Shawn Ryan Show - #22 David Rodriguez - Overcome Bullying / Getting Sober

Episode Date: March 31, 2022

Former Heavyweight Boxing Champion David Nino Rodriguez joins me on The Shawn Ryan Show to discuss how him being bullied as a child lead him to become a heavyweight boxing champion with an undefeated record of 36-0 with 34 by knockout at his prime. His first round knockout ratio surpassed every heavyweight in history to date and Nino was ranked number 12 in the world by WBA. After being stabbed in the face with a knife he tried to comeback but suffered 2 losses finishing his boxing career with a final record of 39-2. Nino speaks about his dilemma suffering from social anxiety, leading a life of sobriety, and how he is overcoming PTSD. Rodriguez is now an anti-bullying keynote speaker and best selling author of the book "When The Lights Go Out". Vigilance Elite/Shawn Ryan Links: Website - https://www.shawnryanshow.com Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/VigilanceElite TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@shawnryanshow Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/shawnryan762 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Cheers. If you ever looked into, like, some of the psychedelic treatment types. I did it all. I've done it all. Did you do it? I've done shrooms. I've done it all. You did deal with the shaman.

The shaman. The whole universe opened up for me. What do you mean by that? I just started going on this wormhole. I got thrust into a different reality. And I saw entities. That's what I guess meant. I saw things that it's like a veil was lifted. Yeah.

That helped you. It let me know there's a lot more out there than I do that. When I started knocking them out, it was like orgasm to me. It was like a fix. It was like I was getting shot up with heroin or something. It felt so good.

Every time I hurt someone and knocked him out, put him on the canvas, put him on the back. It was a dicting. It's powerful stuff, man. And I took that and I drank the whole flask. And I went back to the VIP section. I remember his face just looking at me. Like, you couldn't believe what I just did.

Started telling my friends, your friend is dying. Your friend is dying. Look at him, he's dying. I'm a purple. My neck was turning purple, and I was gassed for us having cardiac arrest. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey The Elmenio David Rodriguez. What's going on Patreon? Join me on vigilance elite Patreon for a live video teleconference. David Nino Rodriguez.

In the flesh baby. Welcome to the show. Thank you for having me Sean. Yeah. You're welcome. What what do you go about? You go about Dave David Nino. People that don't know me call me an in you right. Yeah, that's like the boxing ring name I had but people that know me

Call me Dave. So you can call me Dave. Where'd you get that? They were doing write-ups about me at a young age when I was boxing, you know, 19 years old They just call me an in you know and that stuck with me though not a very intimidating name Yeah, I'm in the in the boxing with you the whole career. It's stuck with me, not a very intimidating name. Yeah. And the boxing up with you, the whole career. It stuck with me, the whole career, man. And so it was just something that the newspaper gave me. Back when I was about nine or 10 years old, and my trainer adopted it, Louis Burke.

And he's going, Nino, just Nino. Because at that time, I had a baby face. Now it's viejo. So, you know, things change. David Viejo Rodriguez. Wait, I got you a little something. Oh, everybody that comes on. It's a little present.

Oh, nice, all right. You're going to guess. Well, never mind. This is, and you know, I'll be wearing this on my show Hell yeah, absolutely man. Thank you. Oh, and this of course a coffee mug. So yeah, you know this is gonna go a long way with me something and Man, you had to do it didn't you there yummy bears The do it didn't you? Dude, the gummy bears, the smores was amazing by the way. I got some more, you want some more? I'll think some more.

I'll think some more. Yeah, all right. Yeah, those are unreal, but this is amazing, I think Sean. Yeah, this is really cool. Thank you brother. Hey, you're welcome. But put on an extra 15 pounds of it. So you got a hell of a boxing career.

You wrote a book, you were undefeated until your last two fights, I believe. Now we just have this conversation. What do you do now? I'm a YouTuber, Sean. You know, that's a really awkward thing to say because I mean really that's what it is. It turned into that. I mean, we were talking about that on the way up here and honestly it's a strange thing.

It's very foreign, it's very aliens, I mean, I've never really, I don't even know where to categorize it. You know what I mean? It's just like an alien on my doorstep. It's it's the weirdest thing I've never thought I'd be on YouTube doing podcast or anything of that nature what happened for me happened very organically and very unexpected. It was not something that I set out to do Basically after boxing I thought well boxing careers over Getting my older ears now older years now. I'm just gonna go into commentating

Maybe train some fighters here and there, maybe do some real estate here and there, but I really had no ambition to be into the podcast business at all. So, hit me, blindsided me. What made you start it? I, that viral video I had about in 2020 talking about the human trafficking. Really? That set it off. That was like the match that led the forest on fire.

That went viral, got millions of views. Yeah. And it happened overnight, honestly. Yeah. So it was, I was just doing a Facebook Live and just casually talking about, oh yeah, there's kids and tunnels and there's a dream of chrome and this and that and the next thing you know, a thousand on a Facebook live

and then the next morning I wake up, I'm like, is this right? You know I'm just getting about 5,000, 10,000 views but I'm like, 100,000 views, what's going on here? I go, this has to be, this has to be a glitch. Yeah. Then as the day progressed, I'm like 200,000 views, 350,000 views, 400,000 views and I'm like, I delete, delete that, I'm like 200,000 views, 350,000 views, 400,000 views,

and I'm like, I delete that, I'm gonna die. You know, I was like getting very concerned for my safety. So I took that video off, but it was already copied and set out all over TikTok, all over Instagram, and I was like, okay, well, oh boy, this is either I either embrace this, or I run from this.

Go hide out in like Costa Rica somewhere. I don't know. You just don't a rant? It was just I was just it was literally I was having a cup of coffee and it was during the lockdowns and everything and I was like, you know what's really going on here? And I started talking about it. And when that happened it just caught fire. And then it was like,

took on a life of its own, be honest with you. And like I said, I prayed about it. I had to really think about what am I gonna do here? Do I want to run from this or embrace this? And I really did pray about it. And I embraced it. And I said, you know what? But I really did pray about it and I embraced it and I said, you know what? But I had no idea it was going to take me in a whole different direction with podcasting

and YouTube being and you know, things of that nature. It kind of, it took on its own life force. That's why I can explain it. It's crazy, you know, that's kind of, just fell in my lap too. I just got tired of answering emails. So I was like, I have this bright idea. I was like, you know what? I'm gonna make a video that addresses all of my frequently asked questions and then I'll never have to answer another fucking email. And that video wound up getting like five million

views. And I was like, I was like, oh shit, maybe there's something to this. Yeah, yeah. And it just, yeah, brought on a whole life of its own. Kind of like what happened for me, Sean, I wasn't expecting this, I wasn't out to do this. I hadn't, I didn't even know how to work YouTube a year ago. I didn't even know how to like work social media.

I knew I'd do a Facebook live. That was my stand on my social media. I have no Instagram. I was like barely ever on Instagram. And then when this hit, all of a sudden, literally when that, this is what scared me the most about that was when that video hit that night, my phone was losing battery with all the followers.

I was getting on Twitter, on Instagram, on YouTube, just going, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, all day, all night the next day for the weeks going on. I mean, it was stressful. I didn't enjoy it. I was like, this is not what I want. I freaked out. I was freaking out on that because I thought I had the little bit of fame, and taste of fame, and celebrity celebrity status and boxing until this hit. And I was like, this was a tension that I did not wanna get. Yeah.

I did not have any desire for this. And it freaked me out. Yeah. It freaked me out. It's weird. It's very uncomfortable, man, because social media is a different animal, because when you put yourself out there, let's say like when I was fighting,

there was not really much social media. When you put yourself out there, let's say when I was fighting, there was not really much social media. When you put yourself out there on TV and do stuff like that, and you fight on TV, you have press conferences, stuff like that, your life doesn't have a magnifying glass on it. Does to an extent, but not like now, social media, where people are posting every hour about their life, about what they ate, this and that. So people really get to dive into your life with social media

and you're exposed in every category. And you're very easily accessible. That's not how it was when I was boxing. When I was boxing, the only way you could talk to me or I could talk to somebody was during an interview like this or you know, you You have to set something up there was no DMs and and and emails like the way it is today Like you're just that much more accessible and that's kind of uncomfortable It's it's funny because you we found you've we found each other through my social anxiety video Which would both struggle with social anxiety? You have close to 250,000 YouTube subs within what two years? One year. One year and it's weird being out in the

limelight like that and it's funny because we a undefeated heavyweight boxing champ and now when people ask you what you do it's, well I'm a YouTuber. I'm a YouTuber, I'm the same way. I'm an influencer, I can't get used to those terms man, I don't want to accept them but yeah I saw your video I was I always just going through YouTube and said like oh you might like this video or whatever they do and I was watching and I was during the time I was watching a lot of sobriety videos and because that was was keeping me strong through my sobriety was

I had I'd watch YouTube videos of people that were just sober, newly sober, people that had me sober for six months, whatever. And yours was about social anxiety and I was like, well, I suffer from that. Let's see what this guy's got to say. And you were speaking on it and I was like, wow, I was like exactly what I'm going through. And this guy's a former Navy SEAL, so I thought to myself, man, I tried, that's why I reached out to you. It's like, man, come on, my show. I'd love to talk to you about this. And it helped me a lot, you know, reaching out to you and doing that video because this is where you feel really alone is whenever you quit something like alcohol with that was a lifestyle, not just something I did, but a lifestyle. You know, my whole thing was

fighting, womanizing, drinking, gambling. The whole all vices I embraced all those vices. once I could out drinking brrr everything went away and now the ups and downs that I was used to are not there anymore so when I saw your video and how you do with it I had to reach out to man I had I had to make that connection so I did well I'm glad you did this is what the third the third YouTube collab. It would have done. But it's all been really good stuff. And, uh, yeah. But, um, so just diving in your past, you started boxing at a young age because you're being bullied. Yeah.

That took on a life of its own. Now you've, then you wrote a book on anti-bullying, kind of about your life. Yeah. And, and you speak about it. And now you do this YouTube stuff and a lot of it's kind of, I mean, political, you know, and it's just, you've crushed pretty much everything you You've put your hands on it seems like in life. To include your boxing opponents. Yeah, but yeah. But what I'd like to do is kind of dive into your childhood

a little bit, see what happened, why you went the boxing around and then kind of move into some of the struggles with social anxiety, PTSD, and how it has been sober. So let's dive right in, where did you grow up? I grew up in Opaso, Texas, border town. Border see that water, so I was exposed to two countries at a very young age. It's a very highly Chicano culture, you know, Paso, very familiar, a lot of family. But, you know, you also have the disposal

of another country next to you. So, at the age of 13, 14, I got told earlier, that's when the, really what I thought was normal, but it was alcoholism at a very average. And it was normal there, you know, going to Wadis and doing constantly getting into fights and getting thrown into the Mexican jail was a way of life you know five dollars of drinking drown I mean you go to Wattis and you cross over the bridge you walked over it this was

pre-9-11 so there was no there was no paranoia and terrorist paranoia you could just walk over oh American okay go you just walk over. Oh, American, okay, go, you just walk over. You could walk over with beer. I mean, it was easy. And you walk over and kids were vomiting on the side of the road over the bridge. You know, like, I mean, it was just a party town back in that time. And starting at a very young age of 13 was how it all started. And it was rough.

Man, we go to clubs and bars and there'd be bar fights almost every weekend and we'd be a part of it somehow some way. Well before we go into that, think you started boxing at what age? Five years old. So if five years old, so you were being bullied by a girl and your old man stepped in and said, So if five years old, so you were being bullied by a girl,

and your old man stepped in and said, we saw where this is going. Yeah. So what thought where that was going best? What kind of stuff was happening with the bullying? Well, I got my ass kicked on the playground by a girl when I was like five years old, and that was like, obviously very traumatizing for me. The way it happened, you know, I kind

of hit it for my father. I was coming home every day with a bloody nose black guy. The girl was much bigger than me. I was five years old. She was actually 25. She was like 14. No, she was like about eight or nine years old, but yes, she was beating me up every day and it was humiliating. I was coming home and hiding in my room and whatever. And my dad knew something was up. He knew the gig was up. And one day my sisters followed me to the park and saw what was happening. And I had very protective sisters, older sisters. And they stuck up for me and called her some really bad names. And took me back home to home.

