Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 282. Would Rosie Eat...

Episode Date: August 16, 2024

It's still summer in the North East and the Ramsey's discuss optimal temperatures and Rosie has some stories from Rhodes which leads to a very sweaty hypothetical scenario from Chris.The Lucrative Sponsor launches a discussion about music in restaurants and the pair discuss how much fun Rosie and Kate had playing cafe's and restaurants. Beefs are buttery and Chris can't leave the garden toys out... there's also a sub beef! Some brilliant QFTP's plus is there a new segment on the podcast? Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers' internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you, Rogers. fiery rivalry, a nemesis with benefits, a race to get to the bottom but stay on top. Here Canada's own best-selling romance author, Lily Chu's newest audible original, Drop Dead, starring Hamilton breakout star Phillip Assu paired with versatile funnyman John Cho of Star Trek and Harold and Kumar fame. Filled with huge laughs, big twists and sizzling

banter throughout, Chu's latest must-listen, once again set in her beloved Toronto, weaves together a scandalous mystery and a slow-burned romance to heart-pounding effect. Unravel the secrets and watch the sparks fly as fellow fearless reporters Nadine and Wes embark on a fast-paced adventure, chasing down the truth and stumbling upon something far deeper than either could have imagined.

From the queen of swoon-worthy moments herself, Lily Chu's hilarious and delightfully lustful Drop Dead should not be missed. Listen now, go to audible.ca slash drop dead on Audible. Hello, you're listening to Shag Mound Annoyed with me, Rosie Ramsey and my husband, Christopher Ramsey. Hello, hello, hello. Only three weeks left of the summer holidays.

And we are getting a bit of a summer. I don't wanna sound like everyone in Britain who speaks, but you know what, we have, it's been nice. We are on our way to London today to do a little bit of work and it's gonna be bloody 30 degrees. Did you know that? Hang on, let's have another look. Genuinely dreading it.

So people who listen to the podcast regularly will know that this is the time of year that I whinge about being far too hot in the studio. It's 32 degrees. God, oh, bastard. Shine a light of year that I whinge about being far too hot in the studio. Eee it's got 32 degrees? God oh bastard me. Shiner light! It's gonna be nice. Oh god look at that. I shouldn't whinge! Look how nice they get it all week. So Rosie's currently holding up the weather app. I tell you what I'm gonna quickly open the south shields weather app. You don't know you're born do you know that? I swear to god. Don't know you're born. It's flipping freezing here. Are we literally the highest we're gonna get next week is 21.

Fucking 21. Honestly, at this- Wouldn't get out of bed for 21 degrees. At the risk of sounding like a proper northerner, I'm happy for 21. When I've got to go about, I've said it before, when I've got to go about my daily business, when I've got to do my job, when I've got a parent,

when I've got to get the shopping in and be life. Like live. Yeah. Like you get me any higher than 21, 25 in England, I'm sitting on my arse in the garden with a beer and that is not a long term plan for life. No I know. I know I do. Listen, when I worked in Rhodes, slash lived in. Sorry. You worked in Rhodes? When I lived there, Chris, honestly, I was just sick of it. It was just too much. I was like, I'm not past'd work and it's violent.

And I didn't enjoy talking to people who were on holiday. Oh, I can't forget this conversation. I was once around the pool bar and I'd just done the bingo, right? During the day. And I was talking to a bloke. Sorry. If anyone ever just thinks like, if anyone ever just thinks, oh yeah, them showbiz, you know, like I was around the poo bar in Rhodes

where I worked there and I'd just done the bingo. Yeah, yeah. I talked Salsai earlier that morning to the same five people, it was glorious. The dip, not the dance. Oh yeah. Although we did do a cooking class. Oh really?

I didn't, the chef did it, but I was at host a bit. Was this a hotel or a retirement village? It was a hotel, it was did do a cooking class. Oh really? Adding me, the chef did it but I was at host a bit. Was this a hotel or a retirement village? It was a hotel, it was an adults only hotel. Yeah, I wanna go, it's bloody, I'll give them a shout out, it's one of the nicest hotels I've ever stayed in my entire life. It's called the Atlantica Imperial in Rhodes, and it's just all the Atlantica hotels are stunning. So there you go, tip from me.

Unbelievable, apologies to everyone who's got a smart plus and a cast plus who pays for no ads but just got just got advertised to. Sorry about that. Honestly. So I always remember I was talking to this bloke around this pool bar and he was just dripping a sweat he was literally rolling off his nose and he was just chatting and I was like I can't bear this is horrible one of the worst conversations I've ever had in my life. And it was just dripping and dripping and dripping. And I'm thinking, are you gonna wipe your face? It was that hot, it was so hot.

So congealed cream in the belly button is one of the worst things in the world. I know, I know. One of the worst things in the world. Yeah. Here we go, all right then. Right. So you're back in Rhodes.

All right, okay. You're back in Rhodes. I've got that, so it's that bloke. I don't, because I was. So you're back in Rhodes. All right, okay. You're back in Rhodes. I've got that, so it's that bloke. I don't, because I was so carefree then, like literally. No, it's that bloke. I would go to bed at five and I'd get up to teach Southland nine, like it was just crazy, crazy life. That's awful.

Just it's that bloke. It's that bloke. He's got 19 twin brothers, so there's 20 of them. Jesus. And they're all- I don't think that's possible. Out the same vagina. You're mad. But listen, right, clones, all right clones, it's the same guy, right? It's 20 of them. Jesus. I don't think that's possible. Out the same vagina. You're mad. Clones. Alright clones. It's the same guy. It's the same guy. It's 20 of them. It's 20 of them in a row. They're all on sun loungers. The sun loungers are like that kind of angle like a 45 degree angle. Yeah. This is not, people can't see your hand.

Well I'm saying 45 degrees so anyone who doesn't, right. A comfortable position for reading a book. Yeah, yeah, they're slightly elevated. Right, okay. Yeah, yeah. They're all in a row. Yeah. Right? Mm-hmm. They all are sweating loads.

There's loads of congealed cream and sweat gone in their belly buttons, right? You have to go along that row. Oh, God. And, out of every belly button, you've got to suck up the sweat and the thing and swallow it. Is this? How much? Oh, Jesus Christ! 20 of them. 20 of them. And you've got to go and you've got to like put your mouth around each of the belly buttons. They could be fluffing there as well. It's like the boys, if you haven't seen the boys, it's like the episode that we're watching at

Longo with all of the, when he just turns into loads of different ones of him. Oh yeah, and the role. Oh God, the boys is vile, but it's very good. Um, okay. You have to start. I can't just name your name. Name your price. Start us off. Hang on though. Hang on. Right. Not to be a dick. Is it me now or is it me then? It's you now. You've gone back. He hasn't aged financially because me life has changed. Not to be arrogant, I'm a bit older, I'm doing a bit better. It's me then, right, bear in mind. I was in a lot of debt, right?

You're talking- Okay, the debt's gone. The debt's gone. No, I was living in my overdraft. Right, you're back to zero. You're actually, you're on zero on your bank. I was really, honestly. If I got the minus 10, I was like, I'm rich.

I swear to God. Okay, right. All right, what am I? You've got a pound in your bank. Right, okay, I meant to buy, come on then. It's Tuesday, you're getting paid on Friday for your salsa dips and all that stuff that you do, right? There's 20 of this blow.

Is there a beach party on my day off? What do you mean? That I wanna go to. This is your day off. Oh, okay. This is your prize. Right, start us off. Right?

Right, come on. 500 euros. Honestly? Really? Like, 500 euros, that's a lot of money. So you're the 20 of sweat and cream. No, okay, no, no. But it's a bit like the pop.

