Shawn Ryan Show - #80 John Lovell - Army Spec Ops Dude Recounts the Hardest Portion of Ranger School | Part 1

Episode Date: October 23, 2023

John Lovell is a former Army Ranger turned creator, homesteader and best-selling author. Lovell is the founder of the Warrior Poet Society, a values-based community geared towards training, preparedne...ss, and spirituality. Part one of this four part series is all about Lovell's childhood and early life. Lovell is a successful and well known creator, but his origin story has largely remained a mystery until now. We also explore his entry into the 2nd Ranger Battalion and his radical transformation into a believer. Shawn Ryan Show Sponsors: https://lairdsuperfood.com - USE CODE "SRS" https://goldco.com/ryan | 855-936-GOLD #goldcopartner John Lovell Links: Book — http://warriorpoetway.com Website — http://warriorpoetsociety.com X — https://twitter.com/johnlovell275 YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/c/johnlovell275 Please leave us a review on Apple & Spotify Podcasts. Vigilance Elite/Shawn Ryan Links: Website | Patreon | TikTok | Instagram | Download Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 My next guest is somebody that I have been wanting to interview since I started this podcast about three and a half years ago. And it's finally happening. veteran space. He's a former Army Ranger, a YouTuber now with millions of subscribers, and who knows how many, how many views, but, um, look, this guy's putting out really good word. He cares a lot about the country. I even got him to dive into his background, which was like Polentieth. You know what I'm talking about. But,, but ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, it is my honor to present to you Mr. John Lovell to the Sean Ryan show. Please like and subscribe, comment to the YouTube channel, head over to Spotify,
Starting point is 00:01:01 and Apple Podcasts, leave us a review, and those of you that have been watching for a while, you know there is a ton of raw, cut up reels for you to download for free. Download those, put them on your channel, monetize them, make money. Patreon, we love you. Once again, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. John Lovell to the Sean Ryan show. Love you all, cheers. John Lovell, welcome to the show, man. Thanks for having me, man. Good to be here. This has been a very long time coming.
Starting point is 00:01:41 You know, we were gonna collab back in the back several years ago when I was doing tactics and you were a lot heavier in the tactics, I believe, and I don't know why that fell off, but you're here now and I've been really excited to finally meet you in person, man. I love the content you pump out. I love the excuse me for saying this, but I love the kind of turn that you made at the right point in time. Talking about some of the issues in the country and getting out about things. I don't think there's enough people doing that these days and And you're one of the few. Well, it seems like we made the same turn around the same time. We talked about that last night at dinner too, and it's like, I was happy doing my kind of gun-tastic,
Starting point is 00:02:28 gun-fu thing in the world of tactics, and but man, the world's just, I mean, really, careening towards some disastrous things, and I just felt this inner compulsion of like, I can't just, you know, make mine and do my merry thing when so many crises are happening around me. I've like, I got a platform to steward and I want to do it well and I want to be a change agent for good. And so I just, I just couldn't stop by and watch every value I had and everything I loved be destroyed.
Starting point is 00:03:08 And so we made that change seemingly to me at the same time, right? Yes, we did almost the exact same time. I feel like it is a responsibility that if you have a platform that's big enough to actually make it impact and hopefully lift the veil on some people. It's your responsibility to do that. I take it extremely seriously. I know you do too. I've watched a lot of your stuff where you're interviewing different people.
Starting point is 00:03:42 I saw one where you were at a golf course. This was several years ago. I you were at a golf course. This was several years ago. I believe it was a golf course. I think you were interviewing congressmen or it was, it's just good stuff. You know, and it's things that people need to hear and it's stuff that you don't hear on the mainstream, you know, and it's just another perspective
Starting point is 00:04:02 that is an important one. So it's good to have you here, John. We get a lot to talk about. Let's do it, man. But let me give you a quick introduction here. So John level Christian missionary, Army Ranger from Second Battalion, five combat tours, and four in Afghanistan, one in Iraq, husband married for 17 years.
Starting point is 00:04:26 We're in our 17th year. Father of two boys, author of the Warrior Poets Society, firearms trainer, speaker, founder of the Warrior Poets Society, and YouTuber. Yeah, and I'm pretty into dad jokes. That's the big bio-bullet point for me. Dad joke, connoisseur, you know, pretty into dad jokes. That's the big bio-bullet point for me. Dad joke, connoisseur, you know, really love dad jokes. You got one off the top of your head, is your favorite?
Starting point is 00:04:52 Uh, favorite man. Why, I just did the lead, and now I can't, I can't stop. I put you on the spot. Do you know why you don't see elephants hiding in trees. No. It's because they're so good at it. Nice. Is the dumber. It is the more enjoyed. Nice. Nice. But, um, you know, I am really excited to dig into your backstory. I wasn't messing around. We just did a little Instagram story,
Starting point is 00:05:28 but I was saying that you are one of the number one. You are one of the top requested interviews that we get. A lot of people want to know your backstory. And I know it's like pulling teeth, trying to get it out of you, but I will do it, but I just want to tell you, man, I'm really excited about this.
Starting point is 00:05:46 And then on the back end, I'd love to discuss some current events. Yeah, love to. But just getting into it, little warm up here, I like talking to folks of similar to yourself about school shootings and the second amendment. And how do we fix this problem? We've, you know, the politicians just bat the second amendment back and forth time and
Starting point is 00:06:13 time again. Nothing really happens. Nobody's really pumping money into the school safety. And what do you think this solution here is? We see red flag laws on the left. We see the right doesn't want to do, doesn't want to bend on that. How do we fix this? I think the moment we start protecting our kids, the same way that we protect our Congress people
Starting point is 00:06:46 and our politicians, all the school shootings are just gonna disappear immediately. Even the lefty anti-gun politicians are protected by people with guns, which is extremely hypocritical. We should pause on that, but they're protected by people with guns. And yet our kids are protected with signs.
Starting point is 00:07:05 That's it, really? This isn't a serious solution and they know it. And so I think the moment you take it seriously of like, no, let's protect our kids with people with guns, just like our politicians are. And the moment you do that, it's just gonna disappear the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun,
Starting point is 00:07:23 it's a good guy with a gun. That's it. That's the way to do it, it's just going to disappear. The only way to stop a bad guy with a guy with a guy with a guy. That's it. That's the way to do it. Yeah. Yeah. How exactly would you do it? I mean, the politicians aren't going to do it. They're not going to release the funding.
