SitcomD&D - S1 E2: The Health Expector

Episode Date: February 22, 2022

After a night of hard drinking, the gang is caught off guard when a new health & safety inspector shows up unannounced at Bottom's Up.  Starring Erin Keif, Waleed Mansour, Elizabeth Andrews, Sean Coyle, and Ben Briggs. Theme song by Arne Parrott Artwork by Waleed Mansour Edited by Sean Coyle Like the show? Rate SitcomD&D 5 stars on Apple Podcasts and leave a review.  Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok: @SitcomDnD Advertise on SitcomD&D via Gumball.fm Support our Patreon at Patreon.com/SitcomdndSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. So to recap last episode, it was episode one, a raven named That's So delivered some bad news that the bed and breakfast y'all work at, Bottoms Up, is in dire straits financially. You tried to have a team meeting but were interrupted by the arrival of a runaway princess bride, Chalice Glass, who explained that she left her pervy brother, Prince Milknip, at the altar. It wasn't before long that three guards, Jonathan, Taylor, and Thomas, showed up and demanded that the princess either return to Castle Kostopolis or renounce her claim to the throne.

She chose the latter, but when they demanded that she also return her mother's tiara, y'all killed two of them and sent one of them packing. Afterwards, the now destitute princess, Chalice, has agreed to work at Bottoms Up in exchange for room and board. Is that about summing up?

No, that's a paragraph with an intro, conclusion, and three sentences in between. Where'd you go to school? America. Go ahead, Anset. Sound is speedy. And we're rolling. Dice!

Dice! Maybe in the future, we'll all say dice. Okay. Maybe, but not today. When you need a break from this crazy world to see your friends and fill a cup, find Sebastian, Chalice, Chip, and Beef at the Noble Bottoms Up.

As step-by-step our growing pains are improving home and away, we're feeling absolutely fabulous on another happy day. We're in different worlds with different strokes, but the good times will not end. So cheers to all our family and our friends. Starring Aaron Keith as Chalice Glass. Elizabeth Andrews as Beef. Waleed mansour as chip a horny ben briggs as sebastian von hugh grant and sean coyle as everything else sitcom dnd is filmed in front of a fake studio audience

since we last left you some stuff has happened you guys started to celebrate your victory over jonathan taylor and thomas and since you're at a tavern what better way than by drinking a lot you guys really got after it in your defense adrenaline was running pretty high you hadn't gotten into a scuffle and won in a long time and you added a new friend and co-worker and she's the former princess there was a lot to celebrate so because of that the first thing i'm gonna have you all do is roll to see how blacked out you were the night before oh i hope so we're gonna we to roll percentage. That ain't good. Okay, well, Chip, we'll start with you.

Your boy rolled a 13. 13%. So that actually is good. Oh, thank God. Because we're seeing on the percentage of how blacked out you were. So at 13%, you remember mostly everything from the night before, but you have the feeling that you were talking maybe way too much and maybe people took what you said the wrong way.

That's kind of your vibe, but you remember mostly everything. All of that is my vibe normally, so that perfectly checks out. That absolutely checks out. Just to give everyone an insight into Waleed, I've seen Waleed do like four or five shots and then his personality changed not at all. He was still lovely. He remembered everything. He was in total control. I would have

trusted him with my life. Holy fucking shit. Yeah, I was really disappointed. I was like, he's going to have a lampshade on his head and he was like, it's really good to be with my friends and I feel really in control. That's true, but I also had a lampshade on. Yeah, so it's sort of a big fact big you did just roll an 83 you were 83 blacked out okay well yeah this makes

sense that means you were yeah that's according to the little chart i put together uh beef was fully blacked out uh yeah you remember basically nothing, you woke up this morning and you didn't know what planet you were on. That's, I usually wake up not knowing where I am. Okay. Perfect. Perfect. Uh, who's next? I was there with beef.

I rolled an 88. Oh boy. Yes. You don't remember a thing. You guys remember, you know, you know you started drinking uh and pretty much right after that it is just i mean what blacking out is it is black darkness no memory until the moment you're waking up again almost like time travel all right yeah can we say i went to the emergency room yeah all right you did it but you are you woke up back at bottoms up.

Let's see. Just with a hospital bracelet on. And a tiger in the bathroom. Chalice, what about you? I rolled an 83. Oh my God, you remember nothing. You remember nothing from the night before. Okay.

How did we do this? So what it sounds like is that Chip, being a half-orc, pretty big guy, can really put it away. I'm taller than him. Whatever. Yeah, but you have lady meat. You've got so much lady meat. It's crazy the amount of lady meat. Hey, dude, dude, dude, check out the lady meat on that girl. A lot of lady meat.

Holy shit, that lady meat. That lady meat's dragging behind her. This conversation is making me feel shy. I don't know. Elizabeth and I will... This is the exact conversation we had last night when we were blackout.

Or when you guys were blackout. Yeah, Chip is able to just put them away. You know, he's got like this. He's already got a beer belly going and it is good at its job, which is processing alcohol. Beef. I mean, you being about a quarter of the size, you not only kept up with Chip, but you saw it as a challenge to drink more than Chip. And you did. You drank Chip under the table, except for you ended up under the table unconscious and blacked out.

Sounds great. Now, Sebastian, same thing. You don't usually drink very often, you know, especially since J.R. left or disappeared. You typically don't. And that's kind of a thing that you feel like makes you JR left or disappeared. You typically don't. And that's kind of a thing that you feel like makes you better running the business. But it was a big day for you guys and you barely got out with your lives. So once you start drinking, oh boy, you really take it up a notch. You know, once you start, that seal is broken.

You just ride that wave and you wrote it right into a blackout yeah chalice for you you you've drank a lot socially as the princess but you drank highly refined spirits at the castle uh and what do we have brown liquid we don't and we don't have that. You have not that. And so it just hit you different. It's just like if your body isn't used to drinking moonshine, there's a good chance that that first time you really go after moonshine

is going to be a night you don't remember. And you don't remember last night. But we're going to fast forward in time a little bit. We all know you you guys woke up feeling like shit okay but now we're we are midday the the bottoms up is in full swing okay you've got about half the tables people are uh eating and drinking at them um so yeah so about it's about half full right now. And we're going to start with... I bet you Sebastian would call this place half empty.