No, I would have. Yeah? I would have. There it is. Fuck it. All right, two seconds. Lads, I win! Come Yeah? I would have. There it is. Fuck it. All right, two seconds. Lads, I win.

Come on in, I've got the heating on. Come on in. You got your cream on. Do you know how hard it was to find a guy with 19 brothers? Honestly, I've been up all night planning this. 500 euro, I'd probably be ill. I'd probably catch some sort of illness.

No one's gonna be well after that. No one's gonna be well. Drinking some cream, for one. It is weird, weird you know when we were on holiday and you're just you're walking around basically just in your underpants like just in you know. I feel very uncomfortable. It's strange. I feel very uncomfortable just walking around with me fanny out like I just don't like it. I mean yeah you shouldn't have done that and you know the hotel staff quite rightly told you off for that and you know. You know what I mean though it is just a bit weird isn't it? It is, I don't feel very

comfortable and then you're lying down and you're just like, oh he has all me bits. He has all me bits, he has all me cream, he has me rubbing cream on me self. Anyway we are having a lovely little time, we are going to London later on. You are, it is the summer but you are sitting in a full onesie. You have your watch on the outside of the sleeve of your onesie again, which I can't. I'm right to upset you so much. It's so weird. It's so weird.

I'm tanning. Gotta get the tan on. Well, take your fucking watch off then. You don't need to wear, you've got a full one. I like wearing me, Apple Watch. It's on top of your hoodie. It's so strange. It's not, man, sure.

So strange. Anyway, listen. I'm currently, I'm like, What, what? No, I'm trying not to touch my face because I've been in the toilet. Right. But I don't want to, I didn't fully, I just trying not to touch my face because I've been in the toilet, but I didn't fully wash,

I just washed the tips of my fingers. Oh God, this gets worse and worse and worse. Can't keep the tan on. Got me tan on, so you can't wash your hands. By the way, I've started tanning during the day in my smile onesie, because my bed sheets were just crime scene. So I think, you know, during the day,

I do it about three times before I wash it. Yeah. So your bed sheets look like someone had been making chocolate cornflakes in them. Yeah it's bad times. Horrible, absolutely horrible. Anyway guys thank you so much for being here, thank you so much for listening. Hope you're having a lovely summer wherever you are and however it's going. This is episode 282 and without any further ado it is time for the Lehi-ecrative sponsor. This week's sponsor is... Restaurants with DJs in them. Oh, nah. Fucking pack it in. Nah.

Please stop. This is our restaurant. Do you want to sit near the DJ or away from the DJ? Sorry, I didn't realize that was an actual thing. What do you mean near the DJ? Oh yeah, there's a DJ. He's just over there. Yeah, he's just lashing out tunes. Why? I thought you went to a restaurant to talk. That was the whole point in restaurants, isn't it?

A social event. I don't... Am I old? Yes, probably is the answer. But when I went to Manchester the other week for the UFC and we went to a really nice restaurant and there's a fucking DJ in the corner. And I was like, he was devastated. He was pretty loud. It was pretty loud. It was

louder than normal music would be. But then everyone's sort of sitting there going, oh yes, it's cool as fuck. I'm in a restaurant. It's not cool as fuck. It's not cool as fuck. I can't hear you. You can't hear me. The waiter can't hear me. I can't hear the waiter. Everyone thinks it's a cool idea. It's a bad idea. It's stupid. The DJ is embarrassed. He tells everyone he's unemployed. Imagine being a DJ in a restaurant. Oh, I'm a DJ. Where's your DJ? You can't take the mic out there. I'm just teaching Seltzer to fucking drive people around. Yeah, but seriously, man.

I'm a doorman, where are your doorman? Smith's Toys. Still a doorman. Stop being a dick. Still a job. A job's a job, don't you dare. Do you know what it is though, right? So, yes, I get upset.

I don't like DJs in restaurants. It's time and place. It's not there. But also, do you know what I get really, oh, do you know what really, really gets me going? When you sat in a restaurant or you sat somewhere nice, like a bar, and the music is just totally wrong. What do you mean? Oh, so I've been in like, say, I've been in a restaurant that's like really old school,

sort of Italian, like lovely. Frankie and Benny's? No, no, not Frankie and Benny's Franky and Benny's playlist was actually cracking. I don't have a bad verse that against it. Legendary. Legendary. When the moon hits you right. Perfect, that's what you want.

Like a bigger pizza pie. That's what you want. Classic or something like that. I've been in restaurants where they've got literally just heart radio on. And you're literally, you're having like a lovely meal and it's just adverts and shit. No effects to heart radio, but you do not want to hear,

you do not want to hear an advert while you're eating. No, and it's like just the wrong ambiance. Or if you're in like a cafe and you know that the staff have just put on, we've talked about this before. Their playlist. Their playlist. Yeah, that's good. Bars where they've got like Sky Sports on that.

I'm like, no! No! I think I say everything too much as an event. Yeah, that's because you don't grow out much. I just want to experience it fully. I'm not here slapdash. On my one night out, the wrong music's on and I'll never get this again. Alright, okay, I've got the worst possible music you can have. Oh Jesus. Come on then.

You've walked in, it's a posh, it's a posh, it's got a Michelin star. Oh my gosh. It's got a Michelin star. Alright, well they really need to think. That's part of getting a Michelin star, I think. Is it? Absolutely. All right, well look. Not just the food, it's the ambiance.

This is a restaurant I've invented, right? You've invented it. It's beautiful, old building. It's gorgeous, it's falling apart. Listed. You love it, it's listed. It's a bird. Double listed, there's a bird outside, it's really loud.

Sounds like a baby bird. What the fuck, two seconds. Oh, hang on, Jesus. Birds around here. See how fat the pigeons are. Papa! Oh, what did you do? Oh, what did you do? Oh, I took a bit of an animal. a baby bird. What the fuck? Hang on Jesus. Oh they remember your face as well don't they? With this two crows on the roof eating cannibal crows. That was actually fucking harrowing. Sorry about that everyone. That was harrowing. That wasn't a mouse or something. That was like a... It looked like a squirrel's arm. Might be a squirrel, Jesus Christ.

Hey, they don't fuck about, crows might. Why is it with crows? I don't want to be horrible, because I know animals are animal, I don't want to be like a dick. Sorry, can I stop? I'm terrified of crows. Can I stop you there?

We've got so many crow listeners and I don't want you to piss them off. No, we've talked about, we went very crow heavy a few years ago. It was. Do you not remember? There was loads of stuff about crows. But I feel a bit sorry for crows. It's like black cats as well. They've been very sort of horror filmed, haven't they?

Yeah, crows and ravens. Crows and ravens have got a very negative contagion. But I mean, we have just looked out the window and two of them have been literally fighting about what it looks like a squirrel's arm. So that was, I've shut the window. I'm boiling hot and I've shut the window because that was fucking horrible. Why are you hot all the time? What was that? Oh, the restaurant. It's listed. It's grade one listed. It's four and a part. It's literally the oldest shithole that you love, right? Dusty, horrible, buzzing. Candles, no electricity, all candle lit. Ooh, sexy. Perfect. You're loving it, right? You're coming with the girls. You're all set down. I love that. No me and you would go. Alright,

me and you would go. I'm with the girls. I'll have a nice time. No, no, okay. I'll come. We've got childcare. Right. So we're going, it's candle lit, it's beautiful. It's lovely, Michelin star restaurant. It's all this, it's really part, crazy, once in a lifetime, you're never going again. It's Martin's. Martin's, right. I just wanna break down something that I've remembered. Oh for fuck's sake.

Sorry, hang on. This is terrible. Can I just tell you that quick? Yeah, come on. I've seen on Instagram, like really old fashioned Italian in Italy, you can get like an affogato that you had the other day, you know the ice cream with the coffee?