Starting point is 00:07:35 Some things that I've noticed are there are actually some grants available. And so one thing that I think that would help is there's all these companies popping up. And some of them actually have pretty cool products. You know, I know there's one company. I think that would help is there's all these companies popping up and some of them actually have pretty cool products You know, I know there's one company. I think it's Fox 2 Sierra They have the bulletproof whiteboard that you can lock it down in front of a door There's the new actually. It's not new. We were using this a long time ago and in
Starting point is 00:08:00 Various combat zones the film that you put over the windows. Yeah you know, but there are actually grants for these things and I in various combat zones, the film that you put over the windows. But there are actually grants for these things. I think if the companies that are selling these things actually educated themselves on the grants and had a team to go into these schools and private schools and daycares and preschools and anything where there's kids. And not only educated the business entity on the actual product that they're selling, but also educated them on the grants, this would be a lot more school security coming into play. Yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 00:08:43 And another thing that I see is all these parents, you know, they don't want to teach their kids anything. They want the quick fix and it's, hey, let's get a $15 an hour security guard in here because anybody that gets paid $15 an hour is going to want to put their life on the line for your kid. Right. Right. And, um, so do you want to expound on that at all, any of that stuff or just,
Starting point is 00:09:12 it's pretty straightforward to me of like, hey, if you want to fund it, just take a little fraction of what we're spending on. We're gender study ideology or, uh, drag shows, whatever craziness is going on. You just pay a cop over time to be able to come and just park your car outside, park your cop car outside the building and hang out. And guess what? Bad guys are gonna find a different school. It's just that simple.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Now we can do locks and security windows and all that stuff. And that's all good. That's icing on the cake, but you put a cup car outside with an arm cop inside and they're going to find a different place. Yeah, I'm with you. That's it. I'm with you. It's that simple. I'm with you. But well, hey, everybody gets a gift before the show actually starts. Before the show actually starts, here you go. Awesome. So we take, I don't know how many of these you live since maybe I haven't listened any,
Starting point is 00:10:11 but we take mental health extremely seriously here. And I wanna get into some mental health stuff with you, especially with your transition back into civilian life, but part of keeping a sharp, part of keeping your mental health, part of keeping your mental health up is keeping your brain sharp and given it the proper fuel. And so put some stuff in there for you
Starting point is 00:10:34 from layered super foods. I open it up. Open it up. All right, I'm looking for one thing, particular. Well, those are the gummy bears. I know that's the only reason you came. It is. But now that I've got them, thanks for having me on, man. I'm going to punch out now. You're out. This has been real. It's been a ride. Thanks, man.
Starting point is 00:11:00 But that is, this is all stuff to promote brain health. So that's performance mushrooms, functional mushrooms have a lot of benefits for your brain basically. It regenerates your brain. You can dump that into, there's some functional mushroom coffee in there and some functional mushroom with adaptogen creamer. So if you like the sweet stuff, you want to put the creamer in there, but super good for your brain,
Starting point is 00:11:28 clean ingredients, the performance mushrooms, all the ingredients are from the U.S. We try to source all the ingredients from the U.S., but main focus is the best and cleanest ingredients. And so that's what's in there. Cool, man. But cool. Cool, man. All right, enough of the gifts. Let's move on. Let's what's in there. Cool man. But cool.
Starting point is 00:11:45 Cool man. All right, enough of the gifts. Let's move on. Let's get him to it. How tacky is it to eat my gummy bears while you talk? Hit him up. There's only been one other person that's done that. Who was it?
Starting point is 00:11:59 It was Vivek, Ramaswamy. Yeah. And right after his first one, I told him that the, I said, don't worry, you'll feel that kick in in about 30 minutes. And I think he helped you. He thought they were cannabis gummies, but it's just candy. Got him. So, but, well, John, the way I want to structure the interview
Starting point is 00:12:19 is let's dive into, we're going to go through childhood, military career, business career, and then we'll get into some current event stuff and some stuff that we think is some of the biggest issues that are going on in the country today and address them and hopefully come up with some solutions on how to solve that stuff. So where did you grow up? I grew up in Georgia, kind of the suburbs of Atlanta. So neighborhoods, we had a lot of woods around us. So I had a real happy childhood being able to just disappear into the woods for the entire day. You come in for a tic-tac, you know, at the end. I hope
Starting point is 00:13:01 you don't hit a poison ivy bush. You make forts and, you know, swimming in the lake. And so kind of wild and free brothers and sisters, two sisters, we had some neighbors as well. And we're kind of sequestered out in our own little private neighborhood. And so, yeah, but a lot of a long time, a lot of play-in with neighborhood kids, but really in the woods doing stuff close with their parents. Uh, kind of hit and miss, but yeah, pretty much. I've like, I've definitely got a relationship with them and so uh, yeah, yeah. Uh, what did your dad do growing up? A businessman and so he was a really good as a life coach and so really preparing me for
Starting point is 00:13:48 You know, he wanted to grow you up get you tough get you focused get you disciplined and so those were the elements my dad really You know what focused on mom great nurture. She's shuttling us to soccer practices and to and fro from school and just doin' anything she can to be there. We'll kinda stuff we're into sports, anything like that. Yeah, soccer, we're talkin' just when I'm a little guy, right? Anytime. Okay, well I got heart corner wrestling in high school years, but before that, it was soccer
Starting point is 00:14:23 and just playing in the woods, kind of stuff. Or go carts or... You had go... Were you... Did your parents put you in racing? No, I just had one year I got the sweetest Christmas present ever, like this go cart with big donut tires on the back and just... That was a great gift.
Starting point is 00:14:44 That's awesome. That's one thing we want to try to get our kid into is go kart race. You can start him at age five. Really? I'm really excited about this. You could, but should you start him at? Yes, absolutely. You won me ever.
Starting point is 00:14:56 You won me ever. I agree then. Now we took him to a track and he loved it. So I can't wait till he's five. I think they put him in the racing suit. So I can't wait till he's five. They put him in the racing suit, the helmet, it's pretty neat. That's cute. But yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:11 So were you a trouble maker? A lot of guys that go into special operations were trouble makers when they were littler. So yeah, I was into trouble, but it's kind of like a little bit more innocent, more harmless benign. Now, as a teenager, I'll start getting into real trouble. Real, so yeah, I was a bad kid.
Starting point is 00:15:36 I was definitely a troublemaker. But I played a smart enough game that my parents were really aware of it for a quite a while. A bad kid's, what is a, what are you doing? I mean, chasing girls, you know, drugs, nothing too hardcore. But I mean, vandalism and sneaking out, got arrested a couple times. What'd you get arrested for? vandalism and sneaking out got arrested a couple times. What'd you get arrested for? Vandalism. What?
Starting point is 00:16:07 Stupid. What revandalism? This is all expunged. This is all gone because it was, you know, teenage years I was pre-18 and I didn't get like cuffed or anything, but, you know, it was there. So, you know, they just release you to your parents immediately. And so, I may sneak it out and just rip it down stop signs and breaking into like houses under construction and tearing stuff up and just being crazy kids wandering around, highest guides.
Starting point is 00:16:38 And so, stupid, stupid. Well, last night, I believe you had mentioned Stupid. Well, last night I believe you had mentioned some type of a traumatic experience that happened maybe when you were 19. Yeah, that was a pretty big pivotal point for me. Leading up to that, that 15, I got busted, you know, just into some stuff that my dad, particularly, was real hard. On Marmoist 2, my dad was ready to take action and they punched me out to a boarding school. And so I got sent away at 15.
