Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 236. Rosie and Ramsey FM

Episode Date: September 22, 2023

On this week's podcast Chris and Rosie discuss Cribs, changing room debacles, cinema codes, childhood lies and there is even an office poll! Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder. April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health,

to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Hello, you're listening to Shag Mountain Oiled with me, Rosie Ramsey, dot ca I can just eat like bread and cheese and shit all day forever. And I'm just... No, that's absolutely fine, right?

Okay, watch what you're eating. Yes. That's what I'm doing. You're so extreme with everything that you do. Right. So now, he's in a terrible mood, everyone, right? Because he's starving. I'm not.

Oh, that's... I'm not starving. I know when you're hungry. I know when you're hungry. You're starving. So have something to eat. No. There's no bananas. I wanted a banana, but you didn starving so have something to eat no there's no bananas

I wanted a banana but you didn't order bananas there's apples there's pears there's cherry tomatoes there's nuts there's so many healthy things that you could have

have a slice of ham and shut the fuck up have a slice of ham and shut the fuck up hi welcome back sorry about that however what was hilarious

just there was we had to momentarily we couldn't press record because Rosie was busy eating a bourbon a chocolate bourbon and I said

and I said they're the worst fucking biscuits by the way and you said an incredible thing what did you say? so I bought bourbon biscuits

because they're a bit crap aren't they I bought them for the kids so I wouldn't eat them I've had three what's the point? I bought them it happened with the milky buttons I bought them so I wouldn't eat them oh yeah I've seen that I That's the point. I bought them. It happened with the milky buttons the other day. I bought them so I wouldn't eat them.

Oh, yeah, I've seen that. I'm trying. We're both just trying to look at our lives a bit more and breathe better and eat better. So I haven't been buying any chocolate because I could genuinely... It's all in threes. I could eat three bars of dairy milk a night.

I was at one point. That's when I put all the weight on. So I've tried not to. And I don't really like milky chocolate so i always buy the kids milky like chocolate do you mean white chocolate sorry yeah white chocolate um and there was a rogue package go and spare white chocolate buttons but you don't really pissed us off i ate the full packet i inhaled the packet and i was like i would have much rather had something else yeah yeah so if i'd like saved the i just i love the fact that you open the cup so you're I ate the full packet and I inhaled the packet. Yeah. And I was like, I would have much rather had something else. Yeah, yeah. So if I'd like saved the...

I just, I love the fact that you open the cupboard. So you're hiding, you're hiding from the kids. You're not hiding, I don't care what you, but you're hiding from the kids.

So you open the cupboard, you open both, it's like a double pantry thing. Oh yeah, yeah. You open it and you get them and you sort of stand inside it. Oh, it's pathetic. I don't mean to,

but I always happen to come in the room while you're doing it and you're just looking like, and I'm like, hello. It's awful. Very sad. It's a really horrible way to live, having to eat things in secret.

Yeah, for the kids. So your kids, yeah, because they would just eat. Our Robin is not stopping. Daisy, our producer Daisy, came up with an amazing saying that I can't get out of my head, and she said that her kids eat like they're hungover. Yeah. And that's exactly how our kids eat.

They eat like they are hanging out of their arse on a Sunday. Yeah, they do. Just scoffing. Now, Robin's gone back to school. Yeah. The other morning, he was like, can I have an ice pop? I was like, you're not on your summer holidays anymore. Ice pop?

No, you can't. You can't have an ice pop? You can't have an ice pop. It's just at like 8 o'clock in the morning. I've given up. It's just juice, isn't it? It's just juice. It's just a really strong juice.

Their only juice. The just juice. Guys, thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for listening. It is... It is episode 236. Episode 236.

Did you ever think it? Never in the world. From when we were in North Avenue. That's where we used to live. Just telling you all brilliant please don't say

any of our other street names that was our street and we're sat at our little kitchen table kitchen table kicking broccoli around on the floor which where's that table now

what house is that in it's in the garage someone's house it's in the garage oh it's in the garage oh no no your brother's got it it's at my Kev's

yeah yeah and that's where it all started we probably should have kept it why just as for the museum for when the museum rings up

eh for when for when the Smithsonian for when the Smithsonian want the the first table that an episode of

Shag Married in Ord was done on oh my god so the garage our garage right is just full of shit so much shit so much crap.

We need to sort it out. So I said to Chris, we should just go in. Once or twice a week and just take a couple of things in. Over time, about three years, it'll take with an empty head. I found stuff the other day, and I was genuinely, at first I got excited. I was like, oh, someone might really want these for a raffle or something. Then I was like, nah, they probably won't.

It was your Strictly shoes yeah they're in there because Strictly like once you've done it you're like you're dead to them aren't you well you've got to it's almost like Love Island

you've got to capitalise on it in that sort of yeah well I thought I was like no one's going to give they'll be like did you even do oh he was in it well everyone forgets

I did Strictly because guess what happened just after I finished Strictly we stayed in the house for a year and a half. Yeah, it was good though. So there's like

three pairs of shoes that you want in the garage and I thought, oh, these would be good but then I thought, no,

no one's going to want them. Rosie, again, I was going to the museum. When the Smithsonian ring, we'll put them on the table. What is the Smithsonian? Is that a posh museum?

Say the Louvre. Do a one, people. No. The Smithsonian. The Louvre is an art gallery it's not a museum the Smithsonian is the one

from Night at the Museum oh right okay there you go fair enough in America yes hey it's hard work knocking around with you

sometimes like sorry I don't know all the bloody museum names oh we had we did something quite clever not clever but em we really don't know

America very well, do we? I mean, I know what to say hello to. Was I with you when I did this? What? Was I with my dad? Right, hang on. Until you... Okay.

Guys, you know when people do that? You know when people do that? Was it... Oh, no, it wasn't. You know the other... It might not have been... Tell us what the thing is and join in

in this conversation. I think I was with my dad because my dad went to America this year. Right. He loved it. Yeah. And then I was like,

so whereabouts in America? Because you know, you know all these places. You know, you know. Are you talking about the other day where you mentioned a couple of places

and you got Google Maps up and you were with me? Right, okay. But that's not a clever thing. No, it wasn't clever but it was interesting, Chris. Because I think America, we know so much about America

but honestly, good in my head, I couldn't tell you where everybody is. I love doing that over there by the way, Guns to Heads. That's their favourite thing.

I've said good in my head loads. It's like when you get stuck on a scene all the time. I'm like, good in my head. Why are you saying good in my head to a seven-year-old? What's wrong with you? I don't know.

