Sex With Emily - SWE: Pornophobia

Episode Date: January 28, 2012

Emily talks about pornophobia- people’s fear and love of porn. Menace watched his first porn at six and understood everything. Emily watched her first porn video at 12 and was turned on, but didn’t know what it was. What porn means about your relationship and the best porn for couples. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I Look into his eyes Then the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that block our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Emily You got a boyfriend because my man E here. He just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute The world's got a standard. Oh my the women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all it? What do you mean like laundry?

It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm so proud. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play good. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information go to sexwithemily.com where you will get all the sex information you need to have the best sex ever. If you become a friend to the benefits member, you get our shows. We're doing three to four shows a week. You get them all. This is our free Friday show. Everyone enjoy.

That's what's going on. Today's show. We are going to be talking about porn, pornophobia. There's a lot of that's been written and talked about porn lately. So many aspects of it, like a lot of men want to know do I have a problem with porn? They hide it from their girlfriends, they hide it from their lovers. Sometimes women have issues with porn, so we're going to discuss all these issues. We're going to give you tips on how to maybe incorporate porn into your relationship and

how to some of the best videos out there. And just all about porn, porn stats, it's really interesting. Even though minus two watch porn, you said you do, you don't. No, I'm not really into porn. Right, that you're like the one guy in the planet. Yeah, because I just wanna actually do the act. I don't need to watch it. Right.

But we're gonna talk about the psychology behind porn, so a lot of people have, like their sexual fantasies, come from like early childhood things that have happened to them, and so we're gonna get into all that, it's really interesting. I did see my first porno when I was, like, six years old. How was that for you? I always talk about this on the show.

The weird thing about it, even at six, I kind of knew what they were doing. I don't know why it was, but I was. Well, that's right, like, it made sense to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I think I saw my first porn like at a, I did when I was like 12, we like, you know, plugged into the, the DVD in or like a VCR or something.

And it was, um, it was hot. I remember watching with my girlfriend when I was 12 and getting turned on, but not really knowing why it was hot to watch porn. Everyone's parents had like one porn DVD like lying around. The best part is when you are a teenager though, trying to watch scrambled porn with your friends. You're like, dude, I think I saw a boob. Right, right, right, exactly.

And then now porn, you know, the proliferation of it, just like everyone's, I mean, it seems like people are watching porn more and more and there's like issues that come up in relationships about it, have you ever had any woman who were like, you watch porn, I'm out of here. No, no, I think it's more, so it's more mainstream now that no one really cares.

I think a lot of women care. I think there's a lot of women. We've heard tons of emails from people who were like, my boyfriend watches porn. Does that mean that he wants me to look like the porn star and act like the porn star or the threaten by it? They're like, our sex life isn't good enough. So is that why you're watching porn? And none of this is true.

So we're going to get into that. I also have to talk with something very, very important. And that is. We are launching on Monday the sex with Emily spread the love Valentine's Day contest. And so we are my entire office. I had to get a new cabinet because we have this new storage cabinet in my office because we have so many toys and so many products coming in. We are giving away thousands of dollars worth of sex,

paraphernalia, toys, DVDs, lotions, creams, everything. Rubber suits. Rubber suits, whatever you want. And so all you got to do is check out our site and you have to, we'll have information on our website about it. But you just got to follow us on Twitter, which is Sex with Emily and Facebook, Sex with Emily. And the more you retweet our posts between February 1st and the 14th, you're entered to

win. So every time you retweet something, you're entered to win. And every time you share something on Facebook, you're entered to win. And we are just giving away amazing stuff. We're giving away prizes from Jimmy Jane. Like they make the most amazing, beautiful sex toys. We've got Anthony's skin care lines, giving stuff for men, and just a ton more. It's going to be exciting.

And we'll list all the sponsors and all the stuff you can win and copies of my book, Cut, Sex, Over Two and Things You Can Try Tonight. And it's Valentine's Day. And then our Valentine's Day shows, like the week's leading up to Valentine's Day, we're going to have lots of great guests on the show, useful tips. If you're single on Valentine's Day, if you're coupled on Valentine's Day, you know, positions different things you can try, it's going to be a Valentine's Day, Schmortus Ward. Cool. I did 10 Valentine's Day ideas already on my site, but you did.

You don't have to go to my site, I'll send it to you. Just think about me. Well, I'm getting so much email, like, I get, like, pitched on all these valentines. So there's a lot to talk about about Valentine's Day. So you you gotta check out and you gotta enter our contest and you gotta follow us on Facebook and Twitter, section of the link. Do that now. Thank you very much. We have a new poll in the site.

What is your G-Spot experience? A, I'm questioning its existence. B, it's an in the blue moon type of occurrence. C, it's work, but worth the effort. And D, I'm questioning its existence. So, oh, that's on the twice. Okay, whatever. There's three of them.

Three choices. Because the G-Spot is this elusive thing, and this is for men and women can answer that. Like have the men ever like try to find the G-Spot on a woman, have women found the G-Spot? That's what we got for you. So what are you up to this weekend? Anything smashing and exciting?

I'm gonna go to Macworld for a little bit. Cool. Here in San Francisco, California, they have, you know, it's basically, I think about maybe, or in San Francisco, California. It's basically a think about maybe over in the Midwest, there's Lala, Paloza, music festival, and here, California and Southern California, they have Coachella, but this is basically the Coachella or Lala, Paloza for the nerds of the Mac loving world. And I'm probably going to go check that out for a little bit and maybe

you see a movie or two love it Okay, I know macro It's me sad that's a first year that Steve Jobs won't be giving the keynote because I went a few years ago and he gave the keynote Yeah, well Mac Mac is kind of Apple has kind of part ways with the whole event and there they just Really? Okay, cuz it used to be like a whole see I was there when he introduced the iPad Which was really exciting. It's cool. It's like in the front row I spoke on a panel and I really would like. Okay, because it used to be like, I was there when he introduced the iPad, which was really exciting. That's cool.

Like in the front row, I spoke on a panel and I really would like to then again, because they gave me like thousands of dollars with a swag. Nice. They gave me a literally a duffel bat on wheels filled with free stuff, max stuff. That's amazing. I know, I have to say, it was like a highlight. It was like awesome. I really loved it.

So this weekend, we are what we're going to be recording show that everyone's going to hear next week on Friday with Candy from Real Housewives of Atlanta. I'm so excited. So excited. And she's got a new sex toy line out called Candy, a bedroom candy. And so we're going to interview her and then we're also going to go to a launch that she's doing for good vibrations. A new good vibration star, which is an amazing sex toy store here in San Francisco. She's doing a launch of their new opening Oakland, so we're all going to go. We're going to shoot some videos up until everyone can check it out on our website. It's going to be fun.

So that is what I'm going to do, and then I'm really getting excited for our Big Party on Tuesday night in my house with all the injuries. You got to write this shit down. I'll be there. You'll be there. You got to be there. If you're not there, it's not really a party. I know. And then what is my. It's not really a party. I know and then

What is my doing at friends birthday party? Yeah, hopefully I have some sex at some point. Don't really know. I took the other day. Here's some news. I'll show with you Took when the interns to Pixar yesterday day here of the show and Facebook I want to I want to tell everybody else Facebook has changed their layouts. So you guys need to check every time that they do that because they will change your settings on. Oh.

