Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 28. Oops!

Episode Date: August 23, 2019

This week on the podcast Chris and Rosie discuss what constitutes a picnic, why it's okay to have the heating on in August, driving instructor tales and advice on getting over an ex. As well as all of this there is not one but six brilliant questions from pop star twins Jedward. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for?

Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th, when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every post-season game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City

at torontorock.com. Hello, you're listening to Shagamire Denied with me, Rosie Ram Ramsey and my husband Christopher Ramsey who is currently scrolling through his little phone looking for a lucrative sponsor because he is ill prepared and he hasn't even got one and we haven't even got a real one. Excuse me, excuse me. What I'm doing is sifting through the literally thousands of offers I've got from big companies. Right?

Huge. They all want a piece of us. Honestly. Do they? Loads of them. Wow. Honestly, they're hanging out. Halfway through, you'll hear the doorbell.

It'll be one of them knocking at the door, just throwing money at us. It's unbelievable. At you? Yeah, for the sponsor. I actually do have a real question. Yeah? We do get a sponsor. Yeah?

Prisby. Yeah? What are we doing? Are we 50-50 in? Sorry, I can't hear you. You're not coming through are we doing are we 50-50 in sorry I can't hear you you're not coming through the mic is it 50-50 yeah we'll just crack on

split halfway so it's episode 28 right down the middle well I do all the reads for the sponsors so probably all just come to me that's ridiculous

but I do you know I do all that we're gonna get separate accounts no no I think it's all just gonna come to me it'll come to me and I'll give you an allowance

oh have I not been giving you allow to come to me. It'll come to me and I'll give you an allowance. Oh, good. Have I not been giving you allowances there? Excuse me? When I got all them sandwiches from sponsors? Excuse me? I gave you that.

Mr. Darcy? No. I mean, Flippin' 22? Have I not been? I've given you a little bit of the internet. I've given you

a little bit of water. Of all the stuff I've got, I've given you it. You're so kind. For all the sponsors. Please, sir, give me more. Not a problem.

Well, look, I'm the one out there, morning till night, grafting like bloody Wall Street. Eh? Getting all these sponsors. If you're going to do it, just hurry up. No, hey, it's episode 28, guys. No, hey, hey, hey, hey, get your A's in. And before we start, obviously, you know,

I hope that hasn't sullied this week's sponsorship, but a word from this week's extremely lucrative sponsor. Stop saying lucrative. This week's sponsor is very lucrative. Lucrative. Luke is out. Luke hot. Not Luke warm.

Luke hot. This week's sponsor is warm and raining at the same time. Hey, you going to run through that rain so you don't get too wet? Better be careful because it's warm as well. Eh? When it's raining, you won't put a jacket on.

Better be a thin jacket because it's bloody warm and raining. The most awkward kind of weather you can get. Hey, put a heating on because it looks cold

because it's raining. It's not. Don't put that heating on. It's warm and raining. Hey, I'll go on come on then hey is that sweat

or rain that's very good thank you you're not getting any sponsor money 50% no no no no

that was afterwards the read was however long we were contracted for for the read it ended just before you said your book. Oh, did it on. Oh, damn.

So there we go. You got it. Are you done? Yeah. Thank God. Here's the jingle. We had a fight about the jingle. Jingle.

We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jingle. So this is the jingle. Jingle. We hope you like the jingle. Jingle, jingle, jingle So this is the jingle, jingle We hope you like the jingle, jingle Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bap Jingle! Well hello and welcome back me bonnie little treacles

Oh God, no, you promised you wouldn't do it Stop it, stop it Sorry Hi everyone Welcome back, thank you for listening. To be fair, I'm not as annoyed that you did that because obviously, guys, yes, we're still watching Outlander. We finished series one last night without any spoilers.

Heavens to Betsy. It's really intense. Heavens to Betsy. That's why I've decided that I'm going to start trying to talk in the Irish accent because I feel like the Scottish is a little bit hard to maintain even though we're very close to the border I can't do it so I thought I'd go but I feel I'm like I likes the Irish accent

and I pissed off a lot of the Scottish so I'm going to do Irish Are you an Irish person who says Scottish in a Scottish accent? That's what we all do We says Geordie in the Geordie accent. Stop. Right. And we say

Scouse in the Scouse's accent. Oh God. And we say 33 trillion tiny breasts. Tiny breasts. Good heavens. You done? No please. Father Ted. Please God be done. Please be done. Hey if you're watching Outlander or anything

like that on Amazon Prime run up to them and switch over my special's on there now as well approval needed there we go it actually is

it is as we go out it is yeah I'm still do you know plodding away yeah

Instagram you got some Instagram loads going on yeah absolutely nothing no it's absolutely fine

what have you been up to well what have we been to well what have we been up to what have we been doing we went um we had a little picnic yesterday at gibbside hall that was nice well you say a picnic i went to the bakers and bought sandwiches and crisps right where did we eat them in the park picnic boom yeah okay yeah yeah yeah what constitutes a picnic when you make it yourself really hold on though this is yeah. What constitutes a picnic? When you make it yourself. Really? Hold on, though. This is interesting. Could it be a picnic if you're eating a pack of crisps on a park bench?

Is that a picnic? Well, there you go. When does it become a picnic? When does it become a picnic? Oh. Well, see, because my... I smell a game show brewing. I would not watch that.

Welcome to... Hey. Welcome to a picnic or lunch on a bench. It's lunch on a bench. And this isn't our theme tune. Hey, Chris. So, say you've got a sandwich with you today. You're sitting on a bench.

I am sitting on a bench, yeah. Or you're just eating your lunch on a bench. Well, actually, if I stand up, you're about to see I'm actually sitting on a blanket. It's a picnic? Are you having a picnic? Yeah. Or are you just eating your lunch on a bench? Well, actually, if I stand up, you're about to see I'm actually sitting on a blanket. It's a picnic! He's having a picnic. All by himself. Next week, scotch egg on a bus stop.

