Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 34. Coughcast

Episode Date: October 4, 2019

This week on the podcast Rosie and Chris discuss school detention, Fireman Sam's only Italian resident, that annoying workmate and much more! Plus Rosie has a cough that is getting on Chris's nerves, big style. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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at torontorock.com. Hello, you're listening to Shag Maridonoid with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my husband christopher ramsey who has just told me not to cough even though i'm still very poorly he said i wouldn't want to be listening to a podcast when someone coughs all the time so if i cough i'll just do it away from the microphone that's that's i think that's more than acceptable yes i wouldn't guys everyone listening now you would not like a podcast where someone just coughs in at the microphone you're on your morning commute and someone's just huckling directly in your ears i beg to differ somebody would pay to listen to that and you know

they would yes yes but this podcast is quite mainstream and i think what you've just described is quite niche so if you want to go from eight million downloads to one download by some random pervert who's probably got toenails in his wallet then fair enough start your little cough if you want to hear oh god oh heavens above heavens above if you want to listen to my cough cast i'll probably have this call for another week i hope not forever it's been hasn't it it's ridiculous hasn't it i've been away like Over a week working And I got back And you still got it

Am I dying And when I was here I was in the spare bed For a week So you've had it For nearly two weeks now Right what's happening Why am I not getting

Any better I don't know It's getting worse Did you hear that I sound like a dog You do Or a cat when they're Going to bomb up the hay

Do you mean hay ball Yes The hay ball to bomb up the hair? Do you mean hairball? Yes. The hairball? Don't make us laugh, I'll cough. Guys, thank you so much for listening. This is episode 34. Can you believe it? Well done, I forgot about that.

34. And before we continue, this week's sponsor is white t-shirts. Hey. Ridiculous. You want to wear a white t-shirt once and then wash it and it goes gray get yourself a white t-shirt yeah you want yellow armpits on your white t-shirt get yourself a white t-shirt pointless shouldn't sell them hey want a t-shirt that can get absolutely ruined by literally anything that touches it

get yourself a white t-shirt hang on if you're slagging off white t-shirts why do you own so many of them uh that i sleep in them all now i always forget i always forget hey want to forget how dirty they can get so quickly and that they're washed terribly get yourself a white t-shirt forget wear them for bed it's all i do i can't be trusted to wear white you can't can you spill it all over yourself. Nope. White t-shirts. All of the hope. All of the devastation. None of the glory.

There we go. Do it again. I'm not going to do it again. All of the hope. None of the glory. White t-shirts. White t-shirts. You done? Don't put a black jumper on top of them, because you'll get black fluff all over them.

You white t-shirt, won't you? You know you will. It's gutted, aren't you? You're gutted. Look at you. Look how gutted you are. Please, if you would like to sponsor the podcast, seriously,

get in touch, shagmoundanoid at gmail.com. No, no. White t-shirts. Here's the jingle. White t-shirts. White t-shirts here's the jingle white t-shirts white t-shirts stop slagging off the sponsors you've had three weeks to think of that

we had a fight about the jingle jingle we couldn't settle on a jingle jingle so this is the jingle jingle we hope you like the jingle jingle

jingle hello Jingle, we hope you like the jingle, jingle, babadoo babadoo babadoo bab, jingle! Hello and welcome back to this week's Coughcast with me, Rosie. That's not cool, that's not cool at all. Hello everyone, thank you so much for listening, you absolute legends. It's lovely to have you back, it's lovely to be back. Hey, I've been away, like like for a while haven't i this is what we're about to do now will be the longest conversation we've had in a fortnight it's it's actually a little bit sad it really isn't it to be fair we obviously are a real married couple fully blown real married couple

uh chris has been on strictly so i've hardly seen him at all still on still on strictly you're doing very well we'll talk about that in a minute um and we haven't seen each other and Chris has been on Strictly so I've hardly seen him at all. Still on. Still on Strictly. Yeah. Doing very well. We'll talk about that in a minute. And we haven't seen each other and this is the first face-to-face contact that we've had without a toddler.

Yeah. And we're doing it on here. Exactly. So that's... Is there anything we need to really catch up on that? I don't know because I literally just went up

and pumped a bed. So I got in from training tonight and I saw him and then I just pumped a bed. Had myself a little cheaty little power nap while i was putting him to bed hey anyone out there listening when you've got a toddler or like a child that you're going that we sort of put in the bed read him a story you just sort of lie there with him till he nods off and then we just skulk out the room it can really throw my night into disrepute because you let yourself fall asleep you're not because you let yourself fall asleep. You cannot let yourself fall asleep.

I just woke myself up snoring in his room. Like, I woke myself up by me snoring. It's not good, because that makes you... Thankfully, I feel all right. Like, I feel okay at the minute. Do you? Rosie, I had a nap yesterday. Was it yesterday?

No, Sunday, in the hotel, I had a nap. I woke up, no, no, don't be jealous. Because, honestly, all day I was like, oh, I had a couple of glasses of wine at lunch, right, with my mum and dad. And I was like, oh, I could have myself a little nap tonight. I bet you I could have a nap this afternoon. Went to sleep at four, woke up at half six.

I didn't know what was going on. Well, Chris, you've chose the worst nap time. I know, I know. What are you doing? Honestly, I'm not good at napping, man. I wake up and I just, it's honestly, it's like I'm being born. Like, I'm like crying and like kicking about and i don't

know what anything is and i'm like confused and scared that is not because you picked up that's a terrible matrix you know the matrix when they bring him out of the matrix and he's just like bald and all the pipes come out of him and he's just like why do my eyes hurt you've never used them before i'm just i'm just like that's me out of a nap i don't know what the fuck's happening it's absolutely minging I was getting sad I went to the toilet and I was getting gutted

looking in the mirror honestly I can't nap some people can nap and then wake up and they're just like boom straight on it although to be fair

just there that little five minute power nap I had in Robin's bed was pretty cool no you shouldn't be doing that because that's just before like you're going to be

going to bed in an hour or so yeah two hours hey ma'am I go to bed in an hour or so yeah two hours hey ma'am I go to bed when I want right am I still all night

listen how you'll go to bed when I tell you my friends are coming around right and we're just formed a band and we're going to practice

all night and there's nothing you can do about it listen shut the garage door you'll be fine that is so American isn't it

do you remember watching American programs when you were a kid and just being like oh why don't we practice with guitars in the

garage hey I used to at my mate's house we used to have a little band oh is that when they were all getting off with

each other yeah no no it was a different garage there was a lot less talent going on in that garage if you don't know

what we're talking about you're gonna have to go back and listen to some I can't even remember what episode it's on but it's the story of the saddest night of my life. Oh, bless your heart, man.

