Small Town Murder - #67 - A Very Beloved & Dead Couple in Bellevue, Idaho
Episode Date: May 3, 2018This week, we are LIVE at Zanies in Nashville, where we check out the town of Bellevue, Idaho, where regular family issues swelled out of control, in a short amount of time, resulting in shoc...king brutality, and an unlikely killer!! Along the way, we find out just how many sheep can possibly go through one town, why you can't trust anyone who offers you their bathing suit, and where not to throw out vital evidence of your participation in a double murder!! Hosted by James Pietragallo & Jimmie Whisman New episodes every Thursday!!Please subscribe, rate, and review!Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts!Head to shutupandgivememurder.com for all things Small Town Murder!For merchandise: crimeinsports.threadless.comCheck out James and Jimmie's other show: Crime in Sports Follow us on social media!Facebook: facebook.com/smalltownpodInstagram: instagram.com/smalltownmurderTwitter: twitter.com/MurderSmall Contact the show: crimeinsports@gmail.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This week, live from Nashville, we look at the affluent town of Bellevue, Idaho, where
typical family problems led to not-so-typical family murders.
Welcome to Small Town Murder Live!
Live!
Yay!
Thank you so much!
Oh, fuck!
We love this shit!
Holy shit!
Thank you!
Shit!
Wow!
Thank you so much, Nashville!
Yes!
Oh, man! Hospitality in the South, we fucking love it! Thank you so much, Nashville. Yes. Oh, man.
Hospitality in the South.
We fucking love it.
Thank you so much.
Coming out to Small Town Murder live.
Oh, man. You guys are the best.
Thank you for being here.
Big shouts to Jesse and Drew for making this show possible.
Yes.
Thank you to everybody here at the club.
A few of you recognize that and don't know why.
Here's why you recognize it. James is fucking
stoned thanks to those two. And it's because of them.
And that's fucking great.
A better show for you because of that.
Trust me. Every single time.
Well, we had an interesting one.
I'll tell you why it's great.
We've been working hard just for me
to get stoned. You don't understand. It's so
difficult. Jimmy, tell them the indignity you get stoned. You don't understand. It's so difficult.
Jimmy, tell them the indignity you suffered doing this. I wandered up and down your Broadway, which is bullshit.
Yeah.
I wandered up and down that joint because I figured there's tons of people here.
Somebody's got weed for my James.
No, nobody's got weed for my James.
So I asked so many bartenders, who's holding, how do I get weed?
And they all looked at me and were like, not that white guy.
Don't sell weed to that white guy.
Weren't very helpful, we'll say.
So then I did the most racist thing I've ever done.
And I found a lone teenager who happened to be black, and...
And when we say teenager, we're talking like 14, not 17.
14.
Absolutely 14 years old.
And he is leaning against one of your do-not-park-here places,
counting money, and I said,
you, sir, are counting money for a bad purpose.
And I said, what are you holding?
And he goes nah
man i like to play the tops and i was like i don't know what the fuck that means and he goes
what do you need yeah he knew that
and i said i like to get a little bit of weed and he said i know a man i said i know you know a man
show me where he is he says he's around back. So I went around Dierks Bentley's fucking place,
and there was that same little 14-year-old
digging in his nuts for his bag of weed.
To which he pulls out a giant sack of weed
and goes, you got baggies?
I was like, you're the drug dealer, man.
What the fuck are you talking about?
He goes, hold out your hands.
And I trick-or-treated a black kid
out of his ball bag right out of his ball bag for 30 dollars worth of weed and then i called
james and i go you're not gonna believe this shit and then i smoked it and it's fucking terrible
awful weed so he smoked weed out of a child's underwear, and here we are.
So if you get anything out of a child's underwear,
it's not good at all.
Let's just say that.
Nothing is good in a child's underwear.
You don't want any of that.
Stay out of a kid's drawer.
Do that.
Thank you for coming so, so much.
Unbelievable.
This is amazing.
We're going to get started.
We have to do the disclaimer for a reason.
Don't you boo it yet.
Don't boo yet. First of all, we're going to release this as an episode, so we have to do the disclaimer for a reason. Don't you boo it yet. Don't boo it yet.
First of all, we're going to release this as an episode,
so we have to do it that way.
This is coming out tomorrow, this episode.
So that's cool.
So shout it out.
Let them hear how good Nashville is.
And second of all, because there's always people who drag other people
who've never heard this shit,
and they're going to be fucking horrified if we don't say this.
So there's a couple of reasons.
Who are they?
Yeah, who are the people here?
There's some versions over there.
Yeah, not a lot of them.
Damn, some are mostly hardcore.
But see here, a few.
Fucking amazing.
This is a comedy show.
It's a comedy show.
We do say horrible shit.
We do.
We talk about murder And dismemberment possibly
And all sorts of horrible things
And we're gonna make jokes about it
We will
We absolutely are
But here's what we do here
We try not to make jokes
At the expense of the victims
Or the victims' families
Because we're assholes
But
But we're not scumbags
Exactly
That's true
So
That said You're all in the car too
We're on the way to the liquor store
If the tiny Korean woman's brains
Should end up on the Marlboros
And the cheap vodka behind the counter
You're all just as responsible as we are
Fucking guilty
That said
I think there's only one more thing to do
I know what you're thinking.
Shut up and give me murder!
Oh, fuck, I love it.
Oh, man.
You guys are making me not want to fucking go home after all.
I'm pretty sure that's how Hitler started.
I think so. It's scary.
Let's go on a trip, Jimmy.
What do you say? I'm on the road.
We know we're packed up. Can we go the fuck back home yet?
We're going home tomorrow.
So we're definitely on the road.
We're going all the way to Idaho.
That's a far one.
All the way to Bellevue, Idaho, as a matter of fact.
There's a picture of the sign.
Lovely.
Something about sawtooths on the sign.
So right there.
There's downtown Bellevue.
So you got that going.
It's booming metropolis.
It is right there.
That was a Dakota.
He didn't even have a Dodge Ram.
That's depressing.
That's the whole town right here.
Holy shit.
And a thing here.
It's as we can see.
That is their mayor.
Are you done yet, Ed?
Jesus Christ.
Hurry up.
That was taken last week.
Just to give you an updated version
of what we're doing here.
As we can see, it is right here.
It's right in the middle of the pan.
So no fucking excuses.
No pan handle.
That is a dick looking county though.
Dick and balls.
I mean honestly, when you drew that out
somebody in the meeting had to go
come on guys.
Can we shave the head off at least
so it's not so...
Bet you can buy a lot of weed down there.
Yeah, you probably can.
It's like an 8-bit Sega Genesis pixelated cock.
That's what it looks like.
And balls, for that matter.
Japanese porn dick.
That's right.
Japanese porn dick.
It's 2 hours and 10 minutes to Boise, as we can see here.
About four hours to Salt Lake City.
And in the middle of fucking nowhere, as we can tell.
Nothing there whatsoever.
It's in Blaine County.
So get excited about that.
I know you are.
We've all been dying to go there.
Elevation's almost 5,200 feet.
Okay.
So this is basically like, you know, mile high.
This is Denver height
Lack of oxygen might be a reason
For some of the behavior we encounter
I'm not sure it's possible
Here's Bald Mountain
I don't know it's covered in trees
I don't know why it's Bald Mountain
But the top has nothing
That's true
It's kind of like me
I've got an unbelievable beard on my shoulder It true. It's kind of like me. The hairy back and a tennis ball top.
I got an unbelievable beard on my shoulder.
It's good.
It's growing well.
You have like a Jufro on your shoulder.
Right, on my back.
It's excellent.
I get it.
You look like Welcome Back Cotter.
I look like a young Fred Savage on my back.
That's what it looks like.
87 Fred Savage.
Little Monsters Fred Savage.
Oh, wow.
Killing it.
Not even Wonder Years.
I like it.
Little Monsters Fred Savage.
Not even Wonder Years. I like it.
Zip code 83313.
It doesn't matter if I got that wrong.
They don't give a shit, but whatever.
I don't think they're sending anything there.
They're like, no, that's not the zip code.
Area code 208.
It is 1.51 square miles all on land.
Not a fucking drop of water as we saw there.
Nothing.
No one has a puddle in their yard big enough to measure.
Nothing at all.
Motto, would you like a potato?
Because we have potatoes.
That's the town seal, actually, right there.
It's a loaded baked potato.
I'm kidding.
It's not that.
It's actually tater tots.
They're much more proud of that.
It's pure.
There's nothing else in it to clog it up. No sour cream or bacon that doesn't come from the area.
Actually, let's see here.
The actual, they have an actual town motto.
I love that.
And it is built on a vision,
hard work, resourcefulness, and family.
Just cover it all.
Just built on everything.
Hard work.
But somebody came back and was like,
don't forget family.
What are you doing?
Don't forget about that.
Somebody sit down and go, look,
everybody lists the qualities of this town.
They all had a list of 300 things and they whittled it down to three and then they're like, fuck, and they couldn't agree.
So now it's four.
And family.
Put that on there.
The county motto also. I love the competing
town and county mottos. Get your shit together. Everybody have the The county motto also. I love the competing town and county vinyls.
Get your shit together.
Everybody have the same fucking motto here.
The same fucking team.
Yes.
Play on the same team.
County motto.
At the heart of central Idaho's great outdoors, we also have potatoes.
Seriously, can we get you a potato?
Maybe some fries.
Don't forget, y'all.
We got families, too.
And family.
And family.
This place was founded by prospectors.
So it was founded by drunks and thieves that were looking for whores.
That's what it was founded by.
Prostitutes and horrible people and robbers.
It's basically Deadwood.
You haven't seen Deadwood, I know for a fact.
Or The Wire or any other fucking show
that I beg you to watch.
You won't see it.
I understand that.
That's fine.
Other people have.
I'm trying so hard.
Ah, yeah, yeah.
It was in 1862.
It was a mining town boom.
It was like Tombstone or any of those towns.
Silver was a big deal there. The first
permanent settlers, because those are transients,
the miners, they go wherever
shit is. They literally
hear, I heard, over the
hill. It's a good point.
Three guys found a nugget and they pick all
their shit up and move. Everybody
go now!
At the same time. So that's what
happened there, basically.
The first permanent settlers were farmers because they actually settled down.
That's not a transi. They're like, I heard they got
zucchini over the hill and you run with
all your oxen that way.
I've heard there's Idaho golds
over there.
Oh, shit. Maybe that's what it was.
Basically here,
that brought in a large, all the mining and everything brought in a large influx.
A lot of immigrants, a lot of Irish,
Welsh, German, and Chinese, obviously.
Of course.
Yeah.
You still like cheap labor.
That's what I mean.
I don't care what.
And they're small.
You can push them down to the mines like we've talked about.
Convince them that you can fit.
It's fine.
The Irish are charging how much?
Get Wang over here. Yeah, let's go. It's fine. The Irish are charging how much? Get Wang over here.
Yeah, let's go.
Let's do it.
What are we talking about?
Held to it for nothing and freedom.
We'll call it freedom.
We'll call it freedom.
But cover the mind.
Don't let them out at all.
Call it whatever you want.
Do whatever you want down there, Wang.
Anything.
All right, Wang.
So, these towns,
Bellevue, Haley, they grew out of this.
There was gold and then silver became their main deal.
And lead. Some people were like,
fuck it, we'll take any goddamn metal
that comes out of the ground,
whether it's worth shit or not, I don't care.
Let's do it. So they took in lead,
they took in everything.
This was the fastest growing area for a while.
And then it moved, like in Tombstone, too.
We've all seen Tombstone.
We're like, that's going to be as big as San Francisco next year.
Very cosmopolitan.
Very cosmopolitan.
Exactly.
And just as sophisticated, too.
Until it gunfighting runs.
That's great.
That's a great fucking movie.
Moving on.
So, yeah, the first electric lights came in here
by the Philadelphia Mining Company
in 1883. So people
were like, oh, there's lights now. That's something.
That's just like, what the hell town was that?
Sunbury? Pennsylvania.
It was the same thing. This was like the next year.
Then it just spread everywhere.
It took a year for that shit to get to Idaho?
Have you been to Idaho, Jimmy?
It takes way longer for shit to get there now.
And we have the internet.
They just found out about Seinfeld.
I was going to say,
if you hear that Nirvana album, that's good.
