Sex With Emily - SWE: Maturbation Memoirs
Episode Date: January 18, 2012Emily wants to become a professional wingwoman, the stop and start method, mutual masturbation, threesomes with two guys and how women like to masturbate Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for mor...e information.
Transcript
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Hey, Emily. You got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.
The girl's got a hair stand. Oh my!
Who women know about shrinkage? Isn't it common knowledge?
What do you mean like laundry?
It's shrink?
Can we not talk about sex so much?
Are you kidding me?
Oh my god.
She's got a lot of fear.
So, being bad feels pretty good.
You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.
You're listening to Sex with Emily.
We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between.
For more information, go to sexwithelmmy.com where we answer all your sex questions.
If you want to improve your sex life, you will become a friend of the benefits member.
So you get multiple shows a week and you get, we're doing special seminars with our friends
of benefits members and we've got all these great things.
So we appreciate you and we appreciate everyone.
I hope you, of whoever wants to be well and have a great weekend.
We are talking about masturbation today. And it's a special show.
I've got Tiana, who works with me and Kelsey, my assistant.
Hi guys, how are you?
We thought that we would do a show.
We're talking about masturbation.
We're going to a little bit about female masturbation,
which can be elusive to some men.
And also, mutual masturbation.
Mutual masturbation is one of my favorite tips for couples
on how to improve their sex life.
Because I think that if you are confused or confounded
by how to turn your girlfriend on or your boyfriend on,
if you actually watch them do it to themselves,
then you kind of know, oh, he likes the tip rub
more than the shower, whatever it is,
you pick up little tips and how she rubs her clitoris
on the outside of the clitor.
You pick up tips.
You just do.
So everyone should try a little mutual masturbation.
We've got some toys that work with that and we're going to be talking about that.
We're going to take our own personal experience with masturbation today, aren't we?
Yes, unfortunately.
We're going to get into it.
We're going to get into it.
I'll share my own personal experiences.
And a few things I have to tell you is, Valentine's Day not too far away.
It's less than a month away.
Adam and Eve, it has an awesome deal right now.
They've got, you get the Kim card, first of all.
You get 50% off most items.
You get the Kim card, ashy and sex tape DVD.
You get a free mystery gift, free shipping,
all that with coupon code Emily at checkout.
And we're gonna be going over some of their toys today
that you can buy.
So do that. And we've got a new poll on our website.
It is how long do you think four plays should last?
A, what four play?
B, five minutes.
C, fifteen minutes.
D, forty five minutes.
E, all night long, baby.
What do you guys think?
Tiana, what do you think?
I would say four play playing like kissing oral.
Oral kissing.
45?
I mean, because I would want to kiss for a little bit.
Well, I don't know, it depends on the mood I'm in,
but then I would want to do oral for a little while.
We're both ways.
Right, good, 45 minutes.
It sounds about right?
Yeah, I would also say 45 minutes.
I mean, it depends.
Sometimes you just like want to get straight.
Sometimes you just want to have a quickie,
or you just want to bang.
But I think that closer, yeah, you gotta talk close to that.
I think that we, I think that a lot of,
we've talked about this today,
for 45 minutes is about right.
And I know like if men have just heard me like,
oh my God, why do I have men?
It's I haven't done 45 minutes of my entire life,
humanly of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of,
for place.
So I think, um, I think that's important.
So go vote, go vote on our site.
And I'm also giving way a couple copies
of my book,
Hot Sex, over 200 things you can try to night,
so if you're in your relationship,
you're a little stumped, you're trying to figure out,
God, what could I do to improve it?
Actually, I should've seen this one another day,
she does my eyebrows.
I was getting my eyebrows plucked.
That's what I do.
And she was like, she whispers to me and she's like,
Adely, she's like, why does this sex go away after a while?
I've been with my boyfriend for two years and like, what can we do just to my set up?
And I ran back to my car and I gave her a copy of the book because there's 200 things.
And I'm like, just do one of these things and you'll be fine.
So it is the kind of thing that helps people and we want them to be helped.
So, how we doing here?
We good?
Everything?
Okay, let's get into obsessing the sex and the news and then we're going to get into some masturbation like you've never heard of before.
