SitcomD&D - S2 E6: Jennifer's New Boyfriend (w/ Andrew Robinson)

Episode Date: September 20, 2022

Jennifer is smitten with her new, bad-boy boyfriend, Gage (Andrew Robinson), but the rest of the gang isn't as convinced that they're a good match.Starring: Erin Keif, Waleed Mansour, Elizabeth Andrews, Sean Coyle, and Ben Briggs.Guest: Andrew RobinsonTheme Song by Arne ParrottArtwork by Waleed MansourEdited by Sean MeagherStory Concept by Erin KeifFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, & TikTok: @SitcomDnDAdvertise on SitcomD&D via Gumball.fmSupport our Patreon at Patreon.com/SitcomdndLike the show? Rate SitcomD&D 5 stars on Apple Podcasts and leave a review. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

this is a head gum podcast andrew was my first chicago friend and the reason why i moved to chicago yeah what did i say it was like so genuine you were so telling the truth and you went isn't this the happiest you've ever felt maybe like don't you just feel like you and i are supposed to be here because you and i didn't have plans to move to chicago at all and I was like you're completely right yeah yeah I was supposed to move in with Cody Lindley in Austin Texas together I had a theater company that was on its second year of full productions and had no plans to move to Chicago and then like three weeks into the intensive I was like I, I think I need to be here.

It was like a really weird feeling. Do you regret it? Thank you, Elizabeth. That would be so funny. Could you imagine? This past eight years has been awful. Welcome back to Sitcom D&D, a real play Dungeons & Dragons podcast recorded in front of a fake studio audience. Today, you guessed it, we're going to pick up inside Bottoms Up, where the bar is actually pretty packed, you guys. It's pretty packed.

Beef's newfound fame means that y'all are slammed on the weekends. And the crowd? It's pretty rowdy, thirsty, and hungry. Now, unfortunately, y'all have heard from a ton of patrons that they've been waiting on food for ages. And now that you think about it, you haven't seen a plate come out of the kitchen in a while. So we'll pick up there.

Quiet on set. Sound speeding. And we're rolling. Dice! When you need a break from this crazy world to see your friends and fill a cup. Find Sebastian, Chalice, Chip, and Peaf at the Noble Bottoms of. As step-by-step our growing pains are improving home and away. We're feeling absolutely fabulous on another happy day.

We're in different worlds with different strokes, but the good times will not end. So cheers to all our family and our friends. Starring Aaron Keith as Chalice Glass, Elizabeth Andrews as Beef, Waleed Mansour as Chip Ahoy,

Ben Briggs as Sebastian von Hugh Grant, and Sean Coyle as everything else. Sitcom D&D is filmed in front of a fake studio audience. Seb? Yeah, hey, what? Hey, hey, what? My table is yelling at me because they've been here three hours

and they haven't got their food yet. And I don't like it when the tables yell at me, where's the food? I don't like it when they yell at you too. Point them out. Seb. What? I'm already mad. You better be giving me some good news, man.

People keep leaving without paying because they haven't gotten their food. And when I tell them to keep waiting, they pinch me and then they go past me and leave. Who's pinching you? Point them out. Don't tell them, Chip. He's gonna beat them up. Up here comes Beef. Hey, Seb. Oh, give me some good news.

And Beef has his baby blanket with him, and it's like trailing behind him. Hey, what's Dr. Feelgood doing down here? What a gross name for a blanket. Don't judge. Don't judge. Dr. Feelgood and I got a cold, and I don't think I can go up and perform harm tonight.

Okay, I need you to put away Dr. Feelgood, because legally, if we get the health inspector back in here, that alone will fail us, all right? But point out who gave you a cold. Who gave you a cold? Point them out. Don't, Beef. Don't. I'm beating him up.

And I'm pointing at Chip. Chip? Oh, me? No. So entertainment's got a cold. We got tables that are waiting. I need to yell at someone. Where the hell is Jennifer?

Honk. Honk. Honk. Whoa, what's shaking the whole bar? What is that? Is it a goose? Why don't you roll for perception? 18.

Okay, cool. Seb, you're the first to see you look out front of Bottoms Up. And there's a guy on a motorcycle, which, as we know in this world world just means he's standing there. With his arms up. With his arms up. Yeah, he's got the gear. You're right.

You're right. You're right. And Andrew, do you want to describe what your character looks like? Yeah. So this is Gage. He is a human wizard bad boy uh he he is wearing a white deep v shirt where the v is like unrealistically deep with a dark black leather jacket and he has on these tightest skinny jeans that you've probably ever seen. So tight that they look like they were put on by magic or something.

He has a tight fade haircut that leads up to a developing mohawk. He has a toothpick in his mouth that never seems to go away. And a small face tattoo under his left eye that either says fang or bang. You can't really tell. Oh, no. He is surrounded by these magical dancing lights that make him look both sexy and mysterious. Gage is just going to walk right up to the front door,

kick it with his boots, step right in, say, Jennifer? Jennifer? Well, hold on. I need to talk to Jennifer. Who are you? Who's this slime ball? Can I get your ID?

Less tears when you ask that question. My name's Gage. Okay? Gage Jagger. And I'm here to pick up Jennifer, my chick. What business do you have with our Jennifer? Yeah, I'm sorry. Oh, it certainly must be a different Jennifer. It can't be our sweet, sweet Jennifer. Yeah, you don't own her.

Okay, who are you? I don't like your vibe, man. Is that a developing mohawk on your head? Yeah, it's not quite a mohawk. It's coming in. It's developing. Yeah, it's coming in. I don't get it.

Are you one of those jerks that are trying to shake down Jennifer for money? She's got a gambling problem. We get it. Okay. All right. I can give you 10 gold, but that's all we can really spare at this point, man. I don't need another event at a lunch service, all right?

Jennifer owes me nothing other than maybe a few sweet, sweet of those kisses. Okay? What the f***? Ew, what? Ew, what? Okay, I'm just noticing your tattoo. Does that say fang, bang, or wang? Okay? What is it? Which is it? You know what it says, okay? Now, where's Jennifer?