Great. They're not even eating it, they're just throwing it at the bus stop. Did you ever do that thing after you'd been to the cinema at Baldwin and you'd go to you'd go to McDonald's other cinemas are available yeah other cinemas are well you probably wouldn't

because you liked gherkins didn't you did you never do the thing where you'd throw your gherkins onto the bus shelter and see which one slid down first oh was that you well it wasn't just me

were you one of the people who did that yeah I find that really upsetting really I hate stuff like that that's like people who spit it? Yeah. I find that really upsetting. Really? I hate stuff like that. That's like people who spit.

It's stuff watching the spit go down. What? Spit? What are you talking about? Well, like, I've seen people spitting, like, at a wall and have a race of the spit coming down. That's another level. What's that? Have you got no money for a burger?

You do that? Well, I know, but obviously I think that's more disgusting, but still at the same time, you're putting that gherkin on there. It's fresh when you do it. Have a look at that in three weeks. I mean, I'll be honest with you. Rotten. I've sat on one of them before and not realised it. Well, exactly.

So you've contributed to that. Right, look, after this, I'll get the car chair, and I'll go up and I'll go and clean the bus stop, right? Yeah, I hate stuff like that. Actually, that's reminding me. I was driving the other day, and I seen a bloke who worked for the council roll a painting over graffiti. Yeah.

And I thought, you know what, mate? You're wasting your time. Oh, aye. Because they'll be back again to do it. Yeah, yeah. Well, he's also graffiti and he's just doing the graffiti that they want him to do.

What? What are you talking about? Well, when you think about it, well, he's just painting it as well, isn't he? He's doing exactly what they were doing but he's just doing a different shape. But he's doing his job. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He wasn't painting it. He wasn't doing, like, a pattern. He was just painting. How do you work to the council? His tag might be a big block of colour. He had a vest on. He had a vest on. Well, his tag might be a big block of colour.

What colour was it? What was he painting? It was brick. It was brick red. Oh, yeah, brick red. The brick red bandit. I've heard of him. Yeah, I've seen him.

Oh, he did me my shed. Honestly. Calls himself BRB. I thought it was a... Oh, this is Brick Red Bandit. I'll be right back. This is BRB. I'll BRB.

I'm just out there being a BRB. Oh, hey. We've hit another level of drivel really early this week. So sorry. Shit the bed. But anyway, stop hoeing gherkins at Bustoff. I haven't done it for years, have I?

Because I like gherkins now. I had a burger yesterday and you stole me gherkin. I was very upset. Oh, do you like gherkins now? I do like them. I mean, not to your level. I'm not going to buy a jar and keep them in the fridge and eat them every time I get peckish like a lunatic.

Just opening them up and eating them. was actually ming and the other day we had people around and you and a friend of ours rachel every five minutes you and her got up and went and had a pickled onion out of the jar it's the most antisocial thing i've ever seen in my life you literally open the fridge and like miss you want a pickled onion out the jar and she was like she was loving it and we were all sitting around with the kids and you and her were just walking over with your index finger and your thumb and just hooking them out.

Well, I actually said the word, didn't I? Oh, no, hold on. You were about to say what I was going to say, the way you eat them. No, no. Oh, so the way you eat them.

You were like discussing how you eat pickled onions and you were like, oh, I like to put it in my mouth and suck all the layers off one by one like a Malteser. Honestly, I was sick in my mouth. I didn't actually get the explanation of how I usually eat them when no one's there.

Right. What I usually do is I get a little cocktail stick. Well, I get a bowl, put a bit of juice in. You know the pickle juice? Right. Put a bit of juice in. I get about six pickled eggs. Right.

Pickled onions. I love them as well. Pickled onions. Anything in brine, innit? Anything in brine or vinegar, you're horrible. Right, how are we? Carry on. Right. So anyway, I get about six pickled onions. Anything in brine, innit? Anything in brine or vinegary. You're horrible. All right. So anyway, I get about six pickled onions. Depends what kind of night I'm having.

It's been a hard day. Feels like a seven pickled onion night tonight, guys. It's a weekend job, that one. Lock the doors and windows. So, I need pickled onions. I get a cocktail stick. Okay? Are you listening? It's a Monday. I'll just have three. I've got work tomorrow. so I need pickled onions I get a cocktail stick okay are you listening

it's a Monday I'll just have three I got work tomorrow I've got an important meeting it's seven o'clock what were you saying sorry so if you'd let us describe

how I eat my pickled onions I'm so excited about how you if you'd let us describe how I eat my pickled onions are you done yeah I'm done I get a cocktail stick like a posh toothpick

and I stab it loads of times so that the juice goes in the middle and I put it in my mouth and I suck it a bit and I put it back in the juice and I let it get more juice so then I put it back in I suck it again

might take the first layer off and that's why I only need six they'd get more juice. So then I put it back in, I suck it again, might take the first layer off. This is... And then I... That's why I only need six. The last is about 40 minutes. So you... So right, so you get the pickled onion

and you put a load of holes in it. You essentially turn it into a little pickled onion sponge. Yes. And you dip it in the juice and then you put it in your mouth and you suck all the juice out of it and then you put it back in.

And then you put it back in. How did you work out that this is a thing you do it in your mouth and you suck all the juice out of it and then you put it back in. And then you put it back in. How did you work out that this is a thing you do? I don't... I don't know. Right. It's just, Chris, I've been eating pickled onions

for a long time. Don't teach your ma how to suck pickled onions. If you're a new listener to the podcast, go back and listen to the different ridiculous things Rosie does.

The way she eats crisps will blow your mind. We've mentioned it before. But that's another letter. I've been eating pickled onions. I can just imagine you and a woman in the supermarket arguing in the pickled onion aisle and you shouting that.

I've been eating pickled onions for a long time, love, since you were in nappies. Yeah, you slag. So yeah, that's how I eat the pickled onions. How do you eat a cream egg? You're going gonna get upset right I don't really like cream eggs

oh for what how don't you like cream eggs well I don't I've bought you cream eggs before well no I mean

I'll eat them but I wouldn't choose it right so there okay so how would you eat them right okay

I'd bite the top off and I lick it and I suck all the inside out then I eat the chocolate right okay you know that's not that bad I don't lick it and I'd suck all the inside out and then I'd eat the chocolate. Right, okay. You know, that's not that bad, I don't think.

