Sex With Emily - SWE: Three's Company
Episode Date: January 13, 2012Emily kinda, sorta preps for Valentine's Day, and reveals how you can turn your penis into a vibrator (freezing in carbonite not required), c-rings, and sexting blunders. Also, how to have a successfu...l threesome without destroying your relationship. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I
Look into his eyes
They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex
Eyes that block our sacred institutions
Betrubized they call them in a bike on me. Hey, Emily
You got a boyfriend because my man E here. He just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute
The girls got a hair stand. Oh my the The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way?
What do you mean like laundry?
It's shrink?
Can we not talk about sex so much?
Are you kidding me?
Oh my god.
I'm off here.
So, so, so.
Being bad feels pretty good.
You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.
You're listening to Sex with Emily.
We're talking about sex relationships and everything
in between.
For more information, go to sexonly.com
where you will improve your sex life for sure
if you go to our website
because we've got all the sex tips
and all the sex information that you need
right there in one neat tidy package.
And you forgot the new penis growing feature
that's on sexonly.com.
It works automatically.
So we're, you just visit the website
and your penis gets bigger.
It's weird.
It's amazing.
I know.
I can't believe it.
We spent millions of dollars and put ourselves in the poor house to make that happen for
you.
But we care about it all the sinners.
We do care.
And we know the penis sizes are really big concern for people.
So we just want you to be happy.
And yeah, I hope you enjoy that feature.
Yeah, just don't go to the website too many times.
Right.
Because you don't want to walk around with a huge one.
No, no, no.
Because even that might seem like it'd be something really good.
And it can, everything good comes the bad, you know?
You don't know.
Too much access.
Too much access, penis is not good for anyone.
So yeah, today's show.
We are talking about three as companies,
three some etiquette for before,
during and after a three sum.
Because you know, we've done polls on our website, all that stuff, and people are like,
threesome.
And oh, this is actually apropos to this, is that we did a study poll the other day on
what you want to try in the new year sexually and threesome one out.
So I figured, we'll give you some tips in case you should be so lucky.
We'll give you some tips on how to have that threesome that you so desire.
Yes.
Menace, this might help you too.
I'm freaking out.
Why are you freaking out?
No, I'm just checking all the levels and everything.
Oh, okay.
But you're not really freaking out.
No, that's why I'm making that up.
But that'd be kind of fun.
If you happen to be freaking out during the show
about something emotional.
Emotional?
I don't know.
If you were having a real freak out, like, oh my god,
I, this girl.
Oh my god, I'm you never have a relationship drama
I really think it would help the show can you get into a fucked up relationship that we could analyze and break down
No, I just I just don't get in those man
Pomer and I don't either really anymore. Yeah, I try not to sucks
Which that's why we we have to put interns on more often? I know because they're
They're sex lives are just out of control.
Lauren's here to show anything new to add today.
No, she was on the other day.
Did you make out your co-worker?
No.
She did.
She did.
There was no more.
God damn it.
I knew it.
I knew it.
I knew it.
With the same guy, there's a different one.
Same one.
I knew it.
Oh, yeah.
I knew it.
She's like, see, that's why you can't
trust anything. We have the other intern on the other day. What's her name?
I'm talking about. We had her on the other day. She's like, Oh, I'm not really into this
guy. Guaranteed next time she comes in the studio. Oh, I had sex with them. That's what
you guys always do. Oh, I'm not into them at all. blah, blah. Oh, by the way, I fell down
on his penis. Oops. I slipped and fell on his penis once again. Yeah, you can't trust what a woman says Emily.
Yes, you can.
We just sometimes we don't think we're intimate
and then we see him and then we, oh, oh, maybe I will.
How was the situation this time?
Did you, were you consuming our mic?
Should we get our mic?
Yeah, let's get our mic.
Do you want to know?
What?
I told you to tell it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You should tell it all.
But not about the...
No, but he, okay. It doesn't matter. She's just, but not about the- No, but-
Okay.
It doesn't matter.
She's just whatever.
She's moving out, you know, she likes them.
It's cool.
Okay, we don't have to get into that now, but we'll maybe, we'll make her give her more
prep time.
All right.
How about we do this?
Because people feel more comfortable, and I definitely feel more comfortable because this
is how I shut down every time.
You ask me, oh, did I have sex?
I'm like, yeah, I had sex and you go with who?
And then automatically shut down. Oh, that's your right. Automatically shut down because I don't
I don't want to ask how was it. Yeah, I should ask what positions did you use? Yeah, so
I think now on new rule where we're going to be more open is we go, oh, who was it? Just
say, you know, just describe like, okay, that's I think that's great because who cares who
it is. We don't want that we don't want to exploit that person.
Yeah.
We don't want to post them on Facebook or anything.
No, sorry.
I mean, maybe we will, just for fun.
I think people on the show would be more open to
if we just talk that way.
Right, well this guy, okay, so this guy I've been dating,
speaking of sexual encounters,
we have amazing kissing chemistry, and I can't explain it.
I just want to say that.
Oh, you're trying to make it up because I've said-
No, I'm sharing it with you that like our kisses are like through the roof like time
evaporates and we're just like kissing and we flow.
It's like a dance.
It's just amazing.
Disney characters started coming out the forest like, like, and stuff like that.
Exactly.
Snow White, seven dwarves, all that stuff.
No, but it's just good.
It's like one of our good things is the kissing.
Makes me really happy.
After how many glasses of P-new-R?
No, we're sober January.
We're not in fact.
Yeah, sober January, it's shit.
When's it over?
What's the date?
I don't know.
Oh my god, I've still got like 13 more days left
or something.
I can't handle it.
Yeah, I can't eat more days.
Yeah, it's been interesting. Although I did have a glass of wine.
I'm gonna admit it. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not a big drinker, but I did. It was a dinner last night,
and with my friend, my girlfriend took me out to dinner to a great new restaurant in the city.
We had some sea bass. What am I? Not gonna have a glass of wine. Yeah. I'm not gonna be like crazy about this.
Crazy fanatical sober.
I mean, so where I'm sober ish. Let's just say that.
Yeah.
And, um, I was just thinking when it comes to wine, fellas,
you know you're going to get laid if her teeth are purple.
Like, you know, he doesn't know it's going to go down.
That's so true.
That's why you women start drinking white wine because the red wine is a giveaway, but I hate when people have that red, guys, when you
go to a guy to party and he's all red, you should carry around mouthwash or something.
Oh, the teeth is all red.
Yeah.
Yeah, drink white wine.
Well, people don't realize it by that point that they're teeth.
They don't care.
They're like, hey, how you doing?
I like the white wine, so I'm fair.
I'm good.
A white wine with, with, with, uh, cubed isonet, right?
No, why don't do that?
Why do women do that?
I don't know.
It's a chick thing, right?
Guys don't walk around with ice.
It means bad enough if they're drinking white wine, but then if they're drinking white wine
with cubed isonet.
No, I heard it's not classy if you have a...