Yeah, yeah. You get it like in a little, through like a full on wall, hole in the wall, old building, just look mint. Right. Just thought that would be nice. Anyway. What, getting it through the, so getting it through the hole in the wall would make it

taste nicer than? Yes. Right. Okay. Ambience, Chris. Experience. Right, come on then. Sorry.

I'm in the restaurant. So you're in this lovely restaurant, right? You still with us? Yeah, we're sitting down. Right. Just got, you know, they brought these little nibble things over for your nice little wine. In fact, they showed in the restaurant. So you're in this lovely restaurant, right? You still with us? Yeah, we're sitting down. Just got, you know, brought these little nibble things over. Brought you a nice little wine. In fact, they've showed you the wine list. The guys come over.

He's enthused. He's told you all about the wine. Oh, the sommelier. Yeah, he's got a little... I love a sommelier. We've actually just got some music to set the ambience. Would you like to put some music on? Uh-huh.

Yeah, you ready? The music goes on. Yeah. Ready? Shut your eyes. This is the music. Sticking out your get for the Rizzler. You're so skibbidy. You're so phantom text. I just want to be your sigma. Freaking come here. Give me your Ohio. I'm leaving. Fuck

this. Now, you're just restaurant shit. Take away the Michelin star. How old are you Chef Nine? How old are you Chef Nine? Oh god. Anyone who doesn't get that, our eight year old is chef 9? How old is chef 9? Anyone who doesn't get that, our 8 year old is currently listening to So apparently the song used to be sticking out your tongue for the photo or you're so beautiful or something Oh I don't know. But why have we learnt it? Fuck me man So if, obviously don't play your children the whole podcast but play them while singing that And let's see what their faces do See if they get it And that that's coming from like we banned YouTube.

But I remember. So like. But when I was like his age I would say stuff was mint or stuff was class and my mom's like eee what does mint mean? Now it's another language. So are we gonna start saying gyat and Rizla in years to come? You never know. I hope not. Fannam tax is annoying, what the fuck is that? What the fuck is phanom tax? I've got no idea. Anyone who's got kids who are like six, seven, eight, nine, what's Giat?

It's bum. I thought it was a gun, a gat is a gun. Stick it up your Giat, so it means bum, stick it up your bum. And Rizla is a paver that you smoke weed with. But they must have a different one. Is that what they actually think it means? I don't know what they actually think it means?

Skibbidy's irritating. Skibbidy is like, is it good or something? Or is it bad? Oh, fuck, I don't know. I did ask him, but I can't remember. I'm just frightened and I'm not warm enough and I don't know how to get home and I don't know how to work the telly.

But Robin didn't know what the Ohio bit was. So they're all obsessed with Ohio. Freaking come here, give me your Ohio. I was like what does that mean? I was like that's like a place in America I knew. Yeah I don't know what that means. God. Anyway. Fucking gibberish. Good tune. What a tune though. No shit tune. Terrible. Hate it. We had a fight about the jingle, jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle, jingle So this is the jingle, jingle We hope you like the jingle, jingle Babadoo babadoo babadoo ba Jingle!

Hello and welcome back to the Rizzlers. Dig it up you yet? Yeah, apologies to anyone who doesn't know what the hell all that is. We don't really know what it is anyway. No, I've got no idea. Me neither do the kids, but it's all good. And you know what? We were young once. They've got a little culture going on. It's dead cute, I think. It's really sweet.

And you know what? It's horseshit, but they're enjoying it. They do. They love it. They love it. But are you okay? I'm fine. I'm really, really good. I've had a lovely weekend. Saw the kids, saw the friends, saw the fam, it's been really, really lovely. Although at one point I did get a little bit, oh gosh, I always talk about this and I think people, I hope you don't think that I'm mad slash a bitch or I don't know.

All of the above but carry on, we'll still love you. I had my friend over with our two little girls, Maggie and Nancy, who I'm very, very close to. And they, me and my mom mom my sister were here as well and we played for a good solid hour and a half we played restaurants and massagers and hairdressers and I swear to god I've never seen me and my mom my sister happier. It was like. It really upset us because we obviously you'd probably know by now on our on my side of the family we've got five boys I've got two sons and three nephews I love love them all absolute death. I wouldn't change them for the world They're amazing, but you were in your fucking element you

I've never seen anything like you and your mom and your sister were in your element playing cafes with them They look good. It was just nice By this time the lads had run themselves ragged and they were inside watching the telly. It was the end of the day, everyone was winding down, they'd been out, slip and slide, everything had been going on. So by this time they were inside chilling and yous were just, the girls were like, one of them just disappeared for like 10 minutes and came back and she drew a menu and she was like, this is the menu, she was putting a little accent on, she said this is the menu for the restaurant and you were all like like, okay. And it's just, I was just.

Like, don't get me wrong, the lads can play that, but then it turns into. Someone's came in the restaurant with a gun. And drop, someone's dropped kicking, you, mom. Yeah, yeah. Get down. And then it'll be nerf worn. I've got a sword. Yeah. There's a bear in your soup.

Like there's this mental. Yeah, just two of them. Whereas actually, we ended up, we got head massages at the end. That came with the, once you paid your bill, you got a head massage. was like this is the best place ever. Cards on the table I'm not eating there like if someone says to me there's this mint restaurant where you eat and then they give you a head mass and I'm alright for that. And a little wank. Touched that a little wank. I do a little wank.

It was just the difference in playing and I just sometimes I'm like oh my god. It was crazy. But that's how I remember my childhood was very chilled and relaxed and lots of playing shops and all that kind of stuff. And my life just isn't like that. But like I say, it is what it is. I'm very, I would never change them. And I don't want you to ever think, oh, you know, why did you always say this?

But I just like to be honest. And I just think I would have loved a little girl. But we've often said, I've said, if I could guarantee a girl, I would go again, but we'd get another boy and it would be another four years of craziness. Do you know what I mean? Not all boys are crazy. They're not. And now as I'm constantly crazy they do have lovely moments but it is a lot of, well I cuddled Robin that same night. Yeah.

No this was the next morning. Oh was it? So we were literally talking about this, me and you. We were talking about how it was just, I was like me I'm really sorry we haven having had a girl and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, but they're lovely though. And Robin came into the room to try and talk with her a bit. And then as he was going out, he went, come here, and he went, what?

And he went, you're just so gorgeous. My lovely little boy, you're so handsome. How did I get so lucky to have such a lovely boy? Wanna tell everyone what he did? Put us in an armlock. Armlocked him immediately. Immediate armlock reaction. But I think that was him saying, like, yeah, I love you too.

He was like, right, that's nice, armlock. Great armlock, Marikana, he's learned it really well. He does say one thing, like Robin at the minute. He said love you on the way out the door. He always says it when he goes out the door. He goes, bye, mom, love you, and I'm like. So he did exactly the same thing to me this morning, so it's not just you, just to try and make you feel better.

Rave hurt his toe, and Robin kissed his toe better. I propose nothing, just did it himself, then he walked up to the make you feel better. Rafe hurt his toe and Robin kissed the toe, kissed his toe better. I propose nothing, just did it himself. Then he walked up to the kitchen where I was. It can be very nice. Yeah. And I went, you know what? I went, you're such a lovely brother. I went, I love you so much. You're such a lovely boy.