That's not too bad. No, no, no. Yeah, but then other times, if I'm at home, I'll boil it in water. Fuck off. I'll take the top off, I'll stick my toothbrush in and I'll just brush my teeth with the cream. Fuck you, that would be bloody lovely, that, to be fair. It would, I mean, then I'd eat it.

We went out for a little couples curry night the other night didn't we we did indeed we had a lovely time with all our friends yeah it was very very nice

we don't get to go out on full on loads of people like that and we're on like a long Viking table and we missed out some bits of stories which is a little bit

annoying we're like right away from some other friends yeah but I heard I was dying at one of the stories i heard what can you remember the story about our friend on the boat oh billy yeah yeah yeah so i just i

just like i was still laughing about it a couple of days later you know right so we've got friends and they go away to florida um with me mates uh with with billy's girlfriend's mom and dad yeah and they rented some boat and they, they got out to sea, there was this million pound boat, and her dad, Rebecca's dad, was like, look, to the guy, he was like, I'm a skipper as well, I'll look after it. Skipper to skipper, I'll look after the boat.

And within five minutes, our friend Billy, who is, let's be honest, he's a fuckwit anyway, God love him, they said, when they got out to sea, they said, tie the anchor and throw it overboard, and he just threw the anchor overboard and didn't tie it.

So he just basically threw an anchor and just like, what's all this clutter? Hide it overboard. And then, he's got a drone. He does like,

he's called above the action. Check him out. He does like things in the Northeast, does wens and stuff. And he turned his drone on in the back of the sofa and cut all of the leather seats on a brand new boat.

Just sliced all the leather seats to pieces. Still together? They are still together. That would be crazy. If that was me and your dad, your dad would have thrown me overboard if I'd have done that. Probably, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But what I wanted to talk about for that night is we ended up out on a night out, didn't we? We did. And we got key ring photos of our night out. Oh my God. I found that yesterday in my bag. And we were the only people in the whole place who got key.

They couldn't believe it when we got them. They were like, turn the printer on. Some fucking idiots have bought them. They asked for it about 70 times. Unbelievable. And I was like, no. And then by the end I was so hammered

I was like, let's get key rings. But that was the thing, it was the same person. So the same, we went for a curry then we went to a pub and we're just sitting

in the pub, there was music on quietly, we're just sitting chatting and it was a lovely night. But they kept coming around going, do you just want a photo and a key ring?

And we're going, no. Who gets them? We're sitting having a drink after a curry, who would do that? That's ridiculous. Literally an hour later, five drinks later,

Keevans! You've got one of them, like, you've got one of them hula hula. A Hawaiian thing. Hawaiian things on. Yeah. On your neck. Yeah. It was edgy on a night out now.

I think it's edgy. I don't know if it was because I was full of curry or not. No, it was very edgy. Thursday night. It's just not the same, Chris. Nobody goes out really anymore. I didn't know anyone. I felt old. People were in shorts with tattoos on their legs. Tracksuit tops. One man was in

flip-flops, shorts, a t-shirt and a big sort of no-face body warmer with no arms. Wasn't even a nice day. Make your mind up. Are you cold or hot? Alright, okay. Which one is it? Do you know what I mean? I've got to say, I've got a real fucking issue with that. People who wear shorts all the time just to show off their tattoos on their legs.

Put some trousers on. You see them. But some blokes do that, and some women actually. And they haven't got tattoos. Some people just wear shorts all year round. My tour manager wears shorts constantly. And it fucking annoys us. I don't know why.

I'm like, put your legs away. Does he get really sweaty balls? Well, he doesn't have his balls hanging out like chaps. No, but at least there'll be a bit of air going to them. Do you reckon that's what it is? Do you know what? I never really thought about it much until you just said it,

but yeah, probably. Were you watching the UFC with me once? I do not. What, no? No, but I just... Don't talk about... Oh, this is podcast time. This is not ball cozy with UFC time.

Please don't. Listen, you will enjoy this. There was a UFC fighter called Derek Lewis and he was fighting, right? And he'd won the fight and just before Joe Rogan came in to interview him, he was standing in the middle of the octagon and he just took his shorts off.

So he just had like his cup thing and his underpants on and Joe Rogan came up on live telly with a microphone and went, Derek, why have you took your shorts off? And he just went, my balls was hot. And Joe Rugen went, I understand. Is it a thing that, does that happen? I just went, my balls was hot.

And he just went, I understand. And then just left it at that. Maybe he was trying to have a baby. You gotta keep them cool. You gotta keep them cool. No hot bats. No hot bats. Not a lot of running. Hot bats, got my hot bats. Keep them cool. Keep them cool. No hot baths. No hot baths. Not a lot of running. What is he talking about?

Hot baths. Got my hot baths. I would like a hot bath. Hey. So before we go any further, just a tiny little shameless plug that my 2020 tour is still on sale. The 2020 stand-up tour. Selling like a morpho, may I add.

Selling like a morpho. I always want to put on Twitter and Instagram how well it's selling, but you just seem like a bit of a dick. But on here, you know what I mean? I can say it a little bit better. It's craziness. Get your dick out. Get your dick on. Selling really well.

Do you know what I mean? Get your dick on. I've bought seven solvers. Stop buying solvers. That's just from one night. You bought a chair. A chair arrived the other day. Possibly.

That I had no clue had been purchased. Can I just say that the bloke that came in I'm not lying the bloke guys this is how I live right the bloke's knocked the door the massive box

I went to you what's this this man with a box he went oh it's a chair I've ordered I went really a chair the guy went where's this going mate

I went I didn't know yeah well you know what I haven't got a clue your wench is earning money now mate you're a professional podcaster now exactly shut that shit up I went, I didn't know. Yeah, well, you know what? I haven't got a clue. Your wench is earning money now, mate. You're a professional podcaster now. Exactly. So chrisramseycomedy.com slash gigs,

my full tour is on sale. Thank you so much to everyone so far. And I know it's a lot of podcast listeners who bought tickets. I really appreciate it. And I'll see you out on tour in the new year. And also thank you for all your messages, but I will not, I'll not be there. Yeah, Rosie's not coming.