I bet that Kurt Cobain fella
is going to make so many good albums.
He's going to be a hero.
He is the next Bob Dylan.
He's still going to be a star 30 years from now.
Speaks to my flannel wearing soul exactly
so they put it in the blaine county courthouse uh this was taken three weeks ago uh this right here
it's very doing very well uh the mining was a big deal then and also when the mining started to go
there were still some farmers and then they started bringing in sheep. Sheep became the main economic driving force.
This is a town built on sheep.
I just said that.
What the fuck is going on here in this town?
By 1900, more than 2 million sheep had been raised here.
Like 8,000 people had been through there,
and 2 million sheep.
So shit is backwards.
Then they got like a golden S with like one billion, two billion served.
They're just counting them like McDonald's.
Like the guy who erases the sign in the movies.
He's like, oh, I can't keep up with these goddamn sheep.
Slow down with the sheep.
My chalk ran out.
Oh, damn it, Jesus.
So between 1910 and 1920, more than a million head of sheep were brought through the area,
making Ketchum, which is right nearby.
This was like the largest sheep shipping center in the United States at the time,
outside of a couple of big cities on the east and west coast.
The construction of the Sun Valley Resort started in 1936.
This is the Sun Valley Resort.
Jesus Christ.
So this is basically The Shining.
Yeah.
I assume. I don't know. That's how I would is basically The Shining. Yeah. I assume.
I don't know. That's what
that's how I would feel about it if it was me.
It's a little frightening. The
courtyard and the check-in station
doesn't match the double-wide
interior of the rest of that shit.
Not at all.
This shit looks fantastic and then they're like
fucking wood the rest of it because
we're over budget
on the pond.
It was probably aluminum siding
until the early 90s, so I don't feel bad.
But this, when they built
this, then rich people started to come here.
This became like, you know, like when Vegas
first started, rich people would go there. This was like
the Aspen of its time type of deal.
There's a lot of skiing. There's mountains.
Like we said, bald mountains.
So they'd come and stay at this resort.
And it was like, you know, it was a status thing.
We're going to Bellevue, Idaho.
We're catching the resort, Sun Valley,
wherever the fuck it is.
I hate those people.
Exactly.
Me too.
So it became a huge deal for skiers, the whole deal.
But they just made up a name.
They started calling this area Sun Valley
because they brought in a marketing guy and said, how can we
get dumb rich people to spend all their fucking money here?
Like, we gotta call
it something that'll make their dumber, richer
friends back home jealous when they go back.
And they're like, how about Sun Valley?
And they're like, it's Idaho.
Sun isn't really what we're
known for. How about the Potato
Basin? Beautiful.
That didn't work. No potato basin.
Sun Valley. So they called it that
and then they hired, like they did in Vegas,
they would hire a couple celebrities
to come up and get a picture of them on skis.
That's in a magazine. And then people go,
oh, that's where the celebrities go. And then you get
dumb rich people who aren't famous
doing that shit. Maybe we'll see Sonny Bono
die. Let's go there.
We want to see him die, damn it.
This is the tree he wrapped himself around
right here. Oh, fuck. It's beautiful.
Put a plaque on it and everything.
We mined that
lead out of the old mountain
and now we've got a permanent
memory. You can see the imprint of his
earmuff hair that he had over his
ears. If you look close enough, you can
see half his mustache still
embedded. It's still there.
It's petrified. We're keeping it
for future generations.
We're working on a Jurassic Park
to clone him.
So it's in the Wood River Valley,
which is like near 18
miles away from the Sun Valley.
It's in Ketchum, the Sun Valley Resort.
It was explored first by a fur trader in 1824
named Alexander Ross.
Jesus.
Look at this fucker.
He looks like fucking Vigo from Ghostbusters 2.
Doesn't he?
Yeah.
Let's find out.
Fuck yeah.
Go.
Boom.
Go back.
There you go. Bingo. It's the same fucking guy. Holy back. There you go.
Bingo.
It's the same fucking guy.
Holy shit.
I'm sorry.
Amazing, right?
If that painting oozes, I'm running.
That's what I'm saying, man.
Fuck it.
Look at that shit.
Look at it.
It's insane.
It's perfect.
It's the same guy.
It's like him a little more tired, older.
He's like, I'm tired of terrorizing
museums. Fuck this. I'm going to retire
to Idaho. Looks like they painted that
in the middle of a very angry blowjob.
Thank you. That's amazing. Jesus.
I don't like this at all.
Stop dragging
your teeth. Stop it.
He looks like he's
buying weed off a 14-year-old.
Was that in your ball bag?
No.
Hold out my hands? What?
Jimmy bought dirt weed from a teenager's nutsack.
That is amazing.
Thank you, Jimmy.
That is illegal on so many levels.
That's a good friend, man.
I did it for you.
I gotta say, thank you. This just made me think of Ghostbusters 2. Yes, ah, they're amazing is illegal on so many levels. That's a good friend, man. I did it for you. I gotta say, thank you.
This just made me think of Ghostbusters 2.
Yeah.
By the way, if we were the Ghostbusters,
you would have to be the acroid, I'm sorry.
Because A, I'm more sarcastic than you,
and B, you would take a blowjob from a ghost.
I know you fucking would.
I know you would.
I could see it right now.
You'd be like, it was a ghost, but
I mean, is that really? That's not bad.
She didn't drag her teeth. It was wonderful.
He'd be like, fuck it,
me too. I didn't ask for it.
Sorry, I couldn't help myself there.
Jesus Christ.
That's my favorite part of this whole tour so far.
Just so you know, that was amazing.
This is what I do at 4 o'clock in the morning.
You have like arguments with yourself?
Would he or would he not take a homer from a ghost?
He has no idea what I'm doing, so I'm like,
how can I surprise the shit out of him in a live show?
It's great.
So it settled the town.
Bellevue settled and chartered in 1882
for this whole deal. It's a mile-wide
stretch of land that they're like, just as we
saw between the mountains, they're like, well, that looks useless.
Just slap some town there. People who
can work at the fucking resort, basically.
The bunch of mines
here they had at the time, Keystone, Antelope,
Big Camas, the Phoenix Mine,
the Paymaster Mine. Why are you going
anywhere else? One is called the Paymaster. That's the one. Go to that one first. Yeah, try that first. Antelope, Big Camas, the Phoenix Mine, the Paymaster Mine. Why are you going anywhere else? One is called the Paymaster.
That's the one.
Go to that one first.
Fuck Phoenix.
Yeah, try that first.
Antelope?
No, thank you.
I got one called Paymaster.
Master.
I'm in.
Silver Tide?
That sounds like a whole fucking wave of silver.
That sounds wonderful there.
They also noticed that the soil is good for fruit growing up there, too.
So it was like they figured it out.
Between 1890s, there was a big crash in the silver market,
and basically that kind of ruined the town for a while,
and it kind of dipped until the resort was built.
Got it.
Yeah, they pretty much fucked that over here.
They did have two newspapers by 1880, so that's something.
Two of them?
Two newspapers, I assume, fighting and salacious stories. They got a Fox and a CNN in a town. That's awesome. That's something. Two of them. Two newspapers, I assume fighting and salacious stories.
They got a Fox and a CNN in a town.
That's awesome. That's what it is, yeah.
They also, it was the county seat
of Logan County at the
time. They carved a bit out of it for
Blaine County and made that.
Then they had a huge,
this is amazing, they had a huge
fire in the business district in
1905.
So many of our towns are destroyed by a fire at one point in time.
It's always 1905.
I don't know what the fuck it is about 1905.
People were just morons in 1905.
Because this guy, this is lack of oxygen. It has to be from the elevation.
A bartender from a place called Seymour's Saloon. Yeah. This asshole was investigating
a possible gas leak
with a lit match.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
And burned the fucking town to the ground.
I smell gas.
What the...
That is panhandle behavior.
It is.
Sorry, that's amazing.
Bugs Bunny has saved more lives than...
Yeah.
Even I know.
You don't...
No one.
Get a flashlight, dipshit.
That's insane.
Well, it's whatever it was there, but this is ridiculous.
To investigate it, in 1957, the town was blown up pretty much.
There was a giant...
Eight tons of dynamite and 56 rounds of artillery shells accidentally detonated.
What the fuck?
On the edge of town.
Accidentally detonated.
Again, just, what is it?
Oh, shit, there's a lot of dynamite.
Boom.
What the fuck is going on?
Bugs Bunny, everything is after this town.
This is the town.
Fucking amazing.
Did the coyote and the roadrunner live here?
Is that what it is?
I believe the coyote was the first mayor of the town.
It was originally run by the Acme Corp.
That's what happened.
Every window in town broke from this.
It shattered every window in town.
Can you imagine getting yelled at for that?
Oh, my God.
I broke a window with a baseball when I was like nine.
I never heard the end of it.
It was like a $40 window.
Not every town's window.
Every fucking window in town here.
They had in 1971 a huge Woodstock knockoff concert,
the Wood River Rock Festival.
Jesus Christ.
They even had the word wood in there,
and they're like, maybe we can fool them.
They're stoned, them hippies.
They'll come up here.
They don't know the fucking difference.
We'll tell them potatoes get you high.
What year was it?
1971.
Oh, so just after.
They just heard about it from 69 in Idaho.
Took two years to get there.
They're in mud playing music, shitting on each other.
Shit, we got all that.
You shit on yourself all over the place.
Get Janice's ass over here.
She was dead by then.
They didn't know yet.
It took two years. Thank you. Good call.
They probably still don't know.
Oh, God.
We're becoming like some weird fucking brother act.
It's bizarre.
It really is weird.
I've got to be honest with you.
So they had this in Slaughterhouse Gulch, which is...
That's right.
Sounds festive, doesn't it?
That's where you want to have a festival.
It was plagued by bad sound equipment, freezing cold weather, you know, because it's fucking Idaho.
Right.
Inadequate facilities.
They had like no bathroom.
So they were shitting all over each other.
Hardly anybody showed up to shit on each other.
And what happened was what they called a plague of grasshoppers came through.
Yes.
Yes.
You're sitting in a cold in a field, freezing cold, covered in your own shit.
And then here come the grasshoppers.
Holy fuck.
And they stick to you.
They're sticking to the shit.
Can't tell if it's corn grasshoppers or fuck.
Jesus.
All right.
Sorry.
That was gross.
There is some weird information that I found on this town
that I've never found such detailed information,
but it's so stupid I feel I have to share it with you.
We'll call these all the Sahara Desert
Fart Facts of the Week here.
This is
local farmer
Dave Markham lost his
llama named Dagwood
to mountain lions
in 1998.
So we have that happening.
I don't know why
anybody needed to tell
the press about that.
His name, D-A-G.
Write it down.
Guy's like, yeah, whatever. Dagwood.
Did you say you had a llama,
sir? Is that what you said?
It got eaten by mountain lions.
D-A, write it down.
Dagwood.
How are you still living here?
That's my next question.
Do you have children and are you raising them near said mountain lions?
I had children.
Did I tell you about Dagwood?
tell you about Dagwood.
D.
Ah, fuck.
Another farmer named Bill Sherbine was named Idaho
Barley Grower of the Year
in 2004.
And received $500
as a reward in a trip to the Coors
Brewing Company in Golden, Colorado.
How insulting.
Good for him.
To be Barley Grower of the Year
and then go to the place that allows you
to see how they do it for free.
Congratulations.
That's right.
But I got to try the new recipe of Blue Moon.
I gotta do it.
Have you tried it?
It tastes like shit.
That's what it is.
It tastes like shit.
Blue Moon, fuck you, Coors.
Yeah.
I'll take it. I'll second that.
Barbiturus beer.
Our show today is sponsored by Miller.
It's not at all sponsored.
Brought to you by Miller Flat.
It's actually not.
It's actually not.
Don't give them credit.
It's not.
It's not.
Those fuckers can buy an ad if they want one.
So anyway.
Not that Podcast One would sell them one, you cocksuckers.
So moving on.
God damn it.
I love you people.
I know.
You're the best.
In 2009, starting...
Well, they've always had some corruption problems, we'll call it.
They had some issues with public officials.
Starting in 2009, their city clerk, Lacey
Ann Lohmiller, was saying...
Woo!
There she is. She's here.
Her name's Lacey. She did not cheer
for government or clerks.
She cheered for all those in the party
of Lacey. That's what she cheered for.