I'm here to pick her up for our date. What? Jennifer, get out here. And in that moment, Jennifer comes out from behind the kitchen and blows right past all of you. And she is sporting a very intense new look as well. Her hair is now in big purple spikes, stiffly gelled in all different directions. stiffly gelled in all different directions. She's wearing a tiny black vest with a ton of pins and patches sewed to it

that say things like, never surrender and f*** jazz. And she has... Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Not jazz! Hold on. Not jazz! And she has a belly button piercing that is the size of a normal belly button piercing and goes straight through her stomach and out the back. So she's effectively impaled by a piercing. Probably can't swim for a couple weeks. Jenny.

She climbs up Gage and starts making out with him in front of all of you. Hey, you can't go out looking like that. Excuse us, young lady. I missed you, baby. Oh, babe, hey, how are you? Look at that piercing, looks good. Oh, thank you, Yank. I thought, I don't know, you like it?

Oh, he's tonguing it with his mouth. Oh, let me get around that. Chalice turns and throws up in Chip's pocket, a la season one. Anybody else? Anybody else need to? I haven't eaten anything today or else I would. Okay, then I'll use my other ones.

Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get out of here. Let's paint the town. You're not leaving with that guy, are you? You can't leave. What do you mean? We're in the middle of our lunch service. 2.30 in afternoon what okay well deal with it okay like i got a life of my own all right i'm in love hey jennifer you don't speak you don't talk to seb that way where's this tune coming from

what am i doing right now i'm counting to three one two uh-oh three Three. Oh, Gage said three. Wait, why did you say three? Because we don't wait for you to count, we count. Right, Jennifer? That's right, baby. Jennifer, we're getting yelled at by the customers because you're not doing your job and you're impaled through the stomach and you love jazz.

What's going on? You're my little scatter, huh? You skit scat all over the kitchen. I don't even know you these days. We would have scat competitions in the green room, which is just the alleyway behind Bottoms Up. Covered with mold.

That's why it's the green room. Sorry for my folks, Gage. They're absolute squares. Let's hit the road. You've, uh, did you, were you parked outside? Yeah, I'm parked outside. Let's roll. Later, losers.

He just gave me the finger. Oh my gosh. I'm going to count to two. One, two, double middle fingers. Three, three, three. Oh, I got it. They're already gone. They're gone, Seth.

They're gone, Seth. Okay, can somebody just give me a high five? Because I've been holding it up since they left. Gage and Jennifer speed away on his motorcycle, which again is just him walking with Jennifer, holding onto his head like she's on the back of a motorcycle. We cut to the middle of the night. Jennifer has yet to arrive home. And you all are anxiously pacing in the bar, worried sick.

They're actually all wearing sort of like night robes and slippers and their hair looks a little disheveled and they're all pacing around back and forth. They like went and talked to all the neighbors, like letting them know that they're worried about Jennifer and that if she sees, if they see her to let them know. And they keep looking out the window and making each other tea and rubbing each other's back. I mean, should we get the police at this point? Like what?

This is getting ridiculous. I'm already working on the lost posters. Do you remember if she has two or three tails? I think she has one. Seb, you're panicking. Okay. Beef, you need to get some rest. You're fighting that cold.

Seb, you haven't eaten all day. I'm worried sick. Where is she? I'm not. Me and Dr. Feelgood don't have a feelgood feelgood about this feelgood. We're going to do a little thing called passive perception, which is just 10 plus any modifiers to your perception. For all of you with a passive perception above 10,

you hear something. You can't tell what it is, but you hear some movement outside of bottoms up, which is odd because it's the middle of the night. Is it the hook, hand, string, the lure again? That was Jennifer last time. Oh, maybe it's Jennifer again this time. Oh, maybe it's Jennifer.

Yeah, maybe it's Jennifer. Oh, this is just a big prank. Oh, I get it. The, this is just a big prank. Oh. The whole thing has been a big prank. She's not actually in love with that guy, and he's a joke or something. Yeah, he's a joke. Kind of conjured.

Yeah. Chalice is going to open up the front door just a crack, and then they're going to do the classic sitcom head stack out the front door. Oh, yes. Which, actually, we should decide an order in which they always stack. It's always the same. Beeps at the top, obviously.

We were all there, yep. Seb, Chalice, Chip. Sorry, I just needed to. Can I roll for perception? Yeah, yeah. 16 plus 4, so 20. Okay, you see almost like crystal clear that Jennifer is now trying to sneak back Gage

into her room, which is a small rat hole on the outside of Bottoms Up that this human man is trying to squeeze himself inside. Yeah, I can fit. Young lady! Oh, s***. Oh, what? I must have been sleep Oh, s***. Oh, what? I must have been sleepwalking.

Oh. Oh, really? Um, excuse me. We're trying to have an intimate evening. I would prefer it if y'all would skedad. Well, skedad, skadoosh. That is jazz for you. Jazz.

You hated jazz. Hey. Jennifer. Jennifer, stop that. Hey. Stop that language and f**k you guys you're not my real parents oh well yeah yeah that's yeah oh chalice is still shocked you go to your room alone young lady what is the big deal gage is a really really great guy and you didn't even give him a chance Gage is a joke Chip said so himself Gage takes out the toothpick in his mouth

throws it on the ground and then immediately replaces it with another toothpick oh dang that is cool okay wow what I mean look at him he's awesome you didn't even give him a chance

Gage I mean I feel like if they just got to know you, tell them who you are. Tell them how special what we have is and how amazing you are. You know what? Let's do this over chamomile. Let's do this over a pot of chamomile. Oh, some sleepy time would do us some really, really good.

Come on, everybody. No, we're going to go bone after this, so get out now. Yeah, me and Jennifer will take two scotches. Neat, please. No glass. No glass. I'm only doing it because you said please, but ooh, oh, ooh, oh. All right, here are your scotches.

Jennifer, sweetie, honey, this is not you. This is not the Jennifer we know and love. Is that a patch that says f*** chamomile? Yeah. No. Jennifer, this isn not you. This is not the Jennifer we know and love. Is that a patch that says f*** chamomile? Yeah. No. Jennifer, this isn't you. How did the two of you meet? It's actually a really nice story.

