps your to-dos, it keeps, it does simple math for you, right? It keeps your schedule.

Maps, like if my ways doesn't work, I don't know if I can get home. Exactly. It keeps, it keeps you from here to there. And it keeps all your phone numbers, you know, and it's true. I don't want to memorize 300 phone numbers, but we've lost the ability. But you could, if anyone could, this is true. But the truth is we've lost the ability just to remember one Like think about how many phone numbers you knew growing up right a lot all of them But how many phone numbers do you know like right now? You know, it's funny I don't but there's still like about eight friends that I still know that I see them

I'm like your phone number is and I say it's right because it's from yeah Because it's from that's it and that's a thing because the truth is everyone here It's your memory is like a muscle, but it's used it or lose it. If I take my arm and I put it into a sling for six months, would it grow stronger? Would it even stay the same? What would happen? It would just, it would atrophy.

It would get weaker. And that's what's going on with a lot of people's minds because it's used it or lose it. And you want to exercise those mental muscles. And the reason why this is so important, and so timely, this conversation right now, is because everybody was listening to this, you know, for the most part, and we're not paid for our brute strength, you know, we're paid and rewarded for our brain strength, right? It's not our muscle power, it's our mind power, and the faster you could learn, the faster you could earn, because knowledge is not only power, knowledge is profit, and I don't mean

financial profit. That's obvious. We live in this economy, knowledge, economy, And I don't mean financial profit, that's obvious. We live in this economy, knowledge, economy. But it's also these ideas where ideas can equal impact and income, but also just the treasures of our life, our health, our relationships. Because I mean, I'm looking at your bookshelf, you have all these books that are there. The challenges, how many people get books

or go out there and buy books, and they stay on the shelf. And it becomes shelf help, it doesn't become self-help, right? Right, it becomes shelf help and then it becomes anxiety help. I don't even help in that era, but I'm like, oh, I have to read that, I have to read that one. I did read all of these, most of these textbooks in school, but it's like, I don't know how much of my remember. A lot of them, it was a skimming maybe because I was rushing, but I'm just saying in life, we don't, it's been doing it in that space in our life to even know how to read. We don't know the habits of sitting

down and reading and focusing. I don't even, so when I say like in school, for example, I think you can relate to this too, is that I, I always pulled it off like I graduated with honors and I, I did well, but it was with such anxiety. It took me three times long to do things. Right. And that anxiety shows up in relationships. It shows up in our business. It shows up in our family. And when you're in fight or flight, we talk about public speaking.

When people are stressed and you create cortisol and adrenaline in the brain, it's good for physical activities, maybe, but it's not good if you need to study. It's not good if you need to be present with your lover. It's not good if you need to give a presentation in front of the next meeting or a toast at a wedding. And so that shuts down your brain. And so you can't think it's harder to focus and you make you more forgetful. And so we live in this world right now where it's like, you know, I talk about superheroes,

but I also talk about super villains. I think there's three super villains that are attacking us, our brains daily. Number one, it's about superheroes, but I also talk about super villains. I think there's three super villains that are attacking us, our brains daily. Number one, it's all digital, right? So number one, it's digital overload, right? There's too much information, too little time. It feels like, like, think about it, how many emails do you get?

So many emails. How many text messages and social media alerts and notes and stuff like that? So there's too much information I was doing a program. I heard that the chairman of Google said this, that the amount information that's been created from the dawn of humanity. Since humans walked the earth to the year 2003, which is only about a decade and a half ago, that amount of information. How long does it take to create that amount of information now? About two days. Every 48 hours that amount of information. Because we're all putting out information.

Think about the podcast. Think about the YouTube. all putting on information. Think about the podcast, think about the YouTube, think about social media, think about the blogs. There's so much information. So the amount of information is doubling it, disenging speeds, but how we learn it, how we read it, how we recall it, it's the same. And how do we sift through what is even interesting to us and what's important?

Exactly. That's a whole nother. Exactly. And that's the thing. So somebody will take a book and they'll highlight like everything, right? And then the book like glows in the dark because in a but it's here's the thing. If somebody will take a book and they'll highlight like everything, right? And then the book like blows in the dark because in a but it's here's the thing if you make everything important Then nothing is important. You know, we talk about the word like priorities Like in your relationship you need to have priorities and it's plural But the word priorities was only plural. It's only the few decades ago It used to be just priority. There was just like one important thing, because if everything's important again,

nothing becomes important. And even I know you talked a lot about to like note taking, like I was like that in college and think, because I labeled it as ADD, whatever, I would have to, I always go to library like six different highlighters and everything was in different colors and I had to like rewrite my note, I mean just so I could take stuff in, right?

But now it's like, I can't do that. There's a lot coming in. I mean, how do you, take stuff in, right? But now it's like, I can't do that. There's a lot coming in. How do you prioritize and take notes? And how do you know what is important? And that's the other thing. Getting the right state to actually learn and read. Is that?

That's a great point, because the second super villain, so the first one's digital overload. Oh, digital. Right? It's like too much overload. It's like taking sip of water out of fire hose. There's too much, and everyone's drowning in information, but they're starving for practical wisdom. That's why shows like this are so important because it gives people not only inspiration, but also the instruction. What to do,

because someone could be inspired, not know what to do, or someone could be completely instructional, and it's boring and somebody doesn't do it. Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is only potential power. It only becomes power when we apply it. Right. Right. People could be listening to this show, but if they're not using the information, then it's kind of not, not- Right.