My dad, what was happening? My dad was like, uh, that's no son of mine. It's going to be bullied much less by a girl. So he took me to the boxing gym. And when he did that, it was terrifying. Because he took me to the boxing gym and when he did that, it was terrifying because he took me to a real boxing gym, not like this commercialized shit you see today. You know, the real boxing days back then was in the ghetto. It was the slums of Opacil where they had the city gyms, all the tough little Chicano

kids would go and I remember the first day I walked into a boxing gym, I was crying. My dad just left. Walked me in, gave me to his friend Tom McKay, who I always called affectionately my uncle, and he pulled me aside and started teaching me how to wrap my hands and I was just looking around in this atmosphere and kids that were eight or nine years old, I could not believe fighting like dogs and the ring, bloody bloody fighting each other. I'm sitting there going This is what my dad wants me to do and like a little A little pussy I started crying bawling for my dad come back come back

I did five five visuals I did not want to be there and I saw these kids that looked to me like monsters I do early eight or nine years old, but they're in the ring Punching each other, blooding each other up, fighting like two pit bulls. And I was never seen anything like that as a kid. Uh, so it was like he just threw me into the water and just left me, you know, and, and, and, and, um, being there,

you know, I started learning the trade and, and through the years, uh, I still got picked on a lot. I didn't really come into my own to about high school. Even though I was excelling at boxing, you got picked on all the way up to high school about middle about junior high. Junior high. We get just fast forward to that. Junior high. So junior high I was eating my lunch and a stall, bathroom stall in the gymnasium because

I didn't want to go outside to get my ass kicked. That's how many kids wanted to beat me up. They heard I was the boxer kid, but I was still, I still felt like a coward. I didn't really, I wasn't really sparring yet in the ring. I wasn't, I was hitting the mits and looking really good on the mits and the bag,

but I never really tested my, my spirit. You know, I didn't know what kind of fear, spiting, fighting spirit I had. So, a lot of kids wanted to test me in school. And they made it a living nightmare for me, it was hell. I mean, I was not, I was a tall kid, but I wasn't a built kid.

I was skinny. I was uncoordinated. I was going through an awkward phase of my life. And there was just so many kids, I wanted to kick my ass. What, why did they, they just wanted to kick your ass? It was just, I was like the big whettled, the white boy, the, you know, everyone else, you gotta remember at my school,

it was the, we had kids from the suburbia going to school there and the projects. So we had gangs and, and many times after the bus stop, man, I had to run my ass home, they'd be chasing me, you know, and they were down in the lower area like Machuka, Jackie's projects. We all went to school together. And so it was a different kind of element, you know what I mean? So I was constantly living in fear. I was constantly getting threats that they were going to what my ass I did get my ass kicked a few times in junior high.

And that happened consistently, but you know, you can only kick a dog so much. You can only punch a dog so much until finally just one day, just one day. Like that I flipped. And I just, I was like, what, what took so long? Next thing you know, I will worry when you finally flipped. I was about 16. What were they saying today? I saw a kid that beat me up in school

in Hawaii at the club at a bar. And I walked up to my good memory of me and he goes, ah, you fucking pussy, whatever he said. Cracked him, and it was over. One punch. And then he was knocked out. And then after that I was like, because I knew what kind of power I had.

And then after that I was like, this, that's never gonna happen again to where people mess with me. Then I was like a big guy, 65, two, you know, at that time, 230, with a little man complex. So it's like I had this weird combination of like, don't look at me the wrong way, I might get you. You know what I mean? Like I was very, it was just the natural, for me I looked back and I think this was probably the natural response for me, picked on so much and beaten up so much as a kid that of course the next thing over, now I turned into like the bully. You did turn it into a fight?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I turned into like, I was mad at everybody. Would you go out and pick fights? No, I would just punch people to talk with you. For a while, my friends would just, oh, that guy looked at you, or I would, boom, and hit him. You know what I mean?

I like not even think about it. Yeah. And then that's the way it was for a while. Only because it was insecurity, man. When you get down to it, it was insecurity. I was insecure. Being picked on on my life led to me becoming that person and then ultimately having a really stellar boxing career. But that boxing career

was based out of insecurity. Let's just be honest. I'm going to be honest on your show. That was insecurity. You know, whenever you see someone, you know, I't going to name my book, Bullied Into Champion, because all of boxing for me was just the natural response to show that I wasn't a coward. Because I was terrified of being a coward. I hated living those years so much, so badly being picked on, knowing that I didn't want to fight anybody. It was sick of being picked on You know for years that I had to hide away into a bathroom stall that I had it it was almost like my boxing career was to prove I was never gonna be that guy again

Does that make sense? It makes perfect sounds like I just I had to prove to the world that I'm not that coward and That's how that turned out and my career was unblemished for 36 fights. I was knocking everybody out. I didn't know how good I really was and I was surprising myself with every fight. I was like oh my gosh another first one I'm out got another first one I'm out got another first one and then it was freaky me out. I was like how am I, I was going through people like a knife through butter, like I didn't know how I was doing it. And as that persisted and kept going, the pressure started getting to me. And I was like, holy shit, I'm $2,000, you know, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000,

$2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, $2,000, 25 and 30 and oh like and I'm winning belts Then realistic expectations started getting put on me unrealistic expectations And no matter who I was fighting I started having this unrealistic expectation that I needed to knock them out in the first round Like Mike Tyson. I've got to beat the record. I've got to hold the first I'm the king of the first rounders I got to knock everybody out and that was ultimately would have added so much pressure onto me that led to

alcohol and drugs That's a lot of pressure. Yeah, I mean To deal with and and the Mexican culture in boxing is very unforgiving. Once they have docked you as one of their own and you're the I used to call myself the the great white Mexican. You know, it's like almost like the great white hope but it's but now you the Mexican people demand a lot more from you and you're fighting for country and pride and that is what ultimately I believe made me fold. So were you fighting for Mexico? Basically, I mean, I was the Mexican

heavyweight champ. I won the Mexican heavyweight championship, the WBC Mexican heavyweight championship. I mean, I was fighting for the pride of Mexico. I had that pride in me. I fought under Rolaregas, which was my roots And that and but you know when I it got to my head because every time I knocked somebody out would come out And sign autographs people are like oh we come to see you do one thing We were all just betting on when you're gonna knock them out what round? You know first two rounds first round and that started getting to me and it was too much pressure Yeah, too much because not only did I have to win, now I had to knock them on the first round, no matter who I fought.

Yeah. And that to me was, it was unattainable. That's what ultimately, that's what made me crash and burn. Right there, boom, that was it. I couldn't, I couldn't, it was, the world was on my back and I couldn't do it any longer. And that's what I resorted to. The booze, the women, escapisms, women, booze, drugs. What kind of drugs?

Everything. Everything? Everything, man. What have you not done? Ha ha ha. Sean, I've done it all. Done all of it. Yeah.

Uppers, downers. Uppers, downers, all of the drunkers. Pharmaceuticals. Yeah. I was your drug of choice. Molly. Molly. Molly mixed with some alcohol.

I would even pop an ad or all. I would mix drugs. Anything to get me out of my reality. Yeah. And it got to the point that if I wasn't blacking out, then I wasn't doing a good job in partying And you know, and you don't want to see a guy my size Not control himself start falling

Swing back and forth people get out of the way that getting ready to yell timber. It was bad and I'd wake up on the floor to borrow sometimes In a jail cell not knowing how I got there thinking of shit, did I kill somebody? Did I knock somebody out and hurt them? What did I do? That this was happening more and more consistently, especially in my early 30s. Before we get too far into that, let's take it back to childhood. So your dad put you in boxing because you were getting bullied you fucking excelled at that at a phenomenal pace Did your dad know that you had kind of turned into the bully You've been ashamed of me. Yeah, so no, he never he never knew he always wanted me to stick up for myself But the point that I got to where I was just picking people out to knock them out at a bar.

Was something he would have been ashamed of. But for me, it was I was trying to prove myself. Yeah, to me. At the end of the day, the race was with yourself. I was trying to prove to myself. That's really what happened. And it was based on insecurity, man. That's all I can say. It was my own insecurities that were making me do that.

I felt like I had to do it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because I had developed such a complex as a young kid that it cultivated into my literary years into being a complete piece of shit asshole. All of it, all of the drugs, the alcohol, all of it were escapisms, stemming from insecurities. And the fact that I'm able to come on here, show now and talk about this and bear my soul to people who are watching this is because I realize what it was and I want to help other

people deal with their own demons. And I can be used as an example of what not to do. I'm not ashamed of that. And I am a Christian. I believe in God and I believe I'd be doing it in justice if I didn't tell my story. When you were in the bar versus in the rain, preparing for a fight, was it the same for you or, you know what I mean? You mean what you used to kind of pump yourself up?

Anger. Anger. I was mad. What would you think about? I was just mad all the time, man. I guess it just, uh, I developed this anger. I was always pissed off. I hated my life. I hated that I was picked on so much. I hated that I had to, that I would eat my lunch in the bathroom stall. I hated it. I hated that person. I hated me. So when I knocked somebody out in a bar something, I felt better about myself.

But really, I hated that person. I hated me. So when I knocked somebody out in a bar suddenly I felt better about myself. But really I hated myself. Duh. And even that was even in boxing. I was always trying to prove something to nobody else but me. Every time, every fight, it was all stand from my turbulent childhood or like the trauma I endured in childhood. I think a lot of, I don't know what to call, to say maybe overachievers or people that find success and extreme success and what they're doing.

You know, they feel that pressure and it is, it just, it never ends, you know, and I mean, honestly, that's why, you know. No, but it's ended for me now. Yeah. Once I retired from boxing and ended, once that was put to bed, my life changed. Now, what about the competitiveness though? Dude, I'm not competitive at really anything really. No, man. I'm chill like I did all that. I'm done I know what I did

I'm cool like I thought I was at there the best of them top 10. I'm over it I there's nothing to be I don't I already did it It's like you being a seal you do it. You don't have that you don't have that insecurity of having to do more You're just like fuck. I did you know I'm done you know I don't even care if I you know pick up basketball games or whatever I don't care I don't care if you beat me in pool cool high-five I don't care you know I just don't care you know I just want to enjoy my life now I don't you know I do my little podcast I do what I do I tell you what I do care about, I care about the direction

that this country is going. And you know, that's for me, another arena that I'm fighting in. But for the most part, I'm not competitive anymore. Not like I used, not even close to what I used to be. And I have to think of this. Alright, let's take a quick break. Let me get on my cold. Does it go in good though?

Yeah. Hey guys, let me tell you about this subscription service that I've been working real hard on called Vigilance Elite Patreon. Basically on Patreon, we haven't broken up into three different tiers. We've got tier one, tier two, and tier three. Let's dive in. Our tier one patrons get all the behind-the-scenes footage of the Sean Ryan show. That could include

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So thank you for all the support. See you on Patreon. Alright, so we're back from the break. Before we kind of move into adulthood, you witnessed in your book a lot of kind of traumatizing type stuff going into Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. Juarez. And high school going into, well, it should have been going into college, but nobody did that. We're pretty rowdy. We're really rough group of guys. You know, we were doing a lot of illegal stuff. Smuggling steroids over border.

And I'm talking about in the tens and thousands of dollar range. I would die in high school, I did a few drug runs where I would drop them off in Iowa, Cricky, Phoenix. Well, I was still cars. Oh, shit. Yeah, I stole a lot of cars, man. To the point that we were making good money, not only just throwing parties over in Mexico,

but we were also stealing cars, and I mean, you'd get a fake ID, go to a car lot and I'm your fake ID let me take it out on a test ride and Max and see ever see me again So you would you would know an El Paso you would take the take them from the car lot and just go to up them off and want it No shit. Yeah, I would make I do making out of that nothing 2,500 to give us but we were just kids So we thought it was the greatest thing so you would steal a car for two thousand dollars. Yeah, who was it was more for the adrenaline rush Well, I totally I I get the adrenaline. Yeah, that's the only reason I really didn't need the money. Well, what were you? Hold on so how old were you were even 16 14 14 years old Running steroids and stealing cars. Yep, what else were you doing?

Running drugs running drugs. Yeah, what kind of drugs? weed Coke coke. Yeah, how much they wouldn't tell me they would just pack the trunk and I would take you to a place in Avocrukey or wherever and I would take you to a place in Albuquerque or wherever and a lot of my friends are doing the same thing and there's a way we were making money. Growing up in the border was way different than anywhere else in America. Sounds like it. Yeah.