So I was just kind of strolling through the alleyways as I do. I sometimes assess what's back there, see if there's any hidden treasures for me to pick up and find and resell. It's kind of a small side business. Like what? Yeah, like what? What's the coolest treasure you've ever found back there? You'd be surprised. One time I found a human. A man.

Alive? Just walking also? Yeah, well, that's not the treasure. He was sitting on a wallet. Sitting on a wallet? You kidnapped and robbed a man is what it sounds like. You picked up a man?

He didn't seem to mind. He didn't move. I took it. So he was dead. Sold it secondhand. Yeah, me and him are now really good friends. Okay, so you were in the alleys. Yeah, so I was in the alleyway

and I see this cute, cute, sexy, hot, seductress just walk out of y'all's shithole of a bar. Can we get to the part where you meet Jennifer, please? I'm getting there, okay? He did. He's talking about Jennifer. What? Yeah, the sexy thing I'm talking about is Jennifer.

Don't act so surprised. She seemed to have her hands full, so I jumped in like any man would do. With what? With my hands. My mage hands, actually. It's a spell that I know. What were her hands full with?

It looked like trash, right, babe? Yeah, well, one man's trash is another woman's treasure. What? When was this yeah when was this yeah when was this yeah when was this this was last night this was last night yeah okay listen okay this is for real this is, and you guys need to give it a chance. Have you guys said I love you? Well. Not yet, but whoopsie. Don't do it in front of us.

Don't do it in front of us. There's something I wanted to say to you. Please don't. What is it? Don't look at me like that. I can't help it. Keep looking like that. I love you help it. Keep looking like that. I love you, Gage.

Jennifer? Seb jumps through a window. Into the bar? Into the bar. Normally people jump out of windows out of a bar. That's sort of the cowboy way, but you reversed it. I'm shocked.

I can't sort this out, all right? Jennifer runs back into the bar with all of you and goes, You guys ruined everything. Listen, this is what's going to happen. Tomorrow, Gage is coming over for dinner, okay, that I'm going to prepare because I'm the only responsible one here, and you're going to give him a chance, okay? Okay. Fine.

Okay. Fine. Okay. Now, Gage and I are going to go back to my room and hook up super loud. No. I jump through the window back outside. Okay. Fine. But after this dinner, I'm sure you'll all be way more comfortable with us hooking up super loud.

Fine. We'll keep an open mind jennifer but just so you know this is not what love is love is when you like someone a decent amount and then you have to marry them you get to marry them and you're and then you sort of feel nothing but you also feel good about it you feel great or you become pen pals with a person and you guys you know you never actually meet in person but you fall in love even though you've never seen each other or oh they started

oh they started we should go oh god everyone run oh god beef hit me as hard as you can over the head with a pan okay sweetheart they're doing it on top of Mr. Feelgood oh no oh no well you know what actually pan. Okay, sweetheart. They're doing it on top of Mr. Feelgood. Oh, no. Oh, no.

You know what? Actually, he's withstand a lot, so he's perfect for a stain. He's perfect for a problem. He's perfect for anything. Yeah, Beef has humped that blanket. Yeah, we know. We all know. We all knew that, right? Sorry. The next evening,

Bottoms Up has been closed for business. It's just going to be a private Dinner affair the table is set Jennifer's been running around like crazy Getting everything ready Gage should arrive any minute now Behind behind Chef Jesus

Okay sorry sorry What are we even having Tonight Well it's supposed to be a pot of orange, but I've been so freaking stressed out and nervous that it turned out mostly magenta. Jennifer, that's crazy. Sorry, could you give us a sec?

We're just going to do a quick huddle while you keep cooking. Okay, so you guys, we're going in tonight with a terrible attitude, not having an open mind at all, right? Absolutely. We're going to grill the shit out of this young man. All right. Break Jennifer's heart on three. Ready? One, two, three. Break Jennifer's heart. Destroy her heart. At this moment,

Gage boots down the front door. His mohawk is developed just slightly more. And to be clear, he did boot down the door so not open it is down i just fixed that oh not my problem where's my baby look at you you dressed up you dressed up for us? Yeah, so he's wearing the exact same thing, but tattooed on his neck is the tiniest little bow tie tattoo. This guy really dressed up. Yeah, of course.

Anything for you. Right this way, right this way. Okay, so you're going to sit right here. And so you can see the rest of my folks. And I'll sit right next to you right here. Everyone can be seated for dinner. Everyone's here. I want to use my I have a charm person's spell.

And it's a intelligent saving throw. OK. And who are you going to use it on? I'm going to use it on Beef. Okay, perfect. I want to turn Beef. Ooh, that's a good ally. Yeah, that's a good... I'm curious, Beef, what is your intelligence?

Negative two. Negative two. Negative two. Yeah. Yeah, that checks out. Oh, I love you, Beef. Good guess. Beef.

Good guess, Gage. Yeah. Well, I just rolled a Beef. Good guess. Beef. Good guess, Gage. Yeah. Well, I just rolled a nine, negative two to that. Beef, you immediately feel a kinship with Gage, and you like the cut of this guy's jib. Anything else that you wanted to do, Gage, as we're sitting down? Yeah, just during this charmed moment,

I'm just going to look at Beef, give a little wink, take out my toothpick, and quickly replace it. And Beef's just like, mouth open. You know when a two-year-old toddler is just staring at you across the table at a restaurant and not making a face but is mesmerized beyond belief? My mouth is agape, my eyes are wide, and I am awake. You're Gage Jagger?

That's right. Do you know my family? No, but I want to. He's got a very impressive family. Tell him, Gage, tell him. Well, I mean, if you guys didn't know, I come from noble birth, but I've separated from it since then.

So, you know. Dang, something in common. Don't love that. Beef, are you drunk? What's happening? You're moving in slow motion. Yeah, I'm sorry. You already found your sandwich today, so I don't get why you're looking like this.

All right? Your arms are, wow, they're huge. You work out. Beef, you're looking at him like you look at your sandwich you're freaking me out man back off whore okay oh my god oh my god sorry i've never i am your mother friend you cannot talk to me like that ch Chalice throws her napkin down on the table and goes to the bathroom to cry. Look what you did, huh? I'm sorry. Okay, let's just, you know, let's keep it respectful and let's just all get to know. You're the one that yelled whore.