It's like the same thing of listening to podcasts or buying self-help books or going to see coaches or classes. Right. You're like, I get it and then you leave and then, what do you do? Because here's the thing, because we could talk about things, and when I talk about memory and focus and reading faster, it might be common sense, but common sense is not common practice. And that's the big challenge. And so the second, well, I'm villain, I would say, is besides digital overload is digital

distraction. Right? There's so much noise. There's so many things that are vying for our attention. People in their relationships, they're not even really present because their minds are still multitasking. And the research on multitasking is everyone thinks that they're multitasking. They're able to, because we're on our smart devices

all the time, even at dates and stuff, right? Like it's, if you're always on their phone. I try to tell you guys not to be on your phone. And that's the thing, or in bed. Right, because it's very addictive. So one of the most important things that people could do, if they want a higher quality of life, higher quality of relationship,

higher quality of business. So successful people, they all have it to-do list. Successful people have it to-do list, and these are all things they need to do. Now, for most people, it just keeps on growing, right? But also, I've noticed that the happiest people and the most successful people also have it not to-do list, right? These are things that they will not compromise and they will not do. And sometimes they're not to do list, it's actually greater and longer than they're to do list. Like you mean example? So for example, on their not to do list

could be certain things like turning motions or in foods that they just won't indulge in. Here's a perfect example. And somebody's, I know a lot of people are gonna be upset at me saying this, but as a coach, I have to call people on their stuff. Something people should not do in the morning, first thing in the morning is go on their phone.

They shouldn't. The first hour of the day is so important. It's sacred. It should be sacred for everybody. Because if you want to win the day, you've got to win that first hour, right? But the challenge is- Pointing your team, so important.

The challenge is in the first thing in the morning, you're in this brain wave state, alpha, data state. So you cycle through these brainwave states throughout the day. Beta is your most awake like we are now. Delta is when you're asleep. In between there's theta and alpha. So theta is the state of creativity.

That's the state of inspiration. That's where, you know what, put you in that state? Taking showers. You know when you're in the shower, you're so creative, you come up with all these great ideas. I took five showers just to prepare for this conversation that we're having here. So that's the state where you're creating things.

But the alpha state in between data and beta when you're most awake, the alpha state is the state of relaxed awareness. Relaxed awareness is the state you're in when you're meditating, the state you're in, when, and you know what it is? A lot of people go stature in when you're meditating. The stature in when, you know what it is? A lot of people go in this state when they watch television.

So have you ever, you know, have a friend or, you know, the significant other watching television you're having a conversation with them, but they're not, they're in a trance. They're just not. But they're watching the TV, right? Exactly. So that trance is that alpha state.

And so it's actually, we train people to go into alpha states, you know, in our courses, to be able to learn languages faster, to be able to learn facts because information just goes right inside your mind and your conscious mind is not there filtering it out. That's why people have to be very careful of what they watch on television because it's programming them. I mean, it's actually called television, you know, programming, right? Because that information just goes in unfiltered. And so, but that alpha state, you're very suggestible. Well, okay. So for people who have had, like successful

changes with, like, hypnosis, they'll put you into an alpha state, and then they'll say, you are a non-smoker, or you are, you're healthy, and you're more likely to be able to adopt that belief. Can they do, like like you will always find your keys? Is that something that you could do? Yeah, you have great memory every day and every way you're getting better and better, you are focused, you know, you get things done. So when you're in that alpha stage,

you're highly suggestible. But my point in bringing this up is when you first wake up in the morning, you're in these relaxed states. So if the first thing you do in the morning, which is what most people do is grab your phone, you're literally rewiring your brain for two things. Number one, you're rewiring your brain to be distracted, right?

So every single time you get a like, a share, a comment, you're watching a cat video, whatever people are watching, you get this dopamine rush. And the dopamine rush literally is the reward center, the learning center, the motivation center of your brain. And so it's, so we did a podcast episode with Dr. B. J. Fogg, and he runs the Influenza Lab at Stanford University. And one of his students actually co-founded Instagram. And this is an app where we open at what?

150 times a day, so it's highly addictive and habitual. But that's what we want to be doing with our light for the positive things Because here's the thing when we talk about habits first you create your habits and then your habits create you First you create your habits and then your habits create you back So you have to be very conscious, but how many of us actually they say upwards of 40% of more of your day is spent Unconsciously habitual like you're doing this out just out of, not even your mind's out of the secondary. But it's the creating the habit. And I love your, so Jim is a podcast,

the quick brain podcast, which is actually the number one coaching podcast. Number one training podcast. Training podcast, which I love because it's so my, it's like bite sized, it's like 10 minutes. Yeah, every episode is so. But I learned so much on it. I'm like, I can memorize names out,

but I, how you use your like, pneumonics to, yeah, so we could talk about... But we knew like that, but yes, we will talk about these tips, but I was just mentioning that because I, whatever you just said before that, that I forgot, reminded of your podcast. So, what we're just saying, I don't want to get your tip. No, where we're talking about its distraction. See? Here's the thing, when you pick up... I'm doing it in real time now, just so you can help me. We are going to tackle this. So, anybody right now is struggling with, if you're listening to us right now,

and you're struggling with forgetfulness, or you're struggling with focus, that's what we should get into. We are gonna get into it, but you were saying your habits shaped your life once you get your habits down. And so I have a lot of habits that I want to develop and then I've tried to take 21 days or 30 days.

So not touching your phone first thing in the morning because you're training, you're rewiring your brain to be distracted. And so that's literally why people can't focus in your relationship and your partner wants your attention. That's really what they want, right? They don't necessarily want gifts. They want the gift of your presence, right?

They want you to be there. And so we can talk about how to be more present. But the main idea here is if you don't touch your phone, you're not, that way you want to be rewiring your brain to be distracted. Because the second thing that you're rewiring your brain for in the morning, if you're touching your phone, is not only training your brain to be distracted, but you're training your brain to be reactive.

