Shawn Ryan Show - #99 John Crist - Beating Cancel Culture

Episode Date: March 4, 2024

John Crist is a successful comedian with over one billion video views and is the host of his hilarious podcast "Net Positive." Crist is widely known for his viral videos like "Honest Football Coach," "Every Parent at Disney," and "Brands that need to be CANCELLED." Crist's remarkably successful online presence was backed by a relentless touring schedule that initially favored christian audiences and churches rather than the typical theatre circuit. In this episode, Crist recounts his meteoric rise to fame that was ultimately sidelined by the #metoo movement and cancel culture that swept the nation in 2019. Shawn and John share deep conversation that wrestles with topics like faith, hypocrisy, mental health, and personal growth. Shawn Ryan Show Sponsors: https://lairdsuperfood.com - USE CODE "SRS" https://helixsleep.com/srs - USE CODE "HELIXPARTNER20" https://meetfabric.com/shawn https://betterhelp.com/shawn https://moinkbox.com/shawn https://ShawnLikesGold.com | 855-936-GOLD #goldcopartner John Crist Links: Tour - https://johncristcomedy.com/tour Website - https://johncristcomedy.com Podcast - https://open.spotify.com/show/1WDTVibOGGSPSyv3MkUeVc?si=f4226da8ff334dd4 IG - https://www.instagram.com/johnbcrist X - https://twitter.com/johnbcrist Tik Tok - https://www.tiktok.com/@johncristcomedian Please leave us a review on Apple & Spotify Podcasts. Vigilance Elite/Shawn Ryan Links: Website | Patreon | TikTok | Instagram | Download Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We've all heard a lot about cancel culture in the recent years and unfortunately it has become part of the American way as the downward spiral continues. But this is a success story. This is about a guy who was canceled by his own community and beat it pretty amazing the hypocrisy behind it is Pretty incredible, but look This was an awesome episode. There's some gems in here and I made a new friend out of it. So pay attention. If you like what you're

watching, please like, comment, and subscribe to the YouTube channel. And if you're feeling extra generous, head over to Spotify and Apple Podcast, leave us a review, even if it's just one word that really helps the show. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, please welcome my new friend, one of the top stand-up comedians in the country right now, Mr. John Christ. One last thing, this guy is probably the funniest person that I have ever met. And that is a nice change for this channel, a little comedic relief. All right, love you all. Enjoy the show. See you soon. John Christ, welcome to the show, man.

Oh yeah, man. It's an honor to be in here. I didn't know you were in Nashville. I'm not. I'm in Franklin. Oh yeah, right now you're right. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, this is not Nashville. If you're telling somebody from out of town, you're from Nashville, but if you live in Nashville, this is not Nashville, you're correct. Yeah, how long you been in Nashville?

Man, I get, let's see, 2018 is when I moved here. I lived in an apartment and then I bought a house here in 2019. Nice. Yeah, I know I love it Yeah, I didn't know anything about it. I lived in LA You were living in LA lived in LA. How was that? Yeah Well, let's see good for my career sent me to rehab though, so That's pretty much the sum of it. Yeah, yeah. It is a, yeah, I didn't know. All I knew about Nashville was the comedy club.

There's a comedy club down on 8th Avenue and I just Googled the closest apartment to there. And I just said, I want, can I get one? And they're like, what, do you want to come view it? Or I go, no, no, no, I trust, can I get one? And they're like, what do you want to come view it? Or I go, no, no, no, I trust her, whatever. Just I'll have a one bedroom. They're like, that's not really how it works. That's how I moved here.

Why did you move here? To, for my career, so we started touring by bus. Okay. Yeah, so we started touring by bus and you can't do it out of, I mean, if you bus out of LA, you got to make sense. I mean, you're going to go three days. Yeah. You know, a bus driver can only legally go 10 hours. I did not. I did not know that. So he can't drive. If you go more than a 10 hour drive,

you got to have another driver. No kidding. Yeah. Who keeps tabs on that? What do they have? Like a punch clock in there? I guess they got a license or something. I mean, I'm assuming if you are the biggest of the big, you got to, you got to weigh around it, I'm sure, as there always is. But there's like when I, we get, you know, in those big star coach buses, right? So we go, we, we go night to night. So like last weekend we did Columbia, Wilmington, and Savannah or whatever. Like they're within a couple, six, seven hours of each other usually.

So the drive's overnight. And I get up to the cabin and when I wake up in the morning, I go out and the front cabin, he got sunflower seeds, Red Bull, nicotine, energy drinks. And I go, dude, there's seven people back here that are relying on you to be, this, you know what I'm saying? This is your straight, I'm sure he's like hitting himself, I'm like, this is terrifying. Yeah. That is, he's got got smells like cigarette smoke up there. You got nicotine, sunflower seeds, energy drinks.

I mean, I go so because we don't know where he's come from. We don't know if he's. Hey, you're good to go, right? Well, if he's you go, maybe you assume that during the the week the five nights when he's not driving us he's still staying up at nights and Sleeping during the day No, yeah, I don't know I never asked but there's no way Right you assume that he lives like that and I go is anyone else

That's what we talked about a breakfast. Like you just see things different later. Like, oh, he's, I go, is this not. Yeah. Concerning to anybody? Yeah. Right. Most people don't even ask, you know, most. It is going to ask.

They're just like, oh, it's, it's, uh, I'm sure everything will be fine. And we don't, there's no. Seat belts. We're all sleeping at a, I mean. How many people are you tour with? Uh, usually we go out with like two other comedians, a tour manager, maybe like a light guy and a video guy. Right on.

Maybe somebody, yeah, six or seven. Right on. Yeah, but everybody thinks a tour bus is for rich people. But it's about 2,500 bucks a day for a tour bus. But if you had to fly in hotel all those people Yeah, be more expensive. So you're like, oh, this guy's got a butt. I'm like Negative no, no, it's not like that. Yeah, not at all. Yeah, we're just trying to yeah, we're doing it the cheapest way we can Well, John, let me give you a quick intro for those that don't know you

I don't think there's a whole lot of people that don't know you, but you're standup comedian, host of the podcast, net positive author of delete that you've been canceled. And you're one of the few people that came back after that. And most important of all, in my opinion, is your Christian believer in the Lord. Yes, sir. Believer in the Lord. All those things have been more or less true throughout the course of the whole journey, but yes, yes. Right on, right on.

But, well, for about the past week, I've been researching you and listening to all your podcasts and watching your stuff. And I just, man, I love the message you're putting out. And it's really good. It's positive. And you seem to be in open book. So.

Yeah, no reason not to know. I appreciate that. But, you know, kind of what I want to do, my specialty here is pretty much life stories. And so, you know, what I tell everybody is this is your platform. I'm just here to facilitate and guide you in the journey. So, that's unique cause we do the same.

I got a big podcast and you go, you know, I'm sure people, what's beautiful about it is that I'm sure people petition you to kind of come on whether it's a Anybody that has any kind of I'm promoting a book or I'm a politician or whatever and it's yours and you get to say No, we're good. Yeah, and that's That's wild. It's really truly and I go Theo Vaughan is a Comedian buddy of ours lives in town and he's huge, huge podcast. And he goes, dude, all you got to do is just talk to the people you want to talk to. And if you want to talk to them, the listeners will feel that if you don't want to talk to them,

don't have them on. I don't care how big they are or how famous they are or how anything they are. If you're like, dude, I got not, he goes, don't have them on. And that's the way your pocket people gonna connect with it. It's gonna grow. Yeah. And we've been doing that since day one.

Man, I've been, that's what I do. You know what I mean? And how do you, how do you, how do you find your guests? I mean, you're a busy guy. So you're on tour all the time. Yeah. We just podcast, which takes up time. I mean, how do you, how do you find who you're into? I guess is what I'm saying. Man, I was, uh, I thought I was listening to that somebody told me about a podcast with J.K. Rowling from the author of Harry Potter and I listened to it and I go, man, I would love to talk to her.

I would love to talk to her. I grew up, I'm 39, so I grew up in the 90s, early 2000s in like M&M. I would love to talk to it. Just because I'm so curious, it's about so many things in that guy's personal life. And and he influenced me makes I make fun of it now, but it was eight mile and the fast and furious. Those, you know, the movie, your favorite author, comedian or movie or music or band is from probably about 10 to 14. Yeah. When it was right. They were

like old enough to like, learn. And you just this world was like I mean, collective soul. And the county crows and like Hillsong are still like my favorite bands because they were like, the fugitive is my favorite movie with Harrison Ford came out and The Fugitive is my favorite movie with Harrison Ford. He came out and I mean, I was so undone by that movie. You know what I'm saying? It was like PG, I was, I was a very, very conservative and Christian and it was like PG-13 is this guy

that was like framed for killing his wife, but he didn't, he was trying to like prove his innocence. I mean, it's, you look back at it now and it's kind of silly, but you're like, that was, I cannot believe this. I cannot believe this, you know? And I wonder if we don't have it much anymore, but. Yeah, no kidding. You know, we've, yeah.

I wanted to, you know, we had started a really good conversation at breakfast. Yeah. And so before we get into your life story, you know, I'm kind of wanting to just talk about that, but, you know, we were talking about all the lies that were being told ever since, we'll just say ever since 2020, right? It's kind of when the veil started getting lifted. And now people are digging, you know,

caused everybody to start digging and everybody, and the lies just keep on coming unveiled. Well, it was, I was talking about a podcast on where the guy goes, he saw a UFO, right? He saw a UFO and he goes, prior to the internet, but it was a guy, you would have to go out back behind a trailer and there's this crazy guy that was saying these things about, oh, that guy saw UFO, but he's, he lives down the end of the cul-de-sac. We don't talk too much anymore. And now you don't realize how many of those people that exist and through the

internet that they've all like now they have a with podcasts like this, or just communities on the internet that those people can all gather, which before they never could. It was this one isolated incident here and there and that goes, I saw this and this guy goes, dude, I saw that. And the other guy goes, I saw that. And now you have a bit these big communities of people and whether whatever it's from, whether that be the government or the military or and you go to same. So many things.

And the inner span, you know, the FDA, the CDC, the government, the money coming in from China to the politicians, the whole, the pandemic, the sexual orientation, the, it's everywhere, everywhere you look, not even just sexual or gender, what are they, gender ID, gender ID? All right. And you go, that's like the, somebody told me

like a crime podcast and like true crime. It's so compelling because we all live under the same as humans. We all live under the same rules. So if you told me, we're not that close, but I say we're buddies and you go, I got to go down to Shreveport for the weekend. I got a contract down there. I got to meet a buddy down there for an old military buddy. I want to go see.

I go, all right, sounds good. Right? And then if you go, I don't go back to Shreveport and then you keep like, or that's like, you're like, what's going on? You know, like it, it, it, you said that everybody watches those crime You're like, what's going on? Everybody watches those crime documentaries and like this cop called that person three times before and you go, why did he do that? Right?

Cause we're all, we all live under these general rules and whether it's crime or sex or drugs or fame or power, you go, why did they do that? Cause we all live under the same rules. And so when you go, no, no, no, no, no. Right? You're watching that. And you're watching the crime documentary, you go,

well, this guy got fired from that job too. You go, what's going on? And that's what everybody's, we're like now doing that in real life. You go, what, hold on, whether it's about a, obviously the government or why are they making moves like that? My girlfriend is always like, why are you like, I go, what's that guy doing? What's his motivation? And then you go, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah.

Whether it's somebody, we had a guy that's like on our, would tour with us. And he was like, he would do it for free. And I go, why would he tour with us for free? That doesn't make any sense. And he wasn't a comedian, but he was in our crew. Looking for the angle.

Yeah, and I go, babe, why would he... That doesn't make any sense. And then I find out later that he's trying to be a comedian. I go, oh, and I'm now at peace with it. It settles to you because you're like, oh, that makes sense. That behavior makes sense now. Yeah, that's a good point. And you see a lot of people, you go, what?

Like if you keep going to, let's say you don't know anyone in Shreveport, like why does he keep going down there every weekend? That's abnormal human behavior. If you have a family and a job here. And then I go, what is, why? That doesn't make sense. And then you find out, oh, he's running off with a woman down there. He's, you know, he's doing whatever you go, oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Got it. Because we all live under the same rules, the same temptations, the same addictions,

the same human. The pattern of life is very similar. Very, very similar. And you see someone like, there's a guy at our church that is so good. He's just so, he cares about people so deeply and he calls just, I am just checking in and he's got all these people that he visits and I go, there's no way.

Cause I'm a cynic. I go, there's no way. Cause I'm a cynic. I go, there's no way. And then he has like a big podcast and then he's like, I saw this lady at the grocery store that was in need so I bought her a car and I go, yeah, but for the podcast or like but for the book. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. But yeah, but I'm a little too cynical about everything, but I think a lot of people that listen to this are like,

I know what you're saying. Yeah, there's always, you're saying that there's always an ulterior motive. It's not just out of the kindness of your heart. Why would you want to tour with me for free? But it kind of is. And then when you get, when you do understand the angle in Certain circumstances. Oh, it brings you peace. Yeah, I go it's settles your like if

Let's say anyone that you think is Misleading or a charlatan or so let's take a mega church pastor that has a private jet, right? And he's going around doing these healing crusades and people are falling over. You watch that on TV, you go, no, right? You go, and then if that guy, or let's say Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton or whoever you think, whoever the opposite of you is, and then if he came in here and he goes, yeah, when I was a kid, my dad was a preacher and I always, I enjoyed reading the Bible and explaining it to people. But then it kind of, I was a little bit more gregarious in my messages and people started to like that. So I started to kind of do it more. And then they, I started going on the road and then I did this healing thing

once and people like kind of gravitated around it and then I got this private jet and he goes, I don't, it all kind of blew up and now I got three kids in college and I got to pay for that so I'm just doing, we would be like, oh, not that you disagree, it's still, you go,'s still you go oh You're cool with me. I mean I've been in rehab where every day a new person checks in and they tell you a Horrific story about how they got there. Yeah, but then they tell you from day one How they grew up what their dad was like, what their parents were like, what their child was like in the schooling. And you go, not that you let anybody off the hook

for any behavior. And I've talked about, you've seen people come in there with murder charges and I mean, horrific, the horrific things. And you go, you sit like this, and the guy tells a story and he's weeping. And you go, man, you wanna give him a hug every person. Yeah.

And that would be on either side. Yeah. You go, man. That's a good point. If all the way back, like the people that were, have been radicalized on the other side that are fighting against, if all weapons down, you go, man, I was a kid

and no one really accepted me. And there was this either gang or militia or militant that gave me a place of, right? Man, I got a great example of this. Oh yeah, I thought you didn't talk much. I don't, but I don't, but. Go for it. I had a Navy SEAL on who was a transgender.

And we kind of just spoke about it a little bit, but that is something with kids that I am absolutely 100% against. I don't like it. It doesn't like, don't put it in my space. It's fine, whatever, you know, but I never thought I would get along with somebody that had done that, right?

And then, but I wanted to, his name was Chris Beck. And he went by Kristen Beck for a long time, came on the show. And when we dug into that man's childhood, and he has since transitioned back to be in a man, but when he talks about his childhood and how that happened, it totally changed my perspective on understanding how this could happen to somebody.

You know, and- You just go, oh. Yep, right? Yep, he was severely abused as a child, his sister wasn't. So he started dressing up in women's clothes at a very young age because he didn't want to be a woman or a girl. He just didn't want to be him because he saw a sister not getting the shit

knocked out of her three or four times a day and sexually abused and all these things. And that's how it stemmed. Makes up. And you go, yeah, I get it. Yep. And then fast forward through his entire serial career, he's trying to get therapy on PTSD and traumatic brain injury and that, you know, all the kind of shit that we go through. And, you know, you've been to therapy,

you've been, I'm assuming you've been to therapy several times if you've been to rehab. And, you know, the first thing they do, at least when my therapy sessions is go into your childhood. the first thing they do, at least when my therapy sessions, is go into your childhood. He goes into his childhood, he says that immediately, you know, that, hey, you know, I was abused, I used to dress up in women's clothes, the therapist immediately turns it, and we're gonna write a book,

and it's okay to change. And love bombed him with that entire community. And so the point is, it totally changed my perspective on how that can happen. And it just changed my opinion on a lot of things. And yeah, you go in a direction of the love or acceptance. Yup. Right?

Yup. So if you're, I've talked about this, or if you're growing up in the inner city and your parents are not around and it's scary. And this gang goes, hey, we will accept you. We will love you. We will have your back no matter what. Mm-hmm. And then anytime you get into any kind of situation, you have us.

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Yeah. You go, oh, you go, as an outsider, you go, why is this gang activity, or why is this crime activity, why, or whatever, not that you let anybody off the hook, the actions have consequences, of course, but you go. Yeah. You're looking for protection, and you're looking for acceptance.

And safety and so many things. And no matter what, this group, they got your back. Yeah. And so, yeah. And it's that everywhere, whether it's your country club or your political side or your church or your job or your family, some are healthy, some aren't. You go, this is very true. Very true.

It's just, it's just, it's just the human condition, right? Looking for acceptance. And then by nature, unfortunately, by nature of being in that gang, you have to hate the other gang. That's the kind of how the gangs work. Yeah. Yeah. Very true.

Yeah. But, um, well, hey, let's start digging in. But before we do, everybody gets a gift. Oh, yeah. Do I open it here? Oh, yeah. I open it on the pod. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. That's what we got here. It's my shameless plug to Vigilance lead gummy bears. Oh, yeah. Legal in all 50 states. Yeah. Believe it or not. Are we eating them?

No. No, we eat them. No. What are they going to do for me? They just taste good. They just taste amazing. Really're not weedin' them? No. No weedin' them. No. What are they gonna do for me? They just taste good. They just taste amazing. Really?

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You should get these in Buckeys. I still haven't been to a Buckeys. You ever been to Buckeys? No, I gotta go. Thank you man, that's very kind of you.

You're welcome. You never been to Buckeys? It's a sight to be seen. That's what I hear. Yeah. Everyone I talk to has been to the biggest Buckeys in the country. And they're all pretty big, I think. Yeah. Everyone I talked to has been to the biggest Buckeys in the country. And they're all pretty big, I think.

So what is the biggest one? I mean, have you ever driven by one? I've never seen one. I know there's one down in Huntsville. Dang. Oh yeah, they're all around the south. Yeah. A couple hundred miles. Yeah, they're all around the south. It used to be one or two of them and now they're huge.

Yeah. But then again, I mean, they're probably 200 gas pumps, right? Or more. And it's like a, you can buy it, it's like a Walmart. It sounds like a Walmart gas station. But still, the same thought process, you go, how? How was that, right? How are they doing this or what or who? Who put in the money for like right there's three gas stations on that exit and somebody goes dude, we're gonna

Right and they got advertisements billboards all down the interstate for 20 miles in each direction And this gonna be the end of it like the business model you just go What? in each direction and this is going to be the end of it. And like the business model, you just go, what? But it's working. But I think everybody's talking about it. I just had dead mousin here a couple of weeks ago. We had a Bucky shirt on. Really? Yeah. So it's working. Yeah.

But what if you found out that Bucky's paid him to wear that shirt on your podcast? I don't think that happened, but. No, that way, yeah. But, wait, what? What a slick move. Have you heard all the stuff about all the military, the military stuff on TikTok? What is it? It's like a bunch of hot girls

and they're kind of dancing and the barracks and stuff like that and being like, they're like glamorizing military life, but they're not ads. Yeah. But they're not not. So you're like, it's like for, if the goal was to recruit more people to the military, this makes it look, but you're like, well, what if they, you know those kids that like are for the Democratic Party,

but you didn't know they were like paying them all that money to in essence put propaganda out on TikTok. You're like, oh, oh, those guys are getting paid. And then you go, oh, right? You go, oh, okay, got it. So you're looking at it like, well, that is a pretty smart tactic by the military. If it is to.

They're like, it looks like a fake like base or something. They're all kind of dancing on it and like having fun. Like, well, this is if this is combat, this is and we want to get better people in the military, I guess. Yeah. It brings up a good point. I think you're giving the military way too much credit, but unfortunately the leadership over there

just is not that intelligent. But hey, it's been a minute since I've been in there. Maybe things have changed. Well, I highly doubt it. Although things have definitely changed, but I don't think for the better. Yeah. Not what I'm a little highly doubt it. Although things have definitely changed, but I don't think for the better. Yeah. Not where I'm hearing.

Me neither, not where I'm hearing either. But anyways, let's dive in. Let's do it. Let's start this thing. Where'd you grow up? I was born in Norcross, Georgia, Northside High School, Northside, sorry, Northside Medical Center in Norcross, Georgia, Northside High School, Northside, sorry, Northside Medical Center

in Norcross, Georgia. And one of the third of eight. Eight, yeah, third of eight. And we lived in Lilburn, Georgia. My parents had a train, like a train, there was an old train station and they bought a house right next to the train stop and it was from 1896, our house. And then my dad has been working on that and we lived in that my whole life. In Littleburn,

downtown Littleburn, Georgia. Where is that? They'd be like 30 miles north of Atlanta. Okay. Yeah. Now it's like Atlanta. Yeah. It's like Franklin or like, soon as this is gonna be Nashville,

but it's a kind of a suburb now. Yeah, it's been absorbed. Yeah. You got it. It's like, we own it, they own it now. Yeah. It's the way I've seen with my city growing up, way different than it.

Now it's way different than it was then, but yeah. So one of eight kids, how many brothers? Two older brothers. And then right below me is two more a boy. It goes four boys, girl boy, two girls, so five boys, three girls. That's a lot of siblings. Yeah, which my youngest, I mean,

I was out of college before she even went to, I mean, we're just so different of, she's my sister obviously, but. Are you close with him? Well, I mean, you can't necessarily, you can't be close to all seven, but there's some I'm closer than with than others, but you have to do anything for them. Everybody gets along for the most part.

Man, that's great. You don't hear that. I love you to say. Yeah. Everybody's still, uh, following the Lord. Yeah. Which is a miracle. Good deal.

That, that is a miracle. Yeah. Everybody's, you know, on different sides of political issues and Christmas always is a little bit of a... Oh, okay, there it is. Yeah, we talked about that at breakfast. But that's everybody, though. On my side of the family.

Oh, yeah, you're... But yeah. Always interesting times. Was unique growing up. I mean, just the same story told about the trans guy in the military as I was kind of... There wasn't a lot of attention from parents to kids. No, actually, there was a ton, but it had to be divided by eight, right? So as a kid, you wanted to get, or get, even before, like I would say, like if you're like a stripper,

you're like, that attention is better than no attention. That may be unhealthy and that's not a good, but that is better than zero. Doing something that, like quote, performing for love. That transaction is better than no love. When did that start for you? When do you remember first acting out or doing certain? I mean, yeah, you wouldn't even know it was acting out.

I guess you were just doing what you, like you wake up and you're like, I mean, I remember maybe nine or 10 or these weeks, we were homeschooled. So we kind of stuck in this. We were homeschooled and kind of lived in our community there. We didn't really, we played sports kind of in our local community, never really. And then we went to church. So that was our only really places where and so at church there was other people and there was girls there and I remember as early as that age of going to church to see these girls

that I knew and they loved me. What I thought, I mean, at the time, but they thought it was so funny and I would always come with like stories or like things from the week and they were like, where's John? We're looking for John. I went to John coming, is John going to be here? And I was like my, I mean, you could say I've been going to that well still today. Yeah. The same, you know what I'm saying? And I, they loved me. They thought it was so funny and they couldn't wait to see me. And you go, and now look what I do for a living now.

You go, that checks out. Yeah, it does. It does make sense. Would you, I mean, did you feel, were you tight with your dad or are you still tight with your dad or are you still tight with your dad? Yeah, I mean my dad or we Talk it's it's my brother Was more my brother it's funny because he builds homes and my dad I'd love to Work in the garage and stuff like that is always building stuff and you know remodeling stuff and I had no interest in that I didn't really, I was into,

I would say like that, what I do, like art or maybe more like music or more theatrical type things. And he was always building and I would never wanna do that. I would never wanna go down there or like hang out. And my brother, yet right than me, loved it. And I can remember every night that I could hear them in the garage. My dad and my brother like working or like, I don't know, whatever they were doing now. And I didn't really, I didn't feel excluded in it.

