Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 288. Rake Away

Episode Date: September 27, 2024

It's a QFTP special but that doesn't stop Chris and Rosie having a quick childcare debrief and an update on 'Golf, Grappling and Good Vibes'. They also chat about how people behave at the early stages of a relationship and why Rosie was embarrassed to call the driving range. QFTP's cover a range of topics - food in a cinema, a repurposed sponge, stinky revenge and some unforgivable behaviour at a fancy hotel. If you want to get in touch email the podcast [e-mail] Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, your listening to Shagged Maridinoid with me Rosie and my husband Chris. Hello! Hello, this is a very special episode where we are just going to delight you with some wonderful questions from the public. That's you, that's you, if you're listening, that's you. Disgusting, fun, vile, shocking. Because Rosie is at work. I'm at work.

This week and we can't record on a normal time. So we're recording this straight after last week's episode. Because unprofessional, Rosie, terrible time management, booting things in when you already have a job. Sorry about that. Disgusting, you do not see me double booting myself these days. I mean, if you listen back in the podcast, you used to do it a lot.

We used to do stuff on a night. Not anymore. I am 100% committed to this podcast, unlike some people in this room. You're just, you're gonna be full-time dad. Full-time dad, holding the fort. I don't wanna do that. Getting rid of, no.

Can I do something else? Can we just? Categorically, not okay with that. Don't wanna do it. Can we just though, he's not being a full-time dad because he definitely doesn't have the kids any days of the week. Get looked after every single day.

I'll have them Saturday and Sunday when you're back. I'm not having them during the week. Oh my God. What? You're literally not having them at all. No, no, no. I'll have them Saturday and Sunday when you're back. Oh my god! You're literally not having them at all? No, no. I'll have them on the mornings, which you know, it's a few hours, feels like eternity. And evening, again, feels like eternity. And all through the night. So... Holy shit. Yeah. And what I'll be... you tell the lovely people what I'll be doing the rest of the time. Is it something to do with grappling? It's golf, grappling and good vibes is what it is. Golf, grappling and good vibes.

It's golf, grappling and general good vibes. Oh, really good. That's gonna be happening. Playing golf with the lads, going grappling and just good vibes. You are a lot happier recently. I've just chilled a bit. You're like a retired man.

It's great. A retired old man. Good for you. Hang on, ready? Ah! Was that a sneeze? It's a sneeze with like a laugh. That was horrible. It was like Nelson from The Simpsons exploded.

I was, oh God. Oh, it felt fucking beautiful. Mouth open just all onto the floor. Oh God. There's no one there. Yeah, but again again it's better than sneezing on your hand do you remember when we got in that lift last week and that bloke sneezed as soon as he got in second he got in, sneezed immediately, I was devastated I nearly fucking punched him I was so upset got in the lift just went and then he passed you and I'm sorry I haven't contaminated everyone then he went he went I saw a documentary where your knees can travel miles an hour.

And I was like, great, great. He said it could travel 200 mile an hour or something. So I didn't talk very fucking far. Just hit us three, you dirty old fucking. Sorry, that was good. Is that your good vibes? Come on. Did you see what you've done?

Just by being here, you've ruined the good vibes. You've ruined the good vibes. Are you going to meditate with this today? No, I've told you, Jujitsu is my meditation. All right, okay. It's empty in your mind. It's getting everything out of you. When someone's trying to fucking strangle you

or break your arm or your leg, you can't think of anything else. So that's my meditation. I meditated so deeply last week when we were in London. That Chris was like, are you doing that mantra during the day? Because the woman kept saying something. And I was like, what are you talking about?

He's like, what you said. I was having to forget what I just said. She was going on about something, something about positive thinking and something else. And I was like, and then you immediately winged about something. I said, that's not the mantra. And you went, what mantra?

And I went, the thing she was saying over and over again, you went, oh, I didn't hear her. So you weren't even listening. No, that's how. That's your, you don't even listen to the woman who is telling you to do a thing during your meditation. No, because I was so spaced out. It was beautiful.

I suppose you're tonight. Fair enough. We had a fight about the jingle, jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle, jingle. So this is the jingle, jingle. We hope you like the jingle, jingle. Babadoo babadoo babadoo ba. Jingle! Babadoo babadoo babadoo ba! Jingle! So, without further ado, it's time for Questions from the Public! Okay, okay, okay. As always, if you want to get in touch, it's shagmarynord at gmail.com. A full shnepishnord of shnashnashnashnashnufnig.

Oh God, stop. God almighty. Dreadful. You're looking at your watch, you've got somewhere to be. I'm trying to time how long this is going to be, you tosser. But yes god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I didn't want to get mad at you about all the... You are fucking taking the piss. Why? You've just given up.

You've just given up. I'm doing it now, I'm working. Literally. What? The other day, the other day. What? Right, the other day when I came back from work, I was absolutely naked.

I'd hardly slept the night before. And I came in and you and the kids were coming home from school and I was making all the tea and I just didn't want to... Like bath time and bedtime, I was like, we can do it together all the tea and I just didn't want to, like, bath time and bed time, I was like, we can do it together, you know? One of we can take turns, bloody, bloody, bloody, I'm shattered, let's get through it together.

And you literally were like, can I go to PJJ? Tell them what you'd done all day. Tell them what you'd done from eight o'clock in the morning when you got rid of the kids and I wasn't there that day. Half nine. No, not half nine. It was, it was half nine.

Rob was at school. Teed off at half nine. No, but you'd got rid of the kids earlier than that. Yeah, about nine. So you'd done golf. Yeah. It happened at nine till when? About, oh, nine, 10, 11, 12, about 12.

Right, brilliant. And then what did you do? Just got fives. Yeah. Could have done BGG then. But I hadn't done grappling as well you see. Brilliant. It wasn't on at that time. I can't just turn up when I want.

Now you honestly, you are trying to make me have a breakdown. Rattle on through this, the driving range is calling. It's just. There's so much to do in the house. Like there's so much to do all the time and you just are out and about swanning. Are you having an affair? No didn't you just say I was happier than ever? Are you having an affair? Are you happy? Listen there's one thing that

definitely would not make me happy and that is another fucking woman to have a go at. No but in the beginning this is the thing, we're always lovely in the beginning. Yeah, nah. No, we're all though, we're all. I can see through it. No, you can't. Of course I can. I was lush when I met you and now.