Because it's going to be real stories from real people, my real people here.
Okay, sex and the news.
Kim Kardashian breaks down.
She says, I'm just so unhappy.
So last night she broke down an episode of Courtney and Kim take New York and she started to
question whether marrying Chris Humphreys was the right thing to do.
I'm just so unhappy.
I don't like who I am in this marriage.
I don't like who I am to him.
I don't like who I am to myself.
My gut and my heart is telling me I did this too fast.
Duh!
I guess everyone's talking about it.
Now we all know what happened, but now it's so funny that she did this reality show
and had it all recorded.
We can watch the demise. We know exactly now why they got divorced like if we
care but you can watch the on courting him maybe she recorded after everything
happened
now also then
well no it was recorded during during the relationship it was real like he was
kind of a jerk you saw it did you see it all
i haven't yet i've seen a little bit of it and um you look like a jerk kind of
he's young
I think they're young. No, don't get married before 30. I guess Kim's 30, but he's like 27
Just nobody got married before 30 ever, okay, and
Obviously, I think this is probably a good show to watch now because you're watched everyone knows they work up
And you can see everything's he did I saw one episode and he was just being a jerk like she's like don't have a party in my room
When I'm out of town and he did and just jerky things like that.
Okay, your team Kim.
I'm team Kim.
No, I'm not.
I'm not team any.
I'm not any other team.
I'm team teams for the Kardashian.
No, no, but she did move too quickly and it was so obvious to the rest of the world.
Okay, you can now hire a wingman.
You can now hire a professional wingman or wing woman.
Susan Baxter founder
of hire a Boston wingwoman told the journal that her services allow clients to see past
initial judgments by meeting women in person. $130 fee gets clients two hours of time with
their Boston wingwoman during which time she helps her shy client break the ice with
women facilitating conversation and generally making them look good. Now I do this for all my guy friends.
I get them all laid.
I think you should become a professional wing woman.
I know if this such the only thing doesn't work out, maybe you could grant my services.
Maybe you could grant my services.
Benefit to the friends with benefits.
That's a good idea.
If you're a friends with benefits member and you would like me to be your wing woman, maybe
I could do it because I'm telling you I've won or two guy friends and they're like,
if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have gotten laid because I love them
They're my guy friends and I'm like you guys are amazing and we'll be out
and I'd be like and when they see you with
When they see you with a
Girl like when we when well they're women like they see me they see me with these guys and then I
Then they see more approachable because they're hanging out with the woman and then I go up and I'm like
Oh, yeah, my friends are awesome
We all start talking and I bridge it
and then they end up banging them.
So it's like a good thing.
Do you guys do that with your friends?
Every time I have a friend, he's one of my good guy friends.
And he specifically wants me to go out with him
like on the town because every time he pulls,
and the girls would be really nice to me.
Right.
Because you know, they want him.
Right, exactly.
And I'm like, oh god, like I said. But it says something to a woman that a guy can be friends with a woman and a
woman is helping out like a woman is there helping her out so that's good
you if you have a wing woman you will get laid quicker right but it's a good
service and I would totally do it for my friends benefits members okay just
to go build ditches her engagement ring at the 2012 golden globe so you guys
watch the golden globebes last night?
I missed it.
I did too.
I watched a little bit of it.
She looked beautiful in the lace gown
and the red carpet, but the 29 year old actors
was missing her engagement ring.
We all want to see it.
That's the second night she stepped out without the ring.
Probably because she didn't want to draw attention to it,
but she did get on stage and I did see her delivery,
her presentation, and she was holding her hands behind her back like this.
Like she probably knew everyone would be like
looking at her ring.
So she obviously did have it on purpose.
She did get publicity.
Her dress was a little saggy, but it was pretty.
She's beautiful.
She really is.
I'm really glad they're getting married.
Yeah.
But then I read this thing, because now, you know me,
I'm becoming a pop culture junkie.
I read this thing in like, people magazine that like, he's a, or in touch, or one of those
things that he's such a player, like that his, his,
reputations that he's the biggest player and like, well, she will attain him, like, it's
only going to be temporary.
And then he's going to like cheat on her again.
Well, he got like super heartbroken with Britney Spears.