I hate this stuff. So I literally went over America, and now I know where loads of places are. And it's absolutely massive. It is gigantic. No wonder they never leave. Yeah. I mean, all their flights are internal.

They don't need passports. Dogs can go on planes and that. Yeah, why. No wonder they never leave. Yeah. I mean, all their flights are internal. They don't need passports. Oh, yeah. Dogs can go on planes and that. Yeah, why would you? It's like, it takes eight hours to get from one end to the other, doesn't it? Insane. On what? From east to west.

What are you travelling on at this point? An aeroplane. Yeah, I don't know specifically how long. It's far. Right. It was just really interesting. Yeah. God, Jesus Christ.

I mean, we're four years in, Chris. Can I just tell, can I just talk about stuff? Yeah, you can. But it was, you went, we did a really clever thing the other day.

All we did was, oh, it wasn't a really clever thing. You opened up Google Maps and you went, I said the wrong thing. All honesty, cards on the table,

gun to me head, sitting next to you while you were doing it was fucking painful because I was, we had something paused, we had the beer. You didn't know where they were Yes but I didn't give a fuck. That's why because I went where's the beer, Chicago

and I was like I don't know where it's at. Yeah but we had it paused so we had the beer paused and I'm ready to watch the next bit and you're fucking fingering your phone going eh that's up there, eh that's right down there. Chicago, it's not as north as what you think because I always thought

it was cold that was it yeah isn't it cold there but it's not as north and I just I had my finger on the just over the pause button

just ready to unpause it well I found it very interesting and by the way the bay brilliant but gee fucking intense

take a Xanax before you watch it Christ alive well you have been looking at America you can't get them over here listen I could live in America can't get them over here

Xanax guns to people's heads you fit right in apologies to any American listeners that is a sweeping generalisation which I did enjoy

for comedy effect but yeah it's a it's it I know what you mean, because we've watched so many things of American stuff all the way growing up. All the housewives.

Anyone who goes to New York, when you go to New York, it's like walking around a film set, because it's stuff you've watched forever. It's pretty cool. But the Bay is amazing, but you're right. You haven't worked in a kitchen, have you? No.

Terrifying. I worked in a bar, which was quite... People used to click at us in that, and I was like, that's horrific. Working in a kitchen is terrifying. Is it? Yeah. Is it like that? Yeah, so I was like that's horrific working in a kitchen's terrifying is it yeah is it like that

yeah so I was a kitchen porter in a restaurant I think I told you once I went up to the little hatch to look into the restaurant and the chef basically put his hand on me neck and essentially

choked slammed us across the room just pushed us right across the room really he's like get back what are they I was only the pot washer

but I was yeah and then the ones at the stadium that's um assault yeah I was only 16 and the ones at the stadium when

i worked at the stadium like that was pressure so sometimes there'd be like a massive bank would and sweet shout out at all service waiting staff oh my god anyone in the catering industry it's a nightmare but it was carnage outside with like you know loads of hundreds of people and then you're going in the kitchen and it was mad in the kitchen. Just screaming, shouting. I don't know how they keep everything hot for so long.

It's a science, it's a process but there was one chef really frightened of him at the Stadium of Light. I mean they were all frightened but one of them

specifically quite frightened of him and then someone told us that if you go and get him a Coke from the machine from behind the bar get him a drink of Coke

but squirt the syrup in a bit stronger so it's a big and get him a cork from the machine, right, from behind the bar, get him a drink of cork, but squirt the syrup in a bit stronger, so it's a big, bloody teddy bear after that. Three squirts of the syrup, then do my cork. What do you mean, why? It's bloody teddy bears, and you put it in your hands after that.

Really? Do what you want. You got my syrupy cork. You do what you want. Loved it. Lovely bloke. I don't like the, do you know when the syrup's a bit dodgy?

No, this was just, he just wanted more syrup in, so if you only push your hand down very slightly on the little thing... Oh, it comes out more. I tell you what, you've just brought back a memory for me of working in bars and that. I used to love pressing them buttons. Do you remember?

Soda. There was soda water. There was like Coke, lemonade, just with the little S in that. Just on the little, it looks like a little phone. Oh, it was luxe. Yeah oh it was lux yeah it was good I enjoyed working behind bars when I used to work behind bars I really did enjoy it

I worked at a I worked at a cafe which I really liked yeah oh yeah just toasties got any good anecdotes about that

or are you just all going to move straight on I just enjoyed working at a cafe and you could smoke indoors and I was young and I used to smoke when no one was there

oh brilliant you working at a cafe and it you could smoke indoors and i was young and i used to smoke when no one was there oh brilliant you thought i was a mint cheese uh cheese and corned beef toast you say with a side of no but i love no but i'll get in a second another another cheese and corned beef sorry um why is that waitress 16 but looks 65 it's just the way she carries herself cheese and corned beef sorry there might be a bit of ash in that might be a bit of ash love talking to me

you're pathetic it's disgusting horrible listen it's episode 236 thank you for being here it's time for this week's lucrative lucrative sponsor

this week's sponsor is accidentally sending someone an emoji you didn't mean to send them oh so I just did I just did it almost before there and it was didn't mean to send them. Oh. So I just did it almost before there and it was horrible.

I meant to send a kiss. I was talking to you and our brilliant producer of the TV show and the live show, Robin. And Robin with a Y. Ladies Robin.

And I went, put kiss, then send and accidentally I looked away and my finger went, instead of send, it went to the

sexual, alluringuring red lips. The kiss emoji. Or the actual just full on kiss. Just the, it would have been, because you're in that chat as well. That would have been, honestly,

I went, what do you saw as you were sitting opposite us? And I went, and he went, what? And I went, I've nearly said that, but I thought you were going to go,

you're pathetic. I thought you'd sent the person kissing, which you wouldn't have used that. No, no. It was the illustrious lips. No, it was the fucking, it was the, you know, kissing on a napkin.

Do you know what's, oh yeah, yeah. Horrible. Do you know what's sometimes worse? Because, so I'll spell out a word so the emoji comes up. Right, yeah, I do that. But sometimes if it doesn't

and you just send it. Yeah, I've written fingers crossed all the time. Do you know what it does if you just put crossed really so I've been like good luck crossed yeah it comes up

if you put crossed well you've just saved me so much time yeah because if you type eye roll you've got to write eye roll

so type fingers and then space and then crossed without a spaced and press the emoji and it deletes the words but if you put the space yeah after crossed and press it it writes fingers crossed and then sends the fingers crossed emoji pure fucking grander emoji send isn't it love emojis all right uh when when you

send us something to the kids and i want to send a little cry eyes i have to write out emotional because i don't know where that emoji is so if you write out emotional it gives you the little well you know the welling up one. See I'm at a point now where that's quite high up in my always used. So it's very depressing mine.