You're a total dick. I did. I always say that to blokes though. You know if anyone's having an affair, not that I know anyone having an affair, but what I want to say, I'll rephrase that. What I want to say to people who are having an affair is it all seems lovely now and they're the best version of them But give it five years and they'll be a complete dick. Yeah, they'll be the same. Yeah.

Probably worse than the person you're with now. Yeah. I kind of know you're not having an affair though because I rang like a psycho. Oh, we haven't even spoken about this. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was on the treadmill last week and we were meant to have some people to look at building like an outdoor office thing in the garden. And you'd booked it in months ago,

but we've changed our mind. I canceled it. But I didn't know if you canceled it or not, right? And I was literally on the treadmill and I got an alert on my phone half an hour before and I was like, are these people gonna turn up? And I'm gonna have to like explain to these people that we don't want it anymore just dripping a sweat not had to shower

that morning and I was just like what should I do so I tried to call you you'd gone to a golf simulator. So I got rained off the actual golf course so I went to a golf indoor golf simulation place which was amazing yeah and, the lady ran down. Ran down to my booth. No, but I was actually mortified though. But I had to ring the place to be like, is my husband there? So, two things.

Two things. She ran down to my booth and she went, phone call for you. And I went, eh? And she went, yes. She went, you're in trouble. So that was funny. And I was like, am I? And then I spoke to you, all three things I've got,

so that's one, spoke to you, and you went, uh, are people coming for the thing? And I went, no, I've cancelled it. And you went, all right, can you tell that woman that I'm not crazy, please? Can you tell that I'm not a maniac? I went, yeah, I'll tell her, no problem. In my defense, I don't check up on you.

I'm not, please don't, but I'm not. Well, I gave her the phone back and I said, by the way, my wife wants you to know that's not lunatic. I said someone's supposed to be coming around. She thought still had someone coming to the house and I canceled it. But I didn't. I just wasn't going to answer the door. Yeah. And then she went, you will not believe how many times I get a phone call and the same. My husband said he's there and I say, he's not here.

Yeah. Shut up. Yeah. She says I have you'd have completely forgot about that. call and they say my husband said he's there and I say he's not here yeah yeah she says I have you'd I've completely forgot about that yeah I went you're joking Trin yeah she went out the goes me hope me husband's there can eat his name such-and-such and was going oh there's not one and she goes they'll go on that bastard put the phone down yeah oh fuck how mad's that oh my god yeah well done well done for being there thank you you very much. Thank you. Honestly, I'd rather go driving range than have sex with anyone. My Chris will always be where he says he is.

Because he's allergic to sex with other people. There it is. Okay. Listen, we shouldn't joke about it. I know, however. You know, some people really don't like each other anymore, but they're in the marriage because they're just staying it for some reason. And I don't know why. Financial, kids, stuff like that. Just leave. Life's too short.

Honestly, pack your shit. Do it nicely. Say, look, I'm not really feeling this anymore. Oh, sorry. I thought you meant like fold everything properly. No, I just mean people. I just don't. I think I don't think it's worth staying in it. I say this to you all the time. I'm like, if you ever come to a day when you're not happy, just fucking tell us because I can be arsed just don't I think I don't think it's worth staying in it. I say this to you all the time I'm like if you ever come to a day when you're not happy just fucking tell us because I can be arsed. Do you know what I mean?

Which reminds us. Right! Or not today, not today. Or don't today. I've got to pack. I can't be bothered. Choose it on me good week because I'll take it a lot better. I will leave you first, by the way, that's hilarious. Babadoo babadoo babadoo ba! Good afternoon. Hello. I just heard Rosie remark on the fact that Chris had yawned without making a noise, implying that this was not his usual practice.

I think you did it on the podcast, but you managed to yawn, not make a noise, because usually you go... Weirdly, I've got one coming on now just because you've been talking. But yeah, I normally give it the, but yeah, it's horrendous. This made me think of the man who shares my pension. And I think she means I was saying, what an amazing, I have never heard that use. The man who shares my pension.

What a fucking cold, cold, weird. That's a new one. That's like, so that's like a female version of like, you know, the old ball and chain, you know, her and does. The man who shares my pension. She must make more money then. Oh, maybe, yeah, a little dig. That's great, the man who shares my pension. He always used to make a real racket of the ahhhh variety when yawning.

That was bad enough, but then he started doing it to the tune of God Save the Queen. Sometimes you won't have a long enough yawn, so actually finishes it off with words as in, and she's wrote down here goes God save the Queen. Brilliant, what a prick! I haven't challenged him on this because I'm saving it up but I swear if he changes it to God save the King I'm leaving him. He will! That's the best bit!

He will! Oh don't say prick, that's nasty. No but you know, no it is, he is a prick but he's deliberately being a prick that's what's funny about it, he's just annoying and he's being an annoying prick and that's really good. To never tell you, Carl told me that sometimes when the phone would ring in his mom and dad's house,

his dad would just sit next to the phone, not answering the phone. Do you know this? Yeah, so the phone would go, and his dad would just sit there going, ah, bloop, bloop, bloop, ah, bloop, bloop, bloop. And it would ring again. And then he would go, ah, bloop, bloop, bloop.

And just not answer it, but just sit doing it. And his mom would go mental. Yeah. Just to be a prick, to be an annoying prick. It's hilarious. Oh, bloop, bloop, bloop! Just not answer it, but just sit doing it and his mind would go mental. Why? That's... Just to be a prick. To be an annoying prick. It's hilarious. It's really funny. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba! Hi, Ramsey's. Hope you're both well. Hello! Very quick story which you reminded me of when you were talking about your friend paying for his spoiler

and you trying to convince him to pay in pound coins. Yes. When I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, I'd now met my, it says in brackets, I'd met my now husband and come to the realization this just wasn't for me. Even though I didn't tell him that part clearly. Fair.

Weirdly, he seemed more pissed off than angry, and one of his parting statements was that he owed me money and I couldn't say goodbye to that. It was 50 quid, and I was more than happy to let it go if it meant I could escape that awkward conversation and never say him again, so we went our separate ways. Wow.

So does she want it back or not? She doesn't want it back. She said she doesn't want it back. All right, okay. A week or so later, I returned home from work to find a really heavy brown envelope in my post box. No stamp, no name on the front. Weird, I thought.