That could have gone down there whenever I wanted, but I just wasn't in it. Yeah. I didn't have no interest in doing that. And as you know, but dad, he was, he would be like, I gotta go to work to provide for these eight kids. That's my way of like showing love. Is to like, look at, you got all the, you got shelter, you got meals,

you got all the, and you know, as a meals, you got all the, and you know, as a kid, you, as an adult now, you're like, well, I needed a little bit more than that. But he, my dad does love comedy. Or you think, what he thinks what I do now is awesome. He likes it. Awesome. Yeah. Which is like, we got something to connect with over that.

Cool. Yeah. Because he's a preacher. And so he was, he's kind of helped me in a lot of ways in the comedy. Like I remember he told me one time, he's like, I looked up and I saw this sign at a restaurant and it said, open 24 hours. And he goes, yeah, to me it's open 24 hours. And he goes, yeah, to me it's open 24 hours, but to the crowd it's open 24 hours

because you're looking at the sign. Does that make sense? Like simple things like that that he was teaching me about public speaking or like how to, I'm looking at the sign, it gets open 24 hours, but to you watching,

the sign goes this way. Yeah. Things like that. Makes sense. Yeah, he always kind of had some like tips and like things that would help me early on in comedy. And I think in a lot of ways, I said the things about church that he kind of couldn't say.

Cause he had all the same kind of. He appreciated that. Yeah, he liked that I was saying that. What do you, do you have anything in particular? Man, I would, I mean. You have so much content out there. It's hard for me to think about. I remember early on, and this is when I was a church

in Colorado, I did the Christmas party at the church and I go, is it just me or are all these female worship leaders like very attractive? And that it was just like, how do you, can you say that? You know what I'm saying? It's like, I can't believe he just said something out loud that I know everyone in here has thought all these women that were like singing were knockout gorgeous.

And that's like, you can't say that yeah but I said it and they were just like And no one disagreed by the way no one disagreed but they were like dude that is wild and I did an impersonation of the Guy that was hiring the women to sing and I he goes like, oh, not hot enough. Or like, I mean, it's so like out of bounds. You understand for like that culture. Yeah. And that's kind of what, that's kind of the, it was things like that.

If you, obviously people in jazz comedy, that's not a dirty joke, but it's whatever, what makes something dirty is, it goes beyond what they're allowed to say. Like there's jokes in the military that you're like, I can't believe he said that. Yeah. It's like, that's the beauty of comedy.

So it's true, but it's wrapped up in a humor enough that it can be digestible. Yeah. Makes a lot of sense. So you weren't after your parents' attention. You were after your peers. Any attention. Okay.

And I think, I mean, I think at the time it was, cause I see my brother who doesn't, at least outwardly desire it or have the need for it as much as I do. Cause that need was always kind of met. Yeah. Would that make sense? It does. Yeah, that need was always kind of met. Yeah. That makes sense. It does.

Yeah, that he was kind of like, I'm good, I'm stable, and my girlfriend who is a great relationship with her dad. I always say I'm so thankful to him and her for that because that solved a lot for me in that relationship, you know what I'm saying? There you go. Man, that's such a neat, everybody has a need somehow. But if that's kind of, I mean, could you imagine waking up and having no needs? Like you were good. Like the definition of an addict is like at the deepest,

is like I gotta wake up and I gotta, I gotta find the needs, I gotta satiate these voices, or I went through alcohol or drugs or whatever. I'll steal, I'll rob, I'll kill, I gotta get it. Versus someone that was Complete I Don't even know if that person exists That you can go do great work on the earth, but you don't need you hope the podcast does well

You want to do you want to be proud of what you're waiting you need outside affirmation, but if it doesn't you? As in fact who you are as a person yeah yeah everyone on the internet was screaming that you were a liar a cheater didn't work then you'd be like well I'm I'm still I don't know if that person exists I never met him yeah me neither they don't Everybody kind of needs it some some way. Yeah. Yeah. And we've talked before about how you, you want to, whether it's in the military or even this podcast, you want it to do well.

Right? Yeah. I mean, I don't know, man. I don't know if that's all attention, you know what I mean? But well, like you look at the, like Michael Jordan or like Tiger Woods and you read some of those stories about their relationships with their parents and Tiger Woods was, you know, up as a teen putting at night until like his hands are bleeding and Michael Jordan just night until like his hands are bleeding and Michael Jordan just trying to get his dad his dad loved that he played basketball and trying to be the best for his dad right and then and then

Tiger Woods both of their fathers have passed away and then they kind of it shook their whole foundation. Interesting. You know because they didn't know what quite what when the Michael Jordan members dad got shot. Oh, yeah, remember that yeah And after that he was like well, I got maybe I'll His whole world crumbled because he was like I'm trying to maybe if I get Four championships or five that maybe whatever this mythical Illusion that your dad would be proud of you. Yeah Yeah, maybe if I got this and then and then of course Okay, he got shot and then he goes well, I don't

What's What's the point? What do we do? I even wake up. What's the point now? Right? Yeah, I understand that kind of Place of Right? Yeah. I understand that kind of place of confusion where you go, I don't even know what, because you lived your whole life for that. And now that's gone and you go without all of the external influences and desires and all of that. And so, yeah, it's- And if you could eliminate all of those things, but they're still so intertwined into your psyche and into your, that you know, I remember talking to my financial advisor at the, we were sitting

backstage at the Opry like two years ago, and she was kind of looking at the, where I was in life and the income and she goes John you're you're you're free You can do it everyone so you don't you don't even have to work anymore you are free so tomorrow What would you like to do That's that's crazy dude, right did you have any idea That's crazy dude, right? Did you have any idea? What I wanted to do? Well, like I was like, we're all working to, first of all, you got to eat.

Everybody's got to eat and you got to have shelter. So that's the kind of short term you got to cover. But then once you, I had a bunch of these things that I wanted to make creatively and comically that I knew were not commercially going to be successful. And I made them last year because I was like, oh, you can do whatever you want. You can do whatever you want. What do you want, you can do whatever you want, what do you want to do?" And it was like, oh, I wanted to make this show called, it's called First Time Visitor, it's on my YouTube where we just go to churches.

We got all of them, because I grew up at the Atlanta Vineyard, was the church, and we probably passed on the way to my church, we passed 20 churches, maybe 30 30 on the way to mine. And we weren't allowed to go to those. We weren't allowed to go to those youth groups. These guys are preaching the wrong religion. They don't tuck their shirts in. They, these guys drank. These are not the right ones.

Ours is the right one. So after my whole life got shaken up in 2019, the being canceled, I go, well, what is the truth here? Let's go to Catholic Church. Let's go to Pentecostal Church. Let's go to a Black Church. We go to Asian Church. Let's go to church in South America.

What are they doing in there? Cause I wasn't even, I was forbidden to go to them. And you go into them just like we talked earlier and you go, oh, these are, these are good. These are good people just like, just like we're trying to be. Yeah. How would you approach them? I mean, what was...

Well, we would go, so I started doing it on my Instagram story. This is what you wanted to do when you're financial advisor. You can do whatever you want. This is what you wanted to do. Yeah, and I go, what is going on in the Anglican church? I drive past it every, it's at 9 a.m. Sunday morning. Never been in there, 30 years, never been in there. What are they doing in there?

There's a black church, Salem Creek Missionary Baptist Church. There's a primitive church. They're all, within a mile from me. There's a Mormon church. There's a Jehovah's Witness church. And you go, I wonder what they're doing in there. There's a Scientology church right by my house. Have you gone in?

No, I haven't gone in. I was just gonna ask you if you went to a Scientology church. Well, I'm scared to go in there because they don't have a service. There's not like a Sunday morning meeting. There's a bunch of classes, so you can't just go in. Yeah. But if, what are they doing in the,

and according to the way I grew up Mormons are not Christian and Jehovah's Witnesses are not Christian, but Catholics Kind of our Christian to to how I was raised I don't believe is anymore But but I would never I would be over not be allowed to date a Catholic. Really? No, never. No kid. Never, dude. Why?

No, I don't know. Just curious. I grew up Catholic. Yeah, really? Yeah. It was other than, and we were just... Interesting. Yeah, so you go, because we went over to...

Or Morocco, I went on a Christian mission Because we went over to Morocco. I went on a Christian mission to Morocco in college, which is Muslim. It's in Northern Africa. And I was like, wait. And I met so many nice people there and so many friendly people in the culture and so I believe when I go, wait, so my religion, according to my religion, all these people are going to hell, right? And I was like, wait, these aren't like,

these are regular people. Are they like me? Are they got kids? They like sports? We're talking about, I'm like, all right. I just like rattles you a little bit because you always think they're other than or they're in and they're like, oh.

I'm really interested in this. Yeah, it is. It's on my. I told you at breakfast that I'm relatively new to faith. Oh, yeah, yeah. And one of the things, and I'm excited to be here, by the way. Thank you.

One of the first things that I noticed I'm excited to be here, by the way. Thank you. One of the first things that I noticed about going public about, when you go public and say, hey, Jesus is my savior. Instantaneously, there's like a switch in people's brains that go,

oh, now I can freely judge you and tell you exactly how you wanna live and how everything you're doing is completely fucked and you don't belong in Christianity. And if you don't believe in Jesus in Christianity, the way I do, then you're a piece of shit. And man, I tell you, it didn't take long. It did not take long for that to happen.

It's a warm welcome. Yeah, right? Yeah, wow. But where does that come from? Because, you know, and I have a few different mentors and they all have different ideas in different perspectives on things that I have questions about. And I like to hear a lot of perspectives because it helps me develop my own.

But, you know, the one thing that everybody seems to agree upon that of the ones that I like to talk to is that it's your relationship. It is your relationship with Jesus. It is your relationship with Jesus. It's your relationship with God. And so what is it, you grew up in this, this is a serious question. What is it that this group of Christians, what is it that they think that they can just judge everybody?

I mean, the whole thing in the Bible is don't judge. Yeah, that's in there. That's one of the main themes. Why are they judging everything? Yes. It just drives people away. Yeah, because there's, so I mean, from my house to your house, there's, I'll pass 50 churches on the way home, right? It's where we live in the South. So why is there one across the street from the other one? Well, this guy decided, hey, instead of khakis,

I'm gonna start wearing jeans. And somebody, same as what they did the other day, they go, jeans is not respectful to the, right? And he goes, ah, I don't, that doesn't, to me, that doesn't, I don't feel any conviction about that. I can love jeans and wear jeans. All right, I'm gonna go start my own. All right, now we're at the jeans church.

And this guy goes, dude, we're gonna have, I think we're gonna have like electric guitar, like a guitar solo. And those people go, that seems too far for us. The Bible that I don't, this is more of a sacred, like taking your hat off during prayer. Some people go, well, right? It's just a sign of respect, a sign of, and then someone goes, well, I don't, I don't, I'm not doing that. And so he goes, well, you're not under this because you have to live in the box.

But everybody has their own box. Everybody has their own box that you decided, if you decided, hey, in my box, someone cannot be gay and be Christian. All right. So any, any, any of that behavior is other than it's, you can judge it, right? So somebody says, I'm gay and I'm a Christian. Well, right? It's there and go, all right, well, we, right? Or I, or whatever, and I'm a Christian or I cuss and I'm a Christian.

Some people go, you can't be, you can't say the F word and be Christian. I'm sure you've heard from these people Oh, I You know I didn't yeah, yeah, yeah, and you go I didn't that's not I Didn't grow up like that and And if you were like well, I used to cuss way more and now I cuss less or whatever the continuum you're on of trying to be a more moral, you're like, I'm doing great. And somebody that doesn't ever cuss is like,

you're bad for the brand, which is that's why there's so much division among in the faith, because to a lot of people, you're a great person and I've experienced the same. And then to a lot of people, you're a bad guy. And you're like, wait, what? Yeah.

Yeah, it's very confused. Like the military, you're all on the same team for the most part fighting the enemy. And you're like, the Pentecostals don't like the Presbyterians. You're like, oh, I thought we were all. Do you think religion is an indoctrination? Yes. And I've heard a lot of, uh, from religious people, I've heard a lot of, we don't want to indoctrinate the kids, right?

With, uh, drag shows at school or some of the books, right? Or the, a lot of the gender conversations, we don't want to indoctrinate the kids. Well, I was indoctrinated heavily. I had to go to church every Sunday. I know, memorized so many Bible stories, so many, all the scripture, the youth camps. I was forced to go to them. Now, you would say, you're indoctrinating

your children currently. You would say, for good. Right? You're telling them, hey, this is what you and your wife have passing along to them. This is the way to live, that we have found this the most successful. We are gonna pass that on to them. This is the way to live, that we have found this the most successful, we are gonna pass that on to you.

So, work hard, don't lie, show up for school and somebody else that doesn't, their parent that doesn't, hey, if you're having a mental health day or you're having a tough time, don't go to school. I never had a sick day or a never missed a day of work ever. That was not what we did in our family. You just didn't, you told them that you're going to, I never quit any kind of sport.

You said you're going to do it. And then if another parent currently doesn't believe that, they will indoctrinate their, everybody's indoctrinated. Yeah, yeah. You have to. There's no person that is out here that's not. Yeah, I mean, you're indoctrinated since birth. Yes. And even if it was not religion, the patriotism, or like, you're indoctrinated to your like, well, I don't know. We always just stood for the flag and then there's other obviously there's people in

the world that are like, we're against y'all. Well, this is my team. Yeah. Yeah. And everybody's more, some people are more loyal to the flag than others. Do you think that, see, I don't know what, what I'm trying to get at is there is, there is, and I do not know how to put this into words, but there's religion, like Catholicism, like Protestant, like Jehovah's Witness, like Mormons.

Practice, yeah. Practice, and then there's actually just the truth Or what would you call it? You know your relationship? I call it a Religion versus a relationship. Okay, I've heard about that. That's what I'm getting. So if you At what point so yeah, that's perfect. Yeah, if you say, hey, I got to the five pillars of Islam or Catholicism, right? I got to be to go to heaven. I'm not Catholic, but you got to be baptized, right? And you got to give to the church, attend the church, perform the rituals. Is there communion? Yeah, there's communion. Like a lot the rituals. There's communion.

Yeah, there's communion. Like a lot of ritual. There's reconciliation. Yeah, confession. All that kind of stuff. Yeah, right. And then Islam has alms to the poor, pilgrimage to Mecca. The things that you have to do in the religion to be a member of it. At what point did you kind of realize

or kind of push that aside or have you? So I started getting, I was making, basically me showing up to church and trying to impress the girls. I was kind of on that road. I just started kind of doing the announcements at church, like being the funny guy, right? Around the church, and I was in this like, you know, you're in with the pastor or you're cool, or you have more clout around church or you're a big deal when you go in there, right? It's like a social community. And I remember, I wrote a story about this in my book about how I was, I came up big in like the purity culture

where like no kissing until marriage, like sex is, if you go have sex, you're gonna, God hates that because our parents so scared of it. Right? It's the one thing that is don't do it, never kiss a girl that right. So. That was how I was raised. Like, no, there's a lot of like checking in.

I remember going to like, you'd have to we'd have to go to church early on Sunday mornings and report to the. Our pastor, if we like masturbated or looked at porn that week. It's like a check-in. If you had, you were kind of like, it's not good, but if you didn't, you were like, these were things that were kind of commit, these were communicated kind of subtly, right? That you're like the purity is important to be a virgin till marriage, all these types

of things. So then I started putting these videos that I was making at church, at church. I started putting on YouTube and that's how my career, like all the jokes that I was telling you about going to church. And I was like, kind of irreverent about the whole thing. Started to get traction outside of my church community. And then it all kind of blew up where every people recognized me on the street.

What's up? Are you the guy that makes those videos? And then it started touring as a comedian, but I was like drinking a bunch and like, I was, it was kind of. Let's go back. Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry. Before we get into the. Yeah.

I went from 10 years old to 30. You're like, yeah, sorry, sorry. Before we get into the... Yeah. I went from 10 years old to 30. You're like, yeah, what happened? So at 10 years old, you started making jokes and all this stuff. Yeah, just making... Well, I would see like... Like I knew, like let's say for example, like the church was trying to raise money because I knew my dad was the pastor and he was like, we need to raise money for this building project or this wing of this or whatever.

And then I would see like a sermon on like the importance of giving. And I'd be like, wait, I knew the behind the scenes of it. So I was like, well, I know God didn't tell you this. I know that the, you this. I know that we need money for the thing. And so I would see the backside of it and the front side of it and what they were saying to the people, but I was at home. And I was like, and so these are the kind of things that I was just like whispering to my buddies. I was like, look at this. Just kind of like, I didn't...

And so that was the basis of all my... Like one of the first video that ever went viral for me was this video called Christian Girl Instagram. So there was a phenomenon on Instagram where Christian mostly would women would do it where their Bible would be open. They'd have a highlighter. They'd be like, mm, and they would have a cup of coffee with a journal, and everything was ornately like, look how good of a Christian I am. And the video was like, here's how to make the best

to get the most likes. Here's how to make the best, arrange the best photo. Because it was like, dude, I know you read the Bible for four minutes and this photo took 30 minutes. And everybody was like, holy shit, dude, like I can't believe this exists. I can't believe this video, it was like a fake tutorial about how to get more likes on your Bible Instagram photo. And it was such like, uh, and people were so hurt by it because people did it. And it was true.

Yeah. And the truth is the only thing that's ever offensive. And it was at the time this is, it was like, it was jokes like that, that you were like, I can't believe this guy, this exists out loud now. And so I just went down on that road, I mean, but I did it from the inside because I'm still obviously a believer and we're very active in my church now.

And it's like, I'm not pointing fingers at y'all. I'm like, this group is nuts. But I love them and I'm still in this group. How old were you when you started that? I mean, probably. I was always active in church and doing it kind of like privately, kind of like this guy. Like, I remember I showed up at church and they had a the reserve parking spots for the pastors all up front.

And I was, I did a fake pastor welcome videos. Like you're welcome to our church. Like we're here to serve. Okay, sorry, not, don't worry about the sign, but we are here just like Jesus to put other people in front of ourselves. And then it kept panning over to the sign. And we're here just like Jesus to put other people in front of ourselves. And then it kept panning over to the sign.

And we're like, all right, now, you know what I'm saying? You're like, okay, well, not, okay, sorry. This is just for, I didn't mean this, but what I'm saying is that we welcome everyone and your guests are important. And it kept, right? And I remember a guy came, a guy came to my show, a pastor came to my show and he came to the meet and greet one time and he goes, he had his reserve parking spot for the pastor and he signed it and he goes, I just want to give this to you.

And we, I was so moved by your message that we took our pastor parking spots down. So I was always that, I do it professionally now, but I was always that guy. Yeah, just being like Calling it out kind of yeah, and then you go That doesn't Doesn't make sense or it was like I had this video called private jet pastor where I was like a pastor on a private jet And I was like we rented a jet and I was like a pastor on a private jet. And I was like, we rented a jet. And I was like, listen, we need money. No, it's not for me. I need to get, you know what I'm saying?

It's just like, that was the best way that I knew how instill is by the way to expose it. Is to make light of it. To be like, this pastor, that's not gonna go anywhere, but you make it so funny that you be like, this pastor, that's not going to go anywhere, but you make it so funny that you're like, gosh, this is, it's so true though. It's so, and that's what everybody kind of gravitated around that. And then it was, but it was like, I was still in it though.

Yeah. So I'm still in the, you know, the purity culture is what we call, there was culture, there was like a... When we were 12, 13, we went to this ceremony. It's called True Love Ways where you agree to... You sign a certificate and agree to be a virgin until marriage. Now I have a joke about it. Now in my show, I go, we all signed that at 12 and 13 and some of us didn't know how hot we

were going to go on to be. So like, I go, no, I go, this guy plays the flute and he collects Pokemon cards. I'm on the same virginity contract. I got skills or like I got, I turned out to be popular. And it's like, it's a joke obviously, but it's like, all these things are, I mean, there's things about the military that you go, that was crazy. But you love it and you would do anything for the, I mean, you would do what the time in the military, you'd do anything for those guys, but also you've even made jokes out

here like, I don't know if they're that smart over there, but you're one of them. That's what you can say that. That's true. If somebody from another, if somebody from somewhere else was making fun of our military that they weren't very smart, you would be pissed at them. Probably right. Yeah.

But you're allowed to because we know that you almost gave your life for it. So you're allowed to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you're craving attention and comedy started at about age nine to 10.

Yeah, informally. I mean, I was always remembering being, all my family would say, well, you were so shy, but whenever you would tell stories, they would just be, you were shy, you were timid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I still am, still am pretty introverted. I may do it on stage, but that's not, that's for, I don't, whenever I would go out anywhere, I don't want to attract attention or be, I want to, yeah, keep to myself. I do it professionally, obviously, but yeah, it was always, I couldn't really, just like we talked about this whole time, I couldn't make sense of a lot of things. And I go, I just, wait, you say, I remember in, I went to, I was homeschooled and then I went to a small Christian school and they said,, you gotta tuck your shirt in. You gotta tuck your shirt in,

cause that's the, whatever the rule is, that didn't make any sense to me. And I probably got detentions are written up and suspended so many times, cause I just didn't, I didn't agree with that. I didn't think that was a good rule. If he's like, hey, nobody can bring a gun to school. I'd be like, yeah, that makes sense. Or no, or you got to show up on time. You got to be in here at eight o'clock because

that's when the bell rings. That makes sense that scene, but it didn't make sense to me. And I never, I was grew up very, very legalistic and drinking alcohol, sex and alcohol were the, were the, no, we don't mean my parents don't drink, still have never drank, but everyone and all my siblings do, which is funny, but I remember at 22, I went to this Christian internship and the rule was no drinking, and that's when I started drinking. No kidding.

Because I go, no, I'm 21. I can do, the law says that I'm allowed to. And I don't agree with this. And I'm not doing that. Yeah. I'm not doing that. Yeah. So you got a problem with authority.

Yeah, dude. That's what comedy is. It's what comedy is they go, my not. I have this downtown Nashville. It's funny because everything all paid parking now. Everywhere you got to pay for parking everywhere. And it used to be in 2018. There was no paid parking anywhere. And now they have the bar codes, you know, the QR codes and you just get it.

And I go, I'm not. I'm just going to start not paying. I'm never going to pay. And I go, I'm going to pay the tickets. If I get them, I'll pay the tickets. And I bet over the course of a year, that will be cheaper. I mean, I'm down there three times a week or anywhere. And I go, I just don't pay it.

I mean, I'm down there three times a week or anywhere and I go, I just don't pay it. What's cheaper? Well, yeah. Well, currently, I mean, I track it on my, I track it in my glove box on a piece of paper and I'm like currently plus $320 or something like that. It's January as we just started the year. By not paying it? By not paying. You're coming out ahead.

Yeah, way ahead. Way ahead. I'm doing this. Close all the time you save just by like, oh, wait, which after we have to download, who do I have to text? Yeah, who do I, where do I got to say? Yes, I just don't pay any of them. But you've never been towed. Once.

One time. I towed once and I got booted once. All right. But so I towed once. That was 350 and I got booted once, it was $75. And I never pay. But again, that would be, I mean, it's probably a terrible, somebody's watching this, like I'm going to start doing that. I mean, you just set a trend a, let's say a moral standpoint, is that stealing, in terms of back to your, in terms of, alright, nobody would consider that to be not Christian.

According to what we've talked about, some people, some Christians have a problem with your pavers, some don't right so if you Set you've held somebody up and took their wallet that's stealing right yeah, somebody if somebody If you watch someone else's Netflix you take their password and watch movies is that stealing? technically it is that stealing? Technically it is. That is stealing, but culturally, that is very accepted. Right? So what you're talking about in terms of morality, is that stealing or no?

It is. If you go to Chipotle and order a water cup and you put a sprite in there, is that stealing or no? That is stealing. And the Bible says, thou shalt not steal. So does Chipotle order a water cup and you put a sprite in there? Is that stealing or no? Bet it's stealing. And the Bible says, thou shalt not steal. But we don't take that serious. If you buy a pair of shoes, wear them one night for an event, return them or not a pair

of shoes, let's say a jacket, return it. I used to buy props for videos all the time. I need a couch. Go buy it. I didn't like this couch, return it. I used to buy props for videos all the time. I need a couch, go buy it. I didn't like this couch, return it. Is that stealing? That's borrowing. Some would say.

Because the company is not losing because you're returning. But if everyone did that, the company would be out of business. But Walmart, they have theft. They understand a certain percentage of their products are will be stolen. That's built into the price. So morally, you could justify that. And that's why there's a church on every block. Because you would say, well, I would never do that.

