Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 130. To whom it may concern
Episode Date: August 20, 2021This week Chris and Rosie record while the kids are in bed and it's a plonk cast. They chat Yorkshire puddings, analogies and there's a live show warm-up buzz in the air. Become a member at http...s://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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dot ca We went to do it today, ran out of time, as is our sort of... Whole life.
Yeah, yeah.
And then we thought, you know what, we'll do it when the kids are in bed.
Yeah.
So the kids are in bed.
There might not be as much off-mic sort of frantic shouting,
which I know you're all going to be devastated about.
It's going to be a little bit quiet, aren't we?
Yeah, it might be a bit more chill. It'll be like the jazz cast.
This is how I feel right now.
I feel sort of like
Well you've put
one of your
seven million lamps
in the corner
and the kind of
it's just sort of
it's shining at like
a dark wooden chair
so it's weird.
Have I created
an ambience
without even trying?
No, no.
It's a lamp on a chair.
It's um
no.
It's just a little bit
sort of
a little bit dull
but there we go.
It's exciting.
If you're listening to this doing your run, sorry.
Sorry and all that.
We're glugging red wine like it's gone out of fashion.
Eight o'clock at night and I'm getting tipsy frisky.
Eight o'clock, oh my gosh.
I want to have some whiskey.
But you have my whiskey.
But I don't because it burns me through.
Whiskey's horrible, isn't it?
Well, we're currently watching Outlander and they're knocking whiskey out like it's about to get taken off them. I can't talk about Outlander. You're obsessed now, isn't it? Well, we're currently watching Outlander and they're not in a whiskey bike. Like it's about to get taken off them.
I can't talk about Outlander.
You're obsessed now, aren't you?
I can't stop thinking about him.
I'm so sorry.
I know that I'm married to him.
I can't.
But I'm not thinking about him solely.
I'm thinking about them.
I can't stop thinking about them.
Yes.
So that's a bit less, you know.
Yeah.
If you've never watched Outlander before,
me mam and
and now me wife
are obsessed with the main
not even the main actor
the character
not Sam Heughan
the actor
the character
Jamie Fraser
I wouldn't fucking
kick him out of bed
let's not get daft here
and I'm a straight bloke
you know
I can appreciate
a fit
six foot odd
muscly ginger Scotsman
as much as the next person can
it's definitely.
They think I am
some kind of bastard.
I know what's going on.
Bastard.
Wee bastard.
He's a wee bastard.
Massive, massive apologies
in advance.
The podcast tour
kicks off soon.
Huge apologies in advance
to Edinburgh.
Mainly Edinburgh.
The two shows
that we're doing in Edinburgh
for the first shows.
For the amount of times
Rosie's going to try
and do your accent
and shout Sassanac
at you
if they don't all watch
I'll be
genuinely
check the fine print
on your contract
for the ticket
I genuinely did
get a little fine print
got a lawyer involved
if you say Sassanac
too much
they can't get the money back
I've sorted it
so we're fine
but please try
and rein yourself in
please try and rein yourself in
painful
oh my gosh
do you think Jamie
will be there
definitely not
1746 Jamie
he's my favourite
honestly if that
poor fucking man
ever meets you
or my mother
he's going to be
getting a restraining order
poor bloke
honestly
tell you what
he'll be getting a threesome
that's what he'll be getting
that is
the worst thing
that's one of the worst
how much of that
wine you had
I'm drunk you've had like a sip of that wine you had? I'm drunk.
You've had like a sip of wine you tosser.
I'm topping up. Listen right.
Guys it's episode.
I thought it was the monitor.
It's fine we're safe.
Put the baby monitor on the floor.
You live on a bloody knife edge. It's horrible isn't it?
Guys it's episode 130.
We hope you're all good and happy and enjoying yourself
wherever you are and however you're listening to this.
And without further ado it's time for this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor.
I can't believe you're still doing this bullshit.
Hey, hey, hey.
Stop it.
I've run out of here.
I'm not even going to say the pay the bills anymore.
It's a bit of fun and I enjoy it.
So go fuck yourself, right?
Wow.
This week's sponsor is... Sugar, No Salt Beans.
Ooh, hey,
made yourself some nice beans on toast?
Ooh, get a mouthful.
Oh, crap!
I think I've got COVID!
No, it's just
No Sugar, No Salt Beans.
Your taste's still there,
it's just not there in the beans.
No Sugar, No Salt Beans.
Sandra did the shopping, didn't she?
Waste of fucking time.
She did do the shopping.
Sandra did the shopping.
I'm sick of her doing it.
Why?
I'm sick of it.
Because she goes out to the shops and she gets on a high horse and she comes back with
certain amounts of like just oh look you seen these i've got you like i'm gonna be fucking
impressed well chris you seen these that i got you i got you like a packet of like dried lentils
and like root root veg stalks look at that you can have them with some dry chicken Sandra I asked for
I asked for oven chips
but look at these though
these have got
no nothing
greens
these have got nothing
in them
cheese
to help you poo
I literally asked for a pizza
like what the fuck's wrong with you
I know
she loves it
sick of it
meanwhile she's buying the beans
crunching her cornflakes
fucking cocoa pops
jellies
heroin
everything they want
unbelievable
unbelievable
that's why they love her.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Should we do the jingle?
Cheers and again.
Cheers and again.
Here's the jingle.
Boing.
Listen to that.
Who needs...
Oh, shit.
That was...
I mean...
Yeah, great.
Awful.
Poor people listen to this.
This is shoddy.
Shoddy.
Stop it.
Awful.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop. Why am I... Because there's going to be a jingle and you're ruining it. Sorry, here's a jingle. Stop it Toppins are bad Awful Toppins Stop Toppins Stop
Why am I
Because there's going to be a jingle
And you're ruining it
Sorry here's a jingle
God damn
Are you drunk
We had a fight about the jingle
Jingle
We couldn't settle on a jingle
Jingle
So this is the jingle
Jingle
We hope you like the jingle, jingle.
Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah.
Jingle!
Two hours later.
Hello, I'm well, I'm well.
Shalang, ma, no.
Me, ma, and you.
Stop that.
Stop that right now.
It's literally three seconds later.
I pressed stop. I exported the file and now I'm literally three seconds later i pressed stop i exported the
file and now i'm on the next one yeah i export the file i'm acting drunk well it was bad i export
the file after every little bit now guys because we've lost that many episodes recently that is
true but yes how are you rosie apart from being half cut no genuinely i'm i'm much better now
yeah because you didn't actually say the real, we ran out of time, yes.
