SitcomD&D - S2 E16: You Know That Thing Where...

Episode Date: November 29, 2022

FLASHBACK: When The Last Men Standing have Bottom’s Up surrounded and demand that Chip turn himself over, he is forced to reveal the truth about his heroic, dragon slayer origins… Do I smell a flashback episode?! Starring: Erin Keif, Waleed Mansour, Elizabeth Andrews, Sean Coyle, and Ben Briggs. Theme Song by Arne Parrott Artwork and story concept by Waleed Mansour Edited by Grace Harper Like the show? Rate SitcomD&D 5 stars on Apple Podcasts and leave a review.  Buy some SitcomD&D merch Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok: @SitcomDnD Advertise on SitcomD&D via Gumball.fm Support our Patreon at Patreon.com/SitcomdndSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Because I was like, just play it cool, Elizabeth Like, don't keep bringing up the soup Like, if she likes the soup, she'll bring it up And then she brought it up twice without me saying anything And then she went over and got seconds So I think, me think And then she got distracted by a red laser dot on the ground for a while Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah And then I had a rubber belly

You're joking, but that's not too far off of the experience Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then I have a rubber belly. You're joking, but that's not too far off of the experience of when I go over to a visit. Welcome back to Sitcom D&D, a real play Dungeons & Dragons podcast recorded in front of a fake studio audience. Today, you guessed it, we're picking up inside Bottoms Up, where today's a little bit slower than usual. And to pass the time, the gang is surrounding the bar, hanging out, and debating which one of them is the tallest. And so that's what we're going to pick up. So, I should know this. Okay, here we go.

Oh my God. Leave this in. Leave this in. Quiet on set. Quiet on set. Sound speeding. And we're rolling. Dice

When you need a break from this crazy world To see your friends and fill a cup Find Sebastian, Chalice, Chip and Beef At the Noble Bottoms Up As step by step our growing pains Are improving home and away We're feeling absolutely fabulous On another happy day

We're in different worlds with different strokes But the good times will not end So cheers to all our family and our friends Starring Aaron Keith as Chalice Glass Elizabeth Andrews as Beef, Waleed Mansour as Chip Ahoy, Ben Briggs as Sebastian Von Hugh Grant, and Sean Coyle as everything else.

Sitcom D&D is filmed in front of a fake studio audience. We open on a doorframe with, you know, like a childhood where it's like different markers on the wall. Yeah. Beef is standing underneath his and he didn't grow at all. Beef, I'm actually really concerned. You're about a solid half inch shorter than this last tick. I might be shrinking you guys a little.

Your body is consuming itself. Yeah, but Beef has a good point. You guys are about the same height. What? Huh. Right? No. Right? No. Am I crazy? Based on the marks. I mean, if we're reading the marks. Oh, yeah.

Butt to butt. Come over here, Seb. Butt to butt. Let's see if our cheeks touch. Butt to butt. You're sticking your nose directly into my ass right now. Smells good. You put perfume up there? Seb. Yeah, I'm kind of in a less showers, more cologne sort of scenario right now. I see you. What are you wearing nowadays? Sauvage. Seb. Yeah, I'm kind of in a less showers, more cologne sort of scenario right now. I see you.

What are you wearing nowadays? Sauvage. Oh. I'm not going to expand on that at all. You don't have to. No, I respect it. Okay, Chip, butt to butt.

Okay. Uh-oh. What do you mean, uh-oh? It looks like Chalice is a little bit taller. Yeah, that's canon. Well, that's just because she has big, tall hair

right now, right? My hair's never been flatter. No, that's canon. Well, that's just because she has big, tall hair right now, right? My hair's never been flatter. No, it's huge and big and tall, and I'm definitely... Well, do you have big boots on? Let me check your boots. Why is your butt so warm? Okay, well,

I was trying Seb's cologne, and I think I'm allergic. Your ass is huge. Oh, it's probably weighing me down, and that's why I'm shorter than Chalice. That makes sense So I'm the tallest

That's established Just when I have a big swollen butt Yeah No, your butt doesn't make you It's weighing me down Because it's big and swollen What are you talking about? I'm the tallest

And then it's Beef And then it's you And then it's Seb Seb is the shortest in the group No We can all agree on that, can't we guys? High five Attention

Attention You guys hear someone yelling from outside of Bottoms Up? We can all agree on that, can't we, guys? Attention! Attention! You guys hear someone yelling from outside of Bottoms Up? Now we have you surrounded. This is AIM talent from the last men standing. We have it on good authority that Chip A. Hoy, known Dragon Slayer, is in fact not dead and residing inside your establishment. Now we have many men out here. So hand him over.

Who is it? Good, good, good, good. Did you not hear any of that from before? Well, the doors and windows are closed, so I don't know how we. All right, here, let me open a window. We are the last men standing. And then you hear like 30 people go, and we have you surrounded.

Hand over chip ahoy, or things are going to get spicy. How spicy? One more time? Could you say that one more time? I think I just bought us some time, you guys. I got to go find my mustache. Where's my fake mustache?

Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick. Wig wagon two. All right, that's it. We're lighting the place on fire, quick, quick, quick. Wig wagon two. All right. That's it. We're lighting the place on fire. Whoa. No, no. That'll get them out of here. I mean, yeah, I guess.

And they take torches and they put it to bottoms up. And bottoms up starts to catch fire. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Chip is a dragon slayer. Chalice grabs Chip and starts pulling him towards the door. No, you're going to kill me. Talk to him. I'm going to go him towards the door. No, they're gonna kill me! I'm gonna go to jail or something. Yeah, we're gonna

kill you or you're gonna go to jail. It's one of those. Which one? You'll find out. I can hear him. He's in there. Oh, God. Are you guys really gonna give me up? I guess for the sake of the bar, should I just sacrifice myself? Oh, what to do, what to do, what to do. Sacrifice self.

I got an idea, and then I pull a bunch of dummies that I've had underneath the bar that are all dressed like us. The dummies will burn up. We'll go into the basement. We will survive. They'll think that we're all dead, and that we can start a... Seb, have you had sex with any of these dummies?

I know the place is on fire, and that's not important right now. No, it is important. It is important. It's kind of weird. His dummy is naked. All of ours is dressed. Good point. Okay, are you insinuating that I've had sex with my own dummy? Yes, Seth, that's exactly what we're saying. I don't want to expand on this one either.