Everyone, you seem to think that I'm coming to every gig. They're like, hope to see you there. I'm like, what? In Leicester? On a Tuesday? People say it as a night out, not just a job. It's like, you know, people listening, does your partner go to work with you all the time?

And to be fair, Rosie, you do not want to hang around backstage for five hours with me and Carl Hutchinson. It's very boring. It's really boring. Although there was that one lovely time a few years ago. Oh, the lovely time. The lovely time. Are we talking about the lovely time?

The lovely time that me and Carl had. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Have I mentioned this on here? I don't know. I might have done, you know. The lovely time.

Do you want to explain the lovely time? There was one lovely time when Chris was doing a gig and Carl, his support act, who I actually went to school with. Yeah, you've known him longer than me. Played my brother in the play, The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe.

I can't say it, but fair enough. He did. Just bad casting is all I'm saying. Chris was Why? Because we look nothing alike? He's like six foot four and you're like two foot one. Sizest. So Chris was on stage. Carl had been on stage and I was sat there backstage and I was like, I'm really bored. I'm a bit hungry.

He was like, shall we go for a meal? And I said, there's a Prezzo around the corner. Went to Prezzo. Had a little treat of Italians and a bottle of wine. Yeah. While I was on stage not feeling well, I finished my gig. I ran off stage. I vomited backstage quite violently.

I walked around looking for you. I sat there feeling sick and needing someone to speak to. You turned up half an hour later drunk stinking of garlic they pay you so that was nice well I'm quite glad I wasn't there because I don't really

like watching people be sick that's what I I need an audience for everything when I'm on tour selfish I'm literally like

everyone I'm gonna be sick quick oh yeah I forgot to mention in that as well when everyone's saying Rosie are you going

with Chris on tour I'm not going because Chris is an absolute dick when he's on tour as well so that's another reason yeah I'm not going because Chris is an absolute dick when he's on tour as well. So that's another reason. Yeah.

I'm not an absolute dick. You are an absolute, complete, and utter dick. Now I come back and you tell us I'm too at Chris. I'm too at Chris. You're horrible. It's because,

do you know why? I'll tell you exactly why it is. It's because we live by literally my timetable on tour. So the whole thing is set up by exactly what I'm doing. So it's like, when I wake up, I know exactly what we're doing and it's all geared towards the show at night and then getting to bed after the show.

And then, you know, when you turn up and go, can we go to an antique fair around the corner? No, we fucking can't get in the van. Never, never, ever said that. Yeah, but is that the kind of thing you would say? But you just said... Is it the kind of thing you would say? No, I've never said that in my life. Is it the kind of thing you would say but you just said is it the kind of thing you would say

no I've never said that in my life is it the kind of thing you would say no if we got out of the hotel and we had half an hour to spare and we needed food

but there was an antique furniture fair next door would you want to go to it what kind of food fair enough I'd always choose the food Wagamamas Fair enough. I'd always choose the food. Wagamamas.

Yes. Good. Prick. It's time for Watch Your Beef. Watch Your Beef. Watch Your Beef. Watch Your Beef. What's your beef?

What is your beef? Watch Your Beef. Shouldn't be so irritating. Tell you what, I'll see you in court. Wonderful. There we go. As always, my darling, wife of mine, light of my life. I think you should go first this week.

Okay, then. My beef with you. That lasted long, didn't it? My beef with you this week, Rosemary, and it's been going on for a while, right? And I'm sick of it. It's been going on for a while, right? And I'm sick of it. My beef with you this week is you have no concept

and cannot differentiate between the colours of the three different credit cards in my wallet. They're all purple! They're not all purple. They're all purple. They're not all purple they're not all purple

you will open my card to pay for something and you'll be like you'll be sitting booking some train tickets or booking a flight or whatever and you'll go

and I'll go yeah use my card yeah and one one you should know by now which one's personal and which one's business

you should just know oh what's the other one you should just know the other one's a credit card that we'll only use when we're checking into a dodgy hotel right

if we're checking into a hotel where I think I'm not going to let you take money off, I'll use the little credit card thing. But I don't like using credit cards. So I've got a debit card for business and I've got a debit card for personal. And oh my God, one is purple and one is red. There's a difference.

They are all slightly different shades of purple. Chris, I will fight you about this. They're not. I swear. I go, what is it for this? Buying Robyn's such and such something for Robyn. Oh, purple one. And I'll just hear, this one. The one that says

this. It's the one that is the colour purple and the other one is red. Chris, I can't believe you brought this up because this is this is ridiculous they are all purple one one is a really purple like the if you think of purple that's the colour right the other one is a slightly just i don't know like a lighter of that colour and then the other one it's not red that is not red okay then Simon Sam's van is red

that is not red what a reference okay let's interrupt you so what you've just said there let's extrapolate here what you've just said there is one of them is purple don't use your big words

to patronise me you're saying one of them is purple one of them is what you would think of when you see the colour purple yes yeah good

so if I say the purple one that one if I say a different colour the other one what different colour are you going to use red because it's red

well can we just why have you never had this conversation with us before why do you always just go the purple one and I'll go

they're both purple and you'll go you've just admitted you've just admitted that you think one of them is exactly what you would

class as purple you've just admitted that on the podcast I'll rewind I'll play it back to you no it's not you've just said it's not you've said the other one is a slightly different one I'll play it back to you that one's purple as well no it's not you've just said it's not

you've said the other one is a slightly different one so when I say purple the one you think is purple is the one to use I didn't think this one would get so angry you just put them

in different parts I've only got I've got one I've got one card right yeah alright okay here's me that beef

you need to go and get another card by the way I've been telling you to do for a couple of months wait are we just can we stop now Right. That's it. Just one. All right, okay. Here's me with that beef. You need to go and get another card, by the way. I've been telling you to do for a couple of months. Right, right. Are we just... Can we stop now? No, I'm on a roll here. Is this enough?

Where's my file of facts? This is enough. Right, fair enough. Purple and red. It's not red. But I will say it's red. It's red. It's definitely not red.

Do you want us to label them? We've got a little sticker machine. I'll label them for you. Yes! Yeah? Our little sticker. I'll say one will be the one with... We'll do PJ masks. The red one can have Owlette on, and the purple one can have Cat for you. Yes. Yeah. Or a little sticker. And say one will be the one with do PJ masks.