Starting point is 00:17:14 Oh, really? And, yeah, so I was gone at 15. And I guess the idea is, well, a boarding school will fix them. What, what, what, what was the, what was the issue of 15? Why did you get, what was the final straw? My dad particularly looked at all the kids around. It's like, this is the biggest bunch of losers go and know where I've ever seen.
Starting point is 00:17:35 And so he wanted something, he saw, hey, this, this is a way to fix it. And so he kind of sent me to this boarding school. It was a real prestigious one. And so it's really good. I hated it. I didn't want to be there. And I set records at that school for how much I got in trouble. I was like in house suspension every week. I was in trouble all the time. That's okay. Yeah, man.
Starting point is 00:17:59 What were you getting in trouble for? Stupid stuff. A lot of the skipping class. I just didn't want to cut a class. What do you do if you skip school, class and boarding school? You would have in-house suspension, and so that was like, they had it arranged where you would have three hours of mandatory study to haul on like Friday night.
Starting point is 00:18:20 And so basically you're in this kind of like cubicle, head down, work in, there's a mod in the center of the room so you can kind of see everything. So if you're looking around, you're in this kind of like cubicle head down work and there's a mod in the center of the room So you can kind of see everything So if you're looking around you getting trouble and you just got to read or do homework and then Saturday morning You have another one and then Saturday afternoon you have another three hours to and then I think Sunday after church Which you're required to go to as well You know, so they really fill up your whole weekend with that. And then guess what, if you really don't want to go to suspension, you just skip that.
Starting point is 00:18:50 And then you get a double suspension and say, man, I got into some trouble. What would you do when you skip? Where do you go in a boarding school? Well, I had a car. Oh, okay. So I'd get in my vehicle and I punch out and go do whatever. And so anyway, yeah, I was, you know, yeah. So do you live at the school? Yeah, you had alarms on the doors, so you couldn't get out at night, you had RAs, and then you had adults that lived at the ends of
Starting point is 00:19:22 the halls to kind of check in and make sure you weren't doing anything too stupid. But even then, I wasn't all bad. I wasn't like, devil horns, horrible kid rail. I was really just after having a really good time. I didn't care about school and I didn't really get along with most of the people at squad. A small circle of friends and we are all devoted to let's have the best time possible
Starting point is 00:19:51 and that's what we were really after. And so, yeah, I was a bit wild. Did that bring a lot of resentment towards your parents that you were in a boarding school? It was, you know, I recognized that I was really at fault and I think my parents felt like they were doing the best thing they could. And so, and I'm close to my parents now.
Starting point is 00:20:18 I'm like, I love my mom and dad. And so all water under the bridge, they were, you know, certainly cost them a lot to send me there. It was part of my journey. I certainly didn't want to go there. I hated it. There were some elements I really liked,
Starting point is 00:20:33 but generally speaking, I was there because I was forced to be. Did you have, did you grow up with parents that had strong faith? I know you have extremely strong faith now and you're pretty open about it. And did that develop later on in life or was that from childhood? So we were kind of, my parents were on their own journey as I was growing up. So sometimes we'd go to like an episcopal church and then we'd be like a Methodist church and then we'd switch
Starting point is 00:21:01 and be a Baptist church and then a non-denominational church and then kind of back off a little bit. So we just shuttled around and I felt like we were all of it and so we were kind of none of it. So I did have some pieces of my background that were definitely of like under the shadow of the steeple, but none of that really stuck. I played the game some, but that wasn't important to me. And especially when I moved out at 15, I was just kind of done with all the religious stuff. I didn't really care. And so my parents wanted to raise me more in a faith. And I would catch, you know, my dad reading
Starting point is 00:21:40 a Bible every once in a while, mom and at more, but anyway of, and we'd pray before meals, you know, and you know, they wanna hold you to those values, but none of that was really taken very seriously. For me, it was kinda check the block nominal Christianity and I punched out at 15 for sure. Yeah, yeah. What happened at 19?
Starting point is 00:22:07 I ended up going into college. I majored in fraternity. I just went wild. That means I'm like, I don't have a major. I just went nuts. I'm the kid that's like drunk on a Tuesday morning. And you're like, why? I'm like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:22:20 Why? I don't know. So I don't remember a whole lot of that year of college, but somewhere, somewhere in that year, I'm just kinda like, I don't really wanna be here. I wanna do something else. And however the thought came across my brain, and for a whole bunch of reasons
Starting point is 00:22:38 that seemed really important at the time, but in retrospect, if it's kinda like, it's hard to even name them, like patriotism or do something high-speed army blah blah blah. I wanted to give special operations, you know, and I had pushed myself really hard in wrestling in high school where I'm living it up and being, you know, after party and whatever, I'm also a wrestler and I'm a good wrestler. I'm the school's wrestler, especially at boarding schools. I'm setting records and I'm known for wrestling.
Starting point is 00:23:11 I'm very good. Really? I was good. I was good. So I knew about pushing myself and I knew I can push myself to death. I can push myself far past where everyone will give up. I realized I had heart and I could just endure horrible misery and suck. Especially my sophomore year, I was weighing about 120 by the end of my sophomore year and I wrestled one out of three. So I was cut in 17 pounds a week by the end of it, hurt, bad. Yeah., worst I did was eight pounds in a day. That was murder. That was awful.
Starting point is 00:23:48 In the discipline and the drive, it took just to cut weight, much less to go out is this just feeling crappy, emaciated wrestler and going out and fighting that way for six minutes. It was tough. It was tough, but that's what I really cared about, you know, wrestling. And it was on the back of that, you know, of,
Starting point is 00:24:13 I guess I wanted some challenge, I wanted some fight, I wanted some drive. And whereas in wrestling, I could party it up and I had something for my masculine spirit to contend with. Oh, when I got to college, it was kind of like, I was just floating, I was just a drift. Having a good time, but I never miss an honor. And so special operations, just kind of,
Starting point is 00:24:37 I'm gonna go do that. Well, how did that even come on your radar? I do not know, I do not know. You didn't grow up like, infatuated with military, watching the via non-stuff. Mm-hmm. None of that. You just hit you Just hit me. I thought I could do it and I decided I wanted to do it and then that that became the mission that became what I wanted to do and so I dropped out of school and I informed my parents and Everyone else that I'm gonna go into the military. And I'm gonna do something special operations-y.
Starting point is 00:25:10 And then I started training myself for it. I was initially gonna go Navy SEAL. Really? Yeah, y'all had all the good PR. You had all the movies, all the books. And so, and I thought I had the hair for it. You know, so you do have the hair for it, John. Yeah, shit, I would have could have.