Oh, it looks like the flames are getting a little bit big. We should probably... Oh, yeah. Let's run out the back door. Let's just do a back door. Yeah, let's do that. Jennifer, come on! What? I'm sleeping! Aren't you supposed to be working? Aren't you taking me? Shut up,

Chalice! Let's leave her. No! Leave her. Yeah, can we leave out the back door? We did everything that we could. She's our best friend. You can leave Jennifer if you want. Yeah, we're going to leave her.

We'll leave her. She'll figure it out. All right, let's leave out the back door. See what happens. Okay, as you get to the back door, you see that there's 15 men standing at the back door as well. No. You know, that makes sense.

Oh, they did say surrounded. Yeah. I'm now remembering what surrounded means. Gosh, this is such a Sunday. Am I right, guys? It's a Wednesday. No, it's a Wednesday. All right.

I think it's just time I be honest with you guys about what happened. I think this is the only way that we can save ourselves in the bar. What happened, buddy? You know how I did that thing where you get swallowed by a dragon and burst your way out killing it? Yeah. Okay, here's what really happened. And we take you back in time

to an underground cavern on the outskirts of a bustling town known as Scrantonia. A torch is lit and it illuminates the darkness of the cavern as well as the face of a young, confident Chip Ahoy. Waleed, do you want to describe what Chip looks like at this point? Unreceding hairline, first and foremost. He's got a rocking six-pack abs, washboard style. He's got

some big ol' shoulders, big ol' guns. Actually pretty similar to what they are now, but they're just fewer fat cells surrounding those muscles nowadays. And he's actually wearing a lot of the same stuff except the sleeves on his jacket fit, so they're still there at this point.

And he's looking suave. He's got a little soul patch. And he's looking suave. He's got a little soul patch. And he's looking good. This is the height of when he thinks himself famous and folklorian. This is like the peak of his abilities and the peak of his hotness, I would say, frankly. And he isn't traveling alone. In fact, in this dimly lit cavern tunnel, he's surrounded by his young adventuring party.

All right, so this is Stinky. He is a three-foot-tall humanoid skunk rogue. Okay, yeah, Stinky for sure. He has a little mohawk and his eyebrow is pierced. He wears steampunk goggles and Oshkosh Bagosh Hickory Stripe train overalls that are meant for a toddler every day. He's hungover and he has a man cave in the cave that he lives in.

His tail, Finn, who only he understands, is his best friend in the whole wide world. Does he have like a dolphin? He has a tail, Finn, or the tail's name, he calls it Finn. His tail's name is Finn. He thinks it's funny because he have like a dolphin? He has a tail fin or the tail's name he calls it fin? His tail's name is fin. He thinks it's funny because he's not a fish. That is funny. It is funny.

Stinky's funny. And he's f***ing insane. Okay. Alright. I am a mountain dwarf and my name is Credence Clearwater Revival. I am a cleric, and I am a blessed man.

I am here to save and revive if needed. And I talk like this, and I go, what's up? Are you workshopping the voice in real time? Yeah, I'm kind of workshopping. I should have done this on my own time, you guys. We'll figure it out together. It's a group activity. Does he go by CCR for short or Credence?

CCR, please. Okay, perfect. I'm a tiefling sorceress, and my name is Gorgina Georgina. And my skin is Sherbert Peach. And I have a slight fuzz all over my entire body. And I'm wearing the famous short skirt combo called a skort. And I have a shirt that says, please like me JK but deep down you know she's not JKing

and my hair is like if you took a whipped cream can and you made a little dollop on my head but it's made out of hair not cream don't get me get me twisted. And oh, yeah. And I have huge, supple fingers. What the hell does that mean? I mean, I agree, but what does that mean? And I have my battle staff, which has a little glass ball at the top of it, and that's strung over my back. And that's my battle staff. I'm Gorgina Georgina. Yeah! Okay, so that's the party that Chip is rolling with

down this cavern tunnel. And then you also hear another voice kind of chip in, if you'll allow the pun. So, you hear this. This is as far as I go. I'm sorry. I can't go any further. And it's an older man wearing like formal, nicer nobility clothing and robes. Something terrible waits in the darkness back there. I'll be waiting with the rest of the village at the mouth of the cave. Good luck. If anyone can save our children,

it's you and your team, Chip. God bless. God bless you. Hey, CCR, you want to bless this guy? Okay. How about like this? You are blessed. The moon, the stars. No, I don't really like that.

Oh, I liked it, CCR. He's already turned. He's walking down away from the tunnel. Just be careful and please bring our children back. Blessings, blessings, blessings. Thanks, CCR. All right, crew. No problem.

We'll figure that out, CCR. We'll workshop that more. Ready to save some kids? Like always? Yeah, I'm ready. Just another day. Just another day. We walk deeper into the cavern.

Okay. I'm going to have everyone roll a perception check. Nine. Georgina got 13. 18. Okay. Stinky, as you walk deeper into the cavern, you notice that something seems to kind of be around.

And in fact, you kind of see the shadow of something moving what seems like in and out of the walls. Stinky, what is it? What do you see, Stinky? Not sure what it is, but it's moving out of the walls. Stinky, what is it? What do you see, Stinky? Not sure what it is, but it's moving out of the wall. I don't know. Finn's going nuts. Sorry, Finn has a big crush on you, Georgina.

You can't stop talking about it. Hey, join the club, doesn't everybody? Georgina. All right, Finn, you check it out. I said you check it out, Finn. Come on, buddy. I'm not a coward. You're the coward. Hey, why, Finn, you check it out. I said you check it out, Finn. Come on, buddy. I'm not a coward. You're the coward.

It's all right. I'll check it out. I'll check it out. All right, Chip puffs his chest out and walks manly towards the wall. Are you going to do an investigation? Yeah, I'll investigate. 13. You see that the wall, it's really dark. When you get up close to it,

there are large other passages coming off the wall at different heights on the cavern wall. And when you touch it, you don't know what's going on, but it's pretty sticky. Gorgina wants to come up right behind Chip, and she's going to put her supple fingers on top of Chip's fingers to feel the stickiness too. Oh my God. Oh my God. Do you want to investigate it as well? Yeah, I do.

And because you have such big supple fingers, I'll let you roll with advantage. I love it. Oh, I got a 17. Okay. You immediately recognize that this is spider webs. Oh, my God. And not just regular spider webs, but just by the size of it, this is probably a giant spider web. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I know what this is. What's going on? This is spider webs, and not only just regular spider webs. Well, what kind could they be? It's giant. Ginormous. No! Guys, get your weapons ready.