And this is huge, because as you're listening to this, you want to create the best quality of life for yourself and for the people that you care about. You want to be the best version of yourself. But if you're just replying and responding to everything in the world. So for example, like if you're checking your messages, your voice messages, text messages, your emails, basically you're finding fires, you're looking at everybody else's needs for you and when do you get to your needs. And you don't want to start your day.

My friend Brendan has this saying, the saying that your inbox is nothing but a convenient organizational system for other people's agenda for your life. Okay, guys, we're gonna take a quick break, give a shout to our sponsors, cause we love them and we'll be right back. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪

Why are people doing that first thing in the morning, you know, getting out of their zone when they should be just focusing on what their vision is for their day, for their vision for their family, for their loved ones, because it doesn't happen by accident, right? So what do you do in the morning? So what I do, so one of the most popular episodes for me was the my morning routine. There are 12 things I do every single morning to be able to jumpstart my brain. And so the things I don't do is I don't touch my phone for a sing in the morning, right? So because it drives you to distraction,

it drives you to be reactive. And you don't want to do something. Even outside the bedroom I always say. Yeah, at the very least your phone is on airplane mode. But I'll tell you exactly what I do. First thing in the morning, I wake up and I go through a six-step process for remembering my dreams. And now you're like, Jim, why do I want to remember my dreams?

Why is that important? People don't realize the human brain, you're learning all through the day. You're solving problems as an entrepreneur all day. But when you go to sleep, your brain doesn't shut off. If anything, your brain is more active when you're sleeping. And here's what it's working on. It's working on integrating information. It's taking short-term to long-term memory.

It's solving problems for you. But when you wake up, what happens with your dreams? Most people forget their dreams because they don't have a process for doing so. But the reason why you want to remember your dreams, so for example, in culture, a lot of literature and film and movies and art, it actually was created in dream states. So for example, Mary Shelley came up with Frankenstein in her dream. Right? Paul McCartney came up with a song yesterday in his dream. The sewing machine was created in Elias's house Dream. So when Venshins, you know, the Period Table was created in that framework was created in

a chemist dream. So what are we dreaming about late at night that we're forgetting about? Right? So the first thing I do is I remember my dreams and I did a whole podcast episode on that. But how do you remember them? I took a class in college about how to remember your dreams so we had to analyze it, like using like a young eat, whatever one means in your dream, like the young eat and character, you're the animus and that.

Yeah, this is not interpreting dreams, but actually it's about remembering them. I'm remembering them. The second thing I do, which everyone I suggest, you know, give it a try, most people probably are doing this already is I make my bed. And you're like, why is making your bed so important to your brain? Well, first of all, your brain likes and thrives in a clean environment. But the reason why I do it is because how you do anything is how you do everything.

Right, you're constantly training your brain and creating habits. How you do anything is how you do everything. So you want to start your day with excellence, right? You take one or two minutes, make your bed perfectly, like they do in the military, right? Because they wanna train excellence and packability. Because how you do it is how you're gonna do other things. You know, I work in your relationship and so on. But you get to start with success.

And the other reason why you wanna make your bed is because when you come back at the end of the night, you come back to success where you go full circle. Third thing I do is I have a tall glass of water, so that's kind of obvious. And I have some probiotics because your second brain, your gut is very important. But the reason why water is, you can lose up to a quart

of water a night, just through perspiration, respiration, and your brain is 70% your brain and body are 70% water, and most people dehydrate. So, when people are suffering from mental fatigue or mental fog, the brain fog, the two things people should do before food is breathing and hydrating. So, I have my water. The next thing I do is I brush my teeth, and I brush my teeth, actually, you're like, Jim, yeah, obviously everybody brushes their teeth, but I actually have a switch on,

and I actually brush my teeth with the opposite hand. And this is really interesting research because I was reading a study at Oxford University and they said that jugulars actually have bigger brains. That learning how to juggle actually creates more white matter, and which is important because as your body moves your brain grooves. Like we know that science that your brain controls your body, right? That got forbid you know somebody who has head trauma or a stroke on the left side of their brain. If there's paralysis, it'll show up on the opposite side because there's a brain body connection.

What science is finding out now is not just a brain body connection, but a body brain connection. That using your body in certain ways actually stimulates different parts of your brain. So using your opposite hand actually stimulates the right side of your brain because it's cross-lateral. Anything below the next on the opposite side. And so why do you want to stimulate the right side of your brain is because we live right now in today's economy. There are three forces that weren't there before, that what's going on with jobs and careers.

So for you, for your significant other, there's three A's. There's AI, there's automation, and there's Asia, meaning that the jobs right now are either AI, computers, intelligence, or automation. A lot of jobs are being put into software. If you're doing your taxes, you have software that can do that now, it's all automated, or things are being outsourced to other countries.

And so the superpowers that I think are going to be very important in this age that we're in right now are the powers of the mind. Because if knowledge is power, learning is your superpower. And superpowers of creativity, the superpowers of imagination, the superpowers of strategy. And those are right brain processes. So wait, to ask you about the tooth brushing thing, if you're right handed, you should brush with your left hand, or you switch it up every day. Human beings like routines, right? But it's nice to be able to switch it up because the reason why I'm so excited about the

brain is because we've discovered more about the human brain, more in the past 20 years than the previous 2000 years combined. And when you think about the research being done on neurogenesis and neuroplasticity, it's basically saying, you can grow older, but you can grow better. So neurogenesis means neurons like the brain, genesis meaning birth. It creates new brain cells to the day you die, which is really exciting. Neuroplasticity is saying your brain is plastic. It's not plastic, but it's malleable.