Starting point is 00:25:29 And so I started doing like cold water training. I was torturing myself of like just ice cold everything and hold my breath underwater and doing laps all the time and running and doing all the stuff. And in training myself for this, I grew to hate cold water so much. I'm like, is there, can I do the same stuff without all the cold water? And so I discovered what an army ranger was. And I'm like, oh, yeah, all the seal with none of the water.
Starting point is 00:26:01 And so I jumped tracks. Now the irony is, is I made it through all the ranger stuff, made it a ranger battalion and went hypothermic my first week in from cold water. Really? So, that's the funny joke in it all of. I didn't escape the cold water after all, but... When you, what year is this, is your gaining interest in the military and special operations 2000 2000 so right before 9-11 right were you in Before 9-11 I was in jump school or I was in airborne hole So it was about to go in airborne school when the towers fell
Starting point is 00:26:38 And interesting so we weren't at war But once I got through you know yourIT, your airborne school, which was a joke, and then RIP, which wasn't a joke, Ranger indoctrination program. Now it's called RAS, Ranger Assessment Selection Program. By the way, the worst departure from the coolest acronym, RIP, that's a cool acronym, bro. And an army went RASP, which is a sucky one. So I went through RIP. That was not funny. You're like, basic training, you know, I T, that kind of said, that wasn't very hard for me.
Starting point is 00:27:11 I mean, it was challenging. I had some hard elements, but by and large, I thought a lot of it was kind of funny. I got the game and I could play it. It didn't really bother me much. And I was, I'd really done my, I'd done hard work to train. And. I'm annihilating PT tests. It's my wrestling background. I choked out a drill sergeant when we did combative stay. That
Starting point is 00:27:36 was a fun thing. I'm just excelling throughout those things. I got the rip and stuff. Well, let's rewind a little bit. Rip wasn't fun at all, but yeah. Let's rewind just a little bit. So, how many years of college did you do? I did one. One year of college. One year of college. I think I did the summer school in there.
Starting point is 00:27:59 But yeah, later I'd go back after I got to the military and completed a degree and do all that. But where I'm going is what? What is your what did your parents think when you told them hey, I'm done with this. Dumbest school. I'm gonna join the military. Nobody who was close to me was really a fan of this. Yeah, nobody nobody seemed to be a big fan of this when my parents saw that I could not be dissuaded, my dad would be, I think one of the first
Starting point is 00:28:31 to kind of warm up toward it, but I don't recall him being really on board. We did make a bet that if I made it, he'd buy me a motorcycle. And so I still got that Harley-Davidson, I'm one in a bet. I really did. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:28:48 Yeah, so what kind of Harley? It's a sports star, 1200, and it's all custom-out and chrome. So anyway, it's pretty cool, right? But, oh no, I don't. Not much, a couple of times a year, just to take it out. But maybe my dad, later, much later, we'd do a cross-country motorcycle trip, the two of us riding side by side in the same lanes.
Starting point is 00:29:09 I think we had like 15 different states. That was pretty cool. Kinda closed the loop on that, but jump in way ahead. So your parents aren't for you going in the military. You get in, you go to boot camp. What was your impression? You get in, you go to boot camp. What was your impression? Not too hard.
Starting point is 00:29:27 None of that was extremely difficult. Drill sardines are yelling at you and you're doing pushups and you're a bunch of wide-eyed privates. And it wasn't particularly scary for me and it wasn't particularly difficult. I'd moved out of the house a long time before, you know, and so, and I'd done hard things. And I thought a lot of it was very funny, which caused me to do a lot of push-ups. You know, drill sergeant gets up in your face and he's trying to intimidate
Starting point is 00:29:58 you, and I just try not to smile. And then I'd smile. And after a while, you know, I got dropped for push-ups so much more than everyone else else because I just couldn't help smiling. I would just as soon as it would start, I'd just drop myself and do push-ups. I got really good at push-ups. But that wasn't hard. What was ridiculously hard would be the big U-turn that happened in my life, that dramatic experience that you, uh, you had alluded to, and this was before basic. So right, as I'm transferring from civilian life to military life, you're going to like this holding cell, 30th, oddgetempe Italian, eight, 30th AG. And there's where you're like staying in line to get your dog tags and haircuts
Starting point is 00:30:41 and you're, you're getting your BDUs and duffel bags and you're getting shots and whatnot. It's a pretty chill comb time. You just stand around waiting in line all day. That's it. There, which would be most people's easiest time in the military, was my hardest. And the reason why is I had been, I think, through just a divine reckoning, God would change my life in that moment. It happened around May 22nd, May 22nd of 2001. It's one of the most important dates in my life, because everything that was John level died and I was completely remade. In a way that is inexplicable and impossible else to define the massive departure of I
Starting point is 00:31:33 was one way and legit, I became completely different. In the course of a couple days, and what happened was as I had this dramatic conversion to Christian faith, it felt awful. It felt like I was being unmade. It felt like my heart was being broken and destroyed. And then through that, Jesus, I felt like not in this divine kind of voice, but I just knew in my new knower that Jesus had called me to give him my life. And it wasn't as much a question of, would I? It was more of a directive you will, and I did. And so he crushed me and remade me.
Starting point is 00:32:18 And somewhere through all that, I was converted to Christianity. It felt like death and birth at the same time. And I realized how kind of mystical and unsatisfying that would sound for a lot of folks, but I don't really understand what happened to me. I wasn't in church, I wasn't talking to a pastor, I wasn't reading a Bible, I wasn't, you know, I didn't feel like this big void in my life that there certainly was one.
Starting point is 00:32:42 I wasn't after God at all. It's like he found me on the road and It costed me. That's what it felt like. Can you be a little more descriptive? What were you doing at the exact moment where you when you got that first feeling? It was kind of a picture a water pot or a It was kind of a picture, a water pot or a kettle warming up and then it comes to a head of like that water is warming, warming, warming, warming. And that's happening over the course of a few days. And I didn't let anyone know what was going on with me. But what it felt like is if you've ever had your heart broken, it felt like my heart
Starting point is 00:33:22 was being broken. And then if you've ever had a tragedy before you, something awful that just destroyed your heart, felt like that too. The problem is, is I had no tragedy, and I had no heartbreak. But those were the feelings. Through it all, what was happening is
Starting point is 00:33:40 I was receiving a miraculous conversion to Christianity where God was giving me a new heart. This is the only way I can describe it. And so once given that new heart, I was deeply sorry for all the horrible things I'd done throughout my life, you know, through just I was repenting, I was confessing sin. I'd offend it offended God. I had not lived to him. And so, you know, through that, he remade me. And I was converted to begin not only resisting Jesus anymore, but I love Jesus. You know, and that made every difference. And so I was truly converted. I became a different man, and I don't know how it's to describe it.