But we sat down to do the podcast earlier and I couldn't do it
because we've been so busy.
Busy.
A busy little bees.
Oh, have you been a busy little bee?
Don't know what accent that is.
Don't email in.
It's not a specific accent.
It's not racist.
Don't email in.
No, not a specific one.
It was just a funny voice.
So today we have been extremely
busy which means that the children our children have been with our parents quite a lot yeah i
haven't seen them as much as i want to and it's a total different life because when i had robin i
was obviously a full-time mom and you know when i left him i was like happy to leave him i was just
like right get me out of here yeah but this time because we're so busy because covid has just ruined my life and jammed everything back in together which i'm
grateful for i'm buzzing everyone's back don't dare complain no no i'm not complaining i'm not
complaining it's just really busy and today they were at your mom and dad's and i missed them so
much that i couldn't do the podcast yeah i couldn't do it i felt like I felt like a half a person. And I just felt miserable.
I wasn't tired.
I was ready to do it.
I just didn't feel whole.
And then I came home.
I went to the supermarket with them.
And then I made a Sunday roast.
I pureed, raved some food to make me feel like a better mom.
Sunday roast on a Tuesday because of mom guilt.
Hey, I'm not complaining.
I had six Yorkshire puddings.
You really did.
I did. Now I'm in the York had six Yorkshire puddings you really did did
now I'm in the Yorkshire puddings
and then I made
some like puree foods
to make it feel less terrible
and then
and now I feel good
now I feel like
a whole person again
and it's just
well that's good
it's just
just
just to quickly go over
just to highlight
just to you know
I wasn't really going to mention this
but now that you mention it
I'm going to
I'm sort of
just to dissect
what you're saying there
so I totally get it I feel terrible for you so when you had Robin that you've mentioned it I'm going to just to dissect what you're saying there so I totally get it
I feel terrible for you
so when you had Robin
and you were just
a stay at home mam
and you were bored
and you saw him too much
and you felt like
you had no purpose
kind of yeah
now with Rafe
you don't see him enough
and you feel like
you're too busy
because you've got
too much of a purpose
great
is there anything wrong with that
see what I live with
I know
pick a side pick a side do you know what I live with pick a side
do you know what I'd like
goldilocks
too hot, too cold, too lumpy
too soft, too hot
crikey man
stop it, I'd like to fall somewhere nicely in the middle
that's what I want
listen I want a three day week, three day working week
until he's three
and then
I'll go full time
but I haven't had
a maternity leave
Christopher
oh my god
will you stop saying
you haven't
I'm going to get you
a fucking t-shirt
with I haven't had
a maternity leave on
my two best friends
who had babies
at the same time as me
are still off
okay
they're very much still off
great
and I'm jealous as fuck
you are
you're very jealous
of people on maternity leave
but then at the same time
at the same time I'm loving what we're doing.
Exactly.
I don't want to complain.
I just miss my beer.
Now listen, back to,
we touched on something very important there.
What did we touch on?
Just as we were talking about that,
as we were talking about your whole plan
and everything you've done,
we touched on something very important
that I feel like the country needs to get behind.
What?
I feel like we need to change this for the better.
What?
Pubs and restaurants
who only give you
one Yorkshire pudding
with your Sunday dinner
need to be shut down immediately.
Right, okay.
They need to be closed down.
I don't know how we'll do it.
We'll just march in.
We'll just storm the places.
Right?
Sick of it.
Absolutely sick of it.
They're not expensive
to make either
so I don't know why...
You ask for an extra
Yorkshire pudding
when you
order your sunday dinner and it is like you've asked the waitress for one of our kidneys but
can i just say you are horrible to have a sunday dinner with right just because you are you're like
can i have an extra yorkshire pudding can i have extra gravy can i have and you just ask for loads
of extra stuff and i just want to go can you just give him like a kid's portion. Like on the side. Yeah. Yeah.
Because you don't look like a big fat greedy pig.
Right.
But you are.
Yes.
It's weird, isn't it?
I'm very, yeah.
I eat a lot.
You do.
You eat so much.
Yeah.
But your metabolism is just shocking.
It's because I'm riddled with stress.
Riddled with stress and anxiety.
Stress and anxiety.
And it burns those calories, bitches.
I wish I was.
Oh, burns them off.
Honestly.
It's great, man.
Oh, living in this head.
Try five minutes in here.
It's like a fucking,
it's like the Great North Run,
constantly.
It's brilliant.
Well, I'm saying, is it?
I know this.
It's hard work.
We all know this.
We all know this by now.
The nervous energy.
But yeah, no,
stop it.
Please, stop.
Like, literally,
I'll pay.
I'll pay for the Yorkshire Puddin'.
I'm not bothered.
I just want an extra Yorkshire Puddin'. I think you do. I don't think they just give you it for now. Whoa, whoa, whoa, please. Stop, like, literally, I'll pay. I'll pay for the Yorkshire pudding. I'm not bothered. I just want an extra Yorkshire pudding.
I think you do.
I don't think they just give you it for an out.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Have I been paid extra
for these Yorkshire puddings?
Are you kidding me?
I was bullshitting there
saying I was happy to pay.
Are you kidding me?
Of course you are.
How much money have I been losing
hand over fist
getting extra Yorkshire puddings these days?
Well, how much do you think?
I'm saying a nice place,
probably an extra pound.
Fuck your Puddle.
I know.
And do you know what's shocking about that?
Five pence to make a Yorkshire pudding.
Do you know,
you don't know how to make a Yorkshire pudding do you
yes
alright tell us
flour
egg
oil
butter
no
yeast
no
baking soda
no
oil of all air
no
links
I don't know
oh do you want links
in your Yorkshire
I panicked
it was milk
oh it was milk
it's such an easy
milk's a given
you've got to assume
milk was there anyway
no milk is not a given
why milk's the base
alright then
that's the most
ridiculous thing
I've ever heard
I implied
I implied milk
what do you have
in your juice
juice
what else
nothing
milk
oh no
water's just a given you're getting undiluted juice then you moron and milk What do you have in your juice? Juice? What else? Nothing? Oh, no.
Water's just a given.
You're getting undiluted juice there, you moron.
And milk.
You picked a terrible analogy because water is a given.
If you ask for juice and someone just brings you an inch of a glass full with concentrated Robinson's, you go, what the fuck are you doing?
You've come the wrong side of the analogy like you always do.
Can I tell you, I don't know what analogies are.
I'm not very good at them.
That's good.
You.
Good job we're on one of the biggest spoken word mediums in the country.
You fucking charlatans.