And they go, I don't know. We don't have a problem with it. And you're like, but that my box does not allow for that. My box does does not allow. I know there's there Pentecostal. They got to wear full length jeans, skirts, the women have to wear skirts because any type of skin showing is or you know, there's the Muslims that have the full, you've seen them in the airport, the full wrapped everything.

So you're telling me every one of my shows every weekend, there's there's women, there's Pentecostal women in my hair that are not in my hair in my show that have never cut their hair. They're in my show, not in now in 2024. So you're telling me the God that you've claimed to give your life to has mandated that you not cut your hair or and they don't wear makeup either.

And you get up every day and wear a skirt and don't cut your hair and don't wear makeup or Amish people. I grew up Mennonite. My parents were Mennonite, they met at Mennonite College. You grew up Mennonite? My parents did. I did not.

My parents left the Mennonite Church to go to what you would call a Pentecostal Church. But the Mennonite broke away from the Am Amish and there's Amish people, there's thousands of them in this country that drive a horse and buggy. You're seeing them? Oh yeah. We see them around here all the time. All the time. And that's a religion. So you're telling me that the God that you serve does not allow an engine or a hair dryer

or a generator or you're peddling your bike to work and a motorcycle, you could get their way easier, make more, and they said, no, it's the way we're choosing to live. And that's hard. Is that not? Yeah. On the surface, you drive by and you go, oh, that's cute, right? That's cute. They got a horse and buggy in there.

Like, no. They don't have a, they don't have a cell phone because of their religion. And everybody just kind of goes, oh, whatever. I go, no, not whatever. That's wild. But then we're down there. We go Christmas amongst the Amish every year. We go down in Sarasota, Florida

and we Christmas in that community because we're kind of still in that community and they're like my sister-in-law she goes do you think they see us with all our cell phones and cars and I go dude they're way happier than we are. Way happier. Way happier. So you might go well who's winning here? So your kids want to be on their iPhone, but not if you were like, hey, an hour is long enough. Do you not?

So you've said this is too much to them. You're just farther along down on the scale. If they want to sit and eat sour patch kids and watch the iPhone all day and you would not allow that. No. Because why? Because when you give your phone to a kid, you're not giving your kid access to the world. You're giving the world access to your kid. Yeah, they're not ready for that. So all the stuff that we know or learn or have exposed about whatever,

are we are we I envy the Amish people sometimes. I'm with you. Don't you? I do. I'm like, man, I'm trying to live like y'all. I'm trying to live like y'all. They at night, they all go out and they play volleyball. And everyone sits around and watches and they just drink coffee.

No one's, there's no police. And they're probably all in the moment. All in the moment, no cell phones, no alcohol. I envy, I'm trying to be like, y'all, we're not winning by having all this other stuff. Yeah. If you wonder what the average life expectancy of an Amish person is. Oh yeah, well they came out and said there's no history

of most of them don't get vaccines or anything like that. Not the COVID vaccine, just any of them. And there's no autism. This is gonna be a conspiracy theory, but there's no disease. Hey man, I just want to- That's not verified. Someone's gonna fact check me on that.

That's not totally true, obviously, but there's like, those are people that are, they're doing it right. Not us. Yeah. You know, there's a, have you seen that? I can't remember if it's on Netflix or Amazon or whatever streaming platform it's lived to a hundred

or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was pretty interesting. Yeah. Some simple lives about what, yeah, what you're putting in your body and what you're doing and what you're, yeah, the stress. And yeah, and it will,

it will communicate to you that it is not, it can't do what you're asking it to do, you know? It does have limitations and you can, yeah. The idea, the Amish, they get up and they put their hands to the ground and work and plow and then come in and have a dinner and sit around with the family and everybody talks to each other and is known and is seen. Obviously the Amish community, there's problems.

And I don't speak for them, by the way. But you go, man, whoever's making fun of them, it's not gonna be me. Not gonna be me, bro. You're a philosophical human, that's pretty. I try to, somebody said a comedian, like, you know, a lot of comedians are like depressed or a lot of comedians commit suicide or, I think a lot of everybody commits suicide but you just hear about the comedian, somebody comedian. go around all day and we take everything in.

Take everything just the world, the news, the people being treated unfairly, lies. And we try to verbalize it as a rainbow, what everybody can, it's helpful to people. And sometimes you say I'm a, what'd you say I was? Philosophical. Sometimes it too much goes in and it doesn't. I just like, I'm like very, like very, very, very sensitive

to the world and I just, everything, I receive everything. Why is he doing that? What's going on here? What's going on? It's just where some people could just. How do you offload that? I just went to, well, I mean.

Maybe you don't. Maybe I don't. Yeah. I mean, comedy would be the outlet for it, but I have like, I have three Word documents on my desktop, on my computer. There's a green, yellow, and red. So I got a show this weekend at Nashville.

I do about an hour of material. Green is like what's working, right? Yellow is like what's a joke that's not really polished up yet. It's not really done. It's kind of in the, there's some funny parts of it, but it's not done. And then red is jokes that I've written and tried and they don't work.

So the green document is probably six pages. The yellow document is probably 14 pages. The red document, well over a thousand pages. Interesting. Well, and I never deleted a thought ever. Well, and I write them in my phone and then I articulate it, kind of write it, and then just, and then I articulate it, kind of write it, and then just,

and it's all back there. And there's, I was like, how do you memorize an hour? I was like, I don't have to memorize it. It's all in there all day, all day, every day. If you thought about offload, not a minion, you. About that. Well, so if I have a, I'm trying to think of a, like we have a podcast that we do every week, obviously, and you go, you talk about that as it makes, and we make fun of something, right? We make, we make light of something to help us deal with it.

This guy, instead of a situation where there's probably a healthier way to deal with it, we get on this guy on the news or this politician or this whoever is. Oh, that drives me crazy. Get on, talk about it, have a good laugh, post the video. Everybody laughs at it. You're like, all right. I feel better. A guy used to have a joke about how...

I used to have a joke speaking of what we talked about earlier. I was like, I don't know anything about tools or manual labor. And I used to have a joke in my show for the longest time. I go, my dad, my car was smoking one time and my dad goes, let me check the engine and I popped the trunk. The engine is not in the trunk. But yeah. And then I go, my dad goes, I can fix this, go get me the Phillips.

And I said, and I came back with the neighbors. I go, how are they going to help us? What are they? Right? So that, but based on what we've already talked about on this podcast, that comes from a real place of pain. Right? Yeah. I have a sincere insecurity about not knowing how to do stuff.

If me and you were like, we're grilling out together, let's go start the grill. I don't, it's funny, but I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to check the propane or turn on the thing. I just, I don't, if somebody was like, hey, go check the engine or the car or put in some fluid, I just don't know how to do it. And I've never learned and it's a legitimate insecurity.

Really? But I have a joke in my show. I say, my girlfriend, she brought me her car. She's like, hey, can you fix this? And there was a tire, it was a, the light on the dash was a tire with a lightning bolt in it. And I was like, I don't think that tire is getting electricity. And that's that, that joke helps me feel better.

Yeah. Cause everybody laughs at it. And it's all silly. Now I go, ah, and that's what comedy is. That's a real insecurity or me at times being not being poor or not being able to attract women. Right? And you make a joke of it. Everybody laughs and you're like, okay, I'm right.

Right? And then it absolves itself. Now that insecurity still does exist, but that certainly helps me with it. Yeah, so you- If you asked me, hey, let's go out into my, let's go out into the garage and we're gonna look at my, I don't know.

I don't know what's going on. I don't know cars. I like to drive them, but I don't know anything about them. And so if I go to the mechanic and he's like, oh, you're going to, it's going to be 300 for this, 400 for this. I made a joke in my show about how the guy came over to paint my house to paint the three interior rooms. And I was like, legitimately, is this $300 or $30,000? I don't know.

I just don't know. Like if he was like, hey, it's gonna be 16 grand for this. I'd be like, I might be like, yeah, it seems like a lot. But I would be like, all right. And that's a real insecurity, but I make light of it and I feel better. Yeah. And that's a lot of people, by the way,

if you're at your office and your boss comes in with this HR thing and you're like, you sit there and you go, you wanna have your job, right? So you go, okay. And then you and the guy in the cubicle, you go, this. Right? It's a coping mechanism for real pain though. And that's every any great comedian,

that's what he's doing. Interesting. That's what he's doing for sure. I was at a, I sat at a show with Tim Hawkins who's a comedian, a buddy of mine. I was at his show and he's making a joke about a CPAP machine wearing a CPAP machine that's a story for. About how it's not romantic and you got your man and your wife with the CPAP machine. Is like maybe he's like I look like Darth Vader trying to initiate sex or whatever the joke is.

And I saw I was kind of side stage and I looked down the crowd and there was an older couple. And they were. Dude undone. I was kind of side stage and I looked down in the crowd and there was an older couple and they were, dude, undone laughing at this joke. Just undone. Now why? They could relate to it. Yes, dude. And it was a real source of either blocking intimacy in the bedroom or uncomfortability

or insecurity for him to have to wear it because he snores. And this joke, I witnessed it. What this joke did for them, freed them. Because he's embarrassed by it. You gotta sleep apnea. You gotta wear this thing.

And the wife is like, well, this is like, it's uncomfortable. But it's human. It's life. And they didn't know how to, it's a barrier to, and man, he made this joke. And they were crying, dude. And I go, God, what you've just done for that couple? You cannot repay. Do you see that?

Cannot repay, yes. All day. All day. You got anything that's hit you the hardest that really is just ingrained in you? Oh, I mean, there's so many. That my jokes? Yeah, you.

Oh, I mean, there's that. I mean, you've made. I used to have this joke about the people were like, about the people we're like, about the military. And I go, I wake up every day and I hope we don't go to war because if we had to have a draft, if we had to have a draft, I go, you realize Civil War, it's 18 to 25 year old men. If we had to do that today, we're done. I go, it's like, I'd be like, you ever been shot?

No, I've been triggered. It's like, you're like, oh God. Everybody's dying. And they were like, all right, man, tomorrow we march. And I get down behind the stool, I was like, is that, is that ragweed out there? Can we delay the battle till April? Because my allergies are really flaring up. And it's like, I haven't seen the enemy,

but they've tweeted me some very hurtful things. And like, and everybody's like, oh my God, that's so funny. Cause not probably related to military, but they've looked around at 18 to 25 year old men. That's what you see. Yeah, it's not knock on the military. It's just like a guy that's in his 60s looks at it and goes, then that's that probably that has been happening throughout the course of human history for forever. I'm sure the generation before you thought you were weak. You know what I'm saying? That's probably going on for forever, but you go,

gosh, that's so therapeutic for me to hear because I've thought that in my head and I've never verbalized it like that. And it's so, that's the whole hour of the show. Yeah. And you go, have you ever been to McDonald's like late at night and they make you pull up into that parking spot of shame?

You know, it's like we were not ready for what you were about to do here. Like you gotta pull up and you're like, it's not embarrassing to be there, but like when Christ returns, you probably don't wanna be there. It's just like the idea, it's like it is a shameful experience.

And that trash can at McDonald's comes up and comes over because you don't even want to get out of your car. They don't want people to see you just like get rid of the evidence because it's like, it is a shameful experience. You don't want to be, it's not your proudest moment. And you verbalize that in a way that lifts the shame or lifts the societal burden of that. I see a lot of comics that they are going through so much turmoil in their own personal

life that you go into their comedy show and it's their therapy session. And I tell all the comics, younger comics, if you're going to be great, you have to go into that comedy club or theater arena and lift the burden for them. You have to lift the burden for them, those military tours that we've done. You have to go in with humor and lift the burden. I've gone to comedy shows where I feel heavier leaving because the comic is depressed and broken up with this girlfriend or maybe even racist in a little bit or they're preaching at you

or they have some kind of agenda and they're just like, and you go versus, oh my gosh, dude. That's such a, I mean, there's so many transcendent comedy bits. When comedy is done well, you'll never forget it. It speaks to you so much. When did you start, what age were you? When you started? 25.

25 years old. Yeah. What got you into it? I mean, do we talk about the videos? So I went to, well, he's big in the news now, but I was at a house party in Phoenix, Arizona, and I was walking to the bathroom, and there's these two girls in the living room watching the pimp chronicles by Cat Williams.

And I, he was wearing this green suit, and I looked over there, watching the Pimp Chronicles by Cat Williams. And I was wearing this green suit and I looked over there and I was, I go, what is this? And he's so much control over that crowd and so much, he was preaching. He was preaching. He was saying truths, but in a way that was so digestible and so funny. I stood there. I didn't even sit down because I didn't know that when I go, this is the wildest thing I've ever seen in my life.

This is the wildest thing I've ever seen in my life. And I was 20. I was in my 20s. I had to bend in my 20s. And then I started writing jokes. That's where the green, yellow, red came in, probably right then. No kidding.

I started just, I had a piece of paper writing and cell phones couldn't type notes in them and you could text with them and call, but I just started writing down things that I thought were funny. Just things that I thought were funny, or just, they weren't even punch lines, they were just like, well, that's weird.

Or like, what? Just inconsistencies that I saw in life, They weren't even punchlines, they were just like, well, that's weird. Or like, what? Just inconsistencies that I saw in life. The first joke you'd ever come to is like, how come if you watch a commercial for a prescription, the side effects seem worse than what they're curing? Right? So, we're like, you cure this headache, but you have risk of pneumonia, loss of limbs,

heart attack, death, and you're, death. But I didn't know, I'm not a professional comedian at the time, so I didn't know, I just go, huh? And I just wrote that. That seems weird. And then I just, and then in 2009, I went to the, I lived with my parents and I started going to open Mike and I, not to perform, just to go. So you watch a professional comedian, Jerry Seinfeld or Bill Burr, whoever you love. And you go, I can never do that, but go to open mic.

And you go, oh, I didn't have the courage to do it, but I was just watching it. And I would go every Tuesday and I would just watch and watch and I go, I'm better than these guys. I have to be. I know I'm better than these guys. And one, it was probably May of 2009 because June 23rd, 2009 was the first time I ever did it.

I went to the lady that was at the door, older woman, and I go, hey, I wanna do it. And she looks at me, I'll never forget, she goes, you wanna do comedy? I go, yeah, I wanna do it. How do I do it? And she goes, well, she goes, she looked down at her paper and looked at me. She said, what's your name? I go, John

Chris. Then she goes, June 23rd, you got two minutes. You got two minutes to do comedy. And this comedy club seats 70 people. It's not big. And that was a month from when she told me and she had seen me around enough to know I was not serious about it, but knew I would end it. So that gave me two minutes. And I didn't, for that month, I didn't sleep. I didn't barely eat. I couldn't.

I just kept to myself. I was so like, I mean, the barrier to entry to comedy is an awesome job and you can do it. You could do it tonight. You could do it tonight. You could do it tonight. There's open mics in Franklin. You can go down there and they'll say, I'll give you five minutes and they will introduce you as they come in.

We're at Franklin. Anywhere. I mean, there's bunch from downtown Nashville. There's open mics everywhere. Why wouldn't everyone not want to do it? It's scary. Anxiety. It's terrifying.

It's terrifying. That's where I was going as, you know, we had just talked about you being an introvert. Yeah. And so was that a sporadic decision or did you, was that planned? I mean, I think I don't, I'm trying, I've never been asked that. I'm trying to rectify that in my head because I don't gather that to be, it sounds crazy. I don't gather that to be an extroverted activity. It obviously is. I mean, I go now in front of thousands of people

and I don't think anything of it. I'm not nervous now, but. Well, yeah, well, you can. But I get off, I'll get off stage or something and we'll go into a restaurant and they go, dude, send this. This is not what I asked for. You fry this instead of tater tats.

I'm not saying anything. I don't want to. Now I'll talk bad about the waitress behind her back or something, but I was like, you know. But I don't want to attract any kind of attention. It's fine. It's fine. But I went the first time I did it.

I remember. I mean, when someone new now comes into the green room, we know that they're terrified. And the guy goes, well, he goes, is it your first time? I go, yeah. There he goes, well, think about it this way. I was throwing up, I threw up in the bathroom. Two minutes.

He goes, think about it this way, they can't kill you and they can't put you in jail. No matter what happens here, they cannot kill you and they cannot, I never forget that. He goes, they cannot kill you and they cannot, I never forget that. He was, they cannot kill you and they cannot put you in jail. And that gave me some kind of confidence. I gasped. I was like, okay. And I did it and I go. I first joke, I said, my, I said, my skin gets kind of dark in the summer and people

asked me what race I am. And I said, I'm not white. I'm more like wheat. And no, not no one laughed. No, no. And I go, well, my dad, sorry, that's confusing. My dad's white. My mom's nine grain.

And it was just like, I mean, two minutes is so long. If it's bombing. I mean, two minutes is so long if it's bombing. I mean, so long. And it was horrific, but I was so stoked when I left there. You were stoked? I was stoked. I was like, I'm gonna do this for the rest of my life. I had a black, a 1990.

Hold on. So you bombed your whole, you bombed the whole two minutes. Bombed. And then you left and you felt amazing. I was on 10. No shit. Yeah. Did you know? So you bombed it or just like?

Yes. I knew I bombed. Wow. And I was like, I'm going to do this for the rest of my life. But that's probably the greatest high I've ever experienced. It was the rush. I felt so alive. It was so immediate and so real. I felt so alive and somebody told me like. If you do something and you're terrible at it

and you want to come back and do it again, that's how you know that you've you're made for that. They go, oh, I'm going to figure this out. Right. Some of the the gifts that people have made for made for that wooden table that the guy made you down there with the bullets in it. Unbelievable piece of art. But the first time he did it, it was probably horrific. And he goes, man, I loved it. I love to make it.

This is not good. This is not good, but man, I'm going to figure this. This is awesome. The whole process of it is unbelievable. And I mean, I immediately went home and I was like, cause it's like, if I try to tell you how to drive a car, but you'd never even been in one before, I was like, you gotta just, you gotta just get in one.

You know, here's the gear shift, here's the steering wheel, here's the, you gotta, if you haven't seen it before, I can't even tell you how to do it. Once you've driven it, you go, oh, okay, I got it. And I was immediately inspired to figure out how to do it better. Were you already making the YouTube videos before the... No, not before I was doing live stand up. No.

Okay, so this is like... But I was like being funny guy at my church. Way different. You're comfortable with those people. Way different. You're comfortable with way different. And those people also like you. They know you. Yeah. But I was like, yeah, I went over to the going over to the comedy club. I was like, oh, this is going to I kind of came in like a

little bit of bravado when they were like, not here, buddy. And we love seeing that, by the way, comedians love seeing that from YouTubers still now. They come over to the comedy club and they're like, I'm gonna, and they just, because it's live. Yeah. It's not on, it's everybody know. And when you play music, you can or, how do you know if Metallica had a good or bad

show? You probably not know. If a comedian is bombing, you know. And I still have this to me every week, not, I've done, but if a joke doesn't land and I go, usually as a rescue liner, like, oh, well, if you can't try a new joke on Thursday night in Charleston, I don't know where you're gonna try one. Or a rescue line to kind of,

cause you have to acknowledge it didn't go good. Cause there's nowhere to try it. I mean, that's the whole, that sounds like. That's why it's so, it's so, it's such a, like watching comedy on Netflix versus going to it live. Because Netflix, if it's a bad joke, they just edit it out. And if you do have an hour long Netflix special, you've probably shot an hour 20.

And they took out all the stuff that didn't flow right. They moved things around, they edited this way. You have multiple cameras. They make sure that and you also have laughs on other jokes that you can put onto those jokes and turn it up. I mean, there's a million things you could do to make it. But when you're there live, it is. I bet I still get like a rush talking about it.

It's awesome. And you go, if I did a joke to you, I thought of a joke, I did it to you, you got a different sensibility than someone younger than you or older than you or Republican or Democrat or from a different area of the country where you go to all different cities in the country. They like different things. So I can't practice on you because you might be like, that's hilarious. But everybody don't think it's hilarious. You have to have, unfortunately, a group, a sizable group of people to try it to live.

Otherwise, it doesn't work or you don't know if it works until you do it. And that's what we all live for, that balance. So you got home, you're amped, that you just did your first stand up and bombed it. Yeah. I mean, I just wasn't expecting that. Yes. Most people would not have gotten any enjoyment

out of bombing them. Maybe let's say I got a hint of a laugh on one of the jokes or something like that, or maybe I did something on stage where there was a potential or something. Like I took some kind of something from it. I must have, I must have. or something, like I took some kind of something from it. Yeah. I must have, I must have.

I get it, I mean, I've done a couple of, I'm scared shitless to be on a stage. Oh, are you? I just did my first speech last year. Terrifying. It was. And you do this. The second one was too, so was the third and the fourth.

No, I did, I did, I mean, whatever, I think I did, I did, I mean, whatever, I think I did really well. You know, the audience received it. I couldn't have asked for a better audience every single time. Yeah. But you thought you did bad post or you were nervous? I just don't like, I'm an introvert too.

I don't like being on stage. But I guess what I'm getting at is I can understand how that feeling could be addictive of being up there. It's an adrenaline rush. I love adrenaline too. A tremendous, tremendous adrenaline rush. There was a, I don't even know if they'd tell the story, but there was a guy in rehab that was, I remember him telling a story about these, like he was an average guy, he was a dentist, or I don't know, a dentist who just had a normal job and he got into anonymous sexual encounters on Craigslist. He goes, dude, it was such a rush, like such a, oh my, like the whole experience was such

a high. Now, there's obviously a tremendous amount of shame in that. When you do it, it's like, I feel like terrible about myself, which but he goes, man, my average life was so boring, is so boring. They do so boring. And he goes, like, just logging on, just going because, you know, delete your history or whatever. and he's logging back on to Craigslist and like just looking through the whatever the solicitations or whatever it was just like and I was like that's not my thing but like I was like I was with him. I go yeah yeah yeah yeah I you can understand. Yes yeah or like the I know I've never done any kind of drugs or anything like that, but

I could imagine going. Looking for it's just like such a high. It's dangerous. And it's like, but like a lot of people, like adrenaline is. Adrenaline's an addiction. It can be. You can speak to that more than that, but maybe I could relate, but I don't consider comedy to be that, but it is.

I never thought of it that way, but that was what... The first time I experienced it, and I did not do well, I go, I'm going to do this for the rest of my life. Yeah. And that's different from any kind of... Someone has Jerry Seinfeld, why he never wrote a book. He's like, how can we never wrote a book? He's like, because I can't hear the laughs.

Meaning I can make a YouTube video or I'll make the, I still make sketches on the internet and those go viral and that is still a secondary high, I guess, or when people, a lot of people watch it or if it goes sets a record or something, but not compared to the live, not compared to the live show. I even thought, dude, I even thought about, and I don't know if this is a negative way to think about, we live in Nashville and that the girl that shot the school is like, dude,

if you're, and I think she was, I don't know what a personal life was, but it didn't sound like it was going good. If you put a gun into the back of your car and drive up, you know what I'm saying? I mean, my God, that has to be, especially if you know, this probably going to end in your death. This, this, what I'm about to do is if I start this, this is going to end in my death. Right? And even if I imagined the, sounded like that girl was had some, was trying to figure out her sexual identity and didn't seem like employment was going particularly well, right? And also still lived with her parents, right? And she was in her mid, and she went to, she went to a Christian school.

I think that one when she was little, right? So imagine this situation. This girl's can't find anyone to love, can't find a romantic partner, struggling for employment, cast out by the community like that she grew up. And if you go down that, you drive past that like gun store and you just go,

huh, right? And the reality of your situation, it's all addiction, the reality of your current situation is not good. You don't have a job, it's bad, your reality that you current situation is not good. You don't have a job. You don't have a... It's bad that your reality that you live in is bad. Go by that gun story, go. I mean, if she walked on to a school with a gun, that had to have started. Yeah.

And then so then you go, I wonder if I... And then you... It's a sense of power. I feel a sense of it just speaking of it. And everybody has as cast you out of the democratic, capitalistic, whatever society we live in has said that we don't, we don't, right?

They go in there, you go, man, if I, and then you pull into the parking lot, and then you go, let me just go in. Let me just look, right? And you look around and you go, and they were like, I wonder if I just bought, I wonder if I bought one. I bought and I have handguns and I, it is a string. I have a joke about it.