And I change my settings always because I don't like people checking me into places. Right. Because once they check you into somewhere, it will share that with everybody on your friends list. Right. I just don't like it. You don't like it. I don't want people to know my bads and what I'm at.

I like to check in when I like to check in. Right. And she checked me in and then all these girls because it says, oh, Lauren has is hanging out with white men at Pixar. And then I got like so much crap from girls like the next day, oh, who's this girl you're hanging out with in blah blah You're like this is why I why did you change your new Facebook setting to the timeline? Is that what happened? Yeah the new the new timeline thing

I know they automatically did it they automatically changed. Oh, I didn't have it been to my Facebook page yet today Yeah, so um so so so you were pissed but this all so all your girls were jealous is what you're saying Yeah, you're with another girl. How many women are you stringing along right now? I would say about 15. Really? No, no, I believe it. I mean, there's... You call me a player because I don't want to put my relationship status on Facebook.

You don't want to be checked in with a girl because all your other girls are going to get upset. True or not true? No, not true because people just make an absentee... Why do I try to say that word I can't do it? Assumptions? Not true. Not true, because people just make it absent. Why do I try to say that we're in a can do it? Assumptions? Yeah, people always think that. They're my starts wondering, oh, who's this girl

he's hanging out with. And I was just in turn that one. They mean more things to do with their time. Exactly. Well, she had an amazing time that was so nice. I think you need to take all the other interns too. I knew once that happened, I was like, oh, here we go. I want to go. Because all the other interns too. I knew once that happened, I was like, oh, here we go.

Because all the other interns started commenting how they want to go now. They do. Now I got to take one by one. Yeah, be fun. You can only bring one person that they bring to. Pixar, amazing. One thing, no, no pressure.

Okay, I won't ask you to go. How's that? And people, you can call and leave it some message at any time at 415-9927-392. We might answer your questions on the air and play your emails. So you got question, play your message. So you can call that up that number 415-9927-392. Leave a message when we will answer. Just as today's show, we're going to be answering the emails that you sent to feedback at sexwithemily.com.

Also in the emails, please tell us how you listen to the show and where you're from. And if you don't want to use a real name, just make up a fake name, whatever. But we like hearing, you know, all I'm from Tennessee and I listen through iTunes or I listen to you. Exactly. We want to know how you listen through Stitcher. Stitcher Radio, where it's Stitcher right now. Yeah, it's Stitcher is an app that you can download for your smartphone.

It's totally free and you can listen to the show via a streaming podcast. Right. But right now, we're on serious exam. Serious Exempts Extreme Talk 165. And not to call you out, and it's not going to upset the serious exam people. But when you tweet, I know you're new to tweeting. You keep on tweeting at satellite radio. That's not their name.

That's two. No, I do both of them. I do satellite radio and then I do extreme talk 165. No, you need to do serious XM and extreme. Okay, so you said satellite radio. Yes, satellite radio. Whatever, okay, thanks for correcting my tweet. But no, I'm so tweeting on that news. Look, I'm not saying that to you, I'm saying to listeners too,

if they want to follow satellite radio, it's satellite XM. Okay, got it. I'm not gonna write that on XM. I'm sorry, now satellite XM. Okay, got it. I'm going to write XM. I'm sorry. Now I'm confused. Whatever, got it. Okay. So also one more thing I just mentioned is that I did mention this briefly, but like if

Valentine's Day is coming up and we are hopefully going to be able to provide you if you win our contest, we're going to have a lot of winners because we have just like so many products to give away. But I just have to mention Jimmy Jane.com because they do make the most beautiful sex product, sex toys, toys for couples. jimmyjane.com, if you use Emily 25 at checkout, you get $25 off your purchases over $100 or more, and they've got this amazing new feature

of the gift wizard, because I think people are kind of scrambling now. And the gift wizard tells you who you have to tell them, who the gift is for, your price range, and the level of naughty versus nice and they help you go shopping. So you check out Jimmy Jane ASAP. And then yeah, yeah, we love Jimmy Jane. Can I talk about Adam Eve? Yeah, Adam and Eve is everywhere. I know. I was checking out another show on Stitcher the other day. And I click on it, and they're broadcasting from the Adam and Eve lounge in Hollywood.

No way, who was? Just some podcast. Some podcast. Yeah, Adam and Eve.com, we're gonna be talking about them in a little bit with porn, because they have some amazing porn DVDs for people. What the hell, Adam and Eve? We want to be at the Adam and Eve lounge.

Okay, I'll email them. I'll email Adam and Eve. I didn't even know that they had a lounge in Hollywood. I just know they sent, you know, their sponsors, but we don't know we didn't even have a lounge. I'm so sorry. We need to be better friends with them. Okay.

Is there doing so much stuff we want to be a part of it? Okay, I got you. We will talk to them about that. Yeah, that's good news. So, they're all over the place and they're all over us. So, we're going to talk about this when we get into porn. Like I said, our show today is about porn. We're gonna get a little bit into, you know,

if you are a guy who watches a lot of porn and your girlfriend has an issue with it, there are DVDs for couples, porn for couples. Yes, there's more of a plot line and it might be more female-friendly, but there's porn that you can watch together and you can get it out of the knee. If you do wanna buy anything at Adam Neve,

you can use coupon code Emily at checkout and you get 50% off most items you get the free Kim Kardashian DVD all this stuff. So we've got some sex in the news. What is going on? Okay this is we're gonna say something. Well I want to share one more quick story. Please go ahead and share a story. We went to the intern that I took to fix our lawn. Lauren's the surname. She's been on the show before. We took her there and watched the Iron Lady. It's about Margaret Thatcher. And I want you to watch the movie because I want to see

what your reaction would be about it. Because I know you don't believe in love. So the whole please menist that is so bad to say that I don't believe in love. I'm all about love But the movie was so cute and cool because it was all about you know this very powerful woman and you know how she And wanted to come up and her husband was like Supportive the entire time and he was funny and cool and was it a of the entire time and he was funny and cool and... Was it a documentary?

No, it was... Fictionized about her life. Yeah, about life. Okay, I want to see it. Can I see it now in theaters? It's called the Iron Lady, yes. Oh yeah, I've heard of it. Okay.

You definitely should see it, because it's kind of a love story and about her life. Okay. I love Margaret Thatcher. Yeah, but it was an amazing woman. It was all about marriage the entire course of marriage. Okay. Yeah, marriage is challenging.

She didn't get to force. Good. She's a strong, powerful woman who did not leave her husband. Yeah. But he was powerful too, probably, right? No, he was a... And his theory is that a woman gets powerful and dumps her person. I'm talking about in Hollywood, which is this was...

Oh, okay, exactly. It's not Hollywood, you're right. I will check it out. What is it, Iron Lady? Yeah. Okay. You should have be right. I will check it out. What is it, iron lady? Yeah. Okay, you should have taken me. I know. Okay, this is our sex in the news.

