SitcomD&D - S4 E5: Pining For Love

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

Fresh off the heels of getting cursed, the gang heads to the library to get some answers about breaking Tangerine’s magic spell. Nothing comes for free, so they’ll have to help a tree woo his one true love (a different tree) if they want to find the solution they’re seeking. Starring: Erin Keif, Waleed Mansour, Elizabeth Andrews, Sean Coyle, and Ben BriggsTheme Song by: Arne ParrottArtwork by: Waleed MansourStory Concept by: Waleed Mansour & Sean CoyleEdited by: Sean MeagherSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Podcast. When will young Abe, when do you think he's going to actually be a guest on the show? He could talk-ish at two probably is my guess. That's like what I see with nieces and friends. So I'm going to say two. I'm going to say immediately. That's a prerequisite.

I want to say that recording is going to be a nightmare. We don't even know if he's funny yet when is Mara going to be on the podcast are we going to do it Italian style and wait until

she's 18 or 35 I think she should take over being chalice in a year and a half oh that's fun are you planning on dying

I would like to retire oh retire that's not a secret yeah sorry y'all you only like to retire. Oh, retire. That's nice. Yeah, sorry, y'all. You only got a year and a half more of this and we're all retiring and being replaced by babies.

I gotta find a baby. Wouldn't it be so much better? I gotta find a baby. All babies and Elizabeth is still here. Okay, I like that. Sign me up. Sign me up. Welcome back to Sitcom D&D, a real play Dungeons & Dragons podcast.

Just keep going. Recorded in front of a fake studio audience. Man, I really, I hit a new peak on that. New record on how high that pitch was. A lot has happened since the beginning of the season, so we're going to do a little Previously on Sitcom D&D. And feel free to help me flesh

this out, y'all, but I'm pretty sure Chalice was captured and taken to Glass Castle at the beginning of this season. A rescue mission was launched by the Repairs, but ultimately thwarted, so y'all tried to split up and infiltrate individually, posing as employees of the Crown.

Beef, he went for the number one butler ranking. Chip tried to become a royal carriage driver, and Seb attempted to become a royal strong boy, but in the end, you all did end up in the woods, where King Cicero had his favorite frenemy, the powerful witch Tangerine Protumbrance, level a pretty intense curse on you guys.

The result of which is said that if Chalice doesn't formally rejoin the royal family by sunset on the final day of the season, then all of you will die. Or so you've been told. So that's obviously a lot to unpack. And in order to try and better understand maybe the legitimacy of this curse and how to go about it, y'all are headed to the one place you know has the best shot of answering a question like this, and that's the library. So we'll pick up in today's episode with all of you on your way to the library. So quiet on set, sound speeding, and we're rolling! Yay!

Duh! Welcome back to sitcom beat! Welcome! When you need a break from this crazy world to see your friends and fill a cup Find Sebastian, Chalice, Chip, and Beef at the Noble Bottoms Up. As step by step our growing pains are improving home and away, we're feeling absolutely fabulous on another happy day. We're in different worlds with different strokes, but the good times will not end. So cheers to all our family and our friends.

Starring Aaron Keith as Chalice Glass. Elizabeth Andrews as Beef. Waleed Mansour as Chip Ahoy. Ben Briggs as Sebastian Von Hugh Grant. And Sean Coyle as everything else. Sitcom D&D is filmed in front of a fake studio audience. Okay, let's think. She cursed me when I was a baby

and that one turned out to be fake. Well, it was fake because we thought it was fake because of the whole true love thing. And I mean, that's kind of like up in the air at this point okay can you guys stop putting each other's hair behind your ears and stuff like that like that's just like really weird well the way it's windy it's windy out seb anyways though but like i don't want to risk assuming that this one's fake beef what do you think? Oh, me? Weren't listening?

That's okay. No, not a wink. Not a wink. Not a wink. Beef, we're going to die. I think we're going to die. There's like an 80% chance that this is real. I know everyone's sort of spiraling out right now.

I feel like no one's really at their best. But you know what? We're going to go to the library. Library has all sorts of stuff. They're going to know how to break every kind of curse. We'll break this probably this afternoon. Everything's going to go back to normal. We can all hang out. We can all

party. Curse broken. We can kiss each other if we want to. We can hug each other. Like this. Like this. Oh my god! Keep talking about the curse and how much fun it is to all be cursed together. I hope you have an awesome curse party.

This is the worst. Oh, my God. A curse party. Oh, my God. We could. Oh, my God. We could all bring pillows and popcorn. Beef, yes. Jennifer, don't stop walking.

Come on, Jennifer. We know you're a part of the group. I'm holding my breath until you guys stop being cursed together. I'm holding my breath until you guys stop being cursed together. And before too long, the trees part and there is a clearing in the forest that you've been walking in. And you come upon the library. And it is a pretty impressive structure here. There is an enormous pine tree at the center of this library. It creates like a cone at the top of this huge structure.

There are pillars like the Temple of Zeus, if you can picture that, but they're made out of like this like onyx marble. As you kind of move through the main space, you see some students who look like they're studying, some young wizards trying to get into the restricted section, a group of students who seem like they would have nothing in common are serving out a detention in one area. Let's follow them for a Patreon episode, I think. Breakfast club style. Yeah, let's do that for a Patreon. A real Nicolas Cage type is moving furniture and looking for clues. But ultimately, you do see a desk of someone who would probably be working there. And as you approach the desk, I'm assuming that you're doing that.