Guaranteed. Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah. Not good enough. We're going to start with... It's actually, it really is Chalice's first day on the job. And you are shadowing Chip as he goes and serves tables

as like the bartender waiter type job. So Chalice, you are shadowing Chip on the job and you guys approach your first table. It's a family of four. Mother, father, a daughter, and a son. And they're humans. And they look about middle class. It's a family of four. Mother, father, a daughter, and a son. And they're humans. And they look about middle class. And we're going to pick up there.

Hey, Chip. Yeah, what's going on? Sorry, can I throw up in your pocket just one more time before we do this? Yeah, okay. It's getting full. I'll say it's getting full in there. So if there's any spillage, you're the one that's going to have to clean it up. Well, I appreciate you leaving me with my dignity. I just don't know where else to throw up.

Nope, not that one. That one, beef has already kind of taken that one. That's really sweet of you to let us all vomit in your pockets all day. I feel sort of like a fool. I feel a little bit embarrassed. These are subs pants, so I really don't care all that much. It's fine.

Has anyone seen my cargo pants? I really can't find my cargo pants. Whatever. I'm just going to look in the back. Do you want to follow my lead for this table? Yeah, that's an excellent idea i'll i'll see what you're doing and i can correct you on any mistakes that you make uh which i assume you will make none so let's go ahead hello poor family oh oh not good what did you call us oh look at how poor you look this is very very he very sweet. He said that we look poor, daddy.

I'm sure this woman didn't mean that. I'm sorry, what were you saying, ma'am? I was saying that you look terrible because it's not your fault. It's just that you don't make enough money. But what can we help you with? You want to spend some of your money here? Oh, oh my God, I didn't realize it. don't make enough money, but what can we help you with? You want to spend some of your money here? Oh.

Oh my god. I didn't realize it. Bottoms Up is like an Ed DeBevics. It's like one of those places, they're razzing us because it's part of it. They talk crap and demean us because it's supposed to be fun. Hey, hey, f*** yourself. Or whatever. Hey, you f*** yourself!

You f*** yourself! Oh my god! What's wrong? What's going on? Beef's here. Beef's here. What's going on? No, Beef, Beef, Beef, we won't be needing your assistance. I'm so sorry. Now I feel like I need to talk to the manager or the owner.

Is the owner around? Chip, I messed up so fast. Sorry. So weird. I think, Chip, I messed up so fast. Sorry. So weird. I think, Chip, you're actually wearing my pants. I think I had set them on my bed and I think you took them this morning. Hi, I'm the manager. Oh, hi.

Hi. Yeah. My name is Homer. And I'm here with my family and I just, I don't want to do this wrong. Is this like a place where you guys are supposed to be rude to us or um is this a normal place wait that's something we could do yes yes and f**k you okay okay see it's a joke guys okay. Okay. Yeah, you're short. You're a little round. And I don't like your hair. Let's maybe keep it away from the kids.

No. Daddy, what is he saying? Daddy. The kids deserve it most of all. Can we just, you know, maybe another round, maybe a half chicken for the table and a round of mead for my wife and I, and then that'll be it for now. Do you want that chicken dead or alive?

The family, while you were doing that, just kind of slowly was like nodding and making eye contact and just started gathering their things and they just slowly nodded until they just left. Wait, wait, I thought of another razz for the children. They should be more shy because they're ugly. Oh, you guys, I blew it. I'm just throwing my little apron down on the children. They should be more shy because they're ugly. Oh, you guys, I blew it. I'm just throwing my little apron down on the ground, covering my face with my hands.

You notice that another person has walked into the bar. Okay? He's a tall man. He's skinny, gangly, and he's a high elf. So pointy ears. He looks like if the food critic from Ratatouille

were a high elf. Anton Ego. Anton Ego. And that's actually this guy's name. Is that really? I think it's a great fantasy name. So it's Anton Ego. He's dressed all in black with like a short black cape

and then has a clipboard and has a short walking staff with what looks like a bronzed remy the rat head on top of it so he just walked in though uh and seb you clock him as someone who might be really important hey welcome to bottoms up we're a a dungleton restaurant so we insult you i'm sorry i've been in this establishment for about a minute and so far i've seen someone fight over a microphone barf spill out of pockets um do i even need to tell you that i am the health and safety inspector. What? You weren't supposed to come to Wednesday. You see, the Crown has deemed it necessary that I come at an unexpected hour. Now, should I just fail you right now,

or would you like to try and salvage this horrific situation? I'm going to try to salvage it, because I think I can win you over, all right? In case it wasn't made clear to you all, I am the health and safety expector, Anton Ego. Did you say expector? Yeah, I heard expector. What's an expector?

Well, you can expect for you to fail. What happened to our other guy? He was just so transparent. Where's Rudy? Yeah, he was so cool, and he was short and kind of pudgy. I love Rudy. Rudy's on forced vacation. Oh my God.

From what we can tell, he's loving it. This is because of Chalice, isn't it? Oh, how dare you accuse the crown of interfering in matters of someone who's not of the crown anymore. We wouldn't steep to such levels. Would you stoop? We'd stoop. I'm tired. You have commoners vocabulary.

In common, it must mean stoop. Listen. Yeah. I'm the health inspector. But before we get started, why don't you just start me off with your finest wine? Now, as you guys look at each other and are processing the situation, something occurs to you. Now, this is depending on how blacked out you were the night before what you remember everyone was straight up blacked out and doesn't remember a thing except for chip who remembers mostly everything okay so just for you

guys right now what's kind of going through your head is oh shit the health and safety inspector is here and you remember that there was two bodies you were supposed to dispose of last night you you knew you're gonna get around to you're gonna do it eventually but the party kind of And you remember that there was two bodies you were supposed to dispose of last night. You knew you were going to get around to it. You're going to do it eventually. But the party kind of got out of hand and y'all blacked out. But Chip, you remember that you and Chow were put in charge of disposing Jonathan's body. And you remember that you didn't really dispose of it just at a certain point in the night to get it out of

the way you dragged it to the cellar trap door that's behind the bar uh open it up you know it leads down some stairs to the cellar where all your barrels of mead and your alr and your bottles of wine and that's where the body is god damn okay now sebastian and beef you guys remember that you said that you were going to take care of Taylor's body, the smaller one. Okay. Yeah. But you have no idea what you did with it. Yeah.

And so in this moment, that's all just jolted and hit you guys like a freight train in your minds. Those memories come rushing back or lack of memories. And here we are now. like a freight train in your minds those memories come rushing back or lack of memories uh and here we are now and anton is looking at you and going i asked for your finest spirit yes yep hold on hold on you're just gonna have a little quick staff meeting just about three feet away from you okay you guys yeah guy yes but make it snoopy oh i'm sorry you speak in the low language make it snappy we speak in the present tense okay step me so he's not worth it i'm just like i'm pulling beef over beef where did we put the body last? I have no recollection where we put the body.