Right. And you can make new connections. So Einstein's brain wasn't any larger than anybody else's brain. It was actually smaller, but there were parts of his brain. There were very dense because he'd with these thought experiments where he put himself in the data state we talked about. And he would imagine himself riding a beam of light and

looking at what the environment looks like to him when he's going at light speed and so on. And he had that, that was very right brain, but he was able to have left brain, you know, science and math and formulas to be able to, you know, what he's known for. But those thought experiments are really important because of those creativity experiments

because those are all going on in the right brain. Dr. Lawrence Katz did research with seniors, wanted to find out how to keep seniors' brains alive and agile and focus and their memory strong. Came up with these very simple exercises that not only seniors, but everybody should do. For example, brushing your teeth with the opposite hand, for example, eating with the opposite hand.

When it comes back to neuroplasticity, the key to neurogenesis and neuroplasticity creating new brain cells and new connections, two things. Novelty and nutrition. Novelty and nutrition is just like the human body. If I want to build a muscle, I need to stimulate it and work it out, right? That's novelty, but then I have to feed that muscle with nutrition and same thing with our brain power also as well.

It's nice to be able to seek out new challenges, new things because as your body moves, your brain grooves, as your body moves, your brain grooves. So moving to, also like a lot of times when I'm like learning or listening or listening to books or podcasts I'm running, I'm moving and that's why. Like that's how you, or even walk around the office talking brain-stermings when you're moving,

that's how you, when you move, you create these brain-derived, neutropic factors that actually help in aid actually in the process of learning. So if you're doing something rhythmic, especially if you're on the treadmill or the elliptical and you're listening to a podcast, that will actually help you to retain it better also as well.

But the goal is novelty. And so changing your routine a little bit, even using the opposite hand gets you present in the moment because a lot of people are so distracted. They're always in the future, they're in the past, or they're mind is somewhere else. But doing something novel in the present gets you right there.

Exactly. And when they talk about the... Yeah, that's... When for couples too, I'm always like, the reason why things have gotten a little stale or boring is because you guys, it's not new to you anymore. So, the more couples can try new things together, play together, stay together. And those are human needs. When we're talking about love, is that certainty and that trust, that something is there and it's dependable.

But on the other side of love, you have a passion, which is like something that's more unpredictable, more spontaneous, because the brain loves novelty, because every single time you have that novelty, you have dopamine, right? And you know, with sex also, it's the same thing, right? Your brain is completely alive. They did study with mice, and they had a mice that had a one-night stand, if you will,

and in terms of memory, it didn't make a difference, but those that had chronic sex, literally sex every single day for 14 days, they had a larger hippocampus, which is the storehouse for memory. Right. So we had a date and we need to have more sex. So that's the opening.

But they had to change it up after 14 days, because then they got bored and it shrunk. I've seen their brain, they're having a kind of shrunk. No, right. I get what you're saying though. So novelty is important. So the next thing I do is I just brush my teeth and be upset again. What I do after that, though, is I am in my morning routine is I take a cold shower and people thought I know you fully cold or warm and then cold at the end. You could go cold and then hot. How long do I have to be cold for? So the reason why you take a cold shower

is that it resets your nervous system and it lowers inflammation. So inflammation, they say some of the research suggests that inflammation leads to a lot of diseases and challenges. And so it lowers inflammation. Just like if you bang your knee on the coffee table, you put ice on it to reduce the swelling and the inflammation,

same thing with cold therapy. And so cold shower, like, like, cryotherapy. Similar to that. On that. Right. I can do that. I can't do the shower thing.

I can try, like, for like 30 seconds. Right. And so you could circulate between cold hot, cold hot. And it's not like taking a nice bath or something, but it's good. Even ice baths, you know, when they do studies with that and testosterone, and it's really fascinating. So from there, I go and actually make a brain tea and I do some journaling for a second morning. A brain tea, you know, simple. I put go to Coca Cola,

Ginkgo, Lion's Main, I put some honey, but it really just helps me to focus and I just journal. And that's where I write down. Notice I haven't even touched my phone yet, but I write down the three things I want to which accomplish that day professionally and personally. And I do not tackle, like I don't even open my email, inbox until I get at least one thing done. And so that's okay. I'm not list, okay.

Is it three total or three personal, three personal? Yeah, three things professionally and three things personally and that's my thing. Because most people have an inbox, most people, most people have a to-do list of hundreds of things. I'm looking for, you're familiar with the Pareto's Principle, right, the 80-20 rule, that 20% of your efforts give you 80% of the rewards and the return. I really look at the first domino, meaning that there's certain things on your to-do list that really could get rid of all the other things if you could able to do it.

The challenge, though, is a lot of people avoid those big things. I have a general belief that if you just procrastinate and put things off and you do the easy thing then life is hard. We always do the easy things all the time and just sabotage and everything, just put things, difficult things off. Life gets difficult. But if we do the difficult things in life, then life gets easy.

You know, the difficult conversation that you're supposed to have at work or with your partner. Yeah, you gotta just, it's so true. Like they always say, yeah, do the hardest thing for. And the most successful people I know over the years, probably over the last 15 years of, I've got a lot of advice,

but it's always like, do the hardest thing first, which I've not yet adopted. There's a science behind it also, because there's study done in decision-making and decision fatigue. What it concludes is this, as we can only make a certain amount of good decisions a day. All of us were limited.