No, no, no one moves. We're all standing behind Seb. He's holding his bag. No, no. He can't make us. Now we approach. Okay, great. There is a very pleasant looking librarian at the front desk, maybe a half elf, but you never like to presume, who is busy checking books back in and stamping them accordingly. There's a placard on the desk that reads just the letters M and B. Oh my goodness, hi. Can I help you guys with something?

Hi, yes, we, so silly. We actually got cursed to die and we were wondering. Oh my God, do you know who you look like? You look like an author, Dennis Lehane. He's a famous warlock and a writer. Least on the back of this book, look at this. Doesn't it look like you? Oh my God, Chip, that looks just like you.

That looks just like me. Oh my God. That's attractive. Your hand is on my butt, not Chalice's, so please remove that. Thank you. Then wait,

where are my hands? Now that, that should be the title of a book. Where are my hands? Yeah. Is that something you do? No, but I'm always coming up

with titles of books. Just, I don't know. Sometime, at some point, I'll write one. What's your, no, what's your name? M.B. Oh, what does that stand for? Marble Baby Back? That would be a good title to a book.

Marble Baby Back? I'm bonding with this woman. And I'm writing that down. Look at me, I'm all over the place. I'm so sorry. How can I help you with something? I know, you probably get stuff like this all the time, but we've been cursed to die. Not Jennifer

here. She is not a part of this. She's not part of it. We were wondering if you had any books on curses or if you had someone we could talk to who knows a lot about curses. We're trying to break the curse. Yeah, or like benches we can hang out at for the indoor-outdoor vibe. The architect

here, we kind of want to use this for bottoms-up vibe. Love to talk about blueprints when you got a chance. First things first, for a curse, I could give you the runaround and send you all about this library in a hundred different directions, but I think with a curse, what you're going to want to

do is actually just go straight to the source here you're gonna want to go to the tree and just ask him yourself directly ask who sorry the tree who yeah the tree at the tree who do we ask the tree oh uh the tree here is a sentient being at the center of the library and has most of the knowledge of the library just right in them. We all knew that because we all read a lot. Right, guys? Yeah, we come here every Sunday. Every Sunday, Monday.

Yeah. Religious reading, man. Well, of course, you know, his name, of course, is Chris. And, of course, you know his last name. Mystery. Miss. Well, no. It's a giant pine tree.

His first name is Chris. Baby back. You probably know his last name. Okay, one more time. His first name's Chris. It's a pine tree. Chris. Tuffer.

It's Ovens. It's Chris Ovens. Again, second time. I know I've heard that name once before, but sometimes people have the same name. So it's Chris Ovens is Again, second time. I know I've heard that name once before, but, you know, sometimes people have the same name. So it's Chris Ovens is the name of this tree. Wait, who's the other person you know that's named Chris Ovens? It came up in an episode.

You don't listen. It's fine. Me? Thank you. MB, you've been incredibly helpful. Libraries are so important. Reading is important. Oh, aren't you precious?

Okay, come back anytime if you have questions. Sitcom D&D is sponsored by BetterHelp. And with that said, I've got a question for you. What's the right amount, the perfect amount of socializing for you? And how do you recharge? Maybe you thrive around people or maybe you need a little alone time. Therapy can give you self-awareness to build a social life that doesn't drain your battery. I think before I started going to therapy, I thought it was some sort of situation where

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and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. So find your social sweet spot with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash sitcom D&D today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash sitcom D&D. You do see that there is a stairwell that circles the tree. I look at the stairs and I sigh for a second and then really try and look for an elevator. I probably spend 30 minutes looking for an elevator. Like we've already gone ahead walking.

I'll beat you there. I'll beat you to the top. Let me just find this elevator. Sure, sure, sure. Okay, roll an investigation. A 19. Okay. Whoa.

There isn't an elevator. Okay, there just wasn't one built, so you won't see one that doesn't exist. Wow. However, what you do, what you have found is that other people, young people, kind of adventure seekers, you know, little thrill seekers, they don't like taking the stairs like normal people. And they have kind of constructed from one of the branches a little boingy boingy gets you to the toppy toppy if you're brave enough.

If we're brave enough. I shove a kid out of the way and I say, I got this. I got this, pal. Give me acrobatics check. Yep. After he pushes the kid out of the way, Chalice sort of puts her hair behind the ears and looks around like, can you believe how strong my boyfriend is? Oh, no. What do you mean, oh, no oh no oh he pushed the kid yeah wasn't that amazing oh no she's got she's love drunk i rolled a 10 everyone's already kind of about to be at the top

and uh you bounce the tree whatever you whatever quality is happening on this tree branch in particular, it'll get you there. So you're up there. You just do not land gracefully at the top plateau of this stairwell. You fall pretty much on your back, like flat on your back. Y'all look like absolute fools. Seb has the hiking sticks and goes, oh. Oh.

All of you hear a voice, kind of a very low, almost ancient sounding voice. Boom. How can I help you? Mr. Ovens? Chris? That's my name. Go ahead, Chalice. You're the most likable in the group.