That's your version of respect? Let's keep everything respect. Go apologize to your mother friend and let's sit down. Go apologize. Okay, okay. Jennifer hops off her chair. let's keep everything respect go apologize to your mother friend and let's sit down go apologize okay okay jennifer hops off her chair and while you're gone we'll talk we'll get a sense of gage yeah we'll get a set and beef's like holding like a touch in his gage's knee and he's like we'll get a sense of gage we'll get a sense so gage buddy and uh beef takes out half moon glasses and a big um like clipboard with questions on it yeah hit me hit me what questions do you have what questions do you have for me how cool

is it to be cool these aren't the questions yeah we wait we wrote other much meaner questions does that say why are you so hot is that one of the questions you have on your sheet beef yeah that's number 15 that's number 15 why are you so hot okay well that one of the questions you have on your sheet beef? Yeah, that's number 15. That's number 15. Why are you so hot? Okay, well, I got a question for you. I got a question for you. Roast beef or pastrami?

Tuna fish. Oh, yeah. Me. Oh, my f***ing God. That is exactly right. See, I'm telling you, Seb, he has all the answers. No, no, no, he doesn't have all the answers. Mr. Gage, it's Gage, right?

Yeah, it's Chip A. Hoy, right? The guy that killed the dragon? Oh. Uh, what? Yeah, you killed a dragon, didn't you? Uh, yeah. You know about that? Yeah, doesn't everybody?

This has never happened before. Are you kidding me? Beef, shut the hell up, you know about that? Yeah, doesn't everybody? He's never, this has never happened before. Are you kidding me? Beef, shut the hell up, you a**hole! No, you're a whore! I feel like we just learned a new word today, and we keep saying it. We don't know what, we have literally no idea what it means. Anyway, okay, you know about this thing? Yeah, of course.

You killed a dragon, okay? You didn't just kill, like, you know, an of course. You killed a dragon, okay? You didn't just kill, like, you know, an orc. You killed a dragon. Yeah. Yeah, that was me. Chip Aoy. Wow. Sorry, I forgot my question.

I guess I'll just ask, who's the baddest ass in this bar? Oh, that's me, baby. Damn it. Sitcom D&D is sponsored by BetterHelp. And with that said, I've got a question for you. What's the right amount, the perfect amount of socializing for you? And how do you recharge?

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It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. So you just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. So find your social sweet spot with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash sitcom D&D today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash sitcom D&D. Friend mom. I don't want to talk right now. Just go. She climbs up your leg and then under your shoulder and then hugs the side of your head.

Jennifer, what did I talk about you crawling under the bathroom stalls when people are in here? It's a terrible, terrible habit. Only do it if they ask. Jennifer, I don't mean to ruin your first love or be judgmental. I've dated guys with mohawks that haven't totally come in yet too like i've i've dated i've dated people but like what i'm worried about is how much this changed you you love chamomile you love jazz you love surrendering like i don't understand why this changed you so much it's not real love if it changes you this much, Jennifer.

Well, Chalice, listen, I don't want to upset you at all. It breaks my heart. But what you're saying is that maybe this is a mistake, right? But we don't know yet. And you got to give me a chance to make mistakes. You of all people should know you made a huge different life choice and left a castle a freaking castle chalice and a lot of people will probably say that's a mistake but at least you got to make it you know fine i'll stop meddling

but you have to promise me something right The second you don't recognize yourself anymore, you got to break up with him. Deal. That sounds like a deal. Shake on it? Yeah. You're a really good daughter friend. You're a really good mom friend. All right, let's go back out there.

I'll try to give him a chance. Hold on. I think there's some cheese in this toilet or something. What is this? No, no. Okay, I was fine. I was eating cheese on the toilet. I have a little...

Here, look. I keep it in here in a little box, and it's for when I eat. You've been holding out on me. Chalice and Jennifer walk back out. What are you all doing? Well, the boys and I are on stage. And I'm showing Jagger my loot.

So this is my loot. It's got three strings on it. You know how to play this? Yeah, yeah, actually. Wow. Impressive. Beef, show me your third ball. Yeah, sure.

Here it is. Oh. Oh, man. Yep. Wow, that really jumps at you. Have you ever seen a snowman? Sure have. That's what my balls look like balls are you about to stack your balls like no that's what that already looks like yeah i can see that thanks badass and then i just i kick beef in the balls

would that count as harm that would break the charm? Oh! You kicked his balls! Thank God you're here. Okay, so roll for damage here. Do an attack roll since you struck him. I'm going to say that because Beef's balls were just out in the air and exposed, that no matter what, it actually did damage. So do an unarmed strike on Beef's balls. Would that just be a D6?

Yeah. A five. Whoa! Take five ball damage, Beef. That's so hard. Gage doesn't mess around. And then right when that impact happens, all at once, probably for multiple reasons,

you realize that this person is not your friend and also that they used magic to try to trick you and did trick you into thinking that they were oh my god i am on my knees mercy my god my balls i'm holding my balls and i look down then i look back up and there's just like confusion and terror in my eyes and I'm holding myself and I say, what have you done? He slipped. No, baby, I've got this, okay? Okay.

I don't need to prove myself to y'all, okay? I don't need to prove myself. I don't need to be anything but what my baby Jennifer loves. Yeah, he doesn't need to prove himself to you guys. Chip, what the heck happened to you? Are you under a spell? What? No, he just, he respects.

Oh, let me guess. He knew about the dragon thing. No, he didn't. Gage, I guess it's just you and me against everybody, huh? You know what? Actually, no, it's not me and you. It's me and her, me and Jennifer, okay? This is my girl.

Me and you. That's right. The three of us's not me and you. It's me and her, me and Jennifer, okay? This is my girl. Me and you. That's right. The three of us versus the three of you. No, it's just me and Gage, and you're all trying to involve yourselves, and we don't need anything from you, anything, except Gage could use a job. No, no, we are not taking resumes.

