SitcomD&D - *BONUS PATREON* Beef's Improv Masterclass- Part Wun

Episode Date: July 26, 2022

Beef takes you on a wild and chaotic ride in the first of his three part improv series! Find this episode and more over on out Patreon!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

okay and we're starting that's not part of it it's 3 a.m and everyone is tucked in fast asleep at bottoms up you can hear the sweet dog bark like snores coming from chalice's room you see seb and chip in their undergarments partaking in their nightly game of sleep chess in their room seb always wins and chip always cheats. But where is Beef? His bedroom door slightly ajar. His pile of hay too fresh from

no slumber. But no Beef. We cut to the cellar basement of Bottoms Up where a handful of people looking eager are standing around waiting. There is a sign propped up on an easel that reads, Beef's 101 Improv Masterclass.

Wow, I'm super excited to take this class. Heard a lot of great things about it, and I think it's really going to help me professionally. So I'm really excited about this. I'm a little worried about how cost-effective it is. But I hope that it does what it needs to do for me. Did anyone else have a hard time finding this place? I was walking around in circles for a while

before I was able to find it. Oh, I'm a regular here. Bottom's up. So I'm used to it. This place is nuts though, let me tell you. It's very, very, very scary here. Oh, I didn't even see you in the corner. Yeah, sorry.

Whoa. My name's Meyer. What's your guys' name? Beef emerges from the dark. Freeze. Welcome, everyone, to Beef's Master's master class yes that's right welcome it's beef welcome to my master class an introductory course to improv you may unfreeze thank you beef hops up beef hops up onto a crate and sits crisscross applesauce now before we get going now before this train leaves the station i want to hear from you what is improv what is improv anyway huh

what is it huh i am prov you right there you look like you're about to answer what is improv to you oh oh me um yeah uh i actually i have no idea so i didn't mean to look like i wanted to answer i don't that's why i'm here i have no idea what it is but i was told by some people in the office that um it could help you know professionally um so yeah So, yeah, I don't know. Do you not know? Do you not know? You're asking... I just want to make sure you know. Of course I know.

I just spelt it for you. I know improv. I think I know. I think that I know. I think I know too, but you can go first. No, I... No, you go ahead. Alright. It sounds like that one guy's matching the voice of the lower voice guy.

You caught me! Are you brothers? I wanted to answer that way. That's my... That's improv essentially. It's matching. It's satire. It's jazz for cats. It's beautiful.

Holy shit, this guy's amazing. This guy must have experience. He's good. It's a study that is truly our own. It's as much psychology as it is theater. God, I like you. God, I like you. What about you?

I'm sorry. You're talking to me. Yes. Wow. The teacher's giving no indicator of who they're talking to. Not looking at anyone. Not pointing. Not saying a name.

You. Yeah. Well, first of all, my name is Campbell Brambles. Well, first of all, my name is Campbell Brambles, and I know that improv is the vessel through which I will win my wife back from my brother. Okay. Seems as though he doesn't know what improv is either. Actually, everybody, you're all wrong. Everything you said was wrong. She didn't guess. I just said said I don't know and one of us didn't guess yet

and you're wrong you said you liked I said improv actually yeah I think that guy was right you said I was right and then you took it away and that is my prerogative, because this is my class.

Now, what improv is, is... There's a spider on you. Oh, my God. There's a spider on you, too. On me? Who's the teacher talking to? I still can't tell. Oh, my God.

There's a spider on all of us. I hate spiders. I don't see no spider. And scene. I was just kidding that whole time. So that's what improv is. There were no spiders.

I made it all up. Just now. That's improv. Thank you. Beef bows. Beef starts gyrating. Now I'm dancing. This is also considered improv.

No, no, no. Don't look away. Don't look away. Unfortunately, I am not taking any questions at the moment. Beef stops dancing and sits crisscross applesauce. of mind. It's a state of mind. I'm gonna show you how to use your toolbox. You're gonna pull wrenches out of your brains. Hammers, too.