Well, Lacey was sentenced to
180 days in jail.
Yeah, Lacey. Well, Lacey was sentenced to 180 days in jail. Yeah, Lacey.
After being convicted of embezzling almost $14,000 from the city.
Holy shit.
Yeah, it's not that big of a city to be embezzling $14,000 from.
That's the least of their concerns, though.
Their former mayor, John Anderson, here, we'll look at him here.
Looks like a nice guy, right?
Yeah, let's find out about him.
He was mayor for five years before resigning.
A bug just flew my shit.
Before resigning in shame in 2010
after he was arrested for drunken driving
in Lincoln County for the second time.
His first year of being mayor,
he was also arrested, 2005.
That's his work desk.
Is that a bottle of vodka?
That's what it looks like.
It's a bottle of Tito's on his desk is what it fucking looks like.
It should be because he's always drunk.
He said he resigned because of family and health issues,
but he also in 2011 pleaded guilty to a charge of felony driving under the influence.
He was really fucking hammered.
And he could face at this point up to 10 years in prison. Sweet Christ. guilty to a charge of felony driving under the influence. He was really fucking hammered. And yet to be...
And he could face at this point up to
ten years in prison. Sweet Christ.
Because of two previous DUI convictions.
So this is number three for him.
That's not the worst of it.
Then in 2012,
he committed a murder-suicide.
Shooting his wife Linda Vaughn with a shotgun
before putting it in his own mouth
and blowing his fucking brains out.
Oh my God.
So, yeah.
Sweet Pete.
Not great.
He was like rattling off the things that Idaho has
and then he got to the thing and he was like,
but fuck my family.
Boom.
Done.
I don't like them.
His vote was for only three things, to be honest.
Why do we have to enjoy family?
I'm going to fucking end them all.
Notable people in this town.
We have a guy named Walt Doan.
All right.
Who looks like a fucking mutant.
Look at this guy.
Looks like a circus freak or some shit.
I don't know what the hell is wrong with his eyes.
He looks like if he closed his collar,
his head would disappear.
Yeah, it does.
It looks like half of a circumcision.
Looks like they just filleted the foreskin
and laid it back.
I have a confession to make.
I am actually a penis.
I'm very sorry.
Somehow this penis played professional baseball in 1909 and 1910.
He looks thrilled about it.
He does.
He looks like a drip, this guy.
He played for the Cleveland Naps.
He pitched 22.7 innings and posted a 5.56 earned run average.
They called the Naps because they all look like
they're about to take one? Jesus Christ.
We have Caitlin
Farrington, who is an
Olympic gold medalist in women's
halfpipe snowboarding in Sochi
in 2014.
She's also from here. She's smiling because
she never has to go back to Idaho now.
I can go anywhere.
I've had my last potato, y'all.
So this place here, in 1930, they had 375 people.
In 1970, they had 537 people.
Slow growth.
Right now, 2,300 people in this town.
So not a lot of people. Like $14,000 is a lot of money to steal, 2,300 people in this town. So not a lot of people.
Like $14,000 is a lot of money to steal from 2,300 people.
For sure.
That's plenty.
Populations up 81% since 1990
when people just started fleeing the East Coast like crazy.
As I'm sure if you're from Nashville,
you've had a lot of people with New York accents
invade you in the last 30 years or so.
As you know, my father moved to North Carolina.
We don't belong here.
They come here anyway.
You don't want us here.
We don't understand what's going on.
It's very awkward.
But your land is cheap, so we'll be here.
We'll be here.
That's right, goddammit.
Median age in this town is 31 1⁄ half, which is six years younger than the normal.
More males than females,
which there's some outdoor work, and that's why.
Anytime you're going to get anything like that,
you're going to get more males,
you're going to get younger people like that.
Married population, though, is higher than the average,
which is weird.
It's 58%, which is very strange.
So it's not a real town to go swinging,
you know what I mean?
Or single, no children. Unless you're into that shit. Unless you're into mean? Or single no children.
Unless you're into that shit.
Single no children averages about 10%.
Okay.
We have to make note of that.
Holy shit.
I have never seen that before.
A man was just carried
out of here unconscious.
He was not in good shape.
So please tell me that that man is okay. He was not in good shape.
Please tell me that that man is okay.
He's actually the subject
of our show today.
He was killed by a person in this room
and we're all going to find out who.
Surprise, it's not a podcast.
It's a murder mystery.
You're all going to get 12 sheets
of paper and they'll be
serving you in courses.
I'm horrified.
I am horrified.
All right.
I'm glad that happened before the story started.
I've never seen a waitress in tears in a comedy club.
They have seen some shit.
And they've seen comics with their dicks out.
They have.
Plenty.
They have, definitely.
That is not good.
There is no more tears, motherfuckers.
That is not good There is no more tears, motherfuckers
We are gonna continue this shit
Could you just play Enter Sandman again
And we'll start over
Just kidding, don't actually
It's like eight minutes long
We'll be here forever
So I'm gonna pay that man's co-pay
That's what I'm gonna do
And we're gonna move on
Let's go
Lucky part is we don't have any jokes
In the next couple minutes Nothing, good It's all info We'll get. The funny part is we don't have any jokes in the next couple of months.
So that's good. It's all info. We'll get back on track
before we get to the dick jokes, which would be awkward.
I've seen bouncers
beat a man unconscious
outside after he started a fight with somebody.
We've seen Mike Epps' crew
make people unconscious.
Mike Epps' crew beat a man
half to death with a table.
It was on TMZ. It was really fucking
in our home club. It was very, very bad on New Year's Eve
for really no reason, too, which was
the oddest thing. All right, let's do this.
I keep looking
at this door.
If they bring him in through here,
I'm going to lose my mind. I want to see him
walk back in here and be like, I'm fine.
Fuck it. Let's go.
Somebody get me a shot.
I'm just a narcoleptic.
It's cool.
And then be.
Maybe that's Mitch Stacey.
He was a narcoleptic.
Let's move on.
Yeah.
So like we said, not a lot of there's less than 4% of the people are married, are not
married and have no goddamn kids.
Yeah.
So if you're looking to be unattached with somebody unattached, good fucking luck.
I don't know what's going on there.
Single with children, though, double the amount.
Really?
Yeah, there's a lot of divorce here also.
Higher divorce rate.
Jesus.
Higher widowed rate, which is strange for a young town.
Very, very odd.
Race of this town, if we're shocking, it's only 59% white.
Wow.
In Idaho.
Yeah, crazy.
No black people, though.
I don't think that's who's there.
Don't go.
0.12% black.
None.
None.
No black people whatsoever.
0.65% Asian.
They're still in the mine.
Are they either happy there's no Asians?
Right.
Or wooing for the few Asians they have.
Either one.
I'm not sure which.
I hope it's they like Asians.
That was interesting.
Because we are in Tennessee and we don't want to start an anti-anything rally.
We don't want to be responsible for that shit at all.
So Hispanic, though, 39%.
Yes.
A lot of Hispanic people here.
That makes sense.
That's pretty much all there is, is white and Hispanic. Yeah.
That's all. Less.
Holy shit.
That's a lot for Idaho.
How many
is that? He tried to do the math. Are you kidding me?
God damn. That's a lot of brown. That's about
800 Hispanic people if we're going to talk.
That's 40 percent. So anyway, or
40 percent. So
only about 28 percent of the people are religious, which is under the 50% usual.
I thought we had an update here.
I saw someone walking.
I'm like, she's going to update us.
9.73% Catholic, Hispanic.
So there you got there.
Almost 11% Mormon.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Like you said, though, anywhere there's snow, they'll be hiding in the snow.
And it's so close to Salt Lake.
And it's only four hours away.
They're going to invade there first.
I'm shocked that it's only 11%. They're going to
fuck their way to majority in a minute. No problem.
So, I looked for
because you always say
they're very white and they'll blend into the snow.
That's why they do it. So I looked for
I googled Mormon in the snow
and I found probably the greatest picture I've ever found in the snow and I found
probably the greatest picture
I've ever found on the internet.
This fucking guy.
A bare-ass white man
chopping ice for some reason.
Thigh deep in frozen water.
I don't know why
He's trying to blend in
He's standing out I think
He stood out on the internet
That's the craziest shit I've ever seen
I did not say Mormons are smart
That's not what I said
Two girls one cup isn't as fucked up as this
I'm sorry
That is weird as fuck
0.0% Jewish obviously Earl's one cup isn't as fucked up as this. I'm sorry. That is weird as fuck.
0.0% Jewish, obviously.
That's their feeling.
I don't think so.
No, thank you.
We're good thanks on the snow and the guy with the axe.
Thank you very much.
0.0% Islam.
They just aren't aware that it's there yet.
They'll get there eventually.
58% of the people here are Democrat.
38% Republican.
About 3% almost independent, which is actually higher than normal.
But it's Idaho.
I feel like they have some sort of independent spirit up there.
They're chopping ice.
That's as independent as it gets.
That's independent.
Yeah, they're all like a bunch of Dan Cummins, I feel like, up there, which is great.
He was digging for Bernie's votes.
That's what he was doing.
I feel the burn. It's not even cold. That's Jill Stein.
Let me put that aside. Never mind.
Unemployment rate here is low
because there's a lot of jobs in the outdoors and things
like that. So if you want to work, there's places to work.
Also the resorts and shit. So ski
lodges. You'll find a place to work. It's only
about 2.5% unemployment rate
here. Very, very low. A lot of
job growth in the future because they're expanding
so much with everything. Household
income here, median household income
is about $45,000,
which is about $9,000 under
the national average. This is a
town of haves and have-nots. There are
very wealthy neighborhoods, and then
there are the people who work for those
very wealthy people. That's it in this town.
There is no middle class. I like how
you said where the white people and where the
Mexican people live. That was very clever.
That's pretty much what's going on there.
If we're being honest.
Way more, that's pretty much
and that ties into our story too.
Alright, very good. Cost of living,
we say overall 100 is par
average even. Here it's 118. So a little high for living, we say overall 100 is par average even.
Here it's 118. So
a little high for Idaho, I would say, to live there.
Everything's about normal except
for housing, which is 148.
Very expensive. Holy shit. Yes.
Median home cost here,
$274,233,
which is...
It's Idaho, man.
Like, come on. Jesus.
That made the people of Nashville wince.
That was fascinating.
Fuck that.
200 and a sweet peach.
That was a lot.
I'll tell you what out of that one, boy.
That was no thank you.
274, that is high.
Like, your negotiating ploy should be,
you know this house is in Idaho, right?
Right.
You're not moving it somewhere better for me, right? That's not
happening? This town burned down
recently and this house is
made of wood. No. Shit could
explode at any minute. Someone's got,
everyone's got gas, someone's got a match. I don't
trust this fucking place. You know how many militias are
up here? This is bullshit. It's gonna happen.
And if we've convinced you you need to be in Idaho,
the only thing for you to be is
there. We have for you the Bellevue, Idaho real estate report.
Let's get to it.
Oh, yes.
Your average two bedroom apartment here goes for nine hundred sixty three dollars.
I found a little beauty here for sale by owner.
There that is.
Yeah.
Jesus.
No real estate agent would take that shit on.
I don't think so.
We're not making enough to chip off some fucking really?
We're going to pay somebody for that?
No. This is a one bedroom,
one bath, 500 square feet.
You know it's small because there isn't even room
for the fucking refrigerator in the house.
That shit is outside.
Fuck commission.
Yeah, that is, here's the inside of it.
A little slice of heaven there.
I don't know what's, I like the green carpeting.
That's a plus.
That's very nice.
The kitchen, they put the chairs up to make it bigger.
It'll look bigger if we take them off the floor.
Quick, snap it.
That bedroom is in the kitchen.
That is not a bedroom.
I don't know what that fucking animal is that's hanging up.
But I'm frightened to find out.
The headboard is just the wall.
That's it.
No door. This is
$77,000 for that.
It comes with an air conditioner, though, so congratulations.
And there's the bathroom.
I assume you shit into this.
Or that.
I'm not positive.
They need a Phillips, Oklahoma Home Depot bucket is all I know.
That's like a 25-gallon hot water feeder.
Is that what that is?
That's ridiculous.
You shit in the hot water heater?
How does that work?
I guess so.
Apparently so.
77 grand for that slice of heaven.