You can tell when you can literally tell what kind of week I'm having by what emojis I'm mostly used. It's like angry face crying face.

Steak. Bread. And listen we are not the podcast to talk about emojis. This is. Listen we are down with the kids. Disgusting listen we are down with the kids

disgusting we are down with the kids no we're not hey we're not how many emojis hey it's fast approaching

the hour here on Rosie and Ramsey FM Rosie and Ramsey FM listen it's a matter of fact what is your favourite emoji text in now

it's like being back on capital text cost 50 pence and make sure it's an MMS message John's been in touch from South Shields and his favourite emoji

is the aubergine oh John oh hey listen don't let your mum listen to this John cocking it it's a cock that one I think it is

something like that anyway do you know I'll tell you after the jingle we had a fight about the jingle we couldn't settle on a jingle so this is the jingle we hope you like the jingle Jingle Babadoo babadoo babadoo Jingle

Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shag Marinoid. What I was going to tell you is I feel like the listeners might enjoy this story about when I was in the taxi queue and I felt young, but actually I'm not young anymore. Okay. I told you, didn't I? I don't know. The elderly, not elderly, he was just an older gentleman he was actually

proper silver fox fit sorry so when you say taxi queue everyone imagines night out I imagine night out oh no this was off this was off

at Kings Cross you were in the taxi queue at Kings Cross it was a nice day I'd made a bit of an effort I was dressed quite nice make up on I met you later that day

I can tell I can tell you now yes correct I did solid 6 out of 10 that day I can tell I can tell you now yes correct I did solid 6 out of 10 that day oh solid at least an 8

I'm your wife above 5 what does that say about you above 5 is great is it it says that I do charity work wow I'm joking

you look beautiful thank you 10, 11 you look fantastic anyway there's this bloke and he must have been about 60 odd right

about my mum and dad's age lush proper lush had a suit on and that em anyway there's this bloke and he must have been about 60 odd right about me mum and dad's age lush proper lush had a suit on and that he looked at us in like a quite kind of like man looks at a woman way

right and honestly my first thought was oh what a creep I'm a kid I'm just a kid and you caught your reflection in a taxi window and you realized oh no i'm nearly 40 um yeah isn't that mad how your brain sometimes doesn't actually change yeah and i was like in a

in a normal world i could i could go out with him yeah yeah it's a bit of a big big age gap for me but at the same time it's not wouldn't be frowned upon I don't think as much 23 years is the age gap but I think I think age gaps don't really mean anything after 30 I know what you mean

they sort of narrow they do narrow do you know what I mean I think younger than 30 it's a bit but older yeah it's not

so but honestly when he did I was like I am 20 years old and you avert your eyes looking at me But honestly, when he did, I was like, I am 20 years old. And you... Avert your eyes. Looking at me like that. Avert your cataract ridden, seen everything...

Saggy eyes. During the war, eyes from my 13-year-old tight body. You old, dusty pervert. What? But in reality, it was like... Well, it was lush oh yeah he was lush he was absolutely lush well this

I wasn't going to mention this and I'd actually forgot this I think I'd blocked it out of my brain so me and you went for dinner that was the night before the NTAs and me and you were in the hotel and we went for dinner that night and you sat opposite us

and you told us about this this rich edgier looking beautiful 60 year old man dressed in in his defense he might not be looking at me well you told me about this this Richard Gere looking guy

who looked at you and I was like alright okay and you got annoyed that I wasn't jealous oh yeah didn't you you were like

why are you never jealous you never get jealous of the thing that happened in the past that led to nothing look if you told us you'd suck them off in the queue i might have had something to say about it but what is wrinkly we've got listeners who are in this get your Get your carbon dated ancient artifact wrinkly testicles off this prepubescent chin now. Yeah, you were. You were well annoyed that I wasn't jealous.

And I was like, what do you want us to say? I'm going to go and hang around at King's Cross now and look for this old codger. You just never really get very jealous at what point did you I don't think you care enough Chris I know that I love you

so much and I know that you love me so much I know I've got a brilliant life and you could tell us that loads of people came on you and I wouldn't be bothered because I knew you it doesn't happen Chris

it doesn't happen well I don't see you first of all stop fucking lying stop telling porkies right it doesn't happen I would

but I know you would never and I know I would never and it is what it is do you know what I mean was his dog looking at you as well well done yeah terrible did he not have some kind of food

and the dog was looking and he was looking to see where the dog was looking I don't know he might have been looking for a taxi maybe I'm sure Rosie you're beautiful you look gorgeous I'll have a show alright was looking and he was looking to see where the dog was looking I don't know he might have been looking for a taxi maybe I'm sure

Rosie you're beautiful you look gorgeous I'm sure alright shut up you're going to make everyone feel

right okay listen I'll kill him what about that listen you old fucking shit if you listen to this you old Richard Gere

hamster up the arse silver haired fucking prostitute buying how do you know about that what years and years ago

there was rumours that Richard Gere used to put hamsters up his arse oh see did he hey quickly google it

rumours surrounding various male celebrities engaging in gerbil gerbling sorry have become persistent urban legends a covered version of the story

involves actor Richard Gere and is referenced in various media properties such as the scream such as scream theream such as Scream The Simpsons

and The Vicar of Dibley nobody's safe yeah no erm oh Snopes Snopes is a a website that basically

tells you if stuff's bollocks or not erm that never happened I don't think Richard Gere was taken to a hospital emergency room to have a gerbil

removed from his rectum claim claim Richard Gere was taken to a hospital emergency room to have a gerbil removed from his rectum. Claim. Claim. Richard Gere was taken to a hospital emergency room to have a gerbil removed from his rectum. Rating. False. Oh.

False. Stop spreading false lies, Christopher. False. It wasn't me. If you're talking about it, you're spreading it. It was a rumour. And it's false. And poor hamsters, it was a bloody gerbil.

Hamsters are the real victim here. Gerbils are massive. It's like a tampon, isn't it? You've got the tail. I can't talk about animals and that. No? No thanks. No. No. Well, listen, I'll kill you if you're listening. Eh? You old pervert staring at my, eh? Staring at my bloody

clearly, clearly under 30 wife. Eh? You better run. Look at you running. Go on. Careful you don't pop a hip or something when you're running. Yeah, I'll do jiu-jitsu!