And then after that, because he wasn't like that before when he was in.
15 years ago or something. Yeah, but I mean, like he was a like that before when he was in. 15 years ago or something.
Yeah, but I mean, he was a little like,
like he was more sweet, you know, like he was with Britney
and then Britney broke his heart
and then he got all like,
quite your status.
Yeah, but that was so long ago,
but she knew what I'm missing.
A lot of our issues stem from very early on
romantic relationships or sexual relationships.
So like a lot of times,
like things that happened to us when we were younger,
like you get hardened around those things and you never really changed. I think he got jaded. He got totally jaded. Yeah, yeah
Maybe but he's also hot. Yeah, I mean he's just a joker like like you get singing you get dance. He's funny
He's as an SNL he created a vodka like in clothing like he does everything. He's pretty awesome. Okay, Lindsay Lohan is a mess
What's not a shock and crash his wine scene party? Okay, so Lindsay Lohan is a mess. And Crash is Weinstein party.
So Lindsay Lohan wasn't nominated for anything, but she decided to crash a party she wasn't
even invited to.
The Weinstein company hosted a pre-golding Globes party, the Chattano Marmott and Los Angeles
and Lohan snuck in the hotel's back entrance.
This isn't her first time.
She got kicked out of a Mark Jacobs fashion week party where she threw a glass.
That's kind of sad that Lindsey Lowe and sneaking into parties now.
She should just stay in rehab for like a year.
She's just a hot mess.
She is a total hot mess.
She needs to get a priority.
She's straight.
She's good.
She went to rehab like 10 times.
She did.
Sometimes it takes a while for her to stick.
You know, you need to like be in rehab for like a really long time sometimes.
Maybe she should stop drinking.
Yeah, I know.
Isn't she stopped drinking though?
I don't know.
Apparently not.
She's crashing parties and throwing glasses.
I guess I'm the bad person.
How embarrassing is that?
Everyone knows she wasn't invited.
And she's like, excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse me to the waiters in the back, because she's trying to get through the food and stuff.
Oh, God, poor Lindsay.
So bad for her.
I know.
I feel bad for her too.
So, okay.
We've got some emails from listeners that you emailed me at feedback at sexwithammy.com.
There's also a really cool new feature on our website or feature it's been there.
Ask Emily, you can ask directly through the website.
So this one is about Kegelcamp, which is my popular iPhone app that you should download
ASAP for men and women to help some strength in their PC muscles.
So anyway, Emily, I've been through the Kegel Camp program several times.
What can I do to further strengthen the PC muscles?
What about doing two sessions back to back?
Any suggestions?
Thanks, James.
Yes, James, we're actually releasing an update of Kegel Camp and hopefully in the next month.
And you can do further sessions back to back.
You can do more sessions a day.
You can, yeah, do it back to back.
And I mean, if you experience any pain,
you should obviously talk to your doctor.
But if you've gone through it several times,
I would try increasing the sessions.
I would try to increase the ones that have you go slower
and the ones that go faster.
It's actually my voice dictating you through
the Kaggle Camp exercises.
Like I say things like contract, release, contract, good job.
I have it.
Yeah, you have it.
Do you ever listen to it?
And then that's how I would say sessions backed back.
There's also, I'm not sure exactly that you want to strengthen the PC muscles.
I'm not sure if you're having any issues with premature circulation,
but there's also the stop start method,
which also helps your PC muscles,
if you want to masturbate to the point,
to the point you're about to,
it's the point of no return.
To the point where you feel like you're about to orgasm
and you stop yourself and you do it again
and you stop yourself,
that'll also help strengthen your PC muscles.
But stick with Kyle Kemp.
Wait, so what do you think about the stop and start method during sex though?
It's amazing. It totally works for Matt. If men are premature
deaculasia, premature deaculators, stop and start method during sex is great.
I just had a friend though once and some guy did that and it was like every five
seconds. Oh yeah. Though he was in. He'd be like wait, wait. Oh yeah.
He like, okay, go. He'd be, wait. I've totally been with that guy. And it's a little annoying, but you
shouldn't stop start every five seconds. Although the guys that are premature
ejaculators, like my my ex from years ago, who was the minute, literally he was like the
56 second man. He wasn't even a minute man. And he'd be like, wait, wait, wait, no, no,
don't move. Like, yeah, totally. I was there.