I was going to ask you. We have to find the body and we have to animate it some way. Like draw on it? We could have burned it. Yeah, we have to move it like it's not dead. They can't find a dead body. Listen, I don't know where the hell we smushed that body into. Last thing I remember. Smush, that's a clue smush anton's over in the corner and has his clipboard out and makes a huge check mark

looks over and goes i can tell that there was a piss fire here not so long ago that's gonna be a check and just so we're clear we're on a three check strikes you're out system. Checks are bad. Checks are bad. Usually a check is a good check. I'll go get the wine. I'll go get him a glass of wine on the double, try and make him a little bit happy. Maybe get him a little bit extra.

Oh, guys, don't look so worried. If you do not pass the inspection, all that will happen is that your license will be revoked, you will be unable to serve patrons in the kingdom of Kostopolis, this pathetic establishment will be forfeited to the crown, and you will most likely all die alone in the street. Oh, wait. Maybe you should worry. I run off, and I go down.

This guy is, like, sexy, but mean. I go down. This guy is like sexy, but mean. I hate it. Okay, I run off and I run to the cellar where I know the dead body is also to get a glass of wine. And the first thing I want to do is I like Seb's idea. So I'm going to take the body that's down there and prop it up okay prop it up and make it like its arms are crossed like it's just hanging out in the cellar in case we go down okay okay great okay i smart i'd also like to find some sunglasses or something that could cover up its eyes okay if do a perception check yes uh 17 cool so you don't see any like sunglasses uh shock but uh you find obviously

you find a bunch of more bottles like that's what you're surrounded in um but the one uh you find one random glove uh and you also find a hat like a big poofy minstrel hat with a big feather in it um cool i put the i absolutely put the glove and the hat on on jonathan's body and he's like propped up in the corner just chilling arms crossed he looks so cool okay he looks so cool we'll roll roll to see how unbelievably cool okay a 20 not nap wow he looks cool let's just say that and then i'd like to go get a bottle of our strongest wine okay cool so do you grab the bottle and bring it back up okay awesome and and pour anton uh a glass and while when wally's coming up or uh chip's coming up to give the wine i i would

like to have a little flute in front of the man, and I'm trying to perform a little bit to get him in a good mood. Okay. So why don't you roll a performance check? Oh, yeah. 18 plus 5. Fuck yeah. So what do you what you're playing like a classic, like a ditty?

What do you got for him? The titty ditty. The classic titty ditty. How does that go again? Titty, titty, titty, titty. Titties. It's always a little different every time when I'm playing a different instrument. Flutaloo, flutaloo. So he gets handed the glass full of that really strong wine. And B, if you start playing the titty song,

and he smells the glass, inspects it, and then takes the bottle, if you allow him, and looks at it. And is listening to the song and goes, I may have jumped to some conclusions too early about you all. And bottoms up. Let's proceed.

And he's got, he's a little bit more taken with you guys, you can tell. Before it seemed like there's no way that you're ever going to pass this. Now it's like he's woken up a little bit. He's... I turn to Seb and I go, we're salvaging!

We're salvaging! I'm going to kiss my fist and then point up to God. He goes, in fact, I'm actually pretty surprised you have this spirit. If you don't mind, I'd like to start by looking at what other spirits you do have. Yeah, right this way. Yeah, sure. Come on over. Let's go. Come on down.

Yeah, let's show you how the sausage is made. I'm kidding. I will let you know that we do kind of have a guard down there. He's pretty quiet and keeps to himself. He's a bit of a mute. But just be aware of his presence. It's quite pronounced. I haven't met him yet.

I'm so excited to meet him. Uh-huh. What? what are you talking about who's down who's down there jonathan our good friend jonathan the bouncer the the the spirit bouncer the spirit guard jonathan the spirit you're talking more clearly and more loudly, but I feel like I don't feel any. I'm sorry. Yeah, we might need to postpone this. I'm pretty sure Chip is having some sort of stroke right now. We need to get him.

I gots it. He starts walking down the stairs, the cellar stairs. What's going on, Chip? What's happening? Are you all right? Guys, I won't even. Trust me. I don't even need to explain it. You'll see In this moment where I'll hear maybe you should explain it like you can I don't even need to explain it you hear from your panic You guys are all talking and he went down the stairs. So you just hear from downstairs you hear him go. Oh, excuse me, sir

the stairs so you just hear from downstairs you hear him go oh excuse me sir oh my god what the hell chip chip chip what the hell greetings oh my god it's jonathan the spirit guard i actually think we should stuff him and keep him down there just a pitch

just a pitch oh that's where one of the bodies went okay that's good that's that's one we just have one more yeah we got yeah start searching while the guy's down there go beef let's go let's go i don't i don't really know this whole place and i'm pretty sure it's time for my break what you're saying my name and i don't know you haven't accumulated you have not accumulated breaks I can't take a 10? I need an hour for lunch.

Go find a dead guy. What do you think? This is a CEO company? No. I don't know what any of that means Beef. And Chalice starts like half-assed looking like under napkins. Like

Chalice is over here. So petty. half-ass looking like under napkins like a chat she's a huge yawn i i go down to the cellar i'd like to go down to the cellar just make sure okay anton's in the middle of a conversation with jonathan well i i don't presume that you would have to tell me your favorite if that's something that you'd like to keep to yourself i completely understand i wouldn't reveal to you what my favorite is but maybe it is revealing that i've grabbed the chateau he might be being quiet because he actually has been sober for three and a half years now oh wow i did he had a bit of an accident where he uh took the life of a child unintentionally uh while he was while he was good god under one of his yes

um so he doesn't like to talk about it and that's also when he committed to his mutism why don't you uh roll deception shit i shouldn't have committed should have just let him go let him be it would have been fine he was in the middle of a conversation alluding that there has been back and forth up till this point i think there's a 15 okay he nods and he goes i understand i understand, if you don't mind, Chip, you said your name was Chip, right? Yes. Chip Ahoy. Okay. I'm going to take this bottle and experiment with it as well.

And then he heads up the stairs. And then he heads up the stairs. And then I'm going to roll for the integrity of the stairs. And bottoms up. His foot goes through one of the stairs. Oh, God. Good heavens. What the?