And what he did was he immediately, he was standing side onto us and he immediately slapped us with his arm, right? Slapped us with one hand. And then he pulled back so far that he slapped us with the back of his hand on the backswing as well. And he realized he could slap twice if he rotated enough and he stood there and did that for like 30 seconds

Oh nice, ok, I'm looking forward to that when we get back You're done, you're done, and he went, yeah, look, look, two in one, look, slap, slap, slap I went yeah, yeah, he went right and he's fucked off and I was like, thanks dude, can't wait P.O. Love you too dude, love you too P.O.V. I can hit you twice and then Rafe will come over and go P.NV, I don't know, I'll hit you twice. Cause he just copies everything.

Anyway, enough of them. Are youaried? I'm buzzing. Absolutely buzzing. Babadoo babadoo babadoo ba. If you follow us on Instagram, you probably know we've got a kids book coming out this September. We're really proud of it.

It's called, There's a Poonami in My House. Great, Rosie's so proud of it, she forgot the name. It's called, There's a Poonami in My House. There's a Poonami in My House. We recorded the audio book the other day. We think you're gonna love it. We really genuinely think you're gonna love it. So it's one of them things where we wrote it

and getting it to rhyme and stuff was tricky but really fun. And then you read it and you're like, oh my God, this could be really good. I can see myself read it. And then when Paula Bowles has done the illustration, when we got sent an actual copy and we saw it all come to life and illustrations and oh, it's, dare I say it, it's magical.

Cause I've read kids picture books like that to both of our children for years. It's really exciting. Listen, this was meant to be a really short little piece in your bladder and on. I am an author enthusing about his craft. It's literally about 20 pages long. I am enthusing about my craft,

which is a book about shit. Listen, you can pre-order it now. The signed copies are gonna be available very, very soon to pre-order as well. We're gonna share it all on the socials. It took two weeks to sign them, but. And just thank you to everyone who's already pre- it now. The signed copies are gonna be available very very soon to preorder as well. We're gonna share it all on our socials. You took two weeks to sign them buggers. And just thank you to everyone who's already preordered. We're doing some sign-ins. The information is also on Instagram and X.

X? Calling it X now? Well, I mean, it's gotta be. I had to say Twitter. I couldn't not say Twitter. So yeah, cheers everyone and genuinely hope you enjoy it. Yeah! It's out September the 12th. It is. Yeah. Well done. Thanks. Babadoo babadoo babadoo ba. It's time for What's Your Beef? What's your beef? What's your beef? Beef? Beef? Now you claimed... Oh I've got one. I've got one. I was gonna say you claimed you didn't have one. I've got one I'm going first me.

Go on then. So your friends came over Saturday. Yes. With the kids and stuff. And then two of my friends randomly came over. So your friends came over Saturday. Yes. With the kids and stuff. Yes. And then two of my friends randomly came over. Well, my friend and his partner. Yesterday. They're all our friends. Yeah. But they came over.

They're more on my side than them two. Don't be picking them. Listen, I'll get them in the divorce. They're mine. You put a little spread on. Put a little spread on. I shouldn't really be moaning because you literally, I was like, we've got nothing in

and two minutes later you'd made like flatbread pizzas and stuff. Yeah. Corn on the cob. There it is. And you brought corn on the cob out. I took a bite of the corn on the cob. It was delicious. Beautiful.

Smothered in butter. I went, is there butter on this? You went, yeah. I always put butter on. You do not, when there's no one here, when there's no guests. I get playing fucking corn flavored Water drenched corn on the cob when people are here you whip the fucking butter. Oh, it's like a problem for the kids. Oh Excuse me, mr. Mr. Health kick listen

As you've all probably guessed Chris, his diet didn't last very long and he's back on Mr. Cobb loving protein munching. Do you know what it is? Do you know what it is? No, the summer holidays. You can't be. I'm being good. I'm trying but I'm hardly a jiu-jitsu. I can't go. I was supposed to do a competition yesterday. I had to pull out of that because we've got a fucking advert. I don't want to go in with no teeth or a black eye. Because I would have got carried away you are totally right like the competition was yesterday and in training I get injured now and then but in a competition I'd have got carried away and I would have been like

oh no I can tough this out I'll not tap oh he's broke me arm so I know exactly how I am you're totally right but I haven't hardly been at all and it's just hard to squeeze it in in the holidays so I thought you know what a normal at all and it's just hard to squeeze it in in the holidays. So, I thought, you know what? A normal person would think it's hard to squeeze in the exercise, so I'll be even stricter with a diet where I've gone, it's hard to squeeze in the exercise, free for all. That's life, isn't it? Yeah.

Well, you can't take it too seriously. What's the point? It's not. I'm just, do you know what it is? I just like, I'm not a full on, I don't count calories, I don't do nothing like that, but I'm like, well, I don't need to have them, I'll not have them. And for me, corn on the cob is delicious without butter. I'll put on for you then. Oh my God!

Adam's Mom- I get bone dry corn on the cob. I get bone dry corn on the cob, but people turn up and you show off, you get the butter out, good butter as well. It was a stick of butter, it was not spreadable. And you show off, there's butter all over the place. It's like a fucking ice rink out there. Like a bloody butter factory. And you show off, there's butter all over the place. It's like a fucking ice rink out there. Like a bloody butter factory. Do you know what it is?

Honestly, I just... putting butter on the corner of the cob is just an extra thing to do and that can't be asked. It takes more cutlery and then you've got to fill the dishwasher and I just think, oh fuck. Wow. Yeah, anyway. My beef with you, Christopher. Come on then. Is you... And I shouldn't really moan because at the end of the day, it does get done and I don't have to do it but... It's nice that mine started with, I shouldn't really moan but and yours has started with, I shouldn't really mourn because at the end of the day it does get done and I don't have to do it but... Can I just say, it's nice that mine started with I shouldn't really mourn but, and yours has started with I shouldn't really mourn but,

so I think this is the closest we'll ever get to that one person who emailed in once and said, can you just say what you love about each other? Say nice things. If you're still here, which I doubt you are, dear listener, I imagine you fucked off years ago, if you're still here, this is the closest we'll get, so remember it, cherish it and enjoy it. I think we just reminded her of her mum and dad. Oh god, that's grim. STOP FIGHTING! My beef with you is that you just you can't leave the garden toys out. No. You cannot leave stuff out in the garden. No it's got to be tagged in. However I fucking nailed parent and yesterday you like oh, this was gonna be beef by the way,

but it wasn't. You ordered Robin, not 10, not 20, not 30, but 50 Nerf bullets of Amazon. What kind of fucking fucked up, do you not like your house? Do you not like stuff? Well, he just asked for them and I thought, you know what? Like sometimes.

Well, he didn't have to be fair. I think it got to the point where he had three Nerf bullets and it was actually tragic watching him fire them. And we passed the stage where, I didn't buy them for a long time because Raph would just always put them in his mouth and I was worried that he would choke on them.

But now he doesn't, so I thought, yeah, go mad. So I didn't think about the picking them up actually. They were all over the garden of Saturday, all over. But what I did was, yesterday morning, two bowls, I went, come on guys, we're gonna play a game. I went, who wants to win some chocolate? And they were like, top parent tip guys. They went, who wants to win some chocolate? Obviously me, me, me, two mixing bowls.

Just, he did this before, just before dinner, by the way. So obviously. Yeah, it's a lot of fun. I'm really bad at it. I'll be honest with you. Not the greatest. Went outside, I went bowl each. I went, whoever comes back with the most nerf bullets wins a chocolate bar. They literally shot out of the gates, like horses at a horse race. It was insane. And I stood there smiling. I was like, I'm so proud.

Brackets, they're so stupid. Like it's so easy. You could have done it with stickers. They still love stickers. Yeah. It was so good. Bless them. Our reef, right?

We'll do anything for a sticker. Yeah. Honestly. Anything. Bless his life. It's just like, make it. That's shit. However, so I won't leave the toys out, right? So I did's crazy, isn't it? Anything? Bless his luck. Like, he's just like, me, I think that's shit. However, so I won't leave the toys out, right? So I did leave them out the other day, right?