It's not classy, but it's, it's, people, women do it all the time.
Like, you had no time to, you really need a drink and your white wine is not in the refrigerator.
I like to have ice in my Ziffin Dale.
Ziffin Dale, you do.
Ziffin Dale is like the best wine out there, right?
No, I don't know.
I mean, in your book, it's not good.
Why?
It's good, Ziffin Dale's good.
White Ziffin Dale can be good.
It's sort of the lowest,
that's a lot of wine.
You see why I bright up?
Yeah.
Because it's not class.
I like Savano Blanc.
Oh yeah. That's what I drink. Ziffin Dale. I bright up. Yeah. Because it's not class. I like sub and no blank. Oh, yeah. That's what I drink.
Ziff and Dale. I'm all about it. Two dollars in
Fandale. Drink it up everybody.
That's how it's good. I'm talking about Valentine's Day in the office. I know it's just a month
away. Not even a month away. I'm talking about Valentine's Day with me.
Well, I'm doing it now. Wow.
So we're doing like a massive, we're doing like the coolest thing for Valentine's Day.
So you got to keep paying attention, but we're giving away some awesome gifts.
We've got like this huge package we're giving away.
Plus we're giving away just some copies of my book, which by the way, I just met with my
publisher.
My book is called Hot Sex over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight.
And I just got a copy of the book in Korean.
It's like in 10 languages, it looks really cool.
Same pictures, but then in Korean, it's bizarre.
And I'm going to write a new book, a relationship book.
Because you know, I know some of our relationships.
Yeah, it's cool.
I just met with them.
Just came back.
But it's cool to see my book in Korean.
I have no idea what it's about.
You know, hopefully they translated my words well.
It's cool.
Where were you last year for Valentine's Day?
Who was I dating?
Who was I boning last year?
I don't think you, where do you,
I hope probably not, on.
But anyway, we're gonna be doing a,
like a social media thing with Facebook and Twitter
and people can win a bunch of stuff
and you're gonna help us with it,
which I'll let you know about that.
All right.
So where was I last Valentine's Day?
I don't think anywhere interesting.
Where were you?
I was actually, the Grammys was on Valentine's Day.
Oh, really?
Last year?
Fun.
So I was there.
Yeah, it was cool.
Do you remember it?
Yeah, I remember it.
I actually, it was really cool.
There was this girl that I was trying to hang out with for a long time, but our schedule
was never matched.
And then she just happened to be in LA at the same time that I was trying to hang out for a long time, but our schedule's never matched. And then she just happened to be in LA at the same time
that I was in LA.
And then did you hold up?
I can't remember.
Did we hooked up?
No, no.
I just wanted to hang out with our friends.
Yeah, yeah.
And I had to leave.
Actually, I left the Grammys early
because I got to catch a clutch.
Catch a flight.
So I left her there by herself.
Oh, I'm sure she was fine with that.
Yeah, but it was really cool because I go, what are you doing today? I say, ah, nothing. I go, do you want to, you want to go
with me to the Grammys? You just haven't been LA. I'm gonna lay. Let's go. That's cool. It was a really
good time. It's just fun. We're gonna be doing, you know, from Valentine's Day, we're gonna be doing a
lead like the week leading up to Valentine's Day, like doing shows that kind of cover all of the big
questions people have, like the best gifts, the best dates, what you should, what you do, what you do if you're
single on Valentine's Day, so we're going to do a whole thing because we're sucks with
Emily. Sweet. We're all about Valentine's Day. Also, I just want to say that if you are
starting to think about Valentine's Day, Adam and Eve has an awesome, I freaking love
their new special they have right now going, which is if you put in coupon code Emily, check out.
You get 50% off an item.
Plus, you get the Kim Kardashian Sex DVD.
And you get mystery gift, free shipping, and your item, if you're present.
Mystery gift.
It's a mystery gift.
I don't know what it is, but go to Adamaneeve.com.
It's a mystery.
Is it a lock of your hair?
My hair.
No, it has nothing to do with me.
I am not in charge of the mystery gift, but you should go check out Adam's name because
we love them.
That's what I've got to say about that.
Cool.
Any things going on in the news?
Yes, I'm about to get there.
Amber Rose, she says, I forgive Kanye West for banging Kim Kardashian.
Did you hear about all this? I have. She's totally forgiving Kim Kardashian for allegedly hugging up forgive Kanye West for banging Kim Kardashian. Did you hear about all this?
I have. She's totally forgiving Kim Kardashian
for allegedly hugging up a Kanye West behind her back
until she feels bad for calling Kim a home wrecker.
She claims Kanye and Kim had a secret affair
while she was still dating the rapper a few years ago,
but Kardashian denies it.
And Amber says she feels bad that I called Kim a home wrecker
because that was kind of mean.
And I forgive Kanye too.
It's not a big deal, you know? So they're cool with it. She's over it. Yeah, I never knew too much about Amber Rose
Me neither so yeah, I mean she's been she got famous from dating Kanye Kanye West, right?
But you always see images of her because she's like this very
Upturalist right? this very few up-fueless. Right. Veloptuous. Wow, really hard today. Were you drinking before the shooting?
No, I know I was.
I know I was.
I'm getting it.
Did you ever be sex last night?
Yes, I was.
In what position?
In the city.
Butterfly.
No, she just, you know, this really, you know.
Veloptuous.
Yeah, model.
She's the model.
Model.
So you see images of her all the time.
You see her music videos. But I never heard her talk ever.
Okay.
And she's been in the spotlight for like a couple of years now.
I just saw her talk for the first time.
There was some video of her on TMZ and she seems really cool.
Oh, okay.
So you seem really like down to earth.
What is she, she's a model and anything else?
I mean, she's like currently modeling and I saw her in a commercial.
She's
being a spokesperson for Smyrnaf and stuff like that. Do you think that this whole like Kim Kardashian thing just going off in Kim Kardashian? Because we were talking to my
office like does she have a really bad public image now you think because of the
of what the divorce was just raise her popularity? I don't think it raises her popularity but I don't
think it tarages this. I don't think it.
Her too much.
We neither.
So what?
Quicky divorce.
They all do that pretty spears to that, right?
They all have these quicky little messages.
Yeah.
So I think they'll recover.
Do you have the thing about Chloe Kardashian in the news?
No.
So the big thing that came out yesterday is, I didn't know this, but Robert Kardashian
was actually married twice after breaking up with
Chris Jenner. Did you know that? So the short time. Oh, Robert who died. Yeah. The father, the father.
Is that his name, Robert? Robert Kardashian. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So then Robert Kardashian,
apparently had, yeah, he had two other marriages after they broke up. I didn't, I never knew this.
Yeah, I didn't know that either.
So the two ex-wives are coming out and saying that Robert Kardashian told them that Chloe
Kardashian has a different dad.
No way.
Yes.
I totally missed that.