And it was normal. I didn't think of it as anything illegal. It was just what we did. All my friends were doing it. I had friends that were, you know, I knew kids and Huat is that we're already hitmen, that we're killing people. I knew that in the boxing gym people would talk, you go to the boxing gym and Huat is Mexico or go to the gym there and you know who I was doing what, you know.

So let's go through each one of these. So you were running steroids, you were stealing cars and you were running narcotics. Yeah. Like how the fuck do you even get involved in that as a 14 year old kid? Who approached you? Let's go start with the cars. Do you know, well, my kids, my friends, I didn't have parents really. I don't know, there were a lot of kids that were had broken families, and they didn't have a way to make money. So, and they had cousins that lived in Hottest,

and this and that, so I talked to the, you know, we talked to, you know, we're got around, and then, oh, you make money, do that? I can do that, let's go do it. And then, you know, you're making a fake idea at your friend's house taking it over to dealership hey let me take this on a test drive oh no problem brand new Mustang perfect let me have that let me take that around the block I'll be right back what we have is ID gone no shit yeah and

it but you can't do it long because it gets out, the word gets out. Kids are coming with fake IDs, taking the cars. So we would hit three dealerships in a day and then not do it again. Okay, so walk me through every step of how this happens. So you run with a crowd, you run with a poor crowd. Yeah, they were poor. Some of my friends had a lot of money And but they didn't do the stuff. I had two sets of friends I had friends out of money. They were there were mainly into like doing drugs

Right, because they had the money to buy the stuff so they're doing drugs Then I had friends that were into mischief and problems because they didn't have money So they had to do the legal criminal stuff to make money and because they didn't have money. So they had to do the legal criminal stuff to make money. And that's, for some reason, that attracted me more than anything. But I will say this, that of all the stuff that I was doing, all the stuff that I was doing,

the thing that saved me was boxing. That saved my life. Because then I started realizing I like to go into the boxing gym more so than getting in trouble. And that's what saved me. So I left that life through boxing. So boxing did, you know, as turbulent and as tough as boxing was, it did save my life. Interesting.

So what the cars? You and your friends, roughly how many? Usually about three or four of us. Would have three dealerships a day? How many cars is that? No, we only did that twice. Okay. How many cars?

I did about three cars. They did about four or five. They did more than me. Cause they needed them. I was doing it just people just one day. Two days, but I would take about a day or two to do it. We did all the adulcers, get them all mocked out quick so they have no time to find out what's going on,

kind of, you know, everything's very confusing, and then don't go back and do it again. And then it got to the point, well I go to the YMCA where my dad was playing rack, this is how I got caught ultimately. I went to the YMCA and my dad is playing rac...this is how I got caught ultimately. I went to the YMCA and my dad was playing raccoball. He played raccoball, you know, and they put all their bags out outside of the raccoball court. So, all the people that he was playing raccoball with, and you go down the line, all the raccoball courts would be taken up and they'd ever want to leave their bags out with their glove and their keys their keys so

when my friends would go and take the keys and take the cars well everybody's car was missing except my dad's I thought you were gonna say you stole your dad's fucking car I did it well but what are your friends did no we used to well the way we got caught that time was that all the cars were missing except my dad's car. So they knew, like, oh gee, your son was here earlier today. You know what I mean? And that's how I got caught. That's how ultimately I got caught. And I had to return all the cars, which I did.

How many, how many, how many, how many were you doing this? Years, months, months? No, I just months months and then that time at the YMCA when I got caught I think I think we took two cars and then the rest we just stole the stereo systems and did all that Holy shit, and I was very lucky lucky they didn't press charges only. So who were you selling the cars to? You just take it to a warehouse in the strip and don't. Also, you would drive them in the back. You just drive them in and then you take a bus back home or

or to the cab or whatever. How many cars would you bring it once? I could only bring one at a time because I was driving. Well, I guess I'm not like what could only bring one at a time because I was driving it. I guess I'm not like what you're doing. During a day I'd put it in like two or three. Two or three at a time. Yeah, and like I said, it was easier back then to cross over and do stuff like that. But I did, you know, but like I said, if it wasn't for boxing, I would have been, I probably would have continued down that path and it would have been very ugly for me.

Yeah. You know, what about the drugs? How did you get roped into the drugs? Found out my friends were making good money doing that, being runners and I only did that twice. I didn't stick around and stay in that game because I was like, man, I was too scared. I did it the first time and I felt like I, you know, going through the checkpoints and like I just got, I was nervous, wrecked and I just did not want to keep doing it.

So I just did it twice. Are you willing to go into like a descriptive, so walk us through it. You go to Mexico now, you know, you're going to pick up a load of Coke or marijuana. They wouldn't even tell me that it'll just take this, take this from point A to point B. Who's they? The people I don't, just the people I was doing with over there. I was a kid. They always got young kids into the shit because it's like they're more impressionable. They need the money whatever. And then I would just take it, it wouldn't have to go far. I would just go to Albuquerque or Phoenix or you know

I never really went that far and then take a city bus back or a bus back home. Who would pay it? They would They were always short I was like this is not one of the promised but you know it was it was just the day in the life back then And that was like I thought that was normal. I thought all kids are doing this. No shit. Yeah, because where I grew up, that's to me was, what we did, me and my buddies.

And all my friends also were like, I honestly think they were crazier than I was. Way crazier than I was. All my friends were way crazier than I was. I feel like I would step over the line, but I would come back. You know, I didn't really, you grow up on the border towns, especially at that time, seeing a lot of violence. We walk over a bridge and you'd see bodies hanging sometimes.

It was crazy over there, man, but that became normal. That was just like, you get desensitized to it. You'd hear of a club getting shot up, you'd still go back to that club the next weekend in party. I don't know how I got away with all that. What is, as I got older, got a lot more dangerous throughout the years. And now you couldn't pay me to go over there anymore.

I mean, I know some people that still go there, and they can have more power to them, but I'm not going there. Yeah. What about the steroids? So what would you do? Just go... Yeah, there's a pharmacies. Where I'm out. Yeah. I had a friend that uh well we went and we would go

most of the time we bought him right but there was a one time where he he went and he uh robbed the place and strapped duct tape the person onto a chair and the pharmacist or whatever and took about like $20,000 of the shit and put it in a box and he put it in the back of his truck and okay so when that happened I wasn't with him. He dropped me out for the bar I met some girls I was having fun at the bar he went and robbed the place, came back he said hey man let's go back over I was like all right I thought he went just gonna go buy me some stuff I look in the back of his truck and there's a huge pox full of juice and The probably 50,000 all-arrange. Oh, guess. I don't know. I'm just guessing Yeah, and all he did was throw a rag on top of the book and on top of the car war box

It was out in plain sight in the back in the back of the pickup With a rag on top of it and a starter on it like a from a truck a starter on it And I'm like what's in the box and as we're driving over the bridge well I just he told me what he did he robbed the pharmacy and I was like you're kidding me and you have it just right there in the back of the pickup like this and playing set he was you have blue it's obviously won't check it because it's just out and playing set like that watch and I was like oh my I remember that was like an eternal trip going over that bridge of sweating.

Couldn't get out of the car because then it'd be suspect out of his truck. And so when we were coming over, they just looked at it and go, yeah, go right over. I could not believe it. It was like, if we would have been busted with that, I would have gone to Jill for a long time

Just being a part of that. I didn't even go in there rob the pharmacy with them. I was just But I was with them, right? So There's been a lot of close calls that really Diverted my path from going down a life of Of that of crime and then shit like that and boxing was the thing that saved me. When you got the steroids back over were you a part of kind of streaming now? Not that time because he did that all on his own so I didn't and in fact when he told me I was freaking out I was like I can't be hanging out with this guy. I was my conscience was starting to

kick in like I think I was about 17 at that time, 17, 18, I was like, man, this is getting out of hand. You know, and I was already fighting amateur, and I was wanting to go pro, so I was like, I started like stepping away from that crowd. I don't know what a real career you had to put in. Yeah, I was like, man, I got a promise, I could have a promising life here, and so I saw where all those guys were going,

and I was like, I just don't wanna, I started distancing myself from those guys at about 17 years old. I think God, I woke up to it. You know, but it was like, you know, it took us, it took us almost getting caught at the bridge, bro. We were crossing over a lot, and it was one of the, that was the last time I crossed over anything, was,

we went to the pharmacy and bought a whole bunch of them, about about $5, dollars worth of steroids and I was in my dad's car and It was a black Lincoln town car with tinted windows look like a mafia car And and the first thing that happens when we go to the this is how this went down I Parked the Lincoln town car in front of the pharmacy. We go and buy all the steroids. We come out Not noticing that someone ripped off my license plate. So they stole my license plate when I was there.

That's how we got. So, so I'm too busy putting the steroids in the back of the seat, the back of the Lincoln Town car seat, the back seat where you can lift it up, and then shut it. So I put it all in there and I shut it. And I get into the front seat and my friend gets in the front seat and I go you want a driver? Should I drive a little drive? Alright, so he's driving my car and I'm my dad's car and I'm sitting there and as we're going over the bridge, I'm like man, I don't feel good about this. And he's like, I don't either. I was like, fuck. I was like,

hold on. I jump back in the back seat as we're driving over the bridge. I pull up in the back seat and I grab all the stuff out of there and I'm like, dude, I'm gonna put it under this seat. So I put it under my front seat and I put it under his seat and then we're sitting there and for about another five minutes as we're driving over, I'm like, I don't feel good about this either. And he's like, I don't either. I'm like, oh man. So I take it out and I start taking the steroids out of the boxes and throwing the boxes outside of the car like an idiot. So now we're going over the bridge and we're dumping steroid boxes out on the bridge

as we're putting this stuff in our pants. So now our pants are like this. Looks like that. And we're crossing over and if you just touch it it goes like a clicking sound like the plastic. So we're like outfitted now with juice all in our pants right here. But this whole time I didn't know that someone ripped off my license plate. We get over to the bridge and into the American side and the guy goes, uh, who's car is this? And I go, it's mine,

my friend's driving, my dad's car. Really? You guys't steal this car? And I'm like, we're talking about. He goes, you don't have a license plate. I go, what? And I get out and I look and I go, oh man, someone just ripped it off. He goes, yeah, I heard that story before he could pull over. And I'm like, oh shit. So we pull over.

And they come up, they go, what are you guys doing in where is Mexico? And I was like, oh, we came here to, we dropped our friends off at the airport. Where are your friends going? Mazelon. Okay, and we're trying to back just cool as cucumbers, right? And they're like, well, okay, so you guys smell like alcohol, you guys drinking too? And I'm like, oh yeah, we stopped at the bar. I got some, we got a little bit, you know, blah, blah. And then we're just sitting there like sweating both of us look pale but we're still acting like no big deal

And I'd be both know we're stashed. We have tons of steroids in our shirts and pants, you know what I mean? So the guy goes, hey you mind if I bring my dog in here? The dog the sniffy dog And I was like, I don't think they can smell steroids, but I don't know. We're looking looking at them. I'm like, yeah, go ahead We get out they let the dog in the car. The first place they look was the back seat. They open that up where I had them in the first place. Dogs in there looking around sniffing.

Then they go and look under, like they saw everything I did. They look under the seats. And then on my coats, it's only a matter of time before they're gonna search us. They go, okay, step out, we already had to be going to the step over to the side. So we step over to the side.

There's a metal like a Desk or something right there and they go empty out your pockets So we empty out our pockets and I am down my pockets and he empties out his pockets And I see the first thing that lands on the desk is a pharmacy card with the pharmacist's number on it And I remember going oh my god the parmits this number on it. And I remember going, oh my God, I'm just standing there. I'm looking at the customs guy and I'm like,

as soon as he looked away, boom, grab it, put in my pocket. And he goes, all right, and he's looking through our stuff and then he goes, I'm gonna patch you guys down. Oh, shit. Yeah, and I was like, and I looked at my friend and I go, fuck, like we're going to jail. So I put my hands up and he passed me down.

Well, as he was patting me down, he went over, tried to go over the front. I turned like this and he went on my sides. And then I looked at my buddy and I go do the same thing. And he pat it him down and he turned. And I couldn't believe it. It both worked, it worked for both of us. He pat it him down and he turned and I couldn't believe it. It worked for both of us. He batted in down and did the same thing and a guy was like okay you guys can go and we're like oh thank you I know problem we get in the car and we take off and we drive about three blocks up we get out and we're like

so fucking scared like I was like I'm never doing this again. God, listen to me, I'm never doing this again. This is it, and that was it for me. That was it. That was the last time I ever did anything really illegal to be honest with you. That was it. I was so, I was like, what am I going to do to my parents?