Now, there's another thing I won't leave out, which is I don't like leaving the washing line out. Last night, you turned to me and you went, I'm leaving, look, I'm leaving the washing line out because I'm doing it all wash in the morning. It's not due to rain. What happened this morning? Well, it wasn't forecast.

What happened this morning? So is it my fault it rained? But that's not my fault. Pissed it down. Yes but can I just tell you all you need to do right, my mom used to do it all the time, just get a bit of kitchen roll, toilet roll back in the day, just go along give it a little wipe. Did it? Did it just before we came up the studio? There you go. And I put them both away as well. Why? Because it's fucking raining. But I was gonna put a wash on. I'll put them back out it'll take us 30 seconds. I don't understand why you can't just leave them out once. Because it's gonna rain on it again. It's gonna rain on it again. It's literally been raining since we got up here. And you shouldn't have wiped it, you should have just

left them out. Well no because then the rain will dry on it and that's what makes it dirty. Right well okay I'm gonna remember this and I'm not putting them out. You can put them out. Because I would never put them away to be honest with you. You would have them out the whole time wouldn't you? Yeah? Yeah. You would be that person who has the washing out in the pissing down rain and just waits for it to stop raining and then dry. No, I'm not that bad. Because smelly washing really upsets us. I'm not that bad. But I just don't see the problem with leaving the line out. It gets dirty. Oh, it doesn't. And then you put a lovely crisp white shirt over it and you get a big black line. Yeah, but you wipe it before you hang your washing out.

Right, right. Says the man who never does a washing by the way. You would rather wipe it than just put it away and take your washing out. Right, right. Says a man who never does a washing by the way. You would rather wipe it than just put it away and take it back out. Yes. When I know that I've got loads of washing to do and when I know that the weather's nice at the minute, it is nice weather, it's not like, you know,

we're not getting really bad days and good days, we're getting nice, lovely days, which is perfect, wash, dry and washing, you know, weather. I just don't put it away. Because you're a mania. You're a mania because just, it's really hard to get that washing line right. And when you got it right and taught,

also sub beef brackets, you can't put the washing line out properly. Yes I can. I'll show you how to put it out properly. I'll show you how to get it right. You're a dick. Do you know what it is? I didn't even bring this up.

Yesterday, when I went to bring the washing in, you hadn't even put the pole up. You fucking amateur. You did. Because I get it so tight. That's not, no. So I get it so unbelievably taut. No.

That I don't need the line. No, well it's sagged. It's sagged. Just like your bowl. I'm dickhead. What a horrible way to go on. Listen, after this, you teach me how to make salsa dip and I'll teach you how to put a washing line on it.

No, I'm not teaching you how to make salsa dip. I'm telling you. Just like how to cut a mango, which you've asked us about 500 times. Don't like doing it, it freaks us out. I have that. Learn how to cut a mango. I had to learn how to cut a mango. I get that washing line like a fucking tight rope.

Honestly, you've got to have acrobatics wanting to cross it when I've done it. I'm telling you, backflips the lot. Before and after you've had a white bit. Well, yeah, scruffy, they wouldn't touch ours. They wouldn't dare. They wouldn't work under them conditions. Armlock Carabina, let's go. Fido, start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A-plus year.

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Babadoo babadoo babadoo ba. It's time for questions from the public. Wishes from the babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo. Chablick. Public. Obviously I don't wanna overreg the pudding here and we do say it quite often, but this is genuinely what makes the podcast what it is. So thank you all so much for everything you're sending.

Please continue to send stuff in. Whenever we spark off any little memory or anything like that. There's still so many emails we are trying to get through. There's two, we're at 97% capacity. Oh my God. We're getting managed storage messages. So I've got to go through and delete. Well, you can just increase the storage.

I think you can. I think it's, you've got to pay like. Do you know what freaks me out? Bag's not paying. Yes, get in. So you'd have to sort that out. It's just, this is sometimes, this is my brain where I'm not technical at all.

When something like that happens, I go, do you know what it is? If I have to log in again, I don't know how. What do you mean? Just remember as is, on me laptop. I've got it all, I've got the details. Have you? I've got them, yeah.

Oh, okay, so I could just pay for it. I've got the details. I don't wanna pay for storage. What, lines? It's tax deductible. Yeah, it's tax deductible. It's working it. Yeah, woo! I don't even know what that means. What lines? It's tax deductible. Yeah it's tax deductible. It's working it.

I don't even know what that means. Means it's a business expense. Okay I'll just leave that to you. Okay. Alright then. But bags not pay. I did bagsy. I did bagsy.

I'm not paying it. You're gonna have to it's a bagsy. Everyone heard it guys? You heard it. If you want to get in touch shagmarydonoy.gmail.com maybe don't attach any large files because it might fucking lock them. It's a week right? Don't attach any full high res photos because we'll be fucked.

Not right now, just a little bit longer. Right. But there's like 63,000 emails. Oh, good grief. I don't think, I feel like no one listens anymore, but here we are. It's still rolling on in. I met someone just the other day who said, I was listening this morning. Mad, innit? We don't take it for granted so thank you so much anyway listen enough

of us fucking talking shit let's hear from you guys. By the way are we the only people in the world who haven't been to see Adele recently I feel like everyone on my timeline is watching Adele and I'm very jealous I would love to see Adele. So I saw a thing I saw a thing recently which I don't know is she in Vegas? No well she was in Vegas but now she's like in Munich and somewhere else and those places. Probably where I've never been. Cause she's nowhere near our fucking house.

No, she's not in the UK. Right, well there we go. I saw a thing that said, it was like a meme thing, it was like, she is literally a celebrity for celebrities. And it showed you her singing and then the camera went in the crowd and like McIntyre was there. Oh yeah, it's mad.

And just loads of like full on A-listers just like losing their shit to Adele. And it was like, yeah, she's a celebrity for celebrities. She just seems like a nice lass. She seems, for how big she is, she just seemed quite down to earth to be fair. Yeah, I think she is. I think she is, cause she's just talented.

And she's amazing. Hey Adele, if you're listening, email in. Keep it tight though, pet. We're nearly full on storage. We are full. I love Adele and she's so talented. Amazing. And she's class. Anyway, never actually met her in real life though.

Right. And you never will. I don't probably not know. Hi, Chris and Rosie. Just a quick one. After a long drive and finishing the most recent episode where Rosie uses her sunglasses to stir her coffee. Disgusting, yeah. Which I say nothing wrong with personally, but whatever.

But you are talking to someone who doesn't wash their hands because they're doing their time. Gets all of her back of the ear grim and sweat into her coffee there, just to sweeten it up a bit. Never thought about that. Anyway, I landed at my friend's house where we had a night of cocktail making. Having sat down with our cocktails,

my friend announced that hers needed stirring. And without a second thought, do you wanna guess what she uses actually? It's not a risgis but do you want to guess? Errrr, it's not a body part? No it's not. Okay, sat down with a cocktail. Although you could see I would just use my finger but it's too hot but with a cocktail

I would just use my finger. Yeah, just judge it, especially if there's ice in it. Sometimes it doesn't work, sometimes you need to give it a good. Alright then, okay so what has she used? I've sat down. It's mad actually, it's like so... I could think of a lot of better things. Sure, like me.

Is it like, is she using like the battery cover of a TV remote or something? No, but that's quite good. Well done. Thank you. Oh, you're brilliant. Yeah. Oh! No, it's because we got Samsung. We got Samsung Tellys and that click out on the back.