Like I have it in my glove box in my car and I'm like, nobody mess with me. You know what I'm saying? And so you go, now you have power. So you do now have power, which in the reality of everyday life, you had none. You have none. You have no representation. You feel like the government is against you, right? Then you go, man, if I, and every single time there's a shooting,

it seems like they have a room in their house that has the maps or the, right? So the reality of the world you live in is untenable. You go into your room, lock the door, and you have all the maps and all that you're a God in there. You have the most power. the door, and you have all the maps and all that. You're a god in there. You have the most power. It's like a video game. You have the most power.

Oh, man, if I did that, then they're going to write. It's terror, obviously, but you have the most attention and the most power. And then, I mean, imagine your reality is terrible and every time you go into this world, it's you're a God. And you live in that, you could go out and you work at McDonald's or wherever and your boss tells you gotta pick up after yourself, you only got a 10 minute break, you gotta get in here,

you gotta drop the fries, your parents are like, how come he didn't clean your room and you can't afford gas in your car and they're like, we need insurance, right? All the life. And then you lock your door and you go into this world and you are. Of infinite value, actually the most value. And not that obviously you can do on any type of behavior, but I don't know her or

I didn't know that, but I go. That's it. That reaction you go, you don't even get it. I can't even say I imagine I get it, but you go. Whatever that response is. Mm hmm. Hmm. Yep. It, uh, Whatever that response is. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep.

It, uh, the big shots. It makes, that's all, that's all, you go, why would you, and that's a story, maybe that's a story that I've made up in my head to help me rationalize that. Because that, my, uh, I don't like people when they try to take advantage of situations like that to try to make themselves be more, I'm not a part of it, but my two, my best friend, his kids go to that school and I got a call that there was an active shooter and I live 10 minutes from there and I was at home. There's an actor shooter on that campus. I got in my car and I got my gun and I went there. And I was like, I'm not good and evil.

We talked about that at breakfast. They were like, I will not, I don't know what I can do, but I will not, if I can do anything to prohibit this from happening, I'm willing to do that. In a second, and you've thought, obviously you're in the military, you've thought that a million times, you're like, I know. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. And that was just instinctual. I got in my car, grabbed my gun and I went there. That's interesting. Yeah. I actually, I went in there to afterwards to help them come up with a new security plan. Yeah. What a, uh, everything. Yeah, it was bad. Yeah, but if you don't, if you don't, if it's, it's, I hadn't seen anything like that in a long time. Yeah.

And then there it all was. You see that video? You see that video? Yeah. I mean, yeah, you don't even know. He goes, I mean, I don't even know who that guy is. I think I met him actually. We did a celebrity softball game or something together.

I shook his hand, but he goes, hey, we're, how many we got to wear that upstairs? All right. And just that, okay, you've seen that on video games. You've seen footage. That was real. And it's on YouTube. And you go, my god. I mean, I wouldn't even say secondarily a part of it, tertiaryly a part of that. Yeah. Yeah.

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therapist at any time for no additional charge. Learn to make time for what makes you happy with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash Sean today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Sean. So back to your first comedy skit before we got into all of that. Yeah, all kind of roads. You're terrified, went terrified. Yeah one home Or did the skid? bombed it. Yeah

Instantly became addicted and I never heard it said it like that, but I guess so how did you how did you improve and in in? I mean Well, I would say it takes a lot of courage to get back up there after you've gone, but you loved it. Oh, yeah. I can wait. So somebody told me that, um, like, you know, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. The first time he ever got into a car, he already knew how to do it better than anyone, better than people that

were dropped because he'd seen his dad do it better than anyone, better than people that were dropped because he'd seen his dad do it his whole life. And I've never had a meeting with an agent in Hollywood and I've been doing comedy like two years and they watch my video, they go, how long have you been doing it? I got two years and he goes, what did your dad do? And I go, my dad was a preacher. He goes, that makes sense. Meaning like I saw a man get up, welcome everybody, connect with the crowd, communicate a few points, wrap it up, and dismiss.

I'd watch that every Sunday live for my whole life. And so that just the idea of you being around it, and it wasn't comedy, but my dad was funny. My dad was very funny on stage. So I immediately, I think I immediately got off stage and he goes, oh, that was not good. Okay, I gotta fix, I gotta set that up differently. I gotta communicate that joke better.

I should move this joke instead of at the beginning. I should move it to the end because that's maybe a little bit more of a harsher premise. They should like me first before I say that because it might seem kind of aggressive if they don't like me yet. And so I was thinking all of these things because I think I just learned, I knew what being bad was. And I see comics now, they're like, dude, I killed it. I go, you think that was killing it? You're done, you're doomed. That's why comics can't really help each other that much.

They can kind of point you in the right direction, but if you can't figure out those things, then you're never gonna make it. Why is this not working? You have to figure that out. If I help you figure out that you're never gonna get there, you have to figure that out. Why am I unlikable or why is this joke not working?

Should I fix it? Should I get rid of it? Should I? So could you I get rid of it? Should I? So could you read the crowd? And I mean, did you just restructured and polished it? I mean, it's trial and error at the beginning. It's pretty much trial and error. You didn't change the whole...

I probably threw out that whole two minutes, yeah. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I'm not for sure. I made a joke about how it was something about giving a guy a homeless about how there's a homeless guy and I had like some change in my pocket, but I didn't want to give him the quarters because I was like, well, not the quarters. And I tried to, in my pocket, I tried to separate the, or I don't know what the joke was, but

it's such a funny idea. I mean, the joke was obviously terrible. It didn't work. But it felt like, like I was, it's a jerk thing to do. I heard the crowd communicate that to me. Now they didn't say that but it's a, mmm. Gotcha. They will tell you, the crowd will tell you what is working with it. Even if the jokes aren't good, the premise they like,

and they'll be like, yeah, and then you just gotta fix the jokes. But if you listen to them, they will communicate to you what they like and what they're into. So when you're coming up with these, I mean, you got your phone now, but I mean, when you tell me,

comedy comes from pain, from I mean, you know, when you tell me, you know, comedy comes from pain from insecurities from truths. Yeah These things happen, I mean, we are you right in every awkward moment Oh, now it happens during the day and and figuring out how to yeah turn it into something every day Are you ever in the moment? every day. Are you ever in the moment? I mean, if I, I'm trying to think, if I'm like my girlfriend says, if I'm like in church or something or at a restaurant or something, I pull out my phone, I just type it.

But I feel like that's the most in the moment. Okay. I mean, I'm, I go, what, what, like you, when you, when we set up this podcast, I was up here, you were like, I'll be back in like five minutes. And I was like looking around and I go, what is this? What is this?

These four presidential pardons. All these other things kind of, for the most part made sense to me. But then I go, what is that? And I Googled it and I go, who is this guy? And what were these presidential partens, which I didn't know about, which seems like a pretty significant to get that from the president,

seems significant. I go, what's going on here? And you were gone. I go, I'm going to know. I didn't just sit in here. I was like, a way for you to come back. I was like, whoa, this is, I've never been in an environment like this.

And I was like, what is this? And I want to look it up to see what the story is. How did they, and then I was like, I'm going to ask you about it. I want to get back, very... Taking everything in about this whole experience. And that's what comes, sometimes it just goes in and it's nothing, but you're like, what did I see the other day? I was like,

we're at me and my girlfriend were on a hike and we're at a waterfall. And I was like this 100 foot waterfall or whatever. And I was like, imagine these particles of water about to go over this. Like our farms like what? I go, no, think about it. You're like, in the ocean, your whole life, you get into like a river, and then you're going down a stream, and you're like, this is, and then you're about to go over this waterfall.

This has to be like your Super Bowl. She's like, that's insane. That's an insane thought. I go, I don't know, just think about it. I mean, the water particles, but it's like a different, yeah, that's how my brain works for good and for bad sometimes. Interesting. Yeah. I guess what I was getting at is, you know, a lot of business CEOs, they're always, they're always thinking about a business, thinking about how can I build

bigger business? How can I expand? How can I do this? I'm, I'm one of them. I'm always thinking about, you know, an ideas guy and how can I expand? How can I do this? I'm one of them. I'm always thinking about an ideas guy and how can I improve the podcast and what other business segments can I get myself into? And so who am I going to interview? What am I going to interview him about? How am I going to talk to this guy? And it takes me out of the moment in a lot of times because my mind is there. And so that's what I'm asking is, you know, does the, are you constantly thinking about how can I improve my stand-up game? And I'm assuming, which I probably shouldn't be making

assumptions, but you always need to be developing and to keep yourself fresh, right? Yeah, yeah. So does that interfere with being in the moment, with family, with your girlfriend, with whoever? Yeah, you find maybe going to things or going to events or something because it's some humor will become, or it's more ripe for

choosing activities because it's more ripe for a comedy or a good story or inspiration for something, which takes you out of the reality of the situation. Yeah, yeah. I guess I don't even know what a bar would be for not doing that. I don't know what a precedent would be for not doing it because I guess I've always lived like that. Well, I mean, I guess what I'm getting at is just being 100% in the moment. You know, if it's Christmas morning,

and you and who's your closest girlfriend? Me and my brother, yeah, my girlfriend, Lydia. Yeah, yeah. Are you thinking, are you 100% there? No. Or are you thinking, you know, never? I mean, I made a video a couple of years ago about the six different types of gift givers

or some kind of joke, right? So you see somebody or a gift receiver. So you open a joke, open a video or open a, and you don't love it. Or like the, oh my God, this is the best. Like, yeah, I guess I receive everything. I visualize and take everything in and then I, could I make this into something? Yeah, at all times. Okay. Yeah.

Probably not for good. Was that bothering at all? No, because that's like by default, I just do it. It probably bothers other people. Do you think? Oh, is this gonna be a bit? Yeah. Yeah. Do you think? Oh, is this going to be a bid? Yeah. Do you think you'll ever have kids? Yeah, I do. Yeah.

That's when it came to me. That's when it started bothering me. Oh, when you weren't in the moment? Yeah. Yeah. When you're seeing the experience in their stuff. Yeah, yeah Yeah, when you're seeing the experience in there stuff When all they have is the moment. Yeah, they don't yeah What about in the military Well, you know in the military I didn't have anything else to think about I was single Oh, yeah, you know, I didn't I mean I have my parents and my siblings But that's all I wanted to do was that.

And so it was very, it was, I mean, it was simple to be in the moment, especially when the action starts. Yeah, yeah. But you know, I'll bet that's, you know, probably very similar for you, but it's very easy to be in the moment when you're on stage. And you can always, some people have said,

is it, what if you're having a bad day? Or what if you're depressed? Or what if you're something in your personal life? Or if you're sad? I go, there's never, there's never been any kind of reality of any type of situation that a good comedy show hasn't cured for me, at least in the short term, not long term, but in the short term, up there and killing it, there's nothing, there's no, you couldn't possibly have a problem. It wouldn't exist.

You know. Yeah. You know? Yeah. When did you really start gaining momentum then? How long did it take? But 2000. Seventeen, maybe. I mean, the first your first first time I like people started like recognize me outside and first up, excuse me, first, your first time at open mic was 2009. 2009. So almost eight years. Yeah. In. Obscurity, by the way. 2009. So almost eight years. Yeah.

In obscurity, by the way. No, we didn't have any money. We didn't have, we just were obsessed with doing it. We didn't care. We didn't, no one ever thought about being famous or being anything. We're just like, we're obsessed with doing it. And then we, me and my comedian buddies. And now I was living in, I mean, we would,

the underbelly of the comedy scene is before, any comic you know that you've seen on TV, there's thousands of comics that are, you never heard of. And just going to open mics and driving to doing hotel or doing shows at hotel bars and college cafeterias and corporate Christmas for just for a hundred bucks, 200 bucks. Whatever they can get into.

And wherever you can drive to do it, if you can make it there, you would do it. No kidding. And we were just obsessed with doing it. Well, how do you get into it? I mean, who's who reaches who research like open mics for a while? There's like some local like guys that will book one night or two, but typically a guy that's a headliner would have seen you and go, you want to come with me.

Okay. Like if he sees you with the open mic and you're funny, you guys, you want to come with me to Portland or whatever and you can do 20 minutes in front of my show and then I got this one nighter in Spokane The next night that's gonna be 200 bucks and maybe if I can do three of them I can afford to fly out there I mean just but I don't remember being unhappy. I mean I look back at those. I was like geez and I was doing a lot of, because a lot of my jokes were Christian, I was doing a lot of churches, but not like a ticketed event.

No one knew who I was, like a youth group lock-in. Cause I was like, I was safe to hire because I was clean. So youth group lock-in of Valentine's Day, date night of mission trip fundraiser. Just here we got a comedian, he's gonna come up and tell some jokes. Gotcha. But then you were starting to make like,

I mean, I remember I drove from Denver, Colorado where I live to Amarillo, Texas for $700. And I thought this was the most, I mean, did. I got that check, and I was like, you giving me this check to do jokes? Like, I was the richest man, oh gosh. I had a Honda Civic that was black, that couldn't, the window wouldn't roll all the way up.

And I thought I was the richest man on earth. Man, I gosh dude. I thought this was, I was like, I'm robbing these people. I'm robbing these people. You know how obsessed I am with doing this? You let me, you paying me to do this? I didn't even tell anybody that I was like making money. I mean, they were probably like, we just didn't care.

We didn't even, I mean, he was unbelievable. Yeah. You guys would always travel together. Yeah. Different people, but you'd always the same kind of group of guys that you'd be around. Yeah. Gotcha. Did anybody else make it make it big?

Let's see. One, my buddy that writes that I came up with, one of my buddies writes for Jimmy Kimmel. He's a writer on the show. Another one of my buddies. Yeah, no, not really. Right on. I mean, there's guys that have had success, and then of course, I mean, but in terms of there was a couple of comics around there that have had TV shows and this and that, but not

from the guys that I came up with. Now a lot of them are still on their way to some people, they don't hit until they're 60. Yeah. So you're not saying that stuff is a failure, they're people, they don't hit until they're 60. Yeah. So you're not saying that's obviously a failure, they're just, they haven't. Did you have a mentor or was it,

you just figured this all out on your own or? I'll say the closest guy to a mentor would it be a guy named Tim Hawkins who took me around. He was like doing like mega churches. Okay. And he was like doing, and he brought me along with him. And so now you're in front, now it's 2017, 18, and now in front of like 4,000 people churches.

And which is like, I knew everything about these people because these are like my people. It's like, if you, there's like, if you went back and did like a military reunion or something, you would be better equipped to speak to them than me. Because you're like, I know these people. I know exactly what they think. I know even if you weren't a comedian, you was like, I know, I was flying ahead in the religious group. Because if you do a comedy show at a bar, you get paid 75 bucks because there are

million people that can do it. If you go to a church, like I said, you can pay $750 because who else can do it? There is none. There's a handful of religious comedians or that could do a show in a church. There's like a handful that are good. So then I just kind of went in that direction because I loved it making those kind of jokes because those are the people that I knew. And so I just kind of,

just the checks became bigger and the, everybody started to recognize me on the street everywhere. And that was, of course, as you know, I grew up, it was. How did you handle that? The fame? Did you like it? Yeah, I did. I was obsessed with it. You did? OK. Yeah. It's just interesting. At the beginning., the fame. Did you like it? Yeah, I was obsessed with it. You did, okay.

Yeah. It's just interesting. At the beginning. At the beginning. You say you're an introvert. Yeah. But then now you're getting noticed on the street, you're getting noticed at restaurants.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Probably at the airport a lot. Yeah, I didn't probably like the interaction of it. I didn't like probably like, but I'd like to be known and seen. You like the affirmation? Yeah, I didn't like the conversation or anything like that,

at least at the time, but I'd like to be, it was kind of a validation that my, I mean, somebody come up and saw like a video that I posted on YouTube, and you're in the Dallas airport and somebody, I did this like honest football coach, it was like one of the first videos that went viral for me, and somebody was like, dude, are you that football coach?

I'm like, this is what? This is what? It's like, it was like an antibody experience, you have the time, yeah. Eventually you say that you sort living two different lives. Yeah. Let's start to go down that rabbit hole. So let me think. I go, I probably didn't, I never drank, I never drank to like wanting to get drunk or nothing like that until I guess, I was probably like the same guy, like the same guy I was back before I didn't have a

public life. So my private life, everybody kind of knew who I was, right? They knew my roommates knew. I was very known and very seen. And then I feel like once I started performing in these churches and so there's no... At first Baptist Church calls you and say, we want you to... It's probably happened to you, maybe not, but now it might happen to you if you profess faith,

say, we want you to come speak at our church. That's probably gonna start to happen to you. Now, what is the moral code that you're supposed to be following? Because like we said earlier, all these churches have different rules. So I'm trying to think of a situation like I remember I went to do a show at a church and I was dating a girl or talking to a girl that lived in that town, or maybe it was regional to her and she met me there. Right? So I spent the night on Saturday night in that city.

So she was there and she spent the night in my hotel room. And so the next morning, we're going to go to the church to do. I'm going to do the comedy show. Now, my comedy show is the same in the bar, in the church, in the comedy club everywhere. It's just me talking about growing up in church. My dad's a preacher and it's just funny observational humor. So I remember. I go, hey, well, the pastor. Is coming to pick me up at 8.30 AM.

Can you drive your car over to the church? Because we can't be. I'm not, you're not my wife. I can't be leaving the hotel with you to go preach at a church. Not preach at a church. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And but I was like, but in the comedy club,

I was, that's not a duplice, that's not a duplicitous. I know what you're saying. I don't know. That's not a dual life. That's like, that's not, but so then there's this little departure where now are kind of keep this secret. I'm going to go over here. Now, I'm not saying come to Jesus, but I'm doing my... It just, they propped me up. I'm not going to blame anybody because all these things are my

own choices. But I go, hey, you just drive over later. And then it'll be like, oh, here's my friend that happened to come by. Or maybe I was with my girlfriend, it wasn't my girlfriend, but like, here's the girl I'm dating, she's here. That immediately looks... Yeah, you were letting people that you don't know that you made assumptions on how they think that you should be living your life.

You let that dictate how you live. And if I said, let's say that gig was at the time, let's say $1,200 or something like that, and I had to fly to St. Louis to do it. So make $600. I had to pay $200 in taxes, maybe make $300 or something. If I go, hey, I'd be happy to do it. I'm dating a girl that lives in Nebraska. She's gonna spend the night with me at the hotel and then I'm gonna, is that okay? I mean, I would never do that, but then to keep your life where there's no secrets or there's no hiding or there's nothing like that, right?

And then what I was gonna say, like, no, we wouldn't hire you. So you're like, all right, I just kind of try to manage this somehow. I remember going to a- Do you think, looking back, do you think they would have said no? Absolutely not. Yes. No kidding. Yes, 100%.

Yeah. But I remember going to a Texas roadhouse after a show with some people from the church. Maybe the pastor was there and some of the elders of the church after the show, right? And I go, I remember going to the bartender, something I was going, and let me walk to the bathroom and I was, I go, I remember going to the bartender, something I was going, what, and then I walked to the bathroom and I go, Hey, I'm going to order a double vodka soda or something. But can you bring it in a sprite and in a, in a Coke, like a soda cup, not an alcohol cup because these people can't know I'm drinking.

So, you know, so it's just starting to be like a little bit. Now, am I a believer? Do I love, do I follow the Bible? Do I want to be more like Jesus? All these things, yes, but I was also, and then you get bigger and bigger in that community, and then the The hiding has to become more and more. I mean it sounds silly to somebody. That's just a regular person But in this community

These are like the now, I mean everybody can relate to it. Yeah, I would imagine you know, they were like wait what yeah but in that community Those are like the big like Those are like the big like, but now I never really said I wasn't that I think just by making jokes about Christianity, they assumed this guy's going back to read his Bible in the hotel every night or something. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah.

But I didn't, I wasn't honest with who I was as a person. And then that started like the more and more of that behavior and the more and more of shame in that behavior. And then just, I mean, it was obviously a lot of pressure on you because I read this in an article when I was researching him. And this is a quote from you. Every time I had a sold out show or, you know,

the line was around the block, I could see all these people lined up to see me. And I was like, I got too close to these shades because it's so uncomfortable for me, for all these people who have driven hours, but if they knew the truth about me, they would hate me. Yeah. You know, and so, I mean, who have driven hours, but if they knew the truth about me, they would hate me. So now you get to a,

hey, well, let's just have like, instead of like doing, let's just do like a tour bus. And now you got a, hey, now you got a road manager, and now you got an agent hey, now you got a road manager and now you got a agent and now you got all the, and now they're like, I mean, sold out shows up all at churches. And then you were like, I go, man, I'm, you know, getting drunk or, you know, bringing a girl to my hotel room or something. I thought, and hindsight, not true, but I thought that based on the way I grew up with the shame around sex and performatory lifestyles, like man, if these people knew that I wasn't this, I think all of these people would, there would be nobody at this show. I said, I thought at the time.

I mean, how bad did the drinking dip? Was it, was it, was it bad? I mean, it's, it's, no, because I didn't, I mean, Or was it, was it accepted by, let's say the majority of society today? I mean, I guess, I went on Burt Kreischer's podcast and I said, one time in the airport, I had a drink in the morning. Now it's about as dark as it got. I had a layover in the Dallas airport and I got two shots of, I don't know, vodka or something like that.

Cause I didn't want to, I wanted to sleep on the flight. So again, it's like, I, when I went to rehab, I remember there was all, that's getting ahead of the story a little bit with all these people that done all these on paper, way more horrific things than I did, but my shame was similar to theirs. So I was like, I'm, I relate. I was all, you know what I'm saying? My shame was cause I was like, man, if all these people knew that I was, I would,

I consider it to maybe if you were like a, if you're like a health instructor about like, and you have a podcast about clean eating and somebody saw you in line at McDonald's, you'd be like, bullshit. Yeah. We know, dude, not because eating at McDonald's is inherently bad, but you told us that you were not this guy. Yeah, and it was is that does that explain it more? It is no it makes sense. I mean, I'm gonna I'll just bring something. I don't give a shit whatever, but uh, you know, I'm we talked about I did psychedelics and yeah Yeah, and from psychedelics. I have not watched any porn since then. I haven't had a drink since then.

I haven't had coffee since then. It changed a lot of things in my life, man. I'll tell you that. And anyways, so I am partial owners in a joint business venture with Laird Superfoods. Yep, I've heard about it. You've got to be into performance mushrooms. I started reading about mushrooms and the benefits of brain health and da da da da da da da.

And people have made assumptions telling you know, thinking that I am Mr. Clean, I eat everything clean and I don't eat anything. I'm not Mr. Clean. I'm into brain health. And ever since I came out and talked about performance mushrooms and how how Laird Superfoods has the cleanest supplements, now everybody points the finger at me about those gummy bears. Sorry, guess what? I'm human and I fucking like candy. And if you don't like candy, then don't fucking eat it. I really don't give a shit. You know what

I mean? But everybody wants to point out, I can't believe you're selling these. It has these ingredients. It's like, dude, just don't fucking eat it. But I never said I was that. Yeah. You put that shit on me. You assumed I was that guy. You fucking assumed that that's what I am. But guess what? I still like gummy bears.

And if you hate me because I still like gummy bears, then fuck off. I really don't care. I'll survive. There's a country artist here in town that got drunk and disorderly at a bar. And we're like, yeah, who assumed he wasn't that? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? That's like, yeah, but if you, I've always, because I've been sober for four years, but I always hesitate

now enough conversation like this, it's a little bit more, you can discuss it a little bit more freely, but I go, if I post the, I remember being one year sober and I got the coin from the AA meeting. And I was like, if I post this on Instagram, you'll get a lot of, oh dude, congratulations, you get a lot of love. But then if you start drinking again, it's got to be in the closet Because you said you were this guy. And maybe there's a lot of encouragement that you could gain from it and support you gain from it. But I don't want to go back to living to a place where... You feel like you got a hideout. If you prop yourself up to be anything,

a guy that then you're like, oh, if you prop yourself up to be a pastor, and you're like, oh, if you prop yourself up to be a pastor, and you're like, wait, that guy's, that guy just flicked me off in traffic. It's not problem with that, everybody does that all the time, but he said he wasn't that. And he's communicated that he was better than us,

and it shamed us for doing it, and now we see him doing it. Just like all the politicians when they said, you have to wear a mask. Remember that mask everywhere? And then we saw them at the hair salon or at the gym with no mask. And we go, dude, we don't have a problem

with anyone wearing or not wearing a mask, but you told us it's the hypocrisy more than the... But you weren't saying that that was you. No, I mean, I didn't... You were letting people's assumptions control. Yeah, and I didn't... And looking back on it is I took all the gigs. Yeah.