Oh, my God. what is the my foot is through the stair oh let me help you up I I I lift his foot I help him okay and then he shakes you off don't bother he makes eye contact with you but does another big check mark two check marks

which are like strikes two strikes of three. Three strikes and you're out. Play ball. Okay, well, luckily we'll be stopping at two. So that's kind of nice, right? You better hope. And he moves back up the stairs to the main floor.

What are you guys doing up here? That's a great question. Searching furiously. Why don't you guys all roll perception? Seven with everything all together. Okay. 21. Oh, were there no bodies under the napkins?

Okay. Okay, seven and 21. okay cool so chalice you're kind of only half looking anyways and really wanting to take your break uh so you don't really see much of any clues um beef you're looking over uh in the corner by your stuff, because you were also checking on your loot, but it doesn't seem to be that damaged from the drink that Chalice threw. But while you're looking over there, you see some dried blood.

And the dried blood is kind of creating a trail. And the trail kind of goes out of your eyesight so you can choose to follow it or not yeah hey guys uh i think i found something uh chalice is leaning against the bar standing up but totally asleep and just and sebastian is just like maybe if we check our pockets there'll be like some sort of puzzle or clue or glyph that will kind of show us the way anybody have any glyphs no could you not hear me or I think I found something Sebastian also while you're looking through your pockets since you rolled a 21 in perception you've kind of taken in the scene and you've noticed that like now there's still um multiple tables that still have people at them uh one of them there's two people who kind of like are in

like cloaks um who look pretty shady to you um one is just someone who's like passed out from drinking at the table. And then another one is a couple of kids and you don't know where like their parents are, but they're like playing a little game at one of the tables. And then you also noticed the trail of blood that beef noticed. And wait, there's a trail. Yeah.

And so it looks like maybe someone was dragged. But now you guys are noticing. We'll follow the trail if you want. Yeah, let's follow the trail. Yeah. Cool. So when you follow that trail, but you notice that people were. It looks like you guys dragged people, the bodies around a good amount.

The night before. OK, so you notice that the trail leads to Beef's stage. Oh boy. Do you want to maybe do another perception check on the stage? Cool. I got a 22. Fuck, I got a three. Okay.

So Beef, you're just looking at, you just kind of get lost in the beauty of your instruments. I forgot that I drenched Beef's loot loot i hated that sentence that was disgusting i hated all those words i'm sorry what did you just do disgusting come on over here and drench beefs loot one more time oh my god oh man that's gonna get you some boos from the the audience good let them boo um so okay sab uh mr sebastian hugrant when you look at this uh stage and all the instruments you go into aragorn uh when he is doing his ranger thing looking at we're like two small hobbits lay here you know and and a scuffle broke out yeah that that's what you go into but it's you putting together with certainty that you guys weakened at Bernie's one of the bodies and made it play instruments.

So you would, you can definitely piece together. Oh, we must've had one of the bodies like take an instrument in its hand and fake play and saying, while we were super fucked up partying, um, and then drag it elsewhere. So,

uh, I assume you continue to follow the trail. Yeah. Okay. Can we say okay can we say at some point beef dragged the trail to just write the words beef and blood on this on the ground yes okay so now also i i'd like to know what seb in that moment when he finds that out he kicks something and breaks it that's what I want to know. It says beef. I'm going to kick a bucket.

It breaks your foot. We don't need to roll for that. It breaks your foot. Shush. Which wakes Chalice up for sure. Are you kidding me? I'm on my break. Just stack a couple of napkins on top of each other.

It'd be a pillow. No, I'm fucking awake now. Are you mad at me? No, I just wish I had a... My fucking foot. Who cares if you guys are mad? We gotta find this thing. Let's go.

Let's follow the blood. Yeah, let's go ahead and follow it. Whatever, you guys. I was pretty sure my dream was about to be a sex dream but whatever happy to be looking who was in your dream who was in your dream no one none of you and chalice gets a little red in the face you see that the the trail of dried blood is clearly from the bodies that were being dragged around bottoms up lead to like where the tables are. And as you're kind of following that trail,

you see that they get to the tables and it gets kind of confusing from there. Just then, Anton comes up the stairs with Chip and his other, he's on his second glass of wine now. Okay, time to keep this thing rolling. Oh, are you sure you don't want to step back outside? Are you sure you don't want to just go check out the back, see if anything's fishy back there? It might be fishy back there.

There's fish back there. We got fish. There's fish back there. We have so many fish. What makes you think I want to see fish? I'm here not to have a good time, but for my job. Do you understand? I mean, a man like you, tall, sexy, gorgeous,

must like eating fish, right? Look at the skin. Your skin is beautiful, supple, tight. Fish. You like fish, don't you? I like this one. He's had a couple glasses of wine and he's like, I get you. I get your thing.

And I like it. If you like beef, beef does this thing where um i'm about to lie beef okay beef does this thing where beef writes a song about you you can just tell beef a little bit about you and beef can write a whole song that rhymes rhymes right beef it will rhyme yeah yes well i was really enjoying your song and musings earlier he takes a seat on a stool and goes while i finish this second glass I guess it couldn't hurt for some music to accompany it but then it's back to the inspection absolutely so I'm gonna just need a couple of things about you before

I start the song are you married no I was married, but... Ooh. Yes. Sorry to hear about that. Both of them? Yes. I was married thrice and left thrice. Wow. A handsome young man such as yourself.

I'm 688. Oh, God god And what? Not a day over You look like Not a day over An age that you like to hear me say 50 Is that good for you? Oh I do

I am enjoying this one And then he pats you on the head Now more music While I enjoy this beautiful spirit. Alright, here we go. And it has to rhyme. He looks behind him like, are you talking to me? He looks around. I mean, I feel like that improves it. Okay, so while Beef is getting into it, what are y'all doing?

I'm looking at them like, did you find the body? But I'm not saying it. I'm mouthing. Did you find the body? And I'm going, ha-uh. Ha-uh. You're like, is that uh-huh? That's hard.

That is hard. Ha-uh. You cannot mouth read ha-uh. Ha cannot mouth read yes or no yes or no chalice is throwing up in uh to his pocket well it's technically chip is the one wearing it. Okay. Yes, Seb's fans. One, two, three, four, five. And here's your song that rhymes. It's about how you are alone.

No one to bone, all alone. A is for how f***ing lonely you are. L is for lady, get over here. You want a bone? I'm alone. This is the alone bone song. The alone bone song. Okay, why don't you roll for your performance?