Starting point is 00:34:31 I don't talk much about money or the economy, but let's face it, ignoring it doesn't help either. Because I believe the government screws up all the time. I think they let down veterans, ship jobs overseas, they hope their rich friends make even more money, it is insane. Do you really think they care about helping us out with our money? I don't think so. That's one of the reasons why a lot of folks
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Starting point is 00:35:37 your business yourself. So go ahead and check out goldcode.com slash Ryan or call 855936 gold to get your free kit today. Just remember, performance may vary and always consult with a financial professional before making any investment decisions. Can you maybe describe when you realized, what point did you realize what was happening? So I remember I was making, I was going to call like someone on the phone, maybe it was my girlfriend or maybe it was my family, but I found myself I couldn't even call them because I felt like inside was so tumultuous, I would have just broke down and cried. And I remember not making that call and I just broke.
Starting point is 00:36:25 And I remember praying. And I don't remember what was in that prayer, but I had realized that I had just become a Christian. I was already loaded with enough kind of gospel facts from my upbringing. Like Jesus loves you and you've sinned and you should confess your sin. All the things, the gospel facts,
Starting point is 00:36:43 you're a sinner separated from God, Jesus who is God became a man, paid a penalty for you so that you should receive salvation and forgiveness of sins so that you might, and so I knew the gospel fact. I just didn't care. It just didn't stick. I hadn't been converted.
Starting point is 00:37:00 I knew some facts, but I hadn't been converted than I got converted in his time. How did that feel? It was the worst and best moment of my life. It felt like death, felt like birth. Have you stuck with it the entire throughout the duration up until now? Yes. In your life.
Starting point is 00:37:25 Very interesting. So I've been praying. No, not perfect. I mean, I suck. The more I try to be like Jesus, the more I realize I'm nothing like Him. And so it's a horrible process. It just feel like, man, I still suck.
Starting point is 00:37:38 I'm gonna say, so like, but no, I've loved Jesus and followed Him ever since. It was a permanent change. It was a permanent change. It was a permanent stick. Now, that didn't mean I didn't run, you know, laps in and do stupid stuff, and you didn't have to repent again, but the difference is I was actually sorry this time.
Starting point is 00:37:57 I actually wanted to please Jesus, not because I had to, because I wanted to. That was a new heart. That was a different change. And I wanted to. That was a new heart. That was a different change. And I was just, I was a different man. And so now today, it's impossible to understand my life without understanding that piece. Some people are like, I'm not religious and you know, the sky god and your myth, whatever, blah blah. I get it. I get it. But you can't possibly understand the departure from who I was to who I became without that, because literally all of my success,
Starting point is 00:38:27 all victories, all of it happened as a result of that pivotal change. That didn't come from me, one me. Wow, very, very interesting. So this happened at the very beginning of your army career. Yeah. And then basic, wasn't very hard So this happened at the very beginning of your army career. Yeah. And then basic wasn't very hard. And you know, this wasn't up like,
Starting point is 00:38:50 I remember standing up after the first night to get in yelled at. And I could tell everybody was taking this bad, this wasn't bad for me. And I stood up and I'm like, Hey guys, anybody want to pray afterwards? I'll be in the center. And so I started leading prayer groups.
Starting point is 00:39:03 And I'm like, I didn't know Jack about Bible, not really. And people had like these questions about Christianity versus other religions, versus, and I didn't know how to defend that either. And so, um, anyway, I just kind of jumped in, you know, both feet. And I'm like, I guess I'm doing the Christian thing now. And I didn't really know much. So I grabbed a Bible from a local chapel. And I'm just like, oh, let me figure this out. And I started at Genesis 1 and I didn't really know much. So I grabbed a Bible from a local chapel and I'm just like, oh, let me figure this out and I started it. Genesis one and I read all the way through to Revelation 22.
Starting point is 00:39:30 I just read the whole Bible in fast. And when I was done, I flipped it over and I did it again and then again and again and again. And that's where I learned Bible is through military, trainings and overseas and Afghanistan and Iraq. I'm like, I'm just, I'm just reading and you know how we are. We're kicked off in these small elements.
Starting point is 00:39:49 You know, I have access to a chaplain most of the time when you're rolling in special operations. You know, it's too small, you know, like every once in a while you go back to some fob to refit and you see your chaplain, you know, like, and that's cool, but they can't be where all these little groups kicked out. And so it was really just mean my Bible. Uh, a lot of times, but man, the Lord's grace was great because I grew in leaps and bounds. I'll bet, um, moving past boot camp or basic. Where do you go from there? Do you go to airborne or do you go to?
Starting point is 00:40:28 Yeah, right. You do airborne to figure out that, you know, you just, you just kind of fall out of a plane. And you know, you're trying to steer a D10 Charlie, which you can't do. You realize, oh, the slip, which, you know, it's not really doing jacks. And then you just learn how to do a controlled disasterous
Starting point is 00:40:48 fall. Airborne school was a bit of a joke. Rip wasn't a joke. That was hard. That was awful. Bring nervous going into it. Yeah, because you knew that it's kind of like brace for impact.
Starting point is 00:40:59 And, you know, if like you hold, you know, out of my basic training class of, I don't know, 70 dudes, every one of them was going ranger because it was an infantry basic training. Everyone's going ranger and everyone's all pumped up and they're standing up after I sound, they're singing the ranger creed or saying the ranger creed and so everyone's super motivated.
Starting point is 00:41:20 And you're seeing these guys that you're in basic with go through and the crowd keeps getting smaller and smaller and smaller. And I think that had been whittled down through RIP to be a smaller group. I think out of all the basics, the guys I knew, I think seven went to second bat with me. And after a year, I think I was the only one staying and from my company. I think that's right. That was in my, you know, in second batter, rob a company, yeah, so. Let's walk through that entire process.
Starting point is 00:41:54 So show up to Rip, how many total are there? I don't know, 100, 200, a couple hundred, I bet. Couple hundred. I bet. What's the drop? You're the first ranger we've had on. Oh, well, I go. Couple hundred. I bet. What's the drop? You're the first Ranger we've had on. Oh, well, I go. You're breaking the mold here.