And once we've made all those decisions, we're done. Like, we could be at a restaurant, looking at a menu, and we really, we can't even decide what we want for dinner, because we've spent all of it. And that's why, you know, I was like a viral video of me talking about this, but I was talking about the reason why Mark Zuckerberg wears the same sweatshirt almost every day,

or Tony Shae wears the same sappos t-shirt, and you ask them is because they don't want to waste one of their decisions on, what am I gonna wear that day? Exactly. They wanna think about other things, and they've done this research with surgeons specifically because that's what happens is after they're making,

you know, they make all their good decisions, just like any human beings, they start making more errors. And you know where a lot of errors actually come from going back to distraction is multitasking. Multitasking is, I've heard so many different things. Most say here that it's bad for us, that you should multitask to just focus. And then you hear other people,

and it's probably the multitaskers who are building these studies saying, like, no, no, no, you can actually get a lot more done if your brain needs to be wired and all these are stimulated. So what's the deal? So I would side on this for those of you people listening. You feel like you're,

some people who are listening to this right now can identify, like, oh, yeah, I multitask all the time. And these are the same people that always brag about how busy they are with everything. And first of all, these are two different things. So I would say, first of all, stop bragging about how busy you are. Most times you ask somebody out of habit, we say, oh, we're so busy. And the reason why we say that is because, oh, if we're so busy and then you must be important, right?

You must be very, you know, there's very special. And the problem with doing so by getting, I think people start wearing it like a badge of honor. It's just like, you start doing it, you start training yourself to be busy, and you start building your life around that. Yeah, I've stopped saying that. You're like, oh, I'm so busy, I'm so busy,

I'm so busy, I'm so busy, because I have, I'm working on time management and all that, but it makes people feel less actually. It doesn't make me feel important. And other people are like, oh, you're so busy all the time. It's just, we all have the same amount of time in a day. We do. And that's the one concept that we all have.

Everybody here, everyone makes different amounts of money. We have different connections. We have different levels of education. But we all have the same amount of time. We all have the same 86,000, whatever. Exactly. 400 seconds in a day. There are so many ways that we could work together right now. If you were going to do we talked about this you're like a live

coach you. Yeah we'll just jump into it. Well let's close off this. Oh and then there was a third thing that you need to go back to. Yeah very that was. You need to even write that down that's good. Okay so here here we go. So okay third thing that you, the digital, so if you have digital overload, digital distraction and you have digital dementia, which we talked about, that's outsourcing our brains. You mentioned GPS that basically is saying that if we rely on a piece of technology to tell us when and where to turn, we're not realizing when we're having memory lapses. So maybe we're not going to the doctors, get checked out and all that stuff. But going back to distraction and multitasking, where I sighed is that multitasking, there's

no such things multitasking. So if you're listening to this right now, you feel like- Multitasking failing. Right, really. Because if you feel like you're doing two things at once, you're actually- you're not able to do two cognitive activities at once. So yes, you could ride a bicycle and listen to a podcast, but you can't do two different kinds of thinking.

And what you're really doing, instead of multitasking, is you're doing task switching, task switching. You're actually going from one task to another. But here's the problem in the drawback. Is every single time you go from one task to another, you lose time. It takes anywhere from five minutes to 20 minutes just to get your focus and your flow back.

Five minutes to 20 minutes. You're losing all that time. But the second thing is you're making more errors. You're making more mistakes. People who multitask have been shown to make more mistakes. And so that's why when it comes to focus, just focus on one thing until it's done. And I recommend people actually do things in about 25, 30 minute increments. And the reason why... That's right, that's right. Yeah, because the studies are saying that in terms of our focus that after about

25 30 minutes it starts to dip and And they call this the pommadaro technique pommadaro. It's where you set your phone alarm to go off every 25 30 minutes Because that's when you're gonna start losing productivity and then what I recommend people do is do a you know a quick five-minute brain break and do three things. You do three things during the brain break. You do number one, you move, because as your body moves your brain grooves. So when you take a break from work

or from anything else, you move your body first. The second thing you do is you hydrate, because your brain is mostly water and so you need to be able to hydrate. And the third thing that you do is deep, diaphragmic breathing, and that's important. Most people, the reason why they have brain fog or they have mental fatigue,

which people talk about all the time. They're fatigued, they're frustrated. Everyone's tired, anxious. Right, even when they're reading, right? They're reading and they get, have you ever done this? Have you ever read a page in a book, got to the end and just forgot what you just read? Yes, absolutely.

And you go back and you reread it and you still don't know what you just read. Because there's anxiety, like I can't believe I didn't read it, I can't believe I read it. I can't remember right and there's so much stress and there's fatigue there also because most people are reading Improperly so it takes so much effort and that's whether eyes get tired right you know a lot of people use reading as a Sedative right there's this token book by their bed that they've been reading for an embarrassingly long period of time And the reason why it's a challenge is remember going back back to long-term memory, information combined with emotion is long-term memory, but if you're using reading to bore you to falling asleep, that means that's not a good association to have.

Because here's really the key, all learning is state dependent. All learning is state dependent. So in order to be able to learn something new, you want to get yourself in that mood or that feeling, that emotion, that higher than a zero, because- That's different for everyone, right?

Or is it not? Do you teach the best way for people to actually learn and read? Yeah, so what I ask people to do right now, even right now, on a scale of zero to ten. Like, you know, no, no, everybody who's listening to this right now, zero to ten, how do you feel? Like on a scale of zero to ten. But here's the thing, a lot of people come up in the number, whatever, maybe it's a five or it's a six. What I would suggest people to do is like,

what does it take to become a seven or an eight? Because if you can't manage something unless you can measure it, right? And that's the thing. The problem is when it comes to our feelings, like recently I got to introduce to super heroes metaphorically together. They wanted to meet each other. so we all went to dinner.

It was Richard Branson and Stan Lee. Like Stan Lee, the co-creator of X-Men, fantastic four, the Avengers, all my heroes, Ray Spider-Man, and we're in the backseat, and I asked Stan, I was like, Stan, you're like what, 90s something, you know, what, who is your favorite superhero and that you created?