Yeah, you better watch. I was about to go somewhere else. Oh, no. I want to hear where you came from. It's a one plus five, so that's six. Did you naturally roll a one? Yeah. Okay.

So that's a natural fail. It's a botch. So why don't you roll those percentage die to see how bad of a failure this is Okay Because something bad is going to happen Because of how bad this is Oh no

This happens all the time 10% Oh it's a 10% failure so not the worst As you're playing and you're singing the Alone Bone song At first He's really into it It's very moving But it's too moving but it's too moving oh

it's making him sad yeah and it's making him angry his his emotions don't work through his body in the like the right way he doesn't process like a man like a man he's a man he's a man and so he's just getting angry all of a sudden he gets so angry that he bites the wine glass that he's drinking out of and just starts chewing the glass. Oh, my God. Somebody get this guy some Ratatouille. Somebody get this guy some Ratatouille. Somebody get this guy some Ratatouille stat. Make a flashback to his childhood.

Good Lord. Yeah, it's the exact. So in his head, what's actually happening is you sent him a flashback and you realize that all of his marriages were when he was a child it's the exact anti-ego flashback but instead it's him getting left but sad instead of happy and it's him getting left by all his uh his spouses as a child uh are you doing okay are you okay he just shakes his head no um let's check back in. Are you doing okay? Are you okay, Anton? He just shakes his head no. Let's check back in with you guys. Where is the body? You guys, I think I did.

I think I made. I don't know if you guys are going to believe this, but I think I made the situation worse. Beep, you look so casual, though. I absolutely believe it. You sort of just look like a dad watching a Little League game right now. Your hands are on your hips sort of like, it is what it is. This sort of feels like high stakes, B. It is what it is.

And you took the words right out of my mouth. Do you guys continue looking for the other body? Yeah, I'm like following the trail, but it's like in circles, because we must have, like, I'm going like full Aragon, and I'm like alright someone ballroom danced with the like with the body that is correct

I remember that being like pretty romantic it was I do remember there was far too much kissing with the dead body and by the spectators I think I could maybe help so I used to play with the dead body. Uh-huh. And by the spectators. I think I could maybe help.

So I used to play hide and seek with all of my butlers. And it was really crazy because it was 6,000 people. 6,000 butlers. So that's the cap. So that's the cap. 6,000 butlers in-house. We would outsource whatever else we needed. Outsource butlers. But those were the ones that lived with us.

So I'd play hide and seek with them. And so I found all these things and tricks into finding them. What? So if you just let me lead the way, I think I'll be- What the f*** are you saying? Beef, what are you saying? I'm speaking over you. I can't hear you while I'm talking.

Okay, well, Beef, if we- Beef, if you- Should i stop talking this is i thought that another song little round man another song and i want this one to be even sadder sing a happy absolutely do it do it okay uh and then chalice uh you are now kind of, roll perception again. You've taken the reins on this. This investigation. Okay, 14. Okay. You can tell that the body never left the area where the tables are.

I can tell that the body hasn't left. What are you saying? Beef, go away. Okay. Beef. Beef, seriously. Yeah? Beef, seriously. Beef, you have to go sing a song. Oh! He's watching you and that means he's watching us whisper. Oh, okay. I'm gonna

step out. Okay. He's just staring at you guys. He hasn't said a word, but blood is dripping out of his mouth from where he was chewing glass and he looks unhinged. Okay. Here I come, sir. You're a foot away from him when you say it like that. On my way. Okay, so it's somewhere here.

Because I can tell from this and the way that this went here, and everyone knows what I'm talking about because this is visual. So this went here, and that this went here and everyone knows what I'm talking about because this is visual. So this went here and then this went over here and then it's clear by this that that led to here. And then that's a who and this is the when.

This is the where. Why? Which is always sometimes a vowel. Occasionally. Which is interesting because subcommunicative. Okay, oh yeah, what? Huh? Huh? No, I'm saying like

huh, like uh-huh-huh. I'm sorry, are you saying are you saying that we should check our pockets for clues? No, I feel like you and I don't have a natural chemistry. I accidentally I accidentally...

I accidentally... When Seb says that, I do check my pockets. When Seb says that, I check my pockets and I just... My hands are covered in vomit. Seb, this is what I mean. I feel like we're not in danger of falling in love with each other. Because look, you may check his pockets.

Okay? I'm saying like, and I rest my case. The body is somewhere in this area. I'll be there real quick. On my way. I get it. The body's in this room. Okay, now we're back.

Okay. I will say you guys have all the information necessary to know where the body is now. Can I do a perception check like on the. Yeah. See if I just see where it is. So. Or could you run us through the clues? Okay.

Is it in the ceiling? So the biggest clue is after following the blood trails around, you have deduced that the body has never left its final resting place is where the tables are right now. Okay. Is he propped up as a patron? Why don't you roll perception? I just rolled natural 20. Okay.

That's got to be it. I was rolling cloaked, hooded figures. So if you recall, there was some people at some tables there was the two figures they you can tell from perceiving they're moving they're real there was two kids but then there was one person who was passed out at a table you can now see a little bit of blood trickling from their pant leg you forgot that you dressed up the body in different clothes and that passed out body is taylor at that table just sitting there in the open is a dead body and has been all day okay so sebastian you can tell you're only a few feet away that that is the dead body yeah can

we say that like i i was like triggered by the smell of, like, Chip bringing his hand out. And the smell of the vomit made me, like, go and have this vision of this, like, browned out, in and out moment from, like, the night before. I'm like, it's the man. It's the man. Right after we ballroom danced and we made his shoes out of Kleenex boxes, we sat him at the table. And you tried to make him laugh. You played the French horn. Can't talk right now.

I'm serenading. Don't worry. Don't worry. I'm just getting through something. Beef was trying to make him laugh, and we were laughing because Beef was so fucked up and kept on eating goldfish. Just kept on eating goldfish,

and this guy wasn't laughing. But he was dead. He was dead. This man is dead. Beef, what are you doing right now? How's your song going? You'll never be good enough for anyone. Love isn't you.

You'll die alone. Alone in bone. Bone alone. Looks like we just kind of went and do another song here. I shouldn't have made beef rhyme. I feel like I'm holding it back. Yeah, really sick with the Bone

and Alone thing. The Bone and Alone is pretty prominent in these songs. Yeah. Anton is like, okay, you're just gonna keep rhyming Bone and alone i'm this is over i'm done okay he smashes what's left of his glass on the ground and he goes broken glass hey hey

that's dangerous no you did that you did that i i pull out i pull out a piece of paper and i put a check on it. What? Give me that. You don't like that, do you? He tries to... He just... Oh, sir. Uh-uh. This is the one that matters. It's got the seal on it. He actually stands up and he goes, I just need to sit down.