I'm worried we might be not alone. Stinky runs over and grabs some of the spider webs and puts them on his hands and feet just in case he needs to crawl up the walls. Nice. Good thinking, Stinky. As Stinky does that, leaving CCR behind, the only one about 20 feet behind now,

does a 17 hit? Yes, absolutely, that hits. Okay. You are restrained by webbing. No one else is really looking back at you right now, CCR. And to make matters worse, the spider has come down, a giant spider, has restrained you from your mouth down to your toes,

and is now pulling you up and to go through a different tunnel coming off the ceiling. I can't say anything, right? Why don't you roll to try to call out, with disadvantage, Constitution, we'll say. So I got a 19 and I got a botch. So, with disadvantage, it's botch. Damn. You're completely silent. In fact,

you kind of make a sound that somehow just sounds like you're saying everything's fine. Don't worry about me. Maybe not that. Something like that. He's still trying to figure out his voice.

Yeah. All right. We got to find these kids. I think that's the number one priority is locate the kids. Sure, sure. Okay. So, Stinky, maybe if you want to climb up and around, see if you can find anything as you climb up the wall.

Yeah, I'm on it. And he's off. All right. Great. He goes so fast. Hey, Chip. Now that we're kind of alone, I just wanted to say the other people in the crew have been kind of talking shit about you Behind your back Georgina, I know you're always trying to bring up the drama and amp up the drama

But those two are two of my best buds in the entire world I don't know And I don't think we're gonna go there Well, I just gotta say And if you wanna start some drama, maybe we can start some between you and me Oh, you wish chip and she wipes her hand on her crack of her butt and then shoves it into his face chalice goes uh sorry um sorry chip yeah uh is this important to the story uh i guess it

yeah it builds my character at the time and kind of, you know, my promiscuous past has been established many times canonically. I just feel like that part's not as important as the other parts. So you could just like. Okay, so we can skip past. Okay, so then we're sitting there topless. Oh, God. Okay. What a wild ride, Georgina.

That was pretty wild. Yeah, you really know how to pull my strings, baby. With this push and pull between us. Move on, Chip. Move on. What happened with the butt crack? This is Seb. Seb, doesn't matter.

Speaking of strings, where's that spider? Stinky! CCR? Wait, where's everybody? Okay, Stinky does a 22 hit. I assume it does. Oh my God, yeah. Definitely. Wait, where's everybody? Okay, Stinky does a 22 hit. I assume it does. Oh my God, yeah.

Definitely. Okay, then you get entangled in a web while you're ahead of the gang. Get pulled into a different cave hole that comes off the main one into the darkness. And Stinky is also taken. Chip and Georgina are like putting their squirts back on after they've romped around with a little afternoon delight. Yeah, where is everybody?

Stinky? CCR? We got to make sure not to separate. Give me those big supple fingers of yours. Hold on to my hand. Squeeze it. Okay, we're holding on to hands so that none of us, we cannot be separated anymore. And I guess we continue deeper into the cavern.

Okay. Does an eight hit Georgina? It doesn't. I'm 14. Armor class. So this gives away the position of the spider. It goes to shoot a web at you. It hits just off to the side of Georgina and you both look up and see a giant spider looming over you. It drops down to the floor. It's now facing you and books it to try to escape down the tunnel and it's going to take like a left down a different passage. Whoa.

I feel sorry for this guy because he's about to get blasted. Yeah, seems like it's the last day of this guy's existence. Yeah. I'll take an opportunity attack. I take out my big old battle axe, which I do have at this time, and I do swing it at the giant spider. That's a 24 hit. Big time.

You get him, Chip. 10 damage. Whoa, okay, cool. So that definitely did some pretty good damage. One of the legs of the giant spider fully comes off. Georgina, are you going to do an opportunity strike here? 100%. I'm going to take out my long battle staff, and

I'm going to do a firebolt, because I got firebolt. Nice. I'm going to blast his ass. 14. That does hit. Thank God. Georgina's badass, so. Now how much damage does that do? You're right. A 6? badass, so. Now, how much damage does that do? You're right. A six.

Alright. It's definitely hurt, this giant spider. Dang, Gordina, that was hot. Literally. Yeah. He's scorching. He's a scorcher. Sorry, we should focus. I'm sorry. Yeah, sorry. It's a split screen of that and then Chalice with her arms crossed and her eyes just narrowed. Seb kind of. Yeah, sorry. It's a split screen of that and then Chalice with her arms crossed and her eyes just

narrowed. Seb kind of just moves into frame and goes, but what about the butt? What about the finger in the butt? And Chalice just slaps his arm and gets him out of her frame. And Beef's eating chips. Beef's eating a lot of chips. So what do you guys do?

We chase after it. Now you're following it down these different tunnels and ultimately you come to a big opening where you see a bunch of different webbed up bundles kind of all over the walls. Children! I think we found the

kids. The spider's also nowhere to be seen. Well, I guess we gotta cut these kids down. They're the most important things. We gotta save them. So we go up to the different bundles and try and chop. Well, I guess we got to cut these kids down. They're the most important thing, so we got to save them. Yeah. So we go up to the different bundles and try and chop them down. I guess we try and open one up to see if we, like, have the ability to open one. Yeah, yeah.

Why don't you roll a strength check? Okay. Chip flexes his huge young muscles and rolls an 18. So you rip open what looks to be like the face part, but it's actually Stinky's butt. Stinky. Finn. Hey, don't boy me.

That's Stinky's catchphrase. I was going to say, is that his catchphrase? Yeah. I grab Finn and I yank Stinky fully out of the shell. Stinky's just like getting the debris off of him, checking on Finn, and then giving Finn a hug. And as that happens, the giant spider repels from the ceiling once again

and goes to attack Chip with a bite this time. Chip, you're 12 o'clock. Oh, sorry. And I cover my crotch. Not your crotch. 12 o'clock. Oh, sorry. And I cover my crotch. Not your crotch. 12 o'clock. Oh, my God. That's jealous saying that.

Yeah. Oh, my God. That's a 23. Yeah, that hits me. So you're going to take seven piercing damage. Okay. And then make a constitution saving throw. Nat 20.

Nice. So you're only going to take four damage for poison from the bite. Ow! Whoa! This monster's got a bit of a bite. And I'm going to try and chop off a couple more of these legs. Yeah. The dinner bell is rung and it's time to eat.

18. That hits. And... 12 damage. Okay. So Chip, after getting bit, he's pissed off, so he takes his battle axe and he kind of swings it up through three of the remaining legs

and back down through the other four and lets it bleed out, I guess. It lets it bleed out as we save all the kids. We heroically save kids as we let this being just die sadly in front of us. I guess we should also save CCR. I assume that CCR is somewhere in here. CCR is in one of these. That's him.