Have I used as a beef that you do analogies all the time?
You do about 75 analogies a day.
My beef with you, Chris, is that you can explain things in form of a little story
and you're quite a good linguist.
Oh, great.
Great. What a beef that is. Oh, great. Great.
What a beef that is.
Infuriating.
Yeah.
That'll be one of the things.
You know,
when I'm talking to my friends
in years to come,
we're divorced
and we're slagging my husbands off.
I'll be like,
used to doing analogies
all the time.
Yeah.
And they're like,
shit.
And they'll go,
what's an analogy?
And you'll go,
I don't know,
I'm a scumbag.
And I'll be honest with you,
since the divorce is,
me IQ's dropped. I've just given up. Normally, I don't know, I'm a scumbag. And I'll be honest with you, since the divorce is, me IQ's dropped.
I've just given up.
Normally I don't make noises. I've got a little
boot of things with pictures
on and I just point at them so people know what I'm saying
because I'm fucking a moron.
Shut up, man.
Get a babadooba and brush your teeth.
I think I'm drunk as well.
Babadooba, babadooba, babadooba.
So very excitingly,
we did the warm-ups for the podcast tour.
We did.
We did a full week and a half in the office slash our living room
with the team,
going through it and planning stuff out
and making all the content and things.
Because people who are coming to see the show
and people who may,
if you listen to this,
and you might think about getting tickets
for the December shows,
it's not just us sitting on the stage doing the podcast like we do now.
There's bits and bobs. Extra.
It is that. It's got that in it
because otherwise it wouldn't be the podcast tour,
but it's got some extras.
I've really enjoyed that moment.
We've got the part with the flying carpet.
The camel that comes on at the end.
Stop, because people are stupid
and someone will sit there the whole fucking time.
Someone will half listen to this
while they're doing something
and they'll say it to their friend
there's a bit with a flying carpet
and they'll sit fucking waiting
for the whole show.
No,
they'll sit waiting for the whole show
with a flying carpet
and it won't happen.
Good.
Oh,
don't.
But it's not going to be on TripAdvisor,
so who gives a shit?
I probably will,
everything's on there.
I tell you,
TripAdvisor,
TripAdvisor,
that I hate TripAdvisor
because I check that
every time I stay somewhere
and I can't book anyway.
Because everyone hates everything.
I know, Chris, but you've still,
you've got to check it and you've got to read it.
Yeah.
But then people, and they go,
first of all, I didn't want to write this.
And you're like, well, you are.
There you are.
So I've got a gun to your head, I think.
Writing on TripAdvisor.
And it's always something.
They've always been annoyed about one thing
and it's just led on to everything else.
And I'm like, I don't think you'd be annoyed at that
if it wasn't for that one thing.
And they're always busy emailing someone
who hasn't replied from the hotel
trying to get the money back.
And I'm like, why are you taking this out on the towels?
You know what I mean?
So I can't book anywhere.
I know exactly.
I want to go to London with the kids and my mum
and I can't book anything
because
don't just don't
don't read the TripAdvisor reviews
it's pointless
you've got to read them though Chris
because what have you got there
in the hotel
I didn't want to read this
but here I am reading it
don't read it
I know because I'm going to get the hotel
and if it's a piece of shit
I'll go on TripAdvisor
and go it's only got four stars
why didn't I fucking read it
four stars
alright man
bloody Beyonce
I'm sorry but if you're staying at if you're staying at a two star or below four stars, why didn't I fucking read it? Four stars, alright man, bloody Beyonce.
I'm sorry,
but if you're staying at a two star
or below
TripAdvisor hotel,
then you won't
get looked at.
I always feel weird
when I see like a takeaway
or something
and they've got their
food hygiene rating
outside on the poster
and it's like a three
or a four
and you go,
why have you put that
on the door?
They've got to,
they've got to. Oh Jesus. That's like the worst. No, I think it's the law, I think it's on the door they've got to they've got to
oh Jesus
I think it's
that's like the worst
no I think it's the law
I think it's the law
they've got to have it
on the front of the door
and then when you go
oh no
yeah
I'm sorry
you might think
I'm being a snob
about a four
but something
I'm going to put
in my body
that's been cooked
by someone else
it has to be
I don't think
that's a snobby thing
I'm sorry
our house
our kitchen is clean
and we eat from there
why would we pay
to eat somewhere else that isn't as clean as our own house for hygiene at this kebab place
absolutely lovely tastes amazing tiny bit of human shit once it might not happen again four stars i'm
all right then i'm not going i'm absolutely fine i think sometimes because my friend used to own
like a cafe thing,
and sometimes you can lose a star for something really little,
like having nail varnish on.
Really?
Yeah, so maybe it's not as...
Oh, there he is.
He's coughing.
There he is.
Little COVID baby.
We're joking, he hasn't got COVID.
He's just got a cough that's lasted forever.
But we've had a check now.
Yeah, no, he's not COVID. No, he's not COVID.
He's got a virus.
They'll send people around.
Who will they send?
The people who come and take E.T. away in E.T.
Oh, yeah.
They put a big tube outside the house and take him away.
I could do with getting the place fumigated.
I wouldn't mind.
I would allow it.
Anyway, listen, we're talking about the live shows.
The live shows were amazing.
Live comedy's back.
Yeah.
I stood and looked through the curtain before the show
and burst into tears.
You did.
Then I gathered meself and I came into the dressing room
and I started trying to tell you a funny story
about how I cried at the side of stage
and I started crying again.
Yeah.
And it was amazing.
And the standing, I wasn't even going to say
about the standing ovation,
but it came out of my mouth there.
We've got a standing ovation.
We did get a standing ovation.
I said it and I don't care.
I don't care.
You know, I wrote it like five times on Twitter
then deleted it
because I couldn't write it
without sounding like a twat
what do you mean
I just never talk
about things like this
but we've got a stand ovation
at night for the warm up show
and I've never
I hardly get them
for stand up shows
never mind a warm up show
of a podcast show
so I was very excited
but I just kept it
I didn't put it out
it took us by surprise
it did
not gonna lie
there's a photo on Instagram
of us cuddling each other
and I'm shouting
yeah yeah
we're getting a
standing ovation
rosie
that was very cool
it's very very exciting
thank you everyone
who came
thank you who came
yes
thank you everyone
who's got tickets
and we can't wait
to bloody say yes
can't wait live
comedy's back
bitches
i'm currently
wondering what to
drink on stage
because i had wine
on the first show
and i did prefer that
and then i had gin
and tonic on the
next show and i did burp quite a lot so gin and tonic on the next show and I did
burp quite a lot so I think I'm going to have to
stick with the wine
so like you know there's a few things in the show to iron out
as you can hear
Jesus Christ
I'm going to workshop my ideas
next week
get a case in
do you know what's funny?