And then people are saying, oh, it's not true and all this stuff, because they made
this whole big deal on the one of the episodes of the show where Chloe Kardashian was saying,
oh, I feel like I'm adopted. I don't look like my sister's dead. I'm going to do a DNA
test. But they only did the they because they had that home DNA test. They only did the
DNA test with the mother. So of course she still has the same mother.
Right, right, right.
But how would she...
They don't know the dad.
Is she the youngest?
She's the youngest.
Oh, so she could have been the right.
Maybe she does have a different dad.
Yeah, but everyone's saying it's not true.
Bob, Bob, Bob.
Oh, no, I missed that one.
Yeah.
That'd be a bummer to find out like in your 20s
that you, you know, your parents.
Your mom was a chien hoe.
Exactly.
Wow, that's crazy.
The 2X-Y's all came up and said that.
Yeah.
Missed that.
That's good to know.
Was that in the news today?
Yeah, it's been the news since you last, yesterday evening and this morning.
So, who knows if it's true, they're all claiming it's not true.
They're all claiming it's not true.
They're all claiming it's not. There's no way liars anyway. They're all claiming it's not.
There's no way you can know.
They're still all sisters and crazy, so whatever.
Okay, Zach and rumor, it's getting serious.
Long time pal, Zach, I find a rumor realist,
rumor willis are taking the relation to the next level.
Zach, Efron and rumor willis?
Mm-hmm.
What?
They celebrated their new status with a romantic Turks and Kiko's getaway in late
December. Zach had been trying to win back Vanessa Hudgens. How do you say her name? But she's
moved on with Austin Butler. At first they'd socialize in groups and rumors started going
to his home blah blah blah. She rumors the one that's not that cute, right? That's why I'm
like googling in a picture right now.
I mean, not to be rude, but isn't she kind of known for it?
And maybe she's blossomed into a beautiful smile.
There's some saying, I'm trying to see if there's any...
What?
In Zach Efron?
Yeah, that's what I got here.
I'm not making it up.
Do you see her? Yeah.
That's crazy. I'm trying making it up. Do you see her? Yeah. It's crazy.
I'm trying to look her up right now.
Um, but what about the whole like Demi Moore thing and speaking of rumor willis is Demi
Moore's daughter.
Um, a lot's been coming out that Ashens been cheating the whole time and they'd open
relationship and Demi Moore, but she looks amazing.
Like don't you think she's just going to be with someone soon and I mean, oh yes,
she can be, she can be with whoever she wants.
You think? Yeah, Demi Moore. Come on she can be with whoever she wants. You think?
Yeah, Demi Moore.
Come on.
Yeah, you think she's hot, right?
Yeah, she's, she's good looking.
I mean, she's definitely older than what you would do.
I would date, but she's not going to have any problems finding a man at all.
Okay.
All right, couple of renews marriage vows after husband's sex change.
This always confuses me when people are married and get sex changes like we're not at
Chaz bone or the other day who's married to a woman and now he's a man.
Now he's a girl, now he's a man.
He's a man.
Okay, a British couple from Halifax West York, West Yorkshire renewed their wedding vows
to celebrate their ninth year of marriage, which is nothing out of the ordinary unless
you consider that burying and Watson
are now Jane and Ann Watson.
After 43 year old Barry, a former bus driver,
transitioned from male to female.
They were married in 2002, and in 2008,
Jamie, Jane, sprang the news on Ann,
that she wanted to be a woman.
Looking back, Jane says it was hard telling the woman,
I love too, that I wanted to be a woman,
and it's not easy, but they're celebrating
in their anniversary, they're still together. That would just be so weird to me
It's like now we're sharing clothes. You have no penis. I don't know. I would like miss stuff like that
Yeah, man, I don't know but they must really love each other like in their souls like that
That's a real love like I don't care what you look like if you don't have a penis anymore which
That would really bump me out
I just can't get over that.
You have had a medieval day long.
Yeah, that's true.
What were you still looking up Zach Efron?
I remember Roylas.
How's that going for you?
I found room, Roylas.
She's looking a lot better.
She's tatted up like crazy now though.
She has like crazy.
Why is everyone getting so many tattoos?
I seriously?
And everyone in this town has a tattoo. I get my gym, I get a gym like every single person has tattoos.
I've been home without a tattoo.
You don't have a tattoo.
I have two tattoos.
You do?
Yes.
Where?
On both my shoulders right there.
Did I know that?
Probably I probably brought it up before.
You never wears t-shirts.
I'm not gonna walk around in tank tops.
You never wear tank tops anymore.
I know.
You should wear tank tops more often.
What are your tattoos?
Do regret them.
I do not regret them.
The only thing I'm pissed off about is one of them though.
Why?
Because I got a tattoo before it became extremely popular.
Your trendsetter.
I know. I got it probably about three or four years before it came popular and then it
just got crazy.
Right.
Where people got star tattoos.
Right.
The only reason I got a star tattoo is.
You need star tattoos.
People get tattoos of stars.
Yeah. The guy I'm dating has star tattoos.
So is that popular?
Yeah, I got trendy like
Like within the past couple years. Okay. He got like 15 years ago But why do you why do you so it's a little star? No, it's a really big one. Okay, I have a star tattoo
Because one of my friends passed away and her nickname was star
So that's why that's nice. So why does it piss you off? I just miss me off because every douchebag and bro out there
Ended up getting a star like yet three to four years later, so that's why I got upset about it
I got it your stuff, but hopefully you know a couple years. I didn't know so I'm not up with like
Trends. Yeah, I'm up with trends but not trending tattoos, but now the trend is thank God the stars went away
Now this is a crazy trend it. don't get it. Everyone is getting
ice cream tattoos. What do you mean? Like cones of ice cream on it. Cool. There's like there's like rappers with
ice cream cones on their face. Why?
What the hell is that? What's the symbolism to that? I don't know what ice cream cone trend is. That's so dumb. I don't understand any of it. If I get a tattoo one day, I have to be really, I have to like strike me like as like like I have to come up
Not like I tell like I want to get tattoo so bad that I'm gonna go search for something
But I'm gonna have to like come to me in an image sometimes somewhere and I'll be like oh, yeah, that's what I want
I so wanted to make fun of girls that get the back the tram stamp. No, not the the tram stamp the it's get the back. The tram stamp? No, not on the tram stamp.
It's on the back top shoulder.
Okay.
That's like the number one place that girls are getting tattoos.
It's just not cool.
Not attractive.
I feel bad.
Do you have one?
Okay.
Thank God.
Why do you?
I was just like, go off on them today and then I found out my assistant had one.
Would you go off on them with her? And then then she's like dude, look at my shoulder.
Oh because the reason we were talking about it because Snooki just got star, she got star
tattoos but in leopard print on her back.
That's so cheesy and so hard.
Yeah.
Leopard print anything.
I mean I love leopard print but like not permanently.
Yeah, it's like girls, you're gonna be wearing dresses, okay?
And just unless you're like really tatted up,
just having a random tattoo on your back shoulder,
it's just not hot.