And Stinky points up to the one that's like the hardest to get. And what is it about CCR that you could smell? Desperation. Gorgina Georgina takes her huge supple fingers and opens up the bundle and lets out CCR. I see a bad moon arising. Is that your catchphrase? Is that your voice?

I'm kind of trying some stuff out. Just trying something out. Yeah, we'll see. We'll see where this goes. And then the kids, as you pull the webbing off of their faces and stuff, are coughing. Where am I? Well. You're dead.

No, stinky. No, stinky. Stinky. Stinky. Stinky. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

What? Kids don't like jokes all of a sudden? We're sorry for Stinky. He is absolutely nuts. You're saved is where you are. You're actually really safe. You're saved. With us, the gang, we call ourselves...

Chip, what do we call ourselves? What's the name of the group? We call ourselves the freedom-savoring guy of justice. You've just been saved by the freedom guys-savorer. Freedom-saving guys of justice. You've just been saved by the freedom guys savers. Freedom saving guys of justice. Are you like workshopping that? Constantly. Yeah, kid, do you have a good idea for a name?

I just want to see my parents. Please get me out of here. Absolutely. I pick up all the children. And as you do, you look back at the body of the giant spider and it starts to rumble and it explodes with hundreds of smaller spiders. No. Hundreds and hundreds, and now they're coming after you guys.

And these things look like they mean business. Are they wearing a bunch of suits and holding briefcases? I think so. Yep. Exactly that. These are business spiders. So scary. They have those, like, puffy vests.

They have boxed salads that they got out of a vending machine. Financial business spiders. And a ton of Adderall and Vyvanse. And they're just coming after you guys. These are the worst. You're about to talk at me at a bar. I'd love to like sprint out of here and then have probably CCR cause some damage.

Like if he could like make the cave cave in on all these spiders. Okay, cool. CCR, call upon your rock god or whatever. The god of rock. Jack Black. Call upon Jack Black and make this cavern cave in. That's not listed as one of my racial

traits. Just pray about it, man. Okay. So as you guys are sprinting out, Chip shouted those orders to look for something to create a cave in to CCR. CCR, why don't you roll for perception or investigation

and see if you see a weak point because you're getting closer and closer to the open mouth of the cavern and you can see daylight on the other side, but you can also hear all the business spiders closing in as well. Oh god, this one's asking me if I work

in commodities. CCR, do something. I'm trying. This isn't really my thing, and it's kind of weird that you just assume, because I'm a dwarf, that I know how to make this happen, okay? I rolled a 19. So you see a piece of stone that looks like, to put it simply, a very integral Jenga piece that if it got taken out,

it's probably going to cause a cave-in at the mouth of the cave. Beautifully said. I'm going to throw my little rock hammer at it to try to cave it in as we run out. All right, what do you say? Do you know any other CCR lyrics? Yeah, I think I do know a couple because I have several tabs open with the lyrics.

It ain't me! It ain't me. It ain't me. I throw Senator's sign. Sign. And I throw the hammer. Oh, my God. Okay. All right.

Roll for this throw. 20. Whoa. So this has to be timed in a way where you hit it as you're moving towards it. It starts to crumble and fall, and all of the stones need to land right behind you as you're all passing through. So it's a very difficult thing to time. But when CCR throws it, it does hit.

It connects. It knocks that stone out of the way. Things start to cave in. All of you are moving through. Chip in the lead holding all five children bundles. Dives through in slow motion. The rest of the gang follows in super cool slow-mo. And Stinky is just behind.

And Finn is just behind him and it looks like unfortunately for all you haters out there Finn makes it through just fine. Chalice and Seb and Beef are all

fanning themselves because Chip sounded so hot. And Beef unbuttoned his pants a little because he's eaten so many chips. Thanks for the update. You're welcome. And as you all fall to the ground and the dust clears, you see that you're looking at the feet of an entire town of people who were waiting for you, and they burst into cheers as they see the five children in Chip's arm,

coughing the dust out, clearly alive. I look over at CCR and I said, well, that was fortunate, son. Can you take that back? I was actually about to say that one. No. It's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. No.

I have a feeling I'm going to be telling this story to people in like 10 to 20 years, and I'd like if I could say the line, if that's okay. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. There's several songs that I can bring up. That older, nobly dressed man that was with you in the cave before comes to the forefront.

Thank you. As the children get kind of rolled in their little spiderweb bundles to their parents and picked up. They're weeping with joy. Thank you, Chip and your team. I'm sorry. What do you guys call yourselves again? We call ourselves the freedom savers of people. Freedom savers.

We'll get rid of the guys. And it's just freedom savers of justice. Hey, we're the band. We're the band. We're the band. We're the band. All right, well, don't hurt yourselves. That was incredible. To show our favor,

I want to bless upon you a magic ring that has the power to harness lightning. When wearing this, you'll be able to touch something and cast a small bolt of lightning into whatever foe you're touching. Pretty cool for a hero, I'd say. Yeah, cool. Thank you.

We're kind of short on cash, so... No, I'll take a ring. It's pretty. I want it known to everyone that I'll be submitting Chip's name for consideration for a knighthood. And everyone gasps and, and like applauds and cheers. And with that, Chip, you will be well on your way to becoming the first ever half-orc knighted by the crown.

Oh my gosh. Are you serious? Yes, yes. Gee, Chip. I'm one proud Mary for you. Oh yes, Chip. I think just a few more heroic deeds or perhaps something really big and extra heroic should do it. And now's the time to do it.

Strike while the iron's hot and your name is on the people's lips and you will be all but guaranteed your knighthood. lips and you will be all but guaranteed your knighthood and uh you know actually i think i may know just the heroic deed to put you over the edge yeah i'm not in it for the titles you know i'm i do it for saving freedom or whatever but yeah but what is it but what but tell me what it is well you see there's a um dragon and an enormous winged creature. A dragon swoops down from the sky and you hear some of the other townspeople screaming, It's dioxide! Run for your lives! And people are being dragged away in order to be saved and they're screaming, You killed my entire family you're a monster

dioxide i will have my vengeance and there's just chaos and all the village are screaming running from this dragon that settles down right on the cliffside beside all of you oh my god so as the dragon kind of blotted out the sun you could could just kind of see its silhouette. And as it lands down, you see this is a dragon you know very well. A dragon named Brandon, who's a part of the now newly named band. Brandon! Oh my God, guys. So sorry I'm late.

Ah, geez. Dude, what the heck? Where were you? Yeah, where were you, Brandon? We got pummeled by little business spiders. Where were you? You guys where were you, Brandon? We got pummeled by little business spiders. Where were you? You guys, I'm so sorry, but I'm in love. I'm in love.