The red one can have Owlette on and the purple one can have Catboy on. He's blue. Oh so you do know colours? Oh fuck off. Okay.

What shall be for me? My beef this week is that you have got three different kind of bank colours. It's not.

It could be, but it's not. I hadn't even thought about that. My Beef With You, Christopher Ramsey, this week. No middle name that I know of. That you know of. Have you got a middle name? No. You haven't?

No. Middle names are for people whose other two names aren't good enough. I agree. Yeah. My beef with you this week is, you will not let me put and leave the heating on. It's freezing. Currently, the north of England is really cold.

I know it's Augustust right but it's freezing this morning i put the heating on this morning i put the heating on really low because there was clothes in the utility room that needed to dry that you need to take away with you tomorrow i i've never seen you run so fast back to the thermostat to turn it down no discussion i can't i've got no i haven't got i like to stand on here i'm not even gonna argue but you ran you ran i ran right and then i thought what am i doing why have i done this i don't know like so guys just to set the scene here, we've got a utility room

where we dry the clothes in. And the radiator in the utility room is on a separate thing. It basically runs, if the hot water's on, that radiator will be on. So you were like, I've turned the heating on

to dry those clothes in the utility room. And I was like, but that radiator has standalone. And I was like, if you turned the whole heating on and you went, yeah. But I find that that... That comes on a bit more when the heating's standalone. And I was like, have you turned the whole heating on? And you went, yeah. But I find that that... That comes on a bit more when the heating's on.

I'm really cold. Oh, yeah. Put some slippers on. To me bones. You're cold to your bones. Well, why are you wearing a jumper that exposes your shoulders? Why don't I've got a jacket on?

Because I'm a slag. Well, there's your choices. You can either cover up or you can be a cold slag there's your choices cold slag for life but it was the other day when I had it on do you remember

when I had it on the other day and you so dramatic you literally like opened all of the windows and doors you were like I'm going gonna be sick it's so hard i was like absolutely not stood in the garden when we top off i did didn't i you were like your tea's ready i was like i can't it's not till we talk about running in the garden no yeah i need i've got i don't know i think head, I'm like, I'm turning into a proper dad.

You are. I'm turning into a proper dad and husband. I'm like, it's bloody August. Get two pairs of socks on. It's bloody sunny outside. It's warm and raining outside. You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway,

the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway Thank you. unnerving piece. Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So,

who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca That's sunrisechallenge.ca Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre

in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. It's time for Questions from the Public. That's minging. As always guys,

if you want to get in touch, it is shaggedmoudenoid at gmail.com. Send us anything you like. Send us your opinions on stuff. Send us if you want to settle a little debate. If you just want to know something,

little dilemmas, whatever you want. shaggedmoudenoid at gmail.com. Again, we can't reply to all of them, but please keep them coming in. Some of them are absolutely fantastic. And obviously, like, rate and subscribe

to the podcast on your little podcast shops. Podcast. Podcast. Okay. I want to start off with something really lighthearted here. Great.

Nice way to get into the questions from the public. Okay, fantastic. Hi, Chris and Rosie. I'm currently listening to your podcast Sat on the Bench where my ex-boyfriend broke up with me 24 hours ago.

Shit the bed. Oh my God. Did you actually think it was going to be lightheartedhearted i thought it was going to be really stupid like i thought i thought it was gonna be really silly like so silly that you had to flag it up sorry about jesus i'm correct wow who said this adele right now next next album jesus hello goodness my no you're thinking hello from the other side but you did hello by land richie but writing the next album. Jesus. Hello.

Goodness me. No, you're thinking hello from the other side, but you did Hello by Lana Richie, but still great songs. Carry on. She's a singer, everyone. Hello from the other side. So yeah,

I'm currently sat on the bench where my ex-boyfriend broke up with me 24 hours ago, trying to quickly replace some bad memories with laughter. That's good. Okay, that's interesting. She's listening to our podcast. It's her bench though, isn't it?

She's not still at his house because she should probably fuck off. No, she's sat on the bench. She might be having a picnic. Scotch egg in a bus stop, picnic. Is it a picnic or food on a bench? Hey! She's very quickly changed the language, though. Okay.

She said, sat on the bench where my ex-boyfriend broke up with me 24 hours ago. Yeah, rather than boyfriend broke up with me. What's happened is, she had a boyfriend, sat on a bench, he broke up with her, she's gone back the next day sitting on the bench, listening to our podcast, trying to have a laugh. Sorry, that's genius. Is it? Yeah, so what she's doing is, well, it might be a nice place, right?

So what she's trying to do is she's trying to replace the bad memories with laughter. If that's an actual therapy sort of thing... That's good, isn't it? That's a really good idea. So somewhere that's been, where you've had a horrible experience, go back there.

I don't know if I've completely got the wrong idea, but that's a really nice idea. I think you might have just solved like depression situational depression you never know when you go somewhere

and you go I've got a terrible memory that's honestly go and have a laugh I've done a similar thing before what? where the doctor's surgery where I got circumcised I went back and had a game of Twister

I don't get it Twister? it's just a joke. Like, you know, somewhere where something horrible happened, you get circumcised. You know, just go back and just... Oh, right, so you did Twister at your year old.

I thought Twister had something to do with being circumcised. No, no, just go back. Oh, that would be fucking... Yeah. I was like, what? Which bit we're cutting off? Red bit! God, I tried one of me dad jokes and it failed on you.

Sorry. You're just used to better than that. That happens. Oh, great. Well, I tried one of my dad jokes and it failed on you. Sorry. I'm just used to better than that. That happens. Oh, great. Well, it's because I'm not a mummy. How old were you when you got circumcised? Yeah, it was a couple of days ago. You don't know us.

What are you talking about? No, it was just getting a bit hot. You had the heat on all the time so I had to take the... Take your polo neck off. I had to take my jumper off. Because I know that I wear shorts. I thought, fuck, I'm not wearing shorts. Is that a way short? I thought, fuck, I'm not wearing shorts.