Miley Cyrus loves a big cake. Miley Cyrus celebrated her boyfriend Liam's birthday last night by getting personal with his birthday cake that was in the shape that would make most men feel inadequate. Apparently it was a large penis. The massive phallic cake was rolled out Saturday night at Club Icon in downtown LA, and the 19-year-old Miley quickly went in for a long photo op of her and sexually compromising poses.

Now, what is she doing? You can see these pictures of her online, of her like her mouth, a gap, like right by the cake, like she's about to eat this big, pain-shape cake. She's 19. She's 19, she's legal. She can do that if she wants to. Doing stuff that's just like, she's trying to protect her image and all this stuff and then there's like, on her birthday, she got a Bob Marley cake.

Did you remember this? She got a Bob Marley cake and she's like, you know, you're a stoner when your friends buy you Bob Marley cake and then she's usually kidding. But I wonder if she's a stoner who likes large penises. I'm not sure. We'll see. Well, two questions.

One, why is she getting her boyfriend a penis cake? That's kind of a bachelorette party thing. And then- That's bizarre. I didn't even think about that. Yeah, that's kind of odd. Look, guys don't want to look at other penises and let's just throw out.

I don't want a penis cake. Get me a vulva cake. I'll get you a vulva cake. I'll get you a big fat vagina cake. Yeah, that's what I want. Yeah, exactly. Dude, that is bizarre. Because I feel like men have a version, have a version to penises that are not their own.

They don't want to see them. They don't want to look at them. They don't want to be watch porn. You want to hear about them? You don't want to hear about the guy dated with the large slong. Like, you don't want to hear it. So that is bizarre.

Yeah. Okay, that's bizarre in many levels. And then I didn't even get to see the cake because it was blurred out on tmc dot com which i the pia's case was surprising to me that is surprising yeah then know that okay we saw it we saw it in shater mouth gate and you know around the pnk okay christian cavalier's pregnancy was an accident which is not a surprise if you

were surprised to hear that the hill star christian cavalier is pregnant with j colors baby you're not the only one the couple was shocked by the news. Oh my God, I got pregnant by a millionaire. My life is ruined. It's a millionaire. Yeah, he's a pro football player. Oh, right, right. Jane Kristen announced they were with child following crazy

few months where they broke up their engagement only to announce it was back on. So it's obvious what is she like 25? Did she got pregnant and they just got back together five minutes ago? Mm-hmm. Not a surprise. That it was a surprise, but it was an accident. But they're going to go for it, which I think is a mistake.

First of all, let me tell you why on many levels. Because they broke up, they got back together, they broke up, they got back together, they get back together, she gets pregnant. Oh my God, this is going to save our marriage. Big mistake. Anyone who has a baby, it's going to save our relationship. So anybody who has a baby thinking that it's going to save their relationship, not a good idea. That's not going to save it. I mean, it is a good retirement plan for her. That's true. He's a millionaire. Yeah, that's

true. That's a good point. Didn't think about that either. Okay. Jimmy fell in claims. He's into female domination at work. He's likes being bossed around by women and tries to surround himself with an all female stage crew. That's the claim of a fired staffer who's suing him, Jimmy, an NBC universal for discrimination. The employee accuses Fallon of gender bias and says he wasn't the only victim. Other male staffers, staffers claim they were placed by less qualified women. The employee says Jimmy's director told him, Jimmy just prefers to take directions from a woman. How do you feel about that? I think that's true.

I think there's a lot of men like that, but a lot of men, a lot of men actually, there are men like that, but I think typically men don't like taking direction from other women. Because it makes them feel inferior. Yeah, I mean, mostly all the staff that I work with is 90% women.

Yeah, so you take a lot of them. Yeah, you take a lot of. Yeah, like all my interns will be women. Do they dominate you? Is it hot? No, they don't dominate. They listen, and they're more detail oriented. Then men, yeah, that's true. And I evolve women in our office,

but we interviewed a new male intern today that we might hire. We were thinking about that. We get some more testosterone around the office. Why, I'm not enough. Jail, you're not enough because you're not in our office every day. OK. OK, Stephen Tyler promised me I'd go to Hollywood.

The scantily clad girl who got booted from American Isle is pissed at Stephen Tyler. She claims he approved a first skimpy album before audition saying, damn, you already won the thing. Jennifer Dealy was dismissed Sunday night after attempting two songs, and she tells us she was thrown off because she hadn't rehearsed either song and was forced by producers to pick from a list of flirty songs. She's mostly ticked at Stephen, though.

She says he loved her barely there tube-tap and booty shorts, ten minutes before she's sang, but then sat silently and ridiculed her for it. So he was like, hey, baby, you look hot. You basically won. And then he was like, that, I can't look hot, you basically won, and then he was like, that I can't believe you wore that scantily clad outfit. That pissed me off. The producers were probably telling them what to say.

Exactly, they always do that, just that kind of show, right? I've never got into American Idol. Me neither. No, whether or not. No, I can't sit through all that stuff. No, me neither, and I don't really care. Yeah, it's a bunch of people I don't care about. Exactly. Are you watching TV this weekend anything coming up?

I don't know if it's a season finale of the Kardashians or I got to check. I thought I was just starting again. Chloe and no, Chloe in the Mar is coming up. And I love co-co. I love co-co is coming up too. I just got an email, they want me to do commercials for it. Oh really? Oh that's so cool. What is I love's coco? It's Iced tea, his wife. Okay.

And it's entertaining. Everyone's got a brand new reality show. But I love Chloe and Lamar. Yeah, she just got a radio show in Dallas. Oh, it's in Dallas? Yeah, she moves Dallas. So she had one of mine. Right, right, right, I remember that. Yeah, she, got a radio show in Dallas. Oh, it's in Dallas. Yeah, she moved Dallas. So she I wanted my right. I remember that. Yeah, she even knew that. She I think her and Scott the the boyfriend of the other sister. Right. Kind of make the show. Who does Chloe in the in Scott.

Chloe Scott. I mean, he's come around. He was just a tool earlier. Yeah, everyone hated Scott, but then he stopped drinking. Not that. I mean, Chris came in. Chris Humphries came in and then he just became the... He used to stop. Yeah, everyone took their focus off, Scott, and then just like... And you actually liked Scott now.

You think he's an interesting character. Yeah, I don't think I ever like Disliked him. I think he is definitely American psycho When have you ever seen the movie? Yeah, I apparently what I've heard second hand that that's his Idol is the American Psycho. Oh my god. Yeah, that's too much information That's not good. But he was kind of like not great with her on the show early on. He was kind of a jerk when we were the family.

And like, I made him a job. Yeah, but I don't think his tone has changed at all. I think he's definitely learned that he can't act up, but I don't think. I think he stopped drinking. I think he's an A and he stopped drinking. That's what I know. No, no, they show him drinking and partying on the show.

Really? I don't think he's been drinking like that. Okay, whatever. I don't think he doesn drinking. I think he's an a and he stopped drinking. That's right. No, no They show them drinking and party on the show really I think he's been drinking like okay, whatever I don't drink as much and he doesn't drink around His lady good so good alcohol. He was they showed him wasted in Toronto with Chris Humphries Oh, and he was like going through the like the basement of some club and he like peed in trash can Oh, that's something that I would do to do. That's honey, that's something that you've done. And when you got, when you peed in the phone booth at Disneyland, I love that story. Okay. And going back to you, everybody at the end of February.