Oh, my God. How many times are we going to hear about this? Yikes. Okay. Guys, I mean, you know Bridget doesn't live too far from here. Bridget, my beautiful, my beautiful girl dragon. She doesn't live too far from here, and I had to sneak in a quick visit while I could. Well, far enough that I've never met her.

Your best friend has not met your girlfriend? I know, man, and we got to remedy that, okay? And we can do that maybe today. And guys, I know I got to ask you for something. Coming in late and asking for a favor? Can you believe this? I know, guys. Classic Brandon, though.

Classic Brandon. Just being a little aware, man. Guys, you don't get it. I'm gonna propose. What? What? To who? Good joke.

About what? What are you gonna propose to us? I'm not proposing. I guess I am proposing to you guys that you help me with my proposal to Bridget. Oh. You don't wanna get married. You don't want to get married. You want to have fun and eat snacks.

Stinky gets it, even though Stinky has legally married his tail fin. Hey, hey, I told you that in confidence. Hey. Well, you don't sound very confident about it. Hey, I'm back, guys. Come on, we're all best friends. Yeah, we're all best friends,

which is why, why would you want to leave us? on. We're all best friends. Yeah, we're all best friends, which is why. Why would you want to leave us? Chip, you're my best friend of all. And I'm not trying to leave you, but I'm in love, man. And I just listen. As you know, being part of the dragon culture, you got to find the perfect stone to propose. And that is how you find your mate for life. If they say yes, you're in.

And I've never wanted something more in my life. I want this as bad as you want to be knighted and a hero of legend. So please, man. You say you're not going to leave us, but I've been through this before. My childhood best friend slash kid that I bullied, he got married and he left me, okay?

And now I think he's a stupid piece of shit and I hate his guts and I think he's dumb and I hate him so much. Okay, you don't have to say that now and just make unblinking eye contact with me as you say it. No, sorry, sorry. Yeah, who are you talking about?

Who are you talking about, Chip? Wait, what are these bag of chips? These are paint chips. These are paint chips. And they taste delicious. We gotta pump your stomach. We gotta pump your stomach real fast. Oh, God. Gorgina Georgina puts her

big supple fingers around Chip and she says, Chip, I mean, if Brendan leaves, then that gives us more one-on-one time together. Please, Gorgina, like you're the only one I got around here. Okay, I'm promiscuous canonically right now. I mean, I like our time together. Please, Georgina, like you're the only one I got around here. Okay, I'm promiscuous canonically right now.

I mean, I like our time together, but I got time with people all over the place. And I can't stand the idea of somebody settling down with somebody. Same. And she wipes her finger between her cheeks and then shoves it on his face. Seb's in the bathroom. Am I missing anything?

Did she mention anything about the butt? Actually, I need all your guys' help getting this diamond. It's not going to be easy, and I would love your help. And Chip, listen, I know you've got other things on the horizon right now,

but if you help me with this, I promise I will make you a hero of legend right after. We will go get your knighthood. Dude, have I ever let you down before? No. Well, besides like this mission where you didn't show up. But besides that, never ever before.

Exactly. And I walk up to him and we do our cool handshake, which is him just stomping on me a bunch. But in a way that it doesn't hurt me. And then he puts out his hand for the final touch of a secret handshake. And you guys just nimbly touch fingers and then do one E.T. at the end.

All right, man. Let's go get you this diamond. Oh, thank you guys so much. Thank you so much. Okay, so we're going to need to go to Mount Jared's. Okay? I know it's pretty far, but I am flying. So get on.

I'm driving. Sounds good to me. Oh, my God. I've always wanted to go to Mount Jared. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We're going to Jared, Mount Jared. Stinky leans over to Finn and goes,

I'm going to buy you something real nice, Finn. I'm going to get you the biggest nice, Finn. I'm going to get you the biggest diamond in the whole place. Come on, Stinky. We're about to leave. Oh, yeah. I'm coming. I'm coming. Sitcom D&D is sponsored by BetterHelp. And with that said, I've got a question for you. What's the right amount, the perfect amount of socializing for you? And how do you recharge? right amount, the perfect amount of socializing for you. And how do you recharge? Maybe you thrive around people or maybe you need a little alone time. Therapy can give you self-awareness to build a social life that doesn't drain your battery. I think before I started going to therapy,

I thought it was some sort of situation where I would present a problem and it would get solved immediately by a stranger. And I doubted the efficacy of that. But that's not really what therapy is, at least in my experience. It's more about slowly building a relationship with a professional that you trust so that you can be honest and vulnerable and talk these things through and get a new perspective. And with that said, if you are thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. So you just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist

and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. So find your social sweet spot with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash sitcom D&D today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash sitcom D&D. So now as the band is flying through the air. They stopped for fast food like five times. Five times. And now you're swooping and circling and getting closer and closer to Mount Jareds, which you can now clearly tell is an active volcano.

Oh, no. Since I'm a dwarf, I can tell that this is active. Thanks, CCR. Pretty normal voice there for that one. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm using my dwarven knowledge to determine that this is an active volcano. Yeah, a little harder than it looks

to do a bunch of different voices, huh? So Brandon lands on a ledge a la Mount Doom, where it's like a path to a tunnel that would lead to kind of the center of this volcano. And perches right there, and you guys all dismount. And it becomes very clear that Brandon's not going to be able to fit into the hole to get inside Mount Jared. Brandon, did you know this? You knew you were going to need tiny little people to go through this thing for you? Yeah, I said I, you know, need you guys' help.

So, I mean, that is what I was talking about, dude. I'm sorry. Okay, you haven't learned the shapeshifts yet? No. I'm pretty young, you know? Yeah. I got miles to go. Yeah, a little too young to get married, actually, some would say.

Some would say. Let's not have this talk now. Here's what I want. I want just the biggest diamond that you can find preferably diamond color you know it's like just super sparkly don't worry brendan i've got your back i love diamonds thank you georgina yeah why am i even talking to chip you point it out for him, okay? And then, Chip, you retrieve it. A lot of them, the best ones, are the closest to where the lava actually is. They've had the most heat and pressure down there. But yeah, all right, good luck.

So the most dangerous ones? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you, thank you, thank you. The one where we were most likely to lose our lives. Just kidding. And he's kind of just pushing you on your butt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you, guys.