Tragic times. What have you been up to this week, then? Just work, like my kind of work stuff. Because I don't really have a, like, I was going to say a proper job. I do have a, like, not a normal job. You've got a couple of jobs now. I've got a few jobs, mate.

Hey, I tell you what. I'm like bloody Del Boy I swear I am Mrs Del Boy van full of stuff to flog all my jobs I'm having a lovely old time

just loads of stuff but it's just it's not like any job I've ever had in my whole life it's really strange and I'm I'm my own boss so it's a bit

frightening yeah but it's exciting but didn't you I saw on your Instagram didn't you you had something planned for tomorrow and it's exciting but didn't you i saw on instagram didn't you you had something planned for tomorrow and you procrastinated and didn't learn any of the script and then it got and then it got cancelled so i was like oh thank the lord so good there's

nothing worse than rehearse like rehearsing or learning something or doing all of the work for something and then it can remember when you were at school and you would do the homework and you'd come in and the teacher would extend the time for the whole did you have did you ever have that i'm gonna be honest with you you never did the homework i never did i never did there was times i wasn't a model student right but i was quite clever at school there was times when i would do the homework and i'd speak to all my friends on the way to school and i'd go did you do the homework oh no i didn't do it and so many of them hadn't done it that the teacher would go right we'll just bring it tomorrow instead

and i'd be raging like i'd literally if i could have i'd have stood up on the table and went i demand everyone here is punished because i've done it but i didn't have enough friends anyway we would not have gotten it to go but you know what listen oh sorry about that i'm gonna get a bit serious here you know i don't like to get serious all the time i was terrified of homework. Were you? Yeah, genuinely.

Don't get me wrong. I think it's good in moderation, but I wasn't massively academic. I scraped through school. I don't, I did okay. And I stayed in the right classes and stuff. But I used to just get so scared of homework

because I just really struggled yeah honest to god I really struggled with it and I'm I'm a bit I'm not very good at concentrating I'm

a bit like the and just doing it at home in a home environment I didn't like it at all well you had brother and sister as well didn't you

yeah I remember right when I was when I was at school and I was trying to do homework I had friends who would do it

on Friday night bastards they'd do the homework on Friday night and they'd have the full weekend because their parents would be like

look get the homework out of the way do it on Friday night and you've got your full weekend I used to do I'll never forget it right

I get a really weird feeling when I think about it I would be trying to do my homework on a Sunday afternoon right and my dad

would be watching like shite on the telly. What was it, Heartbeat? Heartbeat or Antiques Roadshow or just some wildlife documentaries or something. And because I had homework to do, what he was watching was suddenly the most interesting shit. It was suddenly the most interesting thing.

I was like, oh things oh god what do them penguins do dad what the blokes the blokes look after that that's interesting get your homework done you little twat

honestly I was just fixated on whatever he was watching and sometimes genuinely you know how I've got that thing

how my favourite god I don't know if this is going to even make sense but my favourite thing is to be lying on the sofa watching Simpsons while someone's

pottering on in the kitchen for some reason that's my favourite thing me usually pottering on yeah I want you to my favorite thing is to be lying on the sofa watching simpsons while someone's pottering on in the kitchen for some reason that's me usually pottering on yeah i want you to put my perfect night in is me lying on the sofa watching the simpsons and rosie pottering on in the kitchen you want me to just be like making bread or something yeah just cooking or baking or cleaning something but really quietly um but sometimes on a sunday afternoon i'll be like oh i've got a sunday afternoon and i'll sit and i'm like there's nothing and there's more there's like 10 times more channels now maybe 100 times more channels and i was like and now there's just nothing on oh there's still nothing there was four channels and it was rubbish and i was

just buzzing because i just didn't want to do my homework didn't want to do it no well i i used to just cry because it would be monday morning yeah and i'd get upset my mom and dad would be like why are you upset i'd be like because i've done have to be home in bed. I'd be like, but why haven't you? I'd be like, because I was just, I was playing out and I was just snogging people. There was a teacher at school that snogged people

in a garage class, classy. There was a teacher who used to full-on bully me, right? He was an absolute pillock. I'm not going to say his name because I slagged him off on Twitter once and he tried to get a lawyer.

Loser. Oh, yeah. Loser. So, he, I remember one time some there was some kind of weird thing where we all went out our lessons and then we all got called back it was the last year term we all went to a lesson then we all got called back to a form class for some reason so we went into his lesson and then his form class came in and they were like no sir we have to come back in and i stood up and i was like oh i said i was a bit obnoxious i said something like oh nice one and like i stood up and he was like nice one and he went right four sides of lines and he gave us like four bits of paper

he's like four sides of lines i will not shout nice one or whatever and blah blah blah and uh obviously because i'm an idiot i went what's fine it's the last day of term, I've got two weeks to do them. And he went, I want them in by tonight. And I burst out crying. Oh. He knew how to push me buttons. He should have just went, nice one. Did you ever get detention? Nah.

Never? Never got detention. I once got in detention. Me and my friends got put in a classroom detention. It was the most random thing. Somebody had had a poo outside the classroom. No idea who. I've got a mouth full of wine.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. I need so much. Somebody had a poo outside the classroom. A human had had a poo outside the classroom. On the floor? On the floor. And our class were all crowded around it

laughing their heads off all crowded around it just like do you know what I mean and then for some reason it escalated and the whole

class got put on detention and you know when you're like why am I why have I been put on detention when somebody's

had a shit on the floor and it wasn't me and I was just laughing 100% agree 100% agree. 100% agree. Can I tell you? If you are stupid enough to stand around

and point at a human turd and laugh your head off, you deserve detention. Can I tell you what they did? What? What? I remember one of the teachers

just came along with a, like, you know, on the olden days, it wasn't even that long ago when I went to school, God, it was, but like, you know when they had them days it wasn't even that long ago when I was at school god it was but like

you know when they had them red buckets with like fire road on and they used to have like sand in or something shut up man they poured sand on it

no they just put one of them buckets on top of the shit in the middle of the corridor trapped it just kind of put it on top because I think they were like

what is the protocol for human turd wow I know I got put in detention for that wow so good times what did you wipe your arse with Because I think they were like, what is the protocol for human turd? Wow. I know. I got put in detention for that. Wow. So, good times.