I brought it inside and opened it up to find an A4 piece of paper with 50 pound coins individually stuck to it. Go and fuck off. Yeah. No! I laughed so much I cried. I mean, how long had he spent

firstly collecting the coins and secondly, painstakingly attaching them to this piece of paper with sellotape. No, that is. But do you think he's, well, I was thinking about this. to this piece of paper with sellotape. No, that is... Well, do you think you... Well, I was thinking about this. You could stick them to the sellotape and then fold them over and put them on the paper, but why would you do that?

And then the paper's gonna break. That, I'm just...that is so calculated. Weird, isn't it? That's like, you know, like in like seven and stuff when they get the clues or the letters from the murderer and it's all...it's letters cut out of of like letters as in A, B, C, D cut out of magazines. You know you should do that in all the films it was all different. That's like that. I mean she said how long to collect the coins and you go to a bank with two 20s and a 10 and you've got your 50 pound coins straight away it's the sellotape and them and they were individually sellotape. Wow.

And I've just had a memory of something I completely forgot about. Come on then. I've just got a glimpse in my head of I think I used to collect Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle coins and I think we used to push them into like a coin holder. Right.

Oh. I just got a random memory. Let me just have a quick Jamie on that. Who's Jamie? Why do you keep mentioning him? It's the guy on Joe Rogan's podcast who brings up videos and photos and facts. We don't have one of them. No, no, no. We do it all the time. It's because we can't have anyone else in this room for when the real arguments kick off because it would be too upsetting. I know. Oh yeah?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle coins? Yeah and you put them into a big board. Oh my god I remember them. 1990s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles official coin collection. Oh you can buy a full one on eBay. Oh my god. Yeah Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael. Yeah and you stuck them onto like a bit of card. Let's have a look. There. She's got the coins and it was like a big cardboard bit and it was the sewers and you stuck them all on. Casey Jones foot soldier. Oh right. Eby. Definitely a coin collector guy like. Oh I'm having them. Do you remember coins though? Do you remember? I used to collect like, no who gave me a coin when I was younger? I don't have it anymore. A grandparent I think. I'm just quickly buying these. No you're not. No you're not. Why? Well what? What? Why?

Just to see them. Eh? One thing. One collection. How much are they? All of them. 60 quid for the full set. No you're fucking not. What you doing? Look at it! it comes in a thing. What are you having at that? Where you gonna put it? What you gonna do with it? Just in a drawer? Stop it please. Don't. Oh my god you would. Do you see how I live? You are. There's something going on. Something going on with you. Don't because then you'll bloody be collecting coins for the rest of your life. I'm joking. I'm joking. Just for another month. I think you had a bid on with you. Don't, because then you'll bloody be collecting coins for the rest of your life. I'm joking, I'm joking. Just for another month. I think you had a bid on them anyway.

I'll see, I'll go back later on. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. Hi Chris and Rosie. Just thought I'd share one of my most embarrassing recent moments. That's why we're here. This morning, I dropped my two year old off at nursery. He didn't want to go.

After a few moments of me trying to encourage him in, the nursery teacher announced, would you like to come and see how our new snack cupboard? And without missing a beat, I said yes. And started to walk after her. Actually this is a little bit exhausted. I would like a snack. Yes, I would like a snack. Can he come as well? Only then did I realise she was in fact only talking to my son. She gave me a weird look and awkwardly stared at me. I've never felt more embarrassed in my life. Quickly pushed my son through the door and left as fast as I could.

Oh, that's fantastic. Eee, funny. Well done, that's great. I would like to see the snack cupboard though. That would be fun. I'd love to see the snack cupboard. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. Hello Ramseys, it's taken two years,

but I've finally caught up to date with SmartPod and now I'm in 2024 with you both. Oh, hello. Hello and welcome to... Welcome to the future. Yeah, exactly. We've got flying cars, we've got all, that doesn't work, but you know what I mean? Do you remember being a kid though, right?

In the nineties and being at school and writing the bloody date on your books and that. Yeah. It was wild, I think. 2024 was like so, like galactic. Do you know what I mean? Science fiction. Yeah.

Futuristic. I mean, in ways, lots has changed. Lots in sort of handheld and home technology. We're the biggest leap, I think. Yeah. Aren't we? Yeah. Our generation's the biggest leap, I would say.

Technologically wise, yeah. Then again, I mean, when planes biggest leap, I would say. I would, technologically-wise, yeah. I would say, then again, I mean, when planes were invented, I suppose. But- I suppose me Nana didn't even have hot running water when she was younger. Yeah. She's seen a lot that way, lady. Yeah, yeah.

So your Nana's, yeah, she's spanned a lot of it. The stuff that's changed in her lifetime's unbelievable. She had a bath, man. The bloody tin bath. Do you know what I mean? They didn't have, shit, they didn't have baths. They would have to heat the water. They did have a bath. Yeah, they had a bath man, the bloody tin bath. Do you know what I mean? They didn't have, shit they didn't have baths. They would have to heat the water. They did have a bath.

Yeah, they had a bath. Yeah. But it was like a tin bath that was hung up. Sorry, I mean we've got like, we can talk to computers and get like this AI. There's loads of things. Yeah but. You're talking about fucking baths.

Yeah but me nana has literally got an iPad. Like she's literally gone from being a kid in a bath shared by a full family of one day every like three days or four days to watching an iPad. You mean like bathing once a week and now she's watching an iPad? Yeah. Fucking hell got there in the end. Do you know what I mean though? She's seen loads happen. I feel like loads happened while you were trying to explain that. I feel older. Good. What's happened? What's been released since the beginning of that sentence? I bet they've got flying

cars now. I thought they would be quicker with that to be fair. Quick question. Quick question. Are you finished scratching your fanny or do you need to keep... While maintaining full eye contact with me, may I add. Just imagine that. Imagine this was a real workplace. Imagine this was a real workplace. Imagine this was this morning and you were hosting it and you just looked down the camera to the viewers and just raked away. I get told off for sniffing, for drinking water. Full eye contact with me. Because I didn't think you would notice.

I didn't think I would notice. In fact, I was over my pants. Back to the question. Yeah. About 10 years ago, my ex-boyfriend had a job working as a salesman in a Honda car showroom. My dad had his Honda for 23 years. Yeah. And he got a new Honda.

And he got a new Honda. I love him so much. Excuse me. It's just farting now, Daisy. Honestly, it's like fucking, honestly, it's like doing a podcast with the form. The form cast. Jesus.