And in February, I'll be there. Cool. Should we get into some emails? What do you think? Yeah, when you're peeing on. Because we love the people. So everyone, you can email us feedback at sexwithemily.com And you can also just go to the askembley on sex with emily.com and we'll answer your questions. Yes. I do have a piece of news today

I was giving to me. I like looking up today in history So two things today in history. That's good. I like this Rockefeller device president that was the vice president he died while having sex with his uh... research assistant seriously like twenty his twenty five-year-old research what when was this like this is was in like the sixty right right okay and he uh... he died during that oh my god that would have been huge scandal

yeah and then uh... the other news story that have but it's not sexually related Yeah, and then the other news story that I have, but it's not sexually related. A town in Japan was attacked by monkeys and 26 people were injured in 1998. Really? Yeah, just dumb facts. That's dumb facts. Didn't know that. That's good to know, okay? But big ups of Rockefeller for going out with a blazer.

Who isn't banging their assistant? I mean, seriously, how many legislators banging their assistants? Yeah. So many of them. They call their like the, the Makalewinsky of her time. And then it led me to read up on Makalewinsky, who's looking pretty hot lately. Is she?

She lose a lot of weight or something? Yeah, she looks, yeah, they got some like hot photos of her online stuff. What's she doing? She's still living off those clings. No, she's married and has a kid. Oh, okay. I always wonder what happened to her.

Good to know. Okay, dear Emily, love the show, and I've been a kid. Oh, okay. I always wonder what happened to her. Good to know. Okay, dear Emily, love the show, and I've been in the list for three years now. I'm getting married in a couple of weeks to my wonderful fiance, but sadly, our sex life has nearly died. This is the reason I subscribed to your show, but despite all the great advice,

nothing has taken with her. We've been together nine years, and the only thing I change of our relationship is our sex life. We have sex maybe once a month. Neither of us are on any medications. We don't have children and we both work jobs that aren't too demanding. We've discussed this that length many times with each other because as you say communication is a lubrication. The discussions have been have been non-blame, non-confrontational and totally open-minded. A few years ago we had to spend 18 months in a long-distance relationship and never

saw each other once. We both remained faithful for that entire time we were apart. My fiance thinks that she learned to live without sex for that time, and since that, she just hasn't had the same libido. We tried the 30-day sex challenge, but this only lasted 9 days before she lost interest. She isn't keen on sex toys or porn, so I need some advice, please. How can I reignite the spark?

Keep up the great work, Kirin and New Zealand. Okay, this is a heavy one, because I'm like, everything I was thinking, I'm like, well, she on meds, she's like, she's not a med, she's not whatever, she got a low libido. I would say the first thing is that she should still get checked out by it after. You never know what is going on with her, because if she has a low libido, I would say the first thing is that she should still get checked out by a doctor. You never know what is going on with her because if she has a low libido, it could be a lot of things. Maybe she is more stressed than she realises, she could have

something other, you know, hormones or there could be something going on there. So I would say, because it's just a normal that she can't live without its x-ray two months. Some people feel that way and that might be a psychological thing that she's decided, but I just still think, get checked out by a doctor. And the 30-day sex challenge he's referring to is what I always tell couples to do is to, if your sex life is not so great right now and you're thinking I'd like to spice it up

or I'd like to kickstart it back into action again, I recommend that couples have sex every single day for 30 days, no matter what. And it can be for play one of the times, it doesn't have to be like intercourse. But what this does is it gets you guys, it gets you guys connecting again at an intimate level and it can really heighten your sex life.

And you realize that like you, you're like, oh, I'm so tired, I don't wanna sex. But you start doing it because you have to do it. You're like, it's Wednesday, we have to have sex and I it's on our schedule. And once you start doing it, you become more into it again and then it starts to become part of your habit and you're routine again and you like get it back, it's like going to the gym. So like the first a few times, like go back to the gym, I'm

like, oh, hey, this is hard. And like, for day four, you're like, oh, I'm into it. I'm into it. I look forward to going to the gym. So then you're going to start like four to sex, but this didn't work for them either. So I have to and she doesn't like it. So I want to know, what was sex, like how is she orgasmic? Does she ever take pleasure from sex? Does she masturbate on her own? I'd like to know that. And I would say that for women, maybe she needs to feel more romance

and passion without intercourse first. So make her feel sexy without being obvious. Like you could do things for her that might give her massages. I mean, I don't know what she needs, but if you say that you guys are having straightforward discussions, are you talking about fantasies? Does she have any sexual fantasies that turn her on? Maybe there are things that you could do in the bedroom that would excite her. You know, again, romanticizing, you know, to do romantic things for her.

Valentine's Day is coming up, but it sounds to me, again, the most important thing is this low libido and she doesn't think she needs sex anymore. So I would say, go to a doctor or you can also go to, she should just get a check-up by a physical, but also go to a, you can always go to sex therapist. Like seriously sex therapists are amazing. They can sit and talk to you about what's going on. They can see her individually. They can see you as a couple.

I'm sure there's some, you can find one in New Zealand. In fact, I actually know one in New Zealand that I can recommend to you. It's a great thing to do. You'll have to go a few times to sign a major commitment. So that's my thing. Also, it's nothing that have bottled the killer can't fix. You know what I'm saying? It might not be drinkers.

This cracket open. See what happens. Menace's response for everything. Elba. What? It's not necessarily maybe they're not drinkers. I'm concerned that she says that she wants to live without socks. And they've been together nine years.

She doesn't have sex and she doesn't drink then you shouldn't hang out together. Dump her. I think the sex, because this is my problem. When couples are like, everything's great, everything's amazing. We like this. We like that, but our sex life sucks. It's like that is not something to put on the back burner because when couples are not connecting sexually,

they're not, they're gonna start not connecting in other ways. So right now, it's just like, oh, we don't have sex but everything's great. It's gonna permeate your relationship if you are not like swapping fluids, exchanging hormones. Like, I mean, your hormones aren't raging, you're not having these intimate moments.

It's gonna be a problem. No flage helix on. So I would get married. Yeah, he's not getting flaky though. Yeah. He doesn't sound like it. Doesn't sound like it at all. So I'm a little concerned, Karen. I wouldn't rush into this marriage until you work on

the sex thing. Don't downplay it. Yeah. It's a big deal. I said, launch with a friend yesterday who actually is having the same exact issue with her boyfriend though. He is a low libido. He doesn't want to have sex. He hasn't have her had great sex. He says he doesn't really think about sex. He never masturbates. But everything else is great. And they live together. And she's like, but I don't want to have sex. He hasn't ever had great sex. He says he doesn't really think about sex He never masturbates But everything else is great and they live together and she's like, but I don't want to do and she's really kinky and wild and she keeps trying all these things And then she she talks to her friends and then her friends say, oh, he must be cheating on you

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, they're like a super great couple that I adore and that's this is their only issue So I actually recommended a really good sex therapist for them to go talk to because she's tried to bring in porn. She's tried to do all these things. And it's usually with men. You don't hear that. I mean, it happens with men and women. So she said, he got checked out and the doctor gave them some testosterone cream to rub on every morning

and then that's supposed to help. But then I said, if the other things are just like go see sex therapists if the other things don't improve. So it is a big deal. You got to take care of it. Because she was like, oh, it's okay. And I'm like, what sex therapists if the other things don't improve. So it is a big deal. You gotta take care of it. Cause she was like, oh, it's okay. And I'm like, that's, but she knew it really wasn't. And you gotta eat the peach.