I know.
It's not cool.
I don't wanna do it, I'm not gonna do it.
My mama has a tattoo though,
a little yellow rose of Texas, my husband.
My mom's husband is from Texas,
so she got a little yellow rose.
I'll just speak, because yellow rose of Texas, but that's cute.
So my mom has one, I feel like I should get one,
but I've been inspired.
When it comes to tattoos, like you're all in
or just don't get the random thing
that's just gonna show up all the time.
I'm not doing it.
Thank God I haven't done that mistake.
So celebrity engagement overload.
Have you been hearing the slightly all these celebrities just got engaged?
I think it's because like the new year...
Who's engaged?
I'll tell you right now.
Halle Berry is reportedly engaged to her boyfriend of more than a year.
Just red, just red.
All of her Martinez.
Not true.
Britney Spears has engaged to her long-time boyfriend Jason Trawick.
That's true.
Jessica Bale and Justin Timberlaker engaged.
Celebrities just love to get engaged.
Let's see if they actually stayed together
for the long run since it is Hollywood.
So, Halle Berry is not engaged, huh?
She came out and said it's not engaging her ring.
There she's been wearing.
Okay, good to know.
But there have been, I think it's because like Christmas,
people do it, like they'll know.
Yeah, it's a holiday,
there are ones around family and stuff like that.
So, they feel like, oh man, I got to start my family now.
Do you ever feel like that when you're around your family now? I feel like I got to run.
I don't feel like I have to start my family at all. And I've been honestly, I don't want
to get into the dog thing. Oh, I was going to get into the dog thing. How? What about the dog?
Okay. So I've had my dog now for six months. And I love her seven months. Jesus.
And did I tell you from the beginning not to get this thought?
Stop it. But the point is that it's hard. Like, and every time I say this, if you're so
pathetic, if you're like, bitch, I've got three dogs and three kids and fuck you and whatever.
But for me, for my lifestyle, having a walk, they're like, I get home late at night and
I'm like, I just want to go to bed, but I got to walk the dog. Like walking the dog is annoying.
So if I have a kid,
you got to do way more than walk them.
It was totally unnecessary for you to get the dog.
It was premature.
Well, luckily with a kid,
you don't have to take them outside.
Like, for them to go to the bathroom and stuff like that.
No, but there's so much more you got to do though
with them in the house.
You got to play balls,
you got to play the box with them for hours.
You got to play for health insurance and crazy stuff like that.
I know, but I just wonder what I'm wondering though. You gotta play ball, you gotta play ball. You gotta play for health insurance. Health insurance and crazy stuff like that.
I know, but I just wonder what I'm wondering though.
The reason why I brought this up is,
do you have a kid, yes?
It's equivalent.
Do you think that the dog, my feelings about the hardship
of having a dog translates to having a child,
or is it totally separate?
Because you have a kid and you love the kid.
I think it's similar, but it can't hurt my dog.
But kids, you know, you can have a little more control.
Yeah, but also I'm saying once you give birth,
you love this thing more than me.
I didn't even hurt my dog.
It's different, but I'm just saying as far as having
the responsibility in my life of something
other than myself, it's been more challenging.
Just because it's been a really busy time.
Yeah.
Dogs are awesome, but they're pain the ass, man.
I'm telling you, I know.
Check out my tumblr white menace tumblr.com.
Yeah, I have all these pictures of all these cute dogs, like my friends dogs and
stuff like that that I post on there.
And I would love to have these dogs for a couple hours.
You know, it's just, it's the upkeep is crazy.
I was spending some time at my buddy's house and a freaking squirrel. You know, it's just, it's the upkeep is crazy. I was spending some time
at my buddy's house and a freaking squirrel was in the, in the backyard or something. And
these dogs were going apes shit like barking up a storm. I'm like, okay, fine. I'm going
to open the window and let you go chase after the squirrel and let the squirrel just run away,
right? But then they can't gone barking for half hour after that. I'm like, dude, the squirrel just run away, right? But then they get gone barking for half hour after that. I'm like, dude, the squirrel is gone by now.
I know.
And it's disturbing all the neighbors and stuff like that.
You know?
Yeah, the barking is annoying.
I hate disturbing other people.
Like, I find that annoying.
So when people are disturbing me too, I find it annoying.
Of course you do.
Like some mother effort that's living above me, right?
He's like some foreign exchange student.
And he has, he was playing Hey There Delilah
by the playing YTs.
Over and over again, I seriously wanted to kick
this stuff to you.
Did you go up and knock on the door?
No, because I'm not that good at present.
You see, if you're gonna repeat a song,
play a song that's actually good.
Yeah, I go, here's a playlist, buddy.
Go to this one.
But no, no, I'm just, I'm not that type of person
that's gonna go and you're not because my
Girl's always yelling me here's the problem. I'm on the top floor of my building
So I'm and I happen to be loud as you know you hear me walking in the studio everyday with my heels
But I've gotten to the habit of taking off my heels when I get in my house my neighbor's downstairs still think
I'm loud because they can hear me like my the walls are really thin in my apartment building
There's six units and I'm loud because they can hear me like my the walls are really thin in my apartment building there's six units and I'm at the top. There's three though. I mean there's two on each floor
and anyway apparently I'm the loudest. Yeah. And I'm so small and quiet.
But with those heels, they're crazy weird. I take off the heels right now.
They can still hear me on the phone. They can hear me shuffling around and I stay up late
at night, or going to stuff and I do work and I'm like kind of a crazy night late night person. So oh, it'd be a nightmare.
I would never like say, hey, I'll come play until I'm bored.
They write me notes.
I feel bad.
Get this bitch out of my building.
Yeah, my landlord loves me though.
Okay, let's get into some emails because then we got to get into three sim talk.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Here's what the people got to say today.
Emily, ever since I've been listening to you guys,
I've been trying to get a little more open-minded when it comes to sex and pleasure. I've got to share the story with you.
I was having sex with a woman who I'd been seeing for a short while. We'd been with each other before and we both rocked each other's worlds.
But this time she decided to add a little move to the experience and use a magic wand during sex. That's the Hattachi magic wand. My first thought was, whoa, she's breaking out the big guns.
Don't pass gold, do not collect $200, but then I thought, what would Emily do?
She went reverse cowgirl and held the wand on the base of my penis. The vibrations were
phenomenal in caps, but the effect was too full. The vibrations
share my penis into a vibrator inside of her. Needless to say, we were both massively
satisfied. I say, as long as you know that toys aren't a requirement for sex orgasms,
there's nothing to fear about toys. Your favorite sailor, Jamal, we've not heard from Jamal
in a while. He's a friend with benefits member. So let me break this down for you folks.
Okay. The Hattachi Magic Wand is this, they call it like the Mac Truck of Vibrators. You from all in a while. He's a friend with benefits member. So let me break this down for you folks.
Okay, the Hattachi magic wand is this, they call it like the Mac truck of vibrators.
You have to plug it into the wall and it's big.