Do you know what I've started watching loads? You can leave that in if you want, I don't give a shit. I've started watching on like Instagram and TikTok loads of videos of people who are in hospital and they can't stop thoughtin' and they're just like, they've got like, like empty themselves of the pan. Your algorithm really knows you. Do you know when they've had an operation but they must be like dead gassy. And they've just got their roll out but they're just laughing because it's so funny. It's brilliant. Anyway, right, okay. Videos of people farting. Just to go back there, just to the conversation we had before this,

with how much technology and how far we've come. And people are just using it to post videos of them farting. Oh yeah, I mean, pointless. Totally pointless. Unbelievable. Yeah, it's a little shit. He was quite young and adventurous. So this is the Honda guy. This is the boyfriend.

He was quite young and adventurous and would often have rumpy-pumpy in random places, one of those being SeaWorld Florida. Awful. Ew. As part of his job, each of the salesmen had to take an interns to be on call for the alarm. Okay. One night, it was my ex's turn to have the alarm and blast be known, the alarm was set off. Okay. We set off in the car to go and check for any scallywags.

On arrival, can you still say scallywags? I've got no idea. Okay. On arrival, the course was clear and we went into the showroom to turn off the alarm. Suddenly, my ex appeared to get the horn and we went into the showroom to turn off the alarm. Suddenly my ex appeared to get the horn and we started kissing. He pulled down my shorts exposing my bare ass and pulled a key out from the drawer in front of me. A Honda CVR, smack bang in the middle of the showroom blinked its orange light to notify it was open.

Why has he already pulled our pants down? Because I think he's probably just like... Oh whip your shorts down. Stay there. Stay there while I crack you find the keys for this. We're doing this. Oh God! Okay. Yeah. He pointed towards the car and I waddled over to the car with my shorts around my ankles. Horrible.

Both cracks fully exposed. Brilliant. Does she mean a front crack and a back crack? That's exactly what she means. Oh! We did the deed in the car and once finished, I sat with my legs akimbo, door wide open, awaiting my ex to bring me some tissue from the toilet. Adam's Dad's Voice- Brilliant.

Kirsty's Mom- Awful. Adam's Dad's Voice- Last time I buy ex display a car. Kirsty's Mom- I know. Is that a good car, Honda C-V-R? Adam's Dad's Voice- Err... Kirsty's Mom- CR-V. Adam's Dad's Voice- I don't know. Kirsty's Mom- CR-V. Adam's Dad's Voice- Well, it's in the middle of the forecourt. It's inside.

Adam's Dad's Voice- I don't know. Is it a sporty one or I don't know? Adam's Dad's Voice- That's good. Kirsty's Mom- Come on, let's have a look. Would we have a Honda CR-V? Sounds a lot like CR-V. Adam's Dad It's a 4x4. Honda 4x4. Looks quite nice. Kirsty Oh, nice. Okay. Nice, good one. Right! Okay! Anyway, went about our lives. The finished, wiped up, went about their lives. Had a nice time. Do you know what I mean? Everyone's...

Adam's Dad Brilliant. Kirsty Car, sullied forever. Well, yeah. A couple of months later was the Honda Christmas party. Oh God. As we sat at the table with the sales manager, he kept looking at me in a rather strange way. Oh no, the CCTV.

I thought perhaps he was just a bit socially awkward person and I tried to engage in conversation. How wrong I was. After a few whines, the manager turns to me and my ex and advises us that should the moment arise again, try and make sure the CCTV is turned off. There it is. That's right.

The entire escapade of that night, including my naked waddle across the showroom and laying in the back of the car with jizz, falling out my vag. Brilliant. All shown live, live, through CCTV, straight to the dealership manager. I was utterly mortified. Would you not get sacked for that?

He should do, but he might get on well with him. Yeah. Do you think he's like, eh, eh? I don't know. I imagine if it was me and I was the manager and my mate had done that, would I sack him? If I didn't like him, I'd probably sack him. I imagine it's up to the manager and just the manager saw it. If it went straight to the manager's phone or whatever and the alarms gone off and he's like, right, even though it's someone else's turn. I mean, probably, I imagine if, you know, if the head of Honda is listening, they would want them sacked. But I think if it's just their mate, then probably not. But don't know if I could get horny at work. is listening, they would want them sacked. But I think if it's just their mate, then probably not.

Don't know if I could get horny at work. I think I'd be like in work mode. It was in the middle of the night though, wasn't it? It was in the middle of the night they've gone down. But why did she go? All the alarms gone off. You're coming. No. Oh yeah. Do you not remember being young? The amount of bloody jobs that I went on with ex-boyfriends. I still remember. Again, bones are contention for me, going fishing with an ex, you're just sitting there and going to the driving range.

I can't even go on my own at the driving range now, but you went sat there with your ex. No, life's different now, isn't it? Ridiculous. Yeah, I once went, I think I went to Leeds once with a guy on a job, just for no reason. Love, maybe, Chris. No, it wasn't love.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo it wasn't love. Dear Chris and Rosie, probably best to keep me anonymous. Oh! Mm-hmm! Socy! Wanted to share a story. P.S. It's not about me, but my crazy fucking Nana. Right! Here goes. My auntie and Nana have never got on.

To be honest, nobody likes the two of them as they are toxic, but at one point, they reconciled, reconciled, reconciled and we all went to my aunties for tea. Late in the afternoon, my Nana went to the toilet and was taking a while. But since she's elderly, we thought she was just struggling with the stairs and thought nothing of it. Brilliant. Don't check her. I just don't know. Didn't think that helped that. She's fine. No, she's toxic.

Yeah, toxic. Don't help her. Don't check her. No, but you know that you're toxic. Anyway, she's toxic. Yeah, toxic. Don't help her. Don't check her out. No, I didn't know that you're toxic. Anyway, three to four weeks after, my auntie was really struggling with an awful smell in her house. Oh, never in the world. We all couldn't for the life of us figure it out.

She'd been and gone on holiday, came back and still for weeks the god awful smell still stayed. Oh man. One day, she was going to do the clothes washing and it wasn't a small amount of items in the hamper so instead of pulling the items out she pulled out the lining of the hamper. It was a wicker basket one with a removable fabric lining and was shocked with what happened next. No way. Do you wanna guess?