Thank you, guys. As you guys head into Mount Jarets. I don't yeah, yeah. Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys. As you guys head into Mount Jarrett. I don't know, guys. I mean, am I wrong to be a little skeptical about this Bridget character that we've never met? No. I mean, who knows? Maybe she's fake. Maybe she's a fake girlfriend.

Why would you say that? Well, because I said at the time, I'm recapping this dialogue word for word. So you agree people have fake girlfriends? Of course people have fake girlfriends. Can you believe these kind of people that do this stuff? Chalice is having this conversation with Chip but petting Beef's back because Beef is fully growing up the paint chip.

There you go, sweetheart. Just let it all out. Oh, it got too full. I got too full. No, that's not what this is. It's not too full. It is poison. Hold my hair back.

Oh, I am. You're still listening though, right? Because this is important. It's not too full. It is poison. Hold my hair back. Oh, I am. You're still listening though, right? Because this is important. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. Yeah, your girlfriend is fake and this is proof. Anyway. So we go back and you are in essentially like inside an active volcano.

Chip, why don't you roll for perception? And Georgina, actually. I roll an eight. I roll the six. Okay. You can't really tell the quality of any of them, and you think you're definitely going to need a closer look. You can see some things sparkling way below you,

and so you're going to need to get down there close to the lava, which looks like a 40-foot drop down from the ledge that you're on. Stinky. How sticky are your paws? Or did that wear off? Always sticky. Always sticky, Stinky. Tell me what to do. We're going to need you to shimmy down this cliff here and go towards the shiny, the biggest shiny thing. Okay, I'm gone. Oh, okay. Okay, Stinky, why don't you roll for athletics? Stinky ties a rope around his stomach and then another rope around Finn and then tosses it to Chip.

Cute. Okay, so this is bad. I rolled a two and Stinky has minus two on athletics. Oh, Stinky. Oh, no. So you just basically just dive headfirst, essentially into lava. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, we all expected Stinky to climb down,

and you're doing the Tom Cruise jump from Mission Impossible where he just, like, splays out both hands as far apart from each other as he can, swan dive into what is about to be lava. I yank it to stop him from splatting in the lava. And what Stinky does is the Mission Impossible thing where he comes up about six inches short from the ground and is doing the, and a bead of sweat rolls down his nose and goes, drops right into the lava. It's hot down here.

Don't blame me. We're not. And St stinky panic stinks Oh and that's probably filling the entire volcano Full of your stink Oh it's so hot You know I'm sensitive about this We shouldn't have gotten all that fast food

On the way over here My stink is not farts That's not what it is it's a different kind of stink That's stinky's catchphrase though My stink's not farts Okay. It's a different kind of stink. That's Stinky's catchphrase, though. My stinks not farts. Stinks not farts. Okay, so Stinky's stinks aren't farts. They're actually a different chemical thing.

Thank you. And unfortunately, it would be better if they were farts because it's chemically mixing with the gas that's coming off the lava, and it's causing a trigger and becoming a catalyst for an eruption. You feel the entirety of Mount Jared's start to rumble. I want to say that Georgina's catchphrase is, this wasn't on the plan. And so she says that when the lava starts bubbling.

This wasn't part of the plan. No, I think it's this wasn't on the plan. Oh, this one wasn't on the plan. Thank you. Can I swing Stinky closer to the diamond? Yes. Why don't you roll for athletics? Oh, nice.

A 24. Perfect. Okay. Stinky takes out his crowbar. He hands Finn his little short sword, and so they can start trying to get the diamond off the wall. Hacking and prying? Hacking and prying. Why don't you do a... This is probably going to be that diamond off the wall. Hacking and prying? Hacking and prying.

Why don't you do a, this is probably going to be pretty bad for Stinky, a strength check. Come on, Stinky, you can do it. Come on, Stinky. Stinky little stinker. Come on, Stinky little stinker. Stinky, stink, stink.

Okay, I rolled a three and he's minus two. Stinky! Stinky! Okay, it's not budging. Try something else. Okay, I'm going to try hitting it with a crossbow! Okay, it's not budging. Try something else. Okay, I'm going to try hitting it with a crossbow. Okay, cool. So you roll a d20 and add the attack modifier.

Nat 20. Holy s***. That's awesome. So Stinky, direct hit to the exact right part, the crux of where it met the cavern wall, and it pops right off and it's flying through the air as lava starts to bubble and burst around you as well. Stinky, why don't you roll for athletics,

an athletic check, to catch this thing before it goes tumbling into the lava. 15. Just barely, you actually miss it with your hands, and Finn grabs it right out of the air. Finn for the win. Finn for the win. Finn for the win. It happens in slow motion.

Yes, it does. As soon as I see that, Chips starts to pull them up as fast as possible. Okay, cool. This place is coming down around you. Not really coming down, but coming up. The lava is getting closer and closer to the surface. Not quite as fast as you're pulling, but just beneath stinking. Hey, don't blame me.

It's your fault. This is your fault. I think we can all agree scientifically you caused this to happen. Oh. Yeah, your stinky stank, which is not your fart, but stinky stank. But I saved the day. I mean, I see earthquakes and lightning. I see bad times today.

Okay. What's going on there? It looks like this place is about to blow. I pick up my crew, put my ass in drive, and sprint out of the volcano. And you jump out in slow motion as lava bursts behind you. And you jump just onto Brandon as his wings start to flap, and he dismounts from the side of Mount Jared's. Huge explosion of lava comes out the top of Mount Jared's as Brandon flies right at the camera, our view here,

into the distance, into the sky. We're all high-fiving. We went to Jared. We went to Jared. We went to Jared. We hit all the same fast food places on the way back. Yes, but only in order to use their bathroom. And they say for paying customers only,

and we said, we did! On the way out here! So, Brandon lands in this beautiful valley, again, right on the outskirts of Scrantonia. And you guys all dismount and it looks like brandon's getting nervous he's been trying to practice what he's gonna say and he just looks at you guys and goes i mean i hate to keep involving you guys but what could we do that would just be like i don't like a really beautiful um surprise and a way to propose

could you guys hold up signs or something? Well, tell her you're dead and then say, just kidding. He's alive and he loves you. And we're brainstorming. And we are brainstorming. How about a kidnapping? Okay, and we are brainstorming stuff. Yeah, we're getting the brown water out first.

Yeah. I guess we could do a flash mob. Feels fitting. Oh, I love that. Oh, I love that. That is so good.

Those are hot right now. They're so hot right now. So you guys are going to act like you're just random people who don't even know each other at all. Absolutely.

Which actually works really well because we haven't met Bridget. So I guess that all works out super well. Yeah. And then on my cue, you guys all

start dancing in sync. Right? To in sync, yeah. To in sync. Yeah, exactly. And then I propose.

