Sex With Emily - Sex And Emily Pt. 2

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

Today, I continue my candid convo with my friend Falguni, answering all your hottest and most personal sex questions. From my experiences in threesomes to my favorite positions, no question goes unanswered. If you’ve ever wondered what the mile high club is like or how to tell your partner they could step up their sex game, tune in. Trust me, this is an episode you won’t wanna miss.   In this episode you’ll learn:  Why penetration alone might not always give you an orgasm    How to take control of your orgasm  Why communication is the most important part of your threesome Show Notes: SHOP WITH EMILY! (free shipping on orders over $99) The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure LELO DOT Travel (Use code SEXWITHEMILY for 25% off) Want more? Sex With Emily: Home Let’s get social: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | TikTok  Let’s text: Sign Up Here Want me to slide into your inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. See the full show notes at sexwithemily.com.

It was okay that I didn't always orgasm during penetration, but I had to figure out, and I did figure out with my hands and with toys to figure out what felt good. I was about 25, but it was a process. I want people to know it's not like you just one day figure it out. That's how I do it, and it's always like that from ever on. It's different, different positions, different times of day, different times of month. There's just always a lot to figure out, but I would say I started taking seriously when I was 25 and then really much more in my 30s.

That was like my full-time job. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. So today's episode is part two of Sex and Emily. This week I spent the episode answering all the questions you submitted about my sex life, my sexual history, and I answered them. From my threesome experiences to the question, have I joined the My Ohio Club, the age I took control of my orgasm, some more about my favorite positions, and just stuff I really hadn't thought about or shared in a long time. So have a listen and let me know, is this kind of episode something you want more of? Because

you know if it helps you it helps me. And also I want to thank everyone who came out to my live shows in San Diego and Phoenix the last few weeks. It was a dream to do these shows at comedy clubs, meet you all in person, and really do a live show that was equal parts sex education, answering your questions, and many many laughs. So if you want me to speak in your area or you want to attend the next one, you can email me feedback at sexwithemily.com or just be sure to join our mailing list and you will know everything and people do love our emails. Please rate and review Sex with Emily wherever you listen to the show. It really helps us get the show out to more people and it just takes two seconds. You

can do it right now. My new articles, six embarrassing sex questions you're afraid to ask, but you did anyway, and how to hand play like a pro are available at sexwithemily.com. All right everyone, enjoy this episode. Okay, real talk. We all have embarrassing moments in the bedroom. You know, like gas, bloating, indigestion, and more. And I hear from so many of you with stomach issues, and it's keeping you from the pleasure you so rightly deserve. Well, I got some great news. While studies show that gut issues directly impact our arousal, erections, and overall

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JustThriveHealth.com and enter promo code SEX WITH EMILY at checkout to save 20% off on a 90-day bottle of Just Thrive probiotic. So take charge of your gut health, take charge of your sex life, and live your healthiest life yet with Just Thrive. Okay, you asked for it so my team made sure I delivered. Here is part two of Sex and Emily where I get asked all the tough and often really fun questions. My dear friend, Falguni Adams,

executive producer at Vice TV, shares all of your questions with me and I share all. And don't forget to listen to part one of this episode where I get more into my sexual experiences through the decades and also share my best tips I learned along the way. You can find Sex and Emily part one linked in the show notes and wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Okay, ready for some listener questions? Yes. What's your favorite position to cuddle in? Little spoon, again. You like being a little spoon? I love it, I like it. Are you ever a big spoon? Sometimes, yeah, I like being a big spoon too.

I do. It's not my favorite, but I like it. It's actually fun every once in a while, I'd being in a big spoon too. I do. It's not my favorite, but I like it. It's actually fun every once in a while, I'd be like, oh. Yeah. Yeah. I like the audible. Have you ever had a threesome, pros and cons?