Starting point is 00:42:08 Yeah, and so the hardest part isn't getting, it isn't getting to Ranger Battalion, it's staying there. You know, that every day is an audition for your own job. To see if you get to keep it. You got to be good at everything. Now, when I became a team leader, that was my opening brief when I had new private,
Starting point is 00:42:25 something like, all right guys, it was very simple. I need you to be excellent at everything. That's the job. If you're hot-wiring cars, you need to be excellent at that. If you're doing PT, excellent at whatever guns or land, never, I need you to be excellent at everything, or you'll be fired. That's the job. So anything less than perfection you're done. You say that, obviously, that's not attainable. That's not realistic, but you shoot for the goal
Starting point is 00:42:56 and you land it. You become good or great at just about everything that you can be in. Good. So, Rip was, what's the attrition rate? I don't know. I just don't know. Ranger school, which would come later,
Starting point is 00:43:10 that's more known, you know, like I think we started with a few hundred and then that boiled down to I think like 60 or so. Out of a few hundred and so that Ranger school was less, but you know, it's so there's two Let's just keep let's just try to keep it on chronological order. Sure. So you show up to rip correct Yeah, let's just walk us through day one What are you seeing? So what rip is is it wants to see what you're made of And so where is your doing some stuff of some land navigation,
Starting point is 00:43:46 and you're doing road marches and obstacle courses, and now we're gonna learn knots. And so they have an excuse of what you're doing as if they're teaching you, but really they're just trying to mentally jack you up and make you quit. They're trying to find out whether you're worth investing in. So really it's just a haze fest
Starting point is 00:44:03 where they're playing physical and mental games, you know, all the silly games to just jack with people's minds and crush their bodies to see who's gonna be standing. And so Rip was just that. It was just four weeks of mental physical torture. Nothing is super intense as something like Hell Week, but maybe something a little bit more general of like buds, and I don't know buds, but you know,
Starting point is 00:44:28 it's like, it's hard, but it's not like crazy hard. Are you learning anything or is it strictly a... Yeah, you're learning. An assessment. You're learning stuff, but I think in the back, like we're doing combatives and stuff. And so you are learning stuff, but I think in the back, like we're doing combative and so you are learning stuff. There's the excuse of we're learning the stuff, but really what's under the excuse is
Starting point is 00:44:52 we're here to thin the herd. We're here so that we don't send Ranger battalion a bunch of dudes that are going to wash out in two months. That's what it is. Like let's get rid of the chaff so that we can just have the wheat left. That's what it is. Like let's get rid of the chaff so that we can just have the wheat left. That's what Rip is. Could you walk us through the entire process of Rip from day one to graduation? Probably not.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Why not? It's just too far in the past. I don't remember it. Is it broken into phases? Probably, but now it's even rasped. So I don't even know what they're doing now. I don't even know the length of time, but for me, when it was in, it was four weeks,
Starting point is 00:45:31 and you know, I mean, road marches, obstacle courses, you're gonna do some shooting, you're gonna do some land nav. And so you're always doing stuff, learning stuff, but how you're going about it is, you got screw everything up, push ups, right here. And like every little random PT successions were inserted everywhere, and so there's the excuse we're giving you training, but really it's just a haze fest. What did you find the most challenging in Rip?
Starting point is 00:46:00 Probably the mental games. This always worked the best on me and means the worst, is when everyone was punished because of something you did or didn't or failed to do, that's where I had a couple breakdown points in Ranger School, one breakdown point in Ranger School, and it's where I was failing my Ranger buddy. I did not, I could not handle that well. Whereas you torture me, I'm good with it. But I let that do down. I don't really remember doing that necessarily in RIP, but that right there is the hardest thing
Starting point is 00:46:37 that I'd ever struggle with. My buddy was counting on me, I failed him. You know, and I've done that. I failed someone in training before, and that sucks done that. I failed someone in training before and that sucks. That sucks. So with Rip, I just tried to gray man out as best I could, keep my head down and make it through. And sorry, just a backtrack one more time. Where were you when 9-11 happened? You were in jump school, you said, airborne hold. So I was about to go in jump school. And then
Starting point is 00:47:05 Rip would come after that. And so I think because the war was kicking off, we got to especially potent rip class, because you're about to deploy to war. They don't have a lot of time to fiddle with you. So it was that I remember it being particularly brutal. And I think they're the, you know, ranger instructor, the rip instructors. They're adrenaline's up because, hey, packin' for war, you boys better be ready. Let's give you a test. So my assumption is that they were really pretty serious.
Starting point is 00:47:38 How did that affect your mindset when you saw those towers go down? Did you know I'm going to do exactly what I came here to do? Yeah, I didn't really think I was gonna do the war thing. I thought I was gonna live out the army commercial, then I saw the towers fall and then it got real, but it kind of hit me in phases of like at first, it's just surreal and then you work out the effects and you're all talking it out like you have any idea.
Starting point is 00:48:05 But after a couple weeks, you knew you were going to war and so it made what you were learning all the more important. I wasn't doing it because this is what we do. I'm like, I need to know this stuff. Things got real. I wasn't training just to pass. I was training because I wanted to be trained. I wanted to be lethal. I wanted to be hard to kill. What would, did the fact, not the fact that the towers fell, but that the fact that you knew you were, you knew you were going to war. I mean, did that excite you?
Starting point is 00:48:36 Did that give you any fulfillment? The patriotism, any of that? I mean, you were young. Um, I mean, I was deeply angered by the, almost 3,000 civilians that were murdered. I was very, very upset with that. And so there's part of me of like, let's go stack some bodies and let's,
Starting point is 00:48:59 let's make sure they're so busy playing defense, they never think about offense again against us. And so there was that. And so whether you wrap that up into, all right, patriotism or whatever, I didn't have a bloodlust, I didn't want to go kill people. My team leader when I got in, he picked me out of line of privates, you know, wide-eyed privates. We got to Ranger Battalion, we're standing in a line and he's first down there and he's looking at all our records and kind of
Starting point is 00:49:28 The paperwork that accompanies you and he selected me out of the line Is it like he thought I was gonna be the one, you know, and so he picked me and I went up to him But he ended up being quite a sadist, you know of like he had a bloodless He really really just will he really wanted to kill people. You know, and I thought it was kind of like, all right, that's the macho game and whatnot. I knew enough about the military, or I was able to be discerning enough to perspective wise back out of the pain and the suffering, and I just saw it as one big kind of, all right, this is the game, This is what's happening, you know.
Starting point is 00:50:06 And so I was able to kind of, to do that a bit, but when I looked at him, I'm like, okay, all right, you're playing the macho guy card. You're the hardcore, you just wanna, okay, right, right on. And over time, I'm like, no, I think he's, you know, wax is pretty heavy on the psychopaths, you know,
Starting point is 00:50:23 I think you just wanted to kill people. And so that was my team leader. Now, he found out quickly I was he's, you know, waxes pretty heavy on the psychopaths. And I think he just wanted to kill people. And so that was my team leader. Now, he found out quickly I was a Christian reasoned from there that I would be a conscientious objector and where he wanted to raise a psychopathic, cold-blooded killer attack dog, Sikham. He realized that wasn't gonna be me, had buyers remorse and then tried for the next year to make my life a living hell, you know, and especially he wanted to undermine my faith.