Next, I found a two-bedroom, one-bath,
little more put-together house.
It's cute here.
1,032 square feet.
It's got a nice little backyard.
Looks like an office complex place
where you smoke outside,
have coffee breaks and shit.
There's the inside of it.
I hope that's not the only source of heat.
I hope that's kind of
old-fashioned there.
There is one of the two bedrooms there.
$315,000 for that.
It comes with that shed, too, though.
$315,000 for that fucking thing.
Holy fuck.
I'm not sure if it comes with the antlers, but it comes with the shed.
I don't know.
I've been trying to figure that out all night.
It looks like somebody saw Angry Birds
and tried to make one.
Fucking ridiculous.
I killed this thing.
I think it's an Angry Bird.
You can shoot it at your neighbors
if they're loud.
It's got to be worth something.
Meanwhile, their garage is made of Miller Lack cans.
Jesus.
Oh, my God.
$315 for that bad boy here.
That's ridiculous.
Next, we have...
Now you're talking.
A five-bedroom, four-and-a-half bath, 3,900 square feet.
Look at this.
That's all beautiful.
It's like a walk through the forest there.
Look at that. That's fucking nice. It's like a walk through the forest there. Look at that.
That's fucking nice.
Right up against the mountain.
That's gorgeous.
Nice house there.
All right.
That's for you, Jimmy.
Oh, man.
They decorate after.
Jimmy wouldn't even have to fucking change the wallpaper.
Calm down.
You barely have a football team.
I was going to say.
Fucking relax.
It just got here.
You're still the fucking Oilers.
Relax.
When your Oilers win again
give me a call shut the fuck up
I have a Warren Moon
jersey to prove that shit
by the way I crashed
his Hall of Fame
inductance party
at the Hall of Fame about I don't know
10 years ago or whatever with bed puddle
and
Warren Moon is the nicest man ever.
Except when he's beating the shit out of his wife.
Is that why?
Yes, he was arrested multiple times for domestic violence.
He's nice to a very small white man
at his acceptance party.
Just don't cheat on him.
Right.
So, anyway.
I didn't suck anybody's dick behind his back.
Well, I wouldn't think so.
So this house here is $715,000.
So pony up.
There's your bathroom there.
What happens when you're a winner?
Things to do.
Blaine County hosts a thing called Wagon Days every year.
And that's what that looks like.
Wagon.
Hi.
Was that?
Go back.
James, is that the llama on his legs?
That's awesome.
Dagwood.
It's Dagwood.
This place here, Jesus.
Imagine how much cow shit's in the street there.
Or horse shit.
I don't know what the fuck this lady's doing exactly.
I can't imagine.
That horse is working overtime.
Holy shit. That made me happy, that picture. So I is working overtime. Holy shit.
That made me happy, that picture, so I had to put it in there.
Also, the Trailing of the Sheep Festival,
which everybody just follows all the sheep,
and they let them go through town.
Sheep shit up to your knees in this town.
Look at this.
Just walking them through the streets.
This is a festival.
This is fun to these fucking people.
The fuck?
You gotta be shitting me.
They're shitting everything, those fucking things.
Also, the Sun Valley Harvest Festival and the Sun Valley for the Arts Wine Auction are big things to do here.
Crime rate.
What we're interested in.
Yes.
The crime rate. Crime rate. What we're interested in. The crime rate.
Property crime.
Property crime represented by this
fella here.
You knew what I was talking about.
You party city googling
motherfucker.
Robber with loot sack. That's what comes up.
In case you're wondering. You know what I'm fucking saying
though, don't you? About 20%
less than normal here.
Violent crime. Repres represented by this gentleman right here.
Fuck your family.
About a third lower than normal here in this town.
So it's kind of a safe, rich kind of a town for the most part.
So, perfect timing because we're about to get into the murder part of this.
Let's talk about some people who had some problems in this town, we'll say.
Let's talk about Diane and Alan Johnson.
Nice couple.
Married in the early 1980s.
Here's a picture of them feeding each other wedding cake in the early 80s here.
Friends say they're great people.
They're a beloved couple.
We've had these people before, and it never works out well.
Whenever it's the beloved couple that everybody says hosts the parties and all that, it never works out.
Someone always dies.
It's every fucking time.
These people are no exception.
Friends say they're the greatest You know Couple in the world
The community looks up to them
They do charity shit
Alan is like the
Pillar of the community
This guy
Which is weird
Because he owns
A landscaping company
He's not like the mayor
Or like you know
Anything like that
Okay
Doesn't own the big hotel
Or something like that
But he'll trim the shit
Out of your bushes
And they respect that shit
Yeah
And he's very nice about it.
They respect how little
he pays those Mexicans that work for him.
They're like, God damn it, you did a good job, Alan.
So that's what they do.
They say Diane was the best friend you could ever
have. That's what everybody says about them.
Alan is partial owner of
the landscaping business, half owner here.
They're the nicest people
besides the slave driving driving as we mentioned.
Here's another picture of them.
Where's a bolo tie? It's Idaho.
I feel like that's part of the uniform.
They're very very much
into family. They love family
and family.
That part they were the ones who put that on
the end of the thing there I feel like.
Now there's some
disputed things here.
They have a son. We'll say
Diane has a son in
1981 named Matt.
Now, they just pretend
like he's Alan's kid, but he's not
Alan's kid. So that's an issue.
That's Alan
with Matt. He treats him
like his son.
The family knows that's not his son.
They got married after Alan was,
after Matt was born.
Yeah.
And it,
and that doesn't,
Matt does not belong to Alan.
So that's like a known thing
in the family,
but kind of that's the only place
unless you do the wedding math.
That's fucking weird.
Yeah.
It's a little weird.
So that,
that causes some issues
as we'll find out later on.
But they're all about the baby
when he's born.
Yeah.
They're all about family.
Here's
Alan shooting with Matt.
Showing him how to use a gun at a way
too young a fucking age.
That's fucking weird. He can't even
hold it himself. That's too young.
I get it. You want to teach your kids whatever. There's Diane
with Matt blowing out birthday
candles. That's very nice.
They continue their family
in 1987.
They have a daughter named Sarah Marie
who's, like I said, about six years
younger than Matt. She
is more of an outgoing type,
we'll say. Matt
is introverted. He's
quiet. He's very kind of keeps to himself.
And she is just out
there. She's got a big personality and she imposes it on everybody
But that's like, you know what you want
And you know you want your daughter to be forceful like that and get herself out there in the world your daughter
Oh fuck Jesus Christ daughter Jesus your daughter's got bodies. Oh, she's convinced of it. She'll touch it straight gangster
She'll have years old
Seven years old throwing gang signs.
It's crazy.
She keeps a straight razor in her shoe.
What does she call me, James?
Jimmy Wissman.
She calls me by my real fucking name.
He'll say, Presley, do this.
And she'll go, no, Jimmy Wissman.
I'm like, you're fucking serious?
First and last name?
Damn.
And I go, all right, I'll do it.
I got you.
I understand.
Brutal.
Thug life.
She's got that already on her.
For sure.
She wrote it in crayon.
It's gangster.
She's very outgoing, Sarah Marino.
She likes sports a lot, that sort of thing.
The couple is very sociable.
They're kind of the center of the town's social activities. There's not a lot, that sort of thing. The couple is very sociable. They're kind of the
center of the town's social activities.
There's not a lot of people there.
The people of their ilk,
they have a good amount of money. They live in a big house
with a big guest house out back.
They do very well for themselves.
They're kind of the leader of the social circle here.
They host
all the parties, which like I said, I don't
trust at all.
If you want to have people in your house I don't trust you
You're up to something I'm sorry
Come over James see how great me and my wife are
We're nice
Go fuck yourself I don't think so
We're so great come have some of our potatoes
Yeah I don't want your potatoes at all
We're so nice
They put together trap shooting
I swear it's my son
Wink wink Come by D-A-G No, no, no. They put together trap shooting excursions. I swear, it's my son.
Wink, wink.
Come by.
D-A-G.
No, no, that's a llama.
Never mind.
So they put together trap shooting excursions.
Yes, I don't know either.
So I had to look that up.
Sorry, I don't know shit.
We don't know anything about it.
They're fucking skeet shooting, I think.
I think that's a trap.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Skeet shooting.
Yeah, yeah.
And that's people trapped shooting.
There it is.
Right there.
So it's basically...
How many black people in that picture?
It's just a lot of white...
This guy's about to join them.
He's just about to...
He's late.
He has to dig himself out,
and then he'll be right at the trap shooting.
He's a son of a bitch.
Come on
now.
You take me for it.
So Sarah though is kind of the
apple of their eye. Maybe because
she belongs to both of them possibly.
Maybe that's it. I'm not
sure. But they don't on her
big time. And it's weird
because she demands the attention
and the son really if you don't give it to him he's fine with it he's just he's very passive so
it's he's not real upset about it or at least he doesn't show it outwardly got it she takes the
attention from her parents which you know that's just some kids are different and it's weird too
because if you have one kid one way the other kid's always the other way right it's just the
way it is like it's always an opposite. This is the same in my house.
It's basically exactly the same.
My son is like, care about me.
I don't give a fuck.
I'll be fine.
I'm playing games.
My daughter's like, you don't care about me?
I'll fucking make a scene.
God damn it.
So this is young Sarah as a toddler.
Very hard to get toddler pictures of this person.
But there's her as a toddler.
By the 90s, 2000s,
the family's growing up, obviously.
Matt is very, he
remains very quiet. He's very gentle.
He just keeps to himself.
He's an introvert. Sarah
becomes, she's very smart in school as she gets
older. She's very active.
She's in the debate club. She's
babysit. She's good with kids.
She's like the neighborhood babysitter.
They bring her over for whatever you pay, $3 an hour back then or some shit.
You can have as many popsicles as you want, whatever the fuck the deal is.
Just don't fuck your boyfriend on my sofa.
Yeah, that's it right there.
So she does that.
She plays basketball.
She plays volleyball, that sort of thing.
Her brother seems, they start to feel like her
brother's a little bit jealous as he gets older but he doesn't take it out on her they get along
very well as a uh you know as a brother sister despite their age difference too because it's
hard when you have age difference in your siblings like your sister's pretty close to you in age
right yeah we're two years apart two years apart four days apart and that means oh wow that uh
nine months before.
If you have a sibling that's close to your birthday,
do the nine-month deduction and figure out what's close to there.
And do you know what happens on my dad's birthday?
Not fucking anal.
That's what happens on my dad's birthday.
But she's much more gregarious.
She's much more out there.
But her brother's nice to her.
She plays basketball. There's a picture of her on the basketball team as she's growing older gregarious. She's much more out there. But her brother's nice to her. She plays basketball.
There's a picture of her on the basketball team as she's growing older.
On the debate team.
They're a nice family.
There's them at a younger time.
I feel like that has to be just game from church or some shit.
Or maybe that's what they trap shoot in.
I'm not sure. I don't know.
I'm going to be honest with you.
I dig his fashion sense.
I like the way Dad dresses.
It is.
That's top notch.
I would rock that for sure.
He dresses like Randy Travis, this fucking guy.
He dresses
like my dad or my grandfather
and me whenever I don't
want pictures taken. That's how I dress.
Jesus Christ.
So by 2003,
Sarah's 16 years old.
Matt is 22.
He's in college. He doesn't live at home.
He lives by the college, which is about an hour away.
All right.
So he's out of the house, but he still comes home.
It's an hour away.
So if you go to college an hour away from your house, you're going to do a lot of laundry.
Yeah.
You're going to come home and eat a decent meal.
Right.
You're going to be home a lot, basically.
She's 16, so she obviously still lives at home.
Okay.
She starts dating a boy at this point,
a guy named Bruno Santos.
This is him right here.
They went, oh shit, he's Mexican.
Yes, he is.
They were not okay with this.
That's a mugshot, honestly.
For everybody listening on the recording,
they didn't boo with it.
It's actually a mugshot of him.
His hairline is amazing.
I'm so jealous of that hair.
He could recede for four years and he would never notice.
He'd still be killing me.
That motherfucker.
Fucking killing it, man.
Problem is he is 19 years old, number one.
Parents don't like that a lot.
She's 16, he's 19.
His immigration status is dubious at best.
Oh, boy.
That's a problem.
And he's also a high school dropout who's a known drug dealer from the poor side of town.
Strike three, motherfucker.