Yes, I have had a threesome. I think pros with threesomes are, you had a threesome, check, check it off the list. For me, my best threesomes were when I was not committed to somebody. I was dating somebody, maybe they were dating somebody else, And so we all got together and there wasn't a lot of like emotion, heightened emotions around it. And also I think the best is when it's more spontaneous, like you weren't planning it for weeks and should we have a threesome,

it just sort of happened. Not in the moment, meaning like we planned it like a week or so he's like, Oh, would you want to meet this girl I'm dating? And it was a casual, easy experience that was really, really nice. Did you need to be like drunk or? No. That's what I hear a lot of people. That's the best thing. I mean, some people are drunk and high.

And, but then I think, you know, we have to remember this when we use alcohol and drugs to numb ourselves during sex, it's because a lot of times we are so afraid, a lot of people, I can't have sex unless I drink. And it's because we use alcohol early on to help get over our worries. And it does help lower your inhibitions. So you can be present and show up sexually, but then after a while it just numbs you and you can't feel things. And so, no, I mean, maybe a drink or maybe a little something, but it's moderation for sure. This isn't a listener question, but on the tails of that question about a threesome, you know, I've had people ask me like, you know, am I a lesbian now that I liked a threesome

with another woman? Right. I don't think that the people you have sex with or what you do necessarily have to define or have had or who you're talking to, you don't have to label yourself. I've been with women. If you want to call me a lesbian, I don't, I guess I don't get hung up on it. I'm like at that moment, the energy of this person and what felt right in the moment felt really good.

And it was, you know, exciting and pleasurable and consensual and so, but I guess it's, again, it's about finding the right person. Like if I, and who knows? Like maybe I would be with women again and that, you know, that could happen. I could dabble. I think the cons can be if you have a hard time

trusting your partner or trusting yourself or feeling confident during sex and if you're in a relationship with somebody and you've talked about it and you've consented and you both think it's gonna be hot but then you get in and you know maybe it's just really hard for you to see your partner with someone else or it's hard for them to see you it can just be fraught. A lot of couples can have really you know a hard time with it. Or when someone's coerced or pressured into being one just to please a partner you should never do that. Do not be in a threesome because your partner said, we should have a threesome and you think it's

like a nice thing to do to please them. When you're both not a hell yes, you shouldn't have a threesome. I haven't seen a question like this I have to tell you since, I don't know, college or whatever, but how many guys have you been with body count? I do not believe in the body count question. I think that question is so harmful because we can't help but judge people by that number. You've had, especially for women, you've had too much, you're a slut. Exactly.

Not enough, you're not experienced enough. And if somebody asks you that question, you're allowed to say, you know what? I'm just focusing on the sex that we're having right now. And that's really what's important to me. Like just cut off the conversation. You do not have to tell anybody. It doesn't really mean anything. Cause to be honest,

a lot of people are having the kind of sex that I explained that I was having, like just hitting it and quitting it or faking it or just get it over with. I mean, I wouldn't even say that if you've had sex with 500 people, it literally means nothing. It probably means that you haven't been really in your body and had a lot of great sex, but you've just been, you know, maybe a little buzzed or maybe just going out and just getting

up your numbers because it's a quick fix that it feels good. You could get the big shot of dopamine, you get that adrenaline of something new, and then you move to the next. Because to me, that's kind of like, it's like you're, you know, sport fucking or whatever. But I don't think that if you've had thousands of people, oh God, I'm telling you how many people you've slept with does not equate to how good of a lover you are. Yeah Okay, so you're not gonna answer that question. Okay, and I wouldn't know Okay, so the answer is I have no idea But if we've had sex you can email to the show and then we could count. Yeah We have to get all of Emily's the sexual encounters right in so we know what the count is.

Are you afraid of telling your partner they aren't doing what you enjoy? No, not at all. You have to do it right. Like you don't be like that's terrible that move you just did in the bedroom. No, but you have to be like you know the compliment sandwich. This is what I really liked about what you're doing. I'm not so much loving when you you don't warm me up or you just want to get right to the sex and I'm not feeling turned on and aroused because it's a really important part of my arousal. I know if I feel more aroused, you'll feel better.