I was there.
And that is a bummer.
And what you can do is, is you do these stop start methods
on your own.
So when you're home masturbating as a guy,
you bring yourself to the point that you're about to come,
and then you stop yourself, and you build it up.
Because then you really fine-tunely recognize
that point where you're about to orgasm.
So during sex, you know when to stop.
That guy that you've been with, that your friend went with, that I was with, they need a little
more exercise, and a little more help because it is annoying when...
And men can do kiggle-cam exercises.
Men are for kiggles are for women and men.
In fact, I think we've heard from more men than women, which is surprising.
I need to forward some emails to some people that I'm scared to say.
You should, you should.
It's popular app.
I can't tap. This is recommended by... I need to forward some emails to some people that you should you should it's popular app
I can't that this is recommended by
Tiana
Exactly exactly if you like don't say anything about you say like like I went to the premature jackal year with you
Like hey buddy like they were just it was quick and they were like how quick they got embarrassed
Yeah, they do get embarrassed you got to make him feel like it's fine and I go. Oh, it's okay, but really I'm like
embarrassed. Yeah, they do get embarrassed. You got to make them feel like it's fine. And I go, oh, it's okay, but really I'm like, right? Exactly. It's totally always a bummer,
but it's not, it's something that men can actually improve. And I always talk about this book,
the multi orgasmic man, is the ultimate book. You could probably get it in like the Kindle Now
or the iPad or whatever. But they always give me one excuse. And I really think men should not
use this excuse. I haven't had sex in a while. Oh, yeah. Why didn't you masturbate beforehand?
Right. Have you heard that?
I understand because masturbation, which we're talking about, actually helps guys a lot.
Like I know guys who cannot orgasm during sex because of masturbation.
Right. So maybe you need to practice more masturbation.
Pre-game. Pre-game. masturbate. More masturbate.
More and practice. Stop. Start. Method. That's absolutely what you have to do.
And we are getting more into masturbation some
intimate masturbation stories coming up. Okay hey Emily Menace is this gay? So
here's a deal. I linked up with an ex-girlfriend from high school and she still
looks as chat as she did then. We're both 30-ish. We met we are 17 but now she's
saying she's more experimental. She's only into guys that seem kind of gay or
that open to being bicarious.
Now comes the question.
If I kinda play the gay role, I'll even consider to threesome with two men unfortunately for
this girl.
Does this make me seem gay?
Keep in mind she is a 10 on the 110 scale.
It feels like if both guys were into her, it wouldn't be weird.
But she's being open to the experience seems kind of gay by to you.
Would I ever go about doing it?
Should I be worried?
To menace?
Is it worth it?
Thanks, Matt and San Diego.
We could read this tomorrow too.
But I think, you know what?
I wouldn't just, if you're uncomfortable with this situation,
this is not something I would jump into
being in a threesome with another guy
and a woman just because you like this chick,
like just because she's your old high school friend or ex-girlfriend from high school. I would not say this makes you gay at all or
it may be, I mean you're not hucking up with the guy, I presume that you're just gonna focus on
the check. I don't know if you've plans to do a little reach around or touch the guy's balls or
anything, but that might make you curious, but I don't like that the little reach around. I don't
like to label it, so I don't want to say anything.
But if you're open to the experience,
and it's not making you feel too uncomfortable,
I wouldn't worry about labels.
Because that's what stops you.
Like, oh, you seem gay, I'm just seeing that,
but you might be a really pleasurable experience.
I don't know.
It kind of seems though like she's using this as,
it's kind of a rejection in a way.
I don't know.
I'm only into guys that are like this. Like, He doesn't fit a certain category that you're doing.
Yeah, and he's trying to change himself for her. That's what makes me uncomfortable.
This is really outside your box. Sometimes it's good to do things sexually that are outside your box.
I think you push yourself. You're like, I'd never do that.
And then you do it. And you're like, wow. But if this is something that really makes you uncomfortable,
I wouldn't, I mean, it sounds like she's not ready
to get into an Agnus relationship or anything.