He's like Iron Man, and he said know, what who is your favorite superhero? And that you created, he's like Iron Man. And he said, Jim, who's your favorite superhero? And Stan was wearing this Spider-Man tie, I posted on Instagram and I was just like Spider-Man. And he said, Jim, with great power comes great responsibility, right? And everyone knows that. And I grew up with these learning difficulties.

I had dyslexia and all these challenges. And so I reverse everything in my mind. I was like, Stan, you're right, with great power comes great responsibility. And the opposite is also true. With great responsibility comes great power. With great responsibility comes great power. When we take responsibility for something in our life,

we have great power to make things better. Especially entrepreneurs, right? Because we value our freedom so much and we want to be able to do what we want when we want, for as long as we want, with whoever we want, you know, all that. But we look at something like discipline or there's something like a prison,

something we have to do. And really, if you can't get yourself to do what you need to do, then you're in prison. So in actuality, discipline, you know, really is freedom. Right. So discipline is freedom because if you can't get yourself to do the things you need to do,

to make it like better. I think we all want to do all of these things. Like, I want to be disciplined, I want to, and I'm making myself sound. I obviously get a lot done, but I'm saying, I'm also, I really want to be the best version of myself, and I think everybody does,

and I think we all have paid for the gym membership and not shut up, or committed to quitting something on the first of the year. I'm going to call my mom every Sunday. I'm going to do all these things. It's a much bigger question, but I think everyone's going, yeah, yeah, yeah, like I'm sitting there going, yeah, yeah, how? What? Like where do you start? The morning routine, which I think is important. Well, I think the first morning of the day, again, you want to win that stuff, you have positive momentum, but when it comes to doing the things

that you need to do, there's reason why you put things off. So I would say if everyone here has something that they're procrastinating on, I think we all do, right, because we're human beings, things that we put off, why do we do that? So I would say there's a success formula, and I call it H cubed. It goes from your head to your heart to your hands. And so you could keep things in your head all day. Your goals, your vision, your goal, your outcomes for your work

and you set all these different objectives for your relationship or whatever it is, vision boards or everything. But if it stays in your head and doesn't, you don't act on it with your hands, nothing happens, right? Because it's not the law of attraction. It could be the law of attraction

but it's also the law of action. You gotta do something about it, right? Because the formulas B do have share, right could be the law of attraction, but it's also the law of action. You have to do something about it. Right. Because the formulas B do have share, right? You have to B something, so you can do something that allows you to have something and then share it with other people. But if you're not able to use your hands, usually what's missing is a second H, which is your heart.

And the heart is what? It's emotion, right? And so you can't steer a parked car, right? You need fuel, you need energy. And so where's that emotion going back to state? Because all learning is state dependent. Because we're not logical. Like there's this phrase in business and when it comes to sales that people are not

logically, they buy emotion. Emotions, right? People make decisions based on emotions, right? Because that's the heart. Because we're not logical, we're biological. Right. So how do you learn with emotion? So how am I reading with emotion?

Or how am I reading in that state? Like, for example, if I want to read more, what you're saying is bring the emotion, people are like, I feel things, but I feel we also show how much fun. So going back to responsibility, when we take responsibility or something, we have great power to make things better.

And really what people want to identify with, we learn through, human beings learn through metaphors all the time, right? We compare things to things that we already understand. So the metaphor I would offer everybody here is to be a thermostat, not a thermometer. You want to be a thermostat, you don't want to be a thermometer. So like we were just talking about temperature in the room,

right? And if you look at the thermometer on the wall, what's its job? Like a thermometer just reacts to the environment. It just responds to the environment. That's all it does. But a thermostat is something different. A thermostat sets a temperature.

It sets a goal. It sets a vision. And what happens to the environment? The environment changes. And so I would say to the degree that we are happy with our lives, the degree we have, feel like we have control. We're all a thermometer. Sometimes we react to the weather,

we react to what's going on in a relationship, we react to the government, but to the degree, we could have autonomy and that sovereignty, meaning like we have that power inside of us, if you will, and we could be a thermostat, not be as affected, but you really want to be responsible for how you feel. Like, so for example, like, sit right now,

the way you be sitting, if you're really interested in what I was I am I actually literally guys my staff good to I'm so I'm looking my laptop I've never been so far have you ever know I'm not you're you're very so like in here But when literally this is it and so everybody everybody Everybody this is my focus This is and that's the thing because you know I've been looking my phone about text coming in Jim I'm not looking because you know you're busy. You know your physiology. Yeah affects your psychology But I was more you know even people who are listening to us right now like if you were to sit or stand the way

Be if you're interested you know you could change your mood or your state based on just moving your body because as your body moves Your brain grooves and all those different ways. So if I was a magic genie right now And I can snap my fingers and fix anything and make anything better, what would you, what would you wish for? In the world or in my life, for me. Okay, so I don't want to sound, okay, grab a cookie self-as-right now for a brain.

No, for your brain, for your brain. What would, what would, what would, what would, what would, what would, what would, what would like make your life easier, what would make your life better? My three biggest challenges are focus, prioritizing and I've been doing speeches lately and I try to memorize and I don't do that I mean, but I practice it enough. I'm really good

But sometimes when I'm going in and all the cue cart nothing it doesn't work But I feel like because I didn't practice it enough So I have challenges with all these things. Jim, you can just pick one. It's a popery, really, of challenges. I would take help in any of those areas and I believe that they would change my life. OK, let's do this. Let's talk about, let's talk about forgetfulness and focus.