I have ignored emails about the tour
and I'm sat here wondering what to drink.
Priorities.
God, honestly.
But yeah, it's going to be awesome.
It's time for What's Your Beef?
What's Your Beef?
Beef, beef, beef.
Shit bag.
Oh, no, not going to get it.
No, no.
I don't know who that is.
I'm too good, I can't be arsed.
Right, okay.
Can't be arsed.
There we go.
She's having meetings about what to drink on stage,
but can't be arsed to bring you one of the beloved beef characters.
But you never know, they might be on the tour.
Now listen, ladies first or gentlemen first?
Do you know what?
You go first.
All right then. Why not? Okay go first. All right, then.
Why not?
Okay, okay.
Yeah, I was looking at you.
My beef.
No, no.
My beef.
I know exactly what my beef is.
I don't need to look at my computer.
I do have to see my beef.
Really?
I need to look down at the floor, don't I?
Why?
To my feet, don't I?
What do you mean?
To see what my beef is.
I'll tell you exactly what I mean.
The other night.
To the feet, Tan.
The other night.
Oh, get over yourself.
Listen to me.
Listen, you get over yourself.
Guys, guys, let me take you back
all the way back
to two nights ago
we're in
the bathroom
that just goes off our bedroom
both children are asleep
it's called an en suite Chris
didn't want to sound
didn't want to sound posh
hey listen
level up
level up
level up
I'm trying to
I've got the first en suite
we've ever had
is it
no
how dare you
there was an en suite
in the one storey glory you can't was an en suite In the one story glory
You can't have an en suite
In a bungalow
Because they're all
Just on the same level
And right next door
To each other
So I'm sorry
You can't call it
An en suite
It was a bathroom
Coming off the bedroom
And the only way
To access that bathroom
Was through the bedroom
So you take
That back
Okay
No actually
Okay fair enough
Fair enough
Honestly
There's not many things
Getting me really angry,
but anyone slagging off the one-story glory...
I mean, I still can't get over...
I still can't get over
a 27-year-old man buying a bungalow.
Listen, I bought a bungalow.
It was a brand-new bungalow.
It was great.
I'll never forget the look on Ed Sheeran's face
when he turned up and said,
is this really your house?
Right?
Listen.
Why do you live in a bungalow?
Not, he didn't say it in like a,
is this really your house?
Like impressed.
He was like.
This house.
Not that one next to it.
No.
This little one.
This little one story one
in the estate of all other one story ones.
I don't know how you did it.
I can't believe it.
Slagging it off,
but you were quick enough to come and move in,
weren't you?
Yeah, well,
I was living in a one-bedroom flat with me mum,
so, you know.
Beggars can't be choosers.
I'll move to the bungalow.
Beggars can't be choosers.
Now, listen.
So, a couple of nights ago, guys,
we were in the en suite, right?
Rosie's lathering fake tan on herself
like a blooming suckling pig getting basted, right?
Just buttering herself up
with a fucking stupid fake tan mitt on, right?
And I've got to do her back.
I love fake tan.
I've got to do her back
like fucking karate kids. That's horrible, by the way. Shout out to all the blokes out there who've got to do her back I love fake tan I've got to do her back like fucking karate kids
that's horrible by the way
shout out all the blokes out there
who've got to do the fake tan
you just get into bed
don't you lads
lads
you just get into bed
and she shouts
can you do me
can you do me back
I'm going out tomorrow
I've got that thing tomorrow
can you do me tan on me back
yes of course
no problem
and you can just climb into this back yes of course no problem and you
can just climb into this bed climb into these bed sheets and we'll look like we've had a fucking mud
fight so anyway i've got to put the oven glove on and put your fake tan on your back and then
you started you continue to do the fake tan and you said to me will you go and grab that mirror
for us from behind the bath now we've got like the bath sort of stands off the wall and there's
a mirror that rosie sort of put down the wall and there's a mirror that Rosie sort of
put down the back
there's no mirrors
you need a mirror
to see what you're doing
basically the house
we moved into guys
we've just
because we're lazy as fuck
we've just reused
the screws
and the fixings
that they had in
for their mirrors
but their mirrors
were clearly longer
than ours
so we've just
clearly longer
or they are
giants
so we've just
hung our mirrors onto their fixings and in most of our bath we've just clearly longer or they are giants yeah so we've just hung our mirrors onto their
fixings and in most of our bathroom like in well we've got we've got the toilet downstairs and got
two bathrooms upstairs you can in the mirror you can only see your forehead you can only see your
forehead you know me mom can't even see her forehead well i can see from me i can see from
my top lip up and i know you can just see your see nothing yeah so we need to sort that out i'm
too fucking busy anyway right so there's another there's a there's a auxiliary fake tan mirror down
the side of the bath so i pick this fake tan mirror up and i start walking across the ensuite
and fucking the clumsiest woman on the planet here drops i don't know how you did it it was
like a cartoon you know in a cartoon when they've got a thing in their hand they go
like one of them scenes yeah well i'm seeing
the cartoon where they're kind of everyone's like juggling the thing and everyone's trying to get it
like whatever the thing is do you know what i mean yeah and you like juggled it around your hand
and you went shit and you dropped a bottle of fake time in the air first you essentially threw
it in the air trying to catch it and it went up in the air and it plummeted down and it landed the entire thing landed corner side down on my the
toe next to my little toe on my left foot while i was carrying the mirror and it didn't it didn't
even make a noise you thought it hit the floor and make a noise i hit the phone blake it just
literally went bunk on me toe and then fell onto the floor the whole way if it hit my toe all right
it hurt so much it hurt so much well listen and listen both kids were in bed so i couldn't scream
and i was holding a fucking mirror so i just had to freeze in place and then you did that thing
where you just started asking us and talking it was when i hurt myself no i was saying sorry i
was actually apologizing chris i said sorry sorry sorry sorry and you went shut the fuck up shut
the fuck up shut the fuck up and i went well fuck you yeah yeah and then we had an argument so that
was fun but that that's what i'm not my beef isn't that you did it my beef is that afterwards you had zero sympathy
and you are just you know in the middle of the night i woke up and i said my toes really hurting
do you not understand right you don't understand how angry i was that i did that because of all
the people i'd had less jip off rave i could have dropped that on Rafe's little baby seven-month toe
and he would have moaned less than you do.