It's not for insertion.
It's strictly for clitoral stimulation.
And actually Kelsey, my assistant talked about it, I think, on the air using the Hattachi
with her boyfriend and it was mind blowing because literally it blows all other vibrators
all the water.
It is so strong and so powerful.
You're guaranteed an orgasm.
And if a woman holds an eye or clitoris,
it also hits the base of his penis, makes it vibrate.
It feels amazing.
And a lot of couples love to use the Hattachi
Manticuan during sex.
So you see it at first, you're like, whoa,
but it's not about the sides because it just touches
your clitoris.
If you want to buy a Hattachi Manticuan,
you can go to ademoneave.com
as I already mentioned. You can put a coupon code Emily at checkout and I think everyone should
own one. I have it permanently plugged in. I've said this before, but I drilled a hole
in the back of my nightstand so it could be drilled so it could always be plugged in.
That's how much I love my Hattachi Magic Wand. Thanks, Jamal. He's a premium friend of
benefits member. We love our friends of benefits members. Thanks, mom
I can't figure it out. What do you figure it out? Oh, why are you were talking about that? You were ignoring me and doing something else?
No, I was looking up something about the touchy magic wand
And I still can't figure it out. I'm so trying to figure out if the touchy magic wand is the same a touchy that makes my television
Oh, right. I have touchy. I don't know i i i would think so i would think of tochi
could spin around for the video
i don't know so many years really twenty three years
yeah because of the look at like yama hi yama hi makes
everything from uh... stereo systems to
motorcycles to pianos
yeah who says that
tochi can't make a magic whatachi can't make a magic wand?
Exactly. They could make a magic wand. You're right. It totally makes sense. And also,
Adam and Eve makes their own version of the Hattachi, which is a little less expensive,
and I think it's just as powerful. Okay. Emily, I've got another question for you. I've been thinking,
I might want to try a sea ring, but I have no idea what to get.
Any recommendations from a good starter cop ring?
And of course, I'll be buying it from Adam and Eve.
Thanks, Marvin.
He's a premium friend of benefits member.
The macho stallion erection keeper cop ring on Adam and Eve.com is great for beginners.
It's made of jelly and it's waterproof.
We'll keep you hard for longer.
When it's on the cop ring, when it's on, the cocoryn goes through a cycle all by itself
of seven different vibrations that will feel amazing on her clitoris.
This one in particular has stellar reviews.
So buy that one from Adam and Eve and let me know how it goes.
Because we've been talking about them a lot.
The cocoryn is a visual, initially we're just for men to help them stay harder or longer.
But now all these cocoryn has have vibrations that feel really good on the female.
It looks like a rubber band with a flashlight on almost, the one that you show me all the
time in the office.
Right.
Have you ever, you know, you haven't given me one.
I'll give you one, do you want, do you want, seriously, do you want one?
What? Do you want to give it to you? I didn't know that you, you're so, I don't want the. Do you want, do you want, do you want one? What?
Do you want to give it to you?
I didn't know that you, you're so...
I don't want the ones that you show everybody in the office all the time.
Do you want to give you a one that's special vacuum seal wrapped that you know I've never
used it before, okay?
I promise you that.
I want the one that's laying outside in the gravel.
I'll give you a good one.
I promise.
Okay.
Let's move into our top. It's a dog hair all over it. Everything's got dog a good one. I promise. Okay, let's move into our top.
It's a dog hair all over it. Everything's got dog hair on it in my life.
It's another thing. The dog hair kills me. Go out with my buddies. And one of them, he
broke out with his girlfriend and she left the cat. Every time we go out, this mother
effort is covered in cat hair. I know.
I carry around the brush now to get the brush to get the thing off.
I love animals, people, but animals are not for single people.
They cause too much trouble in your life.
Like when you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, you're married, and you're settled down, and
you don't go out that much, then cool, get a pet.
But it's not for single people.
I know, you know my story with a dog
and how I got the dog and it wasn't like,
I was after a dog.
You were a condenser dog.
I was condenser dog.
But she's cute and like, when I think about giving her away,
I think I love her little face and I miss her
and I love her.
I do love her.
I just think it's difficult.
You'll totally forget about that dog after two weeks
if you gave it away.
No, not true.
We are, we are bonded.
We are sisters.
Yeah, right.
We are.
No way.
Just because you farted on your leg doesn't mean that you just dissed my dog.
You're acting like you would be at the end of that one movie.
Was that one movie where Brad Pitt came out one time and yet there
was two chicks in the movie and they were driving in the car all the time. What's that movie?
You know that I don't. Oh, oh, oh, oh, thumb on the weas. Yeah, you're acting like you're thumb on
the weas with the dog and you're gonna be drawing off the cliff together. Like you have that much
of a bond. I mean, we do. You know, we do. You got it. You'd be so happy if you got rid of it.
No, I went.
Yeah, you would stop.
You just don't want to tell that to the listeners because.
No, I would tell, what do I tell the listeners?
I tell listeners every day.
Yeah, but you're going to look like an animal hating person.
I know.
Whatever, you just, or you would seem like a failure.
You brought that up before.
Yeah, I feel like a failure with the dog.
I feel like I couldn't, but it's hard in the city.
I don't have a backyard.
I have to walk the dog down the stairs.
And then this guy I'm dating sometimes he walks a dog,
which is really nice.
I would never do that for you.
You wouldn't sit in there, like I'm tired.
And he's like, I'll walk the dog.
I don't care.
Not a lot.
I'm usually like a weird dog.
You would be giving me, I would consider.
Dude, you've never had my filet show.
You would fucking be walking. You'd be giving me I would say dude you've never had my filet show you would at you Would fucking be walking you'd be you'd be owning my dog. I'll be like F that walk your own goddamn dog
I walk her every morning. I walk her every night
Try to walk her during the day. That should be the next poll to Emily keeper dog. Yes
No, that's not useful. Okay, let's get it. It is useful. Let's get, I almost brought it today by No You'd Be Maniming.
I lose my effing mind.
I know.
She's cute though.
People said she looked cute when I had her on camera
a few weeks ago.
Well, that's great.
Because everyone listening to the show,
you know that you can watch the show as well
if you don't know that.
Dude, check this out.
When Emily, sexathemely.com just blows up beyond belief
and we're able to afford our own office and the
own sex with Emily studio that's just crazy electronics everywhere. You can bring in the
dog whenever you want. I would never I would never say anything. You might fart in your
leg and you can't say I would welcome the dog here. Okay, but we're at the lovely
stature studios and we just can't bring the dog in. That's why I lose my mind when you bring the dog.
Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's hard and I need to bring the dog.
I don't know what to say.
It's hard to leave or alone.
Okay, so we are going to talk about our sex topic for the day is three sums.
It's a really popular topic.
It always comes up as the number one male fantasy and I guess a lot of female have this fantasy as well.
So these are tips before, during, after what to do,
not just like how to have it,
but like what are the repercussions,
what do you need to think about all that stuff?