There was a question attached to this. Oh, no, just kidding. It's not going to happen. We've peaked on this one. Do you want to bother? No, I'm joking, aren't we? So my question is, have either of you done anything weird to try and get over someone? Preferred you keep it anonymous just in case my ex is, have either of you done anything weird to try and get over someone?

Preferred you keep it anonymous just in case my ex is listening. Have you done anything weird to get over someone? Have I done anything weird to get over someone? No, I don't think I have. No? No, I've only been broke up with once. I think.

Yeah, I've only been broke up with once. Yeah, you've only really had like two relationships. Yeah, but the person I was broke up with, we were going out a couple of weeks. So you've never done anything weird? I don't think I have. Not really, I've never... Have you ever done anything weird to get over somebody else?

No. Just gotten under somebody else? Just gotten under someone else, yeah. Just gone out on the piss. Yeah, just go out on the piss or go out on the pull or whatever. But I've got to say I think this lady who's emailing here it's a

much healthier way of getting over it it really is I hope we're helped I hope we're helped yeah me too

enjoy that bench take your next boyfriend on that bench yeah that'll be good yeah send a photo

no no I got too far hey if that bench if it's in a bus stop and there's a big bit of glass behind you get Yeah. Send a photo. No, no. I got too far. Hey, if that bench, if it's in a bus stop, and there's a big bit of glass behind you, get yourself a burger, take your new boyfriend there, throw some gherkins on the window,

have a little gherkin race. Fun for all the family. Horrific. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hello. This is another question, sorry. Here we go. Hello. I'm loving your podcast.

I have a question for you both, but first let me explain my story please do not read at night time as this is terrifying oh goodness me oh my gosh oh sorry i've just remembered what i had a dream about the clown from it last night did you i've never seen it but i saw on james mcnavoy's instagram i saw a new clip he's in it he's in it because he plays one of the older guys and it's that lad from Saturday Night Live

with the dark hair the white guy with the dark hair he's in it as well and there's a clip of him at a fair and he's looking up and Pennywise

the clown's coming down on all of these balloons and James McAvoy's like running towards his mate and I don't know why I popped my head and I had these dreams about the clown last night

and they were proper terrifying I woke up and I was like really scared. And then I look, I haven't even told you this. I looked at my, why have I not told you this? I looked at my phone this morning. What is happening? I had a text this morning on my phone. Do you know who the text was from?

George Clark from Amazing Spaces. Saying what? Let's read the text. This is genuinely true, right? George Clark said, you were in my dream last night. Don't ask. Then he sent us a photo of me two are dating, said I'm booking some tickets,

which is lovely. Cheers, George. Big love. Then I got a text off Jason Cook saying, are you alive? And I said, yeah, why would I not be? And he said, I had a dream that you died. I was just checking you were alive.

So I had a dream about scary killer clowns. And then George Clark, I telepathically connected to George Clark because I was so scared in my dream. And then Jason thought I was dying. What's happening? Are you all right? I think I'm Jesus.

Are you okay? I think I'm Jesus. You're absolutely not Jesus. I might be. What's that got to do with anything? I just remembered it. Carry on with your question. That's so weird.

It's just because I saw you said that. It was scary. I don't like stuff like this. Yeah. Robin's a bit creepy like that. Do you remember what he said the other day? This was weird, actually, what he said the other day. Yeah.

So you... This is going to make me sound terrible, but genuinely, Rosie's asked for a steamer for her birthday. I really... So please, can I just put it out there? When you see her saying, I've got a steamer for my birthday, don't be messaging me calling us a chauvinist pig.

She's asked for it, right? Because they're bloody expensive. So I'm going to get her a top of the range steamer. Like an iron that you stand. I used to work at Dorothy Perkins and we used them on the clothes. So I would like one for my personal use. But you told me that the other day and Robin wasn't even in the house when you told me that.

And then the other day, what did he say? I said to Robin, it's mummy's birthday soon. And I said, are you going to make us a card? Robin replied, I'm going to make us a card Robin replied I'm going to get you an iron amazing

I mean chauvinist pig out of nowhere and I was like you going to get mummy an iron he was like yeah I'm going to get you

a new iron when he said it was he was he pointing at the t-shirt he was wearing when he said it possibly

no he wasn't and it's really creeped us out to be honest i know i'm joking right you can hear the rest of this anyway yes thank you for ruining the question with your personal experiences how dare you personal experiences on my podcast why don't i just sit back and enjoy the the life that my wife's provided exactly i'm glad you're finally getting it flat steamed clothes right Right, here we go. I was once on a driving lesson with a newish instructor. I was driving along trying to concentrate and out of nowhere, with no warning, the driving instructor popped a sweet into my mouth and said,

oops, as he popped it in. Sorry? What? Yep, yep, yep. She was on a driving lesson and she was driving along and the driving instructor i've later found out humbug popped a humbug in her mouth and went oops like that we did not discuss this but i felt so confused me, this is the making of a serial killer, and I have never looked at that same suite in the same manner ever again. A humbug.

Have either of you experienced an experience that makes you question humankind? And then she goes on to say, Was he being kind, or did he steal my DNA? But yes, my breath was not an issue as I had literally just brushed my teeth before the lesson. I can't believe it.

So messed up. I was waiting, right? There was part of me there that was waiting for a really big convoluted punchline in which case I would have said, you know,

is this a daft piss take story? But that's just, that's all that happens. That's it. She's got a new driving instructor. Oh my gosh, your fucking ass!

That's all that happens. That's it. She's got a new driving instructor. Oh, she fucking has. I mean, I wouldn't. I'd be like, can I have any more handbags, sir? If you could, you'd drive with a fucking horse's nose bag on. That's amazing.

Oops. The oops is the weirdest bit. Yeah. But my thing is, right? Have you ever tried to put something in someone's mouth? Like it would hit their teeth. How did she not crash the car? I don't know. She must have opened her mouth for it though.

Jesus. She must have opened her mouth. She'd be like, what the hell is that? That's the maddest thing. I can't get my head around it. It's absolutely beautiful. I knew you'd enjoy that. Just popped it in.

Just finished it. That's so crazy. What would you do though? Would you spit it out? I mean, you know me. I would go, what are you doing? Yeah. What are you doing?