It's a long old, it's long and thin. Yeah. You can eat your dinner. You can eat a Sunday dinner with that. I'm going to do what? I'm going to take one on the train today. I'm going to eat a bowl of pasta with it. Okay. So listen, my friend announced that hers needed stone.

And without a second thought, took a banana out of the food bowl, shoved it in a drink and started to mix it around the tiny cocktail glass. Vile. It's fair to say that using random objects to stir drinks might be bigger than we originally thought. I think it's a thing. So, right, so how is that? So it's obviously not full at the brim because you stick a banana in and you're going to overflow that glass. It's in there.

Plus, I think bananas are aky though, like on the outside. Yeah, that's... There's so many reasons why I find that vile. It's horrible, isn't it? One, it's the outside skin of the banana that you don't eat. Like the black bit at the bottom that's like furry and minging. Well, sometimes it's got like crumbly bits on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sometimes if you touch it, a little bit crumbles off. And even the stalky bit at the end, that's always... That's a tree, that is. It's a bit hairy. It's got fiber in it, hasn't it? Like a twig? Oh, that's always, that's a tree that is. It's a bit hairy, it's got fibre in it hasn't it? It's like a twig. Oh no, oh she's really upset me there. Bananas upset me, you know, honestly.

Bananas get in the bin. You're missing out. I just... You're missing out. I don't want... It's like, it's... Oh! What?

Can you see that? What's happened? Your watch? Me three hours is up for me Tan. I must go have a shower immediately. What happens if this is still forever? No, it's fine. I'm just gonna be extremely well-done.

Oh, like a little croissant? Yes. Fantastic. You're missing out on bananas. I know, so you keep saying. It's in its own hold. It's like an orange, isn't it? Better than an orange.

You don't have to fuck about with it and make a mess and pull all the little bits out. I don't really like oranges for that reason. Open it, done, throw the container away. And then a banana stodgy as well. It's like a meat, you get a big enough banana, you think, fuck, I've had a graft there, like I've had a meal. I've had a proper meal. I just can't. They're almost carby.

I can't get away with the smell. I can't get the texture. It's just not good. And then little bits, the wiry bits on the side. Like, what are they called? They've got a special, really ridiculously scientific name. Oh, go on. Because I know that the white stuff on an orange is called pith. No, that's the, what's it called? What's the white stuff called? Oh my God. The stringy bits are perfectly edible and surprisingly nutritious, known asollum bundles. Follum. P H.

Do you know what my toxic trait is? I literally thought I was like, well I could do a food podcast because I love food, but I don't know anything about it. What's it called? Follium what? Follum. P H L O E M. Silent P.

That's what it says. Follum. Not a silent P. P-H making an F. You fucking, you're infant. Oh God. I swear I once. I hate being, I feel like I'm a pretend clever person. No, you're just not a clever person.

I once saw my dad take off one of them stringy bits one at a time and eat them. And I was, it was while I was talking. Yeah, do you eat them? Yeah, yeah, you can eat them. It says, it just said this, surprising interest, it says they're part of the banana. But sometimes you a time and eat them. And I was, it was while I was talking. I was devastated. Yeah, do you eat them? Yeah, yeah, you can eat them. It says, it just said they're surprising and nutritious. They're part of the banana, but sometimes you get them and they're really like,

like fucking shoelaces. I, our rave doesn't like them. Again, two things that my dad's done while eating that, I'll stick with his, make his so sad. One time I was talking to him, he was literally just taking the string off the banana and just eating it like he was dropping bits of fucking licorice in his mouth.

It was horrible. And I must've told you his favorite thing used to be eating a fried egg with no cutlery. Yes, I just can't. And your dad's quite an attractive bloke, isn't he? For an older gentleman, I would just, a little plate, side plate, egg on, just. That's that.

Was it fried egg? Fried egg with a runny yolk. Fried egg with a runny yolk. That's disgusting. Yeah, it's biting it and letting it drop back onto the thing. I know why you wouldn't just take a fucking fork in dude. I know. I'm judging but at the same time I still lick my plate so I don't know what to say about that. The noise of the fried egg was bad.

This really made us laugh and I just caught it on the off chance but it was it's called wood Rosie eat it's just an email of this book it says wood Rosie eat dot dot dot a jacket potato with a nail file and I would I would but yeah whoever sent this in great right I would there's any more that's it that's it just wood Rosie eat all right guys wood rosie this is the new section this is the new section Right. I would. Is there any more? That's it. That's it. Wood Rosie Eats. All right, guys, Wood Rosie Eats. Is this the new section? This is the new section. Wood Rosie Eats.

I'm going to just have to forward them to you. Yeah. Wood Rosie Eats. Right. A jack-o-potato with a nail file. Yeah, I would. I love, I love jack-o-potatoes. So you would eat a jack-o-potato with a nail file. Like, are we talking?

Oh, listen, I'd rather fork. Well, why? Check your privilege. Why? We're not going to fork it. No, man. Why are we talking? I'm not going to fork it.

I'm not going to fork it. I'm not going to fork it. I'm not going to fork it. I'm not going to fork it. I'm not going to have fucking hell man. Why are we talking metal nail file? I'm talking the one, the little like the burgundy ones. The sandy ones. Which I haven't thought about because actually when I'm putting it in my mouth it might hurt my lip. You're going to have basically a skid mark in the middle of your bottom lip when you're finished. Did I tell you last night I was eating ice cream, salt caramel, Haagen-Dazs. Oh my God. Like, sorry. Can I just say as well, this

was oh my God, I just remember this. So you we had some food yesterday, yesterday afternoon. Like we had like a mid afternoon snack. You just had a steak on because you had some steak. We had a steak. That sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? We were going to have it it for tea but we were clamming and I couldn't be asked to make tea so I was like, you just want a bit of steak. I just ate a bit of steak like Henry VIII. And you went, the kids were over sitting on the sofa and you went, do you want some ice cream? And I went yeah. And you went don't tell them. And I went okay. And you put it in a little bowl and you walked over and the kids were behind you. And if you can see this in your mind's eye dear listener, she had both the balls hidden by a torso so she was holding the

balls single file in front of her with a spoon and she came over dropped in front of me and was sat single file the kids behind Rosie me in the way of Rosie with also a laptop up eating so they couldn't hear her lo and behold Robin started walking over and I went he's coming he's coming Robin's coming and you dead quickly went tell him it's yogurt and I went what and then he got there he went I want some of that and you went it's a protein yogurt it's your dad's protein yogurt and you went I don't want any then it was fucking salted caramel hog and dad that was so devious honestly they don't give us a minute then Rave came over. Honestly, they don't give us a minute. Then Rave came over and went, what's that?

And I went, it's protein yoghurt. And he went, ehh. Fantastic. Oh, well, actually high five. High five. Well done us. Anyway, later on I went back for seconds of the said ice cream and I just can't wait. And I ate it with the spoon that I got it out with.

And like, it was so cold that a bit of me lip came off. Came off. Like dumb and dumber. Oh my god. I was like. So it got stuck. Yeah. Like a Christmas story when his tongue got stuck to the pole. Never seen it. Never seen it all the way through. Oh god. And yeah, so yeah, so actually maybe I wouldn't eat it with a nail file. You've said it now. You've said it now. You said it now. That's your lunch. Oh my god have I got... Have we done this before? Have I got deja vu? You haven't done done that before you've just got deja vu. What? God my life. Once again deja vu for those who don't know. A memory that's just happening right now accidentally gets filed in the long term rather than short term. So you go this has happened before but it's like you just went to the wrong drawer in your brain. So weird. I don't want to start a cock but I just love that

little fact. I didn't listen, what did you say? Oh my god! I've definitely got fucking deja vu now. I was getting the next question. The thing I heard about it is... Oh no, do you listen though? Don't say it again, tell me later. You know what it is, I'm not going to tell you because you'll just forget again. No, I would like to know because I get deja vu all the time. I quite enjoy it though, I'm like, oh, this is happening again. Well I'll tell you, we can get your opinion on it. No, do it later. No, but they want to hear your opinion on bit all the time. I quite enjoy it though, I'm like, ooh. Well, I'll tell you, I'm gonna get your opinion on it. No, do it later. No, but they wanna hear your opinion on it.