Strike one, two, three, and four for this fucking family.
They're not okay with this.
This is what he looks like.
Parents saw him more like this.
That's what they saw him as.
Pile of cocaine and a fucking machine gun
ready to go.
Either that or this.
Either that or
Guapo.
One of the two.
It's the three amigos in case you didn't know.
Picture of them
just to let you know.
It's what they see
but me I just keep hearing as I'm reading the story
all I see is Bruno Bruno Bruno Bruno
and all I see is that
so it's way fucking different
for everybody
it's like a choose your own adventure
you can just pick which the character is
and that's him
Sasha Baron Cohen is the shit
you guys are amazing
oh shit
so he becomes
I love when I surprise you
my favorite thing he ever did
was when he was as poor
when he goes
my favorite sexual position
is dog style
where men stand like this
and dogs stand like
that's so great, isn't it?
Oh, Christ.
So fucking great.
I like Borat way too much.
That is literally my favorite character ever.
So obviously this Bruno Santos becomes the source of much debate in the family, we'll call it, for everybody.
Like, in the house with the parents, relatives, they're all talking about it.
Like, can you believe Sarah's dating that Mexican who sells cocaine over on the wrong side of the tracks?
Like, they are not okay with this shit.
They've got so many nicknames for him.
They've called him Pablo.
They've called him Juan.
They have so many different nicknames.
Tony Montana, El Guapo.
For sure. Like, just from Tony Montana, El Guapo. For sure.
Just from the pictures, we know that.
So yeah, the whole thing, they have one of her friends here, a girl named Syringa.
What the fuck kind of name is Syringa, first of all?
Syringa Stark.
Spell that.
S-Y-R-I-N-G-A.
Syringa.
Anybody else think of a different way to say that shit?
Exactly I was just making sure that shit was pronounced properly
Syringa
Moving on
Parents were weird as fuck
They attended that festival back in the day
Family first
So she's one of Sarah's friends.
She says about this relationship,
quote,
I felt she could do a lot better.
He was a high school dropout
and was selling drugs
and she was from a nice family.
It just didn't seem like it was right.
So I think I said it exactly
like she said it, by the way.
When a girl named Syringa
thinks her boyfriend's a piece of shit?
Listen, she knows.
She knows.
So one night after volleyball practice,
Sarah takes her newly acquired engagement ring out of her bag
to show her friends at 16 years old.
So not good.
The family is not fucking happy, obviously, about this.
They have late summer in 2003. This is late August.
There's a family wedding at the house. It is not between Sarah and Bruno, thankfully.
Cousins are getting married. These assholes, they host all the parties.
You can have the wedding at our house. Assholes. I don't trust them at all.
Type of people like, if we need a bathing suit, you can borrow mine. No.
No. I don't need a bathing suit, you can borrow mine. No. No.
I don't want your bathing suit.
Your balls have been in them.
I don't want them.
I'll smoke the weed out of them.
Yes.
But you bring...
Thank you.
Thank you.
Fuck, I was hoping he'd say that.
That's awesome.
Read my fucking mind.
Fucking unbelievable.
So, yeah, there's Bruno.
There's the family wedding.
Giant watermelon on the side.
That signifies big party.
There is rum in that, for sure.
Yeah, I hope so.
I hope so in this fucking house.
So, Sarah Johnson, through this whole thing,
through this whole wedding,
lots of family over,
she's described as, quote,
kind of pouty the whole time.
She's pissy.
She's pissy because her parents
wouldn't let her invite her boyfriend,
who she wanted to invite. She asked
her parents if Bruno
could come and they said
fuck no. They don't want her
anywhere near them. They're not going to get her around
booze in like open rooms and they'll be
porking in the fucking laundry room.
So you sell my friends cocaine?
Get your fucking boyfriend out of here.
Nobody wants to see that. It's very
uncomfortable when our friends are here
and they're cocaine dealers
when they say,
bro,
we try to keep
our world separate.
So she goes to her brother,
Matt,
for advice of,
you know,
basically complaining.
Mom and dad said,
I can't have Bruno over.
So Matt said,
quote,
I told her it was kind of
inappropriate for her
to ask our parents.
She knew that they didn't like him
and that she was with him
and he told her, quote, it needs to stop. She knew that they didn't like him and that she was with him and he told her
quote, it needs to stop. She said, you gotta
not be with this guy. He's 19 years
old. There's no future for you there. Blah, blah, blah.
So, this just escalates
over the next week.
Between mainly Diane and Sarah.
Alan is the peacekeeper here. The father.
He just wants them not to fight
like you would if your daughter and your wife
were trying to kill each other. Of course.
They're constantly fighting. They're
constantly yelling at each other. They would scream at
each other like huge. This is the first
time this has ever happened where they like are
that kind of you know adversarial
where they're screaming at each other in the home.
They look very mild these people but apparently
they'll scream at the drop of a fucking hat.
So yeah they would do that.
Matt ended up saying that, quote,
her and my mom didn't get along.
It was fairly rocky, constant fighting,
bickering back and forth,
and my dad always had to play mediator.
Alan is always in the middle of this shit.
At one point, this escalates into a physical confrontation
between the mother and daughter here.
They get in a big argument.
Diane slaps Sarah.
Mother slaps the daughter.
Rather than the daughter being like,
oh my God, like in an 80s movie,
like I can't believe you did that.
She attacks the mother back.
Because it's too late.
Right.
Should have done that shit when she was four
and maybe this wouldn't be here.
Right.
You're going to go home and talk to your wife
about that right now?
Slap our daughter in the fucking face.
She's seven.
It's overdue.
Fucking punch her.
Knock one out. Knock one out.
Knock one out.
Paintbrush her.
She's cute as fuck, too.
You could not paintbrush her.
She's too cute.
She'll paintbrush me by now.
Yeah, she'll get you back, too.
She'll just poison you in your sleep.
She would.
She'll piss in my bullet at home.
She'll piss in my bourbon and be like,
drink that, fuckface.
You're holding yourself like a dick.
I know. I don't know how women pee.
I have no idea.
He's like, she's pissing in my bourbon.
So tensions are mounting. Tensions are mounting.
Tensions are mounting.
There's the Labor Day weekend.
This comes to a big head.
When they find out, Sarah says on a Friday night, I'm staying over at my friend's house. They find out she's really staying over at Bruno's house.
Still a friend.
Parents are not happy, obviously, about this.
Dad said, fuck this.
I'm going to get her.
Oh, no.
Shit, yeah.
This is a skeet shooting guy.
Yeah.
He takes, they have relatives there for the weekend.
The kids' uncles, the wife's, Diane's brother and sister and her husband.
So they're there also.
This father takes the brother-in-law with him there, her uncle, Sarah's uncle, and says,
let's go over to this fucking house and get my daughter.
So they're going over there to retrieve her, which is awesome.
They said when they got there, first of all, I assume it would look like that.
Right.
If you're going to retrieve it.
That would be me.
Anyway, actually, I'm Italian.
It would look like this.
More like it.
More accurate.
Anyway.
You love how your chest looks.
You really are impressed.
I'm impressed.
I worked hard on that, Jimmy.
For me.
It's a lot of push-ups.
I like it.
So they go in.
They basically bust down the fucking door. say, give me my daughter back here.
The uncle says about Alan, quote, he was completely disgusted, as anyone would be when they found
out their kid is doing something stupid.
Yeah.
So I don't blame him.
They go over there to the Balmoral housing projects, where Bruno lives with his mother.
They're from this wealthy neighborhood in the hills.
They're like, we're going to the projects to kick a door down and take my daughter back from a Mexican.
Come on!
So Alan picks her up, we'll say.
He tells Stantos, or Bruno, to stay the fuck away from his daughter.
Obviously, even threatens to report him to the police for having sex with a 16-year-old girl,
which is still illegal in Idaho.
Barely, I'm sure.
It's Idaho. I'm not sure.
Do the Mormons have anything to say about it?
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Well, married off is different, Jimmy.
Look at that. Totally different.
You son of a bitch.
You know how that works.
So they find out when they get home,
she's complaining, how can you do this?
We're engaged.
So now they're like, what the fuck?
You're engaged now?
First you're over there with the parents.
Now they're really freaking out.
They said that this whole weekend went crazy
because she's engaged.
She's basically going to be grounded for being engaged.
For sure. You can't do that at all there. She's supposed to stay home the whole weekend went crazy because she's engaged. She's basically going to be grounded for being engaged. For sure.
You can't do that at all there.
She's supposed to stay home the whole weekend.
She stays home the whole weekend.
They take her car keys away from her.
They don't let her go out, which is so funny.
You can't get any more adult and child than being grounded for getting engaged.
That's so insane.
16 is the only age where you can get grounded for being engaged.
That is so fucking weird.
It's just 12 that wouldn't even be grounded.
Just be like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
No, no, no.
16, you're like, goddammit, no.
So they get there.
The rest of the family, they carry on.
They have plans that weekend because they have relatives in from out of town.
They go to, like, an antique market thing. They carry on. They have plans that weekend because they have relatives in from out of town. They go to
an antique market thing.
They go to a few. They go antiquing, basically.
She refused to get out of the
car. Sarah, they made her come
with. Imagine just looking out the window,
pissy in the backseat the whole time.
She wouldn't get out of the car. She said,
I'm fine here. You can make me get in
the car, but I'm not getting out. That sort
of shit. Just all that kind of shit. She was grounded to the house. She spent most make me get in the car, but I'm not getting out. That sort of shit. Just all that kind
of shit. She was grounded to the house. She spent most
of the time in the guest
house that weekend because she didn't want to be in front
by her parents. They have a guest house
that they rent out to a man
named Mel Spiegel, but
he's out of town for the weekend, so she is
using the guest house for her own
stupidity. The white privilege just
overflows. It's fucking incredible.
Can you imagine having a whole house to run to
when you're a teenager and you're mad at your parents?
Fuck you guys! I'm going out to the other house!
What the fuck are you talking about?
Oh my god. What are you talking about?
Fuck.
That's amazing. If I said that shit, it was
a tough shed out back where we
kept our dirt bikes and quads. They were like,
enjoy the scorpions, fuckface.
Yeah, enjoy, dickhead.
Yeah. Oh, shit.
She seems angry
about this whole thing. She's pissy,
obviously, the whole time. Arms crossed.
Sullen teenager asshole the whole weekend.
At one point, she asks
her mother if she can borrow the key to
the family gun safe.
Mother says,
I don't think so, but
they're a trap-shooting, kind of outdoorsy
kind of family. This is considered like,
oh, well, she's back on track. She wants to play with the guns
again. At least it's not a...
That's how they're looking at it.
That's good. At least it's better than a Mexican guy
who's 19 years old. That's how they're looking at it.
The mother didn't even think twice. She just said,
oh, ask your father. He's got the key.
He didn't fucking think about it.
No problem.
So after that, the house seemed calm for the rest of the weekend.
She kind of settled down.
Like I said, she stayed in the room or in the house by herself.
She said she was doing homework all weekend.
So, yeah, she's in and out of the guest house, the whole deal.
They said she never carried any books out there, although she said she did homework constantly.
So I don't know what the hell she was doing out there, basically.
Here's the house, main house, and then she's in the guest house over here.
Holy shit.
That's their property, man.
That's why they're, like, yeah, pissed off at any deviation from their plans, basically.
They are a planned people.
I want that to be the parents' bedroom right there where they can look out and see the light on all night.
And they're like, what is that bitch doing?
What's she doing?
How dare she?
What's happening now?
She better be studying.
I know it is.
Right.
So a brother said at this point, he's away at college.
He said Sarah kept calling him all weekend to bitch about the parents.
And the parents would call the bitch to him about Sarah.
Now this kid's in the middle of the mother and the daughter
complaining about each other.
They said when they punished Sarah this weekend,
she got mad the first day and then was just fine with it afterwards,
which the brother said was super not like Sarah.
He described her, literally said she was like Veruca from fucking...
That's what she said.
He's like, that's how you best describe Sarah,
is her, from Willy Wonka here.
So very much out of character
for her to just accept punishment.
That doesn't work like that.
So there was a weird thing.
That night, on the Sunday night,
they kept going back and forth
with this whole thing about the mother calling him,
the sister calling him.
Anyway, moving on.
