Shawn Ryan Show - Storytime - Inside the Navy SEALs Team Room

Episode Date: November 19, 2020

It's been a long time since we've done a good story time... Here it is! Shawn Ryan tells Travis Howze a story about a joke played on him in the Team Room when he was a young SEAL on his first platoon. Vigilance Elite/Shawn Ryan Links: Website - https://www.shawnryanshow.com Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/VigilanceElite TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@shawnryanshow Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/shawnryan762 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Plus, free shipping with the code Soldiginero10. Anyways, so do a quick warm up, then we'll get right into the show. So I did a ton of research on you and not just you. I listened to a lot of your podcasts, a lot of them were very similar. I don't really know much about being a firefighter, so I was also doing research on the life of a firefighter. I wanted to try to be able to relate being a firefighter to being in a SEAL team or at the agency. And one similarity that I thought was pretty funny was, I mean, you guys eat, sleep, shit, fuck, live together,

and eat together. And so when you guys are at the firehouse, it sounds like there's always a common meeting area where all the jackassery happens. And we have that too in the seal teams we call it the platoon hut and there's If I could be a fly if anybody could be a fly on the fucking wall For the didn't listen and on the conversations that happen in that room

You'd be a fucking instantaneous billionaire because you could write a book about it. It would go viral. My change from civilians, minds of their ideas of the people in his profession. Yeah, they might not think we're the stand up human beings, everybody thinks we are. That's right. But anyways, it sounds like you guys all meet in the kitchen or the dining area. And so is there any conversations that come up

that you can think of that are fucking hilarious? Yeah, over the years, man, there's tons of conversations. You're sitting there where you're breaking bread with your brothers and sisters over the table. And it's kind of like what happens in the house stays in the house. Yeah. It's like we're a bunch of children. We're a bunch of grown children waiting for that, for that bell to go off.

And when it does, you gotta run out of there with a plate full of spaghetti in your face. And I think that's where the difference would lie with the seal teams. Like when you guys go on an op, you're planning to go on that op. Yeah. You don't just jump out of your bed and fly to the op

immediately without having any planning or any knowledge of where it's going to be. That's the difference with the fire service. We'll be sitting around talking about inappropriate shit at the table, full of spaghetti and goddamn garlic bread. And before you know, you're on a fire scene trying to put your mask on, but you got a vomit before you do before you go in. Because it's like literally you have a full stomach and you run out and you're throwing up all over the place, it happens. But yeah, to answer your question, sorry I got long winded, to answer your question, all of the inappropriate shit happens right there

at the kitchen table man. It's all the good stuff, all the bad stuff, all the ball breaking, that's where it goes down. No one thing comes to mind other than a funny, then a funny emergency call that we, they went on years ago, and I talk about this extensively, and I'll probably talk about it during the episode of a conversation that took place. And it was, uh, it was about breaking a new guy in over, over experience in his first death on the job.

Um, and it was funny to all, all of the old guys old guys, but not the new guy. Well, let's hear it. Or I'll give you an example if you want to save that for the show. So we're sitting in Germany in the platoon hut. That's what we call it, the platoon hut. And there's always like a long table. You know, we're all the enlisted scum like me hang out and fucking talk about who we kick the shit out of, who we fought, who we how much ass we got, how much ass we didn't get, all that kind of shit. And you know, all the fights have everything happens in the platoon HUD.

And then, you know, the platoon chief and the O's and the leadership have their offices and they kind of, you know, leave the boys alone. But ever since I was a teenager, I've been like scared shitless of STDs. They scare the fuck out of me. Herpes, AIDS, syphilis, and anytime anything happened, even if there was no penetration, I would get fucking paranoid to think I'm gonna die. Just a hand job, you can get it in your hand job. Yeah, a hand job, think I'm gonna die. Oh my God, I got fucking herpes, and that probably means I have AIDS and blah, blah, blah. And so anyways, a minute platoon hut, we're in Germany.

And we have to get an HIV test, but once or twice a year, I think, for obvious reasons, we can't sleep at night waiting for the results. Yeah. And I'm like, fuck, I always get fucking stressed out when this happens. I go to medical, I'm getting my blood test

and I'm fucking sweat and bullets. And they're like, you know, what's, you okay? And I'm like, yeah, you know, I'm fine. I'm like a fucking dying beer. They're like, are you sexually active? But I'm like, who the fuck is it sexually? Of course I'm fucking sexually active. What the fuck?

I'm on deployment. It's fucking German. I'm a seal. Can we get the shit over with? Like, how long is it gonna take for the fucking results to get it? To get the board punched? We'll talk about that a lot of time.

But so they draw the blood, you know, and then, you know, that was what, probably around 2003, 2004. And, you know, the results didn't come back that quick. So, maybe a week. So I've got like a week of running around. I had like 100% convinced myself that I have the hiv and I'm gonna fucking die.

You're playing with your funeral. Yeah. So the fucking, the, our medic comes in because he's, you know, he, everybody has their duty like mine was ordinance. The medic comes in and Chad Wilkinson, who went on to dev group and unfortunately is not with us anymore. But Chad, like, he fucking, he always had it out for me.