It's fine, it'll take two seconds. Go. All I'm saying, wow, you just don't wanna listen again. All I'm saying is, what it is is, this is what it is. You have something that's happening in the moment, and as things happen to you in the present, they basically go into your short-term memory, and after a while, they'll bump into your long-term memory.

But something happens. Let you say no. Stop. But something happens, and it accidentally just skips your long-term memory. But something happens. The Inside Out. Stop. But something happens and it accidentally just skips your short-term memory and goes straight into your long-term memory. And you go, oh fuck, this has happened before. But it hasn't, it's just been filed

into the wrong bit in your brain. Oh my God. That's apparently what it is. Oh wow. And I think it makes sense and I think it's really interesting. It is? Okay, I'm glad I listened.

Yeah, and like Inside Out was annoyingly accurate but annoying, just an annoying thing was annoyingly accurate, but annoying. Just an annoying thing to say. Such a good film. I just imagine you in a lecture, just for some reason, you're doing a PhD. Am I? You're sitting doing a PhD in psychology or, you know, brain science or something. You're sitting there and the lecturer is doing a whole loads of things on the board. He's going through, you know, the mechanics of neutrons

firing off in the brain and all kinds of stuff and electrical signals and you just put your hand up a tiny little dot on the lecture on the big there on the on the seats like inside out yeah and he goes sorry sorry what was that just what you said there with a memory like on disney pixels inside out where it's a little ball and then it goes down the chute Disney Pixar's Inside Out, where it's a little ball and then it goes down the chute. Yes. Yes. Thank you. Do you know why I did sociology at college? Literally. I thought it would be dead good and it was so shit. So what is sociology then? I couldn't really tell you to be honest with you. I just remember being a bit political and I remember we did something about like,

how's the crisis and so I was just like, this is not, I don't know what this is. I don't think I knew what I thought it was. Why did I do sociology? Now, I think I would find it really interesting. But back then, what, 17 years old? If this was a sitcom or a movie, this would be you. This would be, you'd see the lecturer

and then start talking about sociology. So sociology, the study of the development structure and functioning of human society. There you go. Yeah. That right? Okay. Why did I pick that? Well, if it, like I say, if this was a sitcom now, the teacher, the lecturer would be standing

there talking about housing crisis and talking about society and how everything that what's going to cover in the syllabus, right? And it would cover, it would go across everyone else and they'd be sitting making notes of someone tapping on a laptop someone writing down and it would the camera would pan along it would get to you on the end of the room and you'd be sitting there with a red clown nose on and a hat and you have all your juggling gear and you go I think I think I'm in the wrong room and you would get up and you'd leave and then just just as you were leaving the lecturer would be like and then you know we in society we build different you would leave. I think you're right. And then just as you were leaving, the lecturer would be like, and then you know, in society we build different,

and you would pop your head back in and go, like inside out, and he would go, no, please leave, and you'd go, okay, and you'd leave. Fair enough. If, mom, if you're listening, where were you when I was picking my subject? I don't wanna be your dick, and I love you so much, you know I do,

but I'm sorry, where were you when I said, did I say it to you? Mom, I'm gonna do sociology, And why didn't you say, why? Because I could have picked something so much better. Adam's Dad- No, juggling. Kirsty- I wish I'd done cooking. Adam- Yeah. Kirsty- And do you know why I didn't?

You know, I've told you before. Adam- Because of what you had to wear. Kirsty- Because I had to wear them checky pants. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. Hi guys, hope you're well. We are, thank you. I had my vinted parcel delivered yesterday whilst I was setting my daughter with the window open. Settling. Settling my daughter with the window open, sorry. Oh, it must be having a... I'm guessing, I'm guessing. The bloke approached my door on loudspeaker, chatting to what I

assumed was his other half. This is what he said. Oh man. I'm not even going to do an accent chatting to what I assumed was his other half. This is what he said. I'm not even gonna do an accent because I can't do a proper just here. This is what he said. Well Stace, I'll have to call in sick this evening then, won't I? Otherwise, you'll have another threesome without me.

And it's really fucking rude if I, that's not the company's fault. Oh no, sorry, I thought he was delivering something that she bought off him. No, so he's a delivery driver. Oh my god. It says, couldn't hear response, but I audibly gasped. Who is Stacey? Are they swingers? Is this a regular occurrence and is Stacey a serial threesome cheater?

Wow. I would love to hear something like that. Comes to something when you've got a phone in six so they don't have a threesome without you. I mean, come on. I don't know how the other half lives. Synchronize your diaries, guys. What the fuck? Oh, God.

I can imagine though, if you're that way inclined, once you have your first threesome, there's no stopping you. I can imagine, can't you? I just imagine, I just, again, a lot of admin, awful. We don't know where to look. And I just think that, I think when you're having sex with one person, you're always like,

yeah, they're comparing this to other times they've had sex with other people. When there's two people, are they comparing it to times when they've had sex with two other people? Must be it. Yeah, like that one was better. Like, oh, I've had it every, oh God, I just feel like you'd better see it in their eyes,

especially the person who's not involved much. And as well. You know when someone's mind wanders, sorry I didn't interrupt there, but you know when someone's mind wanders. Yeah, yeah't interrupt there, but you know when someone's mind wanders. Yeah, yeah. How could it wander having a threesome? I'm sure you'd be surprised.

Yeah. Do you know what my thing is though? Do you know, obviously with a threesome, you'd have to like schedule it. And I just think, what if you weren't in the mood? You know, you're scheduling sex. What if you were just absolutely not in the mood, but you had to do it?

Well, you just not have to go, wouldn't you? You just be like, oh, I'm sorry, I can't make it guys, I'm sorry. And they're like, oh, so we're just having a normal. We're having a normie! Ugh! Oh God! Or it's just the two straight blokes.

Oh, so we're just wanking, we're wanking while looking at each other. Fuck's sake, man. Oh, funny. Lads, got the driving range or something. Fuck's sake. This is a really quick one following on from episode 270 in the Codfather bit. Codfather for a fish and chip shop. My favourite shop name pun happened when I was out delivering for Amazon. A sunbed shop called Only Tans. That was quite nice. Only Tans. Like Only Fans, but Only Tans. Some bad joke.

Oh, very good. Oh, come on, Chris. I imagine your hat is- Look at Chris pretending he doesn't know what Only Fans is. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Excuse me. Only Fans?

They do non-pornographic stuff now. I'll have you know. Do they? Yeah, they've done comedy and everything, Only Fans now. Sorry, what? Yeah, they've branched out. Yeah, they've branched out. So- Like what?

I mean, I'm furious. I've wrote some letters. I don't want comedy. I don't want comedy on me porn site. Think you're doing it? No, I imagine you had to see the logo. I imagine that joke works a lot better when you see the logo. Only tans. I thought I said it quite well, actually.

You didn't fucking paint a logo in the sky, though, did you? No, I didn't. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. Hello, hello. Rosie, you often talk about the glob of cum that most women have to deal with after sex. Oh, straight in there. Went straight in there, did you? Do I always talk about the glob of cum?

It's always, always. Mention it a few times. On the tip of your tongue. It's really upsetting. I just don't like it at all. So just thought I'd let you know, me and my partner casually referred to it as the second cumming, which is nice.