I need to sit down. He just stood up. This guy looks like he's on my level. Maybe I'll have a drink with him. Um, no. No? No. I'll tell you why.

I'm about to go on a date with him and you wouldn't ruin a date, would you? Stupid. She doesn't date much. He would. He would because he can't get anyone to fall in love with him. Okay, you know what? He breaks another bottle on the floor.

If someone doesn't clean this up right away then that's going to get a checkmark. I just check. I do another check. I do another check. I say, sir, you break one more thing, you're getting kicked out of here. Okay? These are expensive things that you're breaking.

You get one more check, and you're out. Three checks. I'm going to get kicked out with these, and I'm showing them my fist. Yeah. And I also show my fist. And I shake my tushy. And I hold my chest, because I'm feeling self-conscious about my C-cups. Well, there's one thing you forgot to mention.

And you thought I wouldn't notice. Your massive rat problem. Hey. His name's Beef. Yeah. Hey, that's our friend Beef. Yeah. his name's beef yeah yeah that's hey that's our friend beef yeah he slams the walking cane that he was holding on the ground that had like the uh head of remy the rat um on it and it begins to glow and all of a sudden you hear like a rumble you know the floor kind of like starts to rumble and an enormous horde of rats

comes exploding into bottoms up what do we do to this guy you got in the wrong side of the prince and every action there is a reaction i am the reaction you thought that the the kingdom would allow you to keep open as establishment after Chalice just decided to leave the throne? No! You will pay the ultimate price. What's that?

Anton? I'm just gonna say it. I miss our old guy, Rudy. I think Rudy's dead. Honestly, after this, I'm certain Rudy is dead. No, he this, I'm certain Rudy is dead. No, he's on forced vacation. Everyone loves Rudy. Yeah, we do too.

He's on a cruise with his wife. He's loving it, from what we can tell. How many freaking rats are around here? Think of like, yeah, there's hundreds. Almost a thousand. I don't want to kill this guy. I feel like if we kill this guy, we're just going to get more of this on our hands.

How can we Pied Piper the rats out of here? I got it. Yes. The Titty Diddy. Yes. Do it. Every rat loves a Titty Diddy. Wait, I have an idea. Let's all look at all of the rats.

Does any of them stand out? Does one look like it's the leader? Because I could befriend that one and convince it to leave and the other ones would go with it. Wait a second. Is Anton wearing a hat? I check under. If he is, I check under his hat.

He was not wearing a hat. Oh, okay. Well. Anton makes a final check mark on his clipboard and goes, you have failed. Your license will be revoked. I do a check, too. I do a check. I do a hard.

Your checks. Quit checking things. They're meaningless. You failed. Dude, you're out, man. I don't know. It looks like he's got three checks. You're out.

I don't know. It looks like he's got three checks. You're out. A swarm of rats has exploded into Bottoms Up and are crawling and scratching every which way. And he's marked his final check mark saying you didn't pass and is about to exit the bar in victory. Fuck. He goes, good luck with the rat problem. I don't know, guys. I don't know guys I don't know

I think this is it we're done we're doomed we gotta kill him let's just let's talk to him first let's talk to him first I'm down to kill him and I'm down for murder I'm always in the mood let's freaking talk to this guy say what he wants this is all my fault guys

just before we figure it out this is all my fault I did a terrible before we figure it out, this is all my fault. I did a terrible first day. I'm making a terrible first impression. I'm the reason for our problems, and I'll probably be the reason for a lot of our problems going forward, considering what I did was a pretty big deal. And I'm really sorry, but I do think it's good that that guy ate glass,

so he's probably not going to have a great life from this moment forward but i'm still sorry chalice i think you i think you maybe take the charge and try and fix this thing for us oh but i feel like it's time for my break chalice this has to be time for my break at this point are you serious i'm i'm just gonna i'm just gonna reach behind my back and i'm gonna pull out a spear and it's like one of those kind of like the old lightsabers that like are inside of it. And I just like fling it out. And I'm like,

I'm done talking. All right. You guys can try it. You guys can try it, but I'm killing. Anton sees that Seb has released the spear, uh, hears it as he's walking out the door and goes,

Oh, you motherfuckers want to fight. Do you? Why did you say fight? I don't know. I'm hungover. Sitcom D&D is sponsored by BetterHelp. And with that said, I've got a question for you.

What's the right amount, the perfect amount of socializing for you? And how do you recharge? Maybe you thrive around people or maybe you need a little alone time. Therapy can give you self-awareness to build a social life that doesn't drain your battery. I think before I started going to therapy, I thought it was some sort of situation where I would present a problem and it would get solved immediately by a stranger. And I doubted the efficacy of that. But that's not really what therapy is, at least in my experience.

It's more about slowly building a relationship with a professional that you trust so that you can be honest and vulnerable and talk these things through and get a new perspective. And with that said, if you are thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. So you just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. So find your social sweet spot with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash sitcom D&D today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash SitcomD&D. So he slams down his walking cane and the bronze cast, Remy, had glows bright blue again, and he yells, attack. Like us?

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Now the swarm is attacking you guys, and it's their turn. Okay, so this swarm of rats comes through, bustling people that were at the table, at the tables there. The two hooded people jump out at the table at the tables there. The two hooded people like jump out of like, what the fuck? The kids are screaming like they've never screamed before.

The rats are knocking chairs over and they get to sab and they swarm up you and start trying to bite you. They rolled a 14 that hits. Oh, that's going to be six points of damage. So these things just start biting into you and nipping your ear. They're not taking huge chunks out of you, but there's so many that it's doing a good amount of damage. Gross. And then, Beef, you're up. You're the next to react.