You know, you can use it in your real life. Here's an example. Are you always late to your job and you need an insane amount of excuses to distract your dumbass boss from the fact that you suck? This guy gets it. Yeah, I do. Well well look no further than beef's

master class where you can find a plethora of excuses in your back pocket beef slaps his tushy excuses like uh my trap door is busted and all my fudge fell out. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Or, my favorite excuse, my warlock boyfriend just proposed to me last night, but then his trap door busted and all his fudge fell out. I just want to make sure I'm writing this down.

Please write this down. Tap door. Good stuff. This is good, good, good, good, good, good stuff. Out. I like this person good, good, good, good stuff. I like this person who brought their pen and paper. Thank you. I am. No.

Okay. No. No. No. No. All right. And this, everybody, could be you. This all could be yours. All these excuses.

Every single thing I just said for just a cool 5,000 shillings an hour. What do you say? Beef takes his improv beret off and turns it upside down, indicating he wants their money now. We prepaid for this class. We already signed up. That's why we're here. It's the top of the hour.

It's the top of the hour. Huh? I reach out my hand and I go, here's 5,000 shillings, and I put nothing into the hat. I like this guy. Damn, he's good. That's good.

How did he get so good? He shouldn't be in level one. He's lying. Yes. All right, everybody else, put your shillings in. 5,000 shillings. Thank you. Excellent.

I extend my hand, and I drop nothing. I'm verbalizing it because it seemed like everybody else was doing that as well. Yeah, I'm putting nothing in too. Good, good. Mine was pretend, but I also put a tip in. I put a tip. I put several rubies of the sapphire nature. Very important.

Opulent, if you will. Who is this guy? I chose not to tip. Yeah. I step forward and I'd love to give you 5,000 shillings, but all my shillings were sitting on a trap door that opened and fell onto my fudge. Nice.

Yes, yes. Good job, good job. This is a good group. I sense a lot of good stuff coming from this group. Excellent. Now that I have your money, I do want to know who you are. Let's go around the circle and get to know each other, huh? Sitcom D&D is sponsored by BetterHelp. And with that said, I've got a question for you.

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I sit crisscross applesauce. Good, good. I said crisscross applesauce good good but remember for the duration of this class you aren't you you're improv you so make up a fake name

then give me your real name and then say your fake one again for example mine would be Jeff beef Jeff yeah and then tell me why you are here For example, mine would be Jeff, Beef, Jeff. Yeah? And then tell me why you are here. What do you want to gain from this masterclass? You, with the face.

Go first. Me? No, it's hard to tell. Yeah, it's hard to tell. Hi, I'm a guinea pig, obviously, you can see. So it's the fake name first, and then the real name, and then the fake name.

Jeff beef Jeff. Jingles Pringles Jingles. My name is Pringles. And I'm here because I have, I'm very nervous, and I'm scared to talk around people. People tell me I make them nervous by how nervous I am.

I shake and shake and shake and shake because I'm so nervous and I thought this would help me with my nerves. I'm scared. I'm really scared. And that's it. That's okay. It's okay to be scared. Beef reaches for her hand. It's okay.

It's okay. It's gonna be scary. We're gonna do a lot of scary stuff in here, guys. Thank you, Jeff. Okay. You's going to be scary. We're going to do a lot of scary stuff in here, guys. Thank you, Jeff. Okay. You're welcome. Jingle. Pringle.

All right. You with the arms. You're next. Okay. It's really hard when you do that because you close your eyes. I think after this, we'll be able to clear it up, hopefully. Hopefully, after this, we can start using names. I pray.

I really hope so. My name is Raym Meyer Rahim. That backwards is Meyer Rahim Meyer. So just kind of letting you in on the kind of guy that I am. I'm meticulous. I'm sort of sick with my sense of humor. So if things get a little dark, just kind of bear with me because I'll keep you along. I'll keep your head above water. And don't worry, I always have your back. So like, I love you guys already. I don't even know you guys but like i'm here to make good friends and uh i there's already two of you that i like a lot and thank you please be me oh god this is nice meyer this is good okay you with the eyes go ahead one of us there's only two of us left um i guess i'll go hello

thanks dude my uh my name is uh kimberly campbell brambles kimberly and I'm here to win back my wife. I figured that these improv classes will teach me confidence, much like my brother has, and I will be able to rip her back from his arms back into my home. Oh, one of those situations, huh? You've seen it before. I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah. This isn't your first time. I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah.