Awesome. Okay. No, that sounds great. Okay. Well, her place is just around this ridge and the valley. Okay.

And then you'll help me get my hero status, right? Of course. Yeah. That's part of the deal. I know. Okay. And then even more importantly, you're not leaving the crew.

The band does not break up. Dude. Right? I'm getting you your hero status. The band does not break up. Have I ever let you down before? Only earlier today. Yeah, just earlier today.

But other than that, never, ever once. Hell yeah. Okay, because we're a family here, okay? And family is the most important thing because we're fast and we're furious and family is all that matters between us. Family is all that matters. Yeah, family matters. I'm going to veto that one. Okay,

sorry about that. And so they move right around the ridge and they come across to another clearing, and you see a beautiful, large dragon that you assume to be Bridget. We hop off, and let's make it like a mall setting. So one of us is like a hot dog vendor, the other one's a janitor.

I'm selling my hot supple fingers. You're just putting them in buns? The whole time I was imagining like the long fingers from everything, everywhere I went. And honey, that's what I'm going for.

This just confirms it for me. You're in Bridget's like domain, which is like beautiful valley. There's a huge, enormous waterfall behind her. And she looks over and she sees Brandon. She goes, Brandon? What are you doing?

What are you doing here? And he goes, oh, I was just in the neighborhood. And not much. Nothing's really planned. Just wanted to stop by and say. Hot dogs, hot, supple hot dogs. And Georgina winks at Brendan. Yeah.

Nothing's about to happen, but if there was something about to happen, I guess it would happen right now. Everybody. Yeah. Oh, no, this is Backstreet Boys. Yeah, this is Backstreet Boys Yeah this is Backstreet Boys Sorry we're sort of looking at each other We go with it

Brandon gets down on one knee And presents the large diamond From Jared's And Bridget goes What the hell are you doing I'm proposing to you. I had a whole speech prepared. Say it.

I know we've only been going out like a couple months, but when you know, you know, you know. He said you know too many times. No, no. It was perfect. Chip's on board right now. know, too many times. No, no, it was perfect. Chips on board right now. No, this is beautiful. Bridget goes, oh, man, I don't know how to handle this.

Not a good start. Not a good start. We have not been dating. What made you think that this was a good idea? I don't want to be the bad guy guy but this is what you're doing is actually unfair i didn't put this out oh my god oh no this is getting bad uh finn and georgina and stinky are like pretending that they're in a important conversation all of a sudden yeah they're trying to pretend they're not listening ccr runs out of a bathroom with toilet paper on his shoe,

and he's like, I'm so sorry, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. Everybody. Is it time? No, no, no, buddy, buddy, buddy. No, CCR, over here, over here. Chip starts buying a hot dog. Was it because we did Backstreet Boys? It should have been in sync.

It should have been in sync. No, it's not that at all. We just, you just must have misread the situation. You should honestly go. I wasn't expecting you to come by. And then from behind the waterfall, you hear someone, a very, very large someone, must have been taking a shower. Is everything okay out there, love?

Oh, no. And emerging from the waterfall is an adult dragon. So this is 85 feet long, about the size of an Olympic swimming pool. Same color as Brandon walks out from showering. Well, this wasn't on the plan. Oh, who's this little one then? Dioxide, just give me one second, okay? I just need to talk to Brandon.

I'm sorry, Dioxide. Are you cheating on me? I'm not cheating, because we never even had the discussion of being just us. Like, I'm not even... Oh, no, they never had the talk. They weren't official.

Oh, they weren't exclusive. Brandon, come on, man. Come on, man. Come on, Brandon. Do you want me to take care of this little pipsqueak for you, love? What? No, no. I could take him out pretty easy. No, I'm not apprised

to be one, okay? I don't need you two posturing for my approval. You know what? F*** both of you. I'm out of here. And she takes off. Okay, I kind of like Bridget. Yeah, big fan of Bridget.

You got to mess it up. I love Bridget. Yep, you should have married her. Dioxide looks at Brandon, who's now staring daggers at him. He goes, Oh, did someone go to Jared's? How sweet.

Hey, I don't like you, okay? And Stinky comes out and crosses his arms in front of this guy. Uh-oh. You don't need to kick my friend when he's down. He looks like such a loser right now. Look at him. Leave him alone or else. Oh, God, Stinky.

Or else. Or else what? Or else. Stinky, don't, Stinky. What am. Or else what? Or else. Stinky, don't. Stinky. What am I going to do? I'm f***ing crazy. I know.

Stinky's crazy. I'm going to attack him. No, stinky. There's no chance. Absolutely no chance. I'm going to use my long sword and my rapier at the same time. A close attack? I'm going to close attack him.

I'm going to go after his tail, assuming that he has a connection with his tail. Like, I have a connection with my tail. Okay, why don't you roll your attack roll then? Okay, so I rolled a 19. Whoa! So that makes it a 23, and that hits. Wow.

So why don't you roll for damage then? An eight. Wow. Eight damage. That actually does eight damage to this adult red dragon. Because some of it's emotional damage. Because Stinky knows where it hurts. And he goes, well, that wasn't very smart, was it?

Uh-oh. And Dioxide exhales fire and a lot of it. It not only hits Stinky, but it hits Georgina. My fingers. They're cooked. They're cooked. As well as CCR. This is my normal voice.

Oh, no. And does 63 damage. Oh, no. And does 63 damage. Oh, God. So we're dead? So you're eviscerated. No! Stinky! Don't blame me!

Finn survives and is holding a dying Stinky. And Georgina's huge, ten supple fingers are cooked inside their buns. To perfection. And as her last dying breath, she says, this wasn't on the plan.

Oh, no. Lord, the house looking like a rummage sale. Yeah. That's a lyric. That's your last? I mean, I'm being burned alive. I'm not going to make a whole lot of sense. There's a lot. That's your last. I mean, I'm being burned alive. I'm not going to make a whole lot of sense. All right.

There's a lot of pain. Good point. Now, this kind of all happens instantaneously. They go up in flame and Chip, your three out of your four best friends just got dead. No. No. Brandon, look what you did. We got to stop this guy.

We got to kill him. We got to get our vengeance. Toxhead looks at you and goes, oh, I missed one. Are you going to do something about this? Oh, um. Eight does frightful presence. Oh, no. So roll a DC 19 wisdom saving throw.

Absolutely not. Eight. Okay. You're frightened for the next minute. You can't even move. The only movement is my eyes welling up and tears streaming down my cheeks. And Brandon screams, no! And Brandon's, again, about a quarter of the size, also a red dragon, and attacks Dioxide.