Which, my friends sent me a G chat today before the show. He was listening. He works at a.com big shout out to heartsy. It's basically group on for Etsy. Okay. And he's like you got to eat the peach I'm like what the hell are you talking about and he was listening to the sex of Emily's okay, and I'm basically, you know talking about oral sex Yeah, I gotta go down on lady like it's like it's a peach I don't mind getting the juice all over your face and it drips on your face and you get your mouth in there

Like it's a peach you eat it like a peach and then I sent a, did you chat back in the go? Yeah, but about for 30 seconds. And you call it a day. Yeah, 30 seconds. Don't even bother for 30 seconds. Seriously, most women, it takes between 10 and 12 months for orgasms. And hour and a half would be nice, but even you need definitely 15 minutes. I think 15 minutes is like the between 10 and 15 minutes is the minimum. Five minutes don't waste my time. Because it takes us a while to get warmed up. You know this, menace.

Okay, hey, Emily, I was wondering if you've ever done a show on sex and astrology. I'm a Scorpio woman, and my sex life definitely represents that. What are you in menaceous signs, Michelle, from Baltimore? We had years ago we did a show on sex and astrology. We haven't done one lately. We could do one on that. And there's so much out there about like different signs.

And actually, Scorpios are supposed to be the most sexual sign. So when she says her sex life definitely represents it, that means that she's probably super sexual. So what's your sign? I am a Scorpio. Oh my God. That's such a shock because you don't seem to be that crazy sex person. On the download.

Are you a Scorpio on the, you won the Cusp? Yeah, kind of. Yeah, the first week, October 28th. Oh, okay. I don't, man, this is so confusing. What are you? I'm shocked that you're a Scorpio. I don't even know that I can't believe it.

I'm very loyal. This is what I am. Yeah, but yours has to be sex craze and you're not. I am, but you just, I'm just not sex craze like you are where I'm going to orgy parties and I'm like, I don't go to orgy parties all the time. I just get invited to them. I'm a Gemini.

Okay. And I don't know what that means. I actually haven't looked into what it means for me sexually that much, but I know what it means to be a Gemini. It means that we are little flighty and flirty. And we know a lot about, we know a lot about a lot of different things. And we're very very social creatures and we have very short attention spans so we constantly need to

bring a lot of stuff into our environment to stimulate us. Expand you to the teeth. Yeah think I'm a Gemini and we're the you know the twins, the twin signs like dual personalities. What are you supposed to be with? Because I heard I'm supposed to be with the cancer. Oh, that's like July. Yeah, see, I love books like this. There's actually a book that I used to always read called Sex, we read it in college, it was like the love signs or something and it's called love signs. And you could look up every, it's like a Bible

and you could look up the compatibility of you and it would be like Cancer Man, Cancer Woman and it would say who you should be with. But even if you were just dating a cancer, you could flip through like cancers really can bad and what cancers and Gemin eyes are like together. I love that. I still have it.

I should bring it in. But did you find out who you're supposed to be with? No, I can't remember now. I can't remember. I don't think that it was this book I had wasn't like, maybe it did mention in the back, like you would be more compatible with, but I don't really believe that stuff.

I liked when it talked about Gemini woman and cancer man, Gemini and Scorpio, Gemini and it does it for every sign. And you're like, oh, that's interesting. And then I used to always religiously read the book when I was dating Guy and be like, oh, he really is like that, or is like that. But anyway, we haven't done it lately and we could. I know a lot of sex astrologists we can have on the show.

Do you think that it's real? You know, I think some of it is real. I think I've had like my charts done and you could always find some true I mean, I don't believe your daily horoscopes are definitely like real like every Gemini and I are gonna have the same kind of day Like I don't believe that but I do believe that there is some truth to the day you're born and the time You're born and where the planets were and all that stuff I mean I have a lot of we live in northern California Hey, so I kind of feel like I do believe in some of it, but I don't really follow that much.

I definitely, it's more for entertainment. I believe that it can affect because, you know, the gravitational pull from the moon affects the waves and our bodies are made of water. And I do believe, you know, people can go crazy when there's a full moon. That's true. The moon was like, super, did you see? Yeah, the moon last night. It was like a sliver.

It was like super close though. Yeah, it was. You're right. I was thinking that. I felt like I can reach out and touch it. You know? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I do believe in some of it,

but I don't study enough to be like, yes, yes, yes, but I like it. I find it fascinating. I do. And I wish, I think we are looking for the answers. So it's just like another avenue to be like, oh, yeah, this is why I am the way I am. We all want to understand ourselves better, I think.

I, yeah, I don't know. It's funny because like, you could lie to somebody and say, oh, you're, you're this, and then read off all the traits and they're like, oh yeah, I am like that, you know, I don't know. I think people look to see that. Right, they want to be like to find and understand who they are, I get it.

Actually, yes or last night, when I was driving to the moon, when I was driving to the moon, I saw the moon, I had a really great dinner last night, a work dinner with about this new, I just want to mention it real quickly, like this new product line that I'm working on, which is going to launch in the summer,

but it's some going to be some cool stuff that I'm launching. Peniscreen, ball, ball, ball. Well, one of the things is going to be for men's balls. So men's balls, that's what I got. No, I know, I can't believe you said that because it's true. So there's like this ball stuff that can make like, it's like, talc that like helps meant, like I guess your balls get kind of sweaty or uncomfortable.

I don't have balls, so I don't know. It does happen. But it's this lotion, it's really cool lotion. We're making a massage. I'm working with Anthony's logistics for men. And it's a great skin care line. And we're gonna do a massage candle, a lube. Because I believe that lubricant is so important

for sex that you need to have lube on your nightstand. And that lube is not when you're dry and not when there's a problem that you should always use lube. Because it enhances the experience for women and for men, I think. Do you like, do you use lube? It depends on the girl I'm with. Because there's Lube girls and then there's not Lube girls. I think everyone is a Lube girl if they knew it.

Anyway, I'm worried you talk about it. You're doing a ball thing though, Rook. Because I did come up with a term for that. It's called SPS. What's that? Sweaty ball syndrome. Really? Yeah.

Guys get sweaty balls. I know, and I'm going to create a cream that is going to change Sweaty ball syndrome. Really? Yeah. Guys get sweaty balls. I know, and I'm going to create a cream that is going to change your sweaty ball life. Yeah. And a little tip, fellas, if you trim the hair down there, your penis looks better. Bigger. A bear. Yeah, I think we got all got that.