This isn't your first time. That's going to be tough. Oh, no, no, no. This isn't my first time seeing a divorcee, a cheater getting cheated on by his brother. They were respectful about it. Oh. What was that? May I ask, in what way was the respect they asked me and i was kind of pushed

into a corner and i said yes you could take my wife physically pushed into a corner did you have to watch i didn't have to watch they let me have a blindfold but this was once again after we signed the papers that's tough I'd probably just call it a day and maybe give up on that I might but they're my next door neighbors and it's hard to watch it

this is really tough this makes a lot of sense while you're here this makes a lot of sense why you're here. This makes a lot of sense why you're here. The hardest part is I still love my brother very much. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. He reaches over and grabs his hand.

We're going to get through this. Campbell reaches back, accepting Beef's hand. Thank God. We're going to really need each other here. We're going to lean on each other here. We're going to be a lot of... We're going to really need each other here. We're going to lean on each other here. We're going to learn a lot about each other here. It's going to be really beautiful.

You guys are my best friends. Yes. Everyone's already feeling that way and saying that? Yeah. Just introduce yourself and maybe you'll feel a little bit different. I must have been the one that Myers wasn't talking about. All right. Looks like you're the last one here, guy with the face and the arms and the eyes.

The whole package. You ready to go? Yeah. Hi, everyone. This is my first improv class. My name is Beef Gipper Slacks Jr. Beef. Could you say that one more time for me, for the ears? Yeah.

My name is Beef Gipper Slacks Jr. Beef. And as fate would have it, I'm a junior salesman at um the local horse stable i sell horses oh i try to how easy is it to sell well seemingly for everyone very easy but um i have yet to crack the code. I have yet to sell a horse. Hmm. Which brings me here. I was told that,

you know, improving my improv skills will help me think on my feet in the business situation, connect with potential buyers and sell those horses. Catch. Oh, I caught the big ball. Okay. Wow.

So this is a nice learning moment. Pause. I see. I throw the ball to you To you, Beef Jipper This is very confusing I was following your rules You said say a fake name first

And then my name, my name is Gipper I threw the ball to you, Gipper You didn't throw anything I did Yes, that's right, Meyer I love your attitude I threw the ball to you, Gipper. You didn't throw anything. I did. Yes, that's right, Meyer. I love your attitude, the way you think. He doesn't have a ball.

What the fuck is going on? I have the ball. And it's red and it's filled with the power of my heart. Yeah, this guy. This guy's silly. He really knows the way of the word. He just made that up. Silence.

Freeze. I've heard enough from everyone. You're the one I'm not going to be friends with. I know. Yes. Before we can properly play, everyone, we must learn first learning is the door history is the doorknob and improv is the key learning is the door history doorknob learning key does anybody know who the father of improv is province? Beef? You're looking for points.

I like ya, but that's not the right answer. Anyone? Or was he asking if beef knew? Other beef. Beef, you got an answer? I heard it was Kleldos. Now, a lot of people think that, but it was Kledos Now a lot of people think that But it was actually his counterpartner

Macfarter Wow Macfarter Can you spell that so I can write it down in my little notebook It's M-A-C Go ahead Space F-A-R-T-E-R F-A-R-D-E-R

F-A-R-D-E-R F-A-R-D-E-R. Got it. Mac Fartor. Hey, guinea pig, can I get a copy of those notes when you're done? No! Now, Mac Fartor was, you know, a drunk, hostile man who really had no home.

Oh, God. He was known for stumbling onto stages blackout drunk, and he would do hours long of improv. Long sets of improv. People must have loved that. Oh, you are right. People would travel across lands far and wide to study him he blew up in ways that were unimaginable he blew people away with his abilities schools started implementing his practices shows like whose pies are these anyways were based off of him i I, Beef, Jeff Beef Jeff,

had the fortune of studying under Mac while he was on his deathbed. No way. He actually said to me, Wow. right before he died, What did he say? He said,

You are the son of Improv. Wow. And he kissed me on the forehead and he died. Oh my goodness. Scary. This is real. Yeah. So I am, I guess, the son of improv.