So let's just slow everything down. So I know how to talk to it in a way that it feels good because I actually believe that. I think our partners really want to be the best lovers they can be and they're doing the very best they can. They're not sitting there going, I'm really gonna piss her off, says no lover ever. So I think if we can kindly and gently guide them

and give them feedback, they're gonna wanna know. And the reason why we don't often do that is because we're so afraid we're gonna hurt their feelings. But first off, you're not getting what you want. And once they get over the pet that you love them and you're not trying to hurt them, they'll actually be able to hear you and course correct. You know, we always joke that

we're recovering people pleasers. Does that recovering people pleasering you like have problems with that? Yeah, sometimes I have a hard time. It's funny, with sex, I don't have a hard time giving feedback, but with other things, I still, I think recovering people pleaser

means that it's always gonna be a conscious choice and a conscious effort to not please. Yeah, I know that it's harder in other areas to not be so worried about what my partner thinks and to give straightforward feedback, but I work on it. To hurt feelings. You gotta make time for it, yeah, you don't wanna hurt feelings, you don't wanna offend them,

and I think when you're a people pleaser, also you're so afraid that people aren't gonna like you and that you're actually sort of manipulating their view of you, so it's actually not authentic at all. So it really is a service to learn to be clear set boundaries but it's you know a shock to the system when you haven't been living that way. Yeah it's hard but it's so hard but it's the work. But it's so worth it. So the work. Because then you feel like you're in alignment with yourself right like when you're really

living that way. Your, your alignment, exactly. It's a service to us and those around us. And then everybody else, right? Yeah. Again, the oxygen. People like when you set boundaries. People respond to it. They're like, oh, great.

I didn't know what you were doing here either, but that's great. Tell me what to do. I think people like when you tell them, like when you're direct, no one likes to play a guessing game, right? Like no one wants to guess, like, is she mad at me? Is she, does she like this? What's going on? Like, I think that we underestimate

what people like actually want. They just want direct feedback sometimes, or direct like, hey, you know what? Just let me know. Oh, you're busy? Okay, great. Let's find another day versus like skirting. Because then they can feel the skirting energy, you know?

People can feel it, all of it. You just gotta name it. How old were you when you took control of your orgasm? Oh my gosh, I was 25 when I took control of my own orgasm and realized that I It was okay that I didn't always orgasm during penetration But I had to figure out and I did figure out with my hands and with toys to figure out What felt good? I was about 25, but it was a process. I want people to know, it's not like you just one day figure it out,

this is how I do it. And it's always like that from ever on. It's different, different positions, different times of day, different times of month. There's just always a lot to figure out. But I would say I started taking seriously when I was 25 and then really much more in my 30s. That was like my full-time job.

I love that. Your full-time job was taking control of your orgasm. Yeah, because when I think of everyone took more control of their own orgasms, when we feed ourselves, when you put your oxygen mask on first, when you give yourself an orgasm, it is literally feeding and nourishing you.

So you are filled up and then you can give to others. You don't have to give them all orgasms, but it's love and connection. How do you feel about anal sex? I feel that anal sex is very misunderstood. A lot of people have a bad first time experience, they feel pressured. If you're a woman and you have a partner, you know, a male partner wants to do it, it can be painful. So I think there's a lot of like, we don't

really know how to set up anal sex for success for many people. So you know, that's another process using lots of lube, going slow, all the things I share about in my hundreds of anal episodes, which you can check out. But for me, personally, it's been a process. But I I do I enjoy it sometimes. Yeah it's a good time. Did you? So you say it, I was gonna say is it something you enjoyed right away? No. Like bam. No I think I have to, no no no I think because I think it's important to get to know that. You want to start with a finger or maybe a toy and build up to it and see, do I actually

like the sensation? I think the way that women are indoctrinated into anal sex right now does not serve the woman because there's a lot of sensitive nerve endings in our anus around the sphincter muscles that when you go slow, you use lube, you breathe into it and you allow it to open to the sensation slowly with like a loving partner or connected partner or trustworthy partner, you can really start to feel that there's just a whole lot going on with these erogenous zones and there's a lot to unpack, a lot to unfold. And so if you learn how to do it in a way that works for you, works for me, it can be

very pleasurable. I didn't go from zero to anal. Okay. I know, I think my visual was a little, I was like, when you jammed into it, did it feel good? No, but that does not sound sexy at all. No, that did not feel good when that happened to me. That was not good.