Sounds like a girl that's from Serm Sonska.
I know, does she live here?
Do we know her?
You're in San Diego.
But I don't know.
If you're interested in it, I would do it,
but I don't worry about the labels.
I hate when people say that they're open,
but they still make categories.
Yeah, exactly.
I only want men that are bicariots, but it's like, know I got catch you should move here because seriously every guy's by curious by sexual
Yeah, I some I can't even
Like you can't be guys and I don't need off their game anymore. Exactly. They probably are
I just see them. They're getting less proven straight in this town
I'm like you're probably gay
That's what you do and you're safe or by Or by. Yeah. A lot of by. A lot of
by. And I don't know what to do with that, right? It's like, by like, would you rather
have penis inside you? Do you want me to penetrate you with a dildo in the ass? What do
they want? I don't feel like I'm into that for some reason. It's not that I'm not open
minded. It's just weird to me. Yeah. It is. It is kind of weird. If you're a woman
used to being with a heterosexual man and to know that he was sucking a penis last night
Could make you feel a little uncomfortable
Understand okay
porn this one's about porn. Hi, Emily. I was on Facebook yesterday when I noticed that two of my acts is like this story called
Web porn is killing my libido. I
Often watch porn and masturbate. I think it may have led to an early end for both relationships.
Sometimes sex just feels like I'm going through the motions. I just thought that my performance
issues were due to stress my past use of pro-zek or lack of attraction to the girls. I haven't felt
strongly sexual in a while. Do you think porn's a problem? How should I stop or cut down on my
porn viewing? This is from Gilbert from Burnberry BC. He's a premium friend of benefits member.
As you know, if you're a friend's benefits member,
we answer emails right away.
Okay, here is the deal.
You're first of all, Prozac.
If you said you're past use of Prozac,
how past use, how long would you use it?
Because if you've been out for a few months, that's fine.
But if you just went off it, Prozac definitely,
SSRIs for depression or anxiety,
the people take have a huge impact on your sex life.
So it can kill your libido.
But you still want to masturbate.
I would say, I don't think that porn is a people like to, or always asking for and the problem.
Porn's only a problem if it's like wreaking havoc on your life, on your day-to-day life,
are you not going to work anymore?
Are you doing porn instead of visiting your friends or whatever?
But I would try sticking away, I would try, like maybe you haven't been attracted to these
girls, but I, it doesn't, how often are you, it says you often watch porn and masturbate.
That's so normal, like to often, I don't know if you're doing it 10 times a day.
If you are doing it 10 times a day, I would try to cut back.
But even doing it once a day or three times a week, I don't think there's a problem.
But you haven't felt strongly sexual for a while.
I would talk to your doctor.
I think that's a good time to get a check up.
You never know what's going on with you.
You take any blood pressure medication.
Are you taking anything else?
There's a lot of different things that we do.
How's your diet?
There's a lot of things in your life that can impact your libido. I
think also you're stressed and stress is number one for men. So if you're going to have
a lot of stress, you took pro-zac. It just sounds maybe you're depressed. That could be it.
And porn is a sure thing. Of course you can get off with porn, but it's with a woman
you have to have intimacy and a connection. And maybe you just haven't felt like opening
up to someone in a while. So would suggest therapy doctor look into it.
Take some time focusing on yourself.
But I wouldn't worry, I don't think it's the porn that's preventing you from wanting
to get turned on by these women.
Yeah, I agree.
I think the porn's probably the least of his problems.
I love porn.
I think it's healthy.
Yeah, porn's good.
Porn is our friend.
Okay.
So, should you do one more question?
Let's get to the topic.
Let's get to the topic because we're going to have fun here with the topic.
Okay, masturbation.
Okay.
Masturbation.
Mutual masturbation can be a five minute quickie or a night of extravagant romance whenever
you decide.
Now, here's why I'm a huge fan of mutual masturbation.
Like I said earlier, is because you can, it's hot to watch your partner masturbate to get off, like to see what he does,
what she does. And then you can learn from each other, you can use his hands and your body,
her hands and her body, whatever it is, and teach each other what feels good, put your hand over his
hand. So it's, it's a great way to deal with your different sex drives. Also, if you're both
not into it, you can just masturbate.