Has she done her shit in it? Has she done her shit in the bag of the thing? Underneath the lining of the washing hamper was a giant wrapped up turd in a small layer of tissue. So she pulled it out of the toilet? It had been there festering for weeks and stinking the house out. Needless to say it was vile to look at too. Turns out my nana did not fully reconcile with my auntie. It was just enough reconciliation to get her into her house and plant a shit for her to find.

That's the worst place to put a shit. I mean, although the washing's getting washed after it's been in there, but still. I know, but Jesus Christ. To this day, I still find it gross and hilarious. Never in the world. Oh. I'm a teacher and it's my favourite story to tell when the teachers tell me their crazy family stories. Wow.

Oh, you think your family's crazy? My Nana shit me auntie's laundry basket. favourite story to tell when the teachers tell me their crazy family stories. Wow! Oh, you think your family's crazy? My Nana shit me auntie's laundry basket. How did you... Oh, so the line... Okay, so the lining, I know exactly the kind. You put it in, it sort of loops over the top and goes on the little handles, doesn't it? It's not like stitched in or anything. You can accidentally come out when you empty it. Oh, wow!

Oh, wow! But is that her mom or is it her mother-in-law? Sounds like it's her mom. Wow! But that's bad her mom or is it her mother-in-law? Sounds like it's her mom. Wow. But that's bad. I know, it's really bad, isn't it? That's really bad.

It might not be. Some families have got all kinds of set-ups that you call someone. Some families just don't get on, you know. Wow. Oh, I'd be fucking raging if someone did that to me. I think that's, I think that's smash all the windows. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba.

Hi, Chris and Rosie. I've just listened to episode 280 and the story Chris told of Carl wanting to take pizza that some strangers had left reminded me of when I was 19 years old and after a night out in town I began my walk home and was absolutely starving but unfortunately had spent all my money on drinks instead that night. Oh being there. On my walk and this was before like cash points and that isn't it?

When was it? That doesn't say but it doesn't say, but I'm guessing. Once you ran out of money, you'd run out of money, hadn't you? There was no way of getting any more money. I mean, yeah, this might have been, they might have just took cash out and not a card with them, yeah. God, remember, remember, remember. Just before tapping on your phone and stuff.

Mad, wasn't it? Cray cray, just cray cray. Mad. Just remember a world where when you hadn't beat the cash point, you just had no money. Yeah. I remember once me and my mates went out

and it was the night that the clocks went back or forward and we couldn't get any cash. None of the cash machines were working. We wanted to get cash to get some food. Oh God, I'm actually panicking. Why did they stop at the same time? No, it was because of the clocks. Because the clocks had changed. None of the cash machines were working. We worked it out. We went to like six or seven cash machines and then we're like, all right, we'll drive back and on the way we'll get some and then we can order a takeaway.

And we couldn't get cash from anyway. So we went back and stayed at my mate's house. Raided his fridge. I remember we'll put a pack of like 24 Aunt Bessie's Yorkshire puddings in and we all just sat pissed as fuck eating Yorkshire puddings. That's actually a really lush drunk food. It was grim. No, it was grim. Well, I remember, it's funny how you don't think of these things. I remember part of a night out was going to the co-op for money in the taxi. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the co-op, where I grew up in Shields on Mortmore Road, is it Mortmore Road? No. Neath Chy Metro. That co-op there. Oh, the one further down. Dean Road. There used to be about six taxis. And there would be a queue at the cash point. Yep. And you'd just, everyone would wait in the taxi and one person would get out.

Yeah. Or everyone would get out if you needed money. And that was part of your night out. Getting cash was part of it. It's mad, isn't it? Yeah. I haven't thought about that for so long. Mad.

Eee. I was going to get my education maintenance allowance out. EMA. EMA. I never got that. I used to get £15 a week, so I could get a tenner out every Friday. Yeah. Every two Fridays, I get £20 out.

Eee. Mmm. On my walk home, there was a well-known pizza establishment, who I won't name, but their colour scheme is red and blue. Okay. Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?

What I mean? Eh? Do you know it? Do you know it? Yeah, don't you? Sorry What I mean? Do you know it? We're not naming. We're not naming. Okay. Stominos. With a few lads standing around outside, so there's a few lads outside. As you can imagine I was extremely jealous as I walked past and all I could smell was their freshly cooked pizzas. Imagine. Star starving. On the opposite side of the road was a pub that is known for being quite rough. Okay. At the exact moment I was walking past, about six or seven bundled, six or seven people bundled out

of the pub doors, all scrapping with each other, and eventually more followed, and still the street was full of people beating the hell out of each other. Oh. All this commotion caused the lads outside the pizza place to jump into action and try to help break the fight off. Fantastic.

Now I'm not one for drunken fights and I certainly didn't want to get involved so I just kept my head down and carried on walking. That was when I spotted on a wall an open pizza box with a fresh untouched pizza, still steaming in the cool air of the night. Oh! I'm sure you can now guess. This is very well written. Isn't it?

Fresh pizza still steaming in the cool air of the night. Oh yeah. I can say it. I know. I'm sure you can guess the thought that crossed my mind. And you're right. I quickly grabbed the box. Buck and jackpot.

Well done. Closed the lid, picked up the pace and continued on my walk home. I'm absolutely fine with that. Now in possession of a fresh, hot, and mostly important, fray pizza. Oh wow. Once I was certain I was out of sight, I then began my end of night feast and it was delicious. So either guy who left the pizza on the wall

would have absolutely loved it, but it serves him wrong for getting involved in the pub fight. Would you have stolen the pizza? I wouldn't have. It depends what the lad looked like. Ah, okay. If he was massive and he went over and started clearing a row of people out of the fight, absolutely not. If

he was just sort of average looking and he sort of just went over and... Nothing to do with the fact that it's stealing. No, no, in this scenario I'm pissed and I don't care. Oh, okay, good. That's nice. But yeah, no, 100%, I'd 100% stole that. Good to know that all your morals completely go out the window when Peter's involved. Peter, 100%. I'd 100% stole that. It's good to know that all your morals completely go out the window when pizza's involved. Pizza, 100%. Yeah, I'm alright with that. Would you have stolen money? No. If it had been money there?

No. So how much is a pizza? I'd have probably, if it was money there, I'd have probably waited until he's finished when, by the way, mate, you've left money in there. But the pizza, I don't know why, but the pizza's... But it's the same thing. It's coming. You're stealing.