Matt said he didn't like the way
a comment sounded from Sarah
and he was going to call his mother back to say
hey, you should go talk to Sarah. But then
he said, ah, it's too late. I'll talk to him tomorrow.
So, 6.20
a.m. the next morning. Oh boy.
Sarah is running down the street
screaming to her neighbors
somebody call 911
somebody call 911
somebody just shot my father
she's screaming and yelling
she bursts into a neighbor's house
they obviously call 911
I've heard the 911 call
Sarah's screaming hysterically in the background
the neighbor's like
I think there's a problem
imagine you're that
it's 6.20 in the morning a problem. Imagine you're that.
It's 620 in the morning.
You just woke up.
You're looking at a beautiful view of the mountain.
You're sipping your five. It's like a Folgers commercial.
It's like a 911 operators day in Idaho.
And then a teenager bursts in your door screaming and yelling, and you have to call 911.
Freaked her the fuck out.
So yeah, this ends up happening.
Sarah says that she heard a gunshot from her parents' bedroom, that side of the house.
She said she ran over there, went to knock on the bedroom door, and then heard another gunshot and ran out of the house screaming.
Okay.
So that's her story here.
I don't like the story, but go on.
Yeah, that's what she says, for now.
So it'll change.
The sheriff's deputy was a friend of the family,
and he had to be the one to discover the families.
He was a good friend to Allen's.
This was not okay for anybody.
They first thought, just coming upon the scene,
it was a murder-suicideicide a la the mayor, basically.
This is before the mayor.
Maybe he's got DUIs and shit.
Yeah, let's check his record.
Is he up for 10 in the prison?
Is he going away for a dime?
No, all right.
Do you have a bid on him?
Right, go on.
But literally they all knew them so well that they were like, there's no way that's what fucking happened.
They're like, we know them.
They have had no history of problems, no even hint of domestic violence or alcoholism or anything around
that would suggest that uh the sheriff uh the county uh sheriff here walt felming it's a terrible
name it should be fleming i feel like not fem oh it's femling which is even worse way worse yeah
femling said it was the most disturbing crime scene
he'd ever seen.
He said, quote, Jesus Christ,
I won't show a picture of this, don't worry.
He said, quote, there was blood and hair on the carpet,
it was on the ceiling, it was on the walls,
there was part of a skull cap in the hallway.
You have shocked OJ.
That is fucked up.
That's some shit when you shock OJ.
You have a skull cap
in the hallway.
In the hallway.
Which I have pictures of
but I will not show you.
Oh, thank Christ.
Because that is disgusting.
I will show you some crime scene pictures,
but not of skullcaps in the hallway.
Don't worry.
So the shower was running.
Alan's body was wet.
Based on,
they had wet, bloody footprints
and blood spatters.
It looks like Alan stepped out of the shower
and was shot
and managed to walk toward the bedroom.
This is the master bathroom shower. and managed to walk toward the bedroom. This is the master bathroom shower and managed to walk toward the bedroom and then collapse in there where Diane was in the bed bleeding to death from being shot through the comforter.
Oh, my God.
So it was bad.
We'll get into crime scenes.
There's the house.
And buckle up.
A couple of these are a little weird.
There is the bedroom.
You can see like kind of blood spatter
on the wall up there
as it's shot up there.
There is another one there
of the bloody footprint.
There's the bloody footprint in the bathroom,
which is pretty bad.
There's another one.
That's pretty gross.
That's bad stuff.
You guys are troopers.
Jesus.
Since you saw all that,
for a reward,
here's a puppy and a chicken.
Just in case.
Now that,
if you don't like chickens,
there's three puppies.
There's no better mouthwash
than three puppies, man.
Look at that.
Look how cute they are.
That's a sorbet for the soul
right there, man.
Beautiful.
I was about to turn my head.
I thought he was showing us a body.
No, no, no.
And now back to horrible shit.
So there's a hole in the comforter.
That's what Diane was shot through right there.
There is the hallway.
It's bloody.
There is a knife that has nothing to do with the crime,
but for some reason was found on a nearby bed.
There's a shell casing from...
It's a rifle that was used
in the thing. Here is a broken
Jesus that they really had a bunch of pictures of.
Very symbolic or something.
They were pretty pissed about that.
Y'all, we got one
picture of the shell casing, but y'all look how
much they broke up this Jesus.
I'm telling you.
It's fucking bad, man.
Right at the hips.
This is bullshit.
And here's a baby penguin,
in case that was bad for it.
Thank you for stepping on that.
Appreciate it.
Fucking dick.
There is the rifle that was found.
It's a.264 Winchester Magnum rifle that's found it's a 264 Winchester
Magnum rifle
that's found on the
other side of the house
that's when they realize
it's definitely not a
murder-suicide
so they don't think
Alan shot himself
walked across the house
placed it down
walked back without
leaving a blood trail
and then collapsed
in the bedroom
that's a far-fetched
far-fetched theory
of the crime
I would say
at that point
they found a bullet box
there
that that bullets came from that he used.
So the cops are all there.
They call it a double homicide at this point and lock this shit down.
Locking everything down.
And as they're doing that, they go out in the street.
They're like, let's get tape around the whole neighborhood.
Let's do this.
As they're doing that, they see a garbage truck driving away down the street.
And their garbage had just been picked up.
Detective goes, fuck that shit. Get their garbage had just been picked up.
Detective goes, fuck that shit.
Get that garbage can back here, too.
Some lucky asshole is going to dive into it and pick through that entire thing until you find these people's garbage.
You mean somebody who has three months on the force is going to dive into that shit.
I love on Law & Order to be like Lenny Briscoe is picking through the dumpsters. No. No. Lenny Briscoe is going, I'm too old for this shit. I'm not picking through shit. I love on Law and Order to be like Lenny Briscoe is picking through the dumpsters.
No. No.
Lenny Briscoe is going,
I'm too old for this shit.
I'm not picking through shit.
I was in Dirty Dancing.
You think I'm picking
through a fucking dumpster?
No.
Ain't happening.
I was there when
Crazy Goat Joe Gallo
got shot.
I'm not doing this shit.
So,
it's a really deep cut for you.
Who just got a badge? Put him in this shit. So, it's a really deep cut for you. Who just got a badge?
Put them in that shed.
So, they recover shell casings out of the garbage, bullets, the left hand of a set of gloves, of which they found the right hand of in Diane's car.
It was a set that she usually kept in her car.
The left hand of that glove and a right latex glove
that was worn on a right hand also,
and they found the other pair of that
upstairs in the house.
Also a blood-spattered pink bathrobe
they found in there,
which I don't think Alan was wearing either.
So murder-suicide is really not a theory.
They also found a pregnancy test in there as well.
So I don't think that was Alan's either.
Let's just say.
Yes. They also found
their keys, which is weird
in the garbage. The keys to the guest
house. Also
the magazine of a 9mm
handgun wrapped in a bandana
and two of the shells that
fit the rifle in the pocket of the bathrobe.
OK.
OK.
Is what they find there.
They test for DNA, but it's going to be a while before that comes in because it's, you
know, earlier time.
And so they talk to Idaho like it's in Idaho.
First thing they do is talk to Sarah.
See if they can narrow it down.
Like, hey, where's that fucking boyfriend of yours that they were just over kicking his door and threatening and wants to marry you?
Let's have a chat with him first.
Plus, you know, wink, wink, sort of Mexicany.
So we're going to have to talk to him.
It is Idaho now.
You know, the guy that has the same name as my Rottweiler.
Yeah, let's have a chat with that guy.
So, yeah, they're like, where is he?
He's off somewhere.
I don't know.
That's what they're picturing he's doing, I imagine.
Would you say they have a plethora of questions for him?
Thank you.
So they wonder if Sarah, they don't know,
they're like wondering if Sarah knew about it
or if this was revenge for being threatened
by the father and uncle.
They just think that Sarah's in danger too now.
So they're, you know, they don't know whatever.
So they want to hide Sarah.
Matt comes home.
He's called.
He comes home just in time to see the morgue vehicle parked in his backyard, wheeling his parents out.
He said that, quote, I kind of freaked out.
Sarah was running down the road toward me.
And the first thing she said was, they think I did it.
They think I did it.
So he said, no, no, there's no way they think you.
What are you talking about?
You know, you didn't kill Mom and Dad.
What the fuck, basically?
You know, what is that about?
And Sarah said that they also thought you did it
to the brother, but I told...
Wow, bitch, I didn't have shit to do with this.
Fuck are you talking about?
But she is such an asshole,
she told him, don't worry, I told them you loved
Alan like a real father.
Yeah.
She's like, don't worry.
Why'd you say that shit?
Calm down.
Make sure to tell them you're not their real kid and that might be an issue
and that they like me better, but I said there's no way
you still loved Alan, it's fine.
She is fucking, yeah.
Said there's no way he could do it. It's fine. She is fucking yeah. Said there's no way he could
do it. Don't worry about it.
Wow. Bitch.
Stop
talking. So
now Sarah out of nowhere is the first
time she mentions that there was
somebody prowling around the house at 2am
the night before now she says.
She said that
Alan and Diane had gotten out of bed,
mom and dad, to see if everything was clear.
Matt says that's not true.
The father, he's a white rich guy.
He would have called the police, he said, literally.
Or he would have, this is what the son said, not me,
or he would have let the dogs out of the kennel
to, quote, do their job, which I saw.
I guess so.
And he also said my mother wouldn't have gotten out of bed. My father would have said, you stay here. I'm going to I suck at. I guess so. And he also said,
my mother wouldn't have gotten out of bed.
My father would have said,
you stay here.
I'm going to get the skeet shoot
and go to the dogs,
and I'll call the cops on the way down.
I'm going to grab the Winchester, baby.
You keep sleeping.
Everything going to be fine.
All right.
If you hear a gunshot,
go back to sleep.
So as they removed the bodies from the house,
they noticed that Sarah was staring at it the whole time.
She wasn't looking away.
She wasn't putting her hands over her eyes crying.
They thought that was an odd reaction for a 16-year-old.
Staring at the body?
Staring at the bodies of their parents being removed and put in the morgue.
Super weird.
I don't know how the fuck you react to that, though, man.
Really?
That's crazy.
I don't know how people react.
People react crazy ways when they're in shock and when they're scared and when they're freaked out.
I don't know if that would be like, that's the last time I'm going to see my parents.
Yeah.
I have no idea.
It's weird, though.
They're suspicious.
Femling said, quote, there's something going on here.
I mean, most 16-year-olds would be hiding.
They would not want to sit there on a fence and watch their parents come out in a body bag.
No way.
Which, that's the normal way to look at it.
They also thought that her grief wasn't quite genuine.
She seemed preoccupied at the time.
She was talking about she had a hair appointment later in the day.
Which, she was going to get her nails done too.
Now it's weird.
Do I still go to my hair appointment?
They're like, I don't think so.
Probably not.
Yeah, so, you know. I don't think so. Probably not. So, you know,
I don't know what they keep
popping up. So also,
after this,
the next day she goes to volleyball practice,
which is also strange. Now it's a bit much.
Her friend Shante said
about volleyball, it's better than syringe.
She said, she came
to my side and she said,
find Bruno and tell him I love him no matter what happens.
And when she said that, it was just this awful feeling and my heart sank.
And I thought, oh, no, I think she did it.
So she started to get suspicious of her.
But no one, the police are mainly scared for her, not of her.
They're scared that she's going to be kidnapped or they're scared that Bruno's coming for her, the whole deal.
They're scared still at the crime scene when they're
processing it. They think that.
So they decide to send a team out
to look for Bruno.
Send a team out to look for Bruno.
As it's being put together, he shows up
at the crime scene. So they're
like, okay, never mind. Just banned.
He's right here. We've been looking
for you, sir. They say, stick around for a
minute if you would. That's not bad. Johnson, Teddy, Fred, come here. Go look for Bruno. Hey been looking for you, sir. They say stick around for a minute if you would. That's not bad.
Johnson, Teddy, Fred, come here.
Go look for Bruno.
Hey, how are you, sir?
Never mind.
So Bruno, when you're selling the cocaine, they get a warrant for his DNA, that sort of thing.
They want to match it to the gloves and anything they could find.
They figure out that the gun used belongs to Mel Spiegel, the tenant in the guest house.
It's his gun.
So they want to find him, obviously, since it's his gun.
They find out the fingerprints on the rifle that match no one here.