What did you wipe your arse with? What do you mean? I didn't do it. You did, man. Come on. Own up right now. Come on. What did you wipe your bum with? I didn't do it.

I promise you. There's only one time I pooed myself at school. And I don't want to talk about it. You've got to now. Podcast rules. I didn't. I mean, my mum was horrified because I was only young

yeah and but not as young as what you might think and she said that I came home from school

and she was making tea and she was just like and she could smell something and she checked everyone's feet like we didn't have she checked everyone's shoes and she was just like and she could smell something and she checked everyone's feet like we didn't have a shoe checked everyone's shoes

and she was like what is that smell? and she said it was about an hour later and she was stood next to me and I stuck up shit and she like she like opened my skirt and my tights and that

and my knickers and she said there was just like a dry cow pat in my knickers and I just hadn't I just left it in there

but it turns out that you know what it is I don't believe you because them GCSEs can be stressful I was just that kid I just didn't really care

I didn't care and I just like I didn't care and I just like I didn't care how busy are you how busy was your schedule as a school kid that you

shat yourself came home time for your mum to realise in an hour so for you to come home I was only a kid I honestly

I was probably about five or six from you to come home from school right and then to be lingering around for long enough for your mom to smell it then to check everyone's shoes and then for your mom to then wait an hour later and then the fresh prince must have been on by then yeah probably she said it was like a dry cow pat horrendous and i was. And I was just like... Not surprised. I was a kid. So that's what I've been up to. It had nothing to do with what I've been up to, really. But what have you been up to?

What have I been up to? Well, a little service announcement. I mean, I should have put this as the sponsor, really. But my tour has just been extended. I need you all to know that. I know. Why don't you like being home anymore?

Because someone keeps shitting herself around the house. Robin is currently just learning. Yeah, so the tour has been extended in the autumn of 2020. Manchester's been added. Dublin's been added. Another London date. Loads more places. Go on my website, chris.comedy.com slash gigs to get it.

Rosie will not be there. Hallelujah. Just me and Carl Hutchinson. That's what you think. That's what you think, babes, don't you? If I could take you and Robin with us, I would, but I can't. I've got stuff on, Mum. I'd love some new sofas, so if this sells out, we are quids in. No sofas.

We're not getting any sofas. You know I want to change one of the sofas. Oh, I'm sick of it. Sick of it. But this week I've been Charleston-ing haven't I? You bloody have. Do you know me bloody Charleston? What a rollercoaster of emotion that show is. Honestly. I know. I know.

I mean you're in it and I get it. I'm bloody done in from it. And I'm not even in the booger. It's crazy. So I got hammered by the judges first week and then I thought I was

doing alright that cha-cha that I did the cha-cha-cha I mean it was all Chris it was okay come on

we've talked about this you're not a dancer yeah but I have no frame of reference for what it was like like I don't know if it's good or not

because I don't know what dancing is yeah but you don't want them to bullshit you exactly it's not bullshit come dancing. No, no, no.

Do you know what I mean? They can't sit there and go, that was really good. Yeah, exactly. You've really tried hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that would be ridiculous because then it wouldn't be a competition

because they'd just say everyone was good. So they've got to be honest. Of course. But I've turned it up this week. Did me Charleston. You did. Turned. Turned.

I've never sweated like anything in my life than doing that dance. The amount of sweat. I was changing, I was going through a couple of t-shirts a day. Yeah, it's intense. Unbelievable.

I try to tell you this. All of you, like the first week wasn't that bad but that Charleston is unbelievable, man. Every single thing in your body is moving

in every single part of the dance. Done me shoulder in, done me side in, me bum, didn't know it could hurt your bum. Hurt me bum. Got muscles in your bum. It's not something you move very often.

I don't move me bum very often, no. But that was all good. But I'm worried, I'm worried that I'm going to drop back down this week. Why? Because it's hard.

What are you doing? American Smooth Foxtrot to Heaven. We're in heaven. And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak And I seem to find the happiness I seek When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek It's so hard

I watched Fred Astaire I watched some clips of Fred Astaire Yeah You can't be using him as like a reference So good He's so good he's so good that's who I'm playing in the movie Top Hat

so I'm playing Fred Astaire and Karen's playing Ginger Rogers or whatever obviously Karen can play Ginger Rogers standing on her head because she's fantastic I know

I still feel so sorry for them professional dancers the dancers when they're just dancing with the other pros bless them it's ridiculous but it's like

do you know how I just sang me and you joined in yeah yeah you can't sing no and that was that sang there and you joined in yeah yeah you can't sing no and that was that upset me whenever you join in

singing I'm like mate thank you very much but that must be what I take for them every week the fact that they keep me straight

they're like just keeping happy in that is good on them listen fair play to the pros all applause all applause on that show

well done there's points Rosie when me and Karen are training right and I'll do a bit and she goes yeah excellent perfect that was perfect and I do a bit and she goes yeah excellent perfect

that was perfect and I think was it perfect what I just did there that thing I just did there wasn't perfect clomping along the floor with sweat all over us

uncoordinated losing me balance Karen was that was that perfect was it I mean so lovely perfect for you for me yeah perfect for a beginner yeah in her head just probably saying for a fucking idiot Karen, was that perfect? Was it? I mean, so lovely. Perfect for you.

For me, yeah. Perfect for a beginner. In her head, just probably saying, for a fucking idiot. Yeah, well, yes, exactly. Absolutely perfect. For a fucking idiot. For a fucking elephant. Chris, you nailed that.

For a fucking idiot. Well, there you go. That's probably what she was doing, signing in her head. And do you know what? I don't blame her. No, me neither. But are you still enjoying it?