So in my head, all I thought was this is the worst person
that this tan could have hit off because all he's going to do now.
Well, you said it, you thought it was broke about seven times.
Yeah, that was it.
So I woke up in the middle of the night and the DV had touched it.
I was really annoyed at myself.
I went, I think my toe's broke.
You went, oh, for fuck's sake. Pathetic. And I'm like, it could be broke. Evidently, it wasn't broke. in the middle of the night and the DV had touched it I was really annoyed at myself I went I think I think my toes broke you went you went
oh for fuck's sake
pathetic
and I'm like
it could be broke
evidently it wasn't broke
it was just hurting a lot
it's not
it wasn't even that bad
if you think that's
but I do stuff like that
all the time
I do something like that
every
nearly every day
I hurt myself
in that capacity
you need to be more careful
because I got caught
in the fire alarm that time
it was awful
yeah
anyway how was your toe today it's bruised it's purple right but it's alright is it actually You need to be more careful. Because I got caught in the fire alarm that time. It was awful. Yeah.
Anyway.
How was your tour today?
It's bruised.
It's purple.
Right.
But it's alright.
Is it actually?
I'll get there.
Yeah.
Yeah, look.
Let me see.
Yeah.
There's nothing.
There is nothing. You are fucking full of it.
There's nothing there.
There's nothing there.
I was going to say I'd put a photo on, but I don't want to put a photo on me.
No, don't put a photo on you.
People will get upset.
People will vomit.
My beef with you is you have started eating apples
like a pirate
and you don't like it
have I mentioned this before
no
because you only
you only do it
every so often
you started using
a really sharp knife
eating it like the burglar from dennis and i don't like it
you're gonna cut yourself
someone's gonna get hurt so you need to stop
i'm only gonna cut myself if you're the one eating it like that and you drop the knife
on me too right it's horrible to watch're the one eating it like that and you drop the knife on me too. Right. It's horrible to watch.
It's something really creepy and porny about it,
and I don't like it.
So you just get the apple and you cut it from the bottom.
What film is it that they do it?
Is it Dennis?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
With a baddie?
Yeah.
And you eat it off the knife?
Oh, don't do it.
You eat it off the knife, yeah.
Honestly, I didn't realise I was that upset
because I didn't know the idea how a producer was upset because I didn't the idea our producer was here
and it was me
and he did
when people were here
that was even more embarrassing
oh well what's
what's what's
do I go lock myself
in the toilet
and eat a fucking apple
Christopher
get a chopping board
chop it up
and put it on a plate
I just feel powerful
sitting with a knife
I'm joking
no it's such a
chauvinist pig move
what
no
I just
I don't like
eating an apple without I like to cut it up but sometimes I save a plate. I just, I don't like eating an apple
without,
I like to cut it up
but sometimes I save a plate
and I just cut it up
and eat it while I'm cutting it up.
Well,
it was horrible to watch.
Anyway,
I know you were trying to be sexy.
I was not trying to be sexy.
That is offensive.
I wasn't trying to be sexy at all.
That's terrible.
Were you trying to be hard?
I wouldn't know how to be sexy.
No.
Were you trying to be like,
tough,
tough guy?
No,
I just wanted to eat an apple
and I just wanted to chop it up
I'm really
I'm really sorry
it offended you so much
it's just awful
and I couldn't say anything
at the time
because I wanted to save it
for this
so I had to
I had to witness it
that is the bane of our life
something
I know
something happens
and I think
I've got to pull her up for that
and I think
oh fuck
I've got to keep her for the party
I've got to wait a week
best as on one
why do you think
these beefs are so aggressive
they've been like lingering on work because we don't discuss anything i've been thinking about
that all week
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This Friday.
You must be very careful, Margaret.
It's a girl.
Witness the birth. My intentions are down. Evil things. Of evil. CA. This is the matter of the devil. Movie of the year. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Who said that?
The First Omen.
In theaters Friday.
Gets it gets now.
It's time for questions from the public.
Questions from the public.
Guys, as always, if you want to get in touch,
it's shaggedmardinoid at gmail.com.
Hi, Chris and Rosie. I have been with my boyfriend for around
four years before me
he was in a relationship with a girl for
around three years who he split up with
around a year before we got together
Jesus right so three year in a relationship
year off four years in this one
yeah at the time of their
break up she wrote a lot of stuff about him
his mum and his sister
on Facebook
she was very bitter
and called his mum
a fat slag
gee whiz
etc
that's not very nice
so safe to say
the family don't keep
in contact with her
yeah
when you call someone's mum
a fat slag on Facebook
you get kicked off
the Christmas card list
that's the rules
it's not great
well you would think
yeah
okay
they weren't married and had no kids or house,
so it was very easy to make a clean break.
Got you.
That's what you want, innit?
Clean break.
You want...
Plaster off.
Yeah, no marriage, no kids, no house, no dog.
Dogs are the new one.
Okay, yeah.
Just stay together for the dog.
Fuck that.
Right, okay.
Anyway, when I first started going to his house,
I noticed there were still some pictures of him and her
at special
occasions up in their living room family wedding a holiday etc okay then about a year into the
relationship his mum asked me to pop into her bedroom to get her kindle from the side of the bed
i had never been in her room before in brackets and i noticed on the wall was a big canvas of the
full family from a few years previously,
including his sister's boyfriend, now husband, and my boyfriend's ex.
A full canvas?
Full, fully blown canvas.
You don't get the three-year girlfriends and boyfriends in the family canvas.
That's a bit much.
Do you think?
Well, it's now the sister's husband. Well, that one
was fine, so there's a 50-50 chance it's going to go shit.
Yeah, but you can't be keeping it. Anyway, okay.
I felt a bit funny about it, and in my head
I was like, why is that still up?
But I didn't say anything. But then again,
you can't take the full family canvas down just because the
boyfriend, the son's got a new girlfriend, can you?
Can you not, like... I don't know.
I would. I mean, personally,
I wouldn't have a canvas of my entire family
hanging up my bedroom
with boyfriend
it's weird
it is a bit weird
put it in the hallway
put it in the living room
put it
I was going to say kitchen
but that's even weirder
so do you think it's weird
I was thinking about
putting pictures of the kids
in our bedroom
is it weird
they're our kids
that's fine
now
these are our mum's kids
yeah but this is adults
she's got a full picture
of a canvas of adults
loads of adults in her room
but still your kids though
it's weird
and then when they get partners they'll be you of adults loads of kids though it's weird and then
when they get partners they'll be you know oh i don't know okay it's time to chris we're not at
that point yet you can't judge we're not there yet we might want to canvas this shit out of our
environment so okay so it's now four years on and these pictures are still up in the house okay four
years on chris they're still up including the one of them as a couple just the two of them at a wedding in
the living room them two as a couple okay that's weird yes that's weird yes right horrible can you
imagine so also the living room has been redecorated in between and these have been re-put up
wow his granddad recently moved into a care home well just before, and we hadn't been able to visit him because of restrictions.