Go ahead. That can't be true. You are. Sadly, it is. Han, you are absolutely the most likable. Okay, sorry, sorry. So I am Princess Chalice. Tangerine Protuberance, she's a local witch, very talented.

She put a curse on us. how do we break this curse um is there a book we can read is there something to do someone we can talk to another witch that can uncurse us tell me everything you know about this curse i thought he was just gonna say everything we know that That would have been... Yeah. Still short. Not that long. Right. Who remembers anything about the curse? Who was listening? You didn't write any of it down? Well, we're going to write it down, man.

We have bags over our heads and our hands were tied behind our back. You two, stop touching each other. It's distracting. See, even the tree agrees. It's just pinkies. That barely counts. Yeah, it's just where they are. Where the pinkies are is the problem. Did you just get together or something?

Well, where to start? We kind of just told each other we liked each other. It's going really well. It's going really well. And I don't want to put labels on anything unless you want to. We don't have time for this. We didn't write it down. We have to.

Did you know each other for a while before you said something? Do not engage them. Don't engage them. Yes, we did. We actually knew each other for like three seasons. Three seasons, right? Three seasons. I felt earned.

She had been engaged. I was almost seasons right three seasons i felt earned she had been engaged i was almost engaged yeah it felt earned yeah it felt like good pacing yeah how did you work up the courage to say something are you into someone right now Are you into someone right now? Uh-oh. Busted. I'm in love with another tree. That's awesome. What's their name? They're the Magnolia Tree. Super

Prink and Pretty. Super what? Prink. It's a falling tree. Stop embarrassing him. It's Prink. It's a falling tree. Stop embarrassing him. It's Prink. Sorry, I'm sorry. This guy's fascinating. Okay.

Yeah, what's the Magnolia's name? I don't know their name, but look. You can see her. And when you look to the right on the horizon, not too far away, this tree's got a great look at this other tree. A beautiful, prink and pretty magnolia tree. Oh my gosh, she's gorgeous.

That is a sexy tree. Absolutely stunning. You know how to pick them, Ovens. I just don't know if she'd help me aww well help us with the curse thing and then we can yeah this is starting to feel like a dead end

yeah if you like do our curse thing then maybe we can help you out bingo yes if you help me then I'll help you oh not the other order If you help me, then I'll help you. Oh, not the other order? No, not the other order.

Okay. You help me. I think in order to quarter, I've put a lot of thought into this. Does he breathe? He's a tree. Can you hear me breathing? I feel like you can hear me breathing. I feel like I'm breathing.

Aware of everyone's breath right now. I think I'll need three things to woo her. Okay, this we will write down. To woo them, I'll need one. A love poem. A love poem? Good you can understand me when I breathe. I was worried that wasn't coming.

It's like 50% of it. Yeah, it's kind of coming through. Yeah, we've been talking to you for a while. We're going to have to take our DM to the hospital after this episode. Two, a recipe for romantic fertilizer. It's just shit. And three, I need to learn everything I can about her type of tree. Get an encyclopedia for magnolia trees. Can we do these things here at the library, Chris?

Yes. Great. All these things you can do at the library. Alright, sir, we won't fail you. We will get these three things done. A-S-A-P-P-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y. And away we go.

And the tree floor, like the wide branch that you were standing on actually just drops you had control over it and you are now free falling um maybe 30 40 feet so uh beef uses feather fall let's go nice okay and you feather fall back to uh the main floor um actually not too far from mb desk. The love poem. We could find one, sure. There's books all over the place. But I don't know.

I feel like we could probably write one. Yeah, let's try one right now. Love. I forgot to tell you. Oh. I had a poem picked out in mind. Oh. It's the only poem

in a little blue book in the poetry section. Alright, well, kinda needed that. That's huge information. Yeah, that's huge. We could've been standing here for hours listening to these two lovesick dum-dums talking into each other's

mouths. Beef pushes past them and walks up to MB. Hey MB, could you maybe point us in the direction of the poetry section? And also, I am auditioning for new best friends, so if you've got any kind of fun quirks and want to join. I'm, well, taken on the best friend front.

I got my two besties right here behind me, she points, and they're in swivel chairs. They kind of swivel back in and just wave to you. They look like a blast. They're so cool. Buying those two a martini later. Yeah, wow. Oh, and the poetry section. Right, so that is

going to be actually two floors down. Easy peasy. Well, before I make my way down, I look around for an elevator just to see if there's an elevator down. Easy peasy. Well, before I make my way down, I look around for an elevator just to see if there's an elevator down. No! Another 30 minutes. The rest of you travel down this spiral

staircase. Jennifer, do you want to help us find these things on the list? No! I'm pouting! You guys haven't talked to me in like 10 minutes! Well, you're not part of this, kind of. Oh, my God, I know, Chip. I know.

How about children's section? It looks like they're reading all the little kids, all the little babies in there, some stories. No, I'm just small. Come on, Jenny. I'm not a kid. I'm just small. Looks like you're doing your craft in there.

Oh, I love crafts. Hold my hand. No, I'm staying with you guys, but I'm just pouting. I'm staying and I'm pouting. That's fine. You just have to hold my hand. You have to have a chaperone. Fine.

All right, let's go to the poetry section. Chip, if you want, you can give me an acrobatics check to try to just jump and hug the tree and slide down two floors. Oh, that's fun. I don't know why I wouldn't have done that anyway. That's a blast. It's really big. You'll just fall off.