You've seen a dead body before. I have. Cold. Scary. Yeah. Like improv. Scary. I've seen several dead bodies, but...

What does it mean to be the son of improv? That's a great question, little beef. It actually is a very, very hard job. It's a big burden. I now have to take the word of the Lord and spread it around. It's a big burden I now have to take The word of the lord And spread it around It's just me It's a hard hard price to pay

Being the son of improv Is Macfarter the lord? Macfarter's the lord And I am the angels Singing in your ear The right way to play. Okay? So, guys, we're going to start off with some basic exercises

and work our way up to full scenes where, guess what? You guys are going to be doing your own show at the end of this master class. All your friends, all your family are going to come see you. Ah! Yeah, that's right. Anyone that I would invite is already here right now. You guys are my best friends. This is big stuff.

Can I invite my wife and my brother? You shouldn't. You really shouldn't. I almost certainly won't. No. You should. You should invite them because this is going to be your moment. Kimberly. Campbell.

Which name are we using? I'm a little confused by this. You'll know. Your improv name. Kimberly. Yes. Exactly. Exactly.

I don't think I should have picked beef then for mine. Oh, looks like we're at the top of the hour. I'm looking for 5,000 more shillings before we move on. Here are your shillings. I throw more fake shillings. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And there's a little bit extra in mine.

We're calling it several golden bananas. I still choose not to tip. This is way more intricate than I thought it was going to be. I thought it was going to be like a bunch of drunk 20 year olds playing pretend with their friends. But this is like amazing. This is like so intricate. I haven't drank since my wife left me.

Oh God, your life is so sad. I can't offer you 5,000 more shillings, but I can offer you a heavy discount on a horse with a limp. Not a horse that's at full strength, but a horse with a limp that's not too old.

And final offer. You know what? Today's your lucky day. I love horses. So get on, go. I'll take it. If you can fit a horse in my improv beret, which I think you can.

Holy shit, I just sold my first horse. This class is already paying for itself. You haven't sold a horse yet? No, is nobody listening? No, that was established earlier. Yeah, it's just sad. I mean, you guys really hit it off,

all three of you, so quick, and you're standing so close to each other. Yeah, they're my best friends. Yeah, we're sort're my best friends. Yeah, we're sort of kindred spirits. We're yin, yang, and other yin. So, it's kind of beautiful. Okay, freeze! And scene.

Alright, we're starting something. Everyone get in a circle, and we're gonna start with a basic exercise called zip, zap, zoop. So, we're gonna start with a basic exercise called zip zap zoop so we're gonna stand in a circle so we'll go how about oh yeah well don't worry i'm hopping in i'm hopping in because i'm not leaving you guys alone in the dust yeah so we're gonna start here with... We'll go... What was your... You were...

Who were you talking to? You're... Gosh. I thought the names would clear this up. I thought we were done. Jingle. My real name is Pringles. You told me I had to make up a new name, and I did Jingles.

Okay. Well, good. Jingles. Yes. We're going to start with you. So you'll pass the zip to who? To Kimberly, my best friend. Good.

I accept the zip. Kimberly, now you pass the zap to who? I pass the zap to Ryan, a.k.a. Meyer. I love it. All right, a.k.a. Meyer. I love it. All right, Meyer. Received. And then I will send it back to Pringles.

But instead of saying Zoop, you say your favorite soup. What's your favorite soup? Brass. Nice. Okay. Brass Nice Okay Maybe they don't understand the game But I feel like it should have came to me Once by now but maybe I don't get the game Okay I thank you best friend

I am going to send it to my best friend again Kimberly Here is the zap Kimberly There we go I pass the zap back to Pringles. Thank you, best friend. And I will send the soup to my other best friend. Favorite soup.