So what?
Why are you laughing?
Because you haven't had three some yet?
No, just laughing.
Are you gonna listen?
Do you take notes?
No, I'm listening. I'll just laughing. Are you gonna listen? Do you take notes? What?
No, I'm listening.
I'll just laughing at me or with me.
No, just for some reason I just started thinking about
chicked and three sums and like,
it's so much easier for them versus a guy.
Why?
Chick can make a three sum happen like that.
True.
This is crazy.
Right.
But a lot of couples were like,
I think this is mostly about like couples like you,
of course there's the random
Three some of just three on attached people which I actually think in my
Three-sums experience
It was never with the partner. I think that would be really hard actually
But that's what a lot of people want my three-sums experiences, which are not that mean
It's weird to me because you're so wanting to be an open relationship
Well, right, but that see so there is jealousy in there somewhere in your heart
I'm sure I'm like saying oh it'd be hard with I think that's certain relationships fuel fuel your jealousy
So if you're dating somebody who like like there's a lot of women
I know we're like I'm so jealous. I'm so jealous
And it's like this person your dating is doing something to trigger your jealousy
because I don't think that everyone makes us jealous.
Like, I'm never jealous.
I'm very rarely jealous, but I have been jealous
in relationships before when I dated a guy
who like kind of sort of cheated on me.
So then I was always not trusting him.
I'm like, why did I take you 10 minutes to go to the store?
I used to take you seven minutes.
Like, were you flirting with, you know what I mean?
You get crazy. Like, even they know what I mean, you get crazy.
Like, even they stoke that jealousy fire,
you get crazy in your mind.
Especially when they're used car salesmen.
Oh, he was bad.
He was so bad when, yeah, that's a whole other subject.
Can't trust to use car salesmen.
He's not used car salesmen,
he just wears suits, dude.
And this is an ex-boyfriend.
So, okay.
And I was like back here, use car sales.
He, it wasn't slick, he just had gel.
Car salesman.
So mean, I should tell you, call him that.
So, okay, here's a thing.
What?
He just needs to change up his hair, dude.
And he's fine.
And he's got fake teeth, but whatever.
Okay, so you got his teeth readown and you can tell.
Yeah, veneers.
Veneers.
Sometimes they're like really bad, he can really tell.
You tell he had veneers too.
I don't.
You don't remember, but it did.
The funny thing is you probably couldn't quite pick out that there were veneers, but
you were like used car salesmen, like just the whole package.
And the teeth were probably speaking to you in some way.
This is how you can tell they have bad veneers.
It is above the gum line right there.
It's gray.
It's like dead gums.
They have super bright teeth, perfectly done teeth,
but the gum.
And they're all the same size too, which is weird.
Yeah, but the gums, it's a little gray above the gums.
Check it out next time.
Good to know.
But they're asking for really good veneers.
A lot of celebrities get veneers and stuff,
and they do a good job.
You gotta go to the right person.
Okay, before you have the trio, the threesome, if you're planning on having it with your
significant other, be sure to know, note that it will change your relationship.
It will.
It'll have an impact somehow on your relationship, maybe for the better, maybe for the worse,
but it's going to be a big deal and it might be more complex than you think because you're bringing someone else in,
you've never done it before,
and they're not for every way.
So you need to talk,
the first thing you need to do before a threesome
is to talk with your partner about the rules.
Like, are you allowed to make out with this person?
Are you allowed to have a penetration with this person?
Like, how do you, you know,
like, you have to like, talk it all through?
And when you're bringing it up, and I'm assuming this is mostly for men who want it, don't
say, hey, it'd be awesome to bone another check.
Like that'd be great.
I really want to bone someone else.
That's what the thing is saying.
It's more like, it's more like saying it would be so hot to see you with another woman.
I'd like to see that too.
Like there's different ways to couch the language.
Yeah, it'd be always make it about them.
Yeah, and the three some truly is about her.
If you're in a relationship with a woman, you have to make it, she has to be someone
that she's attracted to.
You have to let her like pick it.
You're not going to be like, I want to bone that check, so let's bring her home with
us.
You have to be more mindful of the woman in the relationship.
And you have to also for sure establish in your rule setting if penetration is cool,
because there's a lot of couples where they're like,
everything's fine but no penetration.
Take penetration off the table.
So no penetrating.
Then why even do it?
I don't know because it's my mid-side.
Maybe you get some phallacial that feels really good
from this other woman.
Oh, if penetration is off the table,
why are you gonna be cool if some girl going down on me?
I don't know, because people have their own
weird sexual perclivities and the things that they're down
with and the things that they're not down with.
Okay, I would be down like that.
Okay, no penetration, but the girl still goes down on me.
I'm cool. Yeah, I'm down for that.
Right, so something.
But I don't think that's, I don't think.
But some women penetration says a lot is much more symbolic,
is much more intense and means symbolic.
It's much more meaningful, I guess.
It means more.
It's more, you know what I'm saying?
I can't say the word, I can't say the word right now,
but it's just, it's heavier, loaded.
It's more loaded penetration than phallacial.
You know what it is like whenever you hear about a pharge,
did you have phallacial?
No, we just kissed.
There's the levels that things make a difference.
How do you avoid the common mistakes of threesomes?
Everyone's going to have their own expectations.
You have to discuss what these are.
You have to realize that communication isn't much.
It's all about communicating, setting rules for the act and the post-sex etiquette.
We're unsure that the experience and the whole thing flows beautifully.
So talk about what you're comfortable with. The boundaries.
Like so is it kissing? Is the person unable to sleep over after?
Are you gonna do it again? Is it gonna how long? Is it gonna go on? We're gonna do it again. They're gonna sleep over after, are you gonna do it again? Is it gonna, how long is it gonna go on?
We're gonna do it again.
They're gonna sleep over.
And then you guys make breakfast for me the next morning.
And then they both take turns giving you a flash out.
Yeah.
Awesome.
Yeah, dude, I hope that happens to you
in your lifetime, I really do.
Man.
So you gotta limit the liquid courage.
So alcohol and not, I know that menace
is probably would be like in a blackout if he did it, but really. Dude, I know that menace is probably would be
like in a blackout if he did it, but really.
Dude, I've been so close, man. So close.
I know. What happened?
Can I tell you? All right. So I was hooking up with this one girl. And then I don't know
where she's like, Oh, you should tell this person to come over. Of course, she comes
over the idea around like 3.30am.
Right. You know how hard it is to try to get a girl to come over around 3.30am. Exactly.
It's not that easy. So of course we can't get a hold of the other girl, right? Right.
So then we're all hanging out one time. And then they started making out with each other.
The next time you guys were all hanging out. Yeah. And then,
you know, we go out. We don't all we don't all hook up. I've had sex with both of them.
No problem, right? Right. And then we're hanging out with this other situation. We're hanging
around and the other girl that we couldn't get a hold of was down, but then all of a sudden,
the other girl wasn't down. Oh, why?