Stop looking at her! Is that better? Is that the kind of reaction you want? Because it's pathetic and childish. Stop, man. Shut up. You really upset me the other day. Oh, wow.

So we're not having any beefs this episode, are we? Because this, to let people behind the camera, camera, microphone, scenes, curtain. Usually scenes. Action. To let people behind the curtain, we are recording this one straight after the last one. Yeah.

I hate it, by the way. It's weird, innit? I don't know how people do them in blocks. We've talked about that before. It's just, I've got nothing. It's just shit. I've got nothing. I need a week for need i need a week the richard stuff carried through quite a lot i think we're all right with that um but basically i'm away i'm back now but i will

have been away yeah filming i can't really say too much about but it's a thing for sky if you saw the so last year there was a thing on alex booker hosted it and it was a like the science behind home alone and it was on hosted it, and it was like the science behind Home Alone, and it was on at Christmas, and it was comedians doing all this. Maybe I don't think you should say this. No, but it's not Home Alone. You might be embargoed.

I'm not embargoed. I've never said anything. So it's a thing. It's a Christmas special about a Christmas film for Sky, and I'm filming it. He's leaving us. So yes, so we're doing this straight after, and I won't apologise.

Annoyingly, by the time this comes out, he will be home I will be home and all will be forgiven and Richard Gere will be in my bed and Richard Gere will be like

man you'll have to get rid of him shall I tell you what time I'm coming back so you can get rid of him sometimes Chris carries on a joke too long

and it's really irritating he does this in the house constantly and it's really irritating and let me tell you all why you upset me you really upset me so this is sort of a beef right ok well you can have And let me tell you all why you upset me. You really upset me. So this is sort of a beef, right?

Okay, well you can have one beef then. All right, okay. Go on. You told me something about a TV program that I used to love. And it really upset us. I told you something about a TV program that you used to love? Cribs. Oh, yeah.

So I only saw this recently. But yeah, this is, yeah, sorry. So apparently, right, cribs, not their houses. Yeah, most of them are bollocks. What? What the F? Isn't that crazy? That, how? Yeah.

Like, I was so gullible. Yeah. I genuinely thought that that was their houses. Now that you've said it though the kitchens were always mad like they were always kind of really like old-fashionedy and like a rich person's kitchen and i was just like they don't suit that kitchen if that makes sense but then i thought ah they're rich they don't cook in there they've got chefs and stuff yeah why didn't i don't understand well were their houses not as good? Even as a kid, I always watched it.

So there's two things I thought... I loved Cribs. Two things I thought. I would watch it and I would go, why are you putting all this on? If I was a burglar, I would just come and... I would just come and burgle you. Yeah.

Because your whole house is on here and you're showing everyone what it is. Uh-huh. And I remember watching the little Bow Wow episode. Uh-huh. And I remember thinking, you have got one song, one song... Right. and you are walking around

one of the biggest houses I've ever seen and you've got to be $17,000 Did you not write on stuff in that though? Did Little Bow Wow write on stuff?

It's not Little it's Lil Lil Bow Wow My apologies Not Little Bow Wow Grandad Elmer check your battery Lil Bow Wow Alright battery Lil Bow Wow

Alright did Lil Bow Wow The only thing Lil Bow Wow wrote on Was the fucking Little Brow Wow I said Bow Wow The only thing Lil Bow Wow wrote on was his fucking pencil case When he was graffiting it at school

Because he was about three Bow Wow Wow Where my dogs at Bark with me now pencil case when he was graffitiing it at school because he was about three what was his song again wow wow wow yippee yo yippee yay where my dogs at bark with me now bark with me now how embarrassing well done

so yeah and apparently he was snooped everyone said he was snoop dog's nephew but then it came to light that snoop dog basically calls everyone nephew oh

it's like his thing okay but no so that wasn't his house yeah mad I don't think it was apparently it came out recently that most of

them were bollocks and that's why the red man one where he's showing you around oh that's hilarious a fucking squat that he lives in

is I mean it's not it's you know it's a nice apartment to be fair he's just a fucking he's just a scruff it's a clip though yeah it's a mess

he's just a scruff yeah he's got like a Sega Dreamcast I just I don't know in the way I totally believed it yeah but all their clothes

and that were there well I imagine I think they just had a production team I imagine they just go you're coming to film you know you're coming to film Cribs

come to this mansion we've made it look like yours we'll put some they all had the same fucking Scarface poster man they all had the same Scar all the rappers

was like there's a poster from Scarface it was always Scar it was always Scarface you know I'm gonna have to go back and watch loads because the kitchens were mad

the kitchens were like I was always put the kitchen I just thought you don't have the I don't think all of them were bollocks but a lot of them were bollocks I don't think what's her name's who did it man Pamela Anderson

I think hers was real it wasn't Paris Hilton's real as well apparently a lot of them were bollocks because that's the thing apparently they said to Redman we've got a house for you to film in and he went no you're coming to be real I think hers was real. It wasn't Paris Hilton's real as well. Apparently a lot of them are bollocks. Because that's the thing. Apparently they said to Redman, we've got a house for you to film in. And he went, no, you're coming to a real house.

If you haven't seen it, it's hilarious. What's Redman done? Is that a gravel pit? Redman's on Dirty. Wanna get dirty. Wanna get a little bit roody. Get right up in a hurry. Wanna get dirty. Oh, what a song.

I've literally just been transported back to being 18 in a visa. It's about time for my arrival. I'm gonna get a little bit rooney. Oh, God, I love that song so much. Okay. So remember, a.m. to p.m. Okay. Let's not play Rosie remembers songs that she doesn't know

the words to Mandy Moore came on the other day who the fuck is Mandy Moore get in that bathroom and wash your mouth who the fuck is Mandy Moore is that some sort of joke Lil Mandy Moore now you're annoying us because I can't remember the song that came out.

Oh, there we go. I was washing the mouth out now, eh? Wash your fucking ears out. Eh? Hang on. I'm missing you like candy, yeah. Missing you like candy. Nope.

So baby, come to me. Show me who you are. Nope. Sweat to me. Nope. Like sugar to my heart Nope Right, well that's upsetting

It's a tune Anyway Finished? I'm done Nice reminisce Quibbles with a load of bollocks That's so upsetting Yeah

So upsetting That's a massive part of my childhood Next Next they're going to be telling me That they didn't pimp those people's rights properly You be telling me that they didn't pimp those people's rides properly. You're telling me that they didn't

drive down the street with three Xboxes and a fucking jacuzzi on the back of their car. Yeah. You're telling me those cars weren't roadworthy.