I don't even know if it happened to you, but that's how I imagine it. No, but it happens to a lot of people, a lot of women especially. It's like, oh, accidentally. Wrong ho, oops, wrong ho, that's no. I can't stand it when I hear that. Yeah, I don't think that a lot of partners are like, oh no, wrong hopes, wrong hole. I can't stand it. And I think it's, yeah, I don't think that a lot of partners are trying to do that, but that does

happen and it can be really terrifying and traumatizing because you're not warmed up, there's no lube. Like anal sex without lube is like... There's also the permission thing too, right? I'm like, I don't want that. Yeah, yeah. You gotta have heavy consent. Do you orgasm when you have penetration or do you need other need another stimulation to have an orgasm? I need a lot of warmup and stimulation to have an orgasm during penetration. But if I have an orgasm beforehand, I can have an orgasm during penetration.

Like if I've already warmed up. So like on this, if this is your vagina. Do you wanna pull it out? It is my vagina. Hold on, I'm touching your vagina. Okay, here's it. This is my second vagina. So you can touch your vagina. This is my puppet. Okay. So I'm touching your vagina. Okay, here's it. This is my second vagina. This is my puppet.

Okay. So I will need a lot of stimulation, maybe oral sex, like opening up the labia. These are all, remember, the clitoris is here, but it has nerve endings that go deep behind the labia. And so if I'm adequately stimulated and aroused and can have an orgasm this way, then all of the pelvic floor muscles and the muscles responsible for orgasm are like charged and energized. And so I can keep like, keep it flowing that when I then have penetrative sex, it's like the orgasm has already come out, one of them maybe is building and then during penetration

I can have an orgasm. Is that helpful? Does that make sense? I mean, I always love it when you pull out your second vagina. I'll be right back but real quick let me tell you about Lalo's Dot Travel Vibrator. Now you might have heard of their dot. It is a really popular toy. It's a pinpoint vibe that directly stimulates your clitoris. Well now there is a travel version which is perfect for just stashing away in your bag, purse or suitcase just in case you need it. You never know where you're gonna need a little stimulation. But let me tell you why I love the dot. This toy is super special because of that pinpoint tip. The

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yours up today at Lalo.com and be sure to use my code SEX WITH EMILY for 25% off on all other products. That's L-E-L-O dot com. Use code sexwithemily for 25% off on all other products. Have you had public sex before? I have. And? I've dabbled. It's fun. I mean, it's illegal.

Don't try it at home. Yeah, I've had public sex in parks, like with blankets. I've had public sex on a gondola once. I had public sex, yeah, different places. Fun places. At a party once. Bathroom? Bathroom.

Yeah. And the kitchen. My Ohio club? No, no. Because you know why? Yeah, tell me. Mile high club is more about checking it off the list, but it's really hard to have mutually pleasurable sex on an airplane.

In that tiny bathroom. In that tiny girl's bathroom. I mean, yes, you could jack each other off. You could do mutual masturbation on an airplane. I've done that. Okay. Is that mile high club? No. Probably. I was kidding. I don't think I've done it until completion myself. Oh, maybe I have used a vibrator on airplane. I think I have. It was an overnight flight.