I mean, there's definitely a difference between saying you are this, you know, in preaching this and da-da-da-da- da da and being a hypocrite rather than You guys asked me to speak here. Yeah, I Didn't say anything. Yeah, I don't think that message is gonna go very well PR wise from you guys ask it Well, you know what I do but listen I knew I knew I Knew the rules the unspoken rules when I accepted the gigs. I knew that. I knew that you couldn't get drunk at the chilies after that. I knew that.

Yeah. But I took them anyway. I mean, it probably, either I was a pretty poor and I needed the money or I just, I like to tell jokes and I like the people a lot. The Christian, I love those people and I like the people a lot. The Christian, I love those people, and I still do. I haven't been back to a church in four years. I go to church, but I haven't gone back to work at one, but we're getting ahead of ourselves a little bit there,

but I do, I am those people. I'm not, I hope I'm not coming across like I am. I'm not against those people. Yeah, yeah, no, not at least, I don't feel that. Yeah, you know, and I'm not that familiar. You're on our team now, bro. They're going back. I'm not that familiar with that particular community.

I just, I don't know the rules. So to, you know, what I'm saying is from an outsider looking in, it seems like those were assumptions that they have made. I mean, there, maybe nobody at those mega churches has a drop of alcohol. Yeah, that's true. I don't know.

Look at, I'm trying to think when you got a, you got a, somebody in the NFL that gets like a domestic violence and you're like, oh, or like, I guess did I assume that that guy, you know, he never, or somebody gets a DUI or a golfer, some celebrity gets in you go, well, I don't know if somebody like, let's say that's very synonymous with their brand or something like Kid Rock, did the whole thing with shooting up the Bud Light, and then you're like, well, that's what he does.

Yeah, we know what we know of him. But you're like, Kid Rock is in Kid Rock. I saw Kid Rock at church. You go, you did? You're like, what? What do you mean? Well, from what I gather of him, let's not use Kid Rock or let's use anybody.

Wait, I thought he was, why'd you think that? From what I have ingested of that person, celebrity online, they gather things about you that you've said are not true. You didn't say, but they gotta put you, they gotta- They put you in a box with their own assumptions. Yeah. And then I look back, like I've had, there's a lot of pastors that I've gone to churches that have had different kinds of scandals or different kind of, like I've had, there's a lot of pastors that I've gone to churches that have had different

kinds of scandals or different kind of, and I've made up my mind early on, I go, I'm not following any man anymore. Like if you have a faith in Christ and your pastor has a scandal, whether it be financial or family or sexual or whatever, and if that shakes your faith, I don't know how much of a believer you were from the beginning. That's a great point. That I don't believe in any man. I'm not fine now. Man can help you and definitely lead you and help you be accountable and now explain the faith to you. But if somebody else, a human being falls, that doesn't rattle my faith. I'm trying to think of who the most Christian people

are that we know, maybe Tim Tebow or somebody that's very publicly a Christian. Justin Bieber, I guess they do that really. Somebody that you look up to be a moral person, if you saw in the news that tomorrow that that guy had a DUI or a domestic situation, you'd be sad for them obviously, but it wouldn't. Rattle my faith. I don't think there's anybody on, I cannot, you know, a domestic violence thing, that's different.

A DUI, that's different. You know, you could kill somebody doing that. I don't think I would ostracize anybody for having a drink or sleeping with a woman. I just don't. Yeah. You know, but that's just me. Well, that is what, I guess there were, so there's a lot of, about that time,

2018, I started to get more and more popular and then I started to get more, like there's started to be a lot of like whispers of those things online, like on Twitter and stuff like that. We're like, wow, at First Baptist Church, did you know that John Christ is sleeping with women or not being sexual with women or whatever. Like a lot of just, he said, she said, and a lot of my videos, you understand my videos at the time were very, very controversial to Christian people. Like some people were like, dude, this is too far. This is too sacrilegious. I can't believe, is this guy a Christian or not? Cause what is this, what are these?

They're so inflammatory. The jokes, they were so, some people, most people were like, this is unbelievable. And a lot of people were like, this is too far, both at the same time. And so there was a lot of, that most of what was being said was from peers,

other people that were attempting to be a voice in the Christian culture and things like that. And I remember I had a flirtatious relationship with one girl, and then she found out that I had a flirtatious relationship. She was sending me photos with one of her friends. And that obviously, you can't do that. And then that's what started publicly, started speaking out against me, that was kind of spreading around. So now I'm getting way bigger and that is like swarming around on the internet. And that's, swarming around on the internet. And that's, I remember looking back at those times and those were horrific.

Did it feel like it was? It was about 2019. Was it everywhere or did it feel like it was? Yeah, it wasn't anywhere. Felt like everywhere. Gotcha. Nobody knew WarCare, but in my head, I was, it's like kind of what we talked about at breakfast.

I was, oh my gosh. And there's so much money that was being made and checks that I had never seen before. And I'm not going to say, hey, stop this train because I need to. I mean, I was in so much shame, dude. You don't understand. I mean, you do probably understand, but gosh, I remember would get off stage at a church of like 5,000 people and seeing like a tweet

about how John Chris is like a sexual predator or something like that. And I never had sex with anyone, but in that community, it's you can't have a girl coming out of your hotel room. You can't be sexting with a woman. You can't do any of that. But I'm not a pastor, but I was on stage. Gotcha.

At church. Just. I was drinking more and more. I mean, I look back at it now, it's like, that is crazy that that all happened. But it's... I mean, were you... Well, I just... You can ask any question you want.

I had created my own assumptions when I was doing my research and reading about you. And I know why you went to rehab and we'll get into that in a minute. But I mean, I was, my, the picture that I had painted in my head was a, it was a devout Christian who took a turn in life and the fame got to him and things became easier to get and things got pushed on you and and I mean it happens to a lot of people that's the that's the moves the women like yeah It just comes with it just comes with it. Yeah, I did I mean I was I mean but I mean I was expecting No, that's the whole story to hear you No, that's the whole story. To hear you

slumming around Broadway every night, you know, belligerent drunken and five women on each arm. No, dude, I mean, there was no, just the idea that, I mean, I remember somebody said that I was like sexting. They were like, John Chris sexting with women or something like that. And that was it.

But you can't, again, in that framework of the religion, they hold that so, I mean, there's a scandal over there every other week. Yeah. It seems like that nobody can, that yeah, I guess I was desperately trying to keep this quiet or something. Man, this is like, this is some good insight. It's fake. And it's, you know, this is some good,

I need to hear this stuff because now it's starting to make sense like the hate that I was talking about that I received from the Christian community from particular episodes that I've released or how I live my life. Now it's starting to make sense that, you know, they, I don't agree with it, but at least it makes a little bit of sense. Which we talk about, yeah, like, I like, you know, what, that doesn't make any, or like,

what, what am I, I, I looked back on the time I go, will you tell me what the, now this is an impossible question to answer, but like like tell me what the rules are then So I'm a single man. So Am I allowed to date Probably am I allowed to date Multiple women at one at a time one every three months. Am I allowed to have one drink? Am I allowed to have two drinks and my I allowed to have one drink on the road, three drinks back home?

I am allowed to... Can a girl spend the night in my hotel room if we have two queen beds? Can we have one king bed but not touch? Can we only cuddle? Can we make out? Like you, you know what I'm saying? It's silly to verbalize, but like what,

what of your, what food would be okay with the gummy bear, the anti-gummy, so are you allowed it? What if they're sugar-free? Or what is it? Obviously my way of life isn't working for you unless I live exactly within your parameters, which is impossible to know because I cannot read your fucking mind. Yeah, but keep in mind what you say on this podcast and what I was saying and still am

saying as a comedian and any comedian is saying, by the way, is people don't like. It's disagreeable to a lot of people. Now a lot of people love it. And a lot of people love my, but it's, but it's, dude, the more it's, that Christian girl Instagram video is so much of a slap in the face to anyone who did that sincerely. Does that make sense? It's silly now.

It's silly now, but you go, I mean, such venom from my jokes. And it's that that was combined with it. So you go, this, I mean, we went after everything, every sacred cow in Christianity we went after. Like some people raised their hands like this, some people raised their hands like this, some people, like all the, I can't believe he's saying this. And I was just going after everything. So it was making us so so and everyone was loving it. But the people on the other side

were the very, obviously the very religious were furious, furious, which I look back now and that's a sign of that you go in the right direction. And the people that the three or four people that were loudest and trying to cancel me were other want to be like influencers. Oh, go figure. Yeah. Yeah. I knew that I knew that was what you know, it don't make sense now, but at the time, dude, yeah, at the time, it was yeah. And it was just... People threatened by your success. Oh yeah, what they wanted to, it was, I remember it was, they all, we were all kind of on the same trajectory

of the next big thing in Christianity, whatever. And then they turned on me. It gets, did this story, by the way, it gets, if you're mad now, you're going to get so pissed. You know, it just, it makes me sad because it turns so many people away from believing. Because they don't want to be a part of that group. Why would you?

Yeah. It's stepping into the judgment. Me included, by the way. It's like, hey, you want to be judged? Yeah, come to our church We will judge the shit out of you shame the shit out of you Yeah, and humiliate you until you leave publicly until you leave because that says in our box can stay because that's what Jesus wants right? but That it in so it is it's infuriating. It is it is infuriating.

Well, but keep going. Keep going. All right. So there's more and more of these like groundswells of like these man, John Christ is like I remember is like, I remember there was a story about a girl that came over to my apartment and then she like, her, she got in trouble with like her boyfriend because she had a boyfriend. We didn't do anything, but she came over and we hung out and then like everybody was like, everything was my fault somehow. Like it was like, John Christ is abused. The stories that they wrote about me,

they were like, I would bring girls back to my hotel, but I was like, I was on a tour bus. There was no hotel to come back to. I was with six other people on a bus. There was no, you couldn't bring a girl onto the tour bus. There was, I could go line by line through the article to cancel me. I was like, this is inaccurate, this is inaccurate,

this is inaccurate, this is inaccurate, this is inaccurate, this is inaccurate. But if you remember anything about 2019 was so scary with the Me Too movement that people were like, Hollywood producers were like quitting their jobs preemptively. They were like, hey, back in college, I got drunk and this girl came over to my, hey, just remember that? They were like, hey, just so I don't get in the news, I'm gonna just, I'm out.

It went so, I mean, it just, it was so scary. And it combined that with Christianity. And it was terrifying. It was fame, Christianity and sex. It was like not even actual sex, but like sexual activity. It was terrifying. And then so this, I've started dating a girl in 2019. I publicly announced I was dating a girl and then that was on the news.

So when I'm like us weekly or like People Magazine, right? And so there was women that I hadn't either closed, that I hadn't talked to them in forever, but they, I would always, I was, what I am guilty of is if I regret anything, it is lying to what, no, I shouldn't lose your job for that, but like I would tell women, I'm on the road, if I was only off the road,

I could settle down and be in a relationship. And you know, all these types of, I just, so there was women that thought that I was gonna be in a relationship with them one day, or that I said that I love them, or that is what I still feel, I was misleading. And I still, that is what I regret. Do you think a lot of that came from your own guilt

of not wanting to tell them like, look, this isn't going anywhere? Same with the church, like if I like, hey, this is just like a fun, flirty thing. I don't want to say that. So you just kind of allowed it to go on. It was very careless with women's emotions for sure. And now being in a healthy relationship, you go, oh my God, I can't believe I strung that

woman along for so long or made it feel like we were dating. I don't love that. But the rest of the stuff is... You don't regret it? No, did, no, no, no, no. No, if you knew the shit, I'm not here to apologize for it or anything like that. If you like the,

they're all very, very, very consensual relationships. But at the time, that relationship went public, and that's when a couple of these women found each other online. And then there's this Christian magazine that spent six months researching me. Every tabloid magazine, if you believe it, Christians have tabloid magazines. Every time a woman would tag me in a photo, they would reach out to them, hey, do you have any inappropriate relationship with John Chris? Do you know him? What's your relationship with him?

We heard he's messing around with women. Six months. All the doing all this research and flying people down to their studio interviewing them. Are you serious? They like spent 100% of their energy and time for six months taking me down. And they got the headline was John Christ involved in sexting and manipulation of women. Wow. That's correct. But again, if you don't live in this world, this seems so dumb. And I'm hearing myself saying it out loud and it does feel dumb. Or it seems silly.

It just seems silly. And then they, I'd never forget this. So they had this. So someone emailed my management team and they go, Hey, we've had, we've been researching John for six months and we know everything. We know everything and we're going to release it tomorrow. You're making this sound like they're releasing the Epstein list. Thank you, dude. Like what the hell? He was like he cuddled with a girl in the Hampton M.

We saw that shot that he took in the airport. And you're going to have a buddy. This is enough of this. Yeah. So but they sent it to our. What is the management teams? Everybody's terrified because we all live in this Christian community, too. So we know everybody. OK, they're all every. I mean, I have an agent in Hollywood and he was like, what? Because we all live in this Christian community too. So we know everybody. Okay.

They're all every, I mean, I have an agent in Hollywood and he was like, what? He was like, what? He's like, I don't get it. He's like, what's the problem? He'd go, yeah, what's the problem? Except for any comedian that sounds like a Thursday. Yeah. Like, yeah.

So they sent us this email, like, we're going to go public with all of it. And they didn't tell me what it was, by the way, which is possibly the most unethical journalistic practice that has ever, like, don't tell me what they've found or that you want to make a statement. And the misstep we made. Is acknowledging it. We acknowledged the article, wrote a statement, and canceled the tour. They had no voice, and they never would have a voice, but I put fuel on that fire because

of my own shame, and I was so scared. Mm-hmm. Were you legitimately ashamed? When it came out? Had it not been for any of that? Yeah. Would you have been looking back now? Are you ashamed? No. Okay.

Now I was ashamed, like, most of the shame came from, like I was in church. I understand. I was in church my whole life, and when I would go to church on Sunday morning, I told this to my dad, I remember after the whole situation, I goes, I've been in church my whole life, and when I would go to church on Sunday morning, I told this to my dad, I remember, after the whole situation, I go,

I've been in church my whole life, and most of the, what I'm going to church for is to get freedom from this burden of shame, which at that time of my life was via like masturbation and porn. I felt a lot of shame about that. I felt a lot of shame about that. I felt a lot of shame about that practice. So I was going to church to relieve myself of that shame

that God was gonna free me of that shame, but the shame came from them. The shame came from the church. You know what I'm saying? Does that make sense? I do. It does. Like, I, somebody else wouldn't have shame from that behavior that I was doing. I had an extreme amount of shame from it. Had you never been in that environment, you would have never felt the shame.

No. Because I tried to explain it to my other friends and they're like, what? Right? They're like, what's wrong with that? Or like, they didn't, but're like, what's wrong with that? Or like, but in the world I live in, this was no coming back from it.

And that's, but the way I didn't learn that when I was, got canceled, I thought that my whole life. Like, dude, I remember like, you know, finding a playboy when I was 10 and like being, that was the worst. Finding a playboy when I was 10 and being... That was the worst. I found a playboy when I was riding my bike when I was 10 and I stopped and I'd never seen a naked woman before and I stopped and I looked down and I was like,

of course you're 10, you're like, they're all done by it. And I remember running home and not telling anyone. Immediate shame. Did you bring it with you? No, I was in, I was like, and I was like, I remember my, my mom being like, what happened? Where were you? And I was like, right?

And then I remember at night wanting to go back. Right? And then I remember at night wanting to go back. Right? And that whole feeling is that it was that. So you go, oh man, this is bad or I shouldn't do this, right? And then you're like, I'm never gonna do that again. And then you're like, want to secretly send your brothers to play at their buddy's house so you can

ride back and go look at it again. Man. But it's so forbidden. I get it. I know what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do understand what you're saying. So I remember that one of the most, they were like, we're going to release this article and your, your

life is going to be over. And right. And I remember they were like, we're going to release this article at 10am or something like that. And I was like, I was at my house and I was, you know, 11 o'clock comes around, nothing. Noon, nothing. One, nothing, right? No article. And I remember being in such turmoil that I go in such shame that I thought to myself, if they don't release this article, I'm gonna put it so we can be done with this. Because the last five years I had been living in this to try to, and I was like, this is

whatever y'all think about me, put it out, put it all out. So we can just be done. I don't want to have any of this career. I don't want any of this. I don't want to do comedy anymore, but I'm not doing this. So whatever y'all have to say about me, everybody say it. Everybody get on the internet and say whatever you want to say about me and then we'll let the chips fall

where they may. Yeah, I have another quote for me. It said, if they hadn't broken that story, I think I would have. Yeah, same. You'd come to a point where you were so tired of the double life that you couldn't keep up You couldn't keep up the good boy Christian image anymore. Yeah, and you needed an out

Yeah, I go I mean this stuff got so into your head that you you were you were contemplating suicide Yeah, dude. It's I mean How long I didn't know how to get out I didn't know how to I Didn't know how to get out of this scenario because I was like, it was so big I was like, I don't want to, I don't want to, I want to be live. I didn't want to be, I didn't want to do any of it. I hated it. And every, the bigger, every, every time I got something bigger and bigger and bigger, a Netflix special, a sold out show, an opportunity on a TV show, it came with a lot of shame

because it was just bigger. I go, well, there, there, now more people are going to hate me. When they find out I'm not practicing Christian the way I would like, they think I am. And I feel bad. I feel a lot of people are still in that. They still live that way, by the way. A lot of people. A lot of people.

I feel terrible for them. I go, dude, you got to come over to this side. Yes, that article came out and it was on. I didn't have my phone on me and I was like, is it bad? And my sister was like, yeah, not as bad. The content or the article, though, it was... Yeah. How bad is the dance? Where is it? They go to CNN, Fox News, LA Times, USA Today, everywhere. Christian comedian caught whatever.

Just for the headline. Yeah, and nobody ever read the article, because if you ever read the article, you'd be like, Oh, the lead article. It's a girl. So the girl came to we went rollerblading on Venice Beach. It's funny that my buddies texted me they're like, do the most concerning part about this is that you went rollerblading. I was like, okay. Okay.

I was like, it's all right, buddy call me. Everybody call me, he goes, hey dude, I'm concerned. I go, yeah, I know dude, I'm sorry. He goes, no, you were rollerblading? I go, yeah, I'm not that dude. And then I remember one of my other friends called me, which I go fair, fair criticism. I remember one of my other friends called me, which I go, fair, fair criticism. I remember another-

Please don't write an article about that. Not the rollerblading. Like I remember that I worked with another comedian, a female that I've been on the road with. And I remember, I mean, comedians have the worst sense of humor. She calls me, she goes, John, I read this article. I go, yeah, I'm so sorry. I go, yeah, I'm so sorry. She goes, no, I'm upset.

She goes, I've been on the road with you for two years and you never did anything with me. I was like, dang it. All right, this is not helpful. And then the girlfriend, I've told this story, the girl that I was dating that last year, I go, hey, this article is going to come out about me. So I'm just preparing you.

You might be in it or you might be a part of it. She calls me. She goes, I read the article. I go, yeah, it's not good. She goes, well, now I know this is a lie because this girl said you tried to push her up against the wall and have sex with her. And I was dating you for a year and you never did that to me or like, or something in the release, like this is not, you don't, you've done none of this.

Yeah. But it, like the girl, hold this whole story about how I was, I mean, she came over that night and we were drunk, but we never kissed, we never touched and she was actually smoking weed that night that we were drunk but we never kissed, we never touched and she was actually smoking weed that night. I never mentioned anything about that. I don't smoke weed. I never have smoked weed. She wrote me a note that says, let's do it again soon. Love, Val. And I still have that note. And she was the one that's like, it was, none of that's true. And but I was in no scenario at the time to defend myself. Yeah.

Remember that time in 2019, there was no, all right, well, listen, okay. You were just had to take it. Everybody just had to take it. And what's like Dave Portnoy from Barstool Sports and that Johnny Depp trial that people are like, you can't just do, like, we're not saints, but you can't just crush us.

And there's a couple people publicly that in the last two years have been like, have fought back and that have kind of ended that whole move. They were like, am I perfect? Of course not. Did I make a lot of mistakes? Of course. Was I careless with women's hearts and emotions?

Of course. But did I do anything against anyone's will? Absolutely not. Did I do anything illegal? Absolutely not. Was I not a good guy? Was I not guilty of not being a good guy? Was I not, was I guilty of not being a good Christian? A thousand percent. But that doesn't mean that you should take away someone's livelihood.

Yeah. And that's what the crazy part about it was back then, is that I go, well, what do you want me to, what's the, like I envy, I envy the guys that, where I remember I did a show at a prison, a maximum security prison back at the time. And I go, man, these guys seem so free. They're in here, but they're like, hey, if you kidnap someone, you go to trial, they say, here's the evidence. Here's how long you have to serve.

Here's how long you have to pay for this crime, murder, tax evasion, whatever. And when you complete your sentence, you are free. And there's a, there's what there's a path back to good or a path back to reconciliation with cancellation. It's you're done. There's no way back. There's no forgiveness or restitution or there's none of that. It's you're done forever.

You're done forever. And I go, what's the penalty? I'll admit that I wasn't perfect. What's the penalty? Do I sit out for a year? Do I get my social media taken away? Do I, out for a year? Do I get my social media taken away? Do I what's How I'm just curious how big was your

I mean, you probably don't remember, but you've got a very significant following now. Yeah, you know, you got I think close to a million on YouTube. Yeah, but like eight million or something. Totally. Yeah. You know, on on IG, I mean, whatever I checked your stats, but back then, did you have a voice through your own socials to address the controversy?

I wasn't, I was like popular in Christian circles, but not like in the mainstream like I am now. So I was big there, but everybody, all the headlines and like CNN and Fox News were like Christian comedian, like no one knew who my name was. They were like, they was relatively unknown. Okay. So you literally, you didn't, you, it would have been impossible for you to get a voice to. I could have said, but I knew because I'd always still worked in the comedy clubs and I knew I go, this sounds so silly.

You're like, you're going to come make a post and admit what? You're like, I don't even know how to address this. I wouldn't even know how to. Yeah. What to say? I was just curious. Yeah. That thought had crossed your... Like, it's like, try to like, address it before something came out or something. Yeah, or even afterwards. I mean, it's just

defending yourself. Well, like, I... Because... At the time, let's see, at the time, I just stopped. I just turned everything off and went away. Got you. I went to rehab. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they canceled your keynote speaking, engagements, your comedy tour, your blog. I canceled them. You canceled all of those? Yes. Did you cancel the Netflix?

No, okay, so what happened was they said, we're gonna have this, this article is gonna come out tomorrow, right? So the article came out and my manager at the time asked me if I wanted to tour that weekend. And keep in mind, I was touring in churches. No where but church. I was about 70% churches. I was doing theaters too. Okay.

But mostly churches. So 70% of your business and your livelihoods. Yeah, so they go, but I also had a Netflix special coming out that Thanksgiving. And I was on the late night show. They were coming up that was all about to be released. And then my book was also coming out. So it's kind of the perfect storm for them

to come cancel somebody right when they're doing something. A value, which by the way, every time I've done something of value since, that's the only time these people come out of the woodworks. When you have a new comedy special, you release a tour, you sign a book deal, that's when those same people come out.

Every time you do something of note, they appear, which is ironic. But so the article same people come out every time you do something of note. Mm-hmm. They appear, which is ironic. But so the article is going to come out and my manager at the time said, do you want to tour this weekend? Because I had shows about to go on the road. And I was in so much shame. And I was so, I mean, everybody was calling me. This article was everywhere, everywhere.

And I was either going to have to address it on stage or, and I said, I don't want to, I don't want to tour this weekend. And then so my manager, which all these choices were wrong in hindsight, he goes, well, let's just cancel the rest of the tour. It was probably Thanksgiving, and we had another month of the tour or something like that. And so when the mainstream media picked up the article was Christian Commedia cancels his tour amidst allegations. So if I wouldn't have acknowledged it, it would have just, I canceled and then Netflix pulled the special because I canceled my tour.

So it was kind of a domino effect because I, and I put a, in that article, I put a statement in it because I was so scared and it was like a tabloid. I fueled that fire and I didn't even know what was in the article. Okay, so you, yeah. Because I felt so guilty from the, I go, I admit I've done wrong and I need to clean up my life and I've been making some poor choices

that don't honor God or whatever I don't remember what the statement was, but I don't even know what the article and the reading the article You're like, oh, there's nothing in there's nothing of significance in here man So we we were just so scared that we We use it like a bad management choices and But I was just in a terrible place

and I look back and I'm not, I've been sober since that day and I'm in a relationship with a woman that I love and I'm honest and healthy. And so, and my career is now bigger than it was before. So, it's easier, let's just say it's easier to forgive. But there's also been people that that has happened to and they never have a chance to return. And I understand why they're upset.