Seb. No, that was Ben. That wasn't Seb. Ben. Seb would never say that. Seven. You do it, but you land on the floor you want on your back. Not to end out of yourself.

Babe. And you flop right in front of a very long line to a room that has the word poetry elegantly inscribed above it. We're going to go to the front and ask to go in. Okay, there is a library bouncer at the front of this line. And they actually have some decent leather armor here. There's a line just to get into the section? Yep, there is.

Well, if we're in emergency, this is actually for Mr. Ovens, the tree of the library. So we actually have super credentials. Plus we're dying. All right. Well, do you have his sap of approval? God, this guy said everything and nothing to us

is anyone else feeling that way no no it was like 20 minutes and we don't even have his sap and he was talking so slow I can't go back let's just wait in this line you guys alright can we go to the back of the line and then try to slowly convince everyone in front of us to cut to cut i mean that's your prerogative i mean you could try great we'll see in a minute all right thank you uh the second that chalice and chip get in line they start acting

like those people at like disneyland those couples at disneyland who are holding each other weird holding each other weird in line uh just against a railing. Yeah, holding each other weird in line. Just unreasonable amounts of PDA. Hey, Beef, I think this is going to be up to us to do this. And Jennifer is also here. Pouting. I have an idea. We got to convince ourselves, or not ourselves, we've already been convinced.

We have to convince the other people in line to let us go to the front. That's your idea? What? That was already the idea. Well, I'm getting there, all right? We're all on the same page, okay? We're in a library. God, I miss Chip. Same page.

So I know that's been established. But here's the new plan. Beef, you are so charismatic. You can convince these people to let us officially cut them and to help you out. I got a great idea. No, no, no. I've spent moments getting here.

People of the line to the poetry section, hear ye, hear ye. Beef gets up on top of Chip's shoulders while he's not even paying attention. You do have everyone's in line's attention now. Perfect. Can I really quick cast enhance ability

Eagle's Splendor on Beef? Thereby the target has advantage on all charisma checks. Which is where I was going. Are we actually playing D&D? What's happening? I try and then I get freaking tossed to the dirt. Hey, Elizabeth says, sorry, Ben,

but beef is on a mission. All of your attention, thank you so much. I just wanted to let everybody know there's some crazy crafts happening up. Just a couple of flights upstairs making dragons out of popsicle sticks. Pretty wild stuff. If you have a kid, you might want to show them you love them by making them something finally for yourself. Everyone's kind of staring up at you in line

and you see a lot of dragon t-shirts, a lot of dragon enthusiasts here. So this might go a long way with them. Why don't you give me a charisma check here with advantage. Yeah, if you guys have any kids or people you love,

you should make them something. They love that kind of shit. Chalice and Chip are sort of getting out of line and starting to walk towards the grass. Yeah, we're considering it. No, no, Chip, bring me back. I'm on your back, man. Oh, sorry, sorry. 13 plus 6.

Pretty much everybody in the line heads out except for the one person ahead of you who just isn't really into dragons. They're staying in line. But you guys are the next to go into the poetry room all of a sudden just isn't really into dragons they uh they're staying in line but you guys are the next to go into the poetry room all of a sudden dude i get it dude i've killed the dragon before actually so i get where you're coming from they look at you disgusted people online heard you say that they're dragon enthusiasts oh no no you don't understand they were my best friend sorry sorry they move along more confused than ever sean can i use suggestion to get this next person out of line sure hey buddy you should go pick out a way cooler book than this there's some books that have like boobs in it at this library check out that there are check out a book that has like a big ship in it something fun

something cool what babe i'll make sure we get some before we go you promise i promise oh yeah i should get that ship boo book i've been meaning i hope they have more than one copy he walks off determined he's like thank you thank you chip sadly watches that guy leave. So jealous that he's not him right now. But when you do get to the front, you notice that the bouncer's not even there anymore. He actually went to do the dragon craft. So y'all can just walk in.

Oh, cool. Blue book. Here we go. Little tiniest, bluest book we can find. Want to give me an investigation? Yeah. Would love to. Yeah.

Eight. Five. A 16. me an investigation? Yeah. We'd love to. Yeah. Eight. Five. A 16. 23. There we go. Nice. Okay. Seb, you find it first.

Beef, you are hot on his tail. It's actually kind of like displayed on top of one of the shelves with the cover facing your face. The little tiny blue book has exactly one poem in it as described and you've got it. Bingo, bingo.

Cross it off, cross it off. All right, what do we want to do next? Let's do the Magnolia. Let's save the hot shit for last. Let's do Magnolia encyclopedia. Oh, great. Okay, cool. Let's go back to our friend MB

and see where the encyclopedia section is, huh? Great idea. Time jump. Boom, you're back to MB. Jane, Barbara, MB, my girls. Seb, he's got something to say. Wow. Immense pressure.

We are looking for Magnolia Encyclopedia. That looked painful. Encyclopedia is fine. Why am I sweating? Oh, that's going to be all the way at the basement, like the bottom, the bottom floor. Well, there goes Chip trying to find an elevator. Whee! Chip, give me an acrobatics check, and we'll see you guys down there.