They don't match Spiegel.
They don't match Sarah.
They don't match Bruno.
They don't match the parents.
They don't match anybody here.
Those are the only fingerprints on the gun. So they want to know what happened to Spiegel. They don't match Sarah. They don't match Bruno. They don't match the parents. They don't match anybody here. Those are the only fingerprints on the gun.
So they want to know what happened
to Spiegel. Spiegel has been away.
He's been in Boise, which as we know
is two hours and ten minutes away.
Why the fuck do you think I tell you this shit?
It matters. Stats are important.
God damn it.
That's right.
Details are important.
He researches for a god reason, goddammit.
So, you're embarrassing me.
So, yeah.
She talks to the police.
She said she woke up around 6.15, heard the parents' shower running, continued to lie there.
Now she tells them she heard two gunshots.
The first story was I heard
one I knocked, I heard another. Now she
says I was lying in bed still, I heard two
gunshots, ran to the door
which was closed and
she said she didn't open the door but she
instead called to her mother. Nobody answered.
Ran down the street screaming for help.
Completely different fucking story.
And also she says the door was closed which
is a big deal considering there's blood spatter out into the hallway.
And a skullcap.
And a skullcap.
What the fuck?
In the hallway, which is an issue.
So her story is all fucked up.
It keeps changing around.
Now she says that a couple days later,
she says the parents' door was slightly open.
Other times she says it was closed completely.
Sometimes she said it was all the way open.
This is like every time they talk to her, it's a different story.
That door is moving like a motherfucker.
Yeah, she can't.
She can't keep track.
It's like the AC's bad and somebody just opened it.
Yeah, she just keeps knocking it back and forth.
They said based on the evidence in the hallway that both her door,
which is across from her parents' room, and the parents' door were both open because of the blood.
So at least when it was shot.
She also admits the pink robe in the garbage can belongs to her,
but she has no idea why it's covered in blood
and ended up in the trash.
No clue about that.
So, yeah.
Oh, she's a terrible liar.
Well, let's find out how good of a liar.
Literally, the first time they asked her about the robe,
they said, what about this robe?
Is it yours? And she said, I didn't kill my parents. That was the first thing they asked her about her the robe they said what about this robe is it yours and she said i didn't kill my parents that was the first thing she fucking said
which is not a great response at that point i thought that was a bit strange yeah a bit of an
odd one uh she said she thought the killer was probably a maid who was fired recently for
stealing so either way whether it's my boyfriend or a maid, it's a fucking Mexican.
I'll tell you that much right now.
It's definitely a Mexican.
We know that for a fact is what she's telling them.
This is long before the help came out.
This is crazy.
Huge.
They keep the kids, Matt and Sarah, for their own safety
because they don't know if this is like somebody like a rival
that wants to kill him for business or is killing their family
or maybe he owes who the fuck
knows so they keep Matt and
Sarah in the county jail at night
to keep them safe to keep them under police
watch there I guess they didn't
ever heard it's kind of like on
the wire when they try to send Wallace
down to Maryland
and then they want to put
him up in a hotel room and they don't and they end up shooting
him they can't testify against Avon.
And then what the fuck happens?
So, yeah.
Watch the fucking wire.
I was riveted.
And then you were like, and then on the wire.
And I was like, I have no fucking idea where we're at.
I don't know what we're saying now.
That's amazing.
So, yeah.
Matt also said that he didn't.
After the first.
After the first interaction, he didn't after the first after the first interaction he didn't want to
ask his sister about it anymore.
He didn't want to fucking know the answer.
The police want some answers though
because they find out at this point that the father
Alan has a $600,000
life insurance policy and the mother
has an $80,000 policy
and they're both payable right down the middle 50-50 to both siblings okay they want to talk to everybody here and make sure
what's going on here uh they like i said they collect uh they collect dna from everybody
they're waiting for that to come in uh all the uh fingerprints are right unidentified uh she also
has a bruise on her right shoulder from like recoil of a gun.
But she says
I may be right-handed, but I'm also
ambidextrous and I shoot with my left
hand. So that's not from that.
She goes, because I write with this hand, I spike
a volleyball with this hand and I shoot with
my left. So you guys are crazy.
Yeah, but the problem is that it
says Winchester down your
fucking shoulder.
Tattooed in there.
So after all this, after they get out of jail here for the couple days where they're trying to figure out what's going on,
she goes to live with the aunt and uncle who were there the weekend before. The ones who, that weekend, the Labor Day.
The one who went with the father to the apartment.
Got it.
Basically.
They end up excluding the housekeeper
from any DNA or anything else.
And she has an alibi and all that.
So they know.
They had to ask, I guess.
She also, at this point,
denies that she's engaged to Bruno, to the police.
But then all of her friends say
that she was bragging about her engagement ring.
And then the ones before that said she was bragging about her engagement ring. And then the ones before that
said she was bragging about shopping for engagement
rings. She's really been into this
engagement shit here. She even asked her
grandmother to try to find her boyfriend
to tell him she loved him. Shit like
that. Very weird behavior from her.
They end up clearing
Bruno first of the DNA
because they had his first.
She continues weird behavior.
She said to her, when she was with
her aunt and uncle, she said to her volleyball friend
that she couldn't call her because she was under
surveillance and just to find
Bruno and tell him that she loves him.
That's all she would tell everybody is find Bruno,
tell him I love him. She's mad
at her brother at this point. She goes to volleyball
practice and bitches and says, quote,
she said that her brother would be taken care of
for life, but she wished she could get an apartment
now because she doesn't like the people she lived with,
so why can't she get the life insurance right this
minute? This is bullshit that they're making me wait
till, you know, they finish the murder
investigation.
You know, till they're in the fucking ground
at least. So, yeah, it's
very, very strange. She tells her
aunt and uncle that she had a dream.
This is a weird dream. And why would you say this? She says, quote, this is what the uncle says. She
was walking into our home, but when she got inside, she was in her home in Bellevue. This is in the
dream. She said she could see her mom, but she couldn't see her face like it was digitally
blocked out. She said her dad was also there, but his chest was blocked out.
She said she wanted to hug him, but she couldn't
because she didn't want to hurt him.
And he said to her, you can't hurt me now.
And that's the dream she shares with her
uncle, which sounds weird as fuck.
I don't know why you'd share that with anybody.
She goes to the funeral
and this picture comes up a lot.
Her at the funeral. That's her arriving
to the funeral.
Party time.
Looking like she's looking for apartment hunting here.
Yeah.
Not terrific here. Meanwhile she brought
a bouquet of baby's breath
you cheap bitch. Yeah.
They give out a rose usually.
That shit is like $7.99.
What the fuck? These are your parents.
The whole town, basically 700 people, come on September 11, 2003 to have a memorial for them.
It's a 675-seat auditorium.
There's people sitting in the aisles.
It overflowed.
The whole town loves these people here.
After all of this, Matt returns to his classes at the University of Idaho.
Sarah's living with the uncle. She goes back to
school, to a different school, so she's not
so much, you know, have so much
attention. The next day, September
12th, Bruno is deported back
to Mexico.
Not happy about that.
DNA is in for
the rest of this, and I'll let the
filming, the police officers
say this. He said, quote, when the police officers say this he said quote when the
state lab came back and they said we have sarah's dna in the glove we said there it is we got her so
sarah's dna is in the glove in the thing she's inside inside the glove that was used for the
shooting she's fucked basically also on the pink robe covered in blood stains they found paint
chips uh like from your shirt, that matched
the shirt that she was wearing
the morning of the shooting. Oh no. So that
rubbed off on the inside of the bathrobe.
Hello Kitty fucked her. Yeah, big time.
Alright.
So they ended up, they tried
to get her to confess. They sat
her down and said, you have your DNA
evidence, you're fucked, and she wouldn't budge.
She's a gangster, this kid.
She would not budge at all.
They wouldn't, so they said, okay, well,
we arrest you for two counts of first-degree murder,
so we got that going for you.
This was a big deal, obviously.
It's a 16-year-old girl who they are charging
with killing her parents.
It's pretty crazy here.
So crazy that Nancy Grace can't shut the fuck up about it.
Yeah, there she is.
Yeah, I know.
The worst person on earth.
Since I had to show her, I then
found the second greatest picture besides
the guy with chopping the ice on the internet
and it's this. That's amazing.
Somebody defiled
her headshot and it's fucking great.
Whoever did that is a fucking god.
I've never been so happy.
Her headshot.
Just defaced her headshot.
You know that was hanging in the office.
Amazing.
But she actually had a good, because the defense's whole thing is,
why was there blood?
Because on the robe, there's blood on the back of the robe up because they're on the robe there's blood on the back
of the robe it's all over the back but not on the front
so the defense's whole thing is
how can that how can she have shot her backwards
maybe you know she was running away
or something like that so they're trying to say that
but Nancy Grace ends up coming with
up with the theory that the prosecution
ends up using in court actually
this asshole does that
yeah ends up saying well what if she wore it asshole does that. Yeah. Ends up saying,
well, what if she wore it
like backwards
as a shield for the blood
so it wouldn't get all over her clothes?
Nancy Grace,
you're not so goddamn smart.
I've been drinking for two hours
and I figure that shit out right now.
That's amazing.
So that's the whole thing.
They do that.
That's what they're going to go with.
At this point,
they have to tell her grandpa also.
They tell her grandpa, by the way, your granddaughter shot your daughter, which is fucking horrible.
He didn't get it.
He said, quote, they wouldn't talk to him.
He said, I finally just asked them.
I said, Walt, that's the police officer.
Who pulled the trigger?
Was it Bruno?
And the guy said, he said, no.
I said, then who?
And he said, Sarah.
And then he looked like that.
Not happy at all.
Not thrilled.
Not my Sarah.
So she's arrested October 29th, 2003.
There's her mugshot right there.
She is 16 years old and charged with two counts of first degree murder.
She is pretty fucked here and charged with two counts of first degree murder. She is
pretty fucked here, I would say.
The prosecution
does not pursue the death penalty
for her just because
killing 16 year old girls is really
a tough one when you're running
for re-election. You're like, I will kill your
teenage daughter.
That's rough. Did she fuck a brown
guy? I'll kill her. I. That's rough. Did she fuck a brown guy?
I'll kill her.
I swear to God.
I saw that pregnancy test.
She's going to reproduce and everything.
He said he's elected not to pursue the imposition of the highest penalty for these murders.
Justice can be served with the punishment other than death.
She is rich and white.
Did we mention that?
And a girl.
She's got a guest house.
Yes.
So you know how that goes.
They said the publicity could affect her
fair trial obviously so they get the
trial moved which makes sense. I mean this is in a
2,000 person town where everybody knows
the father. She can't get a fair trial.
And that's fine because you don't want her to win on appeal
and get off on this shit so that's good.
So they say that
they think it was revenge obviously when they give
their theory for everything. The aunt and uncle said that they were it was revenge, obviously, when they give their theory for everything.
The aunt and uncle said that they were basically the aunt and uncle were horrified because they thought from the third day she moved in with them that she did it.
They were like, we thought so immediately based on her actions.
And they were going behind her back like anything she say, they'd like call the police and be like, all right, she said this now.
Does this fit into anything? She's like, all right, she said this now. Does this fit into anything she said?
Literally, that's what they did.
They were like, hairs would fall out.
She's like, that's DNA they put in her pocket.
That's literally what's happening here.
Detective Mills, we've got a discarded cigarette butt. Can you please come by?
There's a team
swarming in. That's what they've done, man.
It's fucked up, man.
We have a hairbrush. We have what they've done, man. It's fucked up, man.
We have a hairbrush. We have a toothbrush and
a cigarette butt. Please get by here
with a Ziploc baggie and
can you bring that black guy with that weed
in his ball bag? Yeah, bring him, please.
So her
first court appearance, there's her
later on, pulling in for a court appearance later on.
She is, like I said,
16 years old. She's indicted. They describe her as upset, angry, and in for a court appearance later on. She is, like I said, 16 years old.
She's indicted.
They describe her as upset, angry, and defiant in court.
She's not cooperative at all.
Everybody says she didn't say much, the whole deal.
Now, Santos here, he is called,
they bring him back to America to be a witness against her.
Bruno.
Bruno, yeah, Bruno Santos.
They bring him back.
They said, quote,
he's definitely considered a material witness and he testified to the grand jury.