I know. Yeah? I believed it. I remember they did the UK one and it was just cack. Because they didn't have a budget.

No, they didn't. It was like, we've gave you new tyres because they were below the limit. We've changed your car mats to AstroTerm. We've refilled your washer fluid. And do you know what? Just because we know you love not getting fined,

we've taxed it for a year for you. Babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things. Of evil. It's all. No, no, don't. The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil.

Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The first omen. Lee and Peter's Friday. Get tickets now.

Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game, and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever?

Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for?

Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. It's time for questions from the public. Questions from the public. Public. Public. Peppa Pig. Peppa Pig.

Very nice. Hi, Rosie. No, no, no, no. Back in your box. As always, if you'd like to get in touch, it is shagmoudanoid at gmail.com. Get out of your box. Great. Hi, Rosie and Chris.

I'm a manager of a well-known high street clothes shop and one quiet thursday night i was called to help with an incident in the fitting rooms oh an incident in the fitting rooms naturally i thought it was a customer kicking off however when i got down there i was told by some of the girls that worked for me that there were some unusual noises coming from one of the cubicles shagging yep I know people who used to do this. I'm aware of people who used to do this. Yep, yep. Perverts.

Nah, young. Now, bearing in mind these are very small changing rooms separated by just a curtain and it was a quiet evening with very few customers in the store. The noises were pretty loud and described by the girls as what they thought was somebody in pain. But I could tell it was someone having sex.

That's the work experience, isn't it? What? I think somebody's in pain over there. That would have been me at the body shop at 14. I think somebody's dying. They're crying. They've left a big balloon with milk in it in the changing room.

Why would anyone put milk in a balloon? Someone's scrambling eggs in the changing room. Why would they do that? Scrambling eggs? You know when you scramble eggs? It sounds like the smacking sound. Oh, right. Okay. Very slightly. I mean, Jesus, how fast you're going. It's got that kind of stamina.

It's like porn, isn't it? Right. So, I yelled through the curtain. He's got that kind of stamina. It's like porn, isn't it? Right, so I yelled through the curtain, can you stop that, please? This is a public place. Ooh. But they didn't stop. Even after I called the shopping centre security, the couple were still at it like rabbits.

So, naturally, I opened the curtain on the filthy little bastards and was greeted by some bare-arse bloke slamming his fully naked girlfriend into the mirror. Security then arrived and escorted the couple off the premises and they were banned from the shopping centre. You're never coming back to the bridges again. Banned from the shopping centre.

Eldon Square is dead to you too. Banned from the shopping centre I thought this situation would leave me with a fun anecdote and the mental image of that man's arse burned into my eyes however years later this is where it comes back around

I don't know what you're going to feel about this what they're having sex in the car park because they're not allowed in the shopping centre however years later as I was drying my hair after a shower in the spare room, I heard my boyfriend screaming. I rushed in our bedroom and saw the very unattractive image of my boyfriend mid-wank, dick still in hand.

Why is he screaming? Waving his phone round like a loon. I thought he'd snapped his banjo or something, but it was something much worse. After he'd calmed down, he handed me his phone and asked me to watch the video he found. I watched as I saw a video of some couple having sex in a changing room, a bit like the one where I worked. Shut the fuck up. It wasn't until I heard a familiar voice yelling at them that I realised

this was the pervert couple from my work and that was me speaking. No way. Had a little laugh with my boyfriend about this thinking they would have cut the part where they got caught out. However, as I looked down

at the phone again, I saw myself in this video whipping the curtain open and making eye contact with this man's arse all over again. That's when I realised

why my boyfriend was really screaming. I was in a bloody porno. Why is he not finishing? I don't... I mean, why... Do you have a wank when I'm drying me hair? How long do you take to dry your hair?

Seriously, do you have a wank when I'm in the house? No. I believe that's called a danger wank. Oh, right, okay. Isn't it? If you want to get caught. Yeah. If you're not bothered.

I mean, some people aren't bothered. Yeah, you might just do it all. But anyway, yeah. I've told you, caught. Yeah. If you're not bothered. I mean, some people aren't bothered. Yeah, you might just do it all. But anyway, yeah. I've told you, I've never masturbated since we got together. No, you haven't, have you? No, never. That is ridiculous. First of all, I mean, some, like, do some couples know?

I know you always go to me and go and have a wank, which I've talked about before, which I can't bear. I'm joking. Do some couples just go and go like, oh, I've got a wank, and you just, like like leave the room and like she knows it's happening i feel like i've had you know before you yeah other relationships i know it's never happened no i've never been in a relationship where some people are a lot more like and don't get me wrong i think it's really good to talk about stuff and i you know i know

that you masturbate it's absolutely and so do I so let's just all crack on I did it once I did it once to make sure it works and then I've never done it since great

but I'm worried for you doing it when I'm in the house like vice versa strange but I don't know what goes on in other people's

relationships I fully believe that they left that part of being caught in like I fully believe that they left that oh well it is

yeah she's fully like whips the curtain. That's probably why they didn't stop. They probably wanted. So the, the, the, the blooming caption is probably something like caught in the act.

In the act. Yeah. Oh my God. Do you think the travel around the country in different shopping centres? I'll tell you what. Wow. Imagine there might be banned from every shopping centre in the country. Where,

where would you get your stuff? Well, you probably, probably online. Probably mostly online. Wow. Yeah. I,

yeah, the caption for that, and I'm telling you right now, the caption will be, caught in Debenhams with stepsister. Before it's shut down. It's always stepsister.

Why is that? It's so vile. So weird. It's so incest. Rosie, obviously I don't know, me friends have told us all the videos on them, them kind of sites. I don't know what they are. I don't know how you get on them. I don't know, me friends have told us all the videos on them,

them kind of sites. I don't know what they are. I don't know how you get on them. I don't think my phone goes on them. I mean, all the computers. Blocked. All of the videos,

Step Sister, Step Mam. No. Stop it. Are they all like that now? Nearly every video. Why? There's no backstory.