You can't just, you can say whatever you want about somebody on the internet, especially if it's around sex, that is, it's a death sentence. Yeah. Oh, so and so accused of, doesn't matter that it gets dropped in court two years later. You know that Trevor Bauer, the baseball player, and that punter for the bills both got accused of things and fired from their jobs with sexual things, fired, cut from the team. It's now been proven that they weren't even in the same building and in the same room and It's like well. He's the guy that yeah, did I still I Still carry around that people to this day and

Most people don't know or care. That's why my shows are bigger than they were before but you still carry around their reputation. Yeah of Your past still carry around that reputation of your past. Yeah. Man, I just... I think that... Do you think that's going away? Yeah. No, it... Yeah.

I mean, it just happened to... It happens so often that it's losing the... In a way, it's losing the yeah in a way It's unfortunate. You know like when we were talking about 2019 the I think gosh do I personally think that the the the the racism type stuff yeah, everything That could be They're saying math is racist. You know, when you-

Yeah, you look back on that and you go, yeah, you don't want to be- It sucks because it's like- Now when there's a real problem, now when there is a real problem, it won't see the light that it should see because it's just been hammered. Yeah, and which I've like, dude, there was like

Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby and like there was real people doing bad things. And if you lump these like words that are like, like the wording of these like are so aggressive that are like, all right, either say it or don't. Because you can't just lump these people in with abuse and like mental turmoil and like manipulation and like you can't say that, what you can't just, but it's so, those words are so scary.

They're, well, I guess what I'm saying is the word is losing the word is losing its its value. Yeah, you know, and sexual allegations. What does that even mean? Exactly. You know, I mean, I can't, it happens every week. I mean, Russell Brand just went through it and it's, it's every time somebody does something that people don't like, you're either a racist or you have sexual allegations against you, it's like, it's losing. It's just- And now everybody's like, all right. It's like the little boy that cried wolf story.

Yeah. Yeah. And unfortunately, unfortunately, for the real victims, for real, there is real racism. That's what I'm getting at. Like you didn't post a black square on your Instagram, your race, stop. Yeah. You're, you're, it's so disingenuous to the actual racism that's going on and the actual abuse that's going on.

Or the, I mean, this is, this is not the battle to be fighting. And not one person on that other side that is, I've... It's, you've deluded the word into nothing. Yeah, unfortunately. Overuse. And sexual allegations, you have deluded the actual act into nothing because nobody knows what's real anymore. That's a shame. And it's based in the whole thing. I like that you bring up racism because the same type of thing is based in shame. So the left always be like anti fat shaming, anti slut shaming, anti,

there's no shame. But the shame is their greatest weapon against someone like now there's no shame, right? So it's now what is what is, if you're talking in Bible terms, what is now, what was in the dark is now in the light. So I'm good. Or I'm not, there's no, the moment that that story came out, that's the best I ever slept in years. Really? Best I've slept in years. And I go, well, whatever happens now, it's the happens now.

There's no, and there's nothing in the article, obviously, or there's nothing of merit in the article. There's a bunch of he said, she said, and I was like, I wish I would never have acknowledged it. It would just fuzzled out. Yeah, possibly, yeah. I mean, it also says that you were virtually shut out from just about every church after the... Yeah.

I mean, are you still shut out? Yeah, in a lot of ways. I don't... You never went back, did you? No, I haven't. The relationship with the religion is tricky because the Christian community, the real Christian community that was around me saved my life. So I mean, dude, I was getting texts and letters in rehab by the hundreds.

Dude, we love you. The same thing with you. Everybody makes mistakes. We support you. Anything we same thing with you. Everybody makes mistakes. We support you, anything we can do for you, you let me know. I was getting so built up and so encouraged, but publicly I was getting just crushed. So it's tricky for me to say,

I've abandoned those people because those people kept me alive. The people in the church, if you go to church, there's a whole group of Christian people currently that love you, they love your work, they just aren't saying it, but they listen to your podcast and follow you, but there's also a very vocal, very, very minority group

of people that are vocal about you. The loud ones. And these aren't them. These don't represent them. They're not, they're, they don't wish for reconciliation or forgiveness. If they posting publicly about you, they wish for your destruction. They wish for your embarrassment, for your shame and your destruction. If somebody, I've gotten, I've gotten private DMs from people that said,

hey, we love your comedy. We just thought that this joke was offensive because we have, and I'll listen to that. Cause that's someone that's trying to help. That's a fan. If somebody, if you say something incorrect on this podcast, somebody will message you privately, hey, I just wanna let you know

that that didn't happen like that or happened like that. You can correct this if you want, but that's someone trying to help you. Someone tweeting at you publicly is trying to crush you. They are not for your good. And so if you say, hey, as the Christian community outed you, the Christian community kept me on earth in a lot of ways. So I don't want to doubt there were so many people that reached out to me that were like, how the whole thing came down, my whole belief of my whole life and the childhood is because I went to rehab, which was like a, I really didn't have anything to do. And I was off tour and it was kind of like a PR move at the time. They're like, we'll go to rehab, I guess.

So it was just like absurd that I would be there. But it was awesome. Actually, everybody should go to rehab. I guess it was just like absurd that I would be there, but it was awesome. Actually, everybody should go to rehab. But I remember going there and, yeah, I had my relationships with my family and my parents obviously still loved me and care. I was like, everybody's gonna hate me

and everybody's gonna excommunicate you. And everybody's like, no, dude, everybody sent me letters. Everybody encouraged me. And then I remember my sister, I talked to my sister and I said, this is kind of, I wasn't in the healthiest place at the time. I go, how many followers did I lose? Because I had like, you know, I have money for four million followers at the time or something. She goes, how many followers did I lose. Because I had like, you know, I have money for four million followers at the time or something, she goes, how many followers did I lose? And she goes, none.

And I was like, under some, just like we talked at breakfast, that I should kill myself. Like, where did you, where'd you get that? Yeah, people were screaming very loudly on the internet, but there will be more, if you wanna build the evidence that you're a child of God, that you're deeply loved, you the internet, but there will be more. If you want to build the evidence that you're a child of God, that you're deeply loved, you're flawed, but deeply loved, or if you want to build the case that you're a bad guy,

you could build both of those cases easily. You could probably build the one that you're a son of God and of infinite value much easier than you could build the one that you should leave this planet much easier. So everybody was like, yeah, dude, we love you. And then I started coming back and then I remember my agent was like, well, this is like eight months later. I didn't do anything for a long time.

It was COVID happened. I've read it for that. And we did a show. We put a show, no, the first emotional moment that I had, I never said anything online for eight months. I said, hey, I need to get some help. I need to take care of my personal life. And I remember me and my assistant,

we decided to come back to the internet eight months later. I didn't know what people were going to think, what people were going to say, I didn't know what to do or nothing. Me and my assistant, Eleanor, we were sitting in my kitchen at the coffee table there. I had these new headshots taken. You know, on Facebook, if you post your new headshot, it goes into the feed. It's like so and so posted a new headshot. No one had heard from me in eight months.

I mean, my family knew where I was, but no one knew if I was. If he's never going to come back again and people, we didn't know one knew. Haven't heard from him. We don't know his side of the story. We did. It's just a horrific time that's embarrassed himself all over the internet and no one knew. And I was like, well, if we're going to post next week or something, we should get some fresh head shots or whatever.

So I went and did a photo shoot and I pressed. My assistant was there. We weren't really thinking anything of it, but I pressed upload and it must have gone into the feed. And the support was, I mean, I will never forget that the rest of it. I was like, oh my God, he's back, dude. I'm so glad I can't believe he made it.

We freaking love this guy. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for... Oh, I can't wait to see what he has to say about COVID. Oh man, I couldn't be... This makes my day. People are like, I'm crying. I can't believe this must mean.

It was like a, it's like almost like, I don't want to compare it to anything in the military, but you're like, you're done, you're out of hope, and you see like a, like the light flickering in the, and you're like, oh my God, maybe it's a, and it, it was just, and we were just sitting there. Man, we were bawling, dude. We were bawling.

And we were just like, and why, why was that so significant? Because this, this goes against all my whole life of if anyone ever figures out that you're a human, that you saw a playboy, that you kissed a girl, that you smoked a cigarette, that you anything, if they ever figured out they'd hate you. And that was the, I go, that must not be true. Now these people knew everything. These people knew everything. And they were all like, we don't do it. I can't believe it. And they were all tagging their friends,

John's back. I can't believe John makes me emotional to talk about. But it was like, I will never forget that the rest of my life. And I didn't mean it to, it wasn't for that. It was just like a, we didn't, we were just doing run some going through some work on the counter or something like, she's like, well, let me upload this. And then we kind of got back to it. She's like, it was like, how loudly that spoke to me. And I think that's what got me into like, oh, well, what, then it sent me on this road of like, oh, what else of this institution of religion have we created that's not true either? All of this stuff and you go, oh, and the shame was if by the way, if you are very religious or you read an article about me and that and that information,

you can't watch my videos or something based on that, that's fine. You're allowed to do that. If you think this, my behavior is irredeemable or beyond, you can't let, that's fine. That's fine with me. And if you're, like you said, if you don't like you because of these gummy bears, that's fine That's silly, but that's fine with me and it man. I wish I wish I Wish

Other I wish that feeling on for others and I don't know how, I'd say that every single one of my shows I go, dude, someone commits suicide on this planet every 40 seconds, every 40 seconds, and we went to my cousin, my cousin grew up like me, very religious, very strict Christian household. And we went to his funeral two years ago. He committed suicide. He committed suicide. Oh man.

We went to his funeral and there was 2,000 people there. It's 2,000 people at his funeral. So you go, wait, if he would have known, look at all these people that love him. Look at all these people that flew from all over the country to come show their love and support of his family, but that loved him. How did you get the message that there was not one person on this earth that cared about you and that you were going to end your life. Reports say 60% of US pork production comes from one company owned by the Chinese and

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Does that make sense? You're like, did look at how did you, how did you receive this message that everyone, there was no purpose for you on earth, there was no love for you, that everyone, if they knew you did drugs that they would hate you, where did you get that from? And I see a lot of people that I,

all of my shows I go, I just wanna let you know that there's a lot of people struggling in here with depression or hopelessness and you're thinking you've had thoughts about not being on this planet. And I just wanna let you know that you're not alone. And there's a lot of other people in here that are fighting that same battle.

And you lay your head down on the pillow tonight, having those thoughts that you are not alone. And I'm there with you. And I'm on the other side of this now, but you're a good person. You deserve to be on this planet. There's a God that loves you and cares about you. And now I come back with just tremendous purpose now.

And like it's jokes, it's jokes at the show, but it's not jokes. It's so much bigger than that. It's not silly just telling jokes. It's like, man, I have have to the people that kept me alive and all those people My family obviously most important and most personal to that but professionally like man Somebody told me that it's not at the beginning of Your career it's about getting laughter when I went for two minutes on that it's about getting laughs and now It's about getting laughter. When I went for two minutes on that, it's about getting laughs.

And now it's about giving laughs. I know what it is to sit in that crowd and I love those people so much that I wished, obviously, and make them laugh for an hour and give them a night out that they'll never forget. I think I'm just so aware of that. I've seen so many people from rehab, dude, that have relapsed and committed suicide.

I mean, so much addiction, so much in this laughter for however long you're in there or even my videos, dude. People come to me all the time or like somebody came up to me, everybody now is like, dude, it's so awesome to see that you didn't give up. Yeah. And I got, and I gosh, dude, there's the owner of the, the owner, not just the owner of the sons, the Phoenix sons who I don't know, anybody loves. I'm guessing he owns an NBA franchise. He must be thrilled about that.

And he gets the same thing with either sexual or racial, some allegations. And he fought and he sold the team. Damn. And he probably made a bunch of money, but I go, gosh, dude, no. You know, not that there's so much nuance in this conversation that not that he hasn't maybe done some bad things and not that I didn't need to be accountable or some things in my life, but like, dude, you can't just, we're all out here. And if you, somebody says, I always find myself always defending celebrities to get canceled or the granite, the world's not a perfect place and there's bad people all

around, but it's like, no, dude, or if you, God, people have like a heroin addiction or people have an addiction, they just like, like give themselves over to it, to let it take them. Right? Whether it's a fight, if you're not, might not be fighting addiction, but you're fighting to get off your couch and go work out. You're fighting to pull into McDonald's or go home and cook yourself some broccoli. You're fighting instead of to yell at your kids

to be kind to them and extend love to them. We're all fighting. And then when you see somebody just go, they give themselves over to it. They go, no. Or that somebody, I mean, it's, it like sober from alcohol is a miracle. Whether you're a person of faith or not, or that I'm in a relationship, it's like, dude.

But to get to, ah man, day one. It's like, no dude. You know? And I feel that's so heavy for people and there's reconciliation that he's happened and forgiveness that he's happened and lifestyle changes that sure need to happen, all of that, but you go, I mean,

I'm just thinking if I were like, I like worked at like a restaurant or something like that. And I go, I just don't want to. And you go, no dude, you gotta, that's like every movie. Every dude, the guy, you know, the guy gets whatever, in every movie, he's like, ah, you know, and he goes, dude. God, I remember sitting on the, like in rehab, and I remember this, that my therapist was like, dude, we can,

we can shut it all down if you want. All of it. You, at any time, could turn these cameras off, deactivate the socials, let's say move out 30 miles out, you just have a farm. Right? Mm-hmm. You could at any time, by the way, at any time. But if you are, there's significant opposition that's going, like it encourages me when people

are opposed to your ideas. And it should encourage you. Because we could, I could, you'd be done with this whenever you want, but they go, if you want to come back, there's going to probably be some with this whenever you want, but they go, if you want to come back, there's going to probably be some uncomfortable conversations that you're going to have, and there's going to be some opportunities that people are going to pass you over because of. But if you would like to, you can continue to work. And I go, yeah, for myself, but there's so many people.

That's all they were saying to me when they see me on the street. Amen. We just want to let you know. They say it in like shrouded terms. They go, hey, just let you know that we've always supported you or something like that. Or did we know that everything that you've been through and we were always praying for you or meaning we acknowledge We we were fans of you. We saw what happened to you or what happened in your life

And we were we were wishing or hoping or praying that you Would continue to do the thing that you loved or for the reason that you put on this planet. How about that feels good? Unbelievable. Yeah, I don't. Again, it's easier to forgive when... You're doing good. Yeah.

And I don't know. What do you say? I mean, dude, what do you say? What do you say to all those people that, not that the situation has probably lost their job because they didn't get the vaccine? And they're just, they didn't come back. They didn't get their job back or the guy that said he was racist and he got fired.

What do you say? What, those are real, real life consequences that people have gotten fired from their job for. I don't know what to tell you, man. You gotta keep fighting, you know? You have to. You can't get off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And not everybody buys into that bullshit.

I think a lot of it's in the head, you know? Well, that's what I realized, because I was in my own head prior. And then you go, oh, everybody thinks this about me. And then the very, very clear message is like, now they don't. Everybody thinks I'm a monster. Everybody thinks that I don't.

Yeah. Now they don't. And it's you're in your own worst enemy. Oh, by far. And those, those messages that are, they're just, they're not true. How did you know how you were going to do it? How you were going to commit suicide? I never, all right. So in so in when in rehab there's a. There's like a one to every day to fill out your form of how you're feeling do you have any anger do you have any suicidal thoughts are you depressed right cuz they kinda want to monitor and it was one through ten. And there's like once you get past.

past, A is like when you have like an idea of like a, but I was always in the type of, if a car comes through this intersection and T-bones me, I don't care. Or I remember if this plane goes down, I don't care. I remember back in probably 2018, I was driving to shows and I lost my, my cell phone died. My cell phone died for whatever reason I was trying to get from Detroit, Michigan to the

Adirondacks in New York and my phone died and I was trying to drive and that phone is always, it is still kind of a distraction for me. You can always look on and there's silence, you're demons, because you can just scroll. I remember that there was like, there's no music. It was nothing. It was just silent. It was so loud. The voices were speaking to me so loud.

I got, it's funny now, but I got five tickets in the course of like a few hours. Because I was just, I didn't, it's funny now, but I didn't care. I go, in fact, I want to die or I want to go to jail. If you take me to jail, that's a wave in the... Hey, I can't do this anymore. I'm in jail. John Christ went to jail. Oh, good.

That's a way out of this time. I wanted to... That was about the... I was flying, dude. I was flying. I got pulled over twice by the same cop. What? What did he say?

He was like, what? So I went from Michigan. So it's like, you think that these cops would know of each other, but they don't. Or like, if you get a ticket, I was in a couple of different states also. So like, there's no way that copyrights a ticket. He's not putting it in maybe until that night or something like that.

And I was like, are y'all not talking to each other? It's funny now. But gosh, I didn't want to. I remember flying, driving, and it was ice and snow. And I was in like a Ford Focus in like upper New York, and I was like, if I go off this bridge, I don't. But that's all addiction. Dude, if you'd get blacked out,

if you get blacked out, how far down the, I wanna end my life on a scale of one to 10 is that. You're not gonna actually take your life, but you're very reckless if not externally with your body There you go. I don't want to live. I don't want to be in this reality either Take a couple painkillers. It's not it's not suicidal, but it's a definitely an escape And you know, it's funny about about rehab and everybody should do this by the way I went there. There's no, obviously there's no women there. There's no drugs, no alcohol, no sex, no caffeine,

no sugar, no fiction, no TV, obviously, no fiction books. And even if you like to work out to get a runner's hide, they take that away from you. So there's no escape. books, and even if you like to work out to get a runner's hide, they take that away from you. So there's no escape from the reality of your situation. Everybody comes in there and they've blown their lives up. There's no escape. You can only do that under the supervision of a therapist, a professional, but everybody's going to go escape today.

This is an escape for a lot of people. Hopefully it'll help a lot of people, but alcohol is an escape. The internet is an escape. Televue, TV shows and escape, caffeine, nicotine, sugar, that you can alter the reality of your current situation. Everybody's looking for that. Rehab, there's a lot of them that I don't really agree with, but if you go there and take all that away, all the escapism away, your body, at least mine did, will over time. It might took about probably over a year.

I was in rehab for four months, but will recalibrate, it will fix itself. Like, I go, so you're telling me I would go to a baseball game and just sit there with a Coke and just have a good time? No way. And that has absolutely been the case. So you tell me I'm just going to go play around a golf and just be in the sun and just like have fun and they go over time. So you are in the moment. Maybe, yeah.

I mean, if you would have told me go into play with my nephew is fun. That would go when you're at the height of addiction you go. You're either trying to do it or trying to arrange the scenario where you can go back and do it all the time. They said it's like if you cut your finger, your blood will rush to it, clot, scab, scar, and heal. It will do it. You don't have to say, you don't have to tell it to do it, it will just do it. And your body the same way with sadness or to, but now granted I was on antidepressants

for a while, but if you remove all the other stuff and communicate with therapists and people that you love, it will. Your mind will heal itself. It will. Now, it's impossible to do without, I was literally, it's like the first day you go into rehab, you're like, you're in an acute ward, not a prison

cell, but a hospital room. You're there for like, I mean, they take away your shoe laces because they don't want you to hang yourself or exphyxiate yourself, kill yourself. They take away your belt because you come in with a bag. Take away your belt because they don't want to hang yourself with it. They took away my hair gel because there's alcohol in it. So these are like,

they'll take away everything that you could possibly use to harm yourself, right? Nail clippers, all of that. Then you're there for two days and I was like, they're a pretty regular guy. They could talk to me at the beginning. They're like, oh, you're free to go stay in the dorm after like two days, right?

Ah, you're good. So then, but I still have supervision after B with someone 24 seven, after like five days, they're like, all right, you can go out on your own, right? After three weeks, they were like, all right, you can use the phone, meaning call, you can, right? So you're, after 45 days, they were like, you can have your car.

After another, they're like, you can have your computer back. And then after three months, they said, you can go home for the weekend. Go do it at, go home and then come back here on Monday and report back how you're doing and get more and more freedom. Now I can drink whenever I want. There's alcohol here and I'm like, I'm good because I built up the, this is not a temptation for me. Now it was at the time to see that, it's too much. And there are times that there were up times of sadness or times of where you go, man, I

wish I had a cold beer or something like that. Maybe, but I'm strong enough to not. But that takes time. I mean, that's the beauty of the process. If anybody says that people don't change or people don't, that's a lie, dude. And you have, that's just a lie. But you didn't go to rehab for drinking, did you? I went to rehab, they checked me in for,

they do like assessment of their alcoholism, narcissism, sexual, they didn't say sexual addiction, like some sexual proclivities or something like that, major depression and workaholism, narcissism, sexual depression and... It sounded like it was the addiction to attention. All the stuff, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, well, that's why I'll be saying that

because I was in, when I was in rehab, they were like, you can't, you can't talk to any women or drink or I was like, all right. Like, I don't know, that, okay. All right, and I remember this. So they have family Week in rehab. So everybody's family comes to visit. There was another guy that was having a faith.

This was probably a month in rehab. And no one knew who I was out there. No one, you just said your first name. And they're like, they don't tell you. You don't even say what you do for a living. You're just out there. And this guy, his wife came to Family Week. This is the first time I'd seen like an outsider.

And this is so against the rules of rehab or in the anonymity of the whole thing. Is this, his wife walked up to me and goes, hey, I was gonna let you know that I'm obsessed with your comedy. And I was like, ah, like, does that make sense? Yeah. I was like, I was, dude, I was high,

literally high from that. It was, that's all that I, for all the way back from my childhood, that's all I ever wanted to be seen and noticed and loved. And I was in, and this woman came up to me. Just like, I just don't know, I'm like obsessed with your videos. And I was like,

are you gonna see it in my countenance now? I was like, what? I was like, oh, and I, that's been, that's been the fight I've been on since then. Is that, it's not alcohol or women or Workaholism or depression. It's not it's that it's I Remember going to I'm the only person in the history of rehab that's ever been banned the two places. I was banned for something

You know most people are banned from, can't go to the movie theater, can't go to the bar, obviously. You can't go anywhere, there's alcohol, you can't go to strip club, obviously, because we had our cars there. It was like a step down facility at the end of it, not at the beginning.

But the only two places I was not allowed to step foot in places, you know, two places, I was not allowed to step foot in or Chick-fil-A and church. Chick-fil-A? Because those are like, it's a very religious place, and especially it was in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, where there's like a lot of Christian people live, and I've made so many jokes about Chick-fil-A, and Chick-fil-A is like a Christian Organization I went into that Chick-fil-A one time and it was like oh Everybody's like what up John Chris is here taking photos texting their friends. Yo get down here John Chris is here and it was awesome Like fulfilling all of that drug of like attention and love and And I was like, they were like, all right,

I was like, but I love Chick-fil-A. They're like, all right, if you wanna go, if you wanna go to Chick-fil-A, drive through only. Meaning like, I know that's your thing. And then church, any time I would go into a church, it would be a thing. And they were like, no more church. No kidding.

Or if you wanna go to church, drive 30 miles out into the country and go to that small First Baptist church. No, I want to go to the big one. Gotcha. To get your... Your dose. Yeah. And there was a guy...

There was a guy, I always tell the story, he's a very... There's a guy in rehab that loved to cook. So we don't have these apartments and he would cook for everybody. Every Friday night, oh, Jim's cooking, Jim's cooking. What are we doing? We're doing pork chops, mashed potatoes, all of Jim's cooking.

It's gonna be awesome. Everybody come over there, right? We'd all go, we talk about it all week. What are we having at Jim's on Friday? He would cook up this master meal, unbelievable. Saturday and Sunday, oh dude, Jim's was incredible. Dude, remember that filet he cooked up was beautiful? And they go, Jim, no more cooking.

And he was like, why? He goes, because that's where you get your drug. Everybody loves you for the cooking and you think that you have to cook for all these people to love you. We want to communicate to you that these people would love you if you didn't brought nothing to the table. All these people in your life currently that we love you for the podcast, oh, it's unbelievable,

the podcast, what if you took that all that away? You were like, who is, they don't even say your last name in rehab. They're like, my name's John and you just show up. You go, my name's Sean. What's up? And people love you and accept you there. Then all this other stuff, you can take it or leave it.