Do you know what? I am. I really am. And I've got to be honest with you whenever i support anyone who's done the show you're like me we're both skeptical of stuff and whenever i support anyone greg rutherford simon rimmer everyone who's done it who i knew and they were like oh it's amazing i was like is it is it amazing or are you just buzzing that you're on a big show yeah it's amazing it is when you're in it it's a bubble it's a little bubble and you're in it and you're standing on that honestly when you're standing on them stairs and they're ready to see who's gone through or not it's one of the

most nerve-wracking things i've ever had to do yeah no i can imagine obviously in reality it's not up there with when i was standing outside the delivery ward wondering if you know the c-section had gone well and you were and robin was going to you know be born it's not on that level but in the moment it feels like it is because you're just in this bubble and it's it's unbelievable yeah it's crazy when we when we got our names called if you watch the if you watch the results show again if you've got an eye player right we get our names called we're like hug each other me and karen and we go ah and the camera goes off to someone else and you hear all the crowd. They die down from cheering, and they go, oh, really quickly.

And they never edited it out. It's because she fell down the stairs because I was pushing her so much. No way. Yeah, because I was jumping around. Chris. And we're on a step, and she fell down the stairs, and she fell backwards and grabbed onto the banister. And I picked her back up, and everyone was just like, what a dick. Absolutely shocking.

Yeah, she was fine. I pulled her back up, but to be fair, she's a solid ball okay yeah she was fine I pulled her back up but to be fair she's solid she's a solid ball of muscle I'd worry about the stairs if I was you it's time for what's your beef

what every every time oh you get excited don't you but no it's fine we've got a jingle it's a good jingle it's a very good let's play this

jingle what's your beef what's your beef what's your beef what's your beef what is your beef What's your beef What is your beef Tell you what I'll see you in court

Ladies first As always Love of my life Watch your beef So this is a bit hard Because you've been away For a while And we haven't seen each other

And I have genuinely missed you And I know you've missed us I've missed you loads But to be honest When you come back Yeah you are a nightmare. Really? Just everything. You notice everything.

Like four things you've said already. Yeah. Why is the doorbell blue? Yeah. Why is that scooter outside? Yeah. Why is that door open? Yeah.

And why is that plant pot over there? Yeah. Why do you need to know? Eh? Why do you need to know eh why do you need to know everything constantly I just like to see what's been going on

in my domain when I get back but everything is fine here everything is fine you don't need to know not fine because the doorbell's blue I don't know why

I don't know why the light's on but why does that matter because I wonder what happened I really hate it how you come back and you just question everything

putting me on edge gaslighting gaslighting again all you're doing everything. Puts me on edge. Okay. Gaslighting. It's gaslighting again. I'm going to gaslight you again. All you're doing to us. But my scooter's outside in the rain. Are you just upset that I'm faster than your scooter and you're trying to rust the bearings on the wheels? No, I just find it annoying. Like, I didn't notice that it was outside.

Okay. And I find it irritates us that you just come home and whinge. Right, okay. Sorry. You go away. I miss you. You come home. You just notice things

that aren't the same as when you left. Running me finger along shelves and looking at the dust on me fingers. It's not far off that, babe. It's not far off that and it's really upsetting.

I know. I do get in my own head a bit and I'm like, everything's changed and I need to say to myself, well, of course, everything's changed. You haven't been here?

I've been away a week and a bit and she's been here just with her and the band so I do get it. Oh, wow. Oh, I didn't think you'd... been here I've been away a week and a bit and she's been here just with her in the bin so I do get it oh wow oh I didn't think you'd no I do no I'm going to concede

on that one I do get it I shouldn't would you stop doing it yeah would you stop leaving your scooter outside in the pissing down rain I don't give a shit

about your scooter I didn't even know it was there yeah just some things though I can't get away with like when I've been away for a while

and I come back and some things are different like what earlier on in the kitchen there was a weird smell i'll check your niggas you chat no i am sorry i am sorry i'll try and work on that i will try and work on that good well that was a nice beef that was good um what's your beef with me rosie i'm really sorry my beef with you this week

is your fucking cough. I'm sick of it. What are you talking about? It's so loud. You've got the loudest cough in the world. And do you know what you've been doing? It was all week. Coughing directly down the fucking phone into me ears.

And honestly, I've lost count of the amount of times I have to just whip the phone away from me ear and point it in the room. It's cough call. Honestly, I've known nothing. You, I don't... I've told you this before, right? I don from my ear it's it's honestly i've known nothing you i don't i've told you this before right i don't know if it's because you're a singer i don't know because you can project your voice really loud but your cough hits a fucking note somehow and it just

it just penetrates the inside of my brain and it's horrendous do you know i'm really happy but you're not coughing into the mic which is so good for our listeners, and I've got these headphones on, so it's shielding me from this, so it hasn't bothered us that much during the podcast. But you're just like, you get ready and you go, and you like breathe in and your tongue comes out and makes a U-shape. It does not come out.

It does not come out. That sounds awful. Your tongue comes out and makes a U-shape, like a five-year-old coughing, right? And you go like... And you just... There we're gone. There it is.

Great. My tongue... Take that back. That sounds like something out of a flippin' horror movie. You know the meme of that cat, where the cat's like... And it's like, this is how toddlers cough. That's how you cough?

Right. I'm laughing because you've said that before about me cough. I think it's because I've got a good diaphragm. It is. It's because you're said that before about me cough i think it's because i've got a good diaphragm it is it's because you're a good singer and you can hit notes and the cough comes out it's like oh my god it's horrible your cough is hard and you've been doing it down the phone to us all week all week on the phone call we're just talking and i just hear like that and when you do that i just push the phone away from me and I just I would stretch my arm as far as I can

like honestly like I don't know like a wave like I'm waving someone off going to war and I just hold my phone as far away as possible and I wait for you to stop

and I put it in and I've bit my tongue and I haven't said anything when we're away because I've done it before because I've done it before when we're away I've said stop coughing

down the phone and you've flipped out and put the phone down you tell us off for everything stop coughing stop drinking stop eating stop've flipped out and put the phone down you tell us off for everything stop coughing stop drinking stop eating stop talking

do you know what it is don't fucking call us anymore don't ring us anymore have some phone etiquette will you no I haven't got time you're calling us in between shit

that I'm doing don't ring us I don't right there you go right this is the end of the beef we're having an argument don't call me anymore when you're away

let's just not speak to each other. Right, let's write letters, eh? Let's be pen pals. All right, let's write letters. I guarantee you, every letter I get off you, there'll be fucking chocolate smeared on it.