Favorite soup. Favorite soup. Favorite soup. Nice. Good. Okay. Okay, I would like to pause, freeze and scene um thanks so address this please yeah uh the problem i have here is that you said broth twice uh yes sorry yes yeah i i

thought that too i was like i should pick a different soup but it's also my favorite soup but you're right yeah you're right good no yes yeah so i love soup, but it's also my favorite soup. But you're right. Yeah, you're right. Good note. Yes. Yeah. So I love what's happening. There's also probably another. Excuse me. Excuse me. The teacher's talking. Shut the fuck up, man. Meyer, I appreciate the passion.

I'm just so sick of this guy. Sorry. I'm sorry. Hey, this is a safe space. Meyer, it's okay. It's okay. Is it though? Is it a safe space? We might be

bothered by the horse guy, but he paid his shillings just as much as everyone else did, so please at least pass a zap or a zip. You don't have to pass your favorite zoop to him but maybe throw a zip or a zap his way

okay I just felt like he was playing wrong I didn't get a chance to play Kimberly yeah that was wrong this is a great lesson we're learning here wrong versus right yes versus no what does it all mean This is a great lesson we're learning here. Wrong versus right.

Yes versus no. What does it all mean? Zip zap zoop. Right? Zip zap zoop. You can only say broth once. Got it. And I zap to Kimberly.

Let's go. I thought zip was first. I'm sorry. I'm to Kimberly. Let's go. I thought zip was first. I'm sorry. I'm throwing off. Hey, you got to think on your toes. I'm playing wrong. Okay, freeze and scene. Freeze and scene.

Okay, you need to be on your toes more, Kimberly. Do I go straight to zip? I could throw you a zip. It could come at you any which way. Okay. You don't just go outside your house and let the... You could get hit by any kind of weather. When I leave my house, I usually see my wife and my brother kissing. Oh, no, no, no.

That's tough. No, no, no. Kimberly, you gotta stop. You gotta move. You gotta stop thinking about them. Start thinking about Kim. Yeah. What does Kim want? Kim wants. Yeah. What does Kim want?

Kim wants more time. What does Kim need? With her kids. Yeah, I bet. Okay. Zip. Zap. Who's it to?

To Meyer. Oh. And broth with clams in it to bring us oh shit I missed it okay alright if I must zip to the horse guy

zip to the horse guy okay and oh shit this hasn't happened to me yet before no no I get to say scene I'm doing a sweep at it And, oh, shit, this hasn't happened to me yet before. Scene. Scene. No, no, I get to say scene. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm doing a sweep edit. I'm sweep editing, all right? This is not my first class. I am sweep editing. Freeze and scene. All right, Meyer, I have to say, you're advanced. You're absolutely advanced. Yes, we get it.

We see it. But, you know, you got to stoop down to these guys's levels sometimes i get it i mean i'm only i thought it was it is the pedagogy that i come from and so we use past tense here yes and broth to jeff oh phrase and scene i can't believe this. It's Zip Zap Zoop. Horse guy? I have a name, okay? And it's, well, is it supposed to be beef? I actually am confused.

I don't know. I'm sorry for interrupting. It's fine. It's okay. It's okay to be confused. I just wrote down that you interrupted. In my notes. Good.

Let me get back in the good graces of everyone. You guys are my best friends, and I'm really excited for the rest of class. Let's get back on a good foot. Or hoof, should I say. Shut up. Woof. All right, let's just move on to the next exercise.

Please, we have to move past this. We got to move past this. Okay, so this next exercise, you guys have worked on the zips and the zaps and the zoops. This next exercise is you guys have worked on the zips and the zaps and the zoops. This next exercise is called no, but B-U-T-T. So your name is but now you forget every name I made. You guys have to be confused about who you're talking to. Now you're all of your names are but. B-U-T-T.

Oh, I get it. So when you start this scene, I'm going to do two, we're going to start two person scenes right now, but don't be scared. Oh no. Because I'm giving you your lines. Every first sentence you say,

say no, but, because that's their name. And then a sentence. You get to make it up. But you said you're going to give us our lines. We are making it up now? The first is a lie. Oh, my God. Can you listen?