And that sometimes works.
And it teaches you what your partner likes.
And it can also really raise a level of intimacy.
It's a really intimate thing to be sitting there with your partner masturbating like the
faces you make and the things you do, you're like, I don't want anyone to watch me do
that.
But it really, it really opens up a lot in your relationship.
And it helps you get comfortable with your body. Also, it's a big thing like if you are not that comfortable with masturbation or with showing
your whole body to your partner, this should be a way to do it.
So, if you guys are experienced with mutual masturbation.
Yeah, definitely.
Would you like to tell me about one of your experiences and how it worked for your relationship?
Yeah, I mean, I've done the usual, just, you both masturbate together.
I think I did a lot of that in high school.
I don't know. I thought I was really cool when I'd be like, hey, wanna masturbate? Could you get off with the guy in high school?
No, no. I didn't get off in high school. So, um, but now I kind of took it to the next level, five years later, and
do the whole the sex toy. Yes, the sex toy. And so I use my Hattachi Magic Wand in front of my boyfriend,
and while he fingers me.
That's awesome.
So I guess is that...
That's mutual masturbation.
Oh yeah.
The Hattachi Magic Wand, as we've said,
is the Mac talk of all vibrators.
It's an amazing vibrator.
And you know, Kelsey, I have to say that
you're ahead of me in that.
I love my, you know, that it mines drilled into my wall permanently and I've still not used it with... I have to say that you're ahead of me in that. I love my, you know, that it mine's drilled into my wall
permanently and I've still not used it with,
you have to do that with like a current guy.
Like a lot, I know, I know.
I'm afraid that they're going to be,
no, they love the virus.
They love it.
They love the vibration to tell my,
the vibration feels good on his penis as well, right?
Okay, it's really the hotachis like this gigantic
vibrator, so it's really hard to like move around
while you're having sex.
So you basically just do like doggie style
and dudes love doggie style.
They're like, they love out it.
Right.
They like always want to do it.
So it's that doggie style for them.
You're having more fun and there's vibrations.
Right.
And the thing about the tachis now,
we say it's really big.
We don't mean it's big and scary.
It is bigger than your penis, but it's not, doesn't even look like a penis. It's not about insertion
It's a misoger. It's basically like a back misoger that you use on your clitoris
Which is amazing whenever we talk about it. I just want to go home and get mine
Yeah, like in the moment. So that was good
That was so that's a little mutual masturbation
So if you use it in front of him where you're masturbating yourself and he's masturbating, okay?
And then also for men there's masturbation sleeves.
You can buy Tenga masturbation sleeves.
Those are for men, they're like a jelly thing.
Do we talk about some of those in here
for the masturbation sleeves for men?
Should we be able to get like, flush lights from Adam and Eve?
Yeah, the flush light is like, are the pocket pussy?
Those are sex toys from male masturbation.
Masturbation toys for women in Hitachi, Magikwa, the rabbit, and the bullet.
We'll get into that minute. So, Tiana, what about you? Any experiences with
mutual masturbation? I'm masturbate on my own.
Right. Anything. A lot of times when I pull out toys,
guys are like, why am I not good enough? And you guys really need to get that out
of their head. Yeah, there's, I'm not that they're scared of toys,
but they think that the toys will be better than them.
I think a lot of the time.
Right, right.
I have used the bullet, I like the bullet.
Yeah, the bullets are not too stiff.
Right, they're like a little, right.
But the bullet's awesome.
That's actually my favorite, Master Asian toy.
Which one, the bullet, just the bullet bullet?
It's like a little silver one.
Yeah, that's a good one. That's my. Yeah, and it's a good one to start because like I use that a lot when I started using toys
That's actually my first toy. It's like an inch long too. It's very unattrusive and it's a good starter beginning one
Exactly
And you've never masturbated with a toy. That's a good one to start off with right right
Exactly, so that's good so you've used that alone and with your part
Have you ever used it with a partner?
He used it with a partner. He used it on me.
He used it on you. So meet your master.
So meet your master.
So you've done ways.
Yeah.
Either you're both lying there next to each other masturbating. So you're discovering what turns to other on.