He always, he was just always fucking with me. He beat my ass. We skipped the whole hazing thing. It just knocked the shit fucking with me. He beat my ass. We skipped the whole hazing thing. It just knocked the shit out of me. And so anyways, we're always going back and forth. Well, he comes up to me. I'm like, first thing in the morning. And the whole platoons are like 16 of us

sitting around this fucking table. And he like, no, just man, he's like, hey. He's like Sean. And he like nudged his man. He's like, hey, he's like Sean. Your HIV, his ex-camel. And I'm like, okay. Well, what the fuck are they? You know, and he fucking sets my medical record down on the table. And he has this piece of paper, you know, and so when you get your HIV test, it says HIV results.

And then there's a fucking long dotted line that goes to the other side of the page, and then it says, you know, positive. It's like this long buildup to the fucking results. So he's got this fucking paper over it. And as all I see are HIV results. And he runs the paper, like he's covering the results. So he runs the paper like real slow

across the fucking dotted line. Nobody in the platoon knows what's happening right now. And I fucking passed out. You fucking passed out. I straddle and fucking tits up. Just like that. I'm like, I couldn't handle the anticipation or the suspense and he's running

across this line and I'm like, fucking tits up. Fall out of my chair. Wake up and I was only out for like a second, I think, I fucking feign it, I guess, and nobody else knew what the hell's going on. And they're like, dude, are you all right, Chad, is laughing his fucking ass off?

And I'm like, what the fuck are they? What? I'm like, what, do I fucking hate? Is Jesus Christ, you know, and then, he's like, no, all the dudes you fucked are clean. You're good. So I'm not going to tell you the results. That's fine. No, I just can't catch it twice. Come on.

I'm yeah. But yeah, I'm negative. But, uh, yeah. So there's my, uh, platoon, hard story, you get anything? It's gonna be quite a shit show. Yeah. Um, no, I don't have an exciting eight story. You got anything? It's gonna be quite a shit show. Yeah. No, I don't have an exciting aid story.

I do have a funny story though. I don't have an exciting aid story. This one's just kind of quick into the point. I started dating this girl and she was a fitness model. And when I was a firefighter, and I was on ladder 5 in Charleston on the west side, and we'll talk about that. But in my firehouse, we had two companies. We had Engine 10 and Ladder 5.

And when I first got there, we had an old captain, this old dude, and he kept Geno. And he would kiss you on the mouth when you come in. He was just one of those dudes, and he would call you baby girl. He was like, hey, baby girl. And if you tried to fight it, he'd grab your head, and fucking, he's like, big cock, strong man. And he'd force a kiss on to you. You can't do that shit these days. And that's why I turn, I'm like, hey, baby girl. And if you tried to fight it, he'd grab your head and fucking, he's like, big cock strong man. And he'd force a kiss on to you.

You can't do that shit these days. And that's why I turn, I'm like, I ended up being that guy at the firehouse and I loved it. But Gino would grab your hand when you would sit down at the table. He'd hold your hand while you're trying to eat dinner and he had these big fucking bear paws.

And if you try to like pull away, just squeeze tighter and then he'd start stroking your hand with his thumb. Like you were his, you were his hero. He's like the to like pull away just squeeze tighter and then you start stroking your hand with a thumb like you were his you were his like the guy like no you could hit him in the head with a fucking fat. And he's not going to look at you like you've seen it on that. You just submit to genome. It's like hold my pocket. You know what I mean? Like prison thing. And I just remember one day I start dating this girl and we on ladder five we caught a call for a vehicle accident with entrapment. In Engine 10 they didn't have a call.

So we got it from dinner, Brook had just walked in to see me. We run out ladder five, we go in the call, we get 77, which means canceled. Yeah. Literally right when we got out of the firehouse. And I was nervous because Geno is quite a ladies man. And I was like, oh man, what is this poor girl getting into when I'm not there? And we turn around, we back our rig back in and I get off the truck in a hurry.

And I walk in and this girl is standing there and it's nice black dress. She was getting ready to go out for the night. I mean, she is, it's nice. And when I walk in, Gino has the biggest hand full of ass. I've ever seen. Like he was just squeezing and he looks back at me. He goes, A-bub, but this thing got a fat ass on it.

Like, and she's standing there. She'd never met him. And she's just standing there with this deer in the head like, what do I fucking do? And I'm like, God, I'm not even. That's how it is. And so that's the end of the story. That was it though. I mean, that's just how it is. I so that's the end of the story. That was it though.

I mean, that's just how it is. I mean, what the day of house? No, no. The firehouse is loving like that. And when firemen watch this, they'll get that. They're like, yeah, that stuff goes on and some other wild shit. Yeah.

You can't go into everything. Yeah, we can't go into everything. I can't put stays in the house. Yeah. Well, setting the house stays in the house. What happens in the house stays in the house. Yeah. Anyway, that's the warm up. Let's get on with the fucking show, man. Let's do it. Let's get real. It's time to get away in a new Hyundai vehicle during the Hyundai Getaway sales event at Woodhouse Hyundai.

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