Everybody, by the way, in rehab, they couldn't do their main addiction because they were in rehab, so they found some kind of alternate way of like, you know, there was this guy that was super, super rich, like uber rich. And every Saturday when he had free time, he would go to the car dealership

and like have them run his credit and he's like, I'm looking, he would look at different cars to buy. Because he was a God on that, because they knew how much money he had. And they flexed, it's like, the main addiction, you can't do it, because that's why you're in rehab, but you'd find alternate ways to get your,

and everybody has one, by the way. It's just a matter of how reliant you are on it. Some people love Instagram. And if you took that, I know some people that if you took that side away, dude, there'd be dead. There'd be rioting in the streets, literally. If you took that side away from them

or took away their platform or took away their, that's why everybody's a workaholic. Because it did, if your personal life is falling apart, the kids don't want to be around you, your wife's is what you're at. But at that did, there was a guy, last story I'll tell. Another guy in rehab with me, he was a ER doctor in three different hospitals, worked 24-7. three different hospitals worked 24 seven ER doctor. He was he grew up very poor, became an ER doctor and he was gonna commit suicide. He was gonna wait till his son's birthday on Monday

and then he was coming in and he was gonna shoot himself in his office on Tuesday and he was drinking, he would drink vodka before emergency surgery to calm himself down. That's how much he was not sleeping. He was like, but think about being an emergency surgeon. He was in like Brownsville, Texas or something like that. You are a God.

You literally hold people's lives in your hand as an emergency surgeon. You pull into that parking lot, you pull your Mercedes right up to the front. They put the gloves on you. You're like, the savior. If you don't leave your son's soccer game and come up here and fix this guy who has a collapsed lung, he's going to die.

You are the savior. And he was so addicted to that, just like me with comedy, he was so addicted to that that he didn't never took time off. And he was drinking to complete surgeries. That's how much he needed the affirmation and love of that job and was not comfortable with this person of life. Does that make sense? It got so... He's like, I have to have this, but also this is also killing me at the same time. And he couldn't continue that lifestyle and he was going to wait till the son had his birthday party on Sunday and he was going to shoot himself in his office on Monday. Damn. Because how do you get out of that?

Because he was like... And they were like, all these people need me, all these, and I'm a God in there, by the way. And you're making so much money, but you hate yourself or the person that you've become. And it can't continue, but you also can't stop. And mine was, I always tell people that, man, it's so much better on this other side.

It's just, do you be honest about who you are or whatever, just tell them. But I didn't do that. My hand was forced, not forced, but I was exposed if you want to call it that. Not, I'd, you're like, why don't you just go to your wife and say, I have a drinking problem. Why don't you just go to your boss and admit that you've been embezzling money? Because these are the things of shame that if you, I'm not going to say this to them because he might hate me.

That's a source of shame, right? So go tell him. Well, I didn't tell. I was told on. does that make sense? And I chose the right direction post, but I don't, there's a girl that is a friend of mine that she cheated, she's single, but she cheated. There's a married guy that she cheated with or something

that's friends with her parents. And she goes, I can never tell my parents. I go, why not? And she's like, I'm gonna take that to my grave. And she's depressed and sad. I go, Matt, I was like, I was joking around with her. I was like, give me your phone. Let me, I'm going to call them and tell them.

Not really, I wouldn't do that. But I go, man, so you think your parents, if you told them about this, what you've been beating yourself up for for 15 years, you've told, if you told them that, they would hate you and outcast you to the family. And that's why you've never told them that. And that you've already any shame that anyone tried to heap on me on the internet or publicly, I've already experienced by myself 10x, 20x.

So if I said, hey, if you, if I told my parents, if they, that girl told her parents about that affair, they would hate me. I bet their parents, if they're any kind of parent that loves you or cared for you, that you've already put yourself through 15 years of that and you would have to live the rest of your life with that secret, they're probably heartbroken that you'd have to carry that. years of that and you would have gonna live the rest of your life with that cigarette that probably heartbroken that you'd have to carry that. Yeah. I bet you're right.

I don't know for sure. I don't know for sure, but. Well, any good parent wouldn't want their kid. Yes. That you said you're carrying that around. Yeah, I'm not a parent, but I go just because I'm on the other side of it. She was telling me this story and I go, people are comfortable telling me stuff because I don't, that my old minds on the internet side of it. She was telling me this story and I go, people are comfortable telling me stuff

because all mine's on the internet. Or I say, no one feels judgment from me. So they go, all right, why don't you tell them? She goes, I could never, I could never tell my parents. That seems like a tough way to live, man. Yeah. Prison you made for yourself. Yep. Not from anyone at the end of the year.

It seems so scary yet, I don't know. It seems so scary, but on the back end of it, it seems so silly. Yeah. Yeah, it's sad that people internalize stuff for that long. Yeah, but I remember I told my, it's funny now, but when I was probably 23 maybe or something like that, I was working at a company doing comedy, like part-time working at a desk job at a company. I admit I was looking at porn on the computer of the computer at the company.

And I was either overcome with guilt or shame, or I just kind of tell the truth about it. I remember I told my boss, it was like crazy now that I look back on it, but I was like, I just want to let you know that I've been dishonest with the time I've been spending here and I've been looking at pornography on the computer. And he goes, man, he goes, dude, that's crazy. I can't believe you just said that.

He goes, he's like like porn's not my thing, but I've struggled with a pill addiction for a long time. And I have prescriptions that I have and my wife keeps them in a locked cupboard. And she's the only one that has the key. And I don't have power over that. And I respect the hell out of you for coming to say that. We'll do anything we can to,

we can move your desk to somewhere more public or we can do anything or we'll do anything we can to help you. You're like, wow. Right? That's like Jesus or something. I mean, no, that's, you go, what? Oh, anyone that, anyone that would come to, I can't imagine anyone of my employees or my family

or anyone that would come to me in humility and admit something that they had done that I would not have forgiveness for. I shouldn't say that totally, but like, you go, oh dude, let me know how I can help you. Yeah. You know, there might not be, or there might be obviously consequences of the way you go.

Wow. But this, I mean, you'll take yourself to places that are, I mean, look at everybody, you't, it's sad to see really, it's sad to, especially in a country like this, that you have material everything, that people have lived their entire lives in shame and depression and sadness is really, really, really unfortunate. Yeah. I mean, yes it is. There is definitely a mental health crisis, just snowballing in this country and nothing

is getting in its way. Really not. Not yet. Really not yet If you're talking about good and evil, I mean Yeah, it's it's depressing to see it's embarrassing to witness over and over and over and over which whether it's Addiction or suicide or yeah, there's so much good. There's also so much good in this my life and in this country that there's so much to wake up for and there's so much meaning in life. It's beautiful, man.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, on that note, let's take a quick break. Let's do it, bro. I want to tell you about this business venture I've been on for about the past seven, eight months and it's finally come to fruition. I've been hell bent on finding the cleanest functional mushroom supplement on the planet and that all kind of stemmed from the psychedelic treatment I did, came out of it, got a ton

of benefits, haven't had a drop of alcohol in almost two years. I'm more in the moment with my family. And that led me down researching the benefits of just everyday functional mushrooms. And I started taking some supplements, I found some coffee replacements, I even repped a brand. And it got to the point where I just wanted

the finest ingredients available, no matter where they come from. And it got to this point where I was just gonna start my own brand. And so we started going to trade shows and looking for the finest ingredients. And doing that, I ran into this guy, maybe you've heard of him, his

name's Laird Hamilton and his wife Gabby Reese and they have an entire line of supplements with all the finest ingredients and we got to talking, turns out they have the perfect functional mushroom supplement. It's actually called performance mushrooms and this has everything. It's USDA organic, it's got chaga, cordyceps, lion's mane, miataki. This stuff is amazing for energy balance, for cognition. Look, just being honest, see a lot of people taking care of their bodies. I do not see a lot of people taking care of their brain. This is the product, guys.

And so we got to talking and our values seemed very aligned. We're both into the functional mushrooms. And after a lot of back and forth, I am now a shareholder in the company. I have a small amount of ownership and I'm just really proud to be repping and be a part of the company that's making the best functional mushroom supplement on the planet. You can get this stuff at layeredsuperfoods.com. You can use the promo code SRS, that'll get you 20% off these performance mushrooms or anything in the store. They got a ton of good stuff. Once again, that's layeredsuperfoods.com. Use the promo code SRS, that gets you 20% off. You guys are gonna love this stuff. I guarantee it.

Thank you for listening to the Sean Ryan Show. If you haven't already, please take a minute, head over to iTunes and leave the Sean Ryan Show review. We read every review that comes through and we really appreciate the support. Thank you. Let's get back to the show. All right, John, we're back from the break here

and we're just kind of leaving rehab. We got some loose ends to tie up. Well, it's funny, because everybody, it's very, it's a very, anybody who knows anything about me, I remember post 2020, is it had a very emotional feeling on me. It brought up a lot for other people.

Everybody, there was nobody that was like, it was either like, this guy was very, very polarizing. This guy is unbelievable. Protect him at all costs. He's the voice that's speaking truth to power and is video free. This guy is unbelievable. And then there was the, this guy should never work again. This guy should never speak.

That doesn't allow, she should be off social media, doesn't. We got it, everybody had, or there was a very, everybody had an opinion on me. Very, there wasn't like a, anytime my name got, I was like, ah, this guy, or is that the guy that, or I love it, is everybody had a side of me. Yeah. Which was like, now I'm free of. I don't care anymore.

You're trying to manage your image, make sure to silence anybody that was speaking now. It's like, say whatever you want, post whatever you want. And then I'm gonna go and then I'm gonna, I'm gonna go ahead and get back to work. I'm just gonna go ahead and, and I'm gonna keep taking shots and less of my, that takes shots, but less of my, all the comedy is just,

you write what you think about all day. It's not like you are thinking about other things then you come into work and you got to research this. You think about what we talk about and what you talk about in your podcast all day. This is you. Yeah. So I write less about the Christian subculture now,

because I just don't know about it. I still talk about my Christian childhood and how my faith interacts with the world now, but there's a lot of insider baseball jokes that I don't really know anymore, because I just think it's kind of... And there we were talking on the break, maybe it's similar to you, maybe not. If I see a big pastor with a private plane flying all over the country has a prayer cloth that he's selling for $90 on the

Christian station and he's making all this money. I just think it's silly. I'm not mad at it anymore Is that you? You feel about the military as you're like it's just you I feel like conversations have had with you the your peace with the past. Yeah, you have opinions about it. And yeah, you could still get fired up about it, but it's just- It is what it is.

It is what it is. And you have a lot of friends in the military, I have a lot of friends in the faith circles, but it's just, and my relationship with Christ is closer than it was before. But if you, I mean, I remember going downtown on Broadway all the time and I would, like, if anyone wanted to take a photo and put my alcohol down or hide my alcohol or, and now I don't even drink anymore, but I do, I would have like a, I usually drink like a sugar-free red bull is what I like to drink.

And they put it in the same cup as they put on the mixed drinks in. And I like, it's like, dude, if you see me down here and having a good time with my buddies or my girlfriend or something like that, and you, and this photo turns up on the internet, I'll get. photo turns up on the internet. Oh, good. It's not a conflict with who I am claiming to be now. You know what I'm saying? Okay, that's not news, where it was news before. So it's like, I don't know. There's nothing scandalous about it.

There's nothing secret about it. It's just like, all right, yeah. So what you're kind of describing is you're not, man, it sounds weird, but I mean, it's the, would I be incorrect in saying it is the church that kind of brought you down at the beginning? I would say the, not the body of Christ like Jesus intended in the Old Testament, those people that were, you know, feeling the sick, helping the poor,

not those, that church, but the institution of the church. Yes. That's what I meant. The institution. Institution that's what I'm not the church. Yes. That's what I meant. Yeah institution. Yeah Not the body of believers, but yeah the the institution and that moral code or those brick and mortar Yeah, yeah, yeah buildings. Yeah, and the people that go in them Is what brought is what tried to cancel you and and well, it's interesting because they propped me up with my mainstream credentials. They propped me up. This guy has a Netflix special. This guy is going on the late night show.

This guy has a book deal and they try to cancel me with my Christian credentials. He says he's a Christian. He says it's good because these things you can't, you can't cancel me without the faith. There's nothing, there's nothing there. Yeah. But if you bring the faith part into it, but if you just have the faith and not the mainstream credentials, there's nothing to cancel. Because I don't know, this guy, there's no, it's no problem. But it became bigger. I mean, that's everybody. Once your podcast got on the map,

people started, hold on, hold on, who's this guy? They want you to be good, but not too good. Yeah. Where they go, nah, that's good too. This guy's getting too big. Yeah, which I guess what I'm getting at is, you know, you don't come in out of it now. You're at peace with it. You're not necessarily against The brick and mortar no, not at all you just I think I think I think the brick and mortar church

Might be one of the last Hopes for this country. Really? If the same thing that brought you down. Yeah, it's filled with greed and selfish people. But that, I mean, everybody needs a community in this country, everybody needs a community in this country. Everybody needs somewhere to belong. And there's one of those on every block.

The Catholic Church is the richest landowner in the world. The Catholic Church. Because look at every downtown, there's a huge Catholic Church there. All over the world, by the way. You go to New York City, there's like Sears Tower World Trade Center and there's I mean, you know how much that land is worth?

And there's nobody in there, by the way. Nobody. There's nobody in there. That's a different conversation for a different time. But I said, man, if every church... Let's have in there. That's a different conversation for a different time. But I said, man, if every church... Let's share that conversation. I don't hear any thoughts on that. I've not heard this before.

There's never... There's nobody in there. Go to any... There's nobody in there. Yeah. In those pews, nobody in there. So what's it there for? Well, there's a bunch of churches in Nashville that in like in 12 South, that's like a growing

neighborhood. And this is a, I went to one of those churches because I was going to all the different churches. It was like whatever the church is, two blocks from my house. There was four people in there. There was a pastor who was like a volunteer because he had another job. At first of all, the building's paid off, so they have no mortgage. They're all in disrepair, no reason to clean them up, but they don't owe anything. All you have to do is turn, that church, all you have to do is turn on the lights on Sunday and the air conditioning

for four hours. That's the only expense you have. You can raise the offering enough to pay for that, but there's nobody in there. That piece of land alone is worth $2 million. It has to be. I know that neighborhood. And you go get rid of this church and put up anything here. And but it's owned by the denomination.

So the Southern Baptist Church and the Presbyterian, PCUSA Presbyterian, like all their own, these denominations, the Southern Baptist Church has 280,000 churches to, I mean, maybe not that, but it's so, a lot. To drive from my house to your house, I'll text you when I get home. I'm gonna tell you how many churches I passed.

And it's, it's, And it's, it's, it's, if I, my theory was in this is if every church Googled their radius, so if you have a church here, you have a church here, you Google your radius, you're in charge of all these people, their mental health, their groceries, making sure their kids get to school, just the basic needs of their community. You're in charge of just draw the radius around your church and when there's another church, they go to that one. So whatever you live, whatever church is closest to you,

you can rely on them for groceries, for help, for a ride to work, for if every church committed to do that, it would solve it all. I really, really would because there's some people in those churches that are so kind and giving and loving. There's obviously some people that are just humans and knuckleheads, but... Well, I mean, you're right. I mean, there's literally a church on every corner in Tennessee. Every corner.

And so why isn't that happening? Well, they'd not know. Okay. So I, when I used to perform in churches, I would go so like I would get a booking request from Lexington, Kentucky, right? I would say my, my booking fee is $3,000. This is back in the day. And then another church, and they go, we can't afford it. Another church from Lexington,000. This is back in the day. And then another church, and they go, we can't afford it. Another church from Lexington, Kentucky, we want to book you. And I was like, $3,000.

We can't afford it. And then another, three would come in from the same city. This is just an example. And my agent who lived in LA, who goes, why don't we just combine all three of those? They all split it. And you can come to a comedy show in Lexington. I go, you don't understand, that would never happen. He goes, why not? I go, there are competitors with each other. I go, he goes, what do you mean they're competitors? I go, where's the show going to be? Whose venue is the show going to be?

So you're telling me the other, the competitor church is going to send all their constituents to another church that has a better sound system, cooler seating, better parking lot, coffee shop in the front, serve donuts before the service, better sound system. They're going to go in there for fun, a fun comedy night. Why would they ever do that? Why would they ever do that? Where is it going to be? They're not going to send their congregation to another church because look at me growing up. I never went into any of them. It's not like there's a bunch of fast food restaurants. You go try them all. It's just like which one you like best. And on Sunday, you can go choose all the ones you want because you're on the strip and you

can go wherever you want. Taco Bell, RVs, McDonald's, no. You go to yours and by nature of you going to yours, you disagree theologically and fundamentally with the other ones. And so there's no working together. There is the homelessness in the city or whatever issue that the city is facing, the church could solve all of it. The church could solve all of it, dude. I'm with you. One of my questions is why, you hear about all these mission trips, you know, and everybody goes all over the world to help all these people. But you never, I guess I can't say never and I haven't been around that many, but I don't

ever see anybody helping our own. In the neighborhood. Yeah. It's always overseas. Yeah. There's a... Why is that? Why do you think that is? There's a couple of verses in the Bible that go, therefore, into all the world and make

disciples of all people, which is like all the world in the Bible times wasn't all the world that it is now. We didn't know about, you know, we didn't know how big that would just go to everybody. Right. And the there's a I think there's a little bit of the white savior type complex. Oh, OK. They were gonna you're not gonna save a guy from your neighborhood. He's as lost in terms of godless as anybody, but you're not gonna save him, but you go to, we're rich compared to anybody else anywhere else. You go there and say, you have, I mean,

we've done it all over the world and Honduras and Peru, Morocco, Egypt, Kenya, I mean, I've been to all of them on missions with my church. And it cost, I make a joke about it in my show. I mean, it cost $4,000 to go over there for a week to build a bathhouse. We'd be like, there's guys over there that can build. They can build. Yeah. What do they want? What do they want?

15 teenagers for America to come over. They don't, they have to redo all this work as soon as we leave. If we did anything, but you can go back, you can go back in your, in on, you can take some photos of going over there and everybody wins. Similar to the military in a lot of ways where you come back to your church, the church has sent you, right? You raised all this money. You can take some photos of going over there and everybody wins. Similar to the military in a lot of ways where you come back to your church, the church has sent you, right? You raised all this money.

The church sent you over there. You come back and present at your church. Look at this photo. This is me digging a hole. Look at this photo. This is me. Look at it. We, look at it.

We did it. We, I remember one day we were in Honduras and we were so eager that we, you know, we bought all these clothes and gloves and sunscreen and had all these things ready to work, boots, bought everything, backpacks. Now you bought it to go out into the village or whatever. There was this pile of cinder blocks, right? A pile of 100 cinder blocks ready to make this They were making a shower an outdoor shower for the village or something like that and

they and the guys that were Ready to build it the locals weren't there yet. They didn't they didn't come that day. So it was raining or something and we We were so desperate to like work. It's whether we just moved the pile of cinder blocks, moved them all, we moved the whole thing. We need to get this pile of bricks right over there. Cause that's gonna be, yeah. And we literally, dude, we were sweating and moving on people taking photos and you're like, we're,

we didn't did nothing. Man. And it's, but,'s, but we felt good. That's an honest truth. It felt, we got home back to the bus. And that's what's kind of come in undone a little bit about the formal faith practice in a good way. They are like, hey, maybe we weren't.

What if some guy from Russia came over here to Nashville started telling you how to live and they go, dude, we don't need your help. We're good, bro. Then you look back on it. I look back on it, I don't, not mad at, it's some awesome, awesome memories, man. It's similar to your stories. It's like, oh, it was unbelievable.

It was a great time. Man, it was, it was kind of a little bit misguided, but a lot of the problem with the Christianity today is there's a lot of defecting like, they call them deconstructionists, right? So they're deconstructing the faith. They're leaving the faith, right? And it's a lot of just people. I worked at a church for 15 years and I got fired and I learned the underbelly and the truth over there and now I'm on TikTok and I'm going to tell you how Christianity is. I was like, dude, you're just like, this is not going to solve it for you. You worked at a place, you worked at an institution for 15 years or 10 years or five years or

if you involuntarily there and you thought it was different than what it was. And those people didn't turn out to, let's say you were down on your luck and nobody at the church called you or the church wronged you in some type of way, right? Or I make a joke about you didn't get accepted to be on the ministry team or you didn't get accepted to be on the worship team because you're not, you can't play guitar. Your voice sounds, you suck.

You're not good. And you like, they turned me down for the worship team. I'm leaving here. I'm like, dude, all these people are adults. And I was like, unfortunately, I think your stance on your past and it's like, dude, that's the way to take it. It was what it was. I'm at peace with it.

You're not, I don't see you want to crusade down through the downtown or screaming, you're just very practical and you're very realist and every decision that you've made in your life, you take ownership for it and you take respect. I don't see you pointing fingers at anybody. Or this, it was this guy's fault or it's this guy's fault. You're like, yeah, that's not going to get that. I don't for me to carry around any kind of unforgiveness or I still like it worked up about it every now and then, but so what might it happened? Yeah, it happened.

So you telling me I got a buddy that I'm trying to say this in a way that's diplomatic, was wronged by a friend, hates his guts, want anything to do with him. I think it was financial, right? Hates him, don't want anything to do with them and it's happened. They're not friends anymore. I go, okay, so you're You're plan for the rest of your life is to wake up in the morning and Strap on that anger and unforgiveness and that cannot be the way. And I think what you've uncovered in your discovery of Christ, I don't want to put words in your mouth, but this is the realization that I've come to.

So this guy said, first of all, don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't envy, don't lust, and hey, put others in front of yourself. Forgive others. Look out for the poor. Ask for forgiveness when you're the principles that this man lived by and instructed us to live by. That is the way. That's the way. That is the way and revenge is not the way. Anger is not the way. Like we've, we've, I shouldn't speak for you, but I've tried them all.

I've tried all the other ways. Like Jordan Peterson says a lot about that. He's like, even if you don't believe in that the principles of Christianity, this to have the happiest life or family or this is the way. And I haven't found any evidence, fortunately or unfortunately, that I've found even more evidence for that now,

currently after everything I've been through. Yeah, I'm with you. Well, what's the other way? You're gonna go, somebody wrongs you, you're gonna go kill them, you're gonna go talk bad about them behind their backs. Wish for the, do I wish, the people that said those things about me, do I wish for their death?

No. The people that have said bad things about you on the internet, do you want them to die? No. No, you don't. So do you want them to, what level of suffering do you want them to die? No. No, you don't. Do you want them to... What level of suffering do you want them to have? You know, do you... Do you...

Do you have various... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, sure, of course it does. Of course it does. But you're like, oh, dude, I mean, I thought about that, but when I was in rehab, I was so angry, dude. I was so angry. I remember telling them, I go, I wanted to kill them. I thought they, I wanted to literally kill them. And I would journal about it and I'm just, I don't wish for their destruction. I don't wish for their unhealth.

I don't wish for their, that goes for anybody. for their unhealth, I don't wish for their, that goes for anybody. It, yeah, it makes you happier just to leave them alone and forget about it. And, you know, I mean, there's so much that goes into it. You know, if you really, really want to piss these people off, then get more successful. Because nothing pisses them off more and ruins

their day than getting bigger and more successful. And nothing. And do never... On top of that, you're literally wasting your energy and your time. time and energy will never get back ever to torment or get revenge or whatever. Or even thinking about it. You're putting your life on hold to do something that's not going to bring you any goodness, any fruit, anything, nothing. I remember I was like my book, I had a book deal that was huge. I was going to tell this prior to my cancellation, my book got there was a person that was one person that kind of instrumental in that coming undone. And when my book, the book deal was still in place.

So we wrote a whole new book after then told this story, not to the in-depth that we're talking about now, but told all of these and it went on the Amazon bestseller list and in my unhealth, I go, I to send her a gift basket With the book in it side like has an eventful spiteful Very and I go I

Don't want to do that. Yeah, that girl has a family and has kids and it's going to get them from soccer or whatever. And that's so embarrassing. And I'm going to have all these years later, she probably just said those things out of cheaper hadn't thought about it since that day. And I'm like, use whatever motivation you need to for good and use it to motivate you. And if somebody beats you in the basketball game, like you can, if not liking them inspires you to practice better and wait train more to, in order to beat them the next year, great.