And then you can also be sharing the opportunity. You can masturbate your partner or they masturbate you.
It's like my favorite sex thing. Like I feel like it makes couples more intimate.
It actually learn like it's a great thing.
So you use the bullet.
I love the packer rocket.
I think the packer rocket is a great vibrator
to use to also join mutual masturbation.
Now a lot of people don't need sex toys.
A lot of women can just orgasm without sex toys.
Or you can use your fingers too.
I mean it's not like, you know,
a lot of times when I masturbate,
I'm too lazy to open up my drawer.
Right, right, right.
And the fingers, right, you don't need to use sex toys.
We just like to talk about sex toys we can.
And a lot of guys, like, you know,
like when we're having sex, he'll think, like, you know,
finger me and it feels, and it increases everything.
Yeah, when you're having sex or when you're,
when you're, when you guys, when you're, like,
I'm on top, he'll like, when he's like, you know,
going to me, he'll like,
rob your clitoris, or clitoris, right, right, right, that's's like, you know, going to me, he'll like, rob your clitoris.
Or clitoris, right, right, that's good.
That's awesome.
That's awesome.
What is?
Oh, just masturbating, either you masturbating while you're having sex or him rubbing
sex.
Exactly.
So clitoris stimulation is huge during sex and it should always be, for most women, you
need clitoris stimulation.
So if you need to add lube sometimes, sometimes I always add the lube.
I love lubrication.
Any kind of lube, there's someone here that we mentioned, right?
There's, it's called ID.
ID?
I hear your D. Yeah.
And you can buy it on Adam and Eve.
Okay, you can get it.
I tried it and it's my favorite.
Okay.
ID, lube.
Okay.
Really good.
And then, what were we just saying about just now?
We did that.
About master's simulation.
So it's so important that I love when guys just know it.
They like know just to rub your clitoris.
Some women don't like it, but most women do need
some form of clitoral stimulation, which is why we're talking about using
your fingers, his fingers, vibrators, whatever works for you.
So there's different, okay, so using eye contact and playing together, at the beginning,
you might feel uncomfortable mutually masturbating, right?
It might be you're used to coming together, and now you're both lying apart doing your own
thing.
So you can get comfortable and add eye contact, you can try sharing fantasies, what you'd like to do to your partner, what they could do. It's
kind of more of an intimate. It is almost more intimate than sex.
Yeah, I feel like you need.
Then of course, to start, like if you want to do
menstrual masturbation, I feel like you should start with someone that you're
already comfortable with. Right, not the first day. Yeah, it's not like a one-night
stand and we're gonna do some mutual masturbation. Right. Exactly. It's just
definitely be someone you're comfortable with already. At least for your first time, if you have never tried it. Exactly.
So there's sex positions. There's different positions that you could try.
You could, you know, like I said, you could,
this is just a starting masturbation, but you could be sitting on,
you could be lying there. like if I'm the woman
and I'm lying there and I've got my sex toys
and I could like be starting and then I could take your hand,
his hand maybe and show him what to do.
You could also, like I said, like woman on top,
you're able to use toys easier that way
or about doggy style would be great.
Okay, and then some of the things that we recommend
in toys are the We Vibes too.
We love the sale, they sell these at Adam and Eve.
That's a toy that's made specifically.
It's a good, mutual masturbation one, mutual for sex, like for it's good for intercourse
because both the men and the women get it.
Sex toys for male masturbation, the flashlight, the pocket pussy, and then masturbation toys
for women, the Hattachi, magic wand, and the bullets.
Anything else about masturbation?
Yeah, actually, and also the Form 3 from Jimmy Jane.
And Jimmy Jane, it made specifically for couples.
I mean, if you wanted to use, you wanted to masturbate during sex,
would be the idea, or I mean, you can use it in front of your eyes.
The Form 3 is a tonguey one, right?
Yeah, it looks like a tongue kind of reminds you of oral sex,
which is a good one.
It's really cool. Form 3, Jimmy Jane, use coupon code Emily25 at checkout and get a discount.
Yeah.
It's a good one to use for both.
Yeah, you guys all have these toys, right?
Yeah.
I mean, your house is starting to be like, my house, all your toys.
And what happens?