How long am I going to go to jail for? Yeah. Like, you know, everything was going through my mind as we were crossing over. All because someone stole my license plate. It was over there. And dude, like that, that was like the shift. That's when I just started immersing myself in boxing because I was like, I'm too old for this shit. I was like 17, 18, I'm like, I can't keep doing this. This is fucking gonna get me killed or in jail. So that's how that ended.

Like then and there. I don't know if it ended for my friend, but it ended for me. You keep attached with any of those guys? I mean, I haven't talked to him in like four years. You know, we'd talk to base every now and then, how's it going? How are you doing?

But I don't know what he's doing. I don't know a lot of them are doing a lot of them are in jail, some are dead. You know, it catches up to you. You know, you know, it's a, it was a wild ride, man. It was a wild ride. Sounds like it. Yeah So how do you think boxing saved you that was Got your fall back plan or because no it wasn't a plan

It was just I just always followed my heart man It just felt good to go to the gym every day and train and and I just saw how I was just progressing and how good I was getting My left hook was the best in boxing for the long of time. I not growing me. I was not getting grown me now at 13 years old. And I was 13 years old. Cracking dudes that played football for U-TEP. I would come and do like a summer training camp and my trainer would go, hey, me hope, come here. And he'd glove me up because he'll knock this fucker out. And then, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, crack them these out. I was like, okay, and then being, being, being, being, being, cracking me out. And I just had the way I just didn't know how to throw a punch. I had the, it's technique.

Boxing is all technique. Nothing about strength. Nothing about, you know, big ear physically, it's about, it's a golfing. How you hit a golf ball? It's the same thing. And I learned at a very young age, I had a killer lift hook, and I could, I had fast hands, and I was, a very young age, I had a killer lift hook, and I had fast hands, and I had great timing. And I just blossomed in the boxing.

Just took off. And when I started knocking out people, like 13, 14 years old, 15 years old, 16, 17, when I started knocking them out, it was like a orgasm to me. It was like a fix. It was like I was getting shot up with heroin or something. It was thought so good. Every time I hurt someone and knocked him out, put him on the canvas, put him on the back. It was a dicting.

The most a dicting thing I've ever done in my life. Like that to me was just everything, man. It was like, that was my drug of choice, was whenever I was, it's almost like hitting a home run like crack well, that was my drug of choice. Whenever I was, it's almost like hitting a home run, like, cracking, that perfect. Boom. When you land that shot, and it's just the most addicting feeling. Do you know when you connect?

Oh, yeah. You just see the whole body fold, and it just feel it. It's the timing's right, the precision's right. It's an, it just feel, it's the timing's right, the precision's right. It's an amazing feeling. And I was addicted to it. So you said we'll kind of pumped you up or, you know, we'll catch you in the mind. So I wish you were just angry all the fucking time. In the beginning, did you hate your opponents?

Yeah. In the beginning. In the beginning. And then the hatred and anger and frustration turned into the love for the sport. And I really did fall in love with boxing. But that lasted 10 years. And then I started falling out of boxing, out of love with boxing.

And that's when my career went down the tubes quick. Because the pressure got to me, everything got to me, and I no longer wanted to train as hard. I no longer wanted to fight. I wanted to just drink and party and be with women and do drugs. Well, we'll get to that. Yeah, yeah.

We'll get to that. But what age were you when you became when you started fighting on the pro circuit? Turn pro it 20 going on 21 and then you're a pro for how long? 15 years. 15 years. Yeah. All the way to 35. Yeah. That's when I started going downhill. all the way to 35. Yeah, that's when I started going downhill. Because I was a very explosive fighter and I was a big guy. So being, I had a Mike Tyson style at a 65 frame. It was weird.

It didn't make any sense. I should have been sitting back on my jab and throwing the right hand and boxing better, but I didn't do that. I was very, very explosive. I used my whole body to punch. And you only last so long, who would that kind of style? Because especially being a big guy, I would have had a longer career if I would have set back

on my jab and throw my right hand more and moved pivoted, box beautifully, I didn't do that. I was explosive. And that's the way I wanted to fight because I had a lot of inner demons that I wanted to get out into the ring. And that's why I had that style and it only lasts a long you know it's it's a style that you have to have quick reflexes cat-like reflexes you have to be explosive and

Once you get older when you start getting older and that starts going diminishing a little bit your Stepper two slower you start getting hit a little bit more It's only matter of time if we did knocked knocked out. That's what happened to me. When you talk about inner demons, a lot of the people on the show deal with inner demons, you know, to include myself. I kind of describe it as more of like a feeling than an actual, than an actual thoughts, but how would you describe it and where did it come from? My demons? Yeah.

You know, I've thought about seeing a hypnotist about this, I don't know. I, um, I think they had to have come from childhood. Um, I do believe in a dark evil energy, and I do believe demons are parasitic and I do believe if you let them, they'll rob you everything including you, rob you from everything including your soul, if you let them. So with me, I have a lot of demons and I still do to this very day.

I just named him. I don't I've accepted them and said, okay, this is part of my life. I can live in denial and pretend like they're not there, but that's not going to do me any good. I'll just find a way to escape drinking whatever. So now I just acknowledge them and I just listen to God. I move forward to God. And the first step for me, for beating my demons, was the quit drinking. And that's really, it gave me the tools to better combat them. Not so they don't go away. People need understanding, they don't go away. It's just you have better tools to combat them and deal with them.

That's it. Life doesn't get easier because you're sober. It's just better tools in order to face down their demons. Were they like specific thoughts of specific instances or was it more like I mean, I mean, I think they all go back to childhood at some point. I'd like to find out more, to be honest with you. I'd like to go see hypnotists and see what fuck really happened in my life. But I just don't know why I was more so than any of my friends that I know that I was so dark or suicidal at times. Like I don't know why I wanted to take my life. There are times I wanted to take my life. I can't pinpoint it to a time or anything like that. It's just weird.

I like my teenage years I was really fucking depressed. Like fucking bipolar severely depressed. Did you know how you were going to take your life? Did you have it all planned out? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was always going to do a construction ahead. Um, but the only thing that took me away from that was boxing, but it took something in that extreme boxing

to really pull me away from even thinking about taking my life. Because now I was already putting myself in danger. I was already getting in the ring with these men I wanted to take my head off so I was like, well you know, there was some kind of self destructive mechanism in me that I didn't understand. I didn't fully understand why I was doing the things I was doing. Why was I stealing cars? Why was I crossing drugs? Why was I doing any of that? Why was that what is going on with me that I needed to do that to fulfill something? Still don't to this day. I still don't know. I don't know. If you saw it on a treatment, yeah, I

I saw a psychiatrist. I saw a psychiatrist for a long time that was talking to me and He became a good friend and He would walk me onto the ring, pleaded or not. No shit. He started sending him a long time ago. Yeah, I started seeing him at 13. Wow. I gotta say he'd probably saved my life. You know, still come up to the combination with boxing. I haven't talked to him in the last two years. I think we have some differences with the whole vaccination thing and he's a doctor so he sees it completely different than I do and it's weird. It's like we haven't talked

just because of that issue, that dividing issue. That sucks, man. Yeah, that sucks. That's really strange. If you ever looked into like some of the psychedelic treatment types. I did it all. Did you do it? Did you do it? You've done shrooms?

I've done it all. If you done it like through a... A shaman? I don't know. You did do it with a shaman. Yeah. Did that help you a lot? Yeah, it let me know.

There's a lot more out there that I do not know. Where was that? I've done it in different places. The first time I did Ayahuasca, I was in two the consequences in New Mexico. The strangest place to do that. And I did that with a shaman. It was a group of us and we all drank it and sure shit man. I just like after about, after an hour of drinking I said, I really didn't do anything.

I thought, oh, this stuff is not working. And then I said I had a puke and I went and puke and when I came back, boom! The whole universe opened up for me. What do you mean by that? I just started going on this wormhole. Like it just like, zoot. I got thrust into a different reality. And I saw entities. That's right, I guess, man. I saw. And I saw entities, best for against planet.

I saw entities, I saw a sacred geometry, just being thrown at me, I saw the markable, I saw the shaman when he was meditating, I saw orange coming out of his forehead, like a bright color orange coming out of his forehead. I saw things that, it's like a veil was lifted. And when I saw that, I was like, okay, there's way more to this matrix than I even know and that's when I was like wow

like you know and the entities that I saw were entities that didn't make the they made total sense when I was looking at it but I can't describe them to you there was colors that I saw that I can't I can't even describe the colors I'm really interested in this because I'm getting ready to do this treatment. I don't know if it cures anything, but I know what it does, what it did do for me was it made me realize there's a hell of a lot more to this reality

than we even know. It's almost like taking a part of watch and looking at the inner workings of the watch and saying, Oh, that's how it works. It's almost like you kind of see this, this, you get this, you see the cosmic math of the universe. And that's what blew my mind was that whatever this is, the pineal gland opening up, whatever the third eye, there's something to it, it happened. And I know it wasn't me, having delusions or anything.

It was real. I saw it, I didn't see it with my eyes. I saw it with my third eye. Your third eye is a real thing. And I saw everything coming at me. It was amazing. How many times have you done this? Three times.

Same place every time. And the other times there's in Colorado. No shit. With a shaman up there, you give you this information to be on it. Yeah, I would love to have it. Yeah. He's a good dude. With that, you smoke it.

It's called Jarena. Jarena. And you smoke it and then you lay back and he puts a cloth over your eyes and you lay down and you just get blasted through the universe. Same type of the Iowaska last longer and you get sick because you purging and then you go into your but this is is a quick little 10 minute rocket shit. Last about 10 minutes and then you're back. Do you have a preference? What I like to smoking it. Yeah. I don't like to get sick and do all that you know, I mean yeah Do you feel like that helped you at all or

A lot of guys say I think the only thing that helps the only thing that helps me now honestly Sean Is my belief in God. Yeah, that's it. I mean you can do all the drugs you want you can do whatever But the bottom line is is do you have a relationship with God? And I do. As much as I can, I can't get work on that. But my whole thing now is I have no desire to go to DMT again. I have no desire to do any of that. Any of the shit I used to do. I have no desire because now I'm building on my relationship with God. And that's it. That's what's real. That's the silver lining. You know, and that's what I'm doing. That's what I'm trying to do. He is a wise old man once told me this. He said,

seek, listen, obey. Seek, listen, and then obey. And that's what I'm trying to do now. Seek, God, listen, and then obey. That's just the way I'm trying to do now. To seek God, listen, and then obey. That's just the way I'm trying to live my life now. I don't want to, all the crazy shit aside, that's done. It's done. Now I'm just trying to build a personal relationship with God and Jesus Christ.

You know, that's it. Good for you. Back to boxing. Yeah, I know. It went down our own little rabbit hole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, um, so you excelled, you became a phenomenal boxer, you know, went from five to what, 35 years old, ish?

Yeah, the last five years for me was, was hell. I hated it. I was actually looking for a way out and I think my higher self or whatever you want to call it found a way out and I told you in 2011 I overdosed on drugs, flatlined. They brought me back to the defibrillator. What drugs? Everything. Everything. Okay, let's put it this way. I just knocked out my, uh, Matt Hicks,

and my friends in Dallas were throwing me a party at one of the clubs out there. Right after the fight, I went into my dressing room. I had a six pack of my locker. After the fight, I started downing all the beers. Then I went to the bars that night, got a shit-based hammer taking to Kiela Shots, whatever. The next day I had to fly out, wake up with a hangover, fly out to Dallas for the party, already drinking in the morning. Get to the airport, they almost didn't let me board the plane, because I was so drunk. Get on the plane, they wouldn't serve me because they're like,

they've already been drinking. I've reeked from high heaven like a liquor cabinet. Get to Dallas, my friends picking me up. What are they picking up with? More alcohol. And Adderall. So now I'm taking Adderall and alcohol. Well, I also had pain pills in my pocket from the fight.

Because I think I broke my hand or something. My hand is fractured. So like, man, it's swelling up on me. So I took a handful of pain pills, a handful of pain pills and took those. Then I went with them and took an out of roll and kept just kept drinking Gregus and Gregus, that's what it was. Went to the party that night, wasted already, could stumbling into the club, and I can't believe they let me in, they shouldn't have. They let me in the club, and we have our own little section.