Imagine my horror when we went to see him a couple of weeks ago
and walked into his room and on the wall is an A3 picture
of my boyfriend, his grandad and his ex.
Oh, you can't let him, you can't make the grandad get rid of that.
It is from a holiday they went on for his dad's 50th
and they were in front of the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
So I get it is a special occasion
and maybe a nice memory for his grandad,
but honestly, my heart sank.
Oh, what, fuck you.
No, I'm not.
No, I'm sorry, this poor girl.
Don't be dictating what the grandad has up in his cage.
Chris, I know, but at the end of the day,
this poor lass is just walking round everybody's house
without looking at a picture of her and her boyfriend.
All right, okay.
Well, maybe she should try harder.
Maybe she's not making the impact she thinks she is.
Wonder who his ex-girlfriend was.
Little Cindy Crawford.
She just looks nicer than you, Steph.
I'm sorry, babes.
She's the nicer I look at.
The dog doesn't
it doesn't set the dog off
she took the
she took the grandad to Australia
what have you done
what
oh
oh
I'm being deliberately awful
I'm being deliberately awful
I'm sorry
okay so
what does it say next right
I feel I have to add
there is not
one photo of me
anyway
in his mum's house
in his grandad's etc
but these all remain
when me and my
boyfriend have
been on holidays
or at events
I have started
going to boots
and printing off
photos and giving
them to his mum
on purpose
saying I thought
you might like this
bless her heart
that's so desperate
I feel so sorry
for her
look and I
framed it
and here's a
nail
and here's a
hammer
oh what you've
got oh you've
got plasterboard
don't worry
here's a roll
plug and a
screw here's me Makita I've just charged it why have I got all this with us just coincidence Oh what you've got Oh you've got plasterboard Don't worry Here's a roll plug And a screw
Here's me Makita
I've just charged it
Why have I got all this with us
Just coincidence
Bless her heart
It says that the mam
She always gushes over them
But they never appear
In a frame or on a wall
We have been to about
Six weddings
Five holidays
Numerous occasions
For photos
And I always give her a copy
The whole family apparently
cannot stand this girl and apart from the photo scenario have all been so welcoming and friendly
and i love them to pieces his nieces call me aunt and we all go for weekends away day trips and
spend a lot of time together as they are a close family me and my boyfriend bought a house together
a year and a half ago and i almost expected him to bring one of the bloody photos for his bedside table when we moved in um said am i being a psycho is it really weird that these
photos just remain and none of them acknowledge it i and it's i haven't said anything to her as
i don't want to offend his mom but i cannot stop thinking about it do they look similar
is a question i've got right do they look similar and a question I've got. Right. Do they look similar? And are people just not realising?
How similar you got to look?
I don't know.
Really?
I don't know.
All I can think is they either look similar
or he looks so good in those photos
that they're like, look, we can't.
Or they look good in the photo.
Maybe.
But the grandad, I'm sorry,
I'm not on board with getting the grandad to move here.
He's in front of Sydney Harbour Bridge.
It doesn't matter if the boy...
He might not realise that it's a different girlfriend.
But if the son's not going out there anymore,
it doesn't matter to the Grandad.
That was just a nice time he had with those two people.
Do you know what I mean?
Okay.
There's only one answer.
What's that?
Photoshop.
Right.
She needs to covertly take these photos one by one.
Don't get us wrong, the Grandad won A3.
Going to be a bit difficult.
But she needs to take them one by one,
Photoshop her face over the other person's face
and bring them back.
Just leave it.
Yeah.
And are you acting like a psycho?
If you do that, yes.
But God damn it, I'd respect you.
Oh God, I'd respect her so much.
There's a bit at the end here,
which I find a bit sad and I can get it.
It said,
about two years ago,
I did mention my
boyfriend about them casually and he looked at me as if I was weird for asking I'm currently
pregnant and I keep thinking when my child learns to talk they will ask who is this lady in all the
pictures with daddy is she my real mummy why right no okay I didn't realize she's pregnant all right
yeah you gotta get rid of the photos yeah you gotta get rid of the photos imagine that they've
got to go mummy who's that listen I've lived with you twice pregnant.
She will get to a certain level of pregnancy
and she'll just fucking see it.
She's going to flip into it.
She'll just see it.
She'll not give a fuck.
Or she'll rip them off the wall
and bash them off the man's head.
You disrespect me every day!
She could just take the pictures out of the frames
and eat them,
sit there chewing them
and go,
Oh, sorry, it's me craving,
pregnancy craving.
I crave photos of bitches I don't like.
Bitches be tripping.
Dear Chris and Rosie, I've just listened to today's episode
and after hearing the story of the lady whose dad fixed her laptop
and organised her mortifying photos, remember?
Yeah.
I knew I needed to email you a similar story.
Okay.
Please, please, please keep me anonymous.'ll understand why okay of course it was around 2007 i was about 14 and my
dad had a load of old music of his stored on a hard drive which he said i could put on my ipod
he hadn't told me which folder had the music in it and because my dad is a maniac none of the
folders had actual proper labels on, just random numbers.
So I had to click through every folder to try and figure out where the music I wanted was.
And there it was.
The folder I innocently clicked on.
Oh, what?
Suddenly opened to reveal photos of my mum and dad having sex.
Awful.
Oh, yeah.
mum and dad having sex.
Oh, yeah.
I immediately removed the hard drive,
put it back in my dad's study and genuinely cried with shock and horror
at what I had witnessed.
I didn't go back for the music.
I didn't think it was worth it.
I mean, that would have to be so...
That would have to be like Bob Marley's last concert live footage
or something for me to go back.
There's no fucking time.
I didn't think it was worth it
never go back so how old is she 14 and was it recent pictures it's hard we're talking hard
drive here so we're talking i just don't know in what part of your marriage you go
should we start taking pictures of work yeah isn't that a new thing isn't that like a new
relationship well if it's like if the daughter's 14
even if it's now
if they got together
yeah it's possible
that the hard drives
and things
weren't a thing
so yeah
put them on a hard drive
it's a new thing
oh
what are you saving them for
I mean organise your folders
dude is the main thing
I'm doing
but why
I don't understand
why
why we would
would we
right we're married right
listen
listen we're married would you take Listen, listen, we're married.