There'll be coffee spilled on it. Shut up. You'll have left it out in the rain with me scooter. You're horrible. You are horrible to me. No. Fucking hate that.

Honestly, did you see how much I recoiled there? Hate you. It's time for... Questions from the public. Public. Public. Stop coughing. I know, I'm so...

Listen, I genuinely am sorry. I don't want to be that person who just coughs and doesn't realise that they're coughing because I do know I'm coughing. I just can't help it. And we don't ever want to not give you a podcast because we love doing it. And you know, we hope that you like it as well. So I'm so sorry for coughing. Cough, cough, cough, cough. Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Jimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder.

April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit TSO.ca This Friday You must be very careful, Margaret It's a girl Witness the birth Bad things will start to happen Evil things

Of evil It's all You know, don't The first omen I believe the girl is to be the mother Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six.

It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The first omen. The Impeders Friday.

Get tickets now. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th, when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play.

Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. Hi both. Long-time listener, first-time emailer. Get in. That's nice, isn't it? That's what they say on the radio. Oh, just framed a little life there for us.

I know. After the question on this week's podcast about someone hearing their neighbour having sex next door, so that was last week's, I can top this as mine borders on a danger shag. We live next door to my in-laws in a semi-detached and our beds are literally opposite sides of the wall. Horrific.

That's horrible, isn't it? I will never understand people who move into the same street as their family. I'll never understand it. I know. If you're going to move out, move out. Leave. Yeah. It says here,

I'm not sure what I'm more terrified of, them hearing us or us hearing them. What do you think is worse? Oh. Hearing them is worse than them hearing you, surely. Depends, doesn't it, I suppose. It depends. So if you come in and you have mad drunken sex,

where you're just going for it and being ridiculous and breaking down boundaries and just going off it and shouting and screaming, then if they hear that and you wake up in the morning and you can't really remember it and they've heard it, that's pretty bad. But if you hear them just doing some

creaky bed missionary then it's not too bad well put it into your life right my well my mum and dad aren't together anymore

we'll say my mum and dad are still together what would you rather them hear us having sex or you hearing them having sex oh would you rather

hear them than them hear us I'd probably just I think I'd be quite embarrassed if they heard us that's the thing Would you rather hear them than them hear us? I'd probably just be... I think I'd be quite embarrassed if they heard us. That's the thing. It's my embarrassment then.

I'd also be embarrassed if we heard them but I think I would just put some music on or put some headphones in or something. Do you know what I mean? I don't know.

My mum and dad only had sex three times so he wouldn't really know. I'll be right then. My mum and dad blatantly used to hear us when we used to go back to my house me and you when I used to go back to my mum and dad's. Oh, do you so you wouldn't really know. I'll be right then. My mum and dad blatantly used to hear us when we used to go back to my house, me and you, when I used to go back to my mum and dad's. Oh, do you think?

Ah, they must have done, man. First night I took you back, they must have done. It wasn't until we moved in that we were slightly... Don't say that, Josh. Don't tell everybody that we had sex on the first night,

like dirty hooligans. I've known you for years. It's not the same. Now that we live in an older house with thicker walls and a little bit bigger i realize how genuinely small my mom and dad's sort of new build house was yeah well i could hear your mom and dad snoring when we stayed over yeah so they could play to hear it oh absolutely yeah they heard everything they heard everything they heard everything oh that's not nice is it i feel a bit dirty funny games something something so strange about hearing people having oh it's bad isn't it that's not nice is it I feel a bit dirty fun and games

something so strange about hearing people having sex it's like so oppressive I don't know why it really I don't know if it's the prude in us

but I just when I hear people having sex I get really angry yeah do you know we didn't talk about this right last week I was thinking about it

when I listened back and I was like oh because we were talking about that most days do you know like on do you know like Love Island and stuff. Do you know, like on, do you know like Love Island and stuff?

And do you know, like in sometimes when people tell you about holidays and that, I could never be in a room with somebody. Nah. Where they're having sex. Same. I haven't had that. I've never had that friendship group where me mates have just been getting off with somebody in the room.

Yeah. That does not sit well with me. Are we prudes? Are we prudes? I think we are prudes. Are we? I don't know. Are we just older now? I'm not sure, but yeah, I know what you mean.

Never happened to us when I was younger. I don't think, no. I think the closest I've been to that is the garage. The garage kissing. Yeah, probably. The love bites in the garage. Yeah, I don't think I've ever been. Did I never tell you about my mate from Manchester?

Oh, no, what? Who said he had a threesome with his mate and he had to stop. Why? So it was him and his mate having sex. I mean, I don't know who these people are who are having threesomes. I've said it before and I'll say it again.

Too much admin involved in a threesome for me. It's awkward enough having sex with one person and someone else in the mix. I don't know what he's doing. Animals. Anyway, him and his mate were with some girl and they were like... I don't know what he's doing. Animals. Anyway, him and his mate were with some girl and they were like,

I don't know if it was a part of Threesome, but they were just like, I'm so sorry, listeners. I thought we were just like taking turns. They love it, man. How are we?

They were taking turns, but he said that it was his turn and he kind of was having sex with a girl and he looked over and his mate was in the corner just sorting himself out while watching him and the girl.

And he was going, go on, Kev. Go on, Kev. And he goes, I had to stop. Oh, no. Because he's a little wank and cheerleader in the car. No, that's all he's made. A little tossing hype man. Go on, Kev.

You can do it. It's true. That would put you right off, wouldn't it? Oh, I'd hate that so much. I'd hate it so much. I know. It doesn't... I've not ever been that...

I don't know. It's so boring. It's not my... Yeah, it's not my thing. But, you know, good on people who it is. You know, everyone's... Everyone's welcome to their own experiences. But I'm aright for seeing my best mate having sex with somebody.

Yeah, I'm all right for seeing anyone have sex, to be fair. Anyone I know. I'm all right for it. Do they do it in hostels? I've never stayed in a hostel or anything. We are so sheltered. Aren't we? I've never stayed in a hostel.

I've never stayed in a hostel, but do they do it in them? Can I just say, right? Am I a snob? But you know when someone, I speak to someone, I spoke to someone the other day, I don't want to say who it is, but I was speaking to someone the other day, and they were going, oh, yeah, I went to Columbia or whatever. Was it Columbia?