We get in there, and I hardly remember anything of that night. I just remember somebody coming up to me to the flask. And I remember him specifically, say he was a body builder guy, he's like, just take a cap full of this. It was GHB Why didn't nobody was saying? I just said yeah, whatever grab the whole flash I drink and all and Once I drank that it was over. What is GHB?

Take the date rape drug. It's like it's it's powerful stuff man, and I took that I drink the whole flask And I went back to the VIP section and I remember his face just looking at me. Like, you couldn't believe what I just did. And I went back to the VIP section and I sat there in the next thing you know, I was, now, from that point on was, I witnessed accounts that were like, you know, third party, second party people that were telling me what happened to me. Because I was unconscious. I dropped out of the club. And this lady, this girl,

her name is Michelle, that it was a, had a nursing degree or something, started telling my friends, your friend's dying, your friend is dying. Look at him, he's dying. I was purple. My neck was turning purple and I was gasping for us having cardiac arrest. Yeah. Well, she's trying to tell everybody, and my friends walked over me and said, I just put them on the couch, she'll wake up there. And then she even said a doctor came up, he was a chiropractor, a doctor came up and said, I just, he'll sleep it off.

She goes, he's turning blue. He's turning blue, he's dying. She went and got the balancers. Balancers came in and said, shit, we can't, this is all what they told me. They said, oh, we can't have this guy dying in the club. They picked me up like six of them.

I don't have any recollection of this member, I was unconscious. Pick me up, walk me out of the back door of the club, and threw me in the alley. Oh, shit. Yeah. And then she saw that and went to my friend's because if he dies, I'm blaming you guys.

So a few of my friends came with her, from I'm blaming you guys. So, a few of my friends came with their, from what I was told, came with their van or truck or something, put me in there, they thought they're the last one because I wasn't really breathing. Pull into the hospital, they pull me, I guess they called the hospital, I don't know how this worked, but they pulled me out of the truck and laid me on the cement, the hospital workers came running out and started giving me CPR. And then put me in a gurney and took me in. And that's, and that those are hours of my life I don't have accounted for. And then I just remember waking up with this bright light in front of me and doctors standing

over me and a blue light going off in the back. And I do remember the way they, I hear them saying we got them, we got them, we got them, we got them, and then I'm just looking around him disoriented not really understanding what's going on I thought I got knocked out. I thought that I lost my fight because it was just days after the fight So I'm like oh, and that's all I cared about. I was like don't tell me I lost I got knocked out I got knocked out. They're like no, no, no, no, no, what are you talking about? You got knocked out? You you overdosed this and that and I remember I had to vomit in a trash can or something and then The doctor comes in and looks at me and goes,

what's your name? I go, David, he goes, where are you? I go, I'm in Dallas, he goes, right, he goes, okay. And then I go, what happened? He goes, we lost you, because you were almost gone, kid. And I go, fuck, man, why didn't you let me go? Yeah. And then that's when he said, what? I go, fuck, why didn't you let me go? Yeah. And then that's when he said, what? I go fuck, why didn't you let me go?

That's when I knew I really had a fucking problem. Because then he says, okay. And he called in the suicide watch. So now I have, I don't know who these people were, a lady, a nice lady, a nice black lady, reading the Bible. And every now and then she would read a verse out loud to me and I'd be like shut up shut up like I was like demon possessed or something you know and she's like she's like

she's like you're gonna hear this and you keep reading more verses to me I'm like fuck like you can get rid of her and she was there you know they they'd have shifts because I was on see they thought I'd try to kill myself, which maybe I did. Maybe I did because I was looking for a way out of boxing. So that was the first time in 2011. Then I go back and I went the heavyweight championship of Mexico, and so I went back and knocked out, I went back. Then I knocked out Byron Polly for the NABU Heavyweight Championship.

So I won two belts coming back after that, that debacle, whatever happened to me in February. When two more fights, second fight, I go party in Scottsdale Phoenix, getting hammered again, drinking Molly, taking Molly, drinking beer, drinking alcohol, walk out of a club and get my next little bit with a knife. All that holy shit. And that's the same year. So when you ask me, you know, I was looking for a way out, you know, and when that happened, that's when, and I was in the hospital, I took 369 stitches. In seven, a cosmetic surgeon was on call that night, just happened to be on call that night. Stiffed me up really meticulously, did a great job, and that's when I knew, man, I'm gonna die. There's no way I can keep going at this speed.

Do you know who cut your face? No, they never were caught. Do you know why they cut you? Oh, there was an altercation. And I'm not saying that I wasn't at fault or they were at fault. I don't know. I was so hammered. I was so drunk I can hardly remember anything. If there was confrontation, I probably,

I probably would have knifed me too man. I'm a big dude, you know what I mean? I'm a fighter. I can't say, you know, I don't blame them, I blame me. The lifestyle you had. I was living in. I was living in a crazy life. I'm not a victim.

This was all self-induced. This was all, this was my doing to what I did in my life. I take blame So whether they get caught or not it doesn't matter to me because it was my phone. I shouldn't have been there I shouldn't have been doing what I was doing So that's how I handled it. That's that's exactly why I'm getting over shit because It does no good to live in the past in that way or blame this person or blame not. I was drinking, I was under the influence. Shit happens.

Bottom line. I wish more people in this country had that fucking... Oh, I know, I know, but that's a whole nother fucking show. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Yeah, that's, that's top of it for your show. Yeah. Yeah. Leave that one to me. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Holy shit, man. So where were you when you got cut? Phoenix. Phoenix, Arizona? It's still. Yeah. How long were you in the hospital after that? You know surprisingly I was it was only like a day and a half two days and I checked myself out and you're not gonna believe what I did

It was right after Christmas and I had New Year's plans to party in LA My friends came in with a six pack and some playboys and then're like, oh man, they're going to be in the hospital. All right, I guess our trips done. We're not going to be able to go to LA. I go, fuck this. I took off everything. I walked out of the hospital with gauze and blood on my face.

And we went out and partied in LA with 369 of my face, 399 stitches in my face, swollen up like a pumpkin. I went out to LA and I partied in LA with a bloody gauze on my face all the way. My half my face gauzed up and I still had a party. Damn dude. Now you're telling me I didn't have a problem? That's a fucking problem. Yeah. And all I cared about at that time was getting back in the ring. That's it. I was like, I guess the doctor, we can I get back in the ring? We can was getting back in the ring. That's it. I was like, I guess the doctor, we can't get back in the ring.

We can't get back in the ring. It was like, it was a problem, man. And I was like, he was, aren't you gonna see a psychologist or psychiatrist, try to get things worked out whatever's going on with you? No, no, no, no, no, no. And at that time, I had a bad break up with my team. They got me there.

They got me to 36 and 0, 37 and 0. And I was going through a lawsuit. They were suing me. And there was all kinds of shit happening. And I was just, I wanted to kill myself, and I just did not want to live anymore. Everything was just falling apart. Everything. This was pretty falling apart. Everything.

This was pretty much the end of your boxing career right here. This was at the tail end of it. Let's take a quick break. When we come back, we'll get into the end of your boxing career. Yeah, absolutely. Here. So we're approaching the end of your boxing career. Just got stabbed in the neck, on the face. And which kind of led to the end of your boxing career.

So let's just continue going down the same path here. All right. So the only thing that was important for me at that time was when can I get back in the ring? The WBC gave me a medical leave where they kept my top 15 rating. But I had, but there's only a certain amount of time they'll keep it, right? So I had to get back in the ring and fight. So, um, I took some time off. I had to get back in the ring and fight. So I took some time off. I don't know how many months I took off. I think it's somewhere over four to six months. Just party, just drink, drink myself into a slumber, more drinking, more

drinking, you know. Just a horrible existence man. Not knowing if I really wanted a box again, but I knew I had to because I'm already in the top of your team, you know, so it's like, I can't let that go. I'm already there. They put me on medical leave. So, do you think you were just boxing at that point just to keep an image? Yeah, absolutely. You didn't even give a shit about fucking care anymore, dude. It was just all. No, in fact, it's almost like I grew out of it. I was like, man, I don't have a fire I used to have to really put guys to sleep.

You know what I mean? That ambition to train anymore, run those miles. My back was starting to hurt. My knees were hurting already at that age. And I was just kind of tired, man. I was really fucking tired. And, but I knew I had to attain my goal of being able to reach out into the world.

And I knew I had the tools. Everyone knew I had the tools. I was the hardest hitter in the fucking sport. There was nobody that ate like me or as fast as I was in the heavyweight division. And I knew that. Everyone knew it, that spared with me or trained with me or whatever. So I had to get to that goal. I had to be a heavyweight champion of the world.

That alone, not accomplishing that would have been devastating and probably would have killed myself. Because that's all I knew was, that's all I would set out to do my entire life. So, not long after taking about four or five, six months off, I think it was about there. I moved to, first big mistake, or many mistakes, of many, I moved to Hollywood.

And I started living in LA. And I had a investor named Joan Dangerfield who started paying for me and giving me money and supporting me out in LA. And then I told her, hey Joan, I already broke up with my last team. I'm not gonna, I wanna go back into boxing and go win the Highway Championship of the world.

She's like, she says, we can do other things, you know? I don't think your heart's in boxing anymore. And I was like, no, no, no, she was, let's try to do something else, you know, like acting or something like that. And I was like, ah, let me box. I wanna go back. I can do this. So I signed with main events.

Remember now my old team's gone and that longing for my old team was eating me alive. Because that's what I wanted to do. If I was going to go for the heavyweight chapter, I wanted to be with my old team. That was all our dreams. That was all our dream. So not having them in my corner anymore fucked my head up bad. So I signed with this new company, moved to Las Vegas, moved from LA to Las Vegas,

and all I was still doing was partying. Two months noticed, without even being in the gym much, I take a fight in Atlantic City and Atlantic City. And when I signed for the fight, I was supposed to be fighting a guy that was 6'8, 6'9. So I was sparring guys fighting a guy that was 6-8, 6-9. So I was sparring guys that height and dropping them. So I still had what it takes.

I was still dropping people in the gym. People were coming in to look at me. My Tyson came in to look at me, watch me train for a bit. He was like, wow man, and things were going really good. Fly into Atlantic City. Get ready to fight, they replace my opponent. And they ask me, you still want to fight? And I was like, wait a second, what happened to the... Oh, he pulled out. We got two different fighters.

But this guy was 5'9". 5'9". Compared to the guy I was preparing for, which was 6'8". So now I'm fighting a guy that's 5'9", 5'10", don't know Wilson. And I looked at this record and I go, oh fuck, I'm not this bone out. This guy's gone, no shot, no chance. But even one of my trainers, I think his name was Raphael Garcia,

was like, listen, we haven't trained for this guy. Let's take some time. Let's get you some sparring against a guy like this. He's a tough guy. He's tough. He comes to fight. And I was like, uh, how many rounds is it? Oh, six.

I can, I'm just gonna go for it. I can go six rounds. If it goes a distance, it goes a distance. Sign the fight. Go, I'm in Atlantic City and getting ready. I'm now in a home fight in Darnel Wilson. This was just days before. And get to Atlantic City. If I remember it's a real cloudy day, energy didn't feel right, everything felt off.

I was like, I started getting a real bad feeling in my gut. Like the sum's not adding up here. Something doesn't feel right. So, I don't sleep. I never slept before fights, by the way. Two or three days out, I'm a fucking bundle of nerves. I don't sleep. I never slept before fights by the way. Two or three days out, I'm a fucking bundle of nerves. I don't sleep. I always walk into the ring scene tracer's and shit like I was always just sleep deprived. Get to Atlantic City. Oh, I'm in Atlantic City. Get to the fight. Get to the arena.

It's on NBC, Y World of Sports. So I'm like, okay, I've been out for a long time. Everyone's here to see what I can do again. You know, people on the talk of the boxing community, hey, he's coming back. Get into the ring. They announced our nail. They announced me. Boom, bell one. First bell rings. Bam! We're going out of dude. It's like fucking a street fight. That guy almost took my fucking head off the first round. He broke my socket bone in eight places. My orbital bone in eight places broke my cheek bone and I believe he broke my jaw. I wasn't, I didn't know about that but I almost got knocked out the first round. So I stayed, I remember I knew right then and they're a fuck. I'm in a fight. This is a fight. So we're going. We're brawling. I didn't even, I didn't even jab nothing. I was just, it was from go from bell

run bell one to the end of the fight. It was an all-out slow fest. So we're just home blows. Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom and the fucking crowd's going a little bit of crowd that was there was going was going crazy. It was kind of an empty arena. It was kind of weird and but it was on TV and I just remember I'm barely inching out to fight barely inching it out, I'm bleeding, I have a cut. I can't see out of this side, my eye dropped down and was looking down. So this eye was looking at the floor.