And it hasn't been touched, the pizza, it hasn't been eaten up. No. No. You're fully stealing. Oh no, I don't think I would have. I don't think I would have. Don't you try to backtrack. I genuinely think, I'm just think I'm running through in my head and I think it'd have been too worried.

Yeah. Especially if it's someone who's like happy to run over and start fighting. You're going, oh, you're having to steal their pizza because they're just going to chase me and go give me fucking pizza back, I'll kill you. They would have noticed, they totally would have noticed. I think they would, yeah. This is a serious opportunistic moment

that this person's had here, and you look, you didn't get your head kicked, and congratulations, and I hope you enjoyed your theft pizza. I'm not a big fan of pizza, so after a night out, I used to always just get garlic and chips, or, do you remember Tim, who has, I used to get an onion bargey. I used to get an onion bargey and eat it like an apple,

and my farts the next day were unbelievable. They went through loads of them, didn't they? Weren't they dead cheap? Weren't they like 50 pence or something? It was crazy, it was amazing, yeah. Onion bargey, eat it like an apple on the way home. Oh, through loads of them, didn't they? Unbelievable. Weren't they dead cheap? Weren't they like 50 pence or something? It was crazy, it was amazing. Yeah. Onion bargy, eat it like an apple on the way home. Oh, do you know what else I would get?

I'm surprised I'm still alive. Yeah. You know what else I would get from Barbecue King? Remember Barbecue? Is it still there? Not all there is. Hopefully it's not there. Nothing's still there anymore.

I would get a burger, right? Beef burger. This is two o'clock in the morning. Yeah. With raw onions and ketchup. Awful. Oh. Raw onions, two in the morning. I could eat that now. Had it been up all night, it would've been a hard burn. Ohful. Ugh. Raw onions. Mmm.

Two in the morning. I could eat that now. Had it been up all night with heartburn. Oh my God, I could eat it now. I'm starving. I'm hungry now. I'm starving! Babadoo babadoo babadoo ba.

Hi Rosie and Chris. I'm currently listening to the podcast after about two years of not listening. So I decided to restart and thought this story was a cracker. Oh well. Oh, welcome back. Nice to hear they fucking come crawling back. Around two years ago, me and a couple of my friends went to the cinema to go and see a movie. Before the movie, we were going to buy ice cream from the staple Baskin Robbins in Cineworld, in which I bought a Brownie Sundae.

This is an important detail. Brownie Sundae. This Brownie Sundae consisted of one scoop of ice cream, I chose chocolate at the bottom, a long rectangular brownie in the centre and another scoop of caramel ice cream on the top. Heavens. Which sounds amazing. Yeah. By the way. I'm not a fan of chocolate ice cream. Ehhhh! Don't like chocolate ice cream. I don't like chocolate flavoured things. It's odd isn't it? Yeah. I don't like anything chocolate. What? I feel like it doesn't taste like chocolate. I feel like it just tastes like brown.

I don't know. Chocolate ice cream's awful. It's not. It is, man. It's so nice. It's a bit dusty. There it is. Dusty.

It tastes dusty. Aye, I think that's a cocoa powder. No, no. But it's lovely though. Caramel ice cream. Caramel ice cream's incredible. Dairy ice cream, vanilla ice cream, absolutely salted caramel ice cream.

Who ate the rest of that Horgan Doss? I'd never touched your Horgan Doss, I promise. It'll have been your mom. My mom. Um. Wow. Did you see that? Sorry, sorry, did I say that out loud?

Good God! Watch my kids while we're away. My mom watches the kids while we're away and all of the rogue, like, sweet things that I try to hide from myself, they just go, she finds them. She's like a pig with truffles. Do you know what I mean? What an incredibly insulting thing to say. No, but you know, when they go truffle finding,

your mom finds all of the stuff, all of the things. She also breaks everything. Well, yeah. Throughout the movie, I only ate the top scoop as I wasn't feeling too good. Oh. Leaving only the brownie and chocolate ice cream. What the fuck did you buy for me, you greedy bastard?

What? What you buying it for? What's like buying a pick and mix? You don't always eat all the pick and mix. But what, were you going to buy anything you don't feel that good? What you doing? Or did you not, maybe it came on quickly afterwards.

It came on after the ice cream? Oh, oh, the mask. This mask is, it's fit on the floor. I'm here. Still off. I'm at the cinema, so I will get me big massive brownie Sunday again I don't know sitting why does everyone have to take fucking full meals into the cinema stop it popcorns fine popcorns fine I'm taking a brownie Sunday

in I'm taking a fucking apple crumbling custard in then you greedy horrible sods just funny we spoke about people taking food into the cinema. Yeah. Because it's happened to us before when we've been next to people having bloody takeaways and that, right? Do you know there's a cinema, I've never been, the one in Newcastle, everyone bangs on about it. Yeah. You can actually get food while you're watching the film. Yeah.

Like it's like your new thing. No, I'm not having it. I think you get pizzas and that. Okay, well, alright, obviously I'm going with pizza. And it's like a sofa, you can get, you sit on a sofa. Just fucking, no, just go and do, like, why? Just watch the fucking film. Like, oh, you know, it's a really tense moment of the film and that. Who's got the, oh yeah, me and the pizza. Yeah, yeah, oh sorry, it's got pepperoni on it, I didn't want pepperoni. Alright then, yeah, no bother. Oh no, just pick them off and put them on the fucking seat next to us

Oh, it's hot. Oh, well, I've seen none of this And see where you're coming from I know we don't normally agree on stuff but like eat before Snacks are fine snacks are cool. Listen, I can't what I still don't need a meal just Me brownie Sunday. I'm going to the cinema, so I'm having me brownie sundae. It's a scoop of ice cream, then there's a brownie, then there's another scoop on top. Fucking hell.

I don't know why this is so annoying so much. Oh, Dana, it's just like, oh, take me... What's next? Take a full fucking birthday cake and with candles and sing happy birthday to the fucking next year. No, but ice cream's always been an option at the cinema. This is a new thing. A little tub of it. It's that fucking...