It was somewhere like that. Sorry. And they went, oh, yeah, and I went, oh, yeah. And, oh, I was staying in this hostel there. And as soon as someone tells us about the holiday, as soon as they say they're staying in a hostel, I stop listening. Why? I just switch off.

I think I'm not interested in this story anymore. Because they look disgusting. I'm not interested. What? I don switch off. I think I'm not interested in this story anymore. Because they look disgusting. I'm not interested. I don't understand hostels. Oh, do you want to be a grown-up and sleep in bunk beds with loads of other grown-ups? No, I'm all right. I did it at Thurston and it was shit when I was 11.

Wanted to go home. Do you want to experience what it's like to be in a boarding school for one night with strangers on holiday? Yeah, pissed. Boiling hot, probably no air conditioning. Hey, don't worry about it though. One of on holiday. What? Pissed. Boiling hot. Probably no air conditioning. Hey, don't worry about it, though.

One of them's going to have an acoustic guitar. Oh, great. He'll start singing. He'll be good crack. They'll all have manky, horrible, manky, matty, stinky hair on the pillars. Oh, it's not my cup of tea. Hey, we are boring old twats, me and you. I don't know.

I just think. Honestly, when someone says they're going on a caravan, when someone says they've gone camping, Now, don't know I just think some honestly when someone says they're going on a caravan when someone says they've gone camping now don't caravans camping I can deal with

with hostels went away for the weekend oh it was lush oh where did you go like oh the caravan I'm gone I'm gone I'm thinking of something else

I'm sorry I think caravans are a little bit different to a hostel where it's just loads of people with knee shoes on yeah with knee shoes on in my head oh you know what it is in the hostels as well they would not just of people with knee shoes on. Yeah. With knee shoes on.

In my head. Oh, you know what it is in the hostels as well. They would, not just would they have knee shoes on, the bottoms of their feet will be scruffy off walking around barefoot in the hostel. Yeah, of course. It'll be that thing where you go into the shower and the shower curtain's wet off someone else's spit and water. Awful.

Horrible. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've watched a lot of documentaries, right? Yeah. And they always look disgusting. Yeah. So I'm arid for them personally but listeners get in touch

if you've stayed in any really nice hostels I'd love to see some pictures I'd love to see some evidence of this or give us some horrible hostel stories

if you've got some shagmarriedinord at gmail.com I think just to clarify though on that I think I'm thinking that now

as a 33 year old woman with my own house yeah probably when I was 80, 19 it might not have bothered us as much yeah it would have

still bothered me I know it would have still bothered you but me I was just getting over shitting myself so at that age you know I would have

still I wouldn't have minded also but now well even GCSEs it happened at your A levels didn't it oh

uni didn't even go to didn't even do A-levels. No. Okay. Hi. So to give you the rundown, there are three of us in our office.

Two of them are epic, ofs, but we have one colleague, naming no names, who has the most irritating habit. She laughs after everything she says. It would be okay if she was funny, but she basically says good morning,

then laughs. It is constant all day, every day. That sounds awful, doesn't it? Once you notice something like that, that's it. So what is she like? She's like, morning. Yeah.

Have you had a good day? Yeah, it'll be that. I hate that. Did you watch the telly last night? Did you watch the Michael Jackson documentary? You're laughing at that for me, pervert. Oh, I found it a bit upsetting. Yeah, I know what you mean.

I think in her defence, and I'm going to have to jump to her defence here, I think it's a nerves thing. You don't know her? I know, but I automatically feel sorry for her and I'm irritated by her at the same time. I don't even know this woman I've already got a very complex relationship with her

It's definitely a nerve sink It must be a nerve sink especially if you've just said there on your email that two of the people in the office are epic and one of them isn't so you and this other person are quite tight so this other person who giggles all the time is probably a little bit nervous

of your two relationship Also three of you in the office What the hell's going on? What is this office? Where do you work? I don't know. It must be the smallest... Pretty little office.

Three people in an office. What could that job be? What only needs three people? I don't know. The, um... A little warehouse? The Cadbury's Complaints Department? There'd only be one in there wouldn't get any

i worked in office once and there was only four of us in the office yeah i work when i worked at inland revenue um the day staff used to leave as the night staff came in and i was the night staff the night staff was just teenagers and absolute you know college students and layabouts and uh they used to hide all their stuff and like unplug the phones and that and we were in like a total we were in like a dumbed down version of their office and we all used to bring like foot long subways in and that and it was essentially no one did anything but the daytime staff used to hide everything hide everything why because they didn't trust you all the stationary would be get hidden everything would get put away and we were doing again i've talked about this before i have no idea what i was doing in that office.

No, I worked there as well. I learned how to touch type at Inland Revenue. Yeah, no idea what I was doing. No, me neither. Mate, no idea. They just told us the steps and I did them. That was that. Same.

I just went for this. A little woman used to come around with a sausage sandwich. You loved her, didn't you? She was my favourite. Still think about her now. Three people in an office. What could that possibly be? Three people.

One of them, two of them are epic and one of them's not. That's devastating. Sad, isn her now. Three people in an office. What could that possibly be? Three people. One of them, two of them are epic and one of them's not. That's devastating. Sad, isn't it? And she laughs after everything. What if she's the boss? No, not if she laughs after everything.

There's another question here. My question is, would you tell her how irritating you find her? Also, what is the worst habit of a colleague you've had to endure?

Would you tell her? You heartless fucker. Would you tell her how irritating you find her? No. Can you imagine? That's the worst fucker. Would you tell her how irritating you're fucking? No. Can you imagine? That's the worst conversation ever.

Excuse me, Susan, but you are extremely irritating. Oh. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, do you think? Ha, ha, ha. Do you think so? Ha, ha, ha. Oh, God, lover. Don't tell her.