And they start duking it out, smashing into the walls of this valley, going under the waterfall. And actually, for a second, Brandon has Dioxide's head under the water and is, like, trying to hold it as hard as he can. And Brandon looks over at Chip and goes, Chip, his weakness, this scale,

that's where his heart is right there. You could get in there and you could kill him now. Chip, you got to do it now. And Chip, you are unable to move. Oh no. And Brandon can't hold on much longer. Dioxide headbutts him. Dioxide gets on top of him and slashes his throat with his talons. And it basically wipes Brandon out completely. The fight

goes out of his body and he's just lying there, limp. Dioxide looks at Chip, who's just frozen there, and says, Well done, hero. And he flies off. And as soon as he leaves, Chip, you feel like you can move again. Oh, I sprint over to Brandon, who's laying on the ground. Brandon! Hey, dude.

I try and take his little arms and stomp me a little bit. I try and make him stomp me. I don't think I'm going to make it, man. No, we can heal you. I'm scared. I know. I know. I know.

It's okay. I'm here. It's all my fault, isn't it, that everyone died? No. No. You did it for love. And, you know, I guess I think that that's okay. You know, you showed me what love means today, and I think that that's important. Yeah.

And then you hear, kind of in the distance, and quickly approaching, a lot of the same townspeople from Scrantonia, and you hear them shouting in the distance going, Oh, I think he actually did it. I think he killed dioxide. Chip A. Hoy killed dioxide. No, I didn't.

I didn't. I didn't. This is my best friend. Hey, don't. Don't. What? Don't correct him. What are you?

I don't want people to think that I killed you. I love you. I love you. I love you too, man. I told you, if you help me, I'd make you a hero. No, I don't want to be a hero like that. Look at me. Have I ever let you down before? Just once earlier today, but otherwise, otherwise no.

Brandon holds out his hand to finish their secret handshake. And then you go to do the ET. And his hand just falls limp halfway through. Can I try and save his life at all? Yeah, why don't you roll Arcana? 16. So you can tell that Brandon's heart, he's in cardiac arrest and the only chance to save him would be to jumpstart his heart in some way. I pull out the ring that that noble guy gave me

earlier. And at first, I guess I put it like on top of his heart, you know, like a defibrillator. You try that. The ring does what it's supposed to do. You feel a shock leave your hand, and it doesn't do anything. And you're seeing that maybe it's because of the scaled armor that is naturally appearing on Brandon that it's not getting through to his heart. Okay. Well, I open up my best friend's big mouth,

and I climb inside of my friend, and I reach for his heart, and I shock him once again. And it doesn't work, but it does mess with the integrity of his chest cavern, and it starts to collapse in on you. Okay, I guess I take out my sword, or I take out my battle axe.

Oh, my God. And I do the thing where I got swallowed by a dragon and I burst my way out of my best friend. And why don't you do a strength check to see if you can even get through the inside of him? This is like a moment where I wouldn't want to be strong, but I just am. This is so sad that you're so

strong though. 19. Yeah, we knew it. You burst out, fall to the ground into the valley with this beautiful green grass, and you're at the feet of those townspeople of Scrantonia again, and they burst into cheering and applause. Oh, my Chippe Hoy! Chippe Hoy slayed Dioxide! Incredible! We're CCR. I liked his voices. I arise from the insides of my best friend, and at first, my, like, head is hung,

and I'm silent, and the crowd silences as well. And then I reach down and grab a red scarf that Brandon was wearing, the red scarf that he always wore. And I raise it up into the air as a sign of my victory. And everyone screams and cheers in victory along with you. And everyone screams and cheers in victory along with you. We cut back to Bottoms Up. Chalice takes a big deep breath, and it looks like she's about to be mad at Chip, but then she just walks over and gives him a really comforting hug.

Seb walks over to the two of them and puts his arms around them and also gives him a big hug and goes, Oh, sweetheart. Oh, sweet, sweet, sweetheart. Beef's wearing his sick robe and he walks over it. He puts his little arms around everyone as he can and he says, that was a fun song. That was such a good song you sang. And then Jennifer gets out of her little bed and scurries over and then puts her arms, she covers as much ground as she can around

all you and goes, what are we hugging about? Oh, I lied about killing a dragon. I never killed a dragon. He was actually my best friend and all my friends died. Whoa. That's pretty heavy, dude. Chalice pulls back and goes, you got to tell him. And then she holds his hand and leads him to the door.

Come out, come out, whatever you are, Chip. The game is up. I open the front door and I step out with my hands up. And I say, hey, okay, you know the thing where I got swallowed by a dragon, I burst my way out killing it? Yes. Here's what really happened. And then I go on to tell them

the exact same story that I just spent the whole time. Telling the people inside. We take care of the fire. Bottoms up is fine. We piss on the fire to get it all out. Yeah, piss all over it.

Fix it as usual. All the women help piss on the fire. And everybody's tears. It's a mix of tears and piss that put out the fire. And then Seb thinks he's alone, kisses the dummy that looks like him, and Beef is behind him and sees it.

Eyes gets really big. Mouth is open about to say something, but then just kind of backs to the doorway. but then just kind of backs to the doorway. Hmm. I think I'm going to go with Delta. Okay. What was the other option?

Stinky. Which one do you guys like better? Okay, wait. I think you should do stinky. Yeah, I think you should do stinky. All right, so this is stinky. I think you should do stinky. Yeah, I think you should do stinky. All right, so this is stinky. Sitcom D&D is comprised of Elizabeth Andrews, Ben Briggs, Aaron Keefe, Waleed Mansour, and me, Sean Coyle.

Arnie Parrott wrote the theme song, Story Concept by Waleed Mansour, and Grace Harper did the editing on this one. If you want to keep up with the gang and get sneak peeks at upcoming episodes and future guests, you can follow the show on Instagram and Twitter at sitcomdnd. That is sitcom and then the letters D&D. Also, we did it. We hit 500 patrons and therefore released a much anticipated one shot GM'd by Aaron Keefe inspired by the TV series Lost. So you'll never have to hear me mention it again. The support from our patrons is what makes this show possible. It's how we pay for editors, equipment, and all the expenses that go into creating the show that we love. So hop on now for $5 and get access to over 40 hours of content instantly, including the newly released Lost One

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fun. Okay. I think that's it for now. Until next Tuesday and thanks, as always, for listening. I didn't make it. Hello? listening. I didn't make it. Hello? No, you didn't make it. That was a HeadGum Podcast.