It's just... It's gone, it's over the line. It's just slightly over... It's not got a bloody nick about agro-oil. It's just slightly over the line. It's just slightly over the cinema. A little tub of it. It's just gone. It's over the line. It's just slightly over the line. I disagree. I would love a brownie sundae on the cinema. Screw you. So anyway, she's only at this top scoop. Alright. I hope you're sick. Oh wow. At the end of the movie, the rest of it obviously melted. And when I left the theatre I couldn't find a bin and I needed to pee. So I went straight to the toilet, hoping there was one in there. To my surprise, there wasn't any, apart from the sanitary towel bins, of course.

So when I went to go pee, I put the cup of brownie and melted chocolate ice cream on the toilet roll holder in the stall. Bear in mind, the toilet stalls were really busy due to everyone leaving after the film. It's gonna rattle. I'm fuming. Some people just got no fucking foresight or common sense. I balanced it precariously on the door handle in front of me. Little did I know, I saw it coming a mile away.

Come on, how much fucking chocolate did they get out of it themselves? As I bend down to pull down my trousers in front of my eyes, I see the entire cup fall onto the floor underneath the stall into the next woman's stall with a woman in it and then the entire brownie and brown liquid all over the floor on this poor woman's cubicle and mine making it look like a massive case of shit slash diarrhea. You didn't see that did you? Of course no I thought it was just gonna fall on her yeah oh of course it's brown and brownie and oh it doesn't

help doesn't help that around two minutes after the initial shock she kicked the cup back under her face. That's a huge fuck you like. That's a huge. I'd be so upset. I'd be so upset. Imagine you're sitting there in a chair, you're wiping your arse or something and just a full cup of chocolate ice cream and a brownie just falls at your feet. All over your shoes and your pants are on the deck. Oh, yeah. See, stop troughing around full fucking desserts and full meals in places like that. Get a popcorn or a patty crisps or whatever something you need with your fucking hands. Honestly if you need cutlery, don't take it in the cinema. You are? What's wrong with you the day?

I don't know. You've caught us on a day. I've had ice cream in the cinema before. But I'm normally, in my defence, I only get something like that when I'm going in with the kids to see something I don't really want to watch. So if I don't want to watch it, I get the ice creams for me. That's like, oh, well, this is for me because this is my enjoyment because I'm going to watch some piece of shit film that I don't want to see. I'm not going in like if I'm going to see something I really want to see. I asked the difference. I only go to the cinema to see something I really want to see. Last time I went to cinema was like, I'm sure it was the fucking final Avengers.

Apart from a kids film. I'm sure. And we went years and years ago. I'm to go to the fucking final Avengers, apart from a kids film. I'm sure the last. Honestly, to go to the cinema. I love the cinema. I really miss the cinema. We were in London the other night and we had a free night and you asked me if I wanted to go to the cinema and I nearly divorced you on the spot. Why?

It's just one of the worst things anyone's ever asked us. It's just horrible. I really like the cinema. And I must have told you the time when I lived in Manchester and there was someone behind us smoking in the cinema and then they inflated a condom and just started throwing it about. No. It's horrible. Is this when you weren't allowed to smoke in the cinema? You still can't smoke in the cinema.

Well, obviously. You've never been able to smoke. Sorry, how old do you think I am? You think I'm one of the picture hosts? You think I'm one of the picture hosts? The mecha? When I was caught on a Saturday night? You've never, as long as I've been alive, you've never been to smoking cinemas. It would cost me a pound to get the bus, I'd get the mecca, I'd go out to watch the film, I'd get the bus back and a packet of chips for a pound. Yeah. Alright, grandad.

All of that. So yeah, it was in Manchester. Oh, okay. Right, when did the band smoke in cinemas? Let me just have a look, because we definitely, I was smoking in night clubs. Yeah It was in Manchester. Kirsty- Okay, right. When did the band smoke in cinemas? Let me just have a look because we definitely are smoking in nightclubs. Adam- Yeah, not in cinema. Kirsty- When did the band... Adam- UK at the end of your search. Kirsty- Smoking in cinemas.

Adam- UK. Kirsty- UK. When was smoking banned in British cinemas? Adam- Come on then. Kirsty- Do you want to hazard a guess? 1995. Do you want to hazard another guess? 1990. 2007. Shut up! 1st July 2007. No! Yep. The ban came into force at 0600 BST on 1st July 2007 as announced on 30th of November 2006 by former Secretary of State

of Health Patricia Hewitt who called it a huge step forward for public health. I've never been in a cinema when someone's been smoking apart from that moment. Yeah, yep. So you could smoke in cinemas. So when I went to see Men in Black and when I went to see Jurassic Park as a kid on my seventh birthday I could have smoked them. Chris, we used to get on planes, and there was ashtrays on the planes. Yeah, but you were never allowed to use them.

Only just, I think. And probably you've just been lucky that you've gone to a cinema where nobody's thought to smoke, because it's kids' films and stuff. Wow. Mm-hmm. 2007. God, we're old. But it was 2007 where it came into play everywhere. Right. So I reckon most cinemas had their own rule of you couldn't do it. Do you think? Yeah. All right, New GC, old school, Virgin Cinema, UCI, Warner Brothers Cinema, all the ones around here. Mm-hmm. You surprised I knew all the old ones?

Kirsty And I can't remember UCG. Adam And obviously City World, which is the correct now. I think City World is mad, but all the old ones, I reckon they would have had. Audien, all of that, I reckon they'd have had their own rule. Kirsty Okay. Kirsty Okay. Adam Just so there. Kirsty Okay. Adam So there.

Adam So there. Babadoo babadoo babadoo ba. Hi, Chris and Rosie. Hope you and the kids are well. We are. We are well. Please keep me anonymous. OK. I'm a sexual health nurse. So as you can imagine, I see all sorts.

Yeah, we're going. Yeah, you do. Here's the good stuff. Last patient on Friday afternoon, it was a young lad, and he attends my clinic absolutely beside himself, convinced he has gonorrhea. Whoa, which one's gonorrhea? Er, I don't know.

I think it's a bit like chlamydia, bit worse than chlamydia. I don't know much about gonorrhea. Never had gonorrhea. Gonorrhea gonna sitting on the loo and what do I see diarrhea? Gonorrhea is a sexually transmitted infection, STI caused by bacteria called something.

Oh, the clap. Is it? Oh, it's chlamydia. Is it? Yeah. Just is it, it's full name. It's Sunday name. Oh, hold on.