I don't know if now's the time, okay? When's the time, Gage? We got to get our own place. You can't afford it, and you certainly can't fit in mine. I don't know if now's the time, okay? When's the time, Gage? We gotta get our own place. You can't afford it, and you certainly can't fit in mine. You need a job. Well, you can stay in my room if you want to. Have my bed, Gage.

No, that's also my room. Hey, first of all, you were trying to get a job from us. You were making the impression that you were making, trying to get hired here. Look, this place needs some- Don't switch out your toothpick again. Jennifer is correct.

I do need a job, okay? We need to set our own sale and we need our own place and that costs money, okay? I'm not going to ask my family for any money, so I guess I have to work. This place seems like it needs help.

You guys were slammed last week. That is partially your fault. You took Jennifer away from us, but I'm forgiving you. Listen, just let him shadow tonight. Seb, let him shadow tonight, okay? It's called stodging and... Let him stodge.

Let him stodge me. Let him stodge me. I'm happy to have him stodge me. Chip. No. What, Chalice? What is your end game with this guy? Maybe if you guys treated me once

like this guy has treated me for the last four minutes. I feel like he knew who you were and has done nothing else exceptional. Yeah, exactly. My God, just let him stodge. Okay, he's going to stodge, Chip. Fine, yeah, well, fine. Okay, sweet. Well, we're about to open up in 10 minutes anyways, and it's about to be, what's tonight?

It's the weekend, so it should be a good night so all right i'm gonna go ahead back to the kitchen make sure we got some late night uh pot of orange going and um okay good luck baby you're gonna be great i know it okay thanks babe when do i get to stage you you stage me after work. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. And Gage brings Jennifer up to his lips and they just do like, his kissing basically engulfs her entire body. Oh, God. And somehow Seb was in between them still. That piercing's gonna get infected.

Um, can I talk to you all for just a quick sec? Just so when... Yeah, okay. Yeah, what's up? Yeah, sure. What's going on? What's going on? We gotta get rid of this okay. Yeah, what's that? What's that? Sure, what's going on? What's going on? We gotta get rid of this guy.

Yeah, Beef, that's what I was just about to say. Wait, which guy? I'll take him on. Which guy? I'll fight him. I'll fight anybody. Who are you talking about? You're screaming in a sidebar.

I'm talking about Gage. I have a plan. All right. It hasn't worked out too hot so far to try to talk Jennifer out of this. She's not going to break up with him. So I was thinking, what if we convinced Gage to break up with her?

Huh? Why aren't you opening your mouth when you talk right now? I'm having a hard time understanding. Okay, sorry. Sorry. Okay. Ooh, sorry. We should convince Gage to break up with Jennifer.

I feel like we could do it. Much better. Yeah. Because he's way too cool for her. I get it. I get it now. No, dude. I do.

Seb, whatever gets the job done. Fine. I'm picking up what you're putting down. All right, so we're all going to do it. Every time we have alone time with him tonight. Everyone's on the same page. Beef, what's the plan? The plan is to get rid of Gabe.

Are there glue on the cups tonight? Why do our lips keep getting stuck together? Hey, hey, hey. Who am I? Hey, who am I? Stajajan who's stajan maybe we just get this one out of the way how about you go with uh chip first huh okay yeah chip my man yeah bud oh bud okay hey what's going on um yeah i hold try and hold his hand. In Gage's hands, there's just a bunch of loose toothpicks that stab you. Dang, this guy's sharp.

So what do you do? What do you do here? You bartend? You sling the drinks? Gage, what don't I do? Well, I guess I'm mostly a bouncer, I guess is what you could call it. But, you know, I wait. I'll bartend.

I'll do anything that needs to be done and get the job done. I'm a cool kind of guy like that, you know? All right. Well, teach me the ropes. Where do I jump in? Yeah. So come on over up to the door and we'll check on some IDs. Check IDs? You guys check

IDs here? Yeah. You can practice on me if you want to. I'm happy to show off my ID anytime. Okay. Sir, can I see your ID? Oh, who, me? What, do I look young or something? No, you look about 45, but I've been told I need to check

IDs. Okay. All right. Here you go. Oh, it's wet. Why is your ID wet? I was just doing a little bit of a workout. You're a working out kind of guy, aren't you?

Oh, not at all. This body is born not not not earned dang an unearned body that sounds pretty nice uh you know who has to work really hard for their body is jennifer right i mean how lame oh and it is working can i tell you she's been working hard hard, let me tell you. Those cheeks don't just develop themselves. I don't want to talk about this, actually. I don't want to do this. That's fair.

Actually, pass. Hey, what stays behind closed doors, am I right? Yeah, there's a little fist bump pound. Oh, my gosh. You know how long I've been trying to get the gang around here to throw these into the mix? Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, hey, let me show you something.

You know who else hates fist bumps is actually Jennifer. Yeah, you're actually doing cool fist bumps, and she hates that kind of stuff. Well, my fist bumps, hey, these are for the boys. These are for the boys. Offers them another fist bump. I want to show you something, okay? You look like a guy that likes magic.

Oh! Yeah! Oh my God! Like real magic? Yeah, Gage takes a deck of cards and just starts to fan it and quick shuffle and launch a card from one hand to another and catch it in his mouth.

Whoa! How did that get there? Magic, my friend. Magic. Andrew, why don't you actually roll for how... Was that a trick? Yeah. Let's say me catching the card in my mouth is a trick. Okay. Let's roll for sleight of hand to see how well that trick worked. Okay. I got a 17. That was pretty incredible.

Listen, Gage, I got a level with you. Yeah. What is it? You are genuinely too cool for Jennifer, okay? And I want to know if you're interested in taking me out on the town, maybe. Chip. Yeah. I can't say I'm not flattered.

And honestly, I can't say that if you caught me maybe two weeks ago when I was single, I wouldn't be tempted. Okay, we can't. We can't. That maybe two weeks ago when I was single, I wouldn't be tempted. Okay, we can't. We can't. That's what I was going to say. You know what? I'm actually seeing. Well, I don't actually see her, but I'm penning with this lady. Her name's Alberta, and she's wonderful.

Yeah, and she is real, which is nice. That is nice. That's nice for you, just like me and Jennifer. We're hitting it off, and we're in love. Are you saying it's real between the two of you? Oh, it's real, okay? I'm going to get us a sweet little pad, just the two of us. We're going to spread this relationship's wings and soar.