Yeah. Can you listen? Horse guy interrupted again. I want to give 5,000 shillings to someone to rough you up a little bit, all right? Just get you to fucking listen. I thought this was supposed to be a safe space. I'm really just trying to learn. Yeah, we're all trying to get buff.

Me too, but you're a brick wall. You gotta start listening with your ears. I'm sorry. It's okay okay it's okay Emotions are gonna bubble up During this class right Yeah We're gonna look at horse guy and we're gonna get upset

And horse guy is gonna get kind of sad Yeah But that's life Life is improv improv is life Write that down Yeah Thank you But that's life. Life is improv. Improv is life. Right. Write that down. Bring goals.

Yeah. Thank you. Beef bows. I already need that. Life is improv. Improv is life. Yeah. Horse guy makes us sad.

Yes. So I want to see a scene with Kimberly and Meyer. What the hell? You said your name was backwards. It's Ryan, but I thought all of our names were butt now. Oh, they are butt. I love the way you're listening. Okay.

Thank you. Right. Sorry. So I'm going to want, I'm going gonna need butt and butt to get up get up up front in class so we got two butts up in front in class and every scene every first sentence you say you say no but and then something else okay oh no one else has gotten up on stage yet I'll get up too Kimberly are you okay yank on his back and like

shove him down and I go no I was actually already up oh we got some eager beavers here a lot of butts on stage but all I need are two I'll go next I'll sit this one. I'll go next. Yeah, I'll sit this one out. I'll go next.

Good. All right, your suggestion, my two butts, is butts. Begin. No, but butt was my father. You can call me ass. Good, good. No, but, I'd need your help to win my wife back. Good, good.

No, but, I am your wife, and I have passed away. No, but, I don't think I could imagine handling the emotional toll of you dying. Maybe I'm a ghost too. I thought these were two line scenes. A scene. Freeze and scene. Excuse me. Horseman.

Couldn't you feel there was emotion happening here? What are you doing to him? Look what you did to Kim. You hurt Kim. Oh, I'm sorry, Kim. Horse guy. Everybody, group hug. Do you want me to apologize?

Group hug, Kimberly, everybody. Okay, I'll get in on the group hug. Stop. Oh, okay. Sorry. Sorry, Kimberly. Thank you. All right, I'm ready to do my scene

I think I've learned a lot from watching you two And I'll get on up there with you Yep, I guess so Sorry about this Pringles It's okay Your suggestion is Butts, go No, but I don't want to buy a horse

from you no but my wife passed away and is sleeping with my brother he's copying are you making fun of him oh no no I just I panicked and I went with

something else I heard earlier I didn't mean to be making fun of you. Did you not hear Beef say the thing about you can't say broth twice? I don't, did I say broth? Oh, no, I get what you're saying. Oh, my God. I'll take another crack at it. Reset, if that's okay, Jeff. Go ahead, Beef. My name's okay, Jeff. Go ahead, Beef.

My name's Butt right now. Absolutely. Good, good. And scene. Freeze. Wow. This is a beautiful moment to say a horse can learn.

Did you see that? A horse can learn. Wow, I'm looking at you a little differently horse guy i guess you led me to water and i chose to drink oh wow that's a big laugh from the teacher good luck keeping up y'all that was a big laugh trying to be nice i noticed the size of that laugh okay everybody we're just trying to be nice. I noticed the size of that laugh. Okay, everybody. We're going to slide right on into it. I think we're ready for scenes. I want to see some open range scenes.

Yeah, I'm going to tell you guys. I haven't had students to this caliber in years. Wow. What are our names now? Hmm. Great question. Thank you. How about, now we're all teapots.

All of us. Is there a meaning behind that, Jeff? Some of us are short and stout. Some of us, when you tip us over, we pout. See, improv is great. Short and stout, tip over, stout. Some of us, when you tip us over, we pout. See, improv is great. Short and stout, tip over, pout. Pout. Okay.