Good Lord, an eight. Yep, you fall on your back and knock the one out of yourself. Just as everyone else kind of arrives. I pretend to be passed out. Oh, my God. Chip is dead. I care so much. Wait a second. Babe.

He's so funny. Sad, beef. Jennifer, isn't he so funny? Guys, it was a joke. It was just a joke. He was joking about being dead. Oh, he is hurt, though. Yeah, I am.

Just a joke. I'm actually- You joke about being dead. Oh, he is hurt though. Yeah, I am. But I'm- I just bent that crazy way. It's supposed to go that way. No.

So you are on the bottom for the entire bottom floor. So these huge roots are coming out of the base and go deep into the earth. And all around you in the walls, it is solid earth because you are four floors beneath what would be ground level. They just planted this tree. Chris was planted four floors down in the earth

and all around you, surrounding all the walls, as its roots kind of go through the basement and kind of go up the wall and through the, into the earth beyond it. Chris's roots actually make up a lot of the shelves that some of these books are on. And this is the encyclopedia section. Give me just like a perception roll.

15. Seven. Four. 13. You guys are about to kind of just, you know, continue on at the volume that you're at as you move into this bottom floor in space. But Chaus, you see a big red painted sign

that in all caps says, SHH! If your volume disturbs Dorcas, you will be thrown out. Uh-oh. Notoriously loud group coming in here. You again see all the walls are covered with those roots that hold the books,

but in one corner, there is a sleeping monster. It's like kind of part blowfish, but always blown up and has spikes coming out of its skin everywhere. And it's that mixed with like a little narc, like just like a little tattletale. But this thing is big and scary and looks like it will kill you. I guess first is investigation. Can we like search for where the encyclopedia would be? Sure. Oh man, nine.

I'm rolling terribly. Ooh, I got a natural 20. Oh my God. Beef, you're about to show off some night-night school skills. Some stuff has seeped in through osmosis and you can immediately tell that this room's in alphabetical order encyclopedias are pretty straightforward um and you see there's an a section a b section and so on and so forth is the m section close is it like on the floor is it

unfortunately no the m a section is in a pretty tough spot to reach it's about three giant like shelves up and a shelf would be like a person and a half tall. And there is, because you did roll a dirty 20 investigation, I'll give you this, but you do see... Oh, a nat 20! Then you definitely see this. So, before you were just going to kind of see this, now you're really

going to see it. Okay? It's a... There's a ladder on it. You know one of those Beauty and the Beast type ladders? Absolutely. But it does have a piece of parchment stuck to it that says, uh, there's a ladder on it. You know, one of those like beauty and the beast type ladders. Um, but it does have a piece of parchment stuck to it that says out of order. Oh, it looks perfectly fine though.

It looks perfectly fine. Okay. Well, sneaky beef. You want to maybe, I mean, this could be my bell moment. Do it.

Bonjour. Bonjour. Bonjour. Oh, sorry. You have to be quiet. It's actually a big part of it. It's mostly you not talking or singing.

How am I supposed to do the bell thing? Where'd you get that bread from? There's a baker. Seb takes off a baker's hat and puts it back in his bag. Yay. Okay, okay, okay beef puts the bread on his shoes to make him quieter okay brilliant okay yeah how's that feel sean okay yeah sean you gave me the bread so i'm using it um so yeah and then beef goes over and he slips under the out of order and goes up the ladder and gives Chip the, like, go ahead to push him to M.A.

Chip is going to, as quietly as he can, roll the ladder down to M.A. With this ladder being out of order, it gets jostled a little bit and that top rung of that ladder fully comes off. Beef, you come careening down towards the ground. And I try to catch him before he slams into the ground. Okay. Okay. Give me a athletics check. Okay.

Non-natural 20. Not dirty 20. Okay. You catch Beef right before he hits the ground. Now, the step did come out and it made some noise. So you hear a... In the corner. Was that Seb?

That's Dorcas and you're staring at Dorcas and Dorcas. Yeah, I know. That's why I said Seb. Wow, this is Ben. Wow. Wow. Okay, so that didn't work. Seb, what do you got? I'm glad that you asked.

I'm going to cast Misty Stank. I have an idea. Okay. I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking. That was so good. Thanks, babe. Just a joke. I missed you guys so much.

Oh my gosh. I miss you the most out of these three, but like, I miss you too. I go just outside the door and I just start smoking a cigarette. Beef joints smoking cigarettes. Hey man, you should probably do Misty Step. No, I'm going to. Yeah,

I was going to. Yeah, after they're done in there. We're done. We're done. We're done. We cut back five minutes. You guys are back inside and Seb, you're going to do Misty Step? Yes. Do you want to add anything to this, given what we know? I'm going to give Seb, my boy, I'm making you invisible.

I put my hand on you to make you invisible. And I give you a kiss on the cheek. And I whisper in your ear, you got this, buddy. Mist. You Misty Step to the third bookshelf, right? There are bookshelves above it as well. They are flush with the wall and it's all books. Like there's nowhere for you to stick in a pinky toe,

but you do misty step to an unoccupied space, which is right in front of that book. You're just standing on nothing. So like a cartoon who would hold up a sign that then says, uh-oh, that's the moment that you're at before you drop out of the sky 30 feet in the air. Put the sign away, grab the book. Yes, I used my bonus action

to put the sign away and grab the book. Okay, so you're going to try to yoink that book. Give me a dexterity check to try to yoink it before you fall out of the book. Okay, so you're going to try to yoink that book. Give me a dexterity check to try to yoink it before you fall out of the sky. And it's a natural 20. Oh, my goodness. There we go.