That's good, that's really good. So there you go, thank you for that. Oh, that's really good. So there you go, thank you for that. Oh, that's really good. Oh, yuck. Oh, yuck, yuck. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. Hi guys, hope you're well. I'm re-listening to the podcast whilst traveling abroad.

Ooh. I wanted to see how nice it is to always be able to listen to a Geordie accent. That's kind of- Oh, well we'll hope you're having a lovely time. It's like home away from home, lovely. I was listening to the episode about the crazy binocular

couple who buried the wrong cat. Can you remember that? Do you know what? That doesn't even ring a bell. I don't, that must have been years ago. That doesn't even ring a bell. Wow. I can't remember that anyway.

It reminded me of a story from when I was a child. My family had a black and white cat that lived about 18, in like real years 18 do they live that long that's intense in it holy shit let's have a quick look to these things that's oh my god do you know what I think that's quite expensive not for a cat no yeah you don't forget a driver lessons in a fucking 2 to 18 years Wow sorry 12 to 18 years cat cat lifespan 12 to. Well, I told you about a really traumatic experience,

which I think cat owners experience all the time, but as a non-cat owner, and I've not been around cats much even growing up, I was at a friend's house a few years ago, and the cat came in, and I just heard like a crunching sound. I was just like, what's that noise? And my friend just nonchalantly,

she was like, oh, the cat's eating the mouse, and I was like, I can't, that's, I'm scarred. And they do it all the time apparently, just sit. When they bring it to you, it's like they're teaching you. So they bring a half dead one in and they want you to finish it off because you're their kitten and they're like, look, this is it and they're bringing a half dead one in.

Yeah, so it's quite lovely to be, you feel me, if you're their owner. Yeah, so they bring it as like a gift. No, it's a teaching moment. It's like. I didn't know that. Yeah, so they bring it to you and they go, look, I've got a fucking call.

Like inside out. Very good. Like Fox and the Hound. Like a Riddikat. So yeah, so they bring it and they go, and you've got to finish it off. And I get it, and it's a circle of life and all that kind of stuff, the crunching.

But the crunching, I was like, what's that noise? Oh, it's just the it, and it's a circle of life and all that kind of stuff. The crunching. But the crunching. I was like, what's that noise? Yeah. Oh, it's just the cat. He's got a mouse. I was like, please get the cat. However, cats are clean as fuck, so that all that mouse shit will be gone off it in 20 minutes. I know, but it? Oh God, yet I will literally suck ahead from a prone

and not think anything of it. You're a fucking hypocrite. You're a hypocrite is what you are. Oh, I could do with some prones right now. Right, listen, Family Cat, 18. Black and white. We were never really sure how old she was, not helped by the fact she died twice,

which I don't understand. Sorry. They've left that, that's all that, that's the only information in there. She died twice and that's it. But they've got nine lives, haven't they? Which I never understand about a cat. I don't, is that a joke? They don't really have nine lives. It's funny, one who knows I'm glaring at Rosie now.

I'm glaring. No, they don't have nine. What do you mean they have nine lives? Well, what's that saying? A cat has nine lives. No, I don't think, what do you mean they have nine lives? Well, what's that saying? A cat has nine lives. No, I don't think they die and come out. I just think they can get away with like really tricky things. It's just a joke.

It's just cause you know, they always land on their feet and they're quite fucking wily, aren't they? There you go. They don't have nine lives. It's not like they die and you go, right, back up. That's one. Fucking hell. No, okay, so listen, here is that once upon a time,

maybe when I was younger, maybe I did think they died and came back nine times, okay? But in recent times, I think, oh, they're like allowed nine looky skin. Allowed? Who? Allowed? Allowed? God!

Cat jumps out the way of a car. Hold on, that's your tenth, back under that fucking tyre, you chancer. That was number 10. Right, I don't, sometimes, somebody once told me that you only had nine layers of skin, so I literally was terrified to have a scab for years. Like this. Don't, Chris, I'm very gullible.

It grows back. I know it does. Have you not heard the thing about spunk? When you run out with spunk? Yes, the thing they used to say was, and you're gonna love the measurement. Okay. You only get a bucket and a half.

A bucket, like a normal sized bucket? You only get a bucket and a half. Right. Don't waste this. Don't be whacking too much, you only get a bucket and a half. Really? Yeah, that's so much wang.

That's so much cum, sorry. So much wang. Bucket and a half's a great measurement though, isn't it? That's awful. But yeah, no, cats, no. It's just because. It's just a them. But yeah, no, cats, no, it's just because- It's just a sale. They're just, you know, I mean, they're amazing.

Like they're wily and athletic and, you know, landing their feet and all that. Like toast. What? Toast always lands butt aside down, doesn't it? Cats always land on their feet. It's gone. It's gone. But no, they don't, right. One, I'm already furious that he or she has just written, plus it died twice and just

left that there. So that's upsetting. Just listen to the rest, okay? One day my dad found a dead cat in our street that had been unfortunately flattened by a car. It was almost unrecognisable other than it was a cat and it was black and white. Exactly like our cat. He rang my mum who was at home at the time and she ran out in a dressing gown to see it. Slag.

I'm joking. I'm totally joking. I just haven't said slag for a while. In hysterics, sorry she was really upset, thinking she was going to have to see me and my sister, only 10 and 11 at the time, that our beloved cat had been mowed down when we got back from school, that she was gonna have to tell them. And so my dad took our poor cat into the garage

and began wrapping it in our old baby blankets. In blankets. Oh my God! Which my mum had decided was the most suitable material. Imagine. Old baby blanket, so weird. To try and make it look half decent and not to run over. So that we would be able to say our goodbyes. Not to run over is really, I don't mean the last one. Just this little whisk I poke and I was.

Not to run over is a great frame of reference. However, whilst he was kneeling over the corpse, our actual, very much alive cat came strolling in and looked at him and the deceased animal very confused The Fox go down in here Fox that who's that? Ways this are they my burial blankets that were had planned for when I do me ninth death What if you came in, Bruce? What's it called, Bruce?

Let's go, Bruce. Her lad, what about her lad? Oh, God. What was that friend? They'll go out, you did not wear a cat's coat. Tell you what, could be a bloody brother. OK, so the other animal's very, very confused. He picked her up and carried her, purring into the house.

Just to reiterate, the cat he found was flattened, unrecognisable in brackets clearly, but my mum, still weeping, looked back and forth between them and exclaimed, Carl, how did you do that? My mum somehow thought my dad had resurrected our pet. It just says, thanks, me and my sister had a good time, good laugh. Sorry, remembering this story. Oh my God. Beautiful. Oh, thank you for that.

No but she must have just been so upset. That's wonderful. Oh God, how did you do that? You're a miracle worker. It's amazing. Oh man. Oh god. That was cute. Oh god, oh Christ. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of Shagged at Marylin and Oyd, which is part of the Acast Creator Network. Yes, thank you very much indeed. If you want to get in touch with Shagged, Marylin and Oyd at jmail.com. Please continue to like and rate and subscribe to all your podcast shops and I think, I think if you go British Podcast Awards, I think you can still vote for it on this list.

Oh, we've got the books coming out! We've got a kids book coming out! Oh, the kids book! There's a panami in my house coming out 12th of September. You can get yourself a signed copy. We're going to be sharing the links on our social very very soon. Yes, and we've got two sign-ins as well. So yeah, probably see you there. Bye! Bye! sponsored by Audible. A fiery rivalry, a nemesis with benefits, a race to get to the bottom, but stay on top. Here, Canada's own best-selling romance author, Lily Chu's newest Audible original, Drop Dead, starring Hamilton breakout star, Phillip Esso,

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