Because they both like you?
Do you think that's what it is?
Yes, yeah.
How long ago was this?
This is two years ago.
Last week.
Last week.
But.
Were you having sex with them both simultaneously, like, one this Friday night and one of the next
Friday night?
No, no.
No, no.
It's time apart.
Yeah.
Sounds like you could still round these babes up.
I don't know, man. I don't know. Yeah, well the thing about
The three some that successful ones like I said like if you're not in a relationship like you're not attached to
One of these women, but you're sleeping with them both
I've sort of had that situation where this guy
Too much we were both kind of dating this guy and we weren't attached and we had a reason and it was awesome because we knew
I was really cared like it was there was no jealousy because that is a huge thing.
Three of them are about three people.
So someone might wind up feeling jealous.
Yeah, and two of them are women, so it's tough, man.
And you gotta feel like if you're not, like, right.
And if you're not the center of attention,
you're like, oh, he's with her,
or she's with the two women together
and the guys like, what the hell am I doing?
Yeah.
There is some jealousy they can come up.
And remember, jealousy is not something to be so feared because you can
get through jealousy. You just have to work on it and talk it through and all that and
be prepared that it's going to happen. So you have to remember that if you're the man
that the women won't be catering just to you but to each other as well. So there's going
to be some of that going on and don don't expect that it's gonna be perfect.
The first time it might not be.
I mean, just be psyched that you're having a threesome.
It might not be everything.
It's all cracked up to be.
Sometimes it's not, but just be happy
that you're having one.
Yeah.
Menace would be happy if you had one.
And there's plenty of things that you could do.
So if the two women are hooking up,
you can play with their breasts, their thighs.
You can do lots of things to keep your hands busy. So you can be involved, just because they are hooking up, you can play with their breasts, their thighs. You can do lots of things to keep your hands busy.
So you can be involved just because they're hooking up.
Does it mean that you have to be involved and always be safe and always use condoms?
Remember that during your famous.
You can have three thumbs whenever you want.
That's what sucks.
Yeah.
You think?
Oh, yeah.
Of course.
No, no doubt.
No, no doubt. I know.'re famous soon. I got to be famous
I know then you won't even come to work you like sorry another three some last night
Yeah, I can't wait. I want that for you. I can help you. I could hook you but there's no problem
Oh, no probably you never you always show me people that I'm not interested in no that one chick was hot
I'm not interested. Okay. She asked me whatever happened. She's like, why am I like, I, you're gonna fix me up with.
But here's one more thing I want to say about condoms.
It's, if there's a guy and he's penetrating both women,
you have to change condoms.
Like you can't stick the condom in one woman
into another, it's like, be obvious, but you should change
the condoms up.
Yeah, come on.
You gotta have a lot of condoms on him, okay?
So after the threesome, what happens?
It's probably not a great idea to have all three people spend the night.
Everybody gives each other high of five.
I like what do I do?
Yeah, they all make menace grilled cheese damage.
Lengthening the threesome past actual coitus is discouraged.
Be reassuring to your partner that you enjoyed yourself, but it was only experimental fun and tell the person how much you enjoyed it
And then send them on their way because you still need to re-bond now with your partner like you need to like come back together
How do you send them on their way?
They're so you're like that was fun don't let the door hit you in the ass something like that. Are you serious?
No, I'm not serious. What's the best way we never talked about this?
What's what's the best way to tell people like oh, it's getting kind of late? Oh,
we don't want to want to want to sleep over. It's obvious to say I got a big date tomorrow.
There's no way everyone says when they want you to leave. I got a really big date tomorrow.
I got to get up early and you really need a really good night's sleep and I don't see
but they don't get the point that they need to go. Well, then you're with stupid women.
That's so obvious. That's the first like thing when a guy's like,
oh, I got a big day tomorrow.
Oh, God, there's the door.
Here's money for taxi.
Oh, dude.
That's what you say.
And every time I'm going to date with someone and I know
they're going to want to go out to a boat,
like when it's not a great date or on someone
I'm not into, whenever he says, oh, there's this great bar
we should go check out for like an after dinner drink,
because usually we've gone to a dinner or something on the first day and I'll be like how do I get a really early morning tomorrow?
That's what I say to everybody. That's a great blanket excuse. Yeah, you can't get out of that
So some consequences that could come from a threesome
There may be some jealousy like we talked about you could lose respect for each other and your partner might get really into the third person
I actually have a friend who was dating someone for eight years, had a threesome and he ended up having
an affair with the third but the other woman. And she found out and it destroyed his relationship.
So you just got to be really careful. I'm not saying threesome's over everybody. So just
you got to sit the rules and it really is all about communication and communicating with your
partner.
It is.
Yeah. Don't you feel like now you're going to be ready to go if you have a threesome?
Uh, yeah, if I can make it happen, man.
You just gotta get less drunk and you gotta have some planning.
Why are you always saying drink less?
Why are you the enemy?
Because I think the drinks so much that you're not...
Why are you the enemy of fun?
You're having the best sex that you could have. You're the enemy of fun. Why are you the enemy of fun? Oh, you're having the best sex that you could have.
You're the enemy of fun.
I am not the enemy of fun.
Yes, you're trying to torpedo myself.
Just because I'm sober this month.
No, you're just...
But not really, because last night I had a glass of wine.
You're so boring this month, it's terrible.
No, I'm not.
I'm super fun.
Oh, can I say something off topic?
Yeah, we're done.
When it comes to Facebook.
Sure.
Well, because of Facebook, like if you know somebody's number or email or... Yeah, we're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done.
We're done.
We're done.
We're done.
We're done.
We're done.
We're done.
We're done.
We're done.
We're done. We're done.
We're done.
We're done.
We're done. We're done.
We're done.
We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done.
We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done.
We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done.
We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done.
We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. like on Facebook. What do you mean don't use the Facebook email system? No, don't. Why?
Is there other forms of communication?
What do you mean like don't post that on their wall?
Yeah, I was trying to explain what happened.
What do you mean?
Okay, break it down, break it down.
I have a friend.
She was, I was talking to her in all, like over the phone
and emails and we're hanging out.
Not a girl that I'm trying to hook up with.
Okay.
But I was just annoyed today because I was like, I haven't heard from my friend in like
so long. Like, what the hell happened to her? So I go to a Facebook page, the center message,
center message, say, hey, what's up, man? When I click on it, Facebook has all your
old messages. She sent me a message back in September for me to give her a call.
Oh, but some people check their Facebook message a lot. I don't. I don't either. I have
500 messages. I haven't heard from her since September because I never messaged her
back on Facebook. So did you message her today and say, yeah, I'm like, dude, I never saw
this message. I do that too. I actually go through my Facebook messages. I'm like, dude, I never saw this message. You need to call. I do that too. I actually go through my Facebook messages.
I'm trying to do it more often now, but I've got like 499 messages.
Yeah, but it's your personal.
And a lot of it's BS too.