Would you take photos and just keep them on a hard drive?
When are you going to look at them?
I never take photos of you during the day clothed doing stuff anyway.
You always tell me I'm for this.
No, I'm talking about sexy pictures though.
Yeah, I'm not going to start doing that.
Why?
Now, I mean, now I'm offended.
Now you're offended.
Rosie, I can't, Chris, take a photo of me and Rafe.
Chris, take a photo of this.
Photo.
There you go, Rosie.
Oh, I look terrible in that
can you fucking imagine
I've got to delete
and redo them 45 times
when you've got clothes on
and you're standing
fucking miles away
imagine you're bent
ow I take a photo
oh don't
oh no look at me
balloon that looks weird
in that one
retake it
oh turn the flash off man
I've got like
slime on me
in her thigh
ew
honestly it would be
that is so unnecessary
it would be a nightmare
right fair enough it would be a nightmare.
Right, fair enough.
It would be a nightmare.
Well, obviously, you know, this couple are very confident.
Listen, the scene meal's not finished.
Oh, shit.
Right, okay.
To this day, I have never told them what I saw and it still sends shivers down my spine when I think about it.
Another similar story, when my teenage stepson got his first phone,
his mum linked it up to her Apple account,
not realising
that it would mean all of her photos would be copied over onto his phone. Let's just
say he saw a lot more of his mum and stepdad than he ever wanted to see. Why is everyone
taking pictures all of a sudden? He also couldn't find the words to say what had happened and
just handed me the phone. So I saw my husband's ex in her full glory
and haven't been able to look her in the eyes since.
This was well over a year ago.
It's still very uncomfortable.
Wow.
I could obviously empathise
having been in the exact same position as him
when I was a teenager.
So as a word of warning,
if linking your Apple accounts
to your children's phone slash iPads,
make sure photosync is off.
It makes for a very awkward situation
for both parent and child. That is very good
advice. Some bloody good advice that we've just got given
there.
Thank you. We're not at the teenage years yet
but we need to remember that. Absolutely
shocking that that is a bit of advice someone
has given out these days and that we have just applauded
it. Like, what is the world? Yeah, but, well, I'm sorry
but if people are going to go around taking pictures
of sex, you need to be warned
about that. Taking pictures of sex.
But you phrased it like photos of Bigfoot.
Like, you know, I'm going to go and get these photos developed.
I've got a photo of some sex.
Some sex.
A spot of sex in the bushes.
It's just like when photos were new and you might have done it.
Do you know what I mean?
Do you mean digital cameras and stuff
when you
digital cameras
not when photos
when you
no I mean like
digital cameras
and then like
when phones were about
and you're like
what there's a camera
on my phone
right let's get your
dick out
do you know what I mean
but
it was ever
listen I may or may
not have said that
there's a camera
on my phone
get your dick out
and that's why
we were kicked out
of the car phone
warehouse
but it was exciting and new now no phone get your dick out. And that's why we were kicked out of the car phone warehouse.
But it was exciting and new.
Now, I just, no.
I don't get it.
I'm so boring.
Honestly.
Honestly, I'm alright for documenting. I don't take photos on holiday.
I'm just too busy enjoying it.
I'm not going to take photos while I'm having sex.
Cranky. Too busy enjoying it.
Holiday is a week long.
Sex is about 30 seconds.
Who are you having sex with?
Myself, twice.
Hi, Rosie and Chris.
Just thought I would share my most embarrassing moment on a national podcast.
Yeah.
Thank you.
A few years ago, I went for a spa day with my sister
It was a lovely little spa
It had lots of creams, potions and lotions
To try on in the section near the hot tub
Always up for a nice pamper
Using free products
I headed over to the section in front of a hot tub
Full of a hen do
Free lotions and potions
On the station there was a cup of make up remover
Blue liquid
And then lots of bottles and tubes of posh expensive creams.
I grabbed a couple of cotton pads and used the blue liquid to remove all of my impurities before heading for the eye cream.
One of the spa employees started to give me the eye, so I thought it was because I was using too much product.
After a couple of minutes, she approached me and removed the cup of blue liquid,
which to my horror and to the
hen do's delight was actually
a melted blue slush puppy
that one of them had left on the
side.
Can you imagine
oh i love that so much isn't that i love silly ones like that that is so they were sitting and
they'd had a melted blue there's a melted blue slush puppy and she woke up and dipped a fucking
cotton pad and started washing her face essentially washing her face with a blue slush puppy.
She said I thought it was a bit sticky.
Oh, that is just delicious.
God love her.
Oh, bless her heart.
I love that.
But do you know what I would have loved more?
What?
If I'd have been in that hen party
and you knew that was your slush puppy.
Right.
You'd be like, oh, babes.
It's not.
I'm a bit annoyed they said nothing, like.
I know I would have to say something. I would have to say something. I'd have to go, that's not. I'm a bit annoyed they said nothing, like. I know, I would have to say something.
I would have to say something.
I'd have to go, that's not what you think it is.
And that's absolutely fine.
Don't feel embarrassed.
But that's me slush of earlier.
God, love it.
They had intense anti-aging cream in small balloons with knots tied in.
I had to bite a hole in the balloon to get the cream out.
It's a used condom, love.
Oh, Chris.
It's a used condom.
I didn't know what you were talking about then.
Mangy.
He's gone through the bins.
He's gone through the bins to get a make-up off.
Okay, now.
Here you poor bin.
Dear Rosie and Chris,
Below is a sign put on the communal door of the flat that I live in
that was put up last year.
Now, they've sent a photo of what the sign was, okay?
Okay.
This is the sign.
I've got to read the sign and then go back to the email.
There's a lot of admin going on here.
Right.
To whom it may concern,
the council have asked us to write...
To read whom?
What did I say?
Home.
To whom? I've had a bit of wine
to whom
to whom
to whom it may concern
are you doing the best
you said to whom it may concern
listen
is it W H O M
yeah
so it's to whom it may concern
see I've never
I've never read
to whom it may concern
I've never read the word whom written down
I've only heard it
have you not?
So I didn't know that that's how it spells.
Oh, sorry.
Wordsmith.
Wordsmith Ramses never read the word whom out loud.
Okay.
Fake piece of shit.
Okay, okay.
I've tasted my own medicine.
Oh, make me a concert.
Here are you.
Here are you.
Here is my home. Here is my home.
Welcome to my home.
Wipe your shoes before you come in.