I'm going to really want to see a scene from Teapot 1 and Teapot 2. Uh-oh. Oh, that's not established. Here we go. I'm going to put a couple of chairs up front teapot one teapot two don't be scared you're looking at the back of the room who are you talking to who's in the darkness back there i take a couple steps forward and i look around to see if anybody else has joined and i rock it up i jump up on stage I lunge for him but I miss

okay I guess I'm teapot looks like I rolled pretty well dexterity wise right there better luck next time Rhyam I mean teapot three or four shit it's teapot two

I asked for teapot one and teapot two do I have teapot one and teapot two do i have teapot one teapot two in the chairs i don't know your teapot two just accept it okay okay i'm ready freeze and scene this was actually an exercise in itself oh my Wow. It really was. Now, did we just spend the whole time going, I don't know. Who's who? Oh, I don't know. Fart, fart, poop, poop. We did do that.

We did that. I do think horse guy fart, fart, and poop pooped. He did. He really shat himself silly. I do feel like we would spend less time doing that if you just assigned us names that were like our names for the whole class and then you know we would know who you were referring to and then that's not a question you smell like shit dude you smell so bad i am around horses a lot. It's my job. I want to rip you up like a chicken tender.

I thought this was a safe space. Beef Jack. I am being safe. Whose name is on the master class? Yours. Mac Farder's. Yeah, we did all think we were taking a class with mac farger that is how it was advertised i did not know he was dead before your story how recent is your story

well what's today it, it's three days fresh. Oh, my goodness. Oh. Yeah. But it looks like none of you really cared about Mac Fartor, huh? You just wanted to smear his name around, didn't you? And you were there when he died? I was.

You don't believe me? No, I believe you. I'm curious about cause of death i have not washed this forehead all of a sudden i have not washed this forehead since he kissed my little forehead you you think i killed him you think i killed mac farter so that i could take the name of improv god no no i thought you were the son of improv now it's improv yeah sons grow up into gods sons grow up to be gods so now may i ask be good to your sons tooons will grow up to be gods. I know this song.

Wow. Wow. God's become lovers and turn into mothers. So God's be good to your sons too. Wait. Freeze. John Meyer, didn't you write that song? That is my song.

You wrote that? Yeah, it's John Meyer. I'm John Meyer. Oh, my God, I'm a huge fan. Oh, my God, and you hate me. Oh, my God, my life is falling apart. John Meyer, it's an honor to have you in class. I didn't want this to be how you guys found out.

Oh, God. All right, I'm going to take off my prosthetic nose. Yeah, let's see. Oh, the guy with the nose. These are extensions. These are extensions. No, I don't usually have these long hairs.

Friends with a celebrity? My God, I can put this on the poster. No, please don't. I really don't want people to know that I came here. I don't want my picture on the wall. I do not put my picture on the wall. Do not put my picture on the wall. I listen to your music when I go to bed at night.

John Mayer. Oh, wow. That means a lot to me. And I appreciate that. I make it for fans like you. How about this? You're teacup one. Get up here, teacup one.

Holy shit. Oh, should I sit down then? I'm teacup. Yeah. Yeah, get out of here. I don't like you, man. Shit. Horse guy.

Horse guy. Yeah? Yeah. Don't tell the others, but I actually think you're really funny and talented. I can hear that. No, he's not. Don't fill his head with honey when actually think you're really funny and talented. I can hear that. No, he's not. Don't fill his head with honey when it deserves to be filled with bile.

I'm famous. Sorry, horse guy. You're on your own. And Kim, how about Kim, your teacup too. Get up on here. Okay. I have gone up there and I sit cross-legged. I got two little teacups up here.

How about you round up? Why don't you send us home tonight with a nice scene? A nice back and forth. I want to hear words I haven't heard from you yet. Different words, different nouns. Shove this scene with as many nouns as possible. Okay?

Your suggestion is butts. Go. Mountains shaped like butts. Hills shaped like butts. Malls shaped like butts. Anytime, man, if you want to get in. Cat, dog, basketball hoop. Nice. Good, good, good. More, more, basketball hoop. Nice.

Good, good, good. More. Branch. More. More nouns. Fortitude. Oh, that's not. That's.

Falling down. It's an idea. Nope, that's not a noun. What about where you are? Where are you right now? Basement. Dungeon. I am at rock bottom.