Listen, listen, please, please, for the love of God, just take it that you might just be a little bit nervous i mean i don't know that you might have known each other for ages and you know but i don't know it might just be something to put on it might be a nervous thing but i understand once you hear something like that it's impossible to unhear it god it's bad what's the worst habit of a colleague you've had to endure well i worked somewhere once and somebody oh i absolutely loved him as well he was like such a nice guy but he had such bad b.o that the boss the boss instead of like because he really didn't want to tell him because we were all like quite

good mates and it was just like it was so hard i know yeah and he was a student so i know it was that thing i know it sounds silly but it was probably that thing of like, he was away from home. Yeah. You know, probably didn't know how to do his washing properly or whatever. He just,

oh God, it's drunk. And so my boss, when I worked there, I was only about 17 when I worked there, he went out one day and he pretended that somebody was giving away deodorant

in the shopping centre. And so he came in and he just gave everyone a bottle of deodorant. He's like, somebody, they've been giving these out. So he gave them to everyone. Yeah. And he just pretended that somebody was giving them out. So that everybody got a bottle of deodorant.

And he gave them to everyone. And he gave them to everybody. Not just him. There's three deodorants. Wow. How many in the office? Because if there was three, that's not a very big gesture. Oh, no, it wasn't.

It was a shop. If there was three people, that's not a very good gesture. I know. There was about five of us, so he had to buy like five sprays of things. Wow. And yeah, he's still strong. Hi, Rosie and Chris. I kind of love this.

It's ridiculous, but I kind of love it. Okay. In Fireman Sam great all the fires are started by that little brat in Norman Norman Price yeah and yet he has never ended up in trouble for his actions quite right which is true I saw a theory somewhere once that he was actually fireman Sam secret love child and that's why he never gets in trouble. What do you both think? Well, I'm glad this has come up because I've got a theory about Norman Price as well.

Norman Price! Norman! Norman Price! I think Norman Price is the hero of that show. Norman Price is... Why? He's the one who starts the fires? Yes. And I'll tell you what. Oh, mum! We're talking Pontypandy here, right?

We're talking a tiny little town, tiny little Welsh village, right? With nothing going on. Is it called Pontypandy? Pontypandy. Yeah. We're talking a tiny little Welsh village with nothing going on, right?

Looks like it. Yet, yet, the fire department have a massive headquarters. They've got a boat. They've got a helicopter. I think they've got a plane. They've got a 4x4 that can go up mountains and stuff

right because of Norman Price yeah you know when the council keeping them in business yeah you know when the council don't use all that

at the end of their tax year the council are always fanning on with the roads a bit more so they use all their money so they get the same money next year oh they just put unnecessary

traffic lights everywhere yeah so they get the same money next year for the traffic thing yeah same Norman Price

is keeping them in business he is keeping them in business. He is keeping that fire station running single-handedly. I think you're right. He's a fucking hero, Norman Price. A hero. Yeah. He is the hero next door. He's the real hero next door.

Norman is the hero next door. If I'm in Sam and them, they would have nothing to do. They'd all be fat, overweight, sitting on their arse. They wouldn't even have a calendar. I genuinely think you're right. Thank you. So glad this came up. Why his mum hasn't just given up on that shop? Because

I was at the restaurant. Get burned down every other week. The most racist Italian named character in all of cartoons. What's her name? Bella Lasagna. No she's not. I swear to God she's called Bella Lasagna. Yeah. I swear to God she's called Bella Lasagna I swear to god she's called Bella Lasagna she's the only Italian person

in the whole place and she's called Bella Lasagna is it too Welsh though? no I think she's Italian and shit Bella Lasagna absolutely amazing they'll have changed that probably's just Italian and shit. Bella lasagna. Absolutely amazing. That, they'll have changed that with the new one. Probably now, but she was definitely called Bella lasagna. Fantastic.

That's beautiful, that like. It's one of the best things on TV, Fireman Sam. It's amazing. The new one's horrible though. Oh, I don't know why they've changed it. The animation was so nice now. It's like the sort of little puppets now. It's just minging.

Long live all the old school stuff. All right. That's a slogan long live all the old schools no fucking gave up halfway through your slogan there didn't you i can't think hang on no i can't bet on that long live all the old school stuff long live it may it live for long bella lasagna we love you okay so just to let you in everyone i've got another question but it mentions poo again i don't care me no i chris we talked about poo i poo myself we're talking about poo in the corridor give the people what they want and by the people i mean me do you want to hear this story let's

see how bad it is we'll cut it out if it's terrible. It's actually really good, but it's about why did we... We are never going to win a podcast award. Yeah, we will. What, shit married annoyed? Hi, Rosie and Chris. It's not a question,

but a story that I thought you'd appreciate. Fantastic. Probably because it's about shit and the northern level that we're at. Great. Me and my boyfriend hadn't been together long and I picked him up for a night out and obviously I went home with him.

Boom, boom. Anyway, we both fell asleep and about 6am I woke up and he was gone. Confused, I sat up to go and look for him. There was a massive wet patch on the bed and I thought, fuck's sake, he's pissed the bed and i thought fuck's sake he's pissed the bed imagine that on a one-night stand unbelievable that does happen though doesn't it yeah and she's still with him now well well okay strap your boots ramsey okay because that's

just the beginning okay um little did i know what awaited me when I got up. His bedroom is right next door to the front door. Right, he must sleep downstairs. Yeah. Or in the flat. I got up to be greeted by a pile of human shit lying at the front door. I couldn't believe my eyes. I walked through the living room where more piles of human poo followed along the way. When I got to the bathroom door, I asked if he was okay.

I opened the door, he was just sat on the toilet, shitty boxers on the floor staring at me. Not knowing what to do, I put on the rubber gloves and cleaned it all up and got back into bed. We've never talked about it before and I don't even know if he remembers. I'm still traumatised by it two years later. But needless to say, I love him and we're still together. What the actual fuck is happening? Why have they never spoke about this? That is... I mean, there's settling and then there's settling.

Like, that's what rabbits do. That's what rabbits do when they've got diarrhoea. They just poo everywhere. He's pooed all the way to the bathroom. That's unbelievable. She's seen him and they've never spoke about it since. So he was hammered then. He must have been hammered.

I'm guessing, but why not? What are you saying? On the first night, on a one-night stand. Not even her house, his house. She's in his night on a one-night stand not even her house his house she's in his house on a one-night stand it's not a one-night stand they hadn't been together long oh they hadn't been together long so but they hadn't been together long she went to his house after a night out heavens above his house after night got the rubber gloves on, cleaned his own dirt off his own floor. Went back to bed, never spoke of it. Hasn't mentioned it since.