It's just two people having sex. But they just write under the caption, Step, oh, yeah, Step Sister. Why? I don't know. I don't know i don't know it's fucking and then you see these um now and then like lad bible or someone will publish a thing going oh this is what porn people watch all over the world and you go britain britain love incest porn no every video is just called step sister

what you're supposed to do that's awful horrible there's something wrong with that like that's really weird still honestly I worry so much for the younger generation like not getting banned

from shopping centres no porn I just think yeah it's great it's great for what it is and it probably serves a

purpose and I'm not trying to slag off porn at all crazy accessible though for a minute but it's so accessible and

it's so like it's so intense yeah and then I just think's so like it's so intense and then I just think oh god like that's just how they think sex is meant to be and it's like it's not I mean when I was of the you know age of what

like say like 12, 13 whatever when people start, when kids start watching it maybe even younger but it was like someone, a friend of a friend found a video in his mom and dad's cupboard. Or like a magazine in their brother's bed, older brother's bedroom.

And in two weeks, the mom and dad are going away. So we're going to his on a Saturday and we're going to watch it. Like not click, click, click, full on. My first- Hours of it. My first thing of porn,

I must've been about 16, 15 or 16. And my friend had cable and there was 10 minutes before... Oh, 10 minute preview of Television X. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

And I think there was Topless Darts was on or something. That was Channel 18. That was Newcastle Live, Channel 18. Of course you know it. And then there was like 10 minutes of porn

and it was just like, what the fuck is this? That was softcore porn as well though. Yeah. You didn't see any bits and pieces. It's really bad. I think someone needs to be done about it. Boobies and bums is what that was.

Just boobies and bums. But surely that's enough for kids that age, isn't it? I mean, I think it's too much for kids. No, I know, but I think there's nothing wrong if you're legally going to have sex, you can watch porn. I just think the intensity and how easily we're going to have to have some, you can watch porn. I just think the intensity and how easily... We're going to have to have some strong words with our kids.

I think, yeah. I think you just need to tell your kids that it's an exaggerated version of what you see, and it is what it is. But that's what they're going to want to do when they have sex. Well, you go, that's not what it is. Imagine a kid losing their virginity now. They'll be like, bend over.

What? Missionary. For like a year. kid losing the virginity now they'll be like bend over what eh just like missionary for like a year for a year no do you know what I mean alright sister Margaret

no I'm sorry I just I can't I've like I'm not approved at all no no you know I'm not

approved but em you know better than anybody I wouldn't know it's just it's terrifying man when you've got kids I know what you mean but I wouldn't know it's just it's terrifying man when you've got kids i mean but i have to know it's an it is what it is and it serves a purpose

and it's you know it but like i say it's an elevated version of it oh lads are gonna hate us i would literally be like anal is not a thing that women like don't try it um some women like not not all you unless you, do not come in faces. It's not everyday practice. We're going to have to. We're going to be like special occasion. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. Been dating for a while. It just terrifies us. It really does, Chris. And I don't mean it. In the same way that, like I say, it's an elevated version of it.

It's the same way as like not every Christmas party ends up like die hard. It's a film. It's make-believe. And I think you're looking at it the same as that. Yeah, but every porn now is... It used to be quite soft, didn't it? And quite like touchy-feely.

Now it's just... Yeah. Yeah. Horrible. Yeah. Horrible. Hi, Chris and Rosie. Long-time listener. first-time emailer.

Welcome. Hello. I was just reminded by a Compare the Market ad, all will become clear, nothing to do with me, I promise, about a time in my life where I was a complete nut at it, which I wanted to share. Is that a play on words? Compare the market, complete nut at it?

No. Right, well, they've done that accidentally there. There's layers here. Well done. Rew. There's layers here. Ah, well done. Rewind. Rewind. Rewind. Great work.

Rewind. Rewind, Hamilton. Stop it. To 2017, where I had just had my heart smashed into smithereens by my boyfriend of the time of four years. Oh, my gosh. Let's call him Ken. Ken.

Without going into too much detail, he broke up with me without any reason whatsoever. Naturally, I blamed myself and thought of all the things I may have done wrong to push him away. Oh, babe. Stop that. Didn't deserve you. How old's 17? How old is 17?

How old? Was she 17 is she saying? No. Rewind to 2017. Oh,ind to 2017. Oh, shit, okay. Where I had, just, I don't know how old she was. Unfortunately, I was still very much in love with Ken and wanted to do anything I could do to still feel close to him. Oh, gosh. From lunches out to talk through things, in brackets,

I'd always pay, to the inevitable sex that always ended with him saying, we mustn't do that again. Oh god. Oh. Which would subsequently lead to it happening another eight times on separate occasions. Oh. It's clear I was wanting to do everything I could to see if things would change and get him back.

Is this a fucking D&D we're reading out here? This is... No, it's just, you know when you break up with someone and have you... Okay. I don't think anyone's really broke up with me before okay I think I've always been

the breaker rubber wow and I don't mean that in I don't mean that in like an arrogant way do you want me to quickly break up with you now and see what it feels like

no I don't we're done I think I'm a bit how was that I don't know I don't know if I've ever I don't know if I've ever loved somebody and them not loved me back the same I can't know I don't know if I've ever I don't know if I've ever loved somebody

and then not loved me back the same I can't imagine I think that would be horrible right I know what you mean so you haven't

you haven't put yourself out there you've been a bit guarded and you haven't put yourself out there unless you knew it was going to be reciprocated right okay there we go fair enough

roundabout way of saying that but I know what you mean you haven't you haven't been vulnerable in love is what you is what no i don't think i have okay but this poor lass has and she's like trying to go for meals with him and saying let's go and stuff and um see i i'm i'm not about all like take you're like i'm like rip the fucking last rip the last of plaster off let's see this is over it's over fucking high five have a good life see you later no i'm not not cool with being friends afterwards as well i think it's weird unless you've got kids i might

be in wrong here but unless you've got like kids and stuff to sort out and like stay friendly and stay amicable because you know i'm dropping them off at yours on saturday and blah blah blah yeah if you've literally got no ties apart from the fact that you're together and now you're not see you later i don't have any i'm not friends with any like do you go when you've literally got no ties apart from the fact that you've worked together and now you're not. And now you're not. See you later. I don't have any. I'm not friends with any of my exes. Like, do you go, when you've sold a house,

do you go back and go and fucking sit in that garden and stand outside the house and look through the windows every couple of days? No. No, you don't. No, you don't.

You just leave it. It's gone. But I can kind of, so I can kind of see where she's coming from because I have split up from long-term relationships and still you can't fully leave straight away so i get where she's coming from but it's just i just i just think well it's hard i feel i feel for her

one notable occasion though has stuck with me ever since leaving me question why i was such a tit for allowing this to happen look we've all done daft stuff. Well, actually, yeah. We've all done silly things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, our family had an insurance plan with Compare the Market, which meant two-for-one cinema tickets every week. Cracking deal, if you ask me. I do remember that. That was a good deal.