How's that going for you? No, it's true. It doesn't look bigger. You even trimmed. I need to make it look like you grew. Yeah, you should do that. Okay, we've got another email here. Emily, was just wondering, what is your take on age gaps in relationships and how much

of a gap might be too much? Thanks, Liz. She's a premium friend with benefits member. You know, if you want to be a friend with benefits member, just real quick, you can go to our website, sign up. We will answer your emails first. You get a lot of perks and benefits. You get three shows, three to four shows a week,

and we support the show, so we appreciate that. So she's a premium member, she wants to know what age gaps in relationships. Okay, I think that age gaps in some relationships work, some don't, like I hate to say there's some blanket statement, but I'd say like, what do I think is too much? I mean, I wish she gave me an example here of what she's dealing with,

because obviously she's in it, but I would say 10 years is okay. Split between men and women but like once you get over 10, like like 12 years or 15 years or 16 years I think that can be that can that can be too much maybe you're like in different decades. Yeah, like in different Yeah, you like grew up in different what's not decades? But you know what I mean? Like you've different time periods. I'm periods. No, but like you're like different social. You just like, yeah, you're like. This language different. Yeah. Everything is different.

But I just think it's a huge challenge. Like a woman dating a younger man. Like I know my friend was doing that for a while. She was dating guy 16 years younger. And she was like, I know I'm hot now. But like, whenever, you know, she was like 35. And he was like 24, 11 years, 24. She's like,

then I'm gonna be like 50 and he's only gonna be like 38. And then what's gonna happen, so it's like, I do think that it's challenging because of the age, because of different points in life, when you're in your 20s, it's like a very specific time when you're still exploring. I mean, so why I think people shouldn't get married under the age of 30s, because in your 20s,

you're exploring, you're learning, you're trying to figure out who you are. Like, it's hard to be with a, if you were someone older who's already established, I just think that would be harder to be with someone like that. That's why I don't date anybody older than me. Really? Yeah, because they're established.

And I don't know. There, there, no matter how many times you tell me it's not true, a large majority of them is like, they're ready to get locked down and do serious, grown up things. And you're telling us not true, a large majority of them, it's like, they're ready to get locked down and do serious, grown up things. And you're not there yet. I'm not there. So I usually date something that's like

three or four years younger than me. Yeah, that sounds good. Yeah. I've dated all ages. Usually older, but I've been seeing someone who's a little younger, but usually I date older on my age. But it's funny, because my friend, I was with her that other day, and she's got a daughter who's 22,

who's about to marry a 40-year-old. And she proves she's like, my daughter's really mature, he's a doctor, whatever, she's really happy for them. He's a doctor. I don't know, but to me, I'm like really, that would concern me. That just seems like a huge friggin' age gap, 20-year-old was 20 years.

I don't know how that's gonna go down. He's a doctor. He's a doctor, you should like him. I mean, he's a Jewish doctor. I don't know if he's a Jewish doctor, but. All perv. Exactly. Okay, we can move on to our topic. And our topic, again, is. Pornofobia. Pornofobia. Yeah, that's because we like it. This was actually, there was an article, a really interesting article that Stanley Siegel wrote about about, called Curing Pornophobia on In Psychology Today. We're going to post this all on our website, but we were reading this article and there's a bunch of stuff that

comes out that always comes up around porn. And like I said, at the beginning, some of the questions are, do I watch it too much? You know, a lot of men hide it, women disapprove of it, or maybe they do it as a separate thing, and I think it could really bring it into, be a couple of experience, you know, you guys could do it together. I mean, I have to say, when I was in my 20s, and I didn't understand that,

when I was dating someone, I was like 22, and he watched porn. I was one of those women who I did feel threatened. I did feel like, does he want me to have fake, no, fake boobs and big blonde hair, like does he want me to have fake Blunt, no fake boobs and big blonde hair and does he want me to do all these things like it's confusing It's a confusing message because you're like this is what he's watching and then he has sex with me And I'm not doing that and I think that's why porn can also mess up our culture in some ways because a lot of people learn How to have sex through porn and lots of times what we see in through porn and lots of times what we see in porn is not necessarily what is going to work for a woman or a guy. It just looks good visually, but just that

movement that you're seeing and camera doesn't translate into the bedroom. It was shot just for cinematic purposes. So I think porn can also send some messages to people like if that's how you learn about sex, then necessarily how you can have sex. So as often as porn is suppressed in band, it was never held down long because it's still one of the biggest parts of the internet. As we know, sex has been why the internet has like proliferated and all technology.

I think everything, everything. Everything goes back to sex. You can think of any type of medium. Porn is involved. Exactly. So pornography time statistics. So I've got some interesting stats here about porn. Every second, $3,000 is spent on pornography. $3,076.

Every second. Every second, 28,000 internet users are viewing pornography. Every second. Every second, 37000 internet users are viewing pornography every second. Every second 372 internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines. Oh, I can tell you that. Every 39 minutes a new pornographic video is being created in the United States. This is all US stats. So pornography is more popular than you might think. Nearly 80% 87% of men and 76% of women

reportedly visit adult entertainment sites. And I think that's true. I think that women are watching porn. Do you know a lot of your female friends watch porn? I know a couple that are into it. But yeah, can I tell you something real quick about that? Yeah, tell me something. I did this blog post about, it was top 10 porn stars that

Gone Hollywood so they trans transition from doing porn to Motion pictures and television and I have Three because of that one blog post. I have three thousand visitors to my blog every day Because of that one post because of that one post. Because of that one post. How do you know that's why? Because I can see the Google search terms. And it tells me how many people visited that blog. Wow.

3000 a day. That's crazy. It's crazy. Yeah. Oh my god. And then in the past year, I did, in that year that I did all those, I did 800 blog posts and that one is just like,

just crazy. That's crazy. Well, it's true because everyone's looking for, so there's pornographic pages, overall on the internet, 420 million pornographic pages. And that's 12% of the total websites are pornographic. That's a lot. 12% of the internet?

12% of the internet is porn. So this is important to talk about. So why is it in sex with Emily.com? Important site. Exactly. Do you know that all my friends when I started, they're like, just get naked and put some pictures of yourself on your site.

I'm trying to make a living doing sex with Emily and I'm not getting naked on the website. But all my friends. Get out of people naked. That's what you do. Who should I get naked? My interns, my who? Why what?

No, you can buy stock footage. Just put up some naked pictures. That's not the direction. We are educational, we are informative, we are approving people's sex lives and not through sex and family after hours. There's 420 million pages of so I don't know, I don't think we need more.

So the top worldwide search for the keyword sex on Google, number one comes from Pakistan. Okay. Because it's so repressed there. I just got an email from someone in Pakistan today who said, I can't access your website, it is blocked. So. MLAIMORUS.COM.