You basically get a, like, push your finger into the vibrating, like the body of the toy and it creates like you get to
find like the spot that you want.
So it kind of feels like you're just massed with your hand, but you actually are using a
vibrator.
And it's very cute.
It's so cute.
So cute.
All their vibrators are amazing.
They're so well made and they're beautiful.
You just leave them out by your bed.
You don't even care if anyone sees it.
You're like, what?
Mine's on my address. And people come in and they're like,
oh yeah, I just want to say anything. You know what I mean? Right, you don't just tell them it's
a vibrator. You can just be like, so I hope we help people here with mutual masterization.
Something to try. Also, if you're having issues, actually like issues, or you just keep
feel like you're not getting what you want in bed, or you feel like you're with a new partner,
and you guys are really get you. For women and men, like you're with a new partner and you guys are like, get you.
For women and men, it's a good way to explore it
and be like, hey, I'm gonna show you what makes you feel good
and you show me what makes you feel good
and then it's a good way to mutually understand each other,
mutual masturbation, mutual understanding.
So when was the first time you guys masturbated?
Tiana Howell-Drio.
This is really embarrassing.
But when I was young, I was weird
because I didn't lose my virginity to like,
I was young, I was weird because I didn't lose my virginity to like, like I was like 18. Okay. I like started really young in playing with myself. Like maybe that's good. A lot of what we did. Yeah, like five or seven
or something. Yeah, like maybe like nine, eight, I don't know. Okay.
It was young. And then when we, when I was little, like the girls in my
neighborhood are like, you know, just people I knew, the girls would be practicing kissing
on each other and things like that,
which was really sounds weird, but they're just curious.
And so I don't know, I just started masturbating
when I was like young.
I don't know if it was an instant masturbating,
but it was definitely playing with myself.
And then as I got older, I started to, you know,
when I knew what felt good, I kind of
experimented more with my body when I started, like,
preteens.
It's good.
14.
OK.
That's good.
I was older.
Kelsey.
I was also older.
I was like 19.
I was 19 or 20.
It didn't even occur to me.
I didn't even know about masturbation.
Yeah.
My friend had to help me out.
She's like, this is what you do with your fingers, Kelsey. I didn't even know about masturbation. Yeah, my friend had to help me out.
She's like, this is what you do with your fingers, Kelsey.
And what she tell you?
Well, I didn't know really, this is just so sad.
I was like a little sad.
A lot of people.
No, a lot of people women are.
How would they know they don't teach you then school?
I was probably like 15.
They should really talk about
they should play this section of the schools across the world
the clitoris the g spot the prostate
that's what they should do in sex i know not like don't have but sex and use
condoms that should not be the only thing they talk about
so your friend talked mind to my friend with semi articles like she's another
college and she would like send me articles and be, you need to read this one orgasm.
Like I literally never occurred to me to masturbate.
Like I didn't know that I could feel good down there.
Yeah, I just had to be told.
I had to be told something like dudes did
or I don't know, it was kind of lame of me.
But my friends were just like, yeah, we've been masturbating
since we were five.
What the hell have you been doing?
They're like laughing at me.
Right.
Well, it's okay. Look at you now, honey the hell have you been doing? They're like laughing at me. Right, well, it's okay.
Look at you now, honey.
Look at you now.
So, okay, I just thought we'd share some at my masturbation.
I didn't know my friends were like,
I'm like, I've never had orgasm.
I was 19, and then I started with sex twice and playing around.
So it's important for masturbation,
and the other thing about masturbation
is that it's really important to masturbate in different ways.
So I know we all get sat in our ways and I'm guilty, but it's important to explore with
your own masturbation, like what makes you feel good?
Are there other parts of your body for women?
Does it feel good to touch your nipples for guys?
Do you try a masturbation?
See, just try to even shake up your own masturbation and your own self-love.
Because masturbation is sex with
so many love.
Yeah.
Right?
Okay, everyone.
That's what we got for you today.
You can follow me on Twitter and Facebook, sex with Emily, and thank you, Tiana and Kelsey.
You guys are gems.
Love you guys.
Thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily.
It was good for you.
Email me.
Feedback at sexwithemely.com.
at sexwithmley.com.