I should do something. What kind of spells does Beefy Boy have? Vicious mockery. You unleash a string of insults laced with subtle enchantments at a creature you can see within range. If the target can hear you, though it need not understand you, it must succeed

on a wisdom saving throw. Or take 1d4 psychic damage and have disadvantage on the next attack roll it makes before the end of the next turn so who better to try that than you beef who've already gotten to the core of this person's pain so he rolled an eight so he fails so what do you say to him i say the one thing that will absolutely destroy this motherfucker which is with which is you sir are a f***ing toad all of a sudden it zooms in on his eyeball and you do another ratatouille flashback so he was playing pretend with his friends growing up and jumping around like a little frog and like it's the toad he's like you guys want to play frogs with me like you're the toad and they all jump on his back he's like get up like toadad, toad! And then we come back to present day

and he takes five psychic damage because of that. Chaus, you are up. I'm going to send a fireball to the staff. Oh, his little stick. We gotta break the stick. Yeah, break his little stick. And that's gonna be my target. So not even him, just little stick. We got to break the stick. Yeah, break his little stick. And that's going to be my target. So not even him, just the staff.

But he's like little cane thing. Okay. A flammable object hit by the spell ignites if it isn't being worn or carried. Shit. He's carrying it. I didn't see the carried part. You can just hit him. You can just hit him.

So I'll just aim for him. 17. That hits. Okay, what do you say when you shoot a fireball at him? Achoo! I sneeze right when I throw it. That's fun. That.

That's sort of like the one little thing. When she throws a fireball, she just is like. Oops. She's allergic to it. Achoo! That's how her sneezes sound. Ready? You can add that.

Sean, I'm'm gonna give you some options here we go all right oh that one's good lady wow firebolt sneeze uh yeah just aaron why don't you stay around afterwards we'll record like 15 minutes more of that yeah oh yeah absolutely um sebastian you are up next cool can i do an animal handling check to see if i spin around really quickly, if I can fling all of the rats off of me. Sure. I'll also let you do an action after that, too. Nobody's helping you. 19. Cool, so you spin

around, and rats are trying to hang on with their teeth, but their back legs are hanging off as you spin faster and faster, and then eventually, one by one, they lose their teeth grip and fly off. Their tooth grips. Their tooth grips. as they you spin faster and faster and then they eventually one by one they like lose their tooth their teeth grip and fly off their tooth their tooth grips all right and then as my action i'm

going to uh cast create bonfire on or no i'm going to use poison spray on the grouping of the flown off rats hell yeah nice 13 to hit. That hits. Boom, gassed them. How much damage does that do? Oh, I didn't even, I was just really happy. I think that's the first poison spray. That's gone, actually. Yeah, that's actually worked for people.

Fuck yeah. Oh, 10 damage to those fuckers. Roast them. Chip, you're up. I know what we're having for dinner tonight. Rats, baby. Rats. Except here's the thing.

I want these rats on my side. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to go up to Mr. Anton Ego. I'm going to try and rip that cane away from his ass. Oh, shit. Smart. Quite muscularly, I do roll a 23. Oh, shit. Holy shit. His muscles. All right, he's going to contest it. quite muscularly I do roll a 23 holy shit his muscles he's gonna contest it

okay go ahead please try well let's see here no he's a little skinny dude he rolled pretty high you guys are both grabbing onto it straining whatever it's fucking ancient You guys are both grabbing onto it, straining. Whatever.

Yeah, whatever. It's fucking ancient. You ultimately do get to rip it away from him. Yes. As I rip it away, I say, say my name. I forgot what it is. No. No. Okay, so that was your turn.

You've got the staff now okay now it's anton's turn he's gonna take out a dagger and just try to stab you in the stomach with it try to gut you no yeah go ahead he rolled a 23 hmm that does it A 23. Hmm. That does hit me. Do you care though? Wow, you are so cocky. But do you care? I don't care. He never cares.

I'm a sandwich. So that does 12 damage. He now, instead of doing a second attack, he's going to try and steal the cane back. But because you just got stabbed, you'll have disadvantage. And so he rolled a seven. Okay. I rolled an eight. No way.

Yeah, with disadvantage, I rolled an eight. Wow. Cool. So you're like struggling over it for a while. And then you end up, you just got stabbed. You're like, oh, you kind of winded, but rip it out of his hands. And he's going to take his additional bonus action to just get out of the way. He's going to try to like, he jumps behind the bar now.

Okay. That's for employees only. Nice. Nice. I love beefs. New catchphrase. Now, Chip, you look over and the entire swarm of rats are standing

at polite attention looking at you. Oh, how cute! Should we name them? I pick one up and I put them on my head and I put a chef's hat on. Yay! Cool, cool, cool. I love it.

And I put on my hat and I say, rats, intimidate. And I want them to all swarm and really surround him and look menacingly at him. They're like punching their little tiny fist. They're all punching tiny fists. And pointing up to the sky kissing it kissing their fists and pointing up to the sky oh my god i love it okay he is effectively intimidated just don't kill me, please. We want one strike off. That's it. We're simple.

We're simple B&B runners. We're easy to please. One fewer strike. It's not that hard. And I want. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, boy. Go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. Oh, no. Oh, boy. Go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. And I want you to go back to the castle and tell them to stop harassing me and my friends. And if you can spare it, send over several hundred butlers.

Because I don't know how to do shit without them. I miss them. Okay, okay. I'll do whatever you want. I miss them Okay, okay, I'll do whatever you want Now, when I go back And I tell them I can't tell them what has happened here

They'll kill me So I need to tell them that this whole situation Has been taken care of Any idea on what lie I can say? Why do we have to help you? Ooh, ooh, ooh Yeah, lie Yeah, we just won

Yeah, man you die with us we've been thinking of stuff all day today i'm at my wits end i got nothing more to give you think of something how about that pal we've been lying like crazy that guy that guy's a dead guy the guard over there that guy was a dead guy but the guy didn't lie the cool guy downstairs yeah he's not he's a mute wait freaking dead how cool is he beef what you're hungover someone give beef or burrito okay i i i actually do have a solution for you i'm gonna be the bigger person thank princess. I've always been such a big fan. Oh, shut up. Oh, yeah, you've been a big fan. Shut the fuck up. You've been a big fan of mine.

Listen. Tell him I'm dead. Eh? Eh? I sneezed again. I'm sorry. I think I'll need proof of some sort. What can I give them?

I'm gonna spit out the last rat that I didn't spin off was still in my mouth, and I'll need proof of some sort. What can I give them? I'm going to spit out the last rat that I didn't spin off was still in my mouth. And I'll spit that to the ground. And I'll go, a lock of her hair. Beef scissors. Sking. No sound effect necessary for that in part. Beef just always has scissors perfectly available. No sound effect necessary for that in part. Thief just always has scissors perfectly available. Chalice impulsively grabs her C-cups again because she's just nervous.