It's true. If you want to listen to the show at work, it just do MLAIMORUS.COM instead of sex with MLAIM. Like the code. Like the code, more so the code. Number two, country is Vietnam. Number three is India for Egypt, five Morocco, six Indonesia, seven Malaysia, eight Turkey,

nine Poland, ten Philippines. So we're not even on the list. It's weird. I know, you think we would be. But Pakistan, you know, they're repressed, you know. Okay. It's a tiny country compared to all the other ones. I know, I know, but they have no,

they're not allowed, you know, all the other ones. I know. I know, but they can't they have no they're not allowed You know, you know all the repression that goes on there with women and sex like your only sorts of sex to pro create Yeah, I'm surprised they're not afraid that the government's like looking at their computer typing it in I know well the thing is they're probably typing in nothing's coming up because everything's blocked So they're probably like fiercely trying to get it for me. How sad they can't get any of these foreign and 20 million pages Okay, the worldwide pornography revenues in China, it's 28 billion, South Korea, 26 billion, Japan, 20 billion, and US 13 billion. So we are less than the revenue spent in it, is less than Japan, South Korea, and China. Why are we not in the porn business is what I'm trying

to say right now? I don't know why we're not in the porn business. I'm in the sex business But I'm not making as much money as these friggin porn sites, but I'm working on it. Okay, so that's just some interesting facts I thought you'd like to know about porn. Facts hurt my feelings. Why? Because we're not watching enough porn in the United States of America. No, that we're not making enough money off a porn United States America. It seems like this is where we shoot most of it. No, that we're not making enough money off a porn United States America. It seems like this is where we shoot most of it. I know, it's true. Totally.

At least maybe that's ignorant. Ignorant. God. How you doing today, baby? Tired. I know. Tired day. I was up late last night.

I'm not feeling very well. You were played again last night? Yeah. Why? I had to pick up all my freaking co-workers. They all went off to Hawaii. Why? You doesn't your company pay for cabs What do you mean? Oh, it's my is there my friends. I've been friends with them forever

They will ask me to come pick them up there and what time did you pick about that? Yeah, bad friend I'd rather give you 30 bucks for cab Wow, I mean unless like what if you said that to me if you said that I'm not gonna call you back again What sure what time were they flying in what time were they flying in no honey. I'd pick you up They're flying in It was like 850 and then they're they're delayed until like 950 you got a loop and loop and they yell at you to move I hate that yeah, okay, so why she might not like porn so we're talking about this earlier

Why when women watch porn they don't always see it in the same way as men they want to know is that what you want for me do you wish that i look like that um... she likes to leave feels like she has to perform like a porn star like i think a lot of younger girl like if you watch these sex tapes these girls like i think everyone thinks they have to like be like a porn star these concerns are along the same lines as men thinking like is my penis big enough and all that stuff women are like feel inferior because inferior because men are watching porn. There's nothing wrong with women performing porn stars. What's wrong with that?

You're talking like it's a bad thing. It's not a bad thing, but the thing is, it's not bad, but they're thinking that they have to do. Some of this stuff is just for visual, or like they should be doubly penetrated, or having a little sex right away, or whatever, because that's what they're seeing and porn and thinking that's what they want,

what they're going to want. So I just think it's something that you guys need to talk about and realize that men watch porn for a lot of different reasons. And it's not to replace their girlfriend usually, typically, right? No, never. I don't think that, I don't, the replace their girlfriend, the guy's just like watching it. They're not gonna do it just separate thing. It's like going to the gym for them Like they got to just do it. So okay, how do you introduce porn into your relationship? Now some guys might be thinking like I don't want to just point it out. It's my own thing

But it can be you can still have it be your own thing and you can still go on the basement and serve whatever porn sites You you want to, but also you could try to make it a couple thing and like, scatter into it. So first, discover her feelings about it. So talk to her and be like, how do you feel about porn? Have you ever seen porn? Do you like it?

What turned you on? And then you can find out if it's a good idea. So if she's like, yeah, I've seen it, I kind of like it. But some of it's kind of gross. You can find out what she likes. So talk. So if she's like, yeah, I've seen it, I kind of like it, but some of it's kind of gross, you can find out what she likes. So talk it out. Has she watched it? What did she like?

Was there any situation that I really like growing girl? Like a lot of women like growing girl action. So, you know, or they like more plot lines. So you could talk to them and say, you know, you have to be ready for the idea that she might be in something too that you're not into. But there's ways to find. So for some, for watching porn together,

and this is where we're going to talk about our favorite Adam and Eve again, porn for couples. If you go to the website, adamneave.com, they've got a whole section, and they literally have like thousands of DVDs. But there are porn that are specially made for couples. And if you go to adamneave.com, use coupon code Emily at checkout. You get 50% off most items, a free DVD, free gift, the Kim Kardashian, sex, DVD, and free shipping. Which is amazing.

So some porn for couples is like Commissutra, intimate encounters, 101 positions for lovers, Candida Royals, FEM, there's a lot of popular movies. And they say that couple sex movies are usually adult movies with a strong plot line because women like the plots are an educational theme though you do find occasional homegrown styles with amateurs in the mix. You could also do how-to videos.

Adam and Eve has a bunch of how-to videos so you can like watch with your partner like how to become better at bondage, how to become better at oral sex, female ejaculation. You could watch a DVD and you could learn how to make your partner ejaculate. So these are all cool things that you could do to enhance your sex life together. So make sure that if you are bringing important relationships that you do it together, that you're like, let's go shopping online together

or go to a local store or whatever works for you. Visit a sex shop together, I don't know where you live, but most towns got sex shop. It was so funny, this other radio show that he used to do, we would have a movie reviewer in every Friday, and she was really into classical movies, like anything that's like Oscar worthy. That's what she liked.

But one time, we forced her to watch the most expensive porn ever made, and it had a budget of $1 million, and it was called Pirates. So look that up. And check it out. I actually want to watch it to see how good the quality of the movie is.

But when was it made? It was made in 2005. It's called Pirates. It was the most expensive one ever made. I wonder if there's a million dollars expensive. $1 million is expensive. Okay. Well, they have a, yeah, they have a top 10 list

of 10 most expensive porn movies. So you can find that out on the Google on the Google. So making it, you should, this like, so this whole experience of like doing it together, like make it fun, make it playful, like you don't have to watch the home movie, but just like make sure that you find something that you're both into. And if you are dude and you're going to pick out the porn, like make sure you don't start with your crazy, crazy fantasy, like she doesn't even know all the weird stuff that you're into right away.

Yeah, like, make it more benign. Stepping on Lops, there's barefoot and stuff like that. Exactly. People do that, believe me. They do. They heard about it. What, I'm porn, they step on Lops, they're different. Yeah, you know, because people have that fetish

of like stepping on stuff because of the sound, like barefoot, you hear about that? No. It's sorry if you're into it, but I think it's disgusting. But there's, yeah, there's like videos that just like bare feet, a woman's feet like stepping on things. They're called, I think they're called like smash videos. Are these guys with foot fetishes?

Yeah, but it's a special type of foot fetish where they step on things and like the sound like get some horny like stepping on on the t-shirts and stuff. If you could add a name, you can see that they have about 70 different categories of porn, like anal, double D, whatever, like a million of them. So yeah, crazy. Okay, pornography, but here's the thing about porn, which I think people don't understand,

and this is gonna get a little heady hair for you, but for everyone. But I'm going to explain this, that pornography speaks to a deeper part of us. So the reason why we're attracted to certain kinds of porn, this is from psychology today, it says that our private fantasies during sex are often more exciting than we are actually physically, of what you're actually physically doing. So do you fantasize during sex? Sometimes. And sometimes that's what gets you over, brings you to orgasm.

Self-style pornography is constantly running in our head. So when we're having sex, we focus on the images, the thoughts, or stories for our imagination that truly arouses us, especially when our true desires are not aligned with the experience at hand. So you could be having vanilla sex with some girl, but in your mind, you're thinking about a gang bang or you're thinking about, I don't know what you think about it, it's God knows, some woman point to kill it on your throat. I don't know. Remember I always tell you, I think about past sexual experiences.