All right, man.
All right.
Okay, very good.
Very good.
Let's all have a laugh at me, right?
I'm going home to bed.
Home, sweet home.
Listen.
To whom it may concern.
This is what the letter says.
To whom it may concern.
The council have asked us to write this letter before they investigate.
You may not be fully aware how sound travels between these properties.
Whilst we are not fully aware who may be causing the noise,
we are able to hear your, scare quotes, love making quite clearly.
We don't wish to cause you embarrassment, especially if it isn't you,
but it does often wake us up in the night
and we are unable to get back to sleep.
We also find the language offensive.
Why is that funny?
Is the language during the lovemaking or is it
so listen you how dare you sway whilst having sex okay
language offensive the police have been informed of the foul and abusive language
what we hope that you can understand our position and if you could please attempt to be a little bit quieter
it would be greatly appreciated.
We reserve the right to initiate civil proceedings.
Thank you in advance.
Now the most incredible thing about this letter is
to whom it may concern
you might be fully aware
we don't wish to cause
and then the we hope you can understand
and then thank you in advance
are all in blue
in kind of like a comic sans. Right. And then the council have asked can understand and then thank you in advance are all in blue in kind of like a
comic sans right and then the council have asked us to write this letter before they investigate
the police have been informed of the foul and bruised language and we reserve the right to
initiate civil proceedings are in times new roman and black and they've been added in at different
points so someone wrote this then handed it to someone who knows law who they know and they added
them in and they haven't put all the fonts the same beautiful it's almost like the teacher's markings over the top it's very good so was that
the person who sent that in was that on their door well listen yeah so it was on it was on the
communal door of the flats right so she's written here how embarrassing myself and my boyfriend
laughed so much when this was put up my boyfriend even even wrote underneath the lovemaking was good get over
it. The next day it was removed. I mean Jesus can loud lovemaking land me in court? Is it really
much of an issue? I was on our balcony one Monday evening recently watering my plants when the door
opens from a man upstairs asking me to keep my noise down whilst having sex. I was absolutely
mortified and basically called him rude. How dare he? I'm quite a prude when talking about sex. I was absolutely mortified and basically called him rude. How dare he?
I'm quite a prude when talking about sex. I go all
red. I'm so confused.
Who's having sex? She was
having sex. Yeah, the person who wrote the letter.
Oh, the people upstairs were having sex? The person who wrote the email
was having sex.
While watering our plants?
No!
I'm so confused.
No, she was watering her plants
and he's popped his head out and went,
yeah, love, keep it down when you're shagging, by the way.
So it is her making all the noise
in all the foul language.
Oh, Christ.
Was that not clear the way I said it?
No, because you said it was on the communal thing.
Because they didn't know who it was.
Right, so I didn't know if she was right
and saying it's not me.
The guy above must know.
So the whole flat must be sick of it.
The whole building must be sick of it.
Oh, Christ. Keep it down. That's all. That know so the whole flat must be sick of it the whole building must be sick of it oh Christ
keep it down
that's all
that is so
I know we're laughing
but I mean
the foul language thing
just threw us off
the foul language thing
was hilarious
because what
like what are they saying
oh yeah
yeah bastard
sassanack
they're not saying it to you
yeah
it's not
aimed at you
they're saying it to each other
let's
in all honesty here we don't know how bad they're going
they could be throwing racial slurs
and it could go really dark
that stupid bitch of his
what a slack
the people at 14
are dicks
why are you saying that during sex
just get us off
they're listening
they're listening right look listen right i i'm
look i'm i am i've got to be honest with you i'm sorry but i'm i'm not i'm not on board with the
way they've written the letter but i am on board with the there's nothing worse than having noisy
neighbors there's nothing worse and if it's shagging as well if it's loud horrible shagging
sorry love look i know she's written she's called herself the loud love maker.
She says, well do you think people should keep their noises
down during sex or do you think people should
enjoy every moment of it? Enjoy it but you don't
need to scream and shout like a fucking psycho. No, I'm sorry, if you
live in a flat or shared accommodation
I put a lid on it.
Oh, the amount of times.
Shahada's at first.
She's lost us.
The amount of times
I've been in hotels
and I've heard people
shagging in the room
next door
and it just fucking
annoys us so much
see I think hotels
are a little bit different
well the difference is
I go to hotels
for different reasons
than other people
go to hotels
I literally am there
for work
yeah
see other people aren't
sometimes I get there
three in the morning
and I'm leaving two
the next day
so I keep
I understand
I keep much more
ridiculous hours
from other people
and if it's a Friday
and you've gone
to a lovely hotel somewhere and you've gone to a lovely hotel
somewhere
and you've gone
for a bit of
hanky panky
people sometimes
go to hotels
to be loud
because they might
live in a flat
above somebody
go fucking camping
is all I'm saying
there's loads of people
camping
don't be shagging
loud in a hotel
when I'm next door
have you ever
woke up in a tent
it's full of like
condensation
imagine shagging
in that
tents are the worst
tents are just the worst
but yeah
I just
I don't understand
people who have to
fucking scream and shout
every single time
they have sex
now and then
you know
you've had a few drinks
it's a special occasion
you know
you're going a bit daft
you're putting something on
or whatever
going for it
every time
it's like your mum's
your mum's a bitch
like
but every time yeah it's a bit intense that's like that's like every time's love your mum's a bitch like but every time
yeah it's a bit intense
that's like
that's like every time
you're going to the gym
working out until you're high up
like every time
you know
do you ever just do a
cheeky 5k on the treadmill
no I fucking taste blood
and shit myself
every time
good okay
you are banned from the gym
Mr Maniac
as always
thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of Shagmire Denied,
which is now part of the Acast Creator Network.
Yes, thank you very much.
That was really, really reserved, I think, for a Plonkcast.
I think we've done quite well.
I think we've done well.
I don't think we've made fools of ourselves.
I don't think...
Hopefully there's nothing we'll regret.
We'll see.
I think we're done.
I feel like it's good that we're doing Plonkcast now
because we need to get our tolerance up
because the tour is going to be one big long tour Plonkast.
Yes.
So there we go.
Yeah, for sure.
We will see you all in September
and anyone who wants to get tickets for December,
they are on sale now.
We'll be back in your ears next week.
Big love.
See you in a bit.
Bye. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do rock city you're the best fans in the league bar none tickets are on sale now for fan appreciation
night on saturday april 13th when the toronto rock hosts the rochester nighthawks at first
ontario center in hamilton at 7 30 p.m you can also lock in your playoff pack right now to
guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play.
Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.