Okay, screw it. I 100% approve. I 100% approve. You hear that, gang? I 100% approve of Gage. They're all leaning against the bar and uh beef made a bet that chip could pull it off um and he obviously didn't so beef's paying up seb and chalice there was no way come on beef i'm ruined all right i'm up. Okay. Hey, Gage.

Oh, don't worry, Chalice. I already approve. We're good. Chip, you were... Hey, hey. You did a bad job. Okay, I feel it. Hey, Gage.

Do you want to shadow me while I wait these tables? While Chalice was talking with Chip, Gage poured a little scotch on the bar and starts to slurp it up. You know, scotch, no cup. So cool. So handsome. Come over here next to me, Gage. Yeah, okay. All right. What do you do here? You sling the drinks? Who slings the drinks here? I actually, we don't really have an established bartender, which is why it usually takes so long for people to get drinks. Seb, sometimes when he's not in the back room crunching the numbers. Oh my gosh, have your teeth always been this big? Your teeth are so big. I don't know how to take that, so I'll take it as a compliment. Thank you.

Oh, strong arms too. So anyways, my my whole job do you want to kiss me kiss you yeah sorry not my date we'll see uh toss hair toss hair hurts neck tosses hair um so this is sort of what i do is i walk over to a table and I go so watch this okay just follow me do you want me to be a patron I can sit down I can pretend we can role play okay Gage instantly starts snapping service

service whoa um hi I'm just so small and I was wondering if I don't, little old me could get you some waters? Oh, I'm so sorry, but I've been sitting here for at least 25 minutes. No water, no greet, no hello, no nothing. Hey, man, fuck you. The ambiance is enough. What the fuck are you talking about? This place is gross.

From another table, finally someone fucking says it. I've been waiting for 20, does anyone bartend here? That's what I've been saying, man. That's what I've been saying. Seb from the back of the bar goes, not right now. Whatever, I spit in those guys' foods.

Where were we? And Chalice sits down next to Gage and sort of in the booth and slides up close. I mean, if you wanted to, I don't know, make out with me, I wouldn't tell Jennifer. And then Chalice is like looking to see if Jennifer is like noticing them flirting

that hopefully she'll see that he's a bad guy. You can roll for perception then if you want to see if Jennifer's looking. 17. Great. You see Jennifer kind of like look over her shoulder as she's directing action in the kitchen. And then she does kind of squint over at you. And she does look pretty concerned, actually. You can tell that. Chalice, this is really. But and he pulls out his deck of cards and he starts to do a magic trick. But love is like this deck of cards. Okay, there's a lot of queens out there. A lot of jokers. A lot of gestures. You're pulling some of these cards out of my hair. That's crazy. But I'm a king that's fit for only one queen, and her name's Jennifer.

And then in that moment, he makes like a king of spades and queen of spades match up, and those are the two cards that are left in his hands. Well, let's see if he's able to do that trick very cool. Okay, it's a 10 plus one. An 11? Yeah. So it is a king and a queen, non-matching suits.

So as you see here, they don't quite match up, but they're a perfect fit, just like me and Jennifer. Whoa. Are you engrossed? By your trick? By my trick? Yeah, it was mostly my cards getting pulled, those cards getting pulled out of my hair. Whoa. Are you engrossed? By your trick? By my trick? Yeah, it was mostly my cards getting pulled, those cards getting pulled out of my hair.

Whoa. I'm starting to understand what Jennifer sees. But dude, I think you can do, I think that you should not tie yourself down. I agree. I agree. Chip, have you been under the table the whole time? What are you doing down there?

I'm just checking out your cool kicks. What are these? Suede? They are suede, yeah. Okay, I just got rejected by a guy with a bow tie tattoo that I wasn't even interested in in the first place. Beef, I need you. Same, girly.

What do you need? You're up. I'm up. I'm up. I'm actually going to take him on a little field trip to the deepest lake in town. Oh, my God. You're shadowing your job, and you're taking him to the deepest lake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love it.

Yeah, you'll see. You'll see. We're standing on a cliff, and the wind is rippling through our hair and I take out a cigarette and I light it and I say, I don't really work at Bottoms Up anymore. I perform there. Upwards to a thousand shows a day. I used to clog the toilets and then unclog them.

But now I kind of am king there. But I got to say something to you. Go for it. What do you think's at the bottom of this lake, Gage? Beef. What do you think? Beef, honestly, I think there's probably at least 27 bodies that you've pushed off this cliff into that lake. Well, looks like there might be a 28.

You hurt our Jennifer. There's going to be 28 at the bottom of this lake. I could never, would never hurt that little angel. She's

too strong, one, to be hurt. And hurt and two i would never dare it's the best relationship she's changed me okay i used to be really bad like bad bad bad bad yeah and now i'm just one bad i'm just one little bad boy well Well, I got to tell you, little bad boy, I eat little bad boys like you for breakfast. A spoon and a fork. So you better watch your back. Can I roll for intimidation? Yes, you definitely can.

Okay, it's 13 plus 5, 18. That is pretty intimidating. Gage is kind of trembling a little bit. His mouth is, you know, kind of got a little shake to it. His toothpick keeps falling out of his mouth. He keeps trying to replace it. It keeps falling. There's kind of like a little pile building up.

Beef, can I show you a trick? It better make me laugh. I know your style. Look, I'm not here to take over your kingdom, okay? I'm not here to jump on that stage. I'm here to make a little sweet, sweet cash, get out of there, and take my Jennifer far away, okay? Just the two of us.

And he starts shuffling the cards, just kind of slow, mesmerizing shuffles. And he pulls out top card, a little jester, just kind of slow, mesmerizing shuffles. And he pulls out top card, a little jester, a little joker. Beef, this is you. This is your card. Now me, pulls out a two.

I'm down here. I'm way at the bottom, okay? I'm nowhere near your stature, your elegance, your performance your performance yeah that's right and you and then he starts to shuffle them again starts to shuffle them starts they start kind of flying everywhere similar to these moves with chip where they're just these cards are going crazy right and then all of a sudden he uh he takes his dagger he's got a little like a little pocket dagger and he and he throws it down at the ground and only one card gets pinned.