I wouldn't I'd probably just eat it and be like oh thank you have I ever told you about my driving instructor no I never told you about him

what so I had a driving instructor what's happened I'm not going to name him right he was really good to be fair although you say

I'm a terrible driver and this might be why you think I'm a terrible driver he wants locked up so I so I had the driving instructor same driving instructor i had uh me girlfriend at the time yeah uh our friend michael and my friend andrew as well at the time when i went to college we all started getting taught

off the same driving instructor right um but he was buzzing he yeah well i mean i should have got some kind of friends and family scheme going but i didn't get anything cheap. He refused to wear his seatbelt. He would never wear his seatbelt. So it would be beeping almost the whole time round. The little thing would be beeping. That's infuriating. Almost constantly. And I used to go, put your seatbelt on.

And he was like, no, because if we crash and it sets on fire or whatever, the seatbelts are the first thing to jam up and you can't get out of the car. And I'm like, I'm sure that's the opposite of what a seatbelt is is i'm sure it's to stop you from going through the windscreen yeah pretty much yeah but he was like no the jam up and you can't get out of the car so if we're gonna cry i want to jump out straight away i was like right whatever and i'm not joking right say i had i think i must have had about 30 lessons he no word of a lie on easily 10 possibly 15 of those lessons fell asleep no

I swear to god Chris no I swear to god I swear I'm telling you what and I remember me Michael and Andrew

and my girlfriend at the time going like one would just mention it and I was like I think he was asleep and I was like oh my god he falls asleep

all the time this is he would just nod off what he would nod off you can't it be not enough no honestly driving instructor but the thing is though it with the driving instructor right if nothing said go straight ahead you'd end up fucking miles away john reed road roundabout straight over roundabout straight over Lindisfarne roundabout straight over

if nothing's said go straight ahead we got to the bottom of John Reed Road I ended up in Lower Simon I was like where do I go I'm not being funny

oh yeah three point turn here yeah this is this is the best day of my life this answers so many questions

because you are a terrible driver and now it all makes sense now it all makes sense take that back I'm not a terrible driver you just get annoyed at the way I drive sometimes I'm not a terrible driver. And now it all makes sense. Now it all makes sense. Take that back. I'm not a terrible driver.

You just get annoyed at the way I drive sometimes. I'm not a terrible driver. Take that back. Take that back now. No, I won't. Oh my God. I'll take nothing back.

Oh my God. Because your driving instructor used to fall asleep and now it's clear. It's clear. It's clear. It finally makes sense. Everything makes sense.

Oh. Do you know what it is? I mean. The thing is though, I wish he did pop humbugs in my mouth because I'd have known he'd been asleep because I'd have

I don't know I've sucked this humbug dry in this you're not back you're not back off I've run out of humbugs sorry Chris oops

oh I've just I've got some sweets in my car I might go get them come have a little break oh you're kidding us no you're not having you're not sucking sweets on the podcast

that'll sound disgusting it's not sucky ones they're just them like the bottles the blue and pink bottles the fizzy bottles go and get them no you gave robin one yesterday his face was amazing his face was amazing oh bless him you never had one before eddie never had anything fizzy if you're listening just try and picture them they're kind of like they're like cola bottles but the shape

of cola bottles a little bit longer but they're the pink and the blue ones i don't know what the name is for them they're the really sour one half pink half blue yeah yeah like bubble gum and we gave one to rob we were eating them yesterday in the car and Rob was in the back and he was like, Mummy, what are you eating? What's that? Have one. And you gave him one at his face. I don't like that. I genuinely nearly crashed the car when I laughed at him doing that.

Oh, it doesn't take much. Can I also tell you about my mate from school who used to for his dinner, used to eat 150 of them. That's all he ate. Stop it, please. Tell everyone, because this is beautiful.

So the things I've just talked about, so my mate, I wasn't a great eater when I was a kid, but he was even worse, and he used to get £1.50 off his mum for his dinner, and he used to go to the tuck shop, the school tuck shop at Horton School,

and he used to get 150 of those sour. Who's selling in them? I'll be honest with you. The first couple of times he bought it, the lady who saw them was like, what, like 150, what? And he was like, yes. And remember, he was going,

he was like, yes, 150. And she was like, yeah, can I? And it was like, and she would just get them out of the big jar. And every single day, he would get 150 of them for his dinner. That's shocking. For his dinner?

For his lunch. 150 sugary, sour chews. I'm surprised he's got any taste buds left. 150 of them for his dinner that's shocking for his dinner for his lunch 150 sugary sour chews I'm surprised he's got any taste buds left 150

go to Evans rather have a humbug fed to us by a amorous driving instructor oops babadoo babadoo babadoo

another question here hi Rosie and Chris hi what are your thoughts on drinking a cup of coffee whilst doing a number two? There's more. My other half thinks it's gross, but I just think it's necessary multitasking.

Might I add, this is a relatively new habit of mine since having a baby. Might I add, this is a relatively new habit of mine since having a baby. He's eight months now and the only way I can be guaranteed a hot drink without baby hands trying to punch it out of my hands is to take it to the bathroom. So I'm asking, in your opinions, clever mum hack or just a bit grubby? Anonymous. I can't say I've ever had... I've never had any sort of drink

or food on the toilet have you? right the reason I'm laughing so much is because everyone listening probably is going to expect me to be like you dirty sod do you do this? now and then Rosie no listen now and then I take a cup of tea into the toilet

and it's a bloody lovely treat I'm telling you it's a lovely treat you don't sit on your phone you, it's a lovely treat. You don't sit on your phone. You just sit there. You've got your little cup of tea. While you're having a poo? Yeah.