Well, this eye was looking straight, this eye lost all muscle capabilities and just started looking, it just fell to the floor. It was just looking down. So I knew I was badly hurt, and I didn't know if I was ever gonna see again. Finding this guy and I'm barely winning this fight fight and then the 10 second sound of the last round where they go That's like the 10 second like you got 10 seconds left all of a sudden

Caught me I got dropped not the fuck out with 10 seconds left. Yeah, I would have won the fight. I've all the judges had me ahead Nestie know I'm waking up on the canvas and I just remember the rough standing over me, waving me off. And that was like all the fucking demons that I had surfaced right then in there and we're standing around me. And it was like, I rather have died, Sean. I rather have fucking died with the knife. I rather have overdosed that year before. That same year, I rather have fucking died than deal with getting knocked out. And when that happened, I knew my dreams were over.

I knew it was all over. Went back to my dressing room and for like months after that fight, I couldn't think right. I was like, I was under water. I was knocked unconscious, right? I never been knocked out of my boxing career And then I'll send it happened Well That was that was like a hard pill to swallow because I was 36 and oh now 36 and one and I have suffered a devastating knockout I didn't know how I was gonna pull myself out of that. I was boxing standards. I was old 35 years old. I was old

But I still felt like I'm still gonna be every way champion. I'm gonna come back and when I do this So I left main events I blamed it on them. I was like I got fuck main events fuck that promotional company They set me up. I blamed them this time, this time I'm blaming other people for my loss. And I take a fight with, who is it? O Ching from Africa. Another, another bump that I considered a bum fighter.

Sign them, we've been doing my hometown of Opasso. How long after your first loss? Wow, a few months. Three months again. Oh, about seven months later, I think it was. Were you turning hard to that in football, you enough to? No, I still had the dream.

I still felt I should have been headway champion, but I'm not even training. I'm like getting really sloppy. Partying, running here and there, hitting the bags, but nothing, four weeks before the fight trained hard. It just started training pretty hard, not real hard. Not like what I used to be in my 20s. Yeah.

So, that fight comes around, Bill rings he knocks me out, like first fucking few punches he throws. No shit. I've dropped to the canvas and the fucking ref date. I just see a towel get thrown in and I'm like, oh fuck, it's over, my career is over. This is done. The guy I used to be is no longer. I don't know what the fuck happened to me, I don't know where I went wrong, but my life is now in shambles like this is it. This is fucking over

and You realize that like instantaneously And then at that point my back was starting to really hurt I was starting to really hurt. I was starting to really hurt and I was not able to train, but that fight didn't even stop me from... So then I signed up for another fight because I'm now on behind the April, I got it win, I got it win. I signed a fight, a guy named Dominguis, and he had a good record, 25 and three or something like that. And at that point, I didn't even know if I was in a win. I was like, 36 and two.

I think I can knock this guy out. I'm gonna go in there and I got laser focus for that fight. I put away drinking for like a month, just a month. Train hard, bell rings, this is Salt Lake City, went out there, boom, knocked the guy out fast, guys out. Like first 30 seconds, I knocked him out, I was so fucking ready, you know. As I'm running to the neutral corner and they're starting to count, I have a sharp pain, go all the way down my back into my ass, into my hamstrings, all the way down to my toes, and then all of a sudden my legs go numb.

And right then I knew whatever I did. I just, that was the ending of my career. I knew right then my back's done. This is it. I need surgery. This is not. And I remember he's counting. And everyone's like, weren't you happy that you won?

I was dying of pain. They lifted my hand up and I was like, weren't you happy that you won? I was dying of pain. They lived through my hand up and I was like, ah! I walked down the stairs, walked into the dressing room, pulled my shorts off, I laid on the floor, and I was screaming. I threw out my back, threw out my back, L4, L5, S1, needed an emergency surgery, got the fusion, was never the same after that. That was it. That's what ended my career.

But I look at it now as a blessing because if I would have kept boxing, who knows what would have happened to me? Yeah. Punch drunk idiot walking around, not knowing my left from my right, mumbling, stumbling, motor skills off, getting knocked out it was over the boxing career was over at least I went out on a win but it was over and then following that came years of depression years of severe depression not knowing where my life was gonna go and I mean I hit rock bottom to the point that I didn't know

rock bottom had a basement And I was there what age were you 36 about 36. Yeah, and It was I the best way I could explain it man is I was like The best way I could explain it, man, is I was like... ...left out in the middle of the sea, in the middle of the night, with no compass and no paddles. Yeah, I didn't know where my life was going to go. I had no direction, I had all I knew was to drink.

So I accepted that I was a loser, that I was never gonna bounce back. And I accepted my demise. And I was like, well, if I'm gonna die, I'm gonna go out of diet, I'm gonna die in my terms. I'm gonna do as much drugs as I want, and as much alcohol as I want. And it was like a sorry pity feeling.

Like I ruined my destiny. My destiny was to be able to reach time in the world and I blew it I fucking blew it now I'm gonna go out with a bang fuck it I'm gonna fuck as many girls as I want I'm gonna do as many drugs as I want to do I'm gonna drink as much as I want and, yeah, no, not for forty, four. Five years after that, about five years of just getting another DUI, getting thrown in jail, like I became that guy that I dreaded to become, I became him.

I was a guy at the bar, washed up, talking about what I used to do. Mm-hmm. And getting twoD UIs, public intoxication, I just started getting arrested all the time. He was always getting arrested like the cops saw him, it was the rest of me. You know what I mean? It felt like that. Not understanding that in order to fix everything outside of me, I had to fix inside of me. And I didn't understand that.

I thought it was everybody else. Oh, it's the only fucked up because I'm hanging out with this guy. I'm doing that or what? I shouldn't have drank that last shot. Not understanding that it's completely all my fault. And I needed to take responsibility for it. And that's what I got sober. Did you get sober two years and two months?

I don't know. Two years and two months. I don't know about two months. Two years and two months. And my life is nothing short of a miracle. What was the final straw that you were like, alright, fuck it, I'm done. Getting kicked out of my niece's house for Thanksgiving,

because I was the drunk uncle. Oh damn. I showed up to her house. First of all, they had to go pull me out of a bar. I forgot about Thanksgiving. And this was in 2019. They gave me to her husband, my brother-in- comes, finds me in the bar says, come on man, let's go to the Thanksgiving, come on. And I'm like, I'm not going, you know, typical drunk shit. This is what I

knew. I was one of the time I knew this is a really bad problem. Takes me to the house, my niece sees me. It says, says now he's not coming in here not like that So now I just they take me to the house want me there. I walk up to the front door. She was I'm not letting him in I'm not letting the kids seem like this. You're niece. How old is your niece? My niece is she's 40 now Oh, it was four years old when I was uncle my sister had a very young and She has kids of her own and And she saw him and she was, nah, I'm not letting him in. And that's when I was like,

ooh, I remember I felt this like horrible feeling and I felt like sick. I go, fuck all of you, I'm outta here and I walked my ass five miles all the way back to the bar. And I continued the drinking and continued it all the way through December but during this time shot during this whole time I'm feeling this nudge like someone poking me and I believe it was God stop stop stop I have something better for you

stop stop I have something better for you I will give you the world if you just stop I kept hearing that. And I'm like, fuck, I need to stop drinking, but I don't want to stop drinking. This is it for me. I don't want to stop. I don't know anything else. It's scary. I didn't know what I was going to do. When they have in the bar, um, day after Christmas, I've bucked up on Christmas as well, by the way. And I'm there with friends at this bar. The Christmas after that Thanksgiving. Yeah, okay I'm with my friends at the bar and I'm looking around and I'm like these guys aren't going anywhere And I'm judging them. I'm judging them.

And I look in the mirror behind the bar and I see me judging them. I'm judging them. Now, looking at the mirror behind the bar and I see me, almost getting a double chin, you know, looking fat, like fucking out of shape. And I go, fuck, I am them. I am that guy. What do you mean you're not gonna beat that guy? I am that guy. I'm the fucking washed up boxer drunk at the bar. And so I told myself right in there, I go, God, you take the wheel. If I leave right now, I'm giving it to you. If I leave right now, and I put this beer on the bar, I'm giving it to you.

Please take control of my life, because I can't do this on my own anymore. And I put the beer down, and I said, OK, guys, I'm out of here. Bye. Or I think I said, I'm going to the bathroom. I go on going to the bathroom. And they also, OK, yeah, whatever. Because I knew if I said I guys I'm out of here. I think I said I'm going to the bathroom. I go on to the bathroom. And they also, okay, whatever. Because I knew if I said I was leaving,

they'd be like, oh you're not going anywhere to come here. You know, I said I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be right back. They go, okay, walked out the door. I've never been back. And I, I changed my life, dude. Changed my life. Shortly after that, okay?

Three months into being sober, my dad gets put in the hospital. He needs a heart valve transplant. He's 80, 80, that time he was 85. My whole world was crumbling and I could have went back to drinking at that time. I stayed strong. I prayed the rosary too. I literally prayed the rosary every day. I was so fucking scared. I was gonna lose my dad.

I didn't go to the bar. I didn't go drink, which I could have. But I didn't. I just stayed focused and in faith with God that I said I'd give it to you, God, but I was being tested. Like I've never been tested before because then COVID hits.

Now I can't go visit my dad in the hospital and he's been laid up in bed in a hospital for weeks. Were there just deciding, is he gonna have the surgery or is he? Is he a candidate for the surgery or is he not a candidate for the surgery? We didn't know. I didn't know if I was gonna lose my,

I didn't know if they were gonna tell me to, I'm sorry, you're too old, we can't risk it. We're not gonna lose you during surgery and he wasn't gonna get the surgery just be left to die or if you Is gonna get the surgery and potentially down on the operating bed. I Thought I was gonna lose my dad. I fucking believe I was gonna lose my dad And Couldn't go see him. I had to drop food off at the front of the hospital because of COVID and they said oh

We can't let anybody up COVID this and that All the while I knew what this was all about in the first place politically. I knew what it was about Well, they were trying to do it with the election and I knew already and He uh I stayed to my guns. I did not drink. He got the surgery and he made it through, dude. And I was like, thank you, God. Thank you, God. Now I know I'm never gonna drink. You know what I mean? And I just stayed stronger and then it just made me stronger. And if I would have folded, I think it would have been there. You know, there's more battles ahead of me.

I know that. You know, my parents are getting older. I know anything can happen. But I'm just saying like, I won that little battle. And there's a little victory. And then I said, I'm going to stay with this. Well, three months turned into six months, six months turning to a year.

Then the viral video hits. Next, you know, I'm blowing up on social media and I'm wondering what the hell is happening to my life. It's all happening fast. Then a year turns into two years and my life now is completely fucking different than ever I could have imagined. Ever, could have imagined. Ever, could have imagined. That's how I know God's real man. Because like I said, seek, listen, obey. That's what I started applying to my life. And the alcohol clouded my judgment. It clouded my, what I like to call my,

my instincts or my intuition, my judgment, it clouded my, what I like to call my, my instincts or my intuition, my soul, that I wasn't getting a clean connection to God. Now I feel I'm getting a clean connection. So I'm staying sober and I'm only doing my best to never fall back and that shit again. And that's where I'm at right now. And, I'm one year so telling you that, yeah. We're doing a hell of a job. That's for damn short. Yeah. How many years was it from your last fight to sobriety? Seven.

Seven years. Seven years. So you went through 30, 36 or 7. The day of the 9.44 to 1.42. I went sober and what else? 42 years old. Damn. How many, uh, what the hell are you doing for money? Uh, taking it from my parents, living off the little bit I had from my, uh, from my, uh, boxing career. Managing properties, because we have real estate in my family. Managing some properties here and there, not really, fuck dude, I mean, look man,

to be honest with you, I was on my way out, bro, I didn't care. I was on my way out. And anybody who's watching this, yes, I hit rock bottom and it does have a basement and I will tell you this, you always can turn around in your life. You always can, no matter how bad it seems.