This is rock bottom for me in this dungy little basement pringles what are you writing down pringles what are you writing down oh it's nothing don't don't look is someone sketching in my class pringles someone doodling please no sketches you're sketching i'm just a normal guy. John Mayer. I'm sketching you. You're bad at sketching. Freeze and scene. Freeze and scene. Fuck horse guy.

Fucking mean guy. Pringles, Pringles, if you're going to sketch, you got to show us what you're sketching. Show the class. I'm embarrassed. Well, that's your fault. That's on you. that's a personal problem okay yeah it's on you yeah here it is i was trying to draw horse guy's little apology portrait but he's kind of an asshole i'm i am and I'm sorry. Sorry. Is that why you're here?

Because I'm an asshole? Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe that's the reason that I'm not selling any horses. Maybe it's because I say stuff that an asshole would say. Man, I hope this class

can help with that. Everyone grab hands. Everyone grab hands and let's get in a circle hold hands everyone look each other in the eyes you feel that yes it's hard to look at everyone in the eyes at the same time horse guy at the same time

look in the eyes and say I love you I trust you I love you I trust you I love you I trust trust you. I love you. I love you. I trust you. Minus horse guy. You're the new horse guy. My God.

Today I saw a lot of good work from my students today. You guys had just a little taste, a little appetizer taste to the real world of improv. I am so excited for you guys. We're really going to bust some nuts. And bust through some walls. And you're going to be the best versions of yourselves. I'm telling you. Kim.

You might win back. You might win back your wife. Are you serious? And Pringles. You might finally. Not. You know. You forgot what my thing is, but I understand the sentiment.

Yeah. Yeah, Pringles, you didn't really reinforce your thing quite as much as the rest of us did. Are you giving me a note? You're giving me a note. Why don't you just go home and watch your wife be with your brother, buddy? Yes, this is good. That's good. Actually, read each other to filth.

That's true friendship. My two best friends are at each other's throat. It's fine. I'm fine. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it either. It's fine. I'm fine. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it either. I didn't mean it either. Okay, guys. It's 5 a.m. It's just so early in the morning.

Yeah, we're all a little overtired. There should be coffee up at the bar so we can have some mimosas. Mimosas with coffee? Get a little antsy or something. Coffee and mimosas? coffee get a little a little antsy or something coffee and mimosas yeah yeah uh you know I love you guys

I love you too I love you too I love you the most Jeff we love you I've actually made a vow to love nobody else besides my wife so I apologize but I can't love you I get it. Hey, that's a challenge I'm willing to accept. By the end of this.

Beef Jeff, when is the next class? It wasn't clear. Is this happening every week, or when is the next one? A crow will show up to your window, and it'll tell you when the next class is. Yeah, it'll tell you when the next class is. Yeah, it'll tell you when. If I finish classes here, am I guaranteed to make an improv team? It's guaranteed, right? Because I'm spending all this money.

Yeah. Yeah, what are best practices? It's guaranteed. If you're wanting to be on a team. What are best practices if we're trying to get onto a team? Best practices are never stop being on always be on never everything is a joke everything is silly broth clams broth yes just never stop being fun he ha and you'll make it. What was your first team like?

My first team? Yeah. Wow. Well, beef sits crisscross applesauce. Campbell also sits crisscross applesauce. My first team, it was delight. It was chaos. It was fun.

It was just walk-ons after walk-ons, but you don't know what that is yet. I'm excited to learn. Hey, who knows? Maybe after this class, this will be our first team. As we go on, we remember all the times. Seems kind of like a graduation song, not a first class song. Horse guy.

Horse guy. We're trying to include you. Yeah, what's with the freaking peanut gallery, dude? I'm about to slam you. I hate to say this, but I do reserve one time kicking someone out of my class. Oh my God, please don't. I do not want to make up another character. Horse guy.

Please, I'll be good. I'll change my thing. No, you're out. God damn it! God damn it! I love that someone gets voted out every time. Also, this is cracking me up because this feels a lot like a level one improv class. Yeah.

Looked and felt a lot like this.