OK. So there are three keys to having a better memory. Let's start there, because there is no learning without memory. Like, you could learn all the things that you want, but everyone knows there's a learning curve, but what a lot of people don't know is there is a forgetting curve, right?

And you know this because none of us studied back in school, what do we do the night before? Nothing, like a crammed ride. Yeah, it's like we don't study for, right? We don't study for weeks, and then the night before we call on nighters, and then the next morning, nobody could talk to you at breakfast because you don't want anything to spill out of your mind and you can't wait to take the test.

And after you take the test, what happens that information? It's gone. I'm so glad it's over with. And I still do, I still sadly are challenging. I still go through still to have things that like that happen. Right, so that's the forgetting curve. They say that within 48 hours of learning something, 80% of it is gone. So you could read a book, you could go to conference,

you could listen to a podcast within two days, 80% of it disappears. And so that's not a really good return on your time and your money. So what I would say is there's three keys I keep you from doing this. So there's three keys, M-O-M. I want you to remember mom.

So we'll make this really easily memorable. People come to me all the time-O-M, I want you to remember mom. So we'll make this really easily memorable. People come to me all the time saying, like, Jim, you know, I want a better memory, but that's the equivalent of going to a personal trainer saying, I like me. I want a better body, right? Yeah, I want to be better at sports. Like, what sports specifically do you want to get better at? So let's apply that towards names. You mentioned names and faces, right? You meet so many people. Yeah, I always thought that in college, which is one of my challenges, I'm like, I don't remember names. Oh, and by the way, I don't remember faces.

Right. Which is terrible. People feel disrespected. They feel, you know, and guys, I have to tell you guys names like, Matt, Bob, Jim, Joe, John, they're all one civil, and it's syllable, like in college, I was like, I don't know,

it's just his name's probably John. Right, and you forget somebody's name, and you come up with, like, whoa, how do you, you know, you come up with little techniques, like, oh, how do you, you know, you come up with little techniques, like, oh, how do you spell your name again? Yeah. And they go, be oh be.

Oh yeah, that was the worst. Right. Yeah, I'll be like, no, I mean your last name. Right, right, right. Exactly. So we call them of these kind of tricks, but the main idea, so let's apply this towards memory names. Okay.

So everybody could be, but I think everyone struggles with remembering names. So remember, M-O-M. So let's say you have trouble remembering names, but there is a suitcase here of a million dollars cash for you, tax free, for you, your favorite charity. If you just remember the name of the next stranger you meet, are you gonna remember that person's name?

Hell yes. Yes, now notice they just have anything to do with your capabilities. No. No, it had everything to do with your motivation. So M, the first M in mom stands for motivation. And this is so important because again, as a coach, I'm not necessarily telling you something that you don't know, but I'm telling you what you know when you're doing things right.

And so motivation is key to learning anything. Like perfect example. You don't remember all names, but I guarantee you, you don't forget all names either. Sure. There's some names of people that you, we all remember. We remember somebody that could be good for our business or our work. We remember people that were attracted to. Right.

Much more than, you know, so. Well, we're attracted to them. Exactly. And so motivation is key. So intent matters. So what I would say is ask yourself, the simple question, why do I want to remember this person's name? Just ask yourself in your mind, when you're meeting someone brand new, ask yourself the simple question, why do I want to remember this person's name? Just ask yourself in your mind

when you're meeting someone brand new, ask yourself why do I want to remember this person's name? But what if I don't? What if I'm like a lever-saving man? So he's thinking, so here's that that's a perfect example. Maybe it's to show the person respect, maybe it's to make a new friend, maybe it's to do some business,

maybe to practice these things. You learn from Jim, right? I want you to practice. I want to remember everything. Because if you can't come I want you to practice. I'm going to want to remember everything. Because if you can't come up with one reason, you're not going to remember. Because this is what you want to remember. Reasons, reap results.

Reasons, reap results. And so if you can't come up with the reason, you won't get the results. So come up with something. Even it's to practice. Because what you practice in private, you're rewarded for in public. What you practice in private, you're rewarded for in public. What you practice in private, you're rewarded for in public.

Recently, I was on set. I saw a couple of other actors. First thing I thought was masturbation. I'm sorry, but is that really true? But that helps publicly, right? That depends what you're into. For example, I helped a lot of actors speed read scripts or remember their lines faster and I was on set With Will Smith recently and he was filming at nighttime and I was asking him this question

I was like, you know, how do you you just hurry up and wait? You're just waiting three o'clock in the morning four o'clock in the morning just to be you know go and I'm like How do you how do you just how do you get ready? You know and he looked at me is like Jim, you know, I don't have to get ready. I stay ready. And I was like, wow, because this is what I'm saying is when you're listening to this, I want you to start identifying more with being a memory expert because you don't forget everything.

You remember a lot of things. Only, you know, handful of things we forget all the time. But he just stays ready because what he practiced, he's rewarded for, you know, what he practiced for private, he's rewarded for in public, but same with us. And the thing is, is like, I believe, I have this core belief that the life we live are the lessons we teach, the life we live are the lessons we teach for everyone. Like, you know, as a

boss or as a parent, people don't do what you say, they do what you do. And the reason why is because in your nervous system, that part of the brain, you have these things called marinarons. And marinarons, literally, are your imitation like nerve cells. And that's what empathy, or part of empathy comes from. You watch, you're watching a movie and you could feel what the characters are going through because you're going through it also. And that's why children learn so quickly because they're so tuned into that also as well. But my main reason why I'm bringing this up is because the preparation and the motivation. So ask yourself, how does he stay ready?