One night, Ken messaged me asking how I was doing and what I was up to that weekend. As you can imagine, I got excited as this seemed like he wanted to make plans with me. Why is he texting her?

Just leave her. Oh, how wrong I was. Why is he stringing her on? I know. Fuck you, Ken. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck you, Ken, and everything you stand for.

I, okay, maybe I have been strung on a little bit in certain situations. Yeah. He then went on, but then I've got very, very opinionated friends. Right. Who would just tell you. Who tell us straight. I've always, my best friends, still my best friends now,

will literally be like, what are you doing? Steph, she's the worst. She is. Brutal. So actually, I think that's why I've kind of never had my heart broken because Steph's like,

eh, no, finish now. Did, did be ringing him around me. Did, put your phone, literally, put your phone down. Fibbly. Angela's actually not that thing. She's a bit nicer, but anyway. ringing him around me did put your phone literally put your phone down fiddly Angela's actually not there I think she's she's a bit nicer

but anyway he then went on to ask if my dad still had the two for one deal on cinema tickets to which I said yeah we do

oh you he then bottom feeder I kid you not asked to have the code so he could take a girl he was now seeing to the cinema to see Murder on the Orient Express.

Ken, you bastard. Shit first date if you ask me, that's what you said. Murder on the Orient Express. The worst thing about it is that I actually sent the fucking code without question. Here you go, I replied. So I essentially paid for half my ex's first date what an idiot the only good

I got out of it is knowing that murder on the Orient Express was actually a pile of shit that's your opinion I think that's a good thing

because that was the adult thing to do not like it could have been worse you could have went how dare you I can't believe you asked me for this

you're a disgrace you're cheap you're horrible rub it in me face I can't believe you asked him for this. You're a disgrace. You're cheap. You're horrible. Rub it in me face. I still love you. You didn't. You went, there's a code.

Fuck off. I think he would have been like, oh. I think she's the winner. Big dick energy. I think accidentally, that isn't embarrassing. That's accidentally really fucking cool what you did there. Yeah. Go sister. And look, if you've still got that code,

next email back. I'm always after a bargain. I'm always after a bargain. I'm always after a bargain. It was a good code. There's more. Do you want to hear more? Yeah, yeah. Moral of the story.

I need to stop being such an idiot. No, you don't. No, you don't. I think it was great. Yeah, be you. You're not an idiot. And stop giving codes out to people I shouldn't. I'm now happily married.

Not to Ken. And I've not given out a single Meerkat movie deal code since. Good for you. It's about to change because you're going to send it to me. And it actually transpired, found out through my sister, that the reason Ken broke up with me

is because he had actually cheated on me with a girl in the next tent hours at Redden Festival. Ick. That is a grubby little sentence

right there. He's a grubby little Ken, isn't he? That's a grubby little sentence. Imagine, so they were at Redden Festival together

and he's cheated on her in a tent next door. What were your tents made of? Fucking horrible little dickhead that he is. How are you managing that? I hate him. Insulated? I hate him.

Oh, I don't like Ken. He's cheap. He's a tent jumper. He's a tent shagger. Yeah. I don't like him at all. He's nasty. Yeah.

His real name isn't Ken. Apologies to everyone called Ken because his real name is not Ken. No. Whoever he is. Ken's probably going to come back around, you know, since the Barbie movie. I imagine so.

Because you think, actually, the name Ken, you think like, no, just Ken Barlow. Corrie. Yeah. You know, that's the older generation. Ken was a very popular name. They do come back round.

I think it's going to come back round. We'll be dropping Rafe off at school in years to come and in the nursery they'll be like, Ken! And I'll think, that's off Barbie. Don't say that with a parent. What? off barbie oh like off barbie sorry sorry what i just called out your

son ken like off barbie yeah rosie so he'll be yeah he'll be born when barbie was out remember barb and highman stuff sorry please stop talking to me all right no problem hi chris and rosie long time listener. First time writing in. Hey, welcome to the party, pal. Hi. So I have a question. What fact were you told as a child that you still believe or believed

until you were well into adulthood? You got any facts? Well, obviously not facts. Bullshit. But it was dressed up as a fact. Me mum still tells me now that the quality of sleep you get before midnight is better than the quality of sleep you get before midnight Is better than the quality of sleep you get after midnight

She might be right you know I think there is some sort of She might actually be right So if you go to bed at nine o'clock And wake up at four That's a better sleep than midnight till Go on Go on you can do it

Eight Nine Nine in the morning Ten What? Seven There we are Eight? Nine? Nine in the morning? Ten? What? Seven. There we are.

But yeah, I think she's got a point. Anyway, I thought I would give you mine. Fuck's sake. Maths, just maths. You know what we should do? She went further. You know what we should do? We should get a maths GCSE paper and see how we're doing.

I'd be terrible. Let's try it. I'd be dreadful. I'd be quite funny. Dreadful. Squares on the hypotenuse and all that. Seriously, sats. Let's get your two sats.

What Robin's just done. It's the hungry caterpillar. See if you can manage that first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought I would give you mine. As a child for years, whenever we drove through the countryside, I was told that sheep on hills had two legs longer on one side than the other

to help them stay stable on the hill. Fast forward. That's amazing. Oh, I love that. Fast forward to 2021, and in my 20s, I was driving through the country with my new boyfriend at the time when I very confidently chose to tell him this fact. Fucking wonderful.

Only for him to point out that they do in fact turn around and not tumble, which puzzled me as I had never thought of this. Hopefully this will make you laugh as much as it made my friends laugh. That's great. You're a bugger. That's great. That's a dickhead dad. That's a dickhead dad joke. It's wonderful.'s great that's that's it that's a dickhead dad that's a dickhead dad joke it's wonderful i love that so much because they're gonna take that literally through your

life absolutely brilliant yeah big fan of that big big fan of that i think mine i mean we shouldn't but i think mine that i still do now is off my mom if someone's got the fridge open for more than three seconds oh my god i literally want to tackle them to the floor. Seriously. It's actually a problem you've got. Yeah, it's off me, ma'am. The way that you go on when that fridge is open

for longer than three seconds is ridiculous. Let's Google it, right? Because me ma'am's thing was just said, once you leave the fridge door open, it takes 40 minutes to cool back down.

That was her thing. So let's see if she's right. But so fuck. Like, what are you meant to do? Never open your fridge. Electricity. Oh it's the way that you go on.