If you're addicted to fucking smack, whatever it is, you can turn your life around. I don't give a shit what you're going through. But for me, I had to go to God, dude. And that's what I did. I couldn't give a shit what you're going through. But for me, I had to go to God, dude. And that's what I did. I couldn't do it myself. You know, you can't, you know, I tried to do it myself. I was stubborn.

And every time I tried to do it myself, I fell apart or I failed. So. I failed. So, so you get sober and then things just started, they just started happening. Blossoming. You read, I mean, well, I first remember my dad was in the hospital, it was bad. Yeah. It was like a test. Are you sure you want to be sober? You think you can be sober? Let's throw this at him. Let's throw that at him. Let's throw this at him. I'm not that at him. Let's throw this at him I'm not everyone's story is different. I'm just saying for me that it was massive obstacles when I first got sober I thought I was gonna lose my dad and that should have been the reason for me to load back drinking Yeah, but I didn't I stayed with my guns. I had faith. I let faith guide me

That's all I did. I just said man man, I can't do this myself. I had to give this to God. I have to because I'm not strong enough. And you know, I told my friends that I don't I lost a lot of my friends when I went silver. And there's a few of them I don't talk to anymore and they wonder why. Well, it's because they're still drinking and it's not that I don't want to help them. I just don't feel strong enough that I can help them to lift them up. Does that make sense? I need to just keep myself at peace. Take care of me because I don't feel strong enough to go down into their element and pull them out of that. So it's not that I feel like I'm better than anybody has nothing to do that with that. It just

has to do with the fact that I don't feel like I'm strong enough to put myself in that situation. You're just taking care of you. It's all I can do. It's all I can do. Now, you know, and I don't have the expectation of boxing on me anymore. That feels amazing. The anxiety of boxing having to fight.

I don't have that on me anymore. I don't have, it's a much simpler life. It's a lot more rewarding, but I'm like we were talking earlier. I'm so used to the ups and downs and ups and downs of addiction and adrenaline and stimulation that this life now, this kill is pretty hard it's a tough it's a tough life it's it's not this is not for the the week because I'm used to it being being being being being being yo yo life now this even kill is like I got I got like transported to another planet and I'm living

along among aliens I don't know how to I'm still learning how to cope Yeah, I'll be honest with you. It's it's hard. It has its own obstacles Yeah, I can definitely relate to that You know, I don't think it ever ends. You know, I think it's a constant battle for for many you get those adrenaline dumps Yeah, the shit that you've seen, the shit that you've been through. It's just always, it's gonna be, from everybody I know,

and this is kind of part for the course with my prior career, it's just something you, always are gonna have to keep tabs on and keep on top of, or we'll spot a lot of control. You know, for me, all I gotta think about is sitting, I don't, death doesn't scare me. I'm on bonus time right now.

Death doesn't scare me. It's sitting in a fucking jail, so rotting away for the rest of my life that scares me. Yeah. And you know, you don't know if you're just gonna have one too many drinks, it doesn't have to be one too many. It could be just two drinks. If you blow a point zero eight, you drive

and you kill somebody. I don't know, but anything that happened, I just didn't wanna put myself in that, anywhere near that possibility ever again. So I just, that's it. How long did it take for you to kind of reinvent yourself, you know, to wear, because that's tough. I mean, you were a boxing from five years old.

Yeah, I'm still doing it. You know, dude, I am still figuring it out. I don't have the answer. Every day is a new battle. And every day day if you don't think that every day I think Oh I'm gonna go to that bar and just fucking have one shot one shot just one God that feels so good. Oh, oh, oh an old-fashioned. I used to love old-fashioned I'd love to go have an old-fashioned. I smell whiskey. I think of the smell of whiskey like town

I'd be nice right now now because it's stressful right now. Like right now, society, everything that's happening, right now in America, it's stressful. Yeah. And I want to go, I'd rather just go drink, listen to some good music, and let it all go. But now I feel like I have this responsibility with my podcasts

and what I'm doing for people that send me gifts in the mail and the PO box and stuff like that, I now feel like I cannot let them down. Like now I have to, now I have more of a responsibility to deliver my podcasts to people that want to know what the fuck's going on and That's what I'm doing and it's giving me a reason. So these people that I talk to every day in my podcast They're doing more for me than I'm doing for them

Because they're keeping me going. Yeah, and it's honestly the truth Because if I didn't have them and I didn't have all this stuff going on for me, I could beat back drinking. No doubt. Yeah, because what would I have? This is the only thing that I got going for me. Alright, we're back from the break. Kind of covered. You're getting sober and how things started to turn around in your

life. But when we when me and you connected it was because you saw that social anxiety video which we both deal with some social anxiety issues. So when did you start noticing that really after my boxing career, I walked around on high alert during my boxing career, so I was always in that tent that a high alert status. You know, my instinct syrup was always in fight mode, right? Well, when I had no when boxing was over with, it was like I got struck by lightning in my bones and it stayed that way even after my career. So now I'm going to parties walking around and I'm going to parties walking around and I'm noticing that I got like severe,

I don't know if it's, I guess it would be PTSD, severe anxiety, severe, like I had something's gonna happen in any moment, like always on the lookout, especially if I got stabbed and my next little pin, I was now, I was really at a heightened state. So every time I went out anywhere, I was always looking at my surroundings, I was always like, I was freaked out, like shell shock. And I'm still that way, you know,

I'm just learning how to control it better. So when I saw your video, that's why I reached out because I, you know, I was like, it feels very lonely. It feels very lonely because you see anybody else and they can, you know, kick back, have a glass of wine, feel relaxed. I started realizing that was the reason I would throw drinks down so fast was to get rid of that feeling that I had of like that anxiety that like that nervous tension that the lightning I call it lightning in the bones. I feel like my bones had lightning in them like them, and drinking was the only thing during those years that would take that away.

No matter what setting those in, the more people the worse. If I were into a setting, I always had to be with my back against the wall. I didn't like to, you know, I knew I was a big target anyway, because being a bigger dude and you kind of stand out a little bit and people are always looking at you, I got paranoid.

I started getting paranoid. You know, and I just, the only way I could handle that anxiety was drinking. You know, how do you handle it now? Oh, man, I immerse myself in my podcast. I'm constantly researching all day long. I pray I just stay away from those situations or atmospheres where you go to a party or something like that. I've tried it. I've tried to go a few times to test myself and it doesn't feel good.

There's no reason to be there. I just leave. I'm there for about an hour and I'm like, they just, people start getting toasty. They start drinking more and I'm the only one that's not drinking. I just feel out of place. And then you make other people feel awkward, you know?

I noticed that since I don't drink, they feel like they have to, they feel compelled to tell me why they drink or they feel compelled to tell me what's wrong with you, why don't you drink, what kind of problem do you have? Yeah. As if I had the problem. Listen, we all have problems, you know what I mean, but at least I have a dress mind and I'm doing things to fix my life. So, you know, I just rather not deal with it.

So I'd walk the way from here. Do you think all of it was PTSD and that or do you think some of it was when he left boxing and your identity was stripped from it? Fuck everything, dude. Yeah. Like I was a baby in the world again. Like I didn't know who the fuck I was. Like this was the, it was like I worked my whole life as a five-year-old to be a champion

boxer. Take that away from me, who the fuck am I? Yeah. I didn't know, I don't know, I'm learning still. You know, I'm learning right now. Did you have a, did you have a question? Like, here's an example. So I struggle with it a lot. I still do. And at the beginning, I did, I never had it until I left the seal teams or until I left CIA, excuse me. And when I left it was something like I felt like my identity was stripped plus PTSD plus TV I put whatever it doesn't fucking matter right. But I fucking hated it when people would ask me what my hobbies were. That was like the one, not the one, but the one that the question that I just fucking dreaded because I didn't have any.

Newly do I. It was, I got a war. Yeah. And then I come back and I do a bunch of drugs and I party and and Nobody can fucking relate to that nobody done and So they'd ask you know what your hobby is I don't fucking have any you know and Be honest with you. I don't have a me either. I Have to take a good heart look at myself,

it's like I neglected everything in my life for that one thing which was boxing. So that's what I trained myself to do. And other than that, it was drinking, fighting, drinking, fighting, drinking. So take those bolts away from me. I'm literally learning life all over again. Yeah.

And I'm not asking for anyone to like, have sympathy or empathy for me, anything like that. It's just what it is. Like I said, I don't play victim or nothing like that. I'm taking the reins now trying to control my life. This new normal that I'm living is so foreign to me, so alien to me, that I feel like a baby just learning to crawl and walk again, because this is really what it feels like. My whole identity was boxing, partying and drinking. I mean that's just what I did. And I was good at it,

right? I mean that's what it was good at. So I knew, take that away from me, I'm having to relearn life all over again. Yeah. in life all over again. Yeah. Does it gotten any better for you? Uh, man. Yeah. It's better. I have a piece of mind.

I have a calmness in my soul to know that I'm winning this battle one day at a time. But the fun, the, you know, I romanticized my past life. That's always gonna be there, man. I don't know if that's ever gonna go away because I always think about how good it was and getting older, especially for an athlete. When you know your best days are behind you,

that's a motherfucker because, I don't know, look at someone like Michael Jordan, do you see that motherfucker crying all the time? It's like, it's fucking hard, it's not easy. This is not a fucking easy thing to do walk away from being treated like a god Worshiped in the arena signing autographs for everybody clamored to to nothing to Crickets, you know That right there was a hard to shit for me to deal with because I was looked up to I used to go speak at schools

Hey champ champ champ. I don't hear that anymore. I get an occasional email someone said hey champ You know what I mean, but that's occasional now. It's like hey, I see your videos I'm insulted or like what's going on? I'm like This is a lot different than what I used to be. So I don't put any like, like I don't put any, any emphasis on what I do right now because it doesn't feel like anything, you know, because what I had was my identity. That's what I related to, Like what I had was boxing. That's who I was. You take that away from me.

All of this now that's this direction and going to my life is brand new to me. I don't know where to categorize it. I don't really don't. I have told you this off, I'm break. Yeah, you know. It's fucking crazy though, right? You know, I mean,

I don't know what you've excelled to the pinnacle, you know, the mean of boxing. And now, you know, what's, I think what I find very interesting is people that seem to find success, you know, and become the best at what the fuck they're doing is when they move on to something else it doesn't take long and bam they're the best at what they're doing. Whoa! And let's move. I mean you grew a channel, you grew a channel in one year and you have how many subs?

222. 222,000 subs in one year. Yeah. I mean that shit doesn't happen You know what I mean? That's a lot of You've got something but let's let's think about this. There's a flip-soye that flip side to that Gotta remember I've been retired for seven years before anything started happening for me So I wasn't like the darkest of dark times for seven years I'm really let's just say all my

30s because really all my 30s was black. Yeah. Because I was already you know after 30 31 32. Yeah let's say about 33. I was done with boxing mentally. So I was just lingering around in boxing. Then I get knocked out. Then I deal with my demons. Yeah. Then I had to face my demons. So really 33 to 42. Yeah. That's like 10 years for me. That was hell. I'm not. I didn't mean I didn't mean it wasn't hard. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. What I meant was once you found the next thing you accelerated it. And I wrote a base. You know what I mean? And you wrote a book. I wrote when you found your new direction Yeah, everything else. I mean you weren't working towards anything. It doesn't sound like The only I was working towards is a bar. Yeah the next bar

I mean, I just that's all I cared about now you got to remember two What played in my mind all the time was that my sister died of alcoholism, right? So I was dealing with a dead sibling for the last 13 years. That messed me up, but she died of alcoholism, it runs in my family. So, I knew what path I was going to. I knew where this was leading me, and knew where it was going to take me. Okay. And so, you know, dealing with that, watching my parents have to bury their kid,

look at me handling all the funeral arrangements, and knowing that I'm going to do that again to my parents, that was also a major mind-fuck that I knew I had to get over. I had to pull myself out of it at least until my parents died, until they passed on. So in my mind, I was like guy that at least got to clean up. Until my parents passed away and then I can go back to drinking and roll my life. But I can't do it while there's still a lot of, I can't, they can't see another cake get buried. Yeah.