Dang, love that. Yeah. Okay, that should be its own club. I know, right? The Mile High Vibrator. The Vibe Club, the Mile Vibe Club. The masturbation, the Mile High Masturbation. Yeah, it's a long flight. It helps. No, But that makes a lot more sense than having sex in the dirty bathroom. That bathroom is so tiny. I don't want to go to the bathroom in the dirty bathroom. I don't want to go to the bathroom. I barely want to touch anything. I'm like, I haven't sex in public. I try to think, yeah, camping. Sure. Coachella once outside backstage years ago, like 20 years ago. Oh, so you're gonna say like you're like two years ago? No, no, a long time ago. Yeah, it's fun. Other countries? Oh yeah. Yeah. Like oh yeah. Yeah. I used to, yeah. It feels more freeing. It is freeing. I love sex abroad. I love

traveling. I traveled a lot in my 20s by myself and so I really, really enjoyed the process of meeting different lovers in different cities and states and like I'm going to Bangkok. You want to come to Bangkok? Oh, we're gonna go to Bali and we're gonna go. You know, I just traveled around the world for like nine months teaching and having sex. As one does. So I asked you about whether talking about sex ever gets boring, but does sex ever get dull for you? Oh yeah. Just like everyone else, sex gets boring after a while. get dull for you? Oh yeah just like everyone else sex gets boring after a while and it does and so I just... I mean sex gets boring or sex with one person gets boring? Sex with one person can get boring for sure.

I think that that's really common and and that was one of my drivers for getting into this profession was like I never want to be in that relationship where sex gets boring. But guess what? If you're with the same person over and over and over again, every day of your life, it's gonna get a little rote. And so that's okay too. That's so normal. And they just go, hey, why don't we try something new?

Why don't we go on vacation? Why don't we try a new toy? Why don't we like, let's go to my yes, no, maybe list and see what else is on there that we haven't tried. I have this- What's the yes, no, maybe list? Really what else is on there that we haven't tried. What's the yes, no, maybe list? Really? Yeah, what? Oh my God.

Talk to me. It's on our website. It's our most popular downloadable guide. It's a list of 100 sex acts. Kissing, like is it a yes, it is a no, is it maybe spanking, is it a yes, a no, or maybe. Anal play, yes, no, maybe. You and your partner, I'll give it to you tonight to take home. You and your partner each take it and then you compare lists.

Do you have yeses on there? Oh, I didn't know you wanted me to spank you. I want to be spanked. I like this. It's a great conversation. Sorry, it's a free guide on our site that you can download. We will link to that in the show notes. And it's a really great place for couples. So a friend of mine, she was like the other night with her new partner, she's like, oh my God, all weekend long we were playing with the different topics because a lot of times we do get stuck, we get in a rut and we don't know what to do to get out of it. We literally do not know what to do to do it differently. And it's just the act of building the us together and seeing where you're aligned and then planning

and anticipation of trying something new is a lot of times what we need. You're craving that something new. I'm with you. Lists are aspirational. I mean, we're always making lists. Where can we travel to? Where can we do this? What can we do? You know what I mean? G you the brush? Yeah, it gives you like dreams you dream

So yeah, yeah, so what's on your like? What are what's on your my yes, don't make me list or my aspiration list Um, I don't know. I don't you know, honestly, most of them are yeses and there's probably more to do. I Mean, I think I've probably done most of them, but I probably do. That's a good way to revisit that. I should do that. I should do that. I should do it. Should you and I do one together? Yeah, exactly. I can help your husband talk him through with you. The thing about the yes no maybe is what I worry sometimes is, not worry, but people do it and they fucking love it and then they're like now what? And so I want to do another guide that's, would you guys want this? A follow-up guide to the yes no maybe guide that would actually be a yes no maybe let's go and how to actually implement it because sometimes execution. Oh I like that because

you're right you can get stuck on a list too. Yeah. You can be like okay hey yes now what do I do? Yeah yeah so couples like love it and they talk about it for weeks but they're like oh we never actually did it because we didn't really know how to get what kind of pegging set to get or what kind of toy to get for this fantasy to be fulfilled. Oh I like this one. Sex and insecurities. Mm-hmm. Because I feel like a lot of your listeners like and they feel comfortable talking to you about it. Yeah they do. Which I really I think that's really awesome. Oh my god I love it that's why I'm here to help people move through their insecurities. You're so good at that too by the way. Everyone has had more of it. I can't