Them poor brains of ours. Shut the fridge. They must have nightmares at night to see you here and you go shut the fridge.

Oh my god. A refrigerator will need anywhere between 3 and 24 hours to get back to its original temperature. How long it takes will depend on the amount of time the door's been left open, how much food there is in the fridge, and the temperature of the kitchen.

Mam, I'm sorry! I'm going to get a lock put on that fridge. But how long have you got to have the door open? Oh, God. Oh, we should never let you do that. Oh, God. Oh, this has made it worse. Oh, no. Don't. It's not that bad.

Oh, I've got a headache. Oh, no. It's not that bad. Oh, I've got a headache. Oh, God. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hi, guys. Hi. Don't think you have done an office poll for a while. But this has just come up in a work conversation after I nearly took the tip of my finger off cutting chicken with scissors.

Oh, God. After being told that I am mental for using scissors to cut chicken, chicken breast, not a cooked chicken, that would be mental, I decided to do an office poll. So far, it's even Stevens with four to scissors and four to knife. Is it weird to use scissors?

Because I thought it was the norm. First time I saw someone using a knife to cut chicken breast, I was very, very confused. My mum used scissors all the time. My mum has got the the time my mum has got the same my mum has got

I'm telling you right now she got exactly the same pair of kitchen scissors that she had when I was growing up she's still got them orange handle and she would cut

bacon with them cut the fat off bacon with them and cut chicken breast and the first the first person I saw cut chicken breast

with a knife was Carl Hutchinson oh yeah so there you go I've never seen your mum cut cut chicken breast with a knife was Carl Hutchinson. Oh. Yeah. Okay. So there you go. I've never seen your mum cut chicken. Chicken breast with scissors.

I can imagine I cut chicken. Okay, so I'm a knifer. Yeah. Just going to put it out there. But weirdly, I cut bacon with the scissors. It's really easy

to cut chicken with scissors. It's really easy. Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really, really good. You can get them in thin strips. Get thin strips.

Okay. Before I slag it off, maybe I should just try it. Here's a question. Have you ever seen someone cut a pizza with scissors? We've talked about this before. Yeah. Hate it. Want to die. Can't bear it. I know, but it kind of makes sense. I tell you what. It's awful. I know you slagged it off a little bit when you got it, but that pizza thing I bought you for

best dad pizza. The pizza board. It's amazing. Pizza board's amazing. It's got the lines grooved in you just roll the roller through it it's fantastic so you can't use the fucking scissors on that can you

no best thing ever I bought you some cracking presents so the best pizza cutter you can get is the one I've got in the back room from the pizza oven

which is a big curved blade and you just go rock rock rock oh yeah that pizza oven which you have not used at all how dare you

you haven't used it at all this summer how why haven't we got a barbecue seriously Why haven't we got a barbecue? Seriously? Woo! Why haven't we got...

Woo! Ask Santa and you might get a barbecue. I would love a barbecue. Right. Who's going to clean it? What do you mean who's going to clean it? Who's going to clean it once it's been done? You.

What? You're cleaning it. Who's going to walk it? Who's going to feed it? You'll get bored of that barbecue after 10 minutes I know you will I really want a barbecue I grew up

we can get a barbecue but it's not it's not sleeping in the beds with us stop it I just want a barbecue but I want a gas one none of this

waiting for the coals cheetah none of that shit I know what you mean well I've always said that I want an outside bit where I can like fry fish without it

stinking the entire house some of my greatest memories of being a kid and my mum I think my mum likes it when I talk about nice things in my childhood was coming home like fry fish without it stinking the entire house over. Yeah, some of my greatest memories of being a kid, and my mum, I think my mum likes it when I talk about nice things in my childhood, was coming home from school. If my mum was ever in from work and I could smell a barbecue at the bottom of my street,

I would run home and it would be my mum had the barbecue on in the back garden. That's a nice memory. Yeah, and it was amazing because I was just like, yeah, I guess, lush. How yn wych oherwydd roeddwn i'n meddwl, ie, rwy'n disgwyl. Lwch. Pa amser ar ôl hynny wnaethant ffwrdd? Ym, tua... 5 mlynedd.

Dim ond i'w ddifri yn ôl y tu allan, dim ond yn eu cymryd yn ôl. Roeddwn i'n cael plant gwych. Ie. Roeddwn i, roeddwn i'n cael plant gwych arfer. Diolch, mam, diolch, dad, gobeithio. Roedd yn wych. Roedd... Ydych chi'n cael plant gwych? Ynolweddol da. Ie, roeddwn i'n cael plant gwych, ond nid yw hyn yw hyn yw hyn! it was class did you have a good childhood annoyingly nice yes I had a good childhood

but that's not what this is about I know you've got to show appreciation where it's I had an absolutely cracking childhood yeah it was brilliant not full of stuff

like you know didn't can my dad always tells us off because I once mentioned that we didn't go on holiday for a few years and we didn't dad actually but we did go on

a lot of holidays over the course of my childhood but he literally told us off he was like someone tell me that you said we didn't go on holiday right

first of all who are these fucking people who keep approaching our parents and tell them grassing us up keep your fucking mouth shut right

Derek doesn't listen my mum and dad don't listen laugh at them with we and move on stop approaching parents in the street and telling them we're saying weird things. It isn't for them.

Your mum's going to be weird. If we ever go to her house, she'll be like, well, I would have made chicken, but I heard that you said I couldn't. That's on the podcast. So I'm not. So don't tell her that we're talking about a cutting chicken because she'll get paranoid.

I'm going to love you, Anne Anne do you know what I mean though she would so don't tell her she totally would she totally would do you remember she's never made lasagna for us because

nine years ago I went for tea at yours and you badgered her about when it was going to be made and she's never made it it was one of the worst nights of her life and she's never made las. It was one of the worst nights of her life and she's never made lasagna

for ever since. I don't think she's actually made lasagna. I don't think she has. You traumatised her. Traumatised herself, man. Fucking lighten up. Jesus.

Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Shagged Married Annoyed which is part of the Acast creator network oh okay it's the only thing I can say in Scottish

that was quite good yes thank you so much for listening as always if you'd like to get in touch shaggedmarriedannoyed at gmail.com send me whatever

the hell you like thank you so much for continuing to listen to continuing to support me and for sending all that stuff in so we appreciate it and we'll be back

all inside you filthy little fucking lugs next week. Have a nice week. Bye. Just started that thing and I do it really quick

and professional. Never happens. Love yous. Bye. Bye. Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Jimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder. April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca.

Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th, when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game, and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.