With a natural 20. You pop up there. You, Misty, step into that spot. You had your eye on that MA section. You kind of got it down to a couple books that it could be between. When you get up there, you have about a split second to yoink that thing.

And it was a high difficulty check. But with the Nat 20, you snagged that right out of the shelf. And you're coming down hard with it, though. Middle fingers up. Yeah, I'm just like saying F it. I don't care if we get caught now. Guess why is he invisible? Oh, no, we can't see him.

Oh, shit, yeah. Oh, yeah. Can we guess? Can all of us guess and try to catch him? Yeah. Okay. So how are you going to try to guess? Okay.

I can give you a straight up luck check unless you've got something that you're going to try to do that would actually help you. Well, we know. We know where. Hmm. Okay. Hold on. Yeah.

The general vicinity. We know the general vicinity. Does anybody have any powder? I can use Gust. I don't think it's that painful. Okay. Seb's coming crashing the ground. I didn't mean gust. I don't think it's nothing. Okay, Seb's coming crashing the ground. I'm doing what I said. I'm taking a book off the shelf that's dusty

and I'm blowing dust into the air to try and make sense of his outline. Okay, so that's what Chip does. Dust goes into the air. A gust of wind blows that dust out of the air. I didn't say I was going to. Beef puts out his arms, his little arms. It's just where he's standing.

All right, Beef, give me a luck check. Okay. That was such a good idea. I'm so sorry. Thanks, Beef. 17. I panicked. Beef stands in the general vicinity of where Seb would probably fall,

and Seb does fall right on top of Beef. And now I'm going to roll a luck check to see just how noisy this was. Yeah. Why did he have to be invisible? Okay. So Dorcas, you hear, and calms right back down into its usual snoring. We should try and make friends with that guy. I think he could be a good friend.

Oh, you want me to? I don't need you to go get another best friend, but if you want to, why not that guy? Yeah, you would like that, wouldn't you? And Beef kind of runs out of the room kind of upset. Yeah, I would like that, and I also run out of the room upset. Seb, do you know what happened to

Beef? Gus, are you serious? Gus? Okay. You would like that, wouldn't you? And Chalice runs out. Everyone's so upset because Beef's upset. I've been pouting all day. It's not even a big deal. No one makes it a big deal.

And Jennifer runs out upset. I'm just invisible. You just see a package of cigarettes just open. I just put it into my mouth. A little flame. Cut to next scene. No, that dorkus hate smoke wakes up, grabs Seb by the throat, kills him dead.

Hey, it's been fun, you guys. Have a great night. Dorkus throws Seb out of the room. And you guys are all back on the main floor at MB's desk. Hi, ladies. Oh, my best friends are back. Hi. Hi.

We need a recipe for romantic fertilizer. Not 100% sure what that means or where we can find it. Oh, greenhouse. You're going to want to go to the greenhouse. The greenhouse. Oh. That's fun. Yeah.

Third floor. And it'll be just past the make your own margarita craft. Oh. Okay. Let's try not to get distracted by that. Maybe on our way out. Actually, Embi, I did have another question for you, though. Yeah.

Well, shoot. You know, you told us earlier that the tree that Chris has like knowledge of all the books in here, and he's kind of making his run around this place to find the books that he apparently has all the knowledge of. I'm just curious if you have any idea what that's about. Yeah, he's just got an ego. He likes it when I say that. He knows a lot. He knows a lot, but he doesn't know everything.

Oh, okay. That's why we're here. Right, girls? And they all cheers each other. What was that? You guys do a little dance? Yeah, we do a little dance. It's fun to work here.

Hey, Chip? Yeah? Beef is over there skipping rocks on the ground of the library. Maybe go over there and talk to him for a second. He brought his... Those are his favorite rocks, and they're getting all over the place. Zero skips. Zero skips.

Chip walks over to Beef, gets hit by a rock in the shin. Ow! Hey, man, you're messing up my skip count. Zero skips. I'm sorry. Hey, you know what? How about we do some of this? And Chip uses message to talk to Beef.

Hey, since we're in the library, we may as well make it so just you and I can hear what we're talking about, right? Sure, but you gonna go tell Chalice everything that we talk about? I don't have to. Just because me and Chalice are figuring out where we're at doesn't mean that you and I have to change where we're at. You guys are going to be busy, and Chalice isn't going to want to have Thunder Buddy anymore. I guess you get to be her Thunder Buddy I guess now. Well, that word might have

its own meaning, but I think you can, in the way that you two are Thunder Buddies, you can continue to be Thunder Buddies. Beef, I don't know what happened while you were butlering or whatever, but I'm here for you, bud.

I don't want to talk about it oh then what do you want to do about it you want me to toss you and I go and I pick him up and I toss him in the air like and I don't stress it I can't stress this enough that he makes no facial Oh my god He's just stiff as a board And I'm tossing it like five times in the air What about this? I love this And then he kind of cracks a smile

And then And then he stays Man you know I can't resist the old baby toss Chalice and Seb look over As they're putting out their cigarettes And they're sort of smiling and nodding Man, you know I can't resist the old baby toss. Chalice and Seb look over as they're putting out their cigarettes, and they're sort of smiling and nodding, seeing that they're... You promise, man? You promise things are going to stay the same, even though they're different?