Starting point is 00:50:52 And so while I am collapsing and pools of my own sweat, he's nonchalantly casually walking circles around me, poking holes in my world view. That was my first year in Ranger Battalion. Now, once you're in Ranger Battalion and you prove that, hey, I'm not going anywhere, I can be counted on, I can follow orders, I am no fool, I am tough, I am strong, I am worth investing in. If you prove yourself over a year in Ranger Battalion or so, they'll say, all right, we'll send you to Ranger School. Ranger School is a 60-ish day suck fest where you learn a lot about leadership and embracing the suck
Starting point is 00:51:31 and test-al-fortitude, that kind of stuff. So it's just misery and leadership. They teach a bunch of old outdated Vietnam tactics, which do have some merit if you're, you know, in jungles and stuff like that. But anyway, you make it through that. If you don't make it through that, you're, you know, in jungles and stuff like that. But anyway, you make it through that. If you don't make it through that, you're fired. And so I made it through, just straight through, did well, went back, and that's where you can start really developing rank. That's where you're kind of fully welcome in as a brother.
Starting point is 00:51:58 Now you, you don't just wear the scroll, the scroll is the unit patch, and that's what makes you a ranger. Then you get the tab, and that's kind of like, now you're a fully initiated brother. Okay. And so it's kind of like you go from padawanda master. So you can have a tab, you've been a ranger school, and not a scroll, you're not, you're ranger qualified, but you you're not a Ranger. You're not an Army Ranger. It's the unit that makes you a Ranger. That's where that's what the deadly dude is. That's the you are. That is your job. You are among Rangers doing Ranger-y things. You didn't just attend to school and got a tab. So anyway, the kind of full initiated Ranger is is ranger scroll unit, ranger tab. I proved myself for leadership.
Starting point is 00:52:48 And then you can, you know, you come back as a tab spec for, that's a specialist or a corporal. And so you occupy a more respected position in a fire team. And if you do really well there, you're going to become a fire team leader. And that'll be a sergeant, and I'd make it through that. And then if you do well as a team leader, you become a squad leader. And that's what end up, I'd tap out at squad leader. Okay. And then I'd punch out to go on and do other stuff.
Starting point is 00:53:16 What was, so getting back to Ranger Battalion, what is, what's a, I can't say a typical day because I'm sure you guys are on the road doing different things all the time, but how is the, how is the training broken up within Ranger Battalion? Do you guys have a cycle like, like, for example, when I was in in the SEAL teams, it was Pro Dev, it was your school time. That was about six months. Then you have your work up. That's six months. That's working with your platoon going to all the different, you know, dives a diving block of CQB block, a land, land warfare block, a maritime block, a jump block. And then you go to, I can't even remember what they call, but that's where you work with your counter
Starting point is 00:54:01 parts that you're going to deploy with. Maybe you're going to do some training operations with a branch of a tie and or some, I was an East Coast seal your counterparts that you're gonna deploy with. Maybe you're gonna do some training operations with a Ranger Battalion or some, I was an East Coast sales, so maybe you're working with some of the West Coast teams, ODAs, whatever. How is sustainment training in Ranger Battalion? How is it broken up? What's the cycle?
Starting point is 00:54:18 My first day at Ranger Battalion, they packed me for war. So, yeah, that's, step one packed for war because we were gone immediately. I don't remember how long it was, but a month or two or three. And then we were we punched out and went over across the pond. So hold on. So you show up to range of Italian and they're like, get ready in 30 days. We're going to Afghanistan. I don't know what the timeline was. It could have been one month. It could have been three months. I don't remember when we punched out, but I know day one pack for war. And that's, you know, you always have kind of like they're rotating the range of Italians across. So right now, second bats over, for instance, first bats in the whole and thirds on deck. And so third is now in kind of like a reposter refit. deck. And so third is now in kind of like a reposter refit. They're going to go ahead and take leave and go see family and take a little vacation and knock out these items. We're going to make sure
Starting point is 00:55:12 they're teeth are fixed and they're medical and they're going to do some training opportunities that you can't do when you're on deck because at any moment you may be wheels up in 48 hours or 72 hours of like, hey, we're going. You know, there's one time I went to war of like, uh, we didn't know and we're just on alert. And any day you could have gone and we lived that way for, you know, a month or three and then all of a sudden it was the day and you can't tell anyone your member how it was. You can't tell anyone you're leaving. You just disappear. And so you had to be ready. So I don't know what Ranger Botan was like before war because all I did was war with Ranger Botanian. But much like the teams, we had areas of focus. So I'm like, all right,
Starting point is 00:55:58 we're going to do a rotary wing operation. We're going to go down to Texas and do such and such. It's gonna be the CQB hit with moving an urban terrain around and then we're gonna move after that, the dust is settled on that, we're gonna go learn explosive breaching and we get bring in this person to do that. Now we're doing range work up and now we're gonna travel and do some medical stuff and then we're gonna do some vehicle stuff and then You just always being cross-trained so that you can be this renaissance man of lethality, okay Much the same that you guys are doing of like you got the fundamentals and basics You're always shooting and you're always working on movement and communication, all that jazz.
Starting point is 00:56:47 And then you're kind of using these con skills, these push outs where you're getting specialized training and a narrative focus. How was the team broken up or the entire battalion? How is it broken up? So battalion is separated into like a, bravo, Charlie company, and then you'll have a headquarters, or you know, that headquarters, you may have like a wrecky element or your snipers and stuff, you know, so it's kind of that's the junk drawer of Rangers, but an alpha, bravo, and Charlie companies.
Starting point is 00:57:20 And so, and then within that, you're going to have Platoons for a second and third platoon and then you have like a headquarters platoon or a weapons platoon fourth and then of that a platoon 30-ish 40-ish dudes depending on how heavy right now recruitment so low that may be like eight dudes, you know I have no idea So but you know 30 40 dudes, you know guns I have no idea. So, but, you know, 30, 40 dudes, you know, guns attached or mortars or snipers, you know, you're kind of flexing here and there and just based on numbers, we got down real lean, you know, after we're around year of 2005, they use special operations so much in the war. We all just got burned out and people just
Starting point is 00:58:03 started ETSing or punched out of like this too much, just constantly going back and forth and just war you out and it's not like we're guarding gates, we're hunting bad guys, we may run two or three different missions in a night. I remember in Afghanistan, on one particular deployment, I slept in a different geographical location in that country every single night for a month. Because we're just traveling at the speed of human, sick, and we're punching around just
Starting point is 00:58:29 wherever, hey, somebody made a phone call up here. We think we're, you know, it's the jack of clubs and we're going to go up and try to find that dude. And so, for example, and so we're just traveling at the speed of intelligence all over the place and just wear you out after a while. And so we'd got down to a real lean and then other times you get pretty fat. Oh, and then a platoon's broken up into four squads, first, second, third, and a weapon squad. And then a squad is broken up into teams. And that's three or four dudes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:05 So how, so when you guys deploy, when second-bat deploys do you all deploy together as one or are different, is Alfa Bravo Charlie going to different locations, different countries? The typical plan is as a battalion would deploy all together. Okay. That did not always happen. Okay. But that's the general idea. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:29 What about how is the team kind of broken up into, is it different expertise? Like do you have breachers, snipers, communications guys, or is everybody, does everybody do everybody's job? The general idea is to have as much cross training as humanly possible.