It's a lot of it's like invite to an event or support me for breast cancer awareness, which
is important.
But I just don't, it's too much.
Yeah.
It's like with the email and that Facebook messages.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I agree. And another thing with
the thing with Facebook
I want to come to personal close personal friends that you have their phone number
Saying happy birthday on their Facebook page is not good enough. Oh, do you think this the you think that that that doesn't count?
I don't think that's counts if it's your personal
Text them you call but everybody's getting calls on their birthday
I call all my friends on their birthday. I give them a phone call. I don't text them
I don't write all their friends. What do you mean you have so many friends like which friends do you call my close friends
That I have their phone right but if you don't know their number you can be like have birthday. Did you do that on people's walls?
Just the happy birthday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, aren't really your friends. Yeah, like, you know, I happen to see it's their birthday.
Right, right.
I write happy birthday.
But if it's my close person or friend, you call them.
When it comes to, you know, it goes back to women.
They like little notes and stuff like that.
You call people, that means a lot to people.
Well, I love that you're a phone person.
I love that you call, I call you pick up mostly.
Yeah, I hate the emails and all this stuff.
It sucks man.
I think we should bring the phone back
because the phone has stopped using the phone for communication.
And I personally, and maybe this is just me,
I think that I'd like to hear from listeners,
feedback at sexually.me.com.
As a woman, when a guy calls me,
I think it means so much more now. Like,
there's so many relationships that go on that are like full on texting. My friend, my
one of my best friends, he's got like a relationship, a relationship. I put that in quotes. Going
out with three different women now, he met them each separately and he's been having texting
relationships with them for like a month. I'm like, when you need to see me, he's like,
I'm going to need to know him through text. I think that's BS. If I was one of those chicks, I'd be like,
why doesn't this fucker just call me? Yeah. Why does he ask me out already? Like, why is
he just getting off on all the texting? Yeah. So when someone calls, I think it means
something. Yeah. Women are really impressed with that these days. Yeah. But don't be
that. Like, because become like the holy grail now. Yeah, and don't be one of those women that screen their calls and say, um, like, oh,
he's calling.
I'm not going to pick up even though you really want to talk to him.
Like women do that.
Like I had, um, just a you, huh?
Just a no, no, I go, I, I'll call and then like 10 minutes later, they get, they'll
text me.
Like call me back. I was calling you, you know, right. So I will call and then like 10 minutes later they'll text me.
Like call me back, I was calling you, you know?
They text me and they go,
hey, you called, what's going on?
And they go, no, then I reply back.
I'm not 17, I don't text conversations.
And then they call me right after I say that.
That's good, that's good.
Well, you know what the new thing is,
is that people now text someone if it's okay to call.
They're like, is it okay if I call you in five minutes?
Have you noticed that?
Yeah, what the f-man?
Skull, you got my number.
Yeah.
Although I have to say that a few years ago, and I actually talked about this in therapy
because I was going insane about this and other things, but I said to my therapist, I'm
like, I literally get like 16 to 20 phone calls a day.
This is about three, four years ago.
I feel like the tide has turned in the last two years
of people stop calling.
My phone is ringing all day long and it was jarring.
It was most, it was work stuff and friends.
And I was, it was confusing.
It's like, you have 16 new messages.
I want to put it in a heart attack.
And throw my phone over the Golden Gate Bridge.
I don't want to listen to 16 messages.
So I kind of like that people have stopped calling more,
like there's a lot of people you really don't want to talk to because it takes a more
time, sometimes the text is more efficient, but when it comes to dating and relationships,
I think it's really nice.
Like that's current guy I've been dating like from the very beginning, he's always like
picked up the phone and called me, like I like you.
My other friend is having three texting relationships that he's already like broken up with one
of the girls he's never even seen again, all through text, stupid.
Yeah.
So pick up the phone.
I got 65 voicemails.
Right now?
There's another thing.
Yeah.
When it, here's another thing.
You don't listen to your messages, do you?
Yeah.
I'll see that you had, that I had a miss call.
There's no need for you to tell me to call you.
Does the iPhone let you save that many messages?
Yeah.
Oh my God. 65 unheard messages. See, mine doesn't only let's me that many messages? Yeah. Oh my God.
65 unheard messages.
See, mine doesn't only let's me say, I have like 20 years
from that.
Yeah, I was 66 now.
Oh my God.
That would make me tense.
Just listen to me.
Just delete them all.
No, because I'm trying to build it up so much that they can't
leave a message.
Oh, okay.
That's good.
I have a lot of friends to do that too.
Okay. So. It's all back to old school communication people. I'm telling you you are gonna be
Bringing in so many chicks if you just talk to them. I think so too. What about women calling you?
Women calling me. I like that. You like it when she calls. Yeah, okay, cuz some guys aren't phone guys
They don't want the call. They don't want the anything.
They just want the text.
I think the text messaging was created for men by men.
And women love it too.
We love texting, but I think that guys just have always hated the phone.
They don't get it.
There's so many guys that I've dated that have apologized to me and said, I'm sorry,
I'm really bad on the phone.
Like, girls, from the young age, we've been talking on the phone.
Like, I spent all my teenage years on the telephone in my room for hours I had a
phone in my room before cell phones yeah and um but guys are not trained
they're like they don't like it it's awkward they're like are you calling me
to for a logistical thing and if it's not as anything to do with like anything
let's not talk can I go back to one other thing for online communication yes all
right so you always talk about oh you, you know, women, they want to be chased,
they want to be chased.
Cool.
If we talk online a couple times and you like me,
it's okay for you to send me a message first.
I don't want to be the person that has always
sending you a message because I talk to girls like,
oh, yeah, I really like you. If you really like me, then you a message because I talked to girls like, oh,
yeah, I really like you. If you really like me, then you can message me too.
Don't because I feel I feel that you don't like me because I have to keep on messaging
you. Then I feel like, okay, I don't want to message you anymore. And we're like, oh,
we kind of just fell off. Yeah, because I was always messaging you. You were always
instigating. It just seems like you weren't interested. That's a really good point.
I have to say, fuck online.
That's a great, no, I have to tell you
that I was guilty of that in a relationship last year,
that for three months I was dating this guy
and I never once initiated a phone call
or a text or an email.
And he was like, what the f do you like me or do not?
I'm like, oh, I do, but I felt like it was still new
and I wasn't sure that you like me and I didn't want to myself out there, or whatever you did? I'm like, oh, I do, but I felt like it was still new and I wasn't sure that you're like me
and I didn't want to myself out there.
What if we didn't?
It was stupid.
And now I'm trying to make a more conscious effort
to initiate that kind of communication
and not leave it all in the guy's hands.
That's a really good point.
I'm really proud of you.
I'm making a good point.
Okay, we got to wrap up this party here.
Go for it.
All right, thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily.
You can find me on Facebook and Twitter,
Sex with Emily, you can find menace at white menace.
And thanks for listening to the show.
Was it good for you?
Email me, feedback at sexwithemily.com.