If things ever feel different, you just come talk to me, and I will break her heart. I promise you, okay? I promise you. Ch? I promise you. Does Chalice feel the same way? Because I feel as close to Chalice, and I'm worried she's... Hey, that's between you and Chalice, right? We're cutting this out for time, but then right now, Chalice has the exact same scene with Beef.

And she tosses him five times, and he's so pissed. And then he cracks a little. So the same thing happens right after this. You guys all as a group then beef kind of feeling a little bit better it sounds like a little bit you guys uh head up to the green room this one has more of like an organic-y feel there's a ton of foliage actually in this room and it's it's intermingling with uh the books themselves and this one isn't in alphabetical order you're trying to find books but you can't really make sense of it. You don't know what's going on.

And there doesn't seem to be an employee in here, but there's other folks in this screen room. Chalice picks a flower off from the wall and hands it to Chip. And then before she keeps going, she picks three more flowers and hands one to Jennifer, Beef, and Seb. Nobody's ever given Chip a flower before, so he eats it. And he winks at Chels. I'm gonna ask someone in the room who's walking with confidence how this room

works. Ooh, that guy for sure. Look at that stride. Oh, I don't actually, I don't work here. I'm sorry. No, we know. You look confident. Come on. Help us. How does this room work? We're surrounding him.

Oh. Well, this room's actually a little bit different. It's on the Dewey Decimator system. Okay. We don't know what that is or what that means. Oh, my God. Okay. I actually don't have a lot of time just to explain stuff to people.

I don't work here. I have my own story and things going on. So Dewey Decimator, he created his own system. It's super confusing. But if anybody argued against it, he'd decimate them. So good luck.

And he just puts a book into your chest. The cover just says dogs. And then under it, the library put on like a stamp that says 23, 12, 28. Rude. That guy was rudely confident.

Wrong kind of confidence. Yeah, wrong kind of confidence. B, if you use the alphabet, what's the 23rd letter of the alphabet now that you know it? Me? Okay. A is one. B is two. He actually handed you two books and underneath it, it says Cats as the title of the next

book. actually handed you two books and underneath it it says cats as the title of the next book and there's a code on it uh that's been stamped on that says 24 26 7 8 okay so cat so 26 well 26 is not z so 20 is 26 a oh it's alphabet backwards i see so sorry beef i kind of set you up for failure with that one so we are going to look up, should we look up fertilizer or? When you look up fertilizer, you find the book on fertilizer by using a Dewey Decimator system. There's only one book.

As of right now, it's the all-encompassing book on fertilizer, and there is a section for romantic fertilizer that you flip open too quickly, and you've got what you need. Huzzah! Dang it, it's in French. We go to the French section. We translate it.

We all head out for a time. We write a new book. We publish this book. It's in my language. All right, we're back at the tree. Yeah, we go all the way up to the top to talk to Mr. Robbins. You did it. Yeah.

We did. Yeah. Yes, sir. I'm so happy. I thought he was going to say proud. Now we go to see if she likes me. Yeah, but Mr. Ovens, we've kind of been up and down and around this place, and we noticed you're four stories down, planted all the way deep down into this spot

i don't know how we're gonna move you about this is this is where you are this is where you live yeah you hear a and a pine cone falls off the tree and right into your open hands you catch it like the cover of a twilight book gorgeous did you just poop on me it's me that is me look at my face is on this now whoa yes poop talks trees no i have a very different voice from jennifer trees that are around this long have their ability to divert their consciousness into multiple structures at once multiple living things holy. Holy cow. Okay. Cool. So now I'm here. And I'm still here.

But you have a face on this. You don't have a face. That's a good point, Talos. Yes, I do. Whoa, there it is. Oh my god. It's the same size. It's so small. It's so tiny. It's so small. Hard to so tiny. It's so small.

Hard to locate. Yeah. Yeah, you've got the three things, right? Let's go quarter. Well, don't you need to make the fertilizer? Is that part of it, or are you just going to give her the recipe? I feel like we can kind of make it on the way. Is it hard?

Is it long? It's in French. No, we'll go now. We'll figure it out. Let's figure it out. Let's go now. Let's go now. Yeah, we'll figure it out on the way. So as we're walking over, we'll go now. We'll figure it out. Let's figure it out. Let's go now. Let's go now. Yeah, we'll figure it out on the way.

So as we're walking over, we make the fertilizer. We quiz Chris on all the different magnolias. And then he practices the poem on us. And we all are crying. And it's beautiful. And it's wonderful. And it's romantic. And then we make our way to the magnolia.

You're about to crest a hill that will put you in view of the Magnolia. I'm so nervous. I'm so nervous. Okay, we've got everything that we need. I'm just going to be myself. I'm going to give him some of my bard inspiration. Closer. I'm getting there.

Bardic. Bardic inspiration. All right. And I haven't done any spells today so I'm just gonna disguise myself and I look the same but I have a mustache. So that's because I have spells now I want to use one.