But my hair! You need to change your hairstyle to be dead. Oh, so make it more beautiful and keep growing it longer? Short and sexy. Honestly, I think you'd look good with short hair. I think it'd be super cute. Did you start saying short and sexy and then bail? Yeah, he really did.

He bailed hard. Short and sweet and nice. All right. Well, today I'm feeling a lot of- Like friend hair. Like hair that a friend would have. Yeah, cut your hair like a friend. Okay.

And maybe a tooth. All right. Maybe a tooth or two. No. Use your own teeth. I'll kill you. Use your own teeth. Yes, but we use your teeth.

Oh. All right. Let's use some of your teeth, huh? See how you like it. Beef? Yeah. Shing. Give me the Rachel.

You got it, sister. Okay, now give me a haircut. You got it, sister. All right, Beef, why don't you roll to see your craftsmanship here? Oh, no. Oh, no. Last time I have Elizabeth cut, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Last time I have Elizabeth cut my hair. Oh, Elizabeth. It's not good. It's a five altogether. Oh, boy. Well, the Rachel was bad enough as it is. Hey, I've never seen a Rachel. I hate you.

Really in New York right there. Yeah. So Beef tries to give you the Rachel haircut. As we all recall, it's like kind of bangs that go all the way around like the side of your head that I like, you know, cut really sharply in towards your chin at the bottom. Right. That's the Rachel. That's what I want. When I nailed it.

Yeah. They're like angles. Yeah. A bunch of choppy little angles. Okay, but the thing is, with this haircut, somehow beefed at a number on it where who knows how this even happened, but all the angles meet underneath your chin. So it is just a nonstop circle of hair

all the way around your head. How do I look? Is it short and sexy? You look like a friend. What? You look like a friend. Oh, that's shallow. I'm just really glad we have no chemistry at all. I don't know.

I'm starting to feel it sort of at the end there when we're yelling at each other. But it's gone. I'm telling you right now after this haircut, it's gone. You're welcome. Okay. Well, good luck having anyone root for me to fall in love with any of you because of one, I assume, great haircut. I haven't seen it yet. Hopefully it's perfect. Here.

I do have one more request for Anton Ego. Yes? And that is for Anton. as you when you leave and go back to the castle you do give us a five-star review and and please share your deep and thoughtful review with us and it doesn't have to be something you come up with right now yes okay you can go home feel free to spend some time to write it think about it but it is something that i would love for you to do. Smile. Of course, anything you want. Of course, of course.

And as to the lonely chalice, I would love to take you as a- Lonely? Huh? Weren't you just saying that you were lonely? I think he's asking her out right now. What the heck's he doing right now? The ball's on this guy. Are you lonely?

People are saying that they don't have chemistry with you. I feel like maybe we could have a thing going. What? Divorce three times. Bail. Dude, bail. Get out of here. I don't know.

He ate glass and he's the only one who likes my haircut. Oh, come on, Chalice. What? Girl's gotta eat. There's an end cut scene where we see that they didn't get together. He has these walking out of Bottoms Up and has to go back to the castle. So on his way back out to he kind of looks back behind him and goes, come on, guys. And then takes a few steps, then looks back.

And none of the rats, none of the swarm has followed him. Oh, I got them. They're mine now. Come on. But I think we made a connection more than than just the staff. Right, Peter, Henry, Tiffany, Julie, Jackson, Pierre, connection more than than just the staff right peter henry tiffany julie jackson pierre daphne fred scooby-doo scooby-doo is on my head scooby- Scooby Tooby. Scooby Ratatouille. Scooby Dooby.

Scooby Dooby Tooby. Ratatouille. His name is Scooby Dooby Ratatouille. Ratatouille. Scooby Dooby Ratatouille. Oh, yeah. That hit good. But he says all the names and they all just, you know, shake their head.

I'm kind of like of almost embarrassed for him. And then he goes, well, I will write that review. Thank you for letting me live. Maybe I'll take a vacation. You're welcome. And stay out. Damn, we took everything from this man. Maybe I'll take a vacation like your friend Rudy.

Maybe that'll be nice. Maybe that can be my life. Maybe I can be. vacation like your friend Rudy. Maybe that'll be nice. Maybe that can be my life. Maybe I can be- Why are you still here? I can't wait for Rudy to come back. I'm so excited for Rudy to come back. You just keep talking, my guy. And I think at the end of the day,

we all realized that we just needed to talk, get to know each other. And maybe we weren't so different after all. Dude, this is the saddest guy. It'd be mercy to kill him. The rats come out and start doing their intimidating puns again. Okay, okay, I get it.

Only Jason wants to come with me. Jason? Jason shakes his head and just jumps back into my mouth. With his little feet dangling off the side like he's just totally at home. And I tell him, I didn't even do that. I didn't even make him do that.

He chose to do that. Alright, well beef, let's get out of here. I'm not coming with you. Yes. You said I was kind of sexy and stuff before. Yeah, but that was after you started crying

and shitting yourself. Oh, you noticed? Yeah. A man that shits himself always sees another man shitting himself. And hey, tell them that I'm happy. No, you're telling them I'm dead. Say happily dead.

Happily dead. Tell them I'm happily dead. She died with a smile on her face That's good Alright Well I love you guys No No No

No I hate goodbyes I'm closing the door Leave me and my new best friends Alone Girls gotta eat I'm closing the door. Leave me and my new best friends alone. Girls gotta eat. Sitcom D&D is comprised of Elizabeth Andrews, Ben Briggs, Aaron Keefe, Waleed Mansour, and me, Sean Coyle. Our theme was written by none other than the Arnie Parrott, and I did the editing on this one.

Thanks so much for listening. To stay up to date on the show, you can follow us on Instagram and Twitter and sitcom D&D. That's sitcom, and then the letters D, N as in nut, and D. If you've enjoyed our first two episodes and you're hungry for more, you can head to our Patreon at patreon.com slash sitcom D&D, where we'll be releasing a bonus episode every week. Episodes like Get to Know Your Happy hours bad sitcom improv where we read the breakdowns of failed

sitcoms and do our best at improvising the pilot chips tips where chip doles out relationship advice and one shots in other tv genres so if any of that sounds interesting to you head over to patreon.com slash sitcom dnd patreon is the fuel that this show runs on so if you like it consider joining if you can it, consider joining. If you can't help us financially, you can still help us out a ton by rating this show and subscribing wherever you get podcasts, or by recommending the show to a friend who likes weird shit.

I think that's it for now. Until next week. And thanks, as always, for listening. That was a HeadGum Podcast. listening.