compete with that sample size, jealousy, scared. Talk to us. Oh what are my insecurities? Yeah and how do you move through them you know? I guess sometimes I have insecurities that I don't initiate sex enough. It's a skill set. You have to learn also how to initiate because if you're used to being someone initiating which is great, that can get really old after a while when one person is always, I'm usually down. I'm like, let's go, but I'm not like, let's do it because my arousal is more based on responsive. So I respond to something happening

and like my partner does something or makes a bid for sex or I'm like, okay, I'm in, but I'm not thinking about it. I've never been that person who was super, I'm thinking about sex all the time and I think that we're born in certain ways with our, where our hormones are and all that. So I always have to be like, oh yeah, that's a great idea. So then I have to think, okay, my partner's brought it up.

I'm going to, and then I wear like, I didn't do it enough. Is that your personality though, in general? Yeah. Yeah. So it's all trans. People follow up with me for everything. Like people, I'm like, if you want me to do something, you got to follow up with me. I want to do it.

Just email me and then email my assistant. But you're gonna do the app. Maybe I should email my assistant Ben and have him put up my calendar and initiate sex tonight. I think that would help. I will say that that is a thing that comes up where I will hear, I don't know why you resist it because once you're doing it, you love it. And so then I'm always like, yeah, I don't know why I resist it.

Yeah. Maybe because your body feels a little shut down and tired at the moment. I'm like, oh, right? And so then I'm always like, yeah, I don't know why I resist it. Yeah, maybe because your body feels a little shut down and tired at the moment. I'm like, oh, sleep sounds so good. Yeah, except because sleep always sounds so good. Well, I think the other thing I've had to realize is like, I've also had to set boundaries with my partner. Like it's never gonna happen on like a Tuesday night past 10 30 or a Monday.

Like if I'm in bed, I'm tired. I really, my sleep is so, I think everyone's asleep. If you really start to prioritize it, this is the most important thing. If I get less than seven, seven and a half hours a night, I'm good to nobody. Don't come around me. Don't come around me no more, like that. So then I can say, don't come around if I'm tired. And so I think I'd say, but maybe we could, you know, this weekend we'll have more. That's why the scheduling sex thing. When I say scheduling sex, it doesn't mean like send me a

Cal invite. It could just mean like this weekend we're both gonna be around. Like we have so much time, we can sleep in, we can do what we want. And maybe that's just better than like, oh my god, we're brushing our teeth, now we're going to have sex. Because also if you remember, if you're with a man, it helps them sleep, it helps them reduce their stress, it's a release, they go to bed, it's easy for them, it's a sure thing. But for women, it's like an opening, it's a receiving, and so we got to get warmed up. where's the lube, where's the toilet, my brain wasn't there, I was still thinking about the kids and the work. And it's like, it's a much bigger process than your partner walks out and is like, you're hot, I'm an erection, let's go.

So the way that we become or turn down, the way that we want to have sex, it's one of the biggest differences between men and women. I don't think there are as many as we once thought, but I think the way that we prepare for sex and get aroused for sex is very different and can cause a lot of the problems in relationships. What is something that people don't know about you? Oh, that's a good question. People probably don't know how much you giggle and laugh, and like you enjoy laughing and

you find things funny and that you're funny. Yeah? Yeah, you're fun. I'm fun. I love to laugh. It's like my favorite thing is to laugh and being around like really interesting, smart, funny people that just are, you know, make me laugh and seeing funny things. I mean laughter is also healing. Laughter is medicine. It is. Okay, so if you weren't sex with Emily, and if you weren't sex and Emily, what would you be? I think I would still be a seeker and be on a path of guidance and teaching and learning. I think not because I feel this because I have a skill set in this way that I've worked on, but I would love to be more into like food and cooking and making homes beautiful and that whole like domesticity. I don't have that gene, but I think if I had time, I would love to lean into

that more because I think it is a really great creative expression to be able to create a space for people to feel good and to gather. Like if I didn't have to, if I wasn't working as much, I would probably make a home, and it's getting there, that just is comfortable and inviting and grounding and warm. I mean, your home is is beautiful but I get it.