I thought you were gonna maybe give him a spell. No I don't really have anything. That makes sense. Yeah I could put him to sleep. I could stab him with a knife. Yeah. Maybe in a couple seasons. Yeah. You guys round the bend, and it is kind of golden hour.

Chris clears his little pinecone throat in your hands. Hi. I don't know if you recognize me. I am of the tree. One of my embodiments is, the center of the library over there. And I've been, um, noticing you. Uh, that's, I've been noticing you for a while and I just wanted to introduce myself and

see, well, I wondered if you would be open to me potentially courting you and setting up, um, a tree nearby to get to know you better and I brought some stuff. And he like, one of his little, you know like pine cones are made up of hundreds of little flaps. One of them kind of like panic beckons for you guys to like kind of issue stuff forward.

I open the poem in front of him. Do the poem, do the poem. Okay, can you read it? Can I read it? Yes! Babe, you should. Do the poem. Okay, can you read it? Can I read it? Yes. Babe, you should. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I look down and I can't understand the language.

I didn't realize that it was in a language that I didn't understand. Just sound it out. Just sound it out. No, I have to just make one up. Then why did we get the book? This thing is nuts. Love, right? This thing is nuts.

Love, right? Sometimes you spend a couple seasons with a person that you've always had feelings for and you never knew how to show it. But it turns out maybe you should have just opened up your heart and see if they return the feelings back. Amen. Amen. Fertilizer, fertilizer,ilizer! Fertilizer! Chalice opens the recipe book and sort of props it up

and goes like, if you ever want to make this, this is the recipe. We sort of tried. I thought we were making it on the way! Yeah, but mostly you just poop, and none of us had to poop. We tried. Remember when Beef tried for a long time and then just let out the longest

little fart? And then what's that? Magnolia. Magnolia. Say something about the picture. Come on. The picture. Say something.

Give me something that I would know about her. They bloom in spring. Oh, and since spring is coming up, I thought maybe it'd be a good time for a relationship to bloom. There's a long silence and then a gentle wind comes through the branches of the magnolia. And the pinecone kind of gasped. She just told me her name. What is it? What is it?

She said her name's Maggie. It's the most beautiful name I've ever heard. I was going to say chalice, but yeah, yeah, it's beautiful. Oh my god! And you watch that his eyes are just like, his little tiny eyes are big as saucers when they're seeing her branches move in the wind. She said it's okay if I was planted nearby and we got to know each other. Oh my gosh!

That's huge, man! That's huge! Chalice starts digging a hole next to him. Plop me in there! Pl's huge, man! That's huge! Chalice starts digging a hole next to him. Plop me in there! Plop me in there! Chalice puts Jennifer in there by accident, but instead buries her alive, have to unbury her, puts the pine cone in.

Okay, thanks, guys. You just plop me in and throw some dirt over me? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We haven't gotten what we need from you. Oh, right, right, right, right. So I was thinking about it, like what you guys described. Can you tell me anything else about like this tree

or like what happened when the curse happened? The water turned red in the blood. And he said, if we don't get a drop of blood, oh wait, no, that's- Oh yeah, they pulled blood from our neck or something. They like pricked. Okay, well- That's relevant?

Yes, for sure. Okay, so it sounds like, yeah, the tree that was involved in your curse is probably of the famile variety. Type E, most likely. Yeah, very powerful base for a curse. Clever, clever. Okay. Well, I'm sorry, but nothing can break a curse made by a tree such as this. Oh, come on.

Why didn't you look again? Except for the tree itself, of course. Oh, the tree itself can break the curse? Mm-hmm. But in order to be sure of the specifics of the curse in question here, I'll need you all to spit on me. Deal. Immediately spit all four of us as fast as anybody's ever spat on anything. Really thought I was going to get pushed back here.

Okay. I just need a bit of your essence to explore this curse fully because it is in your body and your blood but spit's just easier. So here we go. Jennifer, stop trying to spit on him. See if I'm maybe I got some residual curse. No, I think you're good. Is that contagious, Jennifer? Is it contagious?

You look down at Chris and his eyes kind of roll back and it's just all white now. And it's his old voice kind of mixed with this new voice now. To save you from an early hearse, familial love can break this curse. You see a family tree. subclass E, responds to blood from family.

But if you wish to foil this fate, let blood not shed too soon, too late. To save you from this act of treason, it must be sunset, end of season. A huge gust of wind explodes kind of from the pine cone and everything settles down again and his eyes come back. Whoa! So just in case anyone, I'm not saying I did, got bored while you were talking about that, what does that mean? Cliff notes, please.

I think it just means like for the cursed, you know, a family member of the cursed who truly loves them must willingly spill their blood into the water of the family tree during the last sunset of the season. Does that make sense? Yeah, that makes sense.

Yeah, that's going to be hard. Oh God, no one loves me. I got a big family. I'm good. What about you? You guys good? No, I've been described as unlovable. So you met my family and they're the worst.

Beef? Your family sucks. Beef? Who knows? Doesn't know. Doesn't know his family. Pigs, not family. God, we're dead.

They toss the pine cone back into that hole and they walk away. You land him like one foot just shy of the hole. He's like, ah! Sitcom D&D is comprised of Elizabeth Andrews, Ben Briggs, Aaron Keefe, Waleed Mansour, and me, Sean Coyle. Arnie Parrot wrote the theme song,

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