Right. Right. Right. Because that's real. And that's not what's happening right now. So a dirty little secret is that our hidden fantasies are what makes us climax. So it's the things in our mind that we're not sharing with our partner at that time is what makes us climax.

And the reason why we do this, like the reason why, if you want to understand the psychology behind it, is because pornography speaks to the deepest level of sexuality in all of us. Studies say that at some point during the heightened sexuality of adolescence, we unconsciously eroticizer on met needs or unresolved conflicts. And these take us into adult let's let me tell you this means. For example, let's say you're a dude and you have a fetish for women with red hair. It could be because you had a wicked stepmother who was abusive toward you when you were 9 years old and some way that you could make peace with this is to eroticize women with red hair.

And so you always have to be with a red head. And until you figure out what those things are for you, you could either overcome this if it's become a problem in your life, or you can just understand your sexual desires and where they come from. Do you have anything weird that you're in? That you're in, that you're in that you're in too? I like women of black hair. Yeah, you always like brown, brunette was your first love of black hair.

Not brunette black hair. Like dark black hair. Right. That's a brunette, kind of. Uh, yeah, I think yeah, my first girlfriend, Chiap Black hair. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

That could be it. I've dated, you know, platinum, blonde girls too. But you just don't love it? Yeah, it's not my favorite. But I mean, it has to look good on them too. Like, you know, some girls look better blonde than with black hair. That's true, that's true. Have you ever talked to your friends about what kind of porn they like? Do you guys don't talk about this stuff?

Women talk about this stuff. Okay, you guys talk about everything in detail down to how they get a theater. That's what we do. That's what exactly, oh my God, all the time. And I've literally been in restaurants and I'm like, well, it's like this, it's like that. Yeah, well, when they ask, just my good friends,

I'm not gonna try. Why do you want it? Because it's interesting. It's weird because you guys think that we talk about the stuff but we don't. I know. We just don't care. We get into it.

Men, I told you, they're like, this is how men talk about sex. Like, did you bang or yeah? That's it. That's it. Yeah. Women are like, I banged him. I had an orgasm on top and I'm bottom and then he went down to me for 30 minutes and then we rolled over and then he did this from behind and then like, we go into all the details.

And then I know, I tell a joy and know how every single one of my friends orgasms, like top, bottom, rear needs a vibrator It doesn't because that's what we talk about It's fun being a woman never a dull moment and always conversations to be had because all you guys Eventually use that information against each other. See that's what you guys mess up What do you mean we use it against each other? What planet? Let me tell you something. Okay, I Separate yourself from your friends.

Okay, because you're going to like, well me and my friends aren't like that. Well, some people are this way. It's very hard to find women that have friends that are lifelong friends. It's very hard to find those people. Like people, oh, this is my girlfriend that I've had since I was a little girl. Right. You know, they somehow, some way have a falling out and then they'll be like friends for like 10 years or something like that or five years and then they're like, oh, F that bitch, I never want to talk to ever again. And you guys share with the most intimate, dark secrets.

And then they break up their friendship and then they they tell the internet. Yeah, and they tell other girls about it. And then everyone knows your information. Yeah. I've had the same friends forever. So I, but I know that a lot of women do not have that. But I've nurtured like to me, my friendships are the things that I'm most proud of. Yeah. That I've had forever. But I get where you're saying a lot of women are falling out, and they fight. Yeah. So I mean, just be careful with the people you share things with. Right, that's true. I've learned that actually when I buy a mistake, you remember this, told a guy, like this is the thing when you're dating someone and you feel super close and comfortable and

you just sit and you're lying in bed and you're like whatever and I shared something with him that was, I should not have shared. And we broke up two months later and he told my friend this secret and it was like horrible, like it reached such havoc. So be careful, I think who you share with lover, like guys that you dare women, you just started dating. I don't think that when you have sex, when you have sex, someone you feel like intimately closer, like instantly closer and I don't think it's a great day to share.

A lot of this information, it does know good for... I had no reason to tell this guy, this secret. Yeah, there's no information. Even girls are with for three years. There's information I don't need to tell them for what? For what? It's not gonna benefit me in any way. I'm just talking to Sharon, and we just feel better, so that's what we do.

I'm a freaking safe man. Like, I'm not gonna say anything to anybody. I don't care if I have like a huge falling out with somebody. It's karma. I'll come back and bite you in the ass. So let us lock it up. Okay. Continuing pornography where I'm standing here, problems with pornography. A common source of fear against pornography is a claim that it causes violent behavior. Have you heard this before? The people are trying to stop pornography? Well, I mean if you because probably because they've seen some common source of fear against pornography is a claim that it causes violent behavior. Have you heard this before?

The people who are trying to stop pornography? Well, I mean, because they've probably seen some pornography, some of the pornography is pretty violent. Yeah, it is. It is. But exposure to pornography might make some people less likely to make sexual crimes, they say, and because of the availability of it, they'll able to use porn as an outlet rather than to go kill someone.

So they're saying that it's not. So they say that. And some people say another problem they're saying that it's not, study, say that. And some people say another problem with it is that it means that you're cheating. So there's some women who... Crazy women. Women who think that when their boyfriend watches porn, they're cheating on them.

And I think that, again, like we talked about, it's sometimes it's exploring your deepest psychological self and men watch porn for other reasons and it's sometimes it's exploring your deepest, you know, your deepest psychological self and men watch porn for other reasons and it's not cheating. But again, it can be used as a tool to increase the passion in your relationship. Porn. Oh, yeah.

Have you ever watched porn with a woman? No, no, no. No, just this one. I mean, what did you think about? I had a woman bring it up like, oh, we should, I'm like, it's feel weird. Really? Yeah, I mean, I haven't done it that much,

but I've done it and it's hot. Like this guy that I hot like this guy that I have to share what kind of porn you like I know I know That's what I'm saying let the woman this is what if you learn anything when this is let the woman Lead the charge ask her what turns around don't bring all your freaky shit on the first date. Yeah, oh yeah I like facials like oh this collaboration of all facial shots like yeah, and she's like, oh, that's disgusting. Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah, I'm not really into that too. I was just playing. You're like, yeah, I mean, either I'm totally not down. But, and I also, we always see it from end to, like,

I master it every day to porn, is that a problem? And I want to say, never a problem. It's not a problem porn. If you want, if you master it every day, you watch porn, it's only a problem if it's a problem. Like, is it, are you not going to work anymore? Are you not wanting to have sex with your partner anymore? Are you not leaving the house?

Like, it's a problem when it is wreaking havoc on other parts of your life. That is when it's a problem. Yeah. So are we? We got to wrap it up. Okay. Oh my God.

Can we say what's up to Arty Lang and Nick Tupalo? Yeah. That's your phone. Yeah. What's up Arty Lang, Nick Tupalo? Dude, you guys are freaking awesome. Love you. God. We you, God.

We do love you, and we're honored to be here on a series that I'm extremely talk 165. Thanks, everyone, for listening to Sex with Emily. It was a good for you. Email me feedback at sexwithamlee.com.