Google is chlamydia gonorrhea. But chlamydia infection. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I don't wanna read this. Is it the pussy one? Yeah, they're talking about colours of discharge. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay, well, the top of colours of discharge. Oh God! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Err, okay. Well, the clap. Whatever. Okay, right. So I don't think it's...yeah. Many questions later. It turns out he's never actually kissed anyone, never mind had any oral or full-blown printer of sex. Sorry, I was still reading there. He thinks he's got an STI but he hasn't even kissed anyone. No. Right.

So I asked, well, how do you think you've hasn't even kissed anyone. No. Right. So I asked, well how do you think you've managed to get gonorrhea then? Right. He then proceeded to tell me how he had made a sex toy, somehow using two of his mam's kitchen sponges from the sink, attached with a rubber glove that his mum had used to wash the dishes to make a vagina type toy that his penis would fit in. Fucking hell dude. What's happened? So I know exactly what this is. I've seen this. I've seen this on a video or a meme or something. It's two sponges together with

a glove in the middle and turned inside out around the sponges and then a thing around the side like a plastic band around the side. I don't know but I know exactly what he's doing. Did you have one you have one when you were a kid? No. So he's done that. I wish I'd fucking had you kidding me. I wish I'd seen this. He had convinced himself that gonorrhea was a bug that could just live on work surfaces and he had now put that on his genitals. Oh god, I've got salmonella of the cock. Oh gosh it says here, after a session of masturbation he then returned the sponges and gloves for them to continue to be used.

Do it little bastard. Oh my god, not sure which bit of the story I am the most distrusted about. And that's it. That's the thing though innit, when you're doing that you're like your mum. That's the thing, when you, if you're a kid, like as I say, I wish I'd done that with God almighty the things they've got at their fingertips these days. But if he's took two kitchen sponges and a glove, like, and in his head she's gonna go, well, where's my stuff?

Where's my two sponges and a glove? And he's gonna go, oh, I used them for something. In his head, she's gonna go, you used them as a sex toy, you little pervert! But obviously she's never gonna go to that, but because he's got a guilty mind, so he's had to put them back rather than tell her. Oh, you fucking, oh, she probably did....that's the Friday she probably did Sunday dinner.

She probably did Sunday dinner that weekend. Washing up with them gloves on with his jizz in them. Oh God. Oh God. If you're out there listening you shall be ashamed of yourself son. I love the idea that there's probably about a thousand lards going, sorry. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bap. Hi guys, please keep me anonymous. Just Insta-scrolling and saw Rosie's stories and the posh bogs and it reminded me of a story I thought you might enjoy. This is from when we went to the Savoy.

Okay. Which is like a lovely, beautiful, five-star hotel in London. We went for dinner there and then we went to see Mean Girls after, because the theatre is in the, it was lush, it was a lovely little night wasn't it? Yeah it was a lovely little night. Myself and my partner did a kitchen table experience at the Savoy with some friends.

Oh okay. I don't know what that is but I'm guessing it's a lot of like food and drinks. Like a tasting menu and all that stuff. Oh it'll tell you, sorry. It involved eating in a small room off the actual kitchen with a window to watch and going into the kitchen to cook. Oh! That's cool. That's cool. It cost a small fortune, but I was so excited.

I am 99% sure. I've got, we got bought one of those. Did we? And it ran out during the lockdown. No. Yeah, yeah. No. It was after strictly someone bought us one as a gift

and it ran out and I've never chased it up. I would have loved that. It feels like a weird thing but yeah, yeah, with that, I'm 99% sure. We could have went and did this, like this. I'm sure it's for there as well. I'm sure it was off our management and it was after strictly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bastards. It cost a small fortune but I was so excited. We spent the day in London before heading to dinner. While us two girls went off to get our hair done, the lads had a few beers throughout the day or so we thought. We arrived at the Savoy and the AC was broken so they gave us a free bottle of very nice wine. Oh, okay. What, because the aircon was broken? Also must have been hot in there.

Must have been hot. That was the start of the downfall. As the night progressed, despite the corpious amount of food, the lads got drunker and drunker. So much so that all we got to do in the kitchen was watch them cook chips and plough them into the lads to try and sober them up. Wow. Fucking chips! It's a really posh place and they're just knocking on chips. No, have a year off for you. Towards the end of the night and three bottles just knocking on shit. No, have you ever you? Towards the end of the night and three bottles of wine later, in brackets, I had a glass

and a half and the other last was pregnant, I got up to go to the loo and my partner said he needed to go too. As we made our way in the lobby and I was admiring it, I turned to look at my partner who had a worried look on his face. Oh no. And then it happened. No. His hand went to his mouth and his cheeks puffed up.

I growled at him, don't you dare! And he scooted off to the men's sharpish. After using the ladies I went over to the men's to retrieve my boyfriend only to find red wine sick all the way down the door of the toilet in the Savoy. It's a beautiful lobby. It's so nice. There was people coming in just to take photos of the lobby. It's so nice. This is horrible. I propped open the door and started calling his name. Also she hadn't, so she's just seen the sick on the door. Outside of the door. Outside of the door.

Like fucking the shining. Oh God. I propped open the door and started calling his name. As he swaggered round from where the toilets are, he attempted to look me in the eyes and utter the words, what's the fucking problem? The fucking problem was the red wine and steak vomit that was down the front of his white shirt and light brown shoes.

And it only got worse because as we made our way back up to the table, oh, I noticed a small pile of vomit on the marble steps. Oh my god. He'd vomited the best part of a grand down the most expensive toilet he'd been to. Do you know how much was it? We did not get bored this taste and thing. Well, no, not that much. No. Jesus.

We had to go back to the hotel with all the windows down on the taxi because the smell was so unbearable. Oh, you dirty bastard. I woke him up the next morning by opening the bag of clothes from the evening before and letting him get a good whiff. Oh, jeez Louise. I'm getting anxiety just thinking about this. This is upsetting me a lot.

That is so bad. It's such a nice hotel. It was. It was. Oh, the proper thing as well. The proper table just off the kitchen, the geeposh bit. Just make this drunk fuck have some chips will ya. Just bad crack. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of Shagmire Noid which is part of

the Acast Creator Network. Yes thank you very much, if you want to get in touch at shagmirenoid.gmail.com thank you for listening to this Questions from the Public special, and Rosie will be hopefully professional next week. I'll be back, probably next week. Working in the office. Promise. Like a professional. Promise. Love to you all.

Bye. Bye.