You know, and that was another reason I quit because I didn't want to be that, I didn't want them to lose kids, two kids. You know, to the same thing, I'll go. So the best thing I ever did in my life was quit. Do you have any advice for anybody that's in it right now? Gosh, I mean we all have our own journeys, we're all in our own, we all have our own battles, you know. I can't say anything unless I walk on their shoes, but no matter what they're going through, look at people like me who hit rock bottom, found no way, you know, the only thing I did was just look up and look to God. That is all I did. And I found the courage and strength to stop drinking. I can't believe how much of a vice drinking is, not just to me, but to a lot of people, because if you look at any domestic abuse or domestic violence or people getting DUIs,

the main contributor people need to look at this in their own life, what's the common denominator of your trouble and eliminate it? That's really all you got to do. And once you do that, your life will flourish. My life is taken off in a different direction. Now, are there going to be hard times again? Yes, there is. And I can only hope to God that I don't fall back into that life because they know, I don't know what I'm going to do with my dad dies. I don't know what I'm gonna do with my dad guys I don't know what I'm gonna do with my mom does to me they're they're everything and to me if I lose them It's gonna be like where I got knocked out in boxing. I Don't know what's gonna happen am I gonna go back to drinking? I sure the fuck hope not but dude

I have those question marks on my mind just like anyone watching this has their own question marks on their mind. We all have our own demons It's you know we all do. I don't give a shit. You know, I wouldn't trade mine for years. You wouldn't trade yours for mine. You know what I mean? Like we all have a battle that we're fighting, you know, and honestly, I can only hope, but just take it like they say one day at a time.

And that's, that's what I'm really trying to do. It's the best I can do. Yeah. It's still a struggle, man. People think, oh, you stopped drinking, you know, you're awesome, you're winning. Yeah, I'm winning the battles daily. But the war is still being waged, and it's not easy.

Yeah, it's not easy, man. I always tell myself, I can go have one glass of wine. No, I can't. When I start thinking like that, I have friends. Come on, man, you can have one glass of wine. No, I can't. When I start thinking like that, I have friends. Come on, man, you can have one glass of wine. Come on. I'm like, well, it looks like I'm not hanging out with you anymore because I, yeah, I could have last one glass of wine, but that one glass will lead to two, then the four, then the ten, then I'm back where I'm at. Yeah. And like I said, it's not that I'm, I'm not trying to help my friends.

I'm just not strong enough to bring them in. You know what I mean? I just don't feel like I'm strong enough to pull them up because I'm dealing with my own shit. I think that's healthy, you know what I mean? That's my personal thing. You're taking care of you. And you can't help everybody. All you can do is set the example for them to follow.

I get friends that contact me that are still drinking, you know, and they're like, you know, you're a fucking asshole. You don't have to call me no more, you know, this and that. And I'm like, bitch, I don't want to hear you fucking problems. I have my own. I can't, I'm not a savior for people. I'm barely trying to save myself. And they think it, they think that I'm like trying to stay away with them, that I'm too good, like I fix my life. And now I'm too good for anybody. That's not the case. Cases, I'm scared to death to go back, to walk down that path again. That's why I stay away from people. And I just keep to myself and I have so much anxiety because I don't want to slip back into that You know, it's too risky for me. I've already had two D.O.I.s Dude I have one more. I'm going to jail again

to these to these we were talking earlier offline about losing a lot of friends and you know when he left Boxing and when he quit drinking quit part partying and, uh, and, um, I can relate to that too, but how many friends, like all of them? Man, most of them, um, some tried to fix their life and they just went back to drinking and died. One's in Australia and jail right now. He's smuggling a sheetload of coke over to Australia and popped. So now I don't know how much time he's doing.

They say, oh, he'll be out in a couple of years, but I don't think so. Because they did a sting operation on him. And he's, I think he's going to be gone away for 10, 15 years. I don't know. Yeah. But I mean, I have friends that are in jail and I have friends that have died. One of my best friends, died in a sleep.

I have other friends that have been shot in waters. I had old bars down there and they got killed because they were getting extorted and they got killed. And it's just like, I just, the common theme in all this shit, no matter how much you think you can control it, it was alcohol. It's always, it's always involved in someone's life that I know where shit goes wrong. Yeah, somewhere in

there. You know what I mean? Whether it's them saying, oh I could have three or four beers a night and that's all I have. I think it does something to your spiritual awareness, man. I really do. I think being sober gives you a keener sense of your spirit of a spiritual component what you have. I believe being sober gives you a keener sense of the spiritual component what you have. I believe being sober, I think alcohol cloudies up the water. It just makes it to your receptors aren't taking in the information you should be in taking in the moon. even God at least that's how I see it right now and that's and that's all I can say is um you know

I'm just much better off without that shit in my life. Yeah, I love that shit in my life. Well, I mean you quick drink and you get tested with your dad in the hospital. How long was in the hospital? Oh dude, he must have been in there for about a month and a half. You're drinking, you got tested with your dad in the hospital. How long was in the hospital? Oh, dude, he must have been in there for about a month and a half. And this, and let me tell you, in the hospital, not knowing if he could even be a candidate for the surgery. So we were just waiting, like, is he gonna die? Are they gonna let him die?

Or is he gonna, or do we have a 50-50 chance at his age, even having this surgery and dying? I mean I thought I was gonna lose my dad and I listen I know I'm gonna lose him at some point. He's 87 But you know, I'm a best friend, you know my best friend It's amazing how fast after you could drink and things just took off, you know, and I See that with a lot of people. Yeah, like there because you know, I don't know how many of these shows you've watched and Doesn't matter but everybody has almost everybody that's been on here is They've gone through some real tough times, you know what I mean, after service because the majority of them are, you know, operators.

And just about all of them struggling with booze or drugs or both. And the ones that have quit drinking, it's just fucking amazing to include myself too. Once you quit, you know, or slow it down, I guess I can't say I quit, but things just take off. You know, it's, it's, you're, I don't know what it is. You're fresh every day. You don't have to deal with those hangovers and trouble, you know, I mean, jeez, every time I got to DUI, that was 15,000 down the drain. I was like paying lawyers and like, lawyers fees and this and that. It's a complete waste of money. Then you're barbed-out, you know,

on top of that, paying bar-taps. Or you're, you know. Bad thing about what was with me was every time I went out and I'll pass, it would be, hey, champ, let me get you a shot. I didn't have to pay for anything. Yeah. People were constantly buying me shots

and so I was getting, I was getting fucking blasted without even having to spend $1. Yeah. You know, and then you realize, like, shit, man, I can't even go out anywhere without getting drunk, you know, because I would never say no. Well, and you could make and you could make and shitty decisions. Yeah. You know, I think about all the decisions that I made. Fucked up.

And that shit doesn't happen anymore. No, I mean, I take full responsibility and I can't blame the alcohol anymore for the any decisions I've made. Now, yeah. So it's like, to me, it's like, um, I'm more focused on an objective, I know where I want to go in my life. I know where I'm trying to go. I had the energy to put out to make things happen now.

Like, let's be honest. If I was drinking and came to go be, I would, first of all, you would never even ask me to be on the show. That would have never happened. But if I was drinking, let's say I was drinking and somehow you asked me to be on the show, I would have made it to your show.

I would have, I would have raised, I would have arrived in Nassville and gone and partied and then be hung over today and then call you and be like, hey, can we do it later or some fucking lame excuse? It wouldn't have happened. Yeah. So, you know, so that, that's a head start for me, man. No alcohol. I'm getting a head start in life.

You know, and I'm sure a lot of people are watching and they're feeling very uncomfortable, like, fuck, I'm still drinking, I can't stop. I was there, dude, I know. How was that guy that's like, fuck, I wish I could be like that. I wish I could be that success story. But they need to understand that it's a constant battle every day that they're not alone. Nobody's alone in this.

We all feel the same. It's just getting through the day. Just get through it. Get through it. You're gonna be... The boredom is the hardest part. We're gonna just sit in there going, geez. I ain't shit to do. I wanna read a book, watch YouTube. But it's...

Watched on Ryan on YouTube. Then you're like, fuck it. I'll just be a YouTuber. Fuckin' I gonna go drink. No, no, no, no. But it's, my life has changed. Definitely, it's definitely, it's going in a completely different direction than I ever would have imagined.

Well, where are you heading? I don't know, man. You know, if you would ask me this two years ago, it would have been, or three years ago, it would have been like death, death. I would have been like, I'm gonna die. I'm gonna, now, the sky's the limit. I don't know. I don't know.

I'm letting God take care of that, okay? I'm not deciding that. I'm letting God steer the ship I'm not I'm not that captain anymore. I know people say yeah, you are you're your own God you manifest what you went nah No, I'm humble. I God has got my ship I guess let me rephrase this. What are you doing now? I guess let me rephrase this. What are you doing now? One of the Sean Ryan show, baby. I know. But you know, like what are you working towards? You gotta be working towards.

I have a very good company now. My social media company took off. It's doing very well. And I just plan to keep going. I'm going to keep expanding. You know, the sky's limit. I don't know where I just plan to keep going. I'm gonna keep expanding. You know, the sky's limit. I don't know where it's gonna take me. I don't know. All I know is, if I were to stop today and stay at this level, I'm happy.

I'm very happy. I don't need much more than this. I'm good. I'm good. But if it keeps growing, I'll embrace it. It's whatever God wants. So when I say whatever, I'm doing it already. Where do you see me in five years? Where do I see myself in five years? Well, I'll embrace it. It's whatever God wants. So when I say whatever, I'm doing it already. Where do you see me in five years?

Where do I see myself in five years? Well, I'm doing it now. I see myself still hammering this out, still doing podcast, talking to interesting people that did yourself. To me, this is what better job could you ask for? We have really stimulating, interesting conversations with people. It's fucking awesome.

Yeah. Like to me, that's fucking amazing. It's crazy. Like, if you would ask me if I'd been doing this two years ago, I would say no, I'd have been dead. I'd be dead or drunk somewhere. And here I am doing this. It's amazing to me, man. I just can't believe how when you let go and let God, things change. Really?

You're just along for the bride. Just a long, I remember I told you surfing. It's like I caught a wave, I'm riding the wave. I used to come there, I had everything to boxing. I used to say, life's a fight. Life's tough, life's a lot of drama, it's hard. It's like you got a role with the punches, but you land your shots.

I don't think of it like that anymore. I look at life like surfing. You get your surf board, you paddle out there, you catch a badass wave, and you ride it in and you go back out there catch another wave and maybe short Maybe long but you're catching waves and you may wipe out but you get back out there You get your surfboard and you go back out there for another wave Well, that's how I see it now. I'm just catching waves Do you surf? I've attempted

I'm scared of surfing. I've been out there a few times, my one of my best friends used to surf all the time. He took me out there a few times and I got up on the board one time and I ate shit immediately. But I got the gist of it, I understood the concept, right? And I have a lot of friends that were surfers, right? And they would tell me, oh man, how awesome way I'm like, fuck, that's how life is, man. You know, like, fuck, you catch a wave, you write it in, and you don't catch one, you stay out there for a while, look at the beautiful ocean, and then one comes,

you catch it, and you write it in, and then you work your ass off to get back out there again. You know what I mean? It's like that. So I used to compare everything to boxing, and you used to be like, oh, life's a fight. So I'm round one and then you're middle of your life is like the six on seventh rounds. You know, I don't compare it to that anymore because I think life's as hard as you make it. Yeah. You know, well, I think that's a good spot to end on man, but I just

I just want to let you know, I mean, I've not heard you open up like this on any of your videos that you have on your channel and and I think this conversation is gonna help a Lot of people that are struggling with alcoholism with PTSD with whatever struggles I have in life. I mean it's just You get overcome it. You have to be want to overcome it though and I mean, it's just you got to overcome it. You have to be want to overcome it though, and want something better.

And I just want to thank you for coming out, man. Dude, it was my pleasure, man. I really knew that I was gonna sit down with you. We'd go deep into this. And I think that I needed that for my own cathartic reasons for my own therapy. So I appreciate you having me on, Sean. It means a lot to me. My pleasure. Where do people find you?

Nino's Corner dot TV. Nino's Corner dot TV. That's, uh, or YouTube. David Nino Rodriguez on YouTube, David Nino Rodriguez or telegram. Nino's Corner right on. But the big one is Nino's Corner dot TV. Roger that. Best love to you, brother. Thank you.ino's Corner.TV. Roger that. That's a love to you brother. Thank you. I appreciate it. Sean, say it's, um, God bless you. Thank you.

You will. The Bullwork podcast focuses on political analysis and reporting without partisan loyalties. Real sense of day job is sprinkled on our PTSD. So things are going well, I guess. Every Monday through Friday, Charlie Sykes speaks with guests about the latest stories from Inside Washington and around the world. You document in a very compelling way. All of the positive things have come out of this, but it also feels like we have this massive

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