That's hilarious. Why don't you pick up that card? Andrew, why don't you roll to see if it ends up being the card you want it to be? It's a nine plus one. Okay, so it's probably, that is not going to be the card that you want. This is just the card with the instructions on it.

Yes. All right, well, that's been my 10-minute break. We should probably get back. I took you like 30 miles out, so it's going to take us a while to get back. It's been a couple hours, I believe. Yeah, a couple hours. We're actually going to have to take a pit stop for gas on the way back, maybe get a couple sandwiches.

What does taking a pit stop for gas mean, Elizabeth? Gas would be some kind of nozzle going up my... Finish it. How about getting... Gas is me going up to anybody's door and asking for a glass of water. finish it uh how about getting gas is um me going up to anybody's door and asking for

a glass of water I love it oh that's amazing okay so you two enter back in into bottoms up beef where have you been no I'm sorry

where have you been and there's there's a chalk outline on the ground and there's two little goblin detectives taking pictures. Gage, where have you been? I run up to Beef and I shove Beef aside

and I give Gage a huge big hug. Okay, all right. I have decided I will not be bartending today. I'm making it official. I'm making that declaration. So Gage, how about you help me? We're going to go crunch some numbers and do the books in my office, huh? Maybe have a little chat. How's that sound? All right. That sounds good. But I was looking forward to a little cocktail,

you know, a little cocktail duo back there. Hey, listen up here, bang. I don't like you. Get into my office, all right? And I'm shoving him right and i'm shoving him along i'm shoving him along and then i slam the door behind us hey where's that that's the only guy that makes drinks oh my god uh i go up to my desk and there's like all an assortment of just like all sorts of papers things uh like just like just seven or eight just abacuses with just different months on top of them. And then I go over to a little globe and I press on a thumbtack that with a post-it note that says bottoms up on it. And then all of a sudden a trap door at the back of the room just opens.

And there's a, there's a batting cage. So let me tell you what a batting cage is in this world. It is just this elephantoid thing that is just throwing baseballs as hard as it can. And you're supposed to just like hit that into a net. And then the rest of it is basically just a batting cage. Love it. Perfect.

We have an elephant under our bar? DM approves. All right right you ever done this before you ever you know slug some slug some balls oh no this body is not made for baseball well a lot of people would say the same about me but rip off my shirt and i am wearing a jersey that says the the seven x uh which is my my uh collegiate softball team yeah and i won state so yeah um so the first thing i'm gonna say is believe a little bit harder in yourself all right because you can reach the stars hit me with one and then i just smack it as hard as i can and it's just like a real just destroys the i should have to roll for this shouldn't i yeah roll for athletic yeah yeah i was like maybe i can get away with this but

okay so i botched uh it doesn't even matter um what is that even doing giving a pep talk in the basement can can uh uh from the botching can whatever happens happens but can gauge kind of like catch like almost save seb from like falling or whatever happens that's traumatic from this botch botchery sure sure why don't you roll andrew um to try to prevent him from hurting himself just a nine okay so he kind of falls to his butt um but a lot not as hard as he would have um and you're kind of standing over him cradling him as if he were a newborn babe gosh it hit me in the nose to leave my daughter alone please please don't tell them that i'm like this. Hey, hey, hey, baby, baby, baby, baby. Gage just puts his finger up to Seb's lips, shushes him.

Why does it taste like green apple? What the? Yeah, it's my body lotion. And he grabs a toothpick and hands it and puts it in Seb's mouth. You are poking right into my broken gums right now. That really is painful, but I love the gesture. I just think, man, that, you know, you've got your whole life ahead of you and, you know, relationships come and go. And I just want to know that you're serious about our Jennifer, okay?

All of y'all have been saying this, that I'm so young. I've got my life ahead of me, okay? Well, my life doesn't start 20 years from now. My life starts right now, okay? And it's been starting with a little piece called Jennifer, okay? And she is my babe. She's my baby. She's my little booty thing, okay? And... Ha ha ha! Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Whoa! This is a human man talking about a rat. And also rocking Seb like a baby right now, yeah. And I don't appreciate y'all coming in with all of your criticism. Okay. I mean, what do y'all know about relationships to begin with? I've been successfully married for quite some time.

Where is she? Don't ask me that, man. Don't. I'm hurt right now look at me i got a i got a face full of shattered teeth and this seems to be happening a lot this season and i no she's not here what do you want from me and then can uh gage do a magic trick to help put his teeth back in his mouth? To help Seb recover his teeth, but do it with a bit of flair and a bit of magic performance. For sure. Yes.

And because Seb is in such a state, you can do it with advantage. Okay. I got 19. Whoa. This is beautiful to behold. Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha Dude. Oh, I hope this is forever. Oh, boys, are you done goofing around down there? We're just closing up for the night. I want to talk to you, Gage.

I want to know how it all went. Shall we? We shall. And then I press the button on the globe again, and the door swings shut, but right before it does, you just hear the elephant kind of sigh because it's going to be so lonely back there. And we can leave. Dark.

As you all head into the bar, a lot of the stools are flipped up and turned up, indicating that the night's over. The last remnants of the patrons that were there for the evening are heading out, and the whole gang's kind of communing at the main bar. And Jennifer greets you too. Oh my gosh, Gage, tell me everything. What was your favorite job to Tostage? What do you think you're going to do for Bottoms Up? Baby, I can't work here. Okay. I can't. Wait. These people are against us and our love. Okay, every single one of them wants us to break up.

Nobody wants us to be together. What? What? Us? Yeah, the four of you. All four of you. Mine was out of jealousy, to be fair. Chip tried to date me.

Well, Chip and Chalice both tried to make out with me. Mine was fake. His was real. And then Seb tried to, I guess, play baseball with me. I'm not quite sure on that one, but they all tried to break us up. Baseball? What are you talking about? What are you talking about, huh?

What are you talking about? I don't know. He's obviously on drugs or something like that. There's something wrong in his head. Yeah, Jennifer, he's crazy. Let's go. No, no, enough. Enough. This is ridiculous. And she gets up on the bar. I told you guys not to interfere with my life. And what are you going and doing?