There is him in court.
Oh, Jesus.
He's also under,
we'll talk about him.
Whoops-a-daisy.
We'll talk about that later.
Why did I fuck that white girl?
You'll see.
That's what he is.
That's why I never talk to anybody.
You'll end up a material witness in court.
I know three people.
I will not keep
any of that.
Any extra person I know
is just another person
I'm going to have to be
a material witness
in a murder trial.
So her friend Megan testifies.
That's Megan right here.
Of course it is.
Like, what a bitch,
I'll tell you right now.
It's terrible.
It's awful.
She stole my boyfriend last year.
I said, fuck you, bitch.
First things first, I blew Bruno first,
and this bitch got a new haircut,
and then Bruno liked her.
They said, is Sarah known for being sweet and nice?
And she said, yes.
And they said, is she also known to stretch the truth?
And she said, yes.
And Sarah was pissed, obviously.
There.
Not fucking happy at all.
Super pissed at that.
So the uncle, aunt, and uncle testified.
Like, the whole thing, they testified
that they were helping the prosecution from the start
and gathering evidence, basically.
Matt testifies against her.
Also, Spiegel says that he was out of town.
He left the rifle. That whole deal. Matt testifies against her, showing off Spiegel says that he was out of town. He left the rifle.
That whole deal. Matt testifies against her
showing off the whole house.
That has to be hard for this poor fucking guy.
His parents are dead. His sister's
in prison and now they're like, let's put your
sister in prison more. But on the other
hand, if she's in prison, who gets
all the life insurance? It's Matt.
So this is how the house layout is.
You can see
this general
vicinity.
I like Winnebago's
and I'd really like to have a
timeshare in Canada.
Also, her
cellmate,
her cellmate,
Melinda Gonzalez
she said I would ask her questions over
and over again one time she was like
when I killed then she stopped herself
and was like when the killers so the
prosecutor asked what did she say to that?
And she said, she just looked at me and I was like, don't worry, I'm not going to rat on you.
And I didn't think I would.
Then she's like, but I am now, motherfucker.
Don't worry, I won't rat on you.
But here I am, y'all.
Five years off my sentence, everybody.
I was just kidding.
Ha, ha, ha.
Oh, that's amazing.
God.
God, women are mean.
Yeah, they are.
Mean as fuck.
So everybody, she has friends that testify.
More cellmates testify saying that she talked about how she loved her dad,
but she was pissed at her brother because he's going to get all the money and all that sort of shit.
They said she was a daddy's girl, blah, blah, blah.
The whole deal, she said afterwards, she bitched to somebody about her brother,
and they said about this, she pretty much despised him because after the murders,
he spent the insurance claims on a Chevy Suburban and a house and
getting married while she was in jail.
That's what happens when you don't murder people.
You're allowed to fucking get
married and buy a house if you want. You're allowed to
if you get $600,000.
They said she talked a lot about the insurance money
and also taking, she's got a new
guardian now. She got away from her
aunt and uncle. She's got a new
guardian named Pat. She wants to take
Pat on a cruise to Mexico.
Okay, I don't know. Pat.
Yeah, like it's Pat, I suppose. I'm not sure.
Because, you know, that's where
Bruno's going to be in a minute.
Cruising down. They're going to meet him on the shore.
So they also said that
she was upset in prison.
The cellmate said she was upset because a couple
times she went
to watch TV and she wasn't on cellmate said she was upset because a couple times she went to watch TV,
and she wasn't on court TV, and she was pissed.
She said, quote, it should be on TV.
She was mad.
She was like.
She was also pissed off she couldn't wear her regular clothes
because she had to wear the prison oranges, and she didn't like that.
You know, that whole deal.
The defense case is basically
please?
I don't know.
She's a girl.
Look at her. She didn't do it.
The guy's Mexican. Have you talked to him?
Have you seen him? That's basically
what they did. Do you see how white
she is? Look at how white she is. She's got a guest house.
She says that the
they bring out her guardian who says...
They present all the evidence and they said,
do you still think she's innocent?
And she said, yes.
They said, do you think you're biased?
She said, yes.
And they were like, okay, well, that's pretty much fucking useless there.
The physical evidence,
they said the defense's whole case
was no blood, no guilt.
There was no blood on her clothes,
so no guilt.
There's blood on the bathrobe.
They had to explain that.
By the way,
this is a professional forensic scientist
in court, okay?
I just want to tell you this.
It's not Elmer Fudd
creeping around for wabbits, all right?
This is a guy trying to prove the theory of the case.
That's a man.
He's got like
four PhDs, this
fucking guy.
How are we quiet? I'm hunting Fucking guy. Very, very quiet.
Hunting weapons.
Fucking insanity.
This shit is pink.
How did somebody not shout, you'll shoot your eye out?
Look at this.
It's his bunny costume.
Holy fuck.
Should be a tail on that fucking thing.
Unbelievable.
This goddamn fucking guy.
Wow.
I'm hunting mountain lions.
Same Dagwood.
So the closing arguments, the prosecutor says,
piece by piece, the evidence has shown the face of the real killer,
and that face is Sarah Johnson, and she's pissed.
That's literally her during the closing arguments.
They made note of how much she kept making faces
and, like, fucking mumbling under her breath.
She was like Bill Cosby when he got convicted.
Same type of thing.
We all read that.
She didn't call anybody an asshole, though.
She has more...
And by the way, fuck that motherfucker
for being clean and bitching about dirty
comedians the whole time. The second you get
caught for raping people,
you say asshole.
Fuck you.
You putty-eating cunt. Fuck you.
Yeah. That's right
First time he swears
On public record
Is when he's defending himself
For putting his penis
In an unconscious woman's asshole
Fuck you Bill
Fuck you
Well done James
Well fucking done
The defense is the...
The defense's closing argument
at the end of it, he says,
quote, make them go out
and find the real killer, please.
That's what he says,
so he's full of shit, yeah.
She's convicted, obviously.
It doesn't take long.
It's like pretty much immediately
she's convicted. The doesn't take long it's like pretty much immediately uh she's convicted
uh they the prosecutor's like obviously you know and the defense is they're still saying i think
she's innocent i don't know we think she's innocent like we're gonna we're gonna stick with
that uh july 1st uh 2005 is sentencing uh now in the sentencing here first they had a psychiatrist
evaluate her uh he said quote i did not find anything in the data I collected
that there would be anything indicating
she would be prone to violence.
This is the defense got a
psychiatrist to say, we should let her out soon.
She's fine. She's totally fine.
Nothing that she would be prone to violence. If
allowed back out on the street, I doubt of any
repeat incident.
Like, you know, so.
Him too.
Fuck it.
What the hell?
He will not be repeating.
I don't think.
No, he's done now.
So, no.
He's going down.
So, uh.
Jesus Christ.
That's amazing.
Goddammit, I love Tennessee.
That is her...
That is her...
That's her praying
for her verdict, by the way.
That is her not happy about
the verdict. That's her her not happy about the verdict.
That's her even more unhappy about the verdict.
The Blaine County Sheriff said,
there's no winners here.
I think there is.
Not her.
Whoever's not her is the winner.
Yes, they said she tried to,
everybody says who knows her said they tried to discuss it.
She'll still deny it.
The whole deal, she keeps denying it.
The prosecutors sought a life sentence
on this whole deal.
And we'll find out what ends up happening here.
In sentencing, finally, let's find out.
The judge, they try, they beg for her life.
They say that the evidence indicates that she's not seeking rehabilitation.
She's just trying to get out of it.
It's all about Sarah.
It's all about Sarah now is what the judge says.
And says, you, young lady, may fuck off.
Take a hike.
Two consecutive life sentences.
Oh, my God.
Plus ten years.
Oh, my God.
No parole.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
Surprise.
Bam.
Fuck. Don't be killing people in Idaho
Number one
Holy shit
Also $10,000 worth of fines
Which is amazing
Yeah
$5,000 of which she owes
To her brother in restitution
For killing his parents
So take that
With the life insurance
He's like that's good
My suburban can use some new rims.
I like that.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Put some intake and exhaust on this thing for me, please.
June 2008, the judges, there's an Idaho Supreme Court.
They uphold the jury verdict that she murdered her parents.
2010, through some legal loopholehole she gets a new trial
out of this fucking thing
there she is in her new trial
time has not been good to her
there's her at her whole defense table
don't worry same result she's still fucked
two life sentences
she's done didn't take them long
July 20th 2011
Bruno Santos is sentenced to 10 years in prison
for delivery of cocaine in 2010.
Holy shit.
He sold it to an undercover officer,
him and his 27-year-old cousin.
Are you telling me her parents were right?
Oh, they were right, yeah.
He's sentenced to 10 years
while he's already serving 14 years
for a 2009 drug deal.
Holy shit.
For selling half a pound of methamphetamine to an undercover officer.
My Christ.
Yeah, not bad.
He's serving his terms concurrently, though, with some credit for time served.
They're trying to also get him deported when he's out of prison, obviously.
So she's in prison.
That's her kind of offender thing there.
She's got her two counts.
So that's Pocatello State Prison.
That's where she is now.
Here's her yearbook picture from jail, literally.
That's it.
So that's her doing fine.
Diane and Alan, on the other hand, are in Bellevue Cemetery.
A little sadder there.
In 2014, the Innocence Project, which. A little sadder there. In 2014,
the Innocence Project, which usually does a lot
of good shit too, with like Adnan and all that
shit, they decided to take on
her case.
Fucking unreal. Based on
the fingerprints that are unidentified on the
gun. So what they ended up doing is
the police were like, alright, we gotta figure this
shit out because she definitely fucking did this.
Whose fingerprints are they? They found out that the fingerprints
came from the guy who helped Mel Spiegel
move into the guest house two years ago.
Literally the guy who helped him
move all his shit in,
carried it in, put it down.
Irrelevant.
Mel hadn't picked it up.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Stay in prison.
Yep.
They talked to him.
Eat dicks on that one.
They also ruled that she is not entitled
to have any new DNA testing because
it's DNA and it was fine. So they said
we have everything. No new samples there.
It goes all the way to the Supreme Court
in 2017. This was September
of 2017. Very recently.
They said that the
basically,
they grant a... Okay, it's interesting
here.
They grant a petition,
and then it fucking... They granted the first petition,
and then afterwards they said, never mind,
and then took it away. So, it's fine.
What they said, it's hard to explain. It's a bunch of
legal shit. We'd be here till fucking midnight.
So, never mind. Seriously. I can't get into it with you guys right now. It's a bunch of legal shit. We'd be here until fucking midnight. So never mind. Seriously.
I can't get into it with you guys right now.
The whole thing is fucked, basically.
And the point that they're trying to...
They're trying to say that the sentence is too long.
To sentence someone who committed a crime when they're under 18 to life sentences without parole is not okay.
Because there were Supreme Court guidelines that were established after she was convicted.
So they're trying to backtrack it on her.
And in this earlier fucking thing,
what they're trying,
this is the excuse for that.
They called this,
Jesus Christ.
She is so white.
Sorry, go on.
They were trying to determine
in each individual case
if the person's crime
reflected the transient
immaturity of youth
it's a brutal rifle killing
of your fucking parents you spoiled
asshole bitch since you were
born they've taken care of you fucking asshole
that's not the transient fucking
immaturity of youth no
this reflects the transient immaturity
of youth that does
that's the transient
immaturity of youth. That does. That's the transient immaturity of youth.
That's the fucking transient immaturity of youth.
That's the transient immaturity of youth.
No, that's a killer.
No, that's an adult murderer.
No, him too.
He's a murderer also.
That's Bellevue, Idaho.
That's the Jansen family murder.
Thank you guys so fucking much for coming out
and seeing us. Thank you, Nashville.
Thank you!
Thank you to everybody that came out this whole fucking tour.
Seriously, we love you. Get over here,
fucker. Thank you, guys.
Thank you so much.
Bye! Bye! podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com
slash survey. I understand that anybody who's paid attention to the media would have to come
to the conclusion that I killed my wife. Hi, my name is Zach Stewart-Pontier. I'm one of the
filmmakers behind The Jinx, and I'm excited to bring you the official Jinx podcast. We'll be
revisiting all six episodes of part one and watching along with part two as it airs on Max starting April 21st.
Bye bye.
The official Jinx podcast.
Listen on Max or wherever you get your podcasts.