But what, what are you you gonna do? Yeah. Like tell them, even the people like I'm gonna, I was on the top, top 10 touring comedians in America last year, top 20. And so that article came out and I could like screenshot it and send it like. They'll see it. They know. Yeah. Or they don't, me doing that is a sign that they won all the rent that's living in my head rent free. And it's to let to... They'll see it.

They will see it. Just get on with your life. That's kind of what I was getting at is just concentrate on concentrate on yourself get more successful in The revenge is not gonna do with that. Yeah, but I do that Good and and I immediately desire it's gonna happen. Anyways, yeah anyways if you just improve your own life. And yeah, and it doesn't have anything to do with them and that's nor did it ever, nor did it ever have anything to do with it was you and me and me. and me and me and some of the decisions that I've made, those are my choices.

If you have a, if the guy that sold you this warehouse turns out to be a crook and he forged the papers and he never owned this and he backed you out of the deal and you lost me you're like well I the unfortunately the only way forward is like I Should have done better I picked the real estate agent. I choose I choose I chose to go into business of this person or there's just bad people That exists and I'm gonna learn from it, I'm gonna be better, but to wake up and you might not go into business with someone around here and you can learn from it, but you and I know these people that are just strapped it on every day. And you go, that cannot be the way, that cannot be the way, whether you're a Republican,

hate Democrats or Democrats, hate Republicans or whatever it is, or whatever group you're in, whatever the other group you're in, or the anger it to absolve yourself from it and forgive. to absolve yourself from it and forgive. That's the ultimate freedom. If there is, that's the, if there is another way, let me know. I haven't found it. I think the thing that took me the, maybe the longest to learn is that, you know,

forgiveness isn't always just for the person you're forgiving. It's for yourself. It really does set you free. Yeah, or forgiving yourself. There you go, hey. At the time, with the tools that I had and the information in front of me, that was the best decision that I knew how to make at the time or even a guy. I told a story before about it in rehab. They told us a story about a girl that was being molested all through her childhood and She was an alcoholic and they were like

She started drinking at like a young age and they go alcohol saved her life because it's too Heavy of a reality To deal with and the escape That was all that's the only card she knew how to play. That's the only thing she had to escape from the reality of her or her situation. So at the time. Not to compare our situations at all, but like I was very sad and a lot of shame and like going down those roads was.

The best card I knew how to play, at least in the short term, to handle that. And now I'm not there anymore in life, but I don't look back at that guy and shame him, or like what an idiot, or like what a loser, or like I can't believe he wasn't more of a Christian or whatever, whatever. I look back and I go, man, I wish I could talk to that guy, tell him that I love him,

tell him that I'm proud of him and tell him that he's a good man and tell him that this is what you're doing here and helping these people with the gift that God has given you. It's a tremendously honorable and noble thing. And if you slip up or there's tremendous hardships that come with it, and we just wanna let you know that we're with you and you're not alone and we love you.

And if you do screw up, we don't turn our backs on you, we don't cast you out. And that's what I would say to that, what I would call an inner child of mine back in the day, but I can say that to myself now. That's big, man. So I'm an adult. Yeah, we're not, you idiot, I can say that to myself now. That's big man. So I'm an adult.

Yeah, we're not, you idiot, you little loser. Somebody told me a story about I was in a, I was in a, was in Iowa maybe? I was in an airport holiday in. So this is like at the height of my, just being an idiot and being sad and like drinking a bunch.

And there was a girl that was at the show, that I just did a show at a church and I was sitting at the airport bar, holiday in, drinking and trying to text this girl to like maybe decide if we're gonna meet up or I don't know what we're gonna do. Kind of I had vision this is like the low and I remember like if somebody either with a therapist I think was a therapist if Jesus the man of Jesus. Walked by. And saw me in there.

My therapist is like what what would he say? And I go, well, did Jesus, I know that I learned about growing up would be like, I'm embarrassed of you. I can't believe you're drinking. It's such a bad influence. You represent my name. And you're telling everybody you're a Christian.

Look at you pursuing these addictions or terrible choices. Don't call yourself a Christian. I'm embarrassed of you. Don't call anybody. Don't tell anybody you're a Christian and be better. I don't, and he goes to the man of Jesus from, read the book, would sit down next to you And he goes to the man of Jesus from, read the book, would sit down next to you and he would go,

you are, looks like you're pretty sad. Yeah, man, I get that. I know sadness. Looks like you feel alone. I get that. I've been alone before. I don't, whatever you're about to do, whatever you're about to do tonight or are already doing,

I get it. When I'm mad at you, I have a better way for you that is probably going to be a little bit more difficult, but more rewarding. And then I got a better solution for you. If I see my, quote, children behaving in this certain way, I'm not, I'm bummed and I'm sad, but I get it. I understand. Jesus' best friend died. All of 12, 11 of his best friends left him. People think Jesus, you read about the man of Jesus, that he's a miracle worker and a famous guy. At the time that everyone needed him the most, all of his best friends left him. You don't think he understands loneliness? You don't think he understands pain? You don't think he understands anger?

You don't think he understands injustice? You look at him like a guy that can turn water into wine or a guy that hugged children or whatever. I was like, if he was 100% God and 100% man, he felt all of his emotions that you feel. You've been on, yeah. He goes, man, I'm really sad that I didn't get this opportunity. I got turned down for this TV show and I just want to drink until I pass out. He goes, yeah, that's sad.

That's sad that you got turned down for that. I would be sad too. Or man, these people said things about, yeah, I understand that. I would be bummed out too. And that, that's a different religion, whatever you're asking at the beginning, that's a different religion.

It's still the same name. But that's way entirely different than you better be in the church pew at 9 a.m. and you better come to the post services and you better have your shirt tucked in and you better say, please and thank you and memorize all the Bible verses or you're going to be punished. That is a different, I wouldn't even call it a religion.

It's your relationship. Yeah, that's, it's under the Christianity is what you call it, but that's, it's an entirely different relationship. Yeah. Yeah. Let's move in. Let's start moving into when you got back into comedy. You know, we had talked about your debut back on social media and all of the support that you got. Yeah. And how motivating and touching that was. The first video I ever put out, and this time I knew I was in a healthier place because

my publicist and agent manager at the time was like, hey, it's probably not, when I got home from rehab, they're like, it's probably not best for you to come back yet publicly, take some more time off. And then I go, well, can I make videos? Not, I didn't ask, I can do whatever I want. It was like, they go, yeah, knock yourself out. I go, all right, I can make stuff. I don't care if you publish it or not.

I just want to start making stuff that what I was put on this planet to do. And they're like, yeah, knock yourself out. And I remember I shot probably 10 videos or more and we were deciding on, I'm just going to come back. And, uh, I posted this video that is still the biggest video that I've ever posted. The first video I posted back was called Brands That Need To Be Canceled Immediately.

And I went through Walmart and I was like, Rebel ice cream, absolutely not. You support the Confederacy, get rid of that. Oreos separating the blacks and whites, get rid of that. Uncle Benz. And I like, I went through every, all everything at the grocery store

Granny Smith, that's a gist. Absolutely not. We're not with grannies is not something that's funny and I canceled Everything as a joke I went through Walmart canceled. It was like white rice brown rice brown rice Why do they have to be separated canceled?celed, right? Like just making it, cause cancel culture was so prevalent. So prevalent. And now it's a joke. Now, if you say something across the lines, we go, oh, you're canceled.

It's a joke because cancellation is now a joke because it went so far that everybody was like, you get fired from your job for like sexual harassment. That's probably a good, but it went now. Now you look at a woman and you're fired. Or you go, okay, this has gone too far. And what the comedian is best at is looking at the culture and go, mmm, and I made this list of my first video back and everybody was like, oh my, like this is a,

this is ballsy to come back with this. And it went through the roof and and to to an audience that never even knew of me. Because I wouldn never make a joke like that living in the Christian kind of subculture or bubble. And a lot of people listening to this are like, that was the first time I ever heard of you too. And that video went everywhere and bigger than the Christian subculture that I had ever been a part of. And it was, how'd you make that video?

And I go, well, I wasn't in this like, you weren't chained. Yes, you can say whatever you want now. Now you can say whatever you want. And I, in a lot of ways, I didn't know if I'd ever work again anyway. I go, well, now I can tell the truth, the whole truth. And I talk, you're similar in a lot of ways, but I went down to Monroe, Louisiana to be

on the guys from Duck Dynasty. You remember that show? Yeah. I went on their podcast like a month ago. Those guys are very outspoken with what they think and they're very Christian. I would say they're right-wing. Those guys, all they do is they hunt for ducks on their land. And also, they have a podcast, but they don't, they have tons of money. And they're not even on social media really, that some of the younger kids are, but they're

not on social media. And everybody's like, these guys are, I go, no, these are the guys to trust because they have no reason to lie to you. They live off the land. They like to hunt. They live off the land. They like to hunt. They have plenty of money. They have this podcast. They don't even check the stats if it's going good.

I mean, they might, but like, does that make sense? Like, no, this is the guy- Yeah, it's not their primary concern. They don't give a shit about fame. They don't care about- They don't care. So like, these guys are lying.

I was like, no, they're not lying because they have no interest in lying. Why would they? And everybody outside of money, fame is always like, you want this podcast to do well. So nobody's 100% out of the quote game or wanting to do well or whatever. But I go, no, these are the guys to trust. And if you got a guy that, this guy has an unbelievable podcast, and but he's like, he's on the payroll of this mega church.

And I go, okay, then if that's where the money has come from, then we can't trust it. We can't totally trust it. You know what I'm saying? So there's a lot of these people with like voices that Joe Rogan, you go, well, no, he doesn't. Yeah, he wants to be successful and he wants to be famous, sure, but he doesn't have any interest in lying to you.

He just wants the best, I don't know personally, but he just wants to hear the best conversation. And if you think this and you think this, let's get a compelling conversation and have it. And he has plenty of money. But, but you know, the government, you're like, Oh, they have sick, like with the ESPN that is like, Pfizer has commercials on ESPN. And you go, yeah, which that's fine. It's a democracy, but they have vested interest

in communicating that you should take this vaccine. Which is, by the way, I got no problem with anybody deciding whether with any on either way of that, but at least, no, they're not being honest. The information that they're selling you is what is best for them to get this sponsorship or where it's usually money or power, where in politics it's the same, where is it flowing from? And you go, oh, that makes sense.

So me coming out of cancellation and I thought burned it all to the ground. So I got nothing to defend. I got nothing to hold on to anyway. Yeah. I mean, makes sense. I didn't know, I didn't know I would ever come back to be doing standup ever again. So why not tell everybody how you really feel about, now you gotta do it in a funny way. I'm a comedian, but you gotta do it in a funny way.

And we, I mean, there's so many ideas that came out of. You had nothing left to protect. No, that's what I would say. You'd been broken down to the bare minimum. that came out of? You had nothing left to protect. That's what it would say. You'd been broken down to the bare minimum. They took everything. Louis C.K. said, all I have left is my birthday. That's what he said at his cancellation.

He goes, all I have left is my birthday. They will not stop until I'm begging for money in the streets. They want to take everything from you. They will not stop until they take everything. All I got left was my birthday. So then you can say the truth. And token everybody by the way. How long was it before you went back on stage?

I would probably say about a year. A year? So you got out, you started making videos. It took you a whole year. Maybe nine months, maybe. Okay, so close to. Yeah, maybe 10 months. It had to be at least 10.

A long time. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm not trying to trip you. Yeah, I'm trying to think of the timeline. It was November and I got out in March, April, May, June, July, something like that. I didn't come back till July. How many more videos did you make in that time period?

Oh, tons. Some of my best work has been ideas that I've had since then in that I wish I could go back in a way to clean my mind again. I mean, it was just so, I wish everybody could go to rehab for like a month. You just graduate from college and you just go until death. That's crazy. Everybody's got two weeks of vacation until death. That's crazy. Everybody's got two weeks of vacation. Until death. That's wild, dude. It is wild.

It is. It is. Yeah. I went back on, I remember I put a show on sale. Actually, I put a, it was at Zany's, a comedy club in Nashville. And my manager at the time, Andy, put the show on sale and he called me an hour later and said, the show's sold out. No, in an hour? Yeah. And I mean, I wish everybody could have that feeling. I wish everybody could. I wish, I mean, the feeling of like acceptance and like love I felt from that and still do

by the way every time I get now. That's crazy. I never really thought about that. I used to, the quote you read with the line, I felt so much shame from that. Oh, why are these people here? If they knew the truth about me, and now every person that comes to my show that shows up, I feel so loved and accepted

and honored that they would come to the shop. Man, what a gift dude. You know, do you think that's because you know for a fact now that people, they love you? Yeah. Like it's not like before, well that wasn't you. It was a dishonest transaction and that wasn't really me and they were love it, yeah.

And I thought a lot about if you go to a church, like if you are a member, let's say first Baptist, Lexington, Kentucky or something like that. Let's say you're a family you go there, you give, you tithe 10%, right? Tithe 10% of your income there. They announce, hey, in two weeks, we got this comedian coming in on Saturday night. You're gonna, this is a good outreach for the community. Invite your friends. We're gonna, this is a good outreach for the community. Invite your friends.

We're gonna pack this place out. You invest a significant amount of time and money at that institution. When they announced they're doing something, you won it by nature to do well. You don't care who's coming in here. If it's like we got an acapella group, we got a square dancing, you want it to be, you got season tickets for the Preds, you want them to do good, because you got a lot,

you got investment in there. And so when I was doing all these tours, I didn't even know if they liked me. They were just, the institution told them, hey, this guy's comment, now there's a lot of people, or might have been my fans since back then,

but like the transaction was so dishonest. And now it's like, dude, I'm coming to Lexington, 65 bucks, 55 bucks for a ticket. I don't know how much, I think 40 bucks for a ticket in that range. If you watch my videos, like them, I'm coming to your city. We'll make that exchange. I'll give you the best two-hour show you've ever been to.

We'll make that exchange and it's fair. You wanted McDouble, I got a dollar. We'll make that trade. Everybody wins. There's no... There's no, there's no, it's a fair trade. And that's been nice. And to see all those other people that you may have lost a handful of fans maybe, but

yeah, more, yeah. You know, it seems like the theme of the show is just be yourself, man. That's the most freeing thing. What? Yeah. And I wonder, because you, I feel like are there, I feel like we're not, well, not, can be 100% there, but we're, but what are situations? How did we get here?

You know, how did your, why are you not still in the military? Oh, I'm not really sure what you're getting at. Well, I'm saying, what if I was still on that road? Yeah. What if you were still on that road? I didn't, what if you were, what if you just decided to make a career out of it? But I'd be in a very different spot. You, I think you'd be in a very, and you wouldn't be, you would be, I don't know if you'd probably know

the things you know now, but if you did see these inconsistencies or whatever, you just, I'm just gonna. Yeah, well, you know the thing, so I just gotta fill the audience in a little bit, because that conversation that we had. I'm just gonna... Yeah. You know, the thing, so I just got to fill the audience in a little bit because that conversation that we had... Oh, you can cut it then if you want to. ...was, now it's all good. The conversation that we had was about military industrial conflicts and things that I can

see that... How do I describe this? Very short. Yeah, my bad. Corruption, let's just call it corruption. Things that you don't see. You don't see that kind of stuff when you're on the military because you're on a very specific mission.

You know what I mean? You don't have much peripheral into that. There's no time to dig. And it's not until afterwards you start seeing those kind of things but you know when it yeah, I mean the military was me at the time same same that was me it was the first yeah it was I don't I don't I wasn't going into those churches like I'm going to try to mislead these people and I'm going to try yeah I was I was that was me at the time

as well. Yeah. And so you said, what's interesting about this pie, cause just be yourself. There's a lot of people that I know that are not. Yeah. Right? It's even when I got out of the agency, one thing that I did, I told you I was teaching guns and tactics and shit like that, right?

I think that's one thing about me is I've always been very authentic. Even when you were in the military. Even when I was in the military. And I got out and I looked at, I did kind of a market analysis, right? On what everybody was doing. And the thing about that I noticed about social media is guys that had gotten out before me, that I knew really well, whether it was a SEAL, social media is guys that had gotten out before me,

that I knew really well, whether it was a seal, whether it was an agency operative or whatever, it wasn't them. Like I know them. Some of these guys I've spent 10 years with. And then you see them on social and it's like, that's not the dude that I spent the last 10 years with. Right.

This is a character. Yeah. You've created yourself a character to do the things that you think that people want you to do and do and act how they think they want you to act. This is not, I know I've been in the- Do you know what I'm saying? I've been to the bottom with you and this is not you. And that's a trap.

Yeah. And that's a prison. That's a chain. 100%. You know, because you build the character, it's not the real you. And then you're fucking trapped in that character. And it's impossible to get out.

They don't know what, yeah. And then you, I think there's a lot of people that have been so deep that they become the character. Yes. And they're like, I'll just be this. And so when I did, when I saw that, you know, I never, I was like, man, that's gotta be exhausting. Whether it's the funny guy, you know, making jokes all the time,

just obnoxious. I'm not talking about stand-up comedy. I'm talking about other things. And it's like, man, you're creating that and now people are going to expect that from you every time they see you. And that shit's gonna be exhausting or if it's the tough guy, you know what I mean?

And I'm too tough. And that's not you either. You know, like now you have to live in that image. You're going to think that you have to live in that image for the rest of your life. And that's gonna be. Because it's probably being publicly praised. And they're building these massive followings.

Yeah, people like it. So millions of followers. And it's like, you're fucking trapped now, man Because not you could everybody expects you to be that and that's not you and it's exhausting to be something You're not and so that that is what And it sounds like that's kind of what it you fell into not in the early days was It it it You're trying to please I'm not in the early days was, you were trying to please instead of being. Yeah, but you had gotten the,

I had gotten the rewards or whatever from it, just like somebody's getting a lot of followers or you're like, well, this feels good. And so this is like, well, this feels good. And so this is awesome. Yeah, like we've, on our podcast, we've had like, all right, I'm gonna start a podcast. Nepi, we're gonna talk about whatever and then we get, I was like, hey, we can never go down a road

that where we say something and that we're scared of someone dropping us. When the ad is dropping, because then we're going back into the old thing. I go, you say whatever you wanna say, and if somebody says, hey, this is beyond what we're comfortable with, that's fine.

There's lots of advertisers out there. We're not gonna get into the business of going, this is what I think about life or society or my community or the politics or, but I've already proven to yourself what can happen by just being you. Yeah. And you've been down that road before. And if somebody says, Hey, we don't approve of this content for the pocket, that's fine. It's not a measure of me, but I have to keep saying this because that is who I am.

And obviously you've got friends and family members and things like that, relationships that you want to stay loyal to. If you work at any big institution and you are sacrificing yourself to things that you don't believe in, I don't believe in showing up for work at eight. I'm not talking about that. I'm saying if they stand for something that you do not stand for and you're putting that aside to continue to work that you're in a prison, you're in prison. Yes. You are. Yup. Come 100% with you, man.

It's, I mean, they go, hey, they're making us. It's really hard to describe this. You don't get it until you do it. And that's what's sad, is you see so many people out there living their bullshit lie that they've created to please other people. And if you're listening to this and you're that person and probably a lot, I would bet the majority of the people listening to this are putting a facade out. That's not actually them.

You're living in a fucking prison. And when you stop that, and when you just be yourself, be true to yourself, stand by your values, put down the facade. I mean, it's, it's, it's, dude, it's just free. You're free. That's how I feel. And you went, you go, man, that's why I look back on it. I don't, I'm not.

I would be, I mean, imagine if I was still doing that. Still performing in those institutions, but secretly drinking a bunch and that seems to me so sad. On top of that, I mean, just, you know, the transgression of your story. I mean, you, you had put false limitations on yourself. Yeah. Yeah.

And when those limitations, yeah, when, when you got rid of them, look what happened. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I don't know how much bigger you've grown, but it sounds like you've quadrupled. Yeah. I got a buddy that his wife is, he works for a company and his wife is scared to death that he's going to get fired. Lives in perpetual fear of him getting fired, right?

So because they got, you know, a couple kids, they're in school, they have a house with the mortgage, very thin margins, I'd imagine. How was the staff meeting? Did they like your presentation? Did they, and I go, just Did they like your presentation? Did they, and I go, just pervades the conversation at all time. There's fear, this fear, fear. And I, after what I had gone through, I obviously didn't verbalize this, but I thought to myself, I go, I wish you got fired. Because you could realize it's not that scary.

Yeah. There's always another door. Or like, okay, what's the worst that can happen? He's going to go work at Home Depot for, you can make 50 grand a year there. You're going to make work at Home Depot. You can work at a gas station and make 80 grand. And then you're going to get back on your feet and that's going to maybe make a year there and then you're going to find a whole new life.

You're going to find a whole new life and that fear is now going to be gone because you're like, dude, what are you scared of now? What am I scared of now? I'm not scared of nothing. I'm not scared. Any my business manager or manager agent could call like whatever this is, is nothing compared to what I have experienced, which makes you strong. And living in this perpetual fear of losing health or the school or the whatever the things we set up out here. Or if your house gets robbed, I mean, obviously protect yourself, but I'm not.

What could come at me, even death? I'm not scared of anything. There's significant, significant challenges facing myself and you every day. Am I scared of anything? Because I already, my biggest, my biggest fear that I could ever, my greatest nightmare that I could ever possibly imagine happening to me happened. Publicly being humiliated on every news site in the country.

And here I am. 10 times bigger than you were before. Let's go, baby. Well, man, this has been a whole of a conversation. What a ride, man. I want to start to wrap it up, but how's the tour going? Real good. We just started. We got two sold out shows at the Ryman this weekend in Nashville. Nice. Oh, yeah.

Nice. No, we have three. We never have done that many. Three at the Ryman this weekend in Nashville. Nice. Oh yeah. Nice. No, we have three. We never have done that many. Three at the Ryman? Yeah, this weekend. You come down if you want to. I might sold out though.

I know a guy, I know a guy, I know a guy, you can find your seat. We'll take you up on that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. That ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 160 cities that we visited on this tour, which is unbelievable. Really, really, really unbelievable. And then we got a project that I can't talk about yet that's coming in the fall. Oh, right on. Oh, yeah.

Exciting. Oh, yeah, man, absolutely. Well, I can't wait to hear about it, man. Thank you, brother. It's an honor to come down. There's a lot of people that talk. I said I was coming on this podcast. Like I said, there's a lot of people that really, really love you.

They really listen to it and you really, really appreciate what you have to say. And I know I used to listen to the Bill Simmons as a sports writer. And I worked at this nine to five cubicle job and I couldn't wait for his, he did a Friday mail bag, like an article, and I couldn't wait for Friday at about 2 p.m. for that mail bag to come out. And I just consumed it.

There's a lot of people that make art or content. I'm sure you know this, that people say that they, how they interact with this podcast, but it's really Ralphie May, who's a comedian that died a few years back. And I remember talking about going on the road with them and he goes, keep doing the Lord's work, man. And there's a lot of, especially in this city, Nashville, everybody on Wednesday or Thursday night loads up the tour buses and goes out. A lot of months, mostly country music and entertainment loads up the tour bus and goes out into the country. And you all see them all coming back.

If you, on these interstates, you'll see them coming back on Sundays or Mondays, depending on if they are all coming back. They're driving either south or north back into the city. And it's, a lot of times I look at it like the, like it's wartime and these entertainers, your musicians are all loading up and going out into the country

and bringing people joy and happiness and entertainment and that we all come back and come back on Monday morning. And I think everybody with a podcast, I feel the same about that. You're putting out this content that people are, live in varying degrees of hardship and your content provides a respite from pain for a lot of people. Thank you, Ben. Absolutely.

That means a lot. It's true. I got one other thing that I would like to say because I did beat up the church a little bit. What I do want to say is, what's helped me is it is all about your relationship with Christ. It doesn't have anything to do with the church. Just keep that in mind. Yeah, whatever anyone said in there or maybe says on TV as a representative of Christ, people said and done all kinds of things in the name of Christ that have been wrong. A lot of human beings that have done all that. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a, yeah, saved my life, 100%. Well, brother, this episode's gonna bring a lot of hope because a lot of people are struggling, you know? And that's one of the beautiful things about this show is the people that come on here always open up the struggles and are an open book

so that people can get a glimpse into it and relate. I'll tell you man, a lot of lives have been saved by listening to this. So, yeah. Thank you. It was an honor to have you. Keep spreading that good word. You got it. All right.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. All right.

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