You go ahead and try to do this behind my back i can't believe you we care about you jenny we want to see the best for you let me look at this guy his his shirt is tucked into his shoes and he hasn't clipped his nose hair in like how long look at this guy beef you're looking in a mirror again you You always do this. Oh, whoops. Sorry. Mirrors distract you. Sorry. I'll tuck that back in.

Clip, clip, clip. Guys, listen. I'm really, really upset with you. And the thing that makes me the most mad is that I didn't have to be upset with you because I was already planning on breaking up with Gage. Yes. What? What?

Jennifer, what are you talking about? Gage, I love you. I really do. But I mean, empty your pockets. Don't stop this. Stop. Stop. Stop. Empty your pockets. Don't. Stop this. Stop. Stop. Stop this.

Empty your pockets, you guys. The whole night, I mean, I was checking in on Gage, seeing how he was doing, seeing if he was hitting it off and doing well in any of the particular positions. And I guess it really started when I noticed him with Chalice. I looked over, and it was really concerning because you could tell he was doing magic tricks, but really while he was doing that, he was just using him as a distraction

to steal your guys' wallets. And then Gage promptly unloads his pockets and all four of their wallets and bags of coins fall out and a little souvenir goblet from Bottoms Up as well. Wait. What the? Hey. You didn't steal mine, did you? Yeah, Chip.

I stole yours and yours is wet. Why is your wallet wet? Why is your ID wet? Why is your wallet wet? It's not piss. No one asked that. Now that's all it could be. Yeah, that's all it could be, Chip.

You stole our wallet? Yes, okay. We should have thrown you in the river. Look, okay, I'm not sorry, but I am a self-diagnosed klepto, okay? I'm a self-diagnosed kleptom, okay? I'm a self-diagnosed kleptomaniac. My side business isn't finding treasures. It's pickpocketing, okay? We knew that.

Yeah, we kind of... That was kind of clear all along. But you were trying to impress us, and you do this? Wow. The impressing was really for my benefit and for Jennifer's. You know, if I could get you all on our side, then maybe I thought, Jen, baby, we could, you know, look, I got a little extra cash here. We could get our little apartment.

You got extra cash? You mean the wallets that I just called you out for stealing from my friends? No, Gage. No. Listen, what we have, it, I do think it's special. Our connection, mentally, physically. Okay. Nope, nope, nope.

Ew. Okay. La, la, la, la, la, la. Can't hear it. It's really special, but I can't be with someone who would steal from my friends and you know what i've been doing a lot of thinking and i'm young you know and i got my whole life look i can i can change okay here here here chalice here here's your wallet beef here's your half of an eaten sandwich. Chip, your soggy, soggy ID and wallet, okay? And Seb, your signed baseball.

Hey! Baseball? No, don't. Don't worry about it. Gage, look at me. I'm sorry, but it's over. You sure? No final little smooch to, you know, end the night?

Your account is officially closed at the Bank of Smooches. Damn, dude. No, I had a checking account. Damn, dude. I had a checking account, credit card. I had it all. Ew. Sorry, Gage.

You're overdrawn, fella. Oh, yuck. I'm sorry. You know, I understand, okay? I'm not perfect. I have some work to do, okay? And you know what? I'm not going to stop until we're back together. So I'm going to go work on myself right now, okay? I'm going to go back to my tiny little pad with my roommate Blaze, and I'm going to go work on myself right now. Okay. I'm going to go back to my tiny little pad with my roommate Blaze, and I'm going to really work on myself. I'm going to try to stop being a klepto. Okay. I'm going to really try to stop doing that for you.

And I, you know, I'm going to be back. He's stealing plates and cups off the tables as he's backing up. Literally stealing. Wow. Just go, man. Okay. Okay, Chels. It takes a long. Literally stealing. Wow. Just go, man. Okay. Okay, Chalice. It takes a long time to change.

Okay? It takes a long time to change. Put beef down. Put beef down. Put beef in your pocket. Fine. Fine. Okay?

Sorry. Sorry. Okay. Sorry. Okay. And then he just takes one last toothpick out of his mouth and he reaches for another, but he's all out of toothpicks.

Just walks, walks out the door. I think those crazy kids are going to work it out. I hate to see him leave, but I love to watch him go. Am I right guys? You know, I'm really sex positive,

but I don't want to hear about this. I just really don't want to hear about this. I just really don't want to hear about this. Ass on that guy. Straight up dump truck for days. Okay, enough. All right, all right. I'm going to my office. I'm going to go crunch some numbers.

I'm going to go wait at some tables. I'm going to go wash my hands. Before you all go and do those different things, I just want to say that I'm still pretty pissed that you tried to interfere in my life behind my back, but I know your hearts are in the right place, so thanks, y'all. We're sorry, Jennifer.

Right, everybody? Yeah. Yeah, I promise not to ask out any of your boyfriends ever again. You what, Chip? Hey, guys. Water under the bridge. And to celebrate, how about we just dig into some of this cheese

I've been setting aside for a special time. Wait. It's not here. Gage! God damn it! sitcom dnd is comprised of elizabeth andrews ben briggs aaron keith waleed mansour and me sean coyle and of course today we were joined by the immensely talented andrew robinson i highly recommend forming a lifelong friendship with Andrew. Arnie Pera wrote the theme song and Sean Maher did the editing on this one.

Join our Patreon and help us get closer to achieving our stretch goal of 500 patrons. Doing so means we'll release our lost one shot GM'd by Aaron Keefe. Boom. The support from our patrons is what makes this show possible. It's how we pay for editors, equipment, and all the other expenses that go into creating this show that we love. So hop on now for $5 and get access to over 30 hours of content instantly. And for those of you who are already subscribed to our Patreon, shout out to the kitchen rats this week's episode is elizabeth's diary entries part two which means elizabeth will

return to read from her real diary from when she was a tween and then her and aaron will discuss if you heard the first episode of this you know why it is one of our most beloved and talked about episodes on the Patreon today. Okay. I think that's it for now until next Tuesday. And thanks as always for listening. That was a hate gun podcast.