This guy. Who is this? Who is this legend? Who gets away with that? Scott, please! Two years later! Could, right, serious question. If I'd just started going out with somebody no and i had

seen them poo all the way to the toilet yeah and i'd had to clean it up no i don't think i'd go out with them anymore no well i wouldn't clean it up no no i wouldn't clean it up i got back into bed as well. She just got back into bed. What the... Love. You know what I mean? Are you alright, babe? I've heard of low standards, love, but good lord. Are you alright?

Jesus. Do you want a message back in? This bloke must have a dick like a Pringles tube. Oh, that's not a good thing. That's not good. I just meant you could open it And put stuff in it Oh that's nice

I love storage Storage dick And I stayed with him It's time for this week's Celebrity Question Celebrity Celebrity Question

Celebrity Question And this week It is one of my best friends In the world The writer and creator Of Heaven Also the writer and creator of Heaven, also the writer and creator of Murder on the Blackpool Express,

and Death on the Tyne, and a new one coming out soon on UK Gold, starring Johnny Vegas and all that. It is the fantastic... And all that. I just didn't want to list the whole cast. It is the fantastic, standard comedian and writer, Mr. Jason Cooke. Hi, Chris and Rosie.

Jason Cooke here. My question for you two is, who out of the two of you has the most annoying friends? Oh, he's a bastard, isn't he? That's a good question. That's a really, he's a, oh, he loves a bit of this. Oh, well. Trying to end the podcast, isn't he?

I know. Who was, well. I love that. that sorry can I just I was just about to go can we even answer this and you're now trying to answer it immediately

I don't know if we can answer it I don't even know if our friends listen I don't think my friends listen and if they do we'll let them off

with it if they don't fuck them one of our friends one of our equal friends Rachel Fleming has just started listening she said to me

I started listening to the podcast it's quite funny innit brilliant I went brilliant Rachel surprise surprise surprise motherfucker surprise motherfucker

wow I I would obviously say your friends are more of a shit than my friends because my friends are my friends well there you go

yeah why are my friends ignored one of your friends insists on bringing a kid round when we've got Robin looked after

by someone it's our favourite day to come round it's our favourite day well I absolutely love Nancy I know exactly who you're talking about

I know you're talking about Steph and Nancy but I adore Nancy so I don't mind that I've said it to her as well for a joke but I'm joking what about you

I don't know no your friends are alright actually I get on with them quite you? I don't know. No, your friends are all right, actually. I get on with them quite well. Yeah. We're all right. We're lucky in the friends department. We are. I was totally joking about Steph.

We are. Yeah, whatever. No, because I'm now at an age where I don't have any friends who irritate me. Yeah, I've got rid of everyone who I don't like. Get rid of that shit. You don't need that dead weight. And I don't mean that in a bad way. If somebody else will really like them, they'll have other friends.

But not everyone in this world is meant to get on just because you've known someone for a long amount of time doesn't mean that you're meant to be friends and you've got anything in common so just don't be friends with them anymore yeah good point if there's someone in your friendship group who you just think do i have to invite them no don't be friends with them i know if People get so upset and people get so annoyed. But it's like not everyone is meant, there's so many people in the world, not everybody's meant to get on.

Yeah. Fair point. And just because you've known someone since school doesn't mean you've got to hang around with them still. I totally, wholly agree. Yeah. It's something you learn as you get older though.

Yeah. Do you know what? Lads who were bloody giving them suckers to them girls in the garage, I haven't supported them for years. We fell out. Just lost contact. I can't imagine why.

Pitch black in there. I never saw them since that night. Still in there now. Imagine if they were still in there now 18 years later. It's more than 18 years.

God, I don't even want to do the maths. It would make us sad. Oh my God. Yeah. What's more than 18 years. God, I don't even want to do the maths, it would make us sad. Oh my God. Yeah. What's your longest friendship? Um, probably my friend Lauren.

We've been friends since, uh, I was, oh no, no, Angela and Steph. Yeah. Angela,

definitely Angela and Steph. We've been friends since I was like 14. And they are still my very best friends. Wow. But we met each other through a hobby right okay when you meet people through a hobby

which is something that you both enjoy yeah I think that's when you stay friends oh Ashley Little oh yeah yeah Ashley Little

went to school with Ashley Little from being 4 year old yeah she's my longest friend got you and my mum pathetic

and my dad I can't see your mum and my brother and my sister and my cousins and myetic. And my dad. You can't see your mum and your dad. And my brother. And my sister. And my cousin. Pathetic. And my nana. And my mother.

You can't see that. It's me. It's me. It's me, oh Lord. Standing in the need of prayer. Do you love a hymn? Funny enough, your cough never interrupts your stupid singing,

does it? Mate, do you know why that is? Why? Because I am professional. And that is it. I are professional and that is it we have come to the end of another episode I just want to

take this moment to apologise for all of my coughing hopefully yeah hopefully we're editing a lot of it out but some of

it might have had to stay in so sorry guys I'm so so sorry we'll be back next week yes with more gossip

and hopefully less coughing yeah hopefully less coughing because I don't even think I could take it either thanks for listening

as always if you want to get in touch email shagmoudenoid at gmail.com I'm on Strictly again this week I'm doing the American Smooth Foxtrot to Top Hat

please please vote voting's weird for Strictly right it's basically right at the end of the show the voting lines are open for about 15 minutes yeah you can vote online at the end of the show you can voting lines are open for about 15 minutes. Yeah. You can vote online at the end of the show. You can get three votes.

I want you to use them all on little me and Karen, please. Yeah, watch the show and vote. That would be lovely. And obviously me too has been extended on my website. Fridge freezer for sale. What else have I got to flog? Anyone want to come and clean my wheelie bin?

Give us a shout. Honestly, that would be lovely. I went and put it out the other day. It stinks. Really? All of them do. Even the one that you put the grass in and that. Of course that one stinks.

It's earthy, isn't it? I thought that one, well... It smells like poo, no? It smells like manure, that one. It's the worst. Loads of it gets stuck at the bottom as well. I'm going to have to go one it's the worst loads of it gets stuck at the bottom as well I'm going to have to

go at it with a spade oh jeez alright thanks guys have a lovely have a lovely day whatever you're doing sorry about this I'm so sorry about this podcast

okay we can't apologise this is the best episode ever bye guarantee it's not okay bye bye I love you bye bye love you

bye you're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series this unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation together they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none.

Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.