It's that you I think want the time to like host and the details. Give back and like have people over and entertain and bring together my people. But that's coming. Where are you right now? Where am I right now? You've been wanting to say this. That's why I'm giving you the opening. No, I don't know what to say. I think what you want to say is that like you are, because you've told me this on the phone, that this is why I feel like you wanted to do this, is that you want to share. I don't want to talk about my sex life, but yeah. Yeah, but you want to share with your listeners where you are in your life and how you want to like expand this brand to really continue

to like grow authentically. Yeah, I wanted it because it started so long ago. It started 20 years ago and where I was then and where I'm now are very different places. And there's a certain level of, I don't know, like authenticity and realness about where I am right now and who I am, which is different than where I was. And I think we can start to explore that. I think it's just evolving. I'm heading into the 20th year of Sex with Emily

and we're going to be re-imagining the show, relaunching the show. You can push me. Where are you at from marriage these days? Marriage was never, it's not as interesting to me. I believe in having a committed relationship where you have great boundaries and you talk about things and you know where you both stand and how you feel and what your long-term plans are and all the things but marriage was never something that

spoke to me and was never a aspiration really so I think where I'm at is where I'm at right now Do you think that has to do with kids? Well I will get married for kids and I know that kids was never a priority for me either so getting married without having kids I'm not really sure why that's necessary. I don't think that we necessarily need that but of course I support everyone else who decides to get married. That was just never something that seemed to fit into my lifestyle.

Yeah you weren't that person at 25 that was like I I wanna make sure that I get married by this age. I never had that. That's another reason though I felt that I was broken because most, or I was off or something is wrong with me because most people that I knew were like, of course I'm getting married, of course I have kids. I'm like, how do you know that? How do you know zero doubt that what if you don't want that?

Like we get to like work and we get to be out in the world and it's a different time than our parents generation. How do you know? Like I was always like, I'm leaving that open. I'm going to see how I feel. And I actually never, you know, never veered from it though. But I was open. I was like, oh, maybe I'll meet someone and I'll be like, oh, of course we should

reproduce and have a child. This makes so much sense. But you know, that was just, I have other desires, ways I want to live my life. I love my friends. I love my dogs. I love spontaneity. I love travel. I love being able to have freedom and being able to create wherever I go and meet people.

It's just, who knows though? Who knows what could happen? But that's where I am now. A lot of people I know who had it planned out, they did that, they stuck to their plan and I think what I learned too through the years is I used to be a planner and the more I flow, the more I get to experience, and I think what I learned too through the years is like I used to be a planner and the more I flow, the more I get to experience.

So I get it. It's good to be in flow. Yeah, planning's always been a little bit harder for me. But I always say I'm doing things, but I just wanna kind of, cause I'm such a feeler, so I kind of feel where things are at and then go towards it.

Cause I trust my, I try to trust my intuition, my gut about what feels right. And sometimes you don't know what it is ahead of time. It's serving you though. I mean,'s super serving you. Yeah, thriving. Thank you. Emily, this is your podcast, but I along with so many want to know about your sex life. So thank you for sharing all of your intimate details with us today. That's it for today's episode. See you on Friday! Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily.

Be sure to like, subscribe, and give us a review wherever you listen to the podcast and share this with a friend or partner. You can find me on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at Sex with Emily. Oh, I've been told I give really good email. So sign up at SexWithEmily.com and while you're there, check out my free guides and articles for more ways to prioritize your pleasure. If you'd like to ask me about your sex life, dating, or relationships, call my hotline 559-TALK-SEX.

That's 559-825-5739. Or go to SexWithEmily.com slash ask Emily. Was it good for you? Email me, feedback at SexWithEmily.com.