Starting point is 00:59:53 So we're not gonna be nearly as specified as something like a group guy, you know, where they'll get real into the weeds, but you'll do certain con skills. And so Jason here is gonna be like our master breacher. And he's been to the schools and we're all pretty good at breaching of like I love blowing doors. And so I had this leg bag I always carried,
Starting point is 01:00:16 leg bags are or dorky, but when it's filled with a bunch of deck cord, it's pretty cool. So I had the leg bag whenever I run around clear in cities because I'm like, yeah, let's blow some doors open. And so I kicked open a lot of doors. I blew open a lot of doors, but, you know, and so all of us knew how to blow open doors, of course.
Starting point is 01:00:34 But when there was something spicy of like, we want a, we want a shape chart. You know, hey, we got to say, if in Jason's like, I got it, you know, he's the guy who's gonna be able to do that in the absence of a medic. One of us is gonna be pretty darn schooled up. I took the medical conskel,
Starting point is 01:00:51 so I went and got my EMT certificate. You know, and I went through EMT school so that I was pretty good at the medical stuff. I liked doing the medical stuff. Now, that wasn't my job. I just, I dorked out on that. And so we were all generally cross-trained, but in all the necessary areas, you wanted you're within your squad, somebody who really rocked at that.
Starting point is 01:01:16 You know, you need somebody who is not just good at land-nav. There are so, all of us can land-nav. Anybody can, most of us, especially a tab spec for a sergeant, you can pick up and do good land now, but you got Blaine who is, he's the dude, you want him on point, he's going to rock it, you know, and so we have some specificity within, but everyone's pretty cross-trained. So what's the kind of the culture for a new guy showing up? I mean, it's not, you kind of went through it a little bit.
Starting point is 01:01:48 You definitely get hazed. What, what happens? I mean, when do you start to get accepted and people quit messing with you? You know, and it's like, hey, John's gonna be here, John's solid, lay off him. Like he's part of us now. What point, what does it take to prove yourself
Starting point is 01:02:07 within Ranger battalion? Everything's become so specified in culture and in the military, I have no idea. Not now. Yeah, I have that. But back then, man, you show up and your life is gonna be real bad because they don't care that you've been through rip or whatever
Starting point is 01:02:26 they'll look down on the stuff of like, no, no, you know nothing and now you start. Now it starts. So it's like, oh, well, he's been the rip. So he must be good. Nope, they're gonna see for themselves. And you want to know whether, hey, is this guy really got my six? Can I really count on this, dude? Is this a quitter?
Starting point is 01:02:44 Does his, what's his character like? What's his attitude like? Do I want to be around this guy? And so all elements of the person come together. It's not just how good of a shooter you are. Or do you fit within this culture? Can I count on you? Are you tough?
Starting point is 01:03:00 Or are you an idiot? Like what am I dealing with here? And so everything is a test, you know, and yeah, and it's gonna be real painful. I mean, physical games until you prove your set. Now, once you get back from Ranger School and you got a tab, now it's a completely different culture shift.
Starting point is 01:03:21 Now it's kind of like, you're not getting dropped for push-ups, you know, unless you did something really jacked up. And if you did something really jacked up, you're going to be given the respect of you'll be pulled into a room. Typically, if you got good leadership, and you'll be privately reprimanded, privately, or publicly reprimanded, and shamed, and anything depends on the leadership. I led differently than those who led me initially. And I was on an entirely different leadership journey where I kept some stuff and then incorporated
Starting point is 01:03:52 my own leadership strategies as well, which I found better in some way. So yeah. You know, you came in at, we came in to the military. It basically the same time period. You know, you came in at, we came in to the military. It basically the same time period. And so, you know, there was, I don't know, a lot of the history of the Rangers, but we came in, when me and you came in in 2001,
Starting point is 01:04:16 time frame, you know, pre-9-11, there was a long stretch minus, or maybe just with a few things where things where men could have gotten combat experience. For Rangers, I know Somalia was a big one, obviously. And I guess maybe a little bit, maybe in Desert Storm. But there wasn't a lot. There was a long time period from Vietnam to 9.11, 2001 when it was really peacetime. So So I was a little hesitant to ask you, you know, what was the turning point because you
Starting point is 01:05:00 You kind of mentioned you had been rushed. It was almost a rush to get you out the door to war. So what was, did that create any kind of animosity from a guy, let's say a guy that's been in Ranger Bat for 15 years and it was all training and peace time. And now you have John Lovell, who joins in 2001 and is going to war His first year at Ranger Bat You know, did that create a lot of animosity within the community because you have junior Rangers who now have more
Starting point is 01:05:38 Experience and it's seen more done it for real Then guys that have been in 10 15 20 years. I Don't know because I wouldn't have been fraternizing with those dudes who were fuller up. Now, guys who are like, all right, you got your squad and your low man on Toyota Mpole and you got your spec fours and you got your team leaders and you got squad leader, Platoon Sergeant.
Starting point is 01:06:00 There, I don't think at that level, at the Platoon level, you're gonna have a lot of that because they need you to be awesome. Uh-huh. Uh, you know, and so we were ready to gear up to be a dangerous well-oiled functioning machine. And, you know, I don't think they were looking down on that bolt with condemnation knowing,
Starting point is 01:06:24 you need that bolt to stay in place for that engine to run well. So I didn't get that sense, but I was in such dire straits of just scary war. I am under trained. I am trying to, you know, stay alive. There's lots of kind of hazing amidst this, there's the power curve of so immense, the sociological grudges that high ranks would have toward me, I would be
Starting point is 01:06:54 oblivious of. Interesting. Well, hey, let's take a break and then when we come back, we'll pick up with your first deployment, what that brief was like, what you felt. Sounds good, cool. Next on the Sean Ryan show. I was kicking open some palace doors, kick, kick, kick, and then the door flings open.
Starting point is 01:07:18 And immediately coming through the fatal funnel, the doorway, we took incoming fire. Scream and write, pass me. I was a saw gunner at the time. I came up and I shot him in the face and just dropped him. I'd never killed someone that close. My first mission, real mission, was in Haiti. And we didn't really see much.
Starting point is 01:07:42 At the time, it was the biggest deal that I had ever encountered. How did you kind of mentally prepare? Former Navy SEAL Mike Ritland keeps it real on the Mike Drop podcast. He's the co-CEO of the All Secure Foundation, which is this special operations and active duty combat that's time-satterly. Nobody helps you shoot your gun. They trained you, had a shoot your weapon, so we're going to train you on a thing you've never been trained for, out of come home for more.
Starting point is 01:08:15 Everything else that turns people away from it, we try to brand it, reduce or dismiss the kind of stigma that's associated with it. You have to. Mike Drop, raw, unfiltered, intellectually sound, wherever you listen. dismiss the kind of stigma that's associated with you. You have to. Mike Drop, raw, unfiltered, intellectually sound. Wherever you listen.

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