What does that mean he stays ready? Is that what you're talking about motivation? Like he's always motivated, the first M. No, when he's so, no, he's prepared. So that's the thing, just like with you, when we before, when we even got, and we started recording, we had this whole like talking about

like how do you prepare for interviews and conversations, how do you prepare before you go on stage. And especially even, so when it comes to names, so the bad news is it takes effort, the good news, it doesn't take as much as you think. Right, I believe that. So, you know, because practice, you know, practice what, practice makes.

Perfect. Progress. Progress. Perfect. Nothing nothing's perfect. Right, exactly. Or perfect practice. It's to their practice does make progress. And I've tried Nothing nothing's perfect. Right, exactly. Or perfect practice. It's to their practice as make progress.

And I've tried with names. I'll be like, oh, nice to meet you, Jane. And then I had Jane. So I've done that because they say repetition, but that doesn't help me either. OK, so start with motivation. So first, really, let's end up. Now, here's the thing.

The reason why you want to remember people's names is because people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. So how are you going to show somebody you're in a care for their future, their health, you know, there anything, you know, anything that you have to offer them if you don't care enough just to remember your name, right, their name. Jam, that's really great. So the name is a sweetest sound to persons ears. When we're talking about emotions, think

about the first word that you learned how to write. You know, it's probably your name. And think about the emotions, the reinforcement you're given, you know, when you were able to do that, right? So tap into the motivation, head, heart, hands. Always tap into the emotion part. The O in mom. So everyone in the room do this.

Just shake out, shake out, shake out, right? Just one hand, just one hand, right? You're right hand like this. Make a fist. Put it to your chin. Now come on, where's your chin? Oh, he did his side of his head. No, no, no, come on. And I put it to your chin.

So I put it to your cheek and I said chin, but everybody puts it there, cheek. You see, the O in mom stands for observation. Observation, and here's the thing. A lot of people, when they forget names, they blame their retention. It's not your retention It's your attention the art of memory is the art of attention and so observation is key a lot of people They're not forgetting the name. They're just not hearing the name to begin with it's fair, right?

Like think about how many names we remember you have this super computer brain It's the most advanced technology device and all the universe You know, but you so you can remember one or two words, but it's just we're not paying attention Super computer brains, the most advanced technology device and all the universe. But you still remember one or two words, but it's just we're not paying attention. So here's an example. I'm gonna drop another name. And I'm doing this, it's not the drop to be a name dropper.

I'm doing this because when you see these people on the news or in public or whatever, it will remind you of the lesson, right? So recently I went to a fundraiser, it was 2000 people. And I go to my sign table, and I sit down on the first one there, and then, force Whitaker sits right next to me, and then Richard Branson sits next to him,

and then Ashton Kutcher and Ashton's twin brother, which I didn't know he had a twin brother, and then 20 minutes into dinner, President Bill Clinton sits right next to me, and I'm like, you wouldn't believe, like you could literally look at this photo on Instagram. But it's like, it's like who Photoshopped that asian dude in that photo, right?

And so I go there and I'm like, and I met him once before briefly, but he remembered my name. Yeah, how many people has he met, right? But he remembered my name and he remembered our last conversation. Now the reason I bring this up is everybody knows, regardless of your political ideology, everyone can accept that he has great charisma, great connector, great communicator. He's got

an incredible memory. And I remember asking him, you know, you know, a memory guy, like, how do you do it? What trick you're using? He's like, Jim, you know, as when I was a kid, my grandfather would get all the kids around in Arkansas in the living room and would tell stories. But something different at the end though, he would actually quiz each of us separately to see if we're really paying attention and all this, right? And I noticed when he's talking to me, I felt uneasy because he was just like there with me.

You know what I mean? So present that you're like that. So. Yeah, there's no room to look away but down. And we don't do that. He's got that power that you're like, oh my God, I met him at no boost. And that's the thing. Like, he's not looking.

The Hillary was there. She was like totally repeating. So many people, you know, but that's not what we do, though. Usually we're doing the opposite. When we're meeting people for the first time, we're looking over their shoulder and we're seeing who else is in the room. Or if we're not distracting ourselves outside,

we're distracting ourselves inside. It's like we're talking to ourselves. Yeah, could you be going, oh my God, it's Bill Clinton. I can't wait Bill Clinton. Exactly. What is he saying? And I do that during the show. I do that everywhere. The inter-offing.

How do you say present? And that's the perfect word for it. So I believe that that president Clinton's incredible memory and his powerful presence with people comes from being powerfully present with people. And we could all do that. And that comes from observation. Because that's really what people want, right?

They don't want your gifts. They want the gift of your presence, right? Which is another word for gift. And so I feel like that if we could just, and just notice, I'm talking about motivation and observation. I'm talking about just being a better human being, right? Just caring, being caring enough to want to remember, motivated to remember someone's name and just being present with somebody and observant so that way we don't forget the

person's name. So I would say that his incredible memory and his powerful presence comes from being powerfully present. We could all do that because we could just listen. And that's all people want to do, right? Like, and you know this from the work that you do, you know, our significant other, they want to, they don't want to be invisible, right? They want to be seen and they want to be heard. And how better to be able to show people that than us being there with them. And so what I would say is the art of memory is the art of caring about somebody and being present with them, and the memory of memory. But the last letter M stands for the mechanics. And this is not the person that fixes your car, but these are the tools and techniques, the strategies on how to remember someone's name, how to give a speech without notes, how to learn a foreign language, how to read three times faster.

Yes, yes, yes. So let's jump into the mechanics. Hope you guys have been enjoying this interview with Jim Quick. We will be releasing part two tomorrow. You guys can find sex with Emily now everywhere. Did you know that iTunes, Google Play, SoundCloud, Spotify, and now IHR radio, which is so fun. So thanks so much for listening. It was a good for you.

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