Sometimes it's a lovely little treat. It really is. And I knew she was going to say she had kids because it's a proper, it's a little getaway. It's honestly, it's like a little holiday. Well,

why am I not doing this? Get yourself away. Go for it, man. Why are you stealing all the poo and the tea and the nuts? Why am I stealing all of the... There go for it man why are you stealing all the poo and the tea and the nuts why am I stealing all of the

there's a quarter yeah you're not allowed anymore I was thinking of this today I'm currently at time of record I'm avoiding

the UFC results because I'm going to watch them on the train when I go down to do some strictly stuff this week

thanks for that just in case you didn't know what strictly was Alexa no shit to do some strictly stuff this week. Thanks for that, just in case you didn't know what strictly was. Alexa! No, no. Jesus. Yeah, I thought of this today, so I couldn't go on my phone when I went number two because I'm avoiding all UFC results,

so I just sat there. And then I thought I should have brought a book. And then I thought, I should have brought a book. And then I thought, do you ever go to someone's house and they've got like a full shelf of books in their toilet? Oh, yeah. Like a fucking library.

I find that a bit rank. Well, I just think, how long are you shitting for? Well, I know I've got a couple of mates who've got that and they're always really wanky books. And I'm like, you're not reading that book. you've just put that stupid book there to look to make yourself look cool so

many books in the it's just ridiculous i mean i hate to get down to the the nitty gritties but i'm a bish bash bosh i'm not on there long enough to read any worryingly quick how fast you go to the toilet i've told you frighteningly quick just fast you go to the toilet. I've told you. Frighteningly quick. Just craziness. Go to the toilet, done, you're back in the room. Yeah. It's madness. Because I've got really good bowels and I just know my body.

You couldn't take a cup of tea, it would be pointless. You couldn't take a cup of coffee. All you'd be doing is carrying a hot drink into the bathroom and then straight back out. Well, all I'd be doing is just sitting on top of me shirt having a cup of coffee. Nesting. Fermenting. Oh, stop.

Stop. Be able to stop. No, no, no. Coffee tastes weird. No. No. Evidently, a person who emailed in there,

if you're going to flush the toilet while you're still in there close the lid because all of the stuff goes in the air and it'll go in your coffee it's invisible but it covers your whole bathroom

yeah well I'll brush my teeth with it yeah that and the inside of a cream egg bye tickets for his two eyes funny it's time for this week's celebrity question woohoo

now we have put out and asked a lot of celebrities that we know so we've got a few saved up in the back it's absolutely warranted this is very exciting I asked a couple of lads who I've worked with a few times who are genuinely lovely and hilarious Jedward

I bloody love Jedward. I asked Jedward if they wanted to do a question for the podcast. One, two, three, four, five. They've said six. They've said six. They've just said six. If you are listening in a country

that is not the United Kingdom or Ireland, then Jedward, how would you describe Jedward? The one on one of our talent shows. What was it? Was it X Factor? I think the one on X Factor. The one on X Factor.

Yeah. And they're twins. Yeah. Boys. Lads. John and Edward. Yeah. How old are they now?

They're like... I think they're 50 something now. No, they're 20s. No, they're... Yeah, they must be late 20s. They're just really fun and full of life. Yeah. And hilariously funny.

Just play all of the messages, how you got them, to your phone, one after the other. Please. Rosie and Chris, out of all the Spice Girls, which Spice Girl would you be and why? Rosie, you're definitely an amazing singer. What was it like dueting with the one and only egg sharing rosie and chris if we came over for dinner what would you be serving up to the table what would be cooking in that oven oh yeah i want to know rosie and chris how do you guys keep things interesting and spontaneous in your life whether it's spicing things up or just going out and about doing your thing.

Rosie and Chris, your wedding looked like a fairy tale. If you could go back in time to that very day, would you let us plan the wedding? And what do you think it'd be like? Rosie, how did you know that Chris was was the one for you was it his amazing comedian skills and he's a funny guy or was it his handsome good looks with that beard or is there more to chris that the public don't know that you see behind closed doors let us know rosie we'd love to hear like take is he a talented dancer maybe he's got skills that he's yet to reveal

a couple of tricks up his sleeve let us know Rosie fucking amazing what would be in that oven

and why cooking up they're fantastic oh yeah just six guys can you do one question we'll do six do you know what they were cracking Looking up. They're fantastic. Oh, yeah. Just... Yes, genuine. Six. Guys, can you do one question? We'll do six.

Do you know what? They were cracking questions. Actually really good questions. They have... None of them have been answered before. Freaking amazing. And that was before Strictly was announced. That might be a little...

A little omen, that. Is he a really good dancer? Has he got something hidden up his sleeve? You never know. They knew. They might have just called it. Oh, my God. Do they own the BBC?

They might well have somehow they've seen my wedding don't know how that happened I know your wedding looked amazing we were in the bushes when they said Rosie

I really felt like they were like looking into my soul they're amazing they're so fun man so fun are we answering any or

oh god I just feel like listening to it was just enough is that just me oh god is it worth answering any

would you let's the wedding one would you let them plan the wedding absolutely not would you

let Jed plan your wedding imagine I'm telling you right now any producers listening that's a TV show right there Jedward plan your wedding imagine I'm telling you right now any producers listening that's a TV show right there

Jedward plan your wedding forget this don't tell the bride just get Jedward to plan everyone's wedding really is but just give them subtle hints

just be can you remember when they were on Celebrity Big Brother Man and they went to do the weekly shop and they got like fucking 400 bananas

or something can you remember they literally got two shopping trolleys full of bananas. Like, we got the bananas and everyone was like, why have you done that? I love them so much. Do you know what?

I wouldn't let them plan my wedding, but I'd have like a secret wedding and then I'd have like a Jedward wedding. Listen, I'm seeing this right now on record, right? If we ever renew our vows, I'm letting Jedward plan it. Yeah, I'm up for that. Let's do it. it would be great fun once again

thank you so so much for listening we will be back next week with another instalment of Shag Maronoy yeah thank you very much guys absolute pleasure as always

if you want to get in touch it is shagmaronoy at gmail.com my two hours on sale at chrisfamzycomedy.com slash gigs and my special approval needed

is on Amazon Prime now it is indeed and I'll be tiptoeing and dancing all over your tellies very soon getting his dick out

on the BBC definitely not getting me dick out that's libelous gotta get them folks not allowed to do that that's not what the no that's not what the

licence fee goes towards people getting their todgers out while they're dancing right you keep bringing this up and I'm not getting my todger out

although to be fair I did try on some dancing pants and they were so tight you can basically